Good News On Good Friday - Coffee with Dr. Tony Evans

wine, you know, whatever it is that you drink in the morning to wake up. And I'm grateful that my dad agreed to join me this morning. He was like, you want to talk to me for a whole hour? It's like, yes, sure, yes, a whole hour would be great. Anyway, if you've never— and you are like, where are my resources? The way you get the resources, like all the links of all the things we talk about every day, is by allowing me to deliver those to you via email. And how do you give me your email? You simply go to chrystalevanshurst.com and right there under my picture, you'll see an email box. And once you do that, we have a huge resource page now of all of these great things that have been mentioned throughout the last— oh, is this the third week? This is the third week of Every Day. But I am excited to have my dad with me this morning, and I know many of you are too, because I've seen your comments since we shared about that last night. So I want to bring him on and chat with him. All these conversations are They're just a little QC, a little quarantine content so that you can exercise some quality control in your everyday life because life is chaos right now. In a lot of ways for a lot of people, loved ones that we know aren't well, a lot of us are grieving just because of the recent months and stuff that's happening. But also some of us are just with our kids all day and trying to figure out what that means and how we give an income if our hours are cut back or if we've lost our jobs. So it's a tough time. And if there's anybody that I know that can speak to what it looks like to keep hope even in difficult seasons, it's my dad, Tony Evans. So I ask him to join us and I'll bring him on screen right now. Hi, Dad.

Hello, hello, hello, oldest child.

Thanks for getting up.

Well, thanks for forcing me to get up.

Listen, you are the hope giver for sure. One is you are a naturally positive person. And then you believe in Jesus and all of the hope and the anticipation, the positive anticipation that we can have about what God is doing even when we can't see, even when we can't make sense of some things. And then of course, the hope that we have for eternity, for the life to come. So both because of your personality and because of your belief in Jesus and what that means for us now and in eternity, I wanted to talk to you and have a hope-filled conversation because it's Good Friday. It's Good Friday. And in history, this was not the best day when we think back to Jesus and his death on the cross. But there was good news coming, and I wanted to talk a little bit about what the good news is that we can hope and hold on to during tough times. But let me start with this, because everybody asks me. It doesn't matter if I'm on Instagram, doesn't matter if I'm on Facebook, it doesn't matter if I'm grocery store, the question is always the same: how's your dad doing? So when people ask me that, I tell them, you're doing okay. I mean, you're taking your time, of course, and you are taking your time and making the room to grieve. But let me let you speak for yourself. How are you doing?

Well, you know, we taking it one day at a time. You know, there's ups and down each day at different levels. Uh, it is a different season. Um, you know, you have your periods of loneliness, you have your periods of memory, you have your periods of gratitude. I'm surrounded by a lot of love, uh, with my family and with my family of faith as well. And so, uh, that's always an important thing. Uh, there are a lot of, uh, you know, you got to think about 49 years. You have to remember so many great things that happened in those 49 years for which I am I am eternally grateful, and while I miss your mom, I am grateful for her involvement and her investment in my life personally, in my ministry, that her footprints are everywhere. And I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing at the level that I'm doing it if it wasn't for the grace of God and the life and support of Lois Evans. So I am— we're trusting God. For new mercies every day.

So many people, of course, watched us pray for her, for her healing, and we did that for months. We talked about, um, our journey here and there, uh, and, um, but, you know, it was clear that we were asking God for healing. And of course, that's not what he chose to do on this side of heaven. Um, and I remember one day I was in the in the closet, you know, just taking care of some things and getting some things that we needed in her area of your bedroom. And, you know, you ask me all the time, you know, how am I doing? And I probably give you a curt answer here and there. But Then one day you asked me and I was like, you know, and then I didn't want to burden you honestly. I was like, okay, Daddy's grieving and he's a pastor and all the things. And, you know, I know you want to know, but I also am conscious of your journey too. But this particular day you asked me and I just kind of went blah, you know, I just was like, well, here are all my questions. You know, here are all my questions. And you let me, you listen to me. And then you said— I'm about to go on Instagram, Heather's waiting for me. Um, and then I, I said, I don't understand, I don't understand. Um, there were so many things that, um, that it seemed like God was giving you, giving mom, giving us that were like lights of hope. Um, happenstance things you didn't plan, messages you ran into, people you ran into. It was kind of a crazy thing, and it seemed to point— like, all signs, all road signs pointed towards healing, and then that's not what he chose to do. So I was disappointed, but I also was confused, and I shared some of that with you. So I shared my questions, and your response to me was, well, I have those questions too. Which I want you to know is helpful for me to hear. But at the end of the day, you still believe. So can you talk to people for just a second who have believed on God, who have believed in Jesus, who have prayed and God has not answered their prayers, whether that's salvation of a loved one or, you know, what have you, but are struggling with continuing to believe? They've been disappointed by God not answering their prayers. What gives you the hope, the ability, the determinedness to still believe even when God didn't answer probably one of the biggest prayer requests of your life?

Well, you always have to go back to the character of God. If you lose sight of the character of God, you will be lost. Life has things that you can't explain, things that you don't understand, and his will is inscrutable. That we see that in the Bible. Um, Habakkuk was struggling with what God was allowing, what God was doing. In the 3 chapters of his book, he asked the question, why? He asked the question, how long? Then he comes to the last 3 verses and he says Though there is no cattle in the stall and there's no figs on the tree, I'm going to rejoice in the God of my salvation. In other words, he had to resign himself to who God was when he didn't understand what God was doing. Isaiah 40 is probably my go-to passage when people are asking God why. Why are we going through this? And God says, "Well, my understanding is inscrutable. There are things about me you will never be able to figure out." So that's trusting God in the dark. When you do not understand, when he seems to be going against what things look like, when you're in a Martha and Mary moment, when you say, "If you would have been here," which means, where were you? Then things wouldn't have got worse like this. I have to appeal to what I know to be true about his character. He is good. He is sovereign. There are things about him, Isaiah 55:11, that we don't understand, um, and that he does not reveal. Job never found out why he had all the struggles he had, the losses he had. But the thing that saved him during that period of massive loss was his knowledge of God. He says You know, I heard about you with the hearing of the ear, been to Bible class, been to church, studied, but I've seen you with my own eyes. So my passion is to see God in the midst of what I do not understand, and that's where my comfort comes in the midst of my loss.

What does it mean right now for you to see God apart from what you've known about him? Like, what does that practically look like? We know that the Bible talks about seeking first the kingdom of God and all these things being added to you. We know that we're supposed to prioritize. Revelation says you've left your first love, so we're supposed to come back to our first love. But what does that look like for you seeking him right now in this season? I mean, I know what it looks like to me you're doing, but I'll let you speak for yourself. What does that look for you— look like for you?

Well, there's a lot of time with just me and God, more than it would maybe normally when I'm busy. Corona has helped that out a lot because here Corona has secluded us. I'm walking through passages of scripture every morning, just reading and thinking, and I'm not doing it for a sermon. I'm not doing it for a Bible class. I'm doing it for me. And I'm asking God to give me a greater sense of his presence. Of his power, of his will. And one of the ways you get to see him, according to Isaiah 40, is when he gives you new strength, when your get up and go has gotten up and gone and he comes alongside and boasts you. He does that through a lot of ways. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter, so he gives calm even when you have tears. He gives calm. And so The way he does it for me is when I hear him speaking to my soul and bringing comfort in my soul and reminding me that it's okay. When he lets me see things that Lois has said or written that I never knew about that are reminders of her faith. When our family gathers and we reminisce a little bit. So all of that comes together. That God uses to, to let us know that he's not far from us. He's, he's real close by, that he understands the brokenhearted, he understands our tears, he understands our pain. And while I would like more answers, I would like more understanding, I would love more clarification, especially in light of what the signs were that looked like he was going to do healing I have a feeling in spite of all of that, because I've decided to trust him, that starts with a decision of the will, not of the emotions. But I believe he continues every day to respond in sometimes little ways, sometimes bigger ways. I've had people call me and tell me about Lois's impact in their lives who I never knew about that. Well, that is a reminder of how— how meaningful she was to me, and God decided that she was more meaningful to him in this stage of life and took her to be with himself.

I mean, one of the things I know that was tough for you, um, I was talking to Erica Campbell yesterday and she was just saying how, um, you know, she's got a lot going on and she talked about being busy and how she's realizing, you know, busyness is something that she loves. She loves being productive and she's had to look at the root of some of those things, like why, why do I always need to be busy and productive and creating and achieving all these things. And you're definitely an achiever. You've even said when you just released the study guide, Tony Evans' study commentary and study Bible, and you said, you know, it's been a decade of work, but you also said it culminated with that, but you've been going hard since you were 18. I've heard you say that a few times. So even, you know, with mom's passing and all of the things that that means in terms of, you know, taking the time to grieve, you know, I remember we were talking to you and we said, Dad, like, because, you know, you were ready to preach. I mean, you know, mom passed on the 30th, December the 30th, and December 31st for New Year's Eve service, you were at church, you know, giving the message for New Year's Eve. And we just said, Dad, you know, it's— do you think maybe it would be you know, a good thing for you to just sit for just a second because it's so ingrained in you to keep doing what God has called you to. And you did. There was a month of Sundays where other ministers came and shared at our, at our church, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship. But then I know that there was a part of you that was looking forward to doing, doing what you do because you're passionate about it. So you kind of got busy a little bit and, you know, went back to work and I know that that helps to fill some of the space and then COVID-19. So then you're right back to being still. Has being still in this season been difficult? In a season maybe where the quiet of the house is hard and you're not able to escape as much by going to the office and doing all the things. I mean, there's still work because there's Zoom. You've learned Zoom.

Slowly but surely.

Is it hard to slow down? Is it hard to slow down for you?

Well, you know, the psalmist says, "He maketh me lie down." So I've been forced into a slowdown along with everybody else.

Yeah.

But you know what? It hasn't been too bad. I thought it would be worse than it is, but it hasn't been too bad. I've had time to kind of kick back a little bit, relax a little bit, rest more than I would normally rest. And I read. I've been able to read a lot, and I love to read. You know, we still have been doing sermons each week, so all of that's there as well. So, so no, I rather appreciated the time. Actually, it's kind of a reboot time. God may have allowed corona just for me.

I said that with Priscilla the other day. I said, you know how she's always talking about needing more time with her kids, I said, well, your prayer request was answered. I mean, obviously we know that God doesn't cause bad things, you know, to happen where, you know, because we don't want to make light of, you know, Priscilla needs time to be with her kids. And so God said, let there be corona. But the reality is, is that the intentional or unintentional benefit to many of us, like you're saying, is this forced reset. I've said a few times since we've been doing these lives that it's like a a forced elimination diet. Everything that we've been putting in our systems that may or may not have been good for us, it's all been ripped away for many of us who— I know a lot of people still have essential functions and are going to work. But for many of us, a lot of the things that have been making, I mean, honestly making us sick, too much stress, too much busyness, not enough time to be with our families, not enough time to spend with God, they've been ripped away. I saw a meme recently where somebody said, now that I can't go to work, now that my kids don't have basketball or baseball, now that these things aren't happening, I thought that the reason why I hadn't cleaned out my closet, I hadn't cooked, I hadn't done all these things was because I was too busy. Now I'm not busy. And now I realize the problem is just me. It's just, it's just, I can't, I can't blame my situation on anybody else, but just me. I know I've come, into the house and you do, you have your books and your, um, your yellow legal pad, your iPad, your phone, and they'll be all spread out, you know, on the bed. Um, but the reality is, while you have more time to do that now in this season, um, that's kind of your stance. Um, you kind of have this stance, you know, when you're, um, kind of in the bed studying where you're kind of leaning on your left side and you're studying, or you're in the spot right now in the chair in the living room or the couch that's right next to you. You have your spot where you study. The discipline of study, the discipline of pouring your heart and your mind into the Word of God. Yes, so you can preach, but yes, so you can get to know God. Can you speak for a minute to people who really want to use this season to get to know God better, to read his Word, to to pray, to spend time, and they want to hear from him, but they struggle with the discipline and the consistency of that. Uh, can you speak a word of encouragement to somebody who just needs to know, okay, what do I do if I've never been good at reading the Bible, never been good at, um, at praying, never been good at doing those things on a consistent basis? What practical encouragement can you offer to that person?

Well, the first thing I would say is start. As simple as that is, because you can always use the excuse that I've never been good at it not to do it. It's like working out. You, you may not be good at it, but if you don't start, you'll never get good at it. So the thing is to start again using exercise. When you first go out to exercise, you may not be able to run a marathon. You may have to start with 5 minutes. So a little bit regular is better than a lot occasionally. So just take that 5 or 10 minutes and begin to sit down and just have a conversation with God. A lot of times prayer is defined in a very sophisticated way rather than as what you and I are doing, a conversation. It's like you get your coffee cup like you have here and I have mine, and you say, God, let's talk. And you tell him how you feel, what you think. I love the Lord's Prayer. It begins with, "Our Father who art in heaven," not my God, but my dad. And so if you believe in Jesus Christ, you have a father. So talk to him like a father. That means it's conversational. And when it's conversational, it's a lot easier than when it's formal. And then there's a lot now that you can draw from to assist you in those conversations. Because so much is online now, you know, through the Urban Alternative. We send out a devotional every day, and you're on with people every day. So it— there are things you can use as supports, or you can just decide to read through the Bible, you know, slowly, just to, uh, just to kind of say, God, speak to me today. And, and when something jumps out at you you have a rhema moment where, where something lifts off the page and grabs your attention. Then you pause and you think about that. You roll it in your mind and heart and ears. The key thing though is when you have the written word and you're talking to God, the Bible says to look for Jesus because Jesus is the living word. And so when the written word connects with the living word, and you're conversating with the Father, then you have a life-giving word. And so rather than rushing to fit a schedule, just take your time, even if that's only a few minutes because you're just getting started, and then it will become a habit. You'll get used to it, and that time will become precious time and not confusing time because you're engaging the Lord through his word,, but in a relationship, communication, and conversation.

Um, I want to just reiterate, um, you mentioned the Urban Alternative, which is, um, your ministry. And, um, can you still hear me okay? Just making sure.

Okay. Yep, you're clear.

Um, and people can get that— I have it on the screen for those who are watching on Facebook or, um, YouTube. It's tonyevans.org. So if you want to know more, I mean, many people, I see them in the comments saying, I listen to him every day, 6:30 in the morning, satellite radio. I mean, I see all these comments. But for those of you who may never have heard of my dad, which I think would be so crazy because so many people have, but if you haven't, tonyevans.org, you can find out where he's on the radio in your area. He's on TV. I mean, there's so many ways that you can hear from him. So I definitely want you to be aware of that. And then so many resources that are at tonyevans.org. And there's also something, let me see, I've been playing with all of my geeky things, but let me see if I can put something on the screen here. So as you read the word of God and you just need some help understanding it, check that out. It's available everywhere books are sold, but you can also get it from his ministry site, tonyevans.org. Um, when did you decide, "I think I'm gonna do a study Bible and a comment"? Like, when did that become a thing, or a desire, or a vision?

Well, 10 years ago, um, one of the publishers, uh, talked about it because I have this emphasis on the kingdom and thought that that is a kind of a unique way to approach the Bible. And, uh, of course, that had been my emphasis. And so Uh, we're in discussions with, with the publisher, with my writer. Um, we thought it might be good to see if we could tackle it. And so, uh, that led to a whole sophisticated process of accumulating, uh, what I had preached, walking through things I had not preached, uh, coagulating and putting it all together. And so, so yeah, that was That was, uh, I won't do it again, I don't think. But, uh, it took me, I mean, I'm up at night, half the night, uh, trying to get it right, rewriting things. I mean, because you have to summarize every paragraph in the Bible, and so, and to try to do it in a way that's relevant, that's clear, that's kingdom-minded. So, so all of that was, um came together and the Lord blessed it. And the publisher did a great job in putting and packaging it with different colors, different kind of covers. And, uh, so it was, uh, it was an encouraging, uh, thing to do. I'm glad it's done. But I, I'm blessed by my own, by my own commentary.

So, so am I. See, I have mine here.

Good. You probably didn't buy yours, you just probably It's one of the perks.

It's a perk.

I got you.

It's a perk. I also have something I want to show everybody this because I know that they're— they can't get it. Uh, let's see here. I'm actually bringing you on too on Instagram Live. We finally figured that out. So for those of you who are watching on Instagram, my dad is about to join me and we're about halfway through our conversation. You'll be able to catch the whole thing on Facebook and YouTube, but I want to show everybody something. So here's my Tony Evans Study Bible. There you go, Dad. Here you are. So there's my Tony Evans Study Bible. And when you, when you got your first copies of these, you, um, had some special that were made for the family. You, you had less than 20 of them, and the publisher was so kind, um, to do this. But I have y'all in my Bible, and family members we have a picture of our mother in our Bible. And then you took the time, and I think this is so sweet of the Lord, honestly, you, you dedicated these Bibles to her. So we have a picture of our family and a letter that you wrote, um, about her. And then forever, forever, forever, like, I'm afraid to use it because I don't want to mess up the Bible. Like, I feel like I need to buy an extra copy. I'm trying to get you on Instagram here. Buy an extra copy because I don't want to mess this one up. But she wrote in mine, to my beloved daughter Chrystal Hurst Hurst and my dad Tony Evans.

Yeah.

What I think is so interesting is that, um, Auntie, I can hear y'all. What I think is so interesting is that I have another Bible on my shelf. I didn't bring it up here with me, but it's a Bible with Jesus as the shepherd on the front, and you gave it to me in the 6th grade, and I still have it. I was 11 years old, and it says the same thing, "To my beloved daughter." Oh my, okay. I have these both, precious, precious, precious, precious. But, you know, I want to say this, you know, when you talked about talking to God, Um, you, you said you talked to God like we're talking, you know, and you're my dad and, um, you know, we have a great relationship, but everybody doesn't have a great relationship with their dad. So a lot of times to talk about God as a father, to have a relationship with him, you know, a lot of people struggle with that because they didn't have a father, they didn't have a good one. Um, or because they had difficulty in their relationship with their father. Yeah, I promise I'm not crying. I'm okay if I cry, but my eyes water. Dad, your eyes water a lot too, don't they? You have watery eyes sometimes.

Not that I know, but, but if you say so.

Maybe. I thought you did anyway. I thought you did anyway. Um, we're working on it, Instagram. Hold on. But, um, if they didn't have a good father or You know, they're trying to understand God as a father and they can't because their father was a— not just not a good one, he was a bad one. Uh, abusive relationships and those kinds of things. How do you then look at God when you don't have a good example of that in your life for a father? What do you— what is— what does that mean to the person who struggles with that visual?

Well, first of all, I would say, is there anybody in your circle— is there anybody in your circle who you see as a great example of being a father? Because you don't have to limit your definition of father on a human term to merely your biological father, because there are other people who can fill in that gap because of the kind of people they are. So, so, so let's broaden your— let's broaden your, uh, uh, point of reference. That's number one. But number two, in terms of understanding God as your Father, don't start with your father and transfer that to God. Start with God and transfer that back to you. You have to start at a different place, because if you're using your father as a point of reference, which I understand we're doing because that's been our human experience, then it's easy to dismiss God. Jesus came to reveal the Father. So I would tell a person practically to go through the book of John where Jesus talks a lot about his Father and about his relationship with his Father, because John 1:18 says he came to reveal the Father. So since he came to reveal the Father, see how Jesus related to the Father and then ask the Lord to show you his fatherhood, to give you the experience of his reality as your new dad, and begin to relate to him as a father, not as just as God. Now you say, I— but I don't know how to do that because I didn't have a great father. Start where you can and it will grow. It will grow. I guarantee you it will grow when you join Jesus and his relationship with his father. And make that how you pattern your communication with your Heavenly Father, the fathering of God will increase in your life.

So when somebody comes to you and they're— they are a father and they're saying, I want to be a better one, but I didn't have a model, just a practical, you know, not God is my father, but I'm a father, um, I would love for you to speak to, because I know that I know that some guys have been tuning in, which has kind of been fun. But also, I know that sometimes girls, moms, or wives share this with their sons or with their fathers. If you were going to speak to men right now about what it means to be a good father, because Dad, you're a great dad. People ask all the time, like, how do you have 4 kids in ministry who are all loving Jesus and y'all are a tight family? And one of the things I always tell them is our parents, I mean, our parents were the same at church as they were at home. My mom made sure that there was dinner around the table. We gathered together around the table. My dad played with us. He talked to us. He encouraged us. He challenged us. But when you talk about a guy who's saying, "I didn't see that modeled," if you were going to speak to men right now about what it means to give the example or be a good father, just what does that practically look like? How can you encourage that? Man who might be watching right now?

The number one thing a man can do who's serious about being a good father is take seriously the table. Psalm 128, verse 3 says, your children will be olive plants around your table. In the Bible, the table was not just for eating, it was for leading. So it's around the table, you have to eat, you turn off the competing television and competing devices. And as you eat, you lead. How do you do that? As you eat, you speak to each child, you look at them in the eye, you express value to each of the children. You give them a prayer. You pray. You don't just bless the food, but you bless the family. When they see you take spiritual leadership, which is a simple thing to do around the table, There's a devotion you can have. Me and my son Jonathan wrote a devotional that any father can use around the table, you know. So you use that table. So if you spend an hour a day around the table, you can change the trajectory of your whole family because they'll see you in a different light. Around the table, you correct bad behavior. You find out who your kids are playing with to make sure that they are, you They're not getting bad influences. You correct wrong thought. You find out how are they fulfilling their housework, their schoolwork. You lead. And when you do that, when you don't just transfer it to your wife, but when you own that responsibility. And then what I love to do, I took my kids to school most of the time. You did? That was the time when I prayed with them in the morning before they got out of school. Well, we gotta go to school anyway, so why not just use that time as opposed to just driving to talking to them. Then the other thing is get involved in their world. Don't just demand that they get involved in your world. Okay? Don't just say what's important to you, but what is important to them that's legitimate where you can involve. So I went to the ball games. I went to the—

To my track meets.

I went to your track meet. We won't say what place you came in. That's another story. But I did go to your track meet. Chrystal Hurst would be— leading in front. She'd be out in front of everybody. And then when the race was over, you couldn't locate her. So that's another story for another time. But, so being involved. So I made time to let them know I was there, even if I couldn't be there for the whole time, at least they knew that I wanted to be where they were. So the table, taking them to school, praying with them before they go to bed, Those little moments. And then using, I finally say, using teachable moments. When you see something that they can learn a lesson from, then you need to take advantage of that moment, not just skip it. You say, did you see that? Did you see what happened with that person when they did that? So using teachable moments. So you can, without a major interruption in your life except for major occurrences, You can just have strategic times to, uh, input into their lives, and that's what you can practically do to begin the process of fathering your children.

What about husbanding your children? I would love for you to think about maybe what Mom said to you, um, because she always said your dad is a great father, he's a great husband. Can you think of anything that Mom over the years said to you about why she thought you were a great husband?

Um, because I prioritized the family. Um, that prioritizing the family— nothing would come before the family. And if, if it did come before the family, she'd tell me. So a good wife is a good corrector. And so, uh, and so having that, that prioritization meant a lot to her, meant a lot to to us, and sometimes I had to pull back and readjust some things. And then my involvement— she wasn't a sports person. She wasn't into sports. I was into sports. So I made sure, you know, we were supporting our kids all the time in their various endeavors. So I took ownership for the family, and taking ownership for the family took a burden off of her. Even though she had a lot going on and was making our home just a wonderful place to be. But, uh, I think that's, those are some of the positives.

I'll tell you something that I know that she appreciated for sure. You weren't just championing, championing your kids. You were championing her, meaning you encouraged her. I mean, you know, as we were going through her things and I'm seeing, um, the classes she took, so you were encouraging her to continue to work on her. Even while you were working on you, getting your master's degree, getting your doctorate degree, she was taking classes. She was taking classes at seminary. She took historical trips. You encouraged her to do that. When we were growing up on Saturdays, Mommy was gone. She was shopping in North Dallas, grocery shopping, getting her nails done. And you encouraged her to go and take the time that she needed to refuel and refresh. You encouraged her to write books. And she would say, Tony, I don't speak like you, I don't do this. And you were like, yes, but you have stuff to say. Like, so you didn't just, as Mommy, like you said, was a great wife, great home. You know, our home, you've been there for, I guess, let me see, almost 40 years. And it is home for all of us. The meals that were cooked, the memories that were made, a lot of them she provided the environment for. But you didn't just say you're a good wife because you do all these things for us. You said to her, you're a person and I want to celebrate all the things that you should do with your life because I see the gifts in you. So you didn't just call out the gifts in your children, you called them out for your, for your wife too. And I think that's, that's important. I wanted to talk about because we were talking about fathers. I want to just share with everybody. Let me see if I can put this on the screen. You have tonight, right? It's a, it's an event for men.

Absolutely.

It's Kingdom Men Calling?

Kingdom Men Calling, yes.

Awesome. And so what is it? What is Kingdom Men Calling about?

It's challenging men in the midst of this crisis. God told the men in Exodus 34:23-24, he called all the men of Israel to gather with him. And he said, if I can get all the men to gather with me, I'll protect your land. Well, our land is in trouble. So we're making a call to men all over the nation at 8 o'clock tonight Central Time on Facebook and YouTube to join me and for a challenge and an opportunity to be, to take the leadership role in God reversing not only this virus, but reversing the negative direction of our nation. And so it's a clarion call to all men. I invite ladies to challenge all the men in your circle of influence, boys, husbands, uncles, um, and, uh, men that you are in touch with to join me at 8 o'clock tonight. And we're calling men to become kingdom men, men who operate under the sovereign rule of God. God calls men to submit to him, and when men refuse to submit to him, the repercussions are national. So some of this repercussion that we're facing is men failing to man up based on God's definition of a man, not the culture's definition of a man, to, to influence the direction of the nation. Because this crisis is serious, it's deadly, and we need divine intervention. Men should take the lead in doing that.

I also want to give you an opportunity, um, y'all, if you want to know more about that, please follow my dad on Facebook, uh, and YouTube at Dr. D.R. Tony, T-O-N-Y Evans, E-V-A-N-S. I want to encourage you to go there right now and like or subscribe so that you get notified when all of these events are happening. One other thing is happening this weekend. This is Good Friday, which means Sunday is Easter, and we've got a special production at our church, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, happening on Easter. Can you give everybody an invitation for that?

Absolutely. Easter, uh, is going to be very special. You know, churches can't meet, but But we recently went to Israel and did some footage. So we took that footage and knitted it together along with some things we did leading up to this week, and then invited Kirk Franklin to do the music. And so there'll be a special presentation at 10 o'clock on Facebook and YouTube from our church or from our church's live, uh, livestream, and then it will be repeated again at around noon from through the Urban Alternative. So you can get it at different times, but it's called The Journey, and we're going to take you through some of the key sites in Israel, give some biblical context, give you a spiritual challenge, and hear some of the great music by Kirk Franklin and his group. So it's a very, very special time this Easter.

Well, it's always a special time for me and you, uh, when I get to ask you questions. And I think my questions, you kind of roll your eyes sometimes. You're like, ah, you always want to know something.

Well, that's because they don't end. One question leads to another question that leads to another question. After a while, we're in a black hole.

But don't you think that sometimes the best thing for a person to be is curious so they can grow in their understanding and their knowledge?

Sometimes, but not all the time.

Okay, so I have questions from people. I'm going to take a few questions from our audience that's live now, but we did have some questions that some gals in the inner circle, um, had asked, and so I want to give priority to a few of those. Um, I've got to move the screen, y'all, my phone, so I can see my computer screen. So somebody said, I really wished I would have heard the, the talk that you just gave about what it means to be a godly husband and a godly mom 30 years ago? What do I do if I didn't know then what I know now? If I'm living life with a lot of regret, uh, if my children maybe don't have the relationship with God that I would love for them to have, what do I do now that they're grown and gone? How do I restore, um, or reinvest in my family in this season?

That's a great question. God can hit a bullseye with a crooked You have one of the great passages you should read that I'm sure you know about, but read it again, and that is the prodigal in Luke 15. He wandered off, he made a mess of his life, but then he woke up one day and he came back to the father. And when he came back to the father, the father not only accepted him but welcomed him celebrated him. So you can spend your time, uh, regretting yesterday, or you can have a better tomorrow on your return. And let me tell you the good news: when you return to the Father and begin to learn and apply the, the, the, the new insights that you're given about following Christ as a godly woman, godly man, um, God can give you back, Joel 2 says, the years that the locusts have taken away. So God is able to do catch-up. You know, when you're in a race and you fall behind, you can't go back to the starting block. You can't do that. But what you can do is speed up the pace. And when you speed up the pace, you can make up time that was lost in the start. So don't— so use the past as a rearview mirror. Look in it so that you learn from it, but use the future as a windshield. And when you look in the windshield, it's a much bigger piece of glass because the windshield is showing you where you're going. The rearview mirror is showing you where you've been. Learn from where you've been. But there's so much more God can do and wants to do for you as you move forward, applying what you know now and asking him to make up for the losses in the past.

Well, speaking of that, one of the questions I get most frequently, Dad, is, "What did your parents say when you told them you were pregnant?" I mean, you know, I've shared a little bit about that story here and there. In King the Woman, I talked about being a single parent, and then in She's Still There, I walked a little bit more into that and what God taught me during that season. But, you know, I didn't want to— I actually started writing that, to be honest. I have pieces of that book that didn't make it into the book, and one of them is that, me trying to describe you and mom's responses. One, because I was like, I actually need them to say that. I shouldn't say that on their behalf. But because so many people ask me that, and because you're talking about the prodigal, what did that look like practically for us? Me telling you, your oldest girl, and you always challenged me to make the most of my life. I mean, you challenged all of us, but then you specifically for me, You know, I told you one time I wanted to be a court reporter and you said, "There's nothing wrong with that, but God has given you a great brain. And so if you're going to be in the courtroom, be the judge." I mean, you had very high hopes for all of your kids, but me coming out of the gate as the first one, I know you all were very disappointed when I called and told you that. What did it look like for you as a parent to be a parent of a prodigal? How did you feel? And then what did it look like for you to embraced me even in that hard season. You're, you're part of the story.

Well, obviously there was disappointment, um, disappointment personally, disappointment parentally, disappointment ministerially. So there were those different levels of disappointment, but I still loved you. I still loved our family. And, uh, and so we were going to— we wanted to see you healed spiritually, because it was first of all a spiritual issue. There was never a relational disconnect because you are a daughter. But if we could see you healed spiritually, then we could surround you and see God take, take this situation and intervene in it, which he has graciously and gratefully done so that he could turn, he could turn disappointment into restoration and then use it. The great thing about the Lord is when we come back to him, he can, he can, he can take the, the messes we've made of our lives and still lay out something beautiful. Doesn't— it doesn't mean that no consequences or inconvenience, but it does mean that doesn't have the last word because you've reestablished things with the Father. We've seen him do that with you. So disappointment was the main thing on those different levels. But we loved you. We love the Lord. And we just would love you back to him and, and back to a wholesome future.

I will never forget, we were in Pastor Hawkins' office and we were talking to him. He's like a second dad to all of us kids. But you were in there, we were sharing with him, you know, just thinking about what that meant at the church and all that kind of stuff. But you asked me in the office, you said, is there anything that we did or I did? I don't remember if you said we or I, but is there anything that we did that we need to know about that put you in this predicament that, that, that, um, that we need to know, that we need to change. Like basically, how as I can a father either take responsibility for what's happened or change something so that if I need to father better, I can know that. And I just want you to know that that was, I think, you know, a surprising question in the moment for you to ask me. But years and years later, I think that was such a, a high integrity and character question for you to ask me that in the moment, your first thing wasn't, this is what you've done, this is what you've done to our family, this is what you've— but what, what, what about me? You know, what about me? How can I serve you? How could I have served you? How can I serve you and our other kids better? And I think that as we talk about what it looks like to be the father of a prodigal, I don't want to miss that, that beyond loving them in tangible ways in the moment, saying, "You know, here I am and I'm looking at me too." That mattered. So, I just wanted to share that because I think that may be helpful to some people who are watching or struggling with their kids because there's a lot of questions about people struggling with their kids. I see people also struggling with their marriages. But the bottom line is whether the question is like one is, "My husband and I both have Superman syndrome. How can I get my husband to understand we should take advantage of this time and slow down?" Another person says, I'm trying to take COVID-19 seriously, but my husband isn't. He's going out, he's not protecting himself, he's not sitting still. A lot of questions about how can I get my husband to— so for the women who are trying to get their husband to do something, sit around the table, take COVID-19 seriously, rest more, work more, be more engaged in their marriage, be more engaged with their kids, is there some general principle about a woman and her ability or inability to get her husband to do something that she needs to know?

Well, one thing is to let him know the wound you are carrying by his— him not doing that. You can fuss at him and say, you should, you ought to, or you can come at him from the wound. In other words, I need you to protect me. And when you go out like that without concern about social distancing, or physical distancing is a better phrase, if you bring something home and you're close to me, then you could be jeopardizing me or the kids. And you are— I'm looking to you to be my protector. Well, statements like that are ego boosters, and men love ego boosters. Because men function on their ego. Men love their ego so much they will lie to themselves to make themselves feel better. I mean, it's a bad problem, but, but it's a biblical concept. The Bible says to honor him, so go ahead and boost his ego, but in terms of your need, so that if he feels bigger as a man because he becomes your protector, then it becomes more of a motivator than a fuzzer. Okay, and then offer suggestions. One thing you can do is get him on the event tonight at 8 o'clock because we're gonna challenge men, you know, in their face about what it means to be a man. Because if you can get other men to speak into men as well, then that's helpful too. So if there are men in his life that he looks up to and respects, to invite them to encourage him or challenge him. In an appropriate way is another thing that you can do. But go ahead and boost his ego based on your need and see if you get a different response rather than condemning and fussing at him about what he's not doing.

Now, for the woman who has done that, and you know, you, you counsel marriage— married people all the time, and it's not working. I mean, so she— so let's just say that she's read your book, she's heard your messages, she's studied the Bible, she's been in church all her life, and He's not moving, he's not changing. Or I actually had another question where somebody was talking about this in their church, where there was some things that were going on in their church and they went to leadership and shared, like they did things the right way and things are not changing as a result. So what can the person who is doing those things or will start doing those things and in a year nothing has changed, the husband isn't listening, the church leaders aren't responding, how does that person move forward then? What would be your counsel to them?

Well, uh, that question could come at a lot of different levels. If he's— if he's, uh, if it gets to the level of abuse, right, then that, that's one level. The other level is, uh, less dramatic. Maybe he's just not responsible. So the level will affect the answer to that question. Obviously, uh, God calls for a man to protect his wife, not abuse her. And so you should not Unless God calls you to it, keep yourself in a threatening environment. So that, that's one thing. Now, if it's just neglect, he's just not all that he needs to be and all you thought he would be when you married him, uh, uh, then that's another level. And, and what you have to do during those times is you have to do everything you can do, because some things only God can do. And anything that should be done that he's responsible for doing that you can live without, then don't take his job from him. Remind him that this is something you need him to do. Don't try to own all his job unless it's something essential. You know, if it's something essential, then you've got to do it because you've got kids, you've got— you still got things that have to be done. But don't let him off the hook and let him know why you're not doing— I'm not doing that because, because you're the husband. God's called you to be the leader. God's called you to be responsible. And I don't want to take God's job for you away from you.

That's good.

If it's got to be done, you do it. But if it doesn't, you leave it in his hands and, and say, well, it— well, you know, the, the, the lawn is not being cut and the grass is not It's not— a lot is not being good because you haven't accepted that responsibility. And I believe that you should handle that because I'm taking care of things inside the house. So, so don't let him off the hook in a respectful way.

I love that. Um, we had somebody ask about doing communion this morning, and I wanted to just take this opportunity to reiterate that our Easter services for our church, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, are happening on Sunday morning, and we will be doing communion as a part of that service. So if you have not been able to tune in before now, Um, totally tune in on Sunday morning. It'll be a great journey with some great footage of Israel and our special guest and family member, our honorary family member, Kirk Franklin. So if you're looking for communion, um, while we're not doing that this morning, we will be doing that on Sunday morning. So join us then. So here are some, just some fun questions that people, because inquiring minds want to know, um, what would you tell your 30-year-old self if you could go back and talk to him? Marcelus on Facebook asked that question.

Oh, my 30-year-old self. Oh, for the days. I would so love to go back to my 30-year-old self. You know, I was so busy during that season building the ministry, building the church. I probably would have slowed it down some and spent more time with the Lord outside of ministry. My time with the Lord was inside of ministry. I probably would have done that more separated from ministry, just to grow that intimacy deeper than it was. I would— let's see, because I love to study, I would have done more study in— most of my study was theological study and biblical study, but I would have— I love Sociology. I love politics. I love economics. And so I love all three of those areas. So I would have become even more astute in those areas to apply the Bible to them more than, than, uh, than I got to do during that season.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Read and watch football.

Watch football. I thought you were going to say watch the news because you watch the news all the time.

I watch the news all the time, but that's a lot repeat. I, I like, but, but in terms of favorite, I would say football.

Um, I think it's interesting that reading is your favorite thing to do. You have your doctorate degree, you're a pretty, pretty smart guy, but in school, describe for people when you were in ele— because somebody's like, what kind of kid were you in elementary school, high school? Besides your love of sports, how would you have characterized yourself as a young person?

Uh, I wasn't academically inclined at all. That only happened when I went to college. So, uh, as a kid growing up, it was all sports. It was, it was football in the fall, it was swimming in the winter, and it was baseball in the spring. I lived for sports. That was my whole life. Uh, it was church and sports. That was it growing up.

Church and sports. What is your favorite thing to do with your grands and/or great-grands?

Eat. Eat, eat and talk about sports.

Who's cooking for you now? Inquiring minds want to know.

My kids are cooking for me. Elizabeth, my wife's sister, is cooking for me. And then we have certain people sometimes who will call them and ask, can they bring a meal? But that's kind of what's happening right now.

Okay, and, uh, let's see, last question. Have there— has there— it's a little bit serious. Has there ever been a time where you questioned the call of God on your life or felt like the call of God on your life was overwhelming, too overwhelming?

No, I've loved the call. I've loved the challenge of the call because I live for challenges. And so every new thing was a new opportunity and a new challenge. So I've never felt that.

And as we bring this call to a close, um, you talked about how this time is a time where God is— you're, you're seeking God and wanting God to, um, to speak to you. What has he been saying to you? I'm sure he's been saying a few things because you've had lots of different books open, but like, if you could kind of say, like, what is a culminating thought, something that the Holy Spirit has on repeat in your heart and in your mind as you seek him, what would that be?

Oh, just to— this is a season of drawing near. At 70 years old, you know, the years ahead of you are a lot less than the years behind you. And so I'm not so much focused on ministry accomplishment as opposed to relational intimacy. And so that's kind of what he's called me to right now.

Well, Dad, thank you so much for joining me.

Um, thank you, oldest daughter.

I mean, this was, this was 40— we're 49 minutes. So you were fussing about how long this is going to be. Did it feel long?

Uh, uh, no, I'm just kidding. No, it was, it was fine. I've enjoyed every minute of it. Just being in your presence just has made the rest of my day.

Well, I'll be over there later to ask you some questions.

Oh no, I'm teasing.

Okay, listen, you all, listen, I have been on live again every day for the last 3 weeks. We're gonna see what next week holds. We've been doing this week by week, and many of you have asked, where did the first 2 weeks go? Well, they still are around, but basically what this is is bonus content. I think I'm going to leave my dad's up because I think it's important that everybody everywhere sees this. But generally speaking, the bonus content is something special I do for people that are a part of my inner circle. So I want to make sure you know about two very important things. Number one is if you are interested in finding out more about that inner circle situation, then you can go to chrystalevanshurst.com/innercircle. Um, there's lots of conversations there, not just from the last three weeks, but tons of stuff from other conversations, podcasting, um, all that stuff. The other thing that you can do if you're looking for community during this time is to check out chrystalevanshurst.com/facebookgroup because we have a sister circle. The sister circle is whoever your people are, and we know that some of you are looking for people or you want online connection. And so you can check out chrystalevanshurst.com/facebookgroup, um, and we'd be happy to welcome you into the sister circle there. And last but not least, Um, the resources that we've talked about today, I'll even ask Dad maybe to share a couple of the books. In fact, answer that question, Dad. What are your, like, your top 2 books that you've read recently that you think everybody needs to know about?

That I have read?

Yes, recently. Yeah, just kind of in your— that's in your rotation here recently.

Oh, um, uh, Final Destiny, um, Operating in the Courts of Heaven. Would be two that I would recommend.

What's Final Destiny about, like end times?

Well, it includes end times, but it's much broader. It's a theological book that deals with all aspects of salvation that culminate in eternal salvation. And so that includes end times, but it's a very thick book, and I love theology, so— but it's readable.

So, okay, so I do, I do— sorry, one more question, because lots of people are like, do you think that this COVID-19 is— and I'm seeing their questions pop up— has any— is this a sign of nearing the end times? You have an opinion on that?

I certainly do. There are one of three options. One, the introduction of end times is very possible. Two, a cultural reset. The world has gotten so far from God that he's allowed this to interrupt the world to get our attention. And 3, and maybe one of the most important ones, is to wake up the church. He's gotten us out of our sanctuaries and told us, like he did in Acts 8 when he allowed trouble to come to the church to get them out of their— they were too comfortable. The church has gotten too comfortable, and now it's time for a wake-up call for the church, because God doesn't skip the church house to fix the White House.

Love it, love it, love it. All right, y'all, so, um, the links to all these things we want to share. So the most important thing you can do— there's actually 2 most important 2 important things. Number 1, make sure you're on my email list because resources, that's the only way I have to send them to you. And then 2, if you've never been to TonyEvans.org, all of my dad's resources, tons and tons and tons of materials to help you grow in your faith. Also being able to locate him where he is on radio near you, on TV. I mean, there's just so much. And of course, as we mentioned before, the awesome, awesome, awesome commentary. Tony Evans Study Bible and Commentary are available while they are available everywhere books are sold. So many more of his resources, including those, are available on tonyevans.org. Okay, Dad, thanks for joining me. I'll let you get to the rest of your day. Love you.

Love you too. Bye.