Grace for the Race with Chrystal Evans Hurst

Hey there, it's Chrystal Hurst, and I'm so glad that you are either watching me or listening to me. It is 2024, and I'm so excited for the podcast to be beginning again. Now, if you've been on the podcast end, listening on Apple or Google or Spotify or Pandora, it's been like radio silent there. If you are on YouTube, then you're like, Chrystal, you've never left. Well, see, what had happened was I was sharing some repurposed video content on YouTube, So there really wasn't any new content coming out, but it is 2024 and all things are new. I'm so grateful to be back with you sharing currently recorded content from myself or interviews with sisters or brothers that are joining the Sister Circle to have great conversations. I wanted to give you a couple of updates about what's happening this year so that you will know what to expect. First and foremost, if you're on YouTube, did you know you can just listen in your podcast player and be automatically notified when new audio podcasts come out? If you're listening, did you know that you could watch on YouTube? And be notified when there's new videos that come out. You know, cross-pollinate yourselves. I also want to let you know that this year I've decided to cut back. So instead of 2 episodes a week, I will be releasing 1 episode a week. Sometimes it'll be me, myself, and I in the circle, and other times it will be me joined by an amazing guest. In fact, I've got a few amazing guests coming up, I think, in the lineup in the next week or 2. I got Michael Todd coming, so be sure and tune in. Again, I'm so grateful to be with you, and there are many things happening this year that I wanna make sure you know about. So if you are not already subscribed to my email list, oh, listen, honey, you need to do that right now. Go to chrystalevanshurst.com, and right below my picture, you'll see a spot to put your first name and your email. I would love to stay in touch with you and share things that I really do believe will bless your life. If you're new here, welcome. Glad you made it in. Grab your cup of coffee, your cup of tea, your iced whatever, your water, your lemon, whatever it is. Sip it, listen in, and enjoy. And remember this: whatever 2023 held, whatever you're hoping comes in 2024, you get to choose. Every day when you get up, it's a new day, and you get to choose who you're going to be. You get to choose the decisions that you'll make to engage with those in your world. You get to choose to do hard things. You get to choose to try again. As long as you are still living, you get to choose. And my hope is listening or watching the content that I create will help you do just that each and every day. All right, y'all, ready to hear it? It's 2024. Yes, F-O. Here we go. Glad you're here, y'all. Hey there, my name is Chrystal Hurst. Chrystal Evans Hurst, and if you're here for the first time, thank you for being here and you are welcome. I'm so glad that you showed up in this space. I am currently right now in my Inner Circle Monday morning 7 AM get-together where all the fun and the foolery is happening. While the doors to the Inner Circle for our growth core levels are closed, there is one level that is always open and you are welcome to join me there. You can go to thesistercircle.com/innercircle and check out the club. Uh, the club level allows you to join on Monday mornings for the fun and foolery and also for some teaching that I think will bring value to your life. I'd love for you to join the chat because the chat is where it's at. But this morning I am talking to the Inner Circle and I am now talking to you whenever you're watching about what it takes to set your pace. It is the beginning of the year. We are 2 weeks in and you probably already figured out that certain things that you intended to do starting on January 1st, you are either no longer doing or you're not doing at the pace that you wanted to. You were intending intending to read a book a year and you are only halfway through chapter 1 of that book that you started. You were intending on eating better, but you still haven't even fully cleaned up your Christmas tree. You're not out of Christmas mode yet. You were intending to declutter, but that office door has still remained locked and closed because you just can't deal with it until you can deal with it. One of the worst things you can do for yourself is set a goal, set a plan, set a direction in motion, and then feel like you have failed yourself because you had a pace in mind that you couldn't actually start well or continue well. Setting your pace is how you actually finish the race. Lots of people can start, fewer people will finish, and most people that run a race well, they are also students of their own pace. When I ran a marathon, which I don't know if I'll ever do that again, I think I will run maybe a half, definitely will run a 5K, getting ready for one right now. I knew by my body signaling me when I was running too slow, I was running too fast, or I was running just right. And there was an ebb and a flow between those. Sometimes I would run a little faster, increasing my pace to maybe get up a hill or take advantage of a downhill scenario and let that increase my pace for me. Sometimes I would slow my pace because even while I was still running, I was catching my breath. But I kind of knew— I'm a slow runner— I kind of knew that I was somewhere between an 11 and 13-minute mile. So not a 10, not a 9, not an 8. 12 was good for me, but I had to learn my pace by running. One of the things that is a part of maturity is learning your pace. How do you learn your pace? You learn it by running, by entering enough races, having enough goals, having enough things in your life that you love or intent on crossing the finish line for. That you learn your pace. You have to just get out there and do the thing. But a lot of people will go to do something, whether they're going to the gym for the new year, or they are making new food, or they are trying to read more books, or they are running a race, or they're trying to declutter their finances. And because you're so energized, you start too fast. Have you ever watched a race? Maybe it was at the Olympics, or maybe it was on your high school track team where Somebody would have an early start before they start the gun. Somebody would jump out of the starting blocks too soon and they would, you know, call it and they'd have to go back and start over. Everything in them was so primed to start, they jumped out of the starting blocks too fast. And you can only do that so many times before you're disqualified in the race. If you're gonna start well, you have to start on time. But as a distance runner, y'all, I was a 400-meter, 800-meter track runner in high school. You would start out and you'd want to give yourself a good start, but then you'd have to find a pace that you could maintain while you were in the middle of the run, because you'd have to have something left for the end. Knowing your pace is comprised of knowing your rhythm, the rhythm of your breath. It is knowing your body. It's knowing how your body feels when it's getting enough oxygen. It is knowing your stamina, because you have to be able to keep up whatever you're doing for a certain length of time. And in the same way, we have to know our breath. We have to know what does it look like for the rhythms of our life to give us enough air to breathe. That is a matter of starting and stopping. It's a matter of resting and moving. You have to know what the rhythms of your life are. How long can you go without having a deep study of God's word before you feel disconnected to God? When is the best time for you to inhale time with the Lord and exhale your time in communication with him in prayer? When is the best time for you to inhale your breakfast, literally, or your lunch? What works for your body? What is the best time to inhale conversation, relationship, connection with the people that are under your roof and to exhale, to take that outside of your home? How often is too often for you to meet with a friend for coffee or to serve at your church? What are the rhythms of your life that give you breath where you're not having to think hard about your breathing. If you start having to think about, "Ooh, okay, I gotta catch my breath. I'm breathing, but I gotta catch my breath," that means that there's exertion happening. And exertion that's happening in your life is not bad. It's just not maintainable. There is a certain level of exertion in my body when I realize that, girl, the amount of breath that you're having to deep in breathe and exhale deeply is a matter of the level of exertion that you're expending in your life. And while that is doable for a short part of my run and a short part of my life, it's not a part of my rhythm. So you have to know what your rhythms are. Setting your pace involves knowing yourself and knowing where your boundaries are. When is it just too easy and you don't ever feel like you doing nothing? Then you're probably doing too little. When does it feel like, oh my gosh, I can't find a space on my calendar? Then it means you're probably doing too much. Pacing involves knowing your rhythms. It also involves knowing your race. I've got to know when I start something that I've got to put some energy into it, but I've predetermined how long that level of exertion is going to last so I could settle into my pace. You do have moments where you got to put a little bit more into it. You know, like some of you see a counselor. And you know that I'm going to journal every day, I'm going to read books, I'm going to pray. But once a month, man, I pick up the pace. Most people peter out because they don't know their pacing. They don't peter out because they don't start. They don't peter out because they don't want to do better. They don't peter out because they don't do the research and what to do. They don't peter out because they have a lack of information. They peter out because they didn't pace themselves. So you have to know the boundaries of your exertion, what's too much and what's too little. And what's the rhythm of that? If you said, for this year, I'm going to get better with my health, let's say that's one of your goals. Let's say specifically you want to lose weight. Yeah, spend the first week deciding what you're going to eat, making the meal plan, getting the books, doing the magazines. But then after that, you need to relax into something. And most of the time, the reason why when I've done the Fat Demon Challenges, I start them so slow and so simple is because most of the reason why people don't develop sustainable patterns is because they do too much and they can't keep that up all the time. As soon as life enters, then all of a sudden they're falling off because they didn't have a structure for doing too much with their new weight loss program and doing homework with their kid. They didn't have a structure for doing too much with their weight loss program and the project that they would have at work, or the thing that would come at church, or the thing that would need be needed in their home. So knowing your points of exertion and then deciding to live in the middle, which normally means at this time of year, you slow down. And I've been talking about in the Thrive Series that I've been putting on YouTube and on Instagram, these principles of thriving. Thriving is not running at full speed all the time. Thriving is knowing how to rev up when it's time to rev up, how to maintain an even pace when it's time to do that, and when to slow down when you need to catch your breath. And it's the working of those that brings balance. Balance is a misnomer. It is not static. You don't achieve balance in your life and nothing ever changes. Balance is more like a rectangular-shaped glass box that has water in it, and then you're standing on a BOSU ball— you know, those balls where you have to keep your balance— so the water is always sloshing around. But what you're doing to move to keep that water as still as you can is activating your core to move according with the changes in the environment. Balance is not it never changes. Balance is in paying attention to what's happening so that you are proactively reacting to the shifts that are happening in your life. So what this looks like for me is last night, it's been a rough weekend, uh, Wonderful, but rough. It's been a lot, right? What this looks like for me is last night I roasted marshmallows with my children. We watched Black Cake. We skipped the bad part. We talked through the bad part. But then, y'all, the fireplace was going. And I have been running in and out of my house for days. So I got a blanket. We have arranged that Costco couch in the living room with two old chairs. One of those old chairs is a— old recliner we bought off of Facebook. And I got one of my favorite blankets, and I said, I'm just going to stay here in this recliner for a little bit and enjoy the fireplace. And then I overslept because I needed that. I, I, I just needed to enjoy watching the fire crackle and burn. Now, the beauty of things, if you're 20s or 30s, and I'd love to know, where are my millennials and Gen Zers? Give me a fist bump if you're in the room. One of the major things that you can do is know what your soul needs. And the beauty of being young is this, it's a discovery. If you feel exerted, you need to ask yourself two questions. One is, what did I do to get here? And is this some— does this indicate I need to stop or do I need to grow? And often that comes by other people's external input to your life. When life is hard and you're like, I just want to quit. I don't want to be married anymore. I don't know why I had this many kids. I don't know why I thought this job was a good idea. Oh my goodness, what am I going to do with my finances? I don't know if I'll ever get out of debt. When you're in those situations and it feels like you're exerting more than what you want, that's where wise counsel helps. Because you can look at someone else and tell them how bad it is, and they can say, girl, don't worry, you're going to make it. I remember that season. Because some things are just a part of the seasonal life. Hey, Maritza Guerrero and Jernaline, Chrystal B, glad y'all are here. Hi, Amanda Louise. That's where external influence will come. When I first was running with a group, Luke's Locker, it's a store in Dallas. They used to have running clubs. They don't anymore. But I was so grateful. I would show up at a place, at a location 30 minutes from my house and run into the sunrise. It was beautiful. And when I would say, I just don't know why I can't break a 12-minute mile, you know, I try and it's just too hard and maybe I'm just a slow runner. And they would give me tips. She said, oh no, here's what you need to do to increase your capacity. 'Cause the exertion that you're feeling is just because you're a new runner and you are expanding literally the capacity of your lungs. It is possible, but the exertion point is just showing you where there's room for growth. And sometimes only external people can speak into that because they know what you don't. This is why it's so important for you to be in the room of whatever situation you're in, whether it's motherhood or literally you're racing, or it's at work, for you to find somebody else to just say, hey, listen, I want to grow. I want to expand my capacity, but I'm feeling a little worn out right now. I'm feeling like I can't breathe. I'm feeling like this pace I can't maintain. What do I need to know that you know? What do I need to know that you know? So for me, I know my points of exertion when it comes to physical exertion or mental exertion or soulful exertion. I know that I don't have the capacity then to be available to pour into my children. I know I don't have the capacity to have long conversations with friends. I know it because someone will text me and they will say, hey girl, I want to have a talk with you. And then I will see their text and I'll be like, I can't right now. I just can't. I don't have the capacity. I've put out too much. And then I have to ask myself, hey, Jotty, millennial. And then I have to ask myself, am I here because this is just a part of my life, or am I living my life at a pace that means I'm not leaving room for the things that are actually most important? The only way, the only way that you can know yourself if you have overexerted yourself, the only way is if You check your pulse. Y'all remember Target Heart Rate? Target Heart Rate says, here is for my age where I should be with my heart rate. If my heart rate is too much above my target rate for my age, I need to make sure I'm okay. There's a space in which you're in the red and it's not okay. So you learn how to check your pulse. That's the only way you can do it yourself. I mean, apart from just noticing if you're out of breath, You check your pulse because there is actually a way to live based on the season of life that you're in. So the pulse looks like, I love people, why am I putting down my phone? The pulse looks like I actually want to create memories with my kids, so why am I not playing the game? The pulse looks like I'm having brain farts, I can't finish a thought because I need rest. The pulse looks like I'm dehydrated and I know it because my lips are dry. Where's my water? I haven't made room to get my water. Am I doing too much? The pulse looks like, I don't know what's for dinner tonight, because when I am living at a pace that's sustainable, I have meal planned and I actually know what's going to be on the table for dinner tonight. The pulse looks like I went to go get milk to make some hot cereal for my children and there's no milk in the fridge because I actually wasn't paying attention to what was in my fridge or not. The pulse looks like there are certain ways I want to live my life and they are not happening the way they would happen. If I were at the right pace. I have to check my pulse. So that's why you have to know what pace and what pulse work for you in this season, which means you have to look at your life. The whole reason why, you know, in the planner I put the questions in there every week is because we will write down all the things we have to do, but then we won't pay attention to how we are. You know, are we smelling the roses? Are we doing the things that we really want to do? And we just go from week to week checking boxes and not going, how's my community? How's my relationship with Jesus? How's my relationship with my husband? How's my relationship with work? Where are my hobbies? Have I done my hobbies recently? Because in order for you to have this balanced life, things are going to come at you that are going to throw your equilibrium off. Your husband's going to get a new job. You know, you're going to get a promotion at work. And so your work-life balance is going to shift. You're gonna go to the doctor and find out your thyroid is off. So you're gonna have to take a step away from all the things that you were doing before at the same pace to learn how to take care of your body in this new season. Your body is going to change whether you like it or not. And so setting your pace and resetting your pace and being committed to a pace that's sustainable means every time something changes, and it will change, you check your pulse. How am I doing at home? How am I doing at work? How am I doing with money? How am I doing with my time? How am I doing with my people, with community? How am I doing with the Lord? How am I doing with studying the word, praying? How am I doing with those things? Because if those pillars are not at a solid, consistent level in my life, here's what you won't do. You won't finish the race. Hey there, I hope what you're hearing so far is encouraging you in your journey, but there's one little thing I want you to know about out. I have been asked for a long time to share content that will help leaders. People ask me to coach. People say, how do you do it? How do you manage your team? How did you build? What do you do to get your finances in order? How do you grow? How do you develop vision? All of that. So I'm going to have a concentrated time where I'm pouring into leaders. It's going to be April 24th through the 26th in Waco, Texas, somewhere near close to Magnolia. I've only got spots for a few. And if you want to join me in person, and not just me but other women who you can learn from, for a very intimate leadership growth opportunity, go to chrystalevanshurst.com. Make sure you're on my email list and then look for news coming soon about the retreat. All right, y'all, let's get back into it. If I exhaust myself at a pace that I actually cannot maintain, I won't finish the race or I'll hurt myself. So there's nothing wrong with shooting out strong. There's nothing wrong with being excited about starting the new diet plan or excited about the new job or being excited about your new marriage or being excited about being a new mom. You know, when I think about new moms and all the things— my Aunt Bernice, her daughter's name is Clarice. Aunt Bernice is the one with the glasses. Her daughter's name is Clarice. Clarice is a new mom. Clarice is a new mom. She's single, but she's been fostering kids. And she's had one baby since the baby was 4 years old. That child is now 4 years old, and she just got to adopt her. It's beautiful and amazing. But you want to know what? She's a new mom, and she's kind of freaking out about every little thing. And we're trying to give her the space to have her freak out. But we all just looking at her like, OK, you're not going to be able to keep that up. Because new moms do all these things with those first babies, right? Because they want to do it right. So they come out of the gate sprinting. And we're looking at them like, that's cute that you change them every time they have a little spit-up on them. After a while, you're gonna cut that out. We know, we know what the pace is. This is why wise counsel in your life is so important. My grandmother used to say, well, if your husband wants to help, let him help. Because if you teach him that you're going to do everything because you want to be the most amazing wife ever, you're not going to be able to keep that up when your first child comes, and then your husband will be spoiled. And then he'll have to relearn how to be an independent human being, you know, to some degree. She was like, let him help. Let him do it. And then don't critique him when he does. Just let him do it. Because so many times we start things at a pace we cannot maintain. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about the last time you were out of breath in your life, the last time you thought you were going to have a nervous breakdown, the last time you thought you weren't able to get out of bed. The last time you stayed away from church for a while, the last time you didn't talk to your friends, the last time you were in debt, the last time that you didn't finish a goal, the last time you gained the weight that you put back on. I want you to think about when is the last time that you had a goal and you flaked on yourself, you got overwhelmed, you exited the building. I want you to think about that. And I want you to ask yourself, with hindsight now being your friend, because the gift of time is your friend. The gift of hindsight is your friend. I want you to look back and I want you to ask yourself, what did I learn from that? What did I learn about starting too fast at a pace I could not maintain? How would I do it differently? Because the goal, not just for weight, we hear this all the time with weight. Well, you know, I don't want to just lose weight. I want it to be a lifestyle. Okay, great. You want everything to be a lifestyle. If you say, my husband and I are now going to go out on a date once a week, but your budget can't hold that, that's not going to last. If you know that with your kids' schedules, you know you're going to have interruptions with basketball or football or the volleyball game, don't set yourself up for destruction. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Ask yourself, what did I learn about myself the last time? And what is a pacing that's sustainable this time? So I can talk to you all day long about how to set goals. I can talk to you all day long about setting up your pillars and your focus. I can talk to you all day long about breaking that into 90-day goals and goals that are SMART and achievable. You know, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. I can talk to you all about the personality test, how you move through this world. I can talk to you about journaling. I can talk to you about talking to yourself. I can talk to you about prayer. I can talk to you about gratitude. I can talk to you about memorizing scripture. I can talk about how do you manage your to-dos, how do you break things down. I can talk to you about project planning. I can talk to you about all the things, getting your money right, debt snowballs. Like, we can talk about all that, but at the end of the day, If you're not aware of who you are and what your pulse should be, everything you start will fail. If you don't know how to set a solid, sustainable pace, everything you start you won't finish, because no race can be run if you use all your energy at the front end of it. I want you to have life well lived, and that will only happen if you're running at the speed that you can maintain. So in order to set your pace, you need to look at your life, and a good indicator of future performance is looking back at past performance. I used to be in money management, and we would always give that caveat: past performance is no indication or guarantee a future performance, but we sure did look back. We sure— we— there are certain things you can know. We know what happens in an election year in the stock market. We know what happens at the beginning of the year. We know what happens after an election. We know what happens at the beginning of the summer. The markets are slow. Things kind of get stagnant. We know what happens when quarterly releases, financial releases come out. We know to look at other international markets to see what their markets are doing because On the other side of the world, their stock markets open before ours do. We know that even though past performance doesn't guarantee future performance, it sure is an indicator to look at. If you want to know what is possible for increase in your future, in your life, in your emotions, with your weight loss, in your marriage, in your mind, on your job, past performance is indicative of that. One of the counsels that I have received is that when, when hiring someone, look at their track record. And let me tell you something, I, I argued with this lady because I said, well, it's COVID, you know, and so if somebody's had a job here for 12 months and a job here for 18 months and a job here for 9 months, it's just COVID, you know, people were moving and, you know, they had to— it was, you know, they couldn't work in that environment. And she said, I'm keeping my standard. Her standard is 5 years. She does not hire anyone who does not have a 5-year track record. And I said, well, then that means you probably are never hiring anyone under 35. And she said, so be it. Her current right-hand person, her current right-hand person in a marketing job, y'all, had a 5-year tenure and a management role at Sonic. And she said if she can manage a team at Sonic, manage the customers at Sonic, manage the complaints, manage people who are hourly, who are not necessarily always committed to their job, if she can manage there, She can help me manage here. I'll just— I just need to know that she's a hard worker. I'll teach her everything she needs to know. And I said, well, I don't think you're right. So I've gone out there and sometimes dealt with people, interns, contractors, or even employees who have a short-term track record. Guess what I've learned? Past performance is no guarantee of future performance, but it sure is an indicator. It is wise of you to go back and look. What does your performance in the past tell you about what you need to adjust or plan for in the future? Or where does your past performance tell you you need to expand? Where you just say, I just need to be the kind of person who's doing this, and I'm going to plant here until I can develop my capacity to do it. Running now is not as hard as me beginning running years ago. When you first start running, it doesn't matter if you're a marathoner or if you're just getting going, the first mile is the hardest because your body is like, oh, I went from a state of being still to a state of being active. And your body, your heart is trying to keep up with supplying all of the blood that your body needs to keep going. Okay. And so you feel that angst for the first mile, and it doesn't matter if you're a marathoner or if you're new. However, as you run more and you realize that a first— the first mile is a part of the beginning of the run, it doesn't bother you anymore. I know every time when I run now, not only does the first mile not bother me, but also getting back to the 5K, is not as hard as it was the first time. So if you've fallen out of the habit of paying attention to your pace, if you once ran but you stopped, if you were once respectful of your husband but you got tired, if you were once available for friends but you became a hermit, if you were once interested in work and you just slid into apathy, you can resurrect that. If you wanted to go get the degree and you gave up on it, if you want to do any of those things and it just seems hard and it just sounds, ugh, it's just been so— I waited too long. It's just too hard to start again. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know. It's always hard to start the things that matter, but if you started once, you can start again and you have some muscle capacity built up, some lung capacity built up that you will resurrect when you restart. Start or start again, begin or begin again, but realize that every time you start, you are borrowing from your past patterns. And here's the good news, your past capacity. When you start over, don't feel bad if you started the 30-day, the Whole30, and then you lost the first 10 and then you gained back 12. Guess what you already know? You know the pattern of the Whole30. Start with that. You don't have the same starting pattern that somebody who never researched anything. You have the book already. It's on your shelf. Start there. You've already shortcut the beginning of the journey. You've already made the setting of your new pace not as hard as it is for somebody who's new. Give yourself some credit. Set your pace. Okay? Yeah, stretch it out. It'll be hard to breathe sometimes, but decide what is maintainable. Pay attention to your pulse and ask other people around you how they maintain their pace. So this is me telling you to set all the goals, to get all the pillars together, to get your planners, This is me telling you to start something new. Get excited about 2024, because y'all know there's more in 2024. We've beaten that dead horse, aren't we? But as you do it, think about what your pace can be. Look at your life. Make sure you have room for that. Be sure that you give yourself grace when you realize that you misjudged your pacing. And pay attention. How do you feel every day when you end your day? How do you feel when you begin it? What's happening in your body at the end of the week? How much recovery time do you need? Because, you know, when you're setting your pace in a run, there's a certain amount of recovery time. Beyond that, you did too much. Take a deep breath and notice if you're a 10-minute miler, a 12-minute miler, or 15-minute miler. You know what those all get if they finish? A medal. A medal. So welcome to 2024. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're watching. I'm glad you're listening. I'm glad you're here in 2024, starting whatever it is that you want to begin. But I also want to encourage you in motherhood, in marriage, at work, in the new book reading goal with your desire to start your podcast, write your book, to get out of debt, to change jobs, to get your emotional health together. You don't have to just because you decided to get a therapist find her or him tomorrow. You can take your time and look and interview and ask for referrals. Like, you didn't just get to 2024 without perusing 2023. And you get to bring all of those past years with you into 2024. 2024 is new. You're not. So you get to teach 2024 who you are and pick a pace that 2024 will accept because you're teaching 2024 who you are and what you're going to do. Here's to setting your pace, girls, so that you can finish the race.