How to Travel Lightly

Do you struggle with overpacking? Listen, I am a consummate overpacker. I pack all the things I think I'm going to need, and then I'm mad that my luggage is too heavy. Well, not only will I give you some tips for overpacking today, but I'm also going to talk to you about what this has to do with your life. Hey there, thank you so much for joining me for another episode of the Sister Circle Podcast. I'm your host, Chrystal Evans Hurst, and I'm here to tell you some things I think will help you to live your life well. I don't want to talk fluff. I don't want to talk cryptically. I want to tell you like it is. Um, sometimes I do that by myself, sometimes I do that with a guest, but I'm always trying to make sure I tell you like it is because life is too short. Life is too short to be talking in cryptic terms and trying to be put together. People need to know glory glory how to live well and how to live right. So That's what I want to do for you on today. I just want you to know that normally I pack a Samsonite large travel-on, that anyone who picks it up, anyone who picks it up, whether that be the Uber driver who puts it in the car, my sons who take it to the car, the gentleman on the plane who wants to help me with my bag, the event host that may pick me up if I'm going to speak in a certain city. Anybody that touches my bag says, girl, do you have bricks in here? Oh my gosh, what are you carrying? Whoa, what is in this bag? Because I make it fit and I pack the most. I pack my clothes, but clothes are never my problem. It's actually the other things that are a problem, because I'm gonna wear a t-shirt and yoga pants most times I travel, or I'm going to wear a black muumuu most times I travel. But packing options of clothes, I will pack a few more than what I need because what if I get there and don't feel like wearing this? So, you know, 2 or 3 outfits, but 2 or 3 in a carry-on, that's not a problem. The problem is all the things I might need. I might need this candle, I might need this, uh, blood pressure wrist cuff, I might need this speaker because what if I want to play music in the room, I might need this foot pumice. Yes, because I never have time to use the foot pumps at home, so maybe I'll have time when I'm sitting in the hotel room. I might need this extra battery pack. Oh Lord, how many extra connecting cables do I need? I might need those. I might need 50,000 million panty liners. What about the extra batteries, you know? What about the extra batteries? Oh, you know, I'm gonna pack this snack, this actual bucket o' nuts that are in the bottom of my bag. And oh Lord, don't forget your Bible. And Chrystal, you don't have a thin line Bible. You got a full honking size great Bible that you want to leave to your grandchildren, that you carry with you every time you speak. Oh, don't forget the books, because even though you're gone for 36 hours, you might read 3. This is my problem. It is the what if of packing, and the what if gives me in trouble. So the secret to packing light is to pack what you need. So I recently went on a trip to Europe, and I was so stressed out because I was requested to come with a group with a carry-on bag. What? I can barely make it in a carry-on bag for a 36 or 48-hour trip. You want me to join you for 7 days in a carry-on? Can't do it. No can do. No bueno. Can't do it. But it was requested, so I made the best effort. Let me tell you something. I watch travel videos. There are a million travel videos on YouTube about carrying light tell you exactly what to pack. And I'm so grateful. I watched a lot of those and got lots of great tips of what to pack and how to pack and all the things. But I was so stressed out because all I could think is, I don't pack light. I don't pack light. Then on top of all of this, I was reminded that my Samsonite carry-on luggage, the Armage 2 I believe is what I have, and it's like a tank, that actually one of the, the spinner wheels on the bottom of the luggage was actually— it was still rolling, but I was working so hard to move that bag through the airport. And so I was like, oh my goodness, I don't want to take that bag with me to Europe because it's not going to be a great experience. I'm not going to enjoy rolling this bag that is hard to roll through all the things. So I was like, you know what, just go get a carry-on. So I went to Target and try a hard case. She asked me to get a hard case, so I got a hard case. I brought that thing home, I looked at that thing, and I was just like, what am I gonna do with you? You know what I mean? It's like, it's like if you're a big girl looking at a little man, you just be looking at him like, what am I going to do with you? When I, when I bring all the fullest fullness of me to the fullness of you, you might not be able to handle all of this. That's what, that's what I was looking at that luggage, thinking. Listen, y'all, I printed the packing list. People have downloadable pack— I gave away my email Yes, please God, tell me how to pack. I was so stressed. I bought packing cubes, y'all. I saw this one travel planner, uh, talking about all the little things she had in her bag. Did you know that there were laundry detergent sheets? Now I know, and I bought them. Did I use them? No, but I had them. Who, who is— what have I ever traveled with a first aid kit? But I ordered it. I ordered a little single paddle, a single packet antibiotic and Neosporin packets with Band-Aids and put my little travel kit together. What have I ever traveled with? A sewing kit. I have sewing kits, I never travel with them, but the international people said travel with a sewing kit, so I put my little stuff. Oh my word, the clothes were not the problem. All of my clothes, while tightly, fit inside of the suitcase. Um, and all of my little extra little things and my toiletries, no problem. It was the extra bag that got me. So let me just share a couple of quick tips for packing lightly. Roll your clothes, packing cubes. I think it's kind of a zero-sum game. Packing cubes do allow you, if you buy compression packing cubes, to probably save just as much space as rolling your stuff, but it keeps your bag organized. Organized. So think about this: you go through the security gate and they need to rifle through your bag. If you have packed in packing cubes, then you are able to more easily put things back, okay? It also allows you to stay organized. You know where your, uh, your, your personal items are, you know where your dressy shirts are, you know where your pants are, and you've been able to shrink down that jacket if you had a little puffy jacket into a nice little flat package. A vacuum-sealed packing would also do. So one side of my suitcase was rolled, the other side was packing cubes, and I actually really enjoyed both. The packing cubes gave me the space, the rolled gave me space and visibility and also access, easy access. So I had t-shirts and some items on one side, and then I had all of my pants and my personal items and my dressier items on the other side, zippered in. When you are carrying on luggage, there are so many nooks and crannies for all the things— your sewing kit or your socks, um, you know, you put your socks in your shoes, you, you basically just put— make things as tight as you can, and then you use all the nooks and crannies for everything else. The clothes were not the issue. I was able to get into the clothes, and I was able to think through my clothing. I literally thought through what I was going to wear every day. I laid it all out, and then I said, how can I consolidate? Like, basically, if every day to wear around town I'm going to wear a pair of jeans twice, I'm only taking one pair of jeans. If I need a pair of black pants, I'm only taking one black pair of pants. So really, the goal was to have 2 days, 2 to 3 days short of what I actually thought I would need in terms of tops and 2 to 3 bottoms. Um, only packing 2 shoes because the plan is if you're going to be traveling internationally and you're not doing this in, you know, you plan to be there longer, you can wash. So you really are only thinking about your needs for a week. You want to think in layers because of course you, if you're traveling Europe and you're doing multiple locations or you just want to be prepared, you You want to have thin layers that are easy to take on and take off. Jeans are actually one of the worst things to travel with unless you're wearing them because they're thick. But like a thinner pant or a hiking pant with pockets, leggings, t-shirts, long flowing things that then you can layer on with a very thin jacket or even like a sleeveless puffer coat. Like all of these are things that are amazing. The list that I had, y'all, I literally could follow it to a T. I made some, some tweaks, but mostly tees, a couple of long shirts, one pair of pajamas, one pair of hiking pants, two pairs of shorts— I didn't pack shorts— one pair of leggings, one dress just in case I wanted to look nice, six underwears, one warm sock, two normal socks, a couple bras, uh, a menstrual cup if you know what that is. That's better than walking with a bunch of pads. This is easy. One sweatshirt, one warm coat, one rain jacket— definitely the rain jacket— one hat, one pair of gloves, then a list of toiletries. I was good on all of that. It's the miscellaneous that gets me in trouble, because beyond the toiletries, you know, and beyond the laundry sheets, I brought thank you notes and pens that I didn't use. Um, I decided at the last minute I didn't have room for a water bottle, but I did make room for the gum and the face masks. Why? Because I don't know. I did make room for a packable day backpack. I did take minimal jewelry. I did take some sunglasses, but I lost them. This is why I can't buy sunglasses, like really nice ones, because I always lose them. Here's what got me in trouble. The laptop, the cords, the iPad. Why did I need both? The books, my Bible. I could have watched or listened or looked at my Bible digitally on my iPad or my phone. Um, the headphones, the 3 versions of headphones, because who knows what kind I want to use. The camera, not my phone, but the full honking camera that I'm using to record right now. Selfie sticks, travel chargers, of course my passport, but also the books that I was going to read. Books, plural, as if I'm not going to Europe to see the scenery versus read the book. The makeup bag, the everything bag, you know, the everything bag that has your hand sanitizer in it and your lotion and your lip chap and oh, the yellow Post-it notes just in case you want to take notes and oh, the portable little fan, like that whole thing. Yeah, and what if I lose these earrings? So I brought extra earrings, and then I brought an extra battery pack. And oh yeah, who knows if I'm gonna need to dump things on my hard drive because my computer might get full of my pictures, so I brought an extra hard drive. You know, glasses, multiple pairs. It was the stuff, the extra things, the extra batteries for my camera. It was the stuff. It was my whole 90-pound cord that goes with my computer. It was the stuff. It was the bag o' pens, because what if I wanted to journal and use different colors? That was stupid. Bring 3 pens. Hotels have pens. It was the stuff. So as I'm coming out of the Heathrow Airport to catch my connecting flight to Brussels, which was a whole situation, y'all, I came out and I wasn't really sure which direction to go, so I started in one direction and then needed to pivot quickly because I realized I was going the wrong direction. And I took my bag, the carry-on that was packed wonderfully with the heavy duffel that was on top, and I tried to pivot. The carry-on came with me, the duffel bag didn't. So the duffel bag kind of fell off of the top of the carry-on. When the duffel bag, heavy as all get out, fell off the top of the duffel bag Everything kind of fell down, and when I picked the carry-on back up with the handle, I bent the handle. Because y'all, my carry-on luggage came from Target, okay? So now I'm trying to mosey through Europe with a broken handle, you know, getting on and off of trains and on and off of, of, of, in and out of taxis and all the things with a handle that don't want to go down. Not because my luggage was heavy, but because my carry-on was heavy with all the extra things. Most of which I didn't need. I ended up packing some extra clothes, most of which I didn't need. I ended up packing an extra pair of shoes, heavy shoes. Note to self: don't pack heavy shoes. I packed two, but they were heavy. And then I packed Crocs. I didn't need Crocs. Like, those are three larger than needed shoes. You pack smaller tennis shoes. Maybe one boot and one smaller tennis shoe, but not two— a boot and a big thick sole Converse. So when I missed my flight— wasn't my fault, we had a technical error, but they couldn't fix it in time— when I missed my flight from Heathrow to Brussels and I was trying to get to my family, that was the whole point of the trip, getting to get to go to Germany with my family. I packed light. I bought a new suitcase. I washed. I thought. I made lists. I checklisted. I ordered things from Amazon that I didn't even use. I tried to consolidate. I learned how to use packing cubes. But then, because the duffel bag was the last thing that I packed and I was hurrying, when I got there, I started throwing things in the duffel bag and overdid it. Overdid it. When I was rushing because I was late, or I missed the flight from Heathrow to Brussels. The luggage was a burden. And then very clearly I could see all the things that I had packed that I didn't need, but I had to carry them because now I'm on the trip. And what am I going to do, mail the stuff back home and pay a million dollars to do that? So here's what I want to tell you about overpacking. Number 1, unless you are going to the depths of the Amazon forest, if you realize that you will need it and you didn't pack it, you can probably buy it. Number 2, think through every day what you'll need. Need, not want. Need. Because if you're taking a trip and the trip has value You don't want the things you want to burden you down, because as soon as you have to carry them with you everywhere, you will regret overpacking. Because even though you may not use them, you have to carry them everywhere you go. Take your time and lay out day by day what your needs will be. Think about the variation in the weather. Think about the variation in your itinerary. Think about the variation in who you'll be with. But think about how you can purpose and repurpose, because nobody cares if you wore it yesterday. Nobody cares. And if you wore it yesterday and if it's truly stinky because you, like, you know, scaled the Swiss Alps, then you wash it. One of the things I was reminded of traveling is I don't need to take for a 7-day trip 10 pairs of underwear. Take 6. And girl, if you need an extra pair, you wash it. I was reminded that I grew up to a West Indian mother who, when we were growing up, we didn't have a million pairs of underwear. So you had 3 or 4 and you washed it by hand. You washed it and then you hung it up above the shower, uh, curtain line to dry. Why am I packing all this stuff? What I need, I can get when I get there, and I can use what I have wisely. Think about what you actually need. Lay it out, pack it tightly, pack it snugly, pack it organized. Close the suitcase. If everyone else can get on a plane with a carry-on and you can't do it, it's not because it's not possible. It's because You're not committed to figuring out what to get rid of. And if everybody else in life seems to be walking a little lighter than you are, and you're walking heavy and you're burdened down, it's not because living light, living joyful, living able to pivot, to make decisions isn't possible. It just means you have a habit of carrying more burden than what you should. So here are 3 things that I want to tell you about packing light beyond what to put in your suitcase. And I'll probably eventually at some point make my own packing list because everything that was here I didn't bring— a lot of what it was, and some things I did. But there are things in my suitcase I never took out, and most of the things I never took out I had packed just in case. Many of the things that we're carrying in life We're carrying just in case. I'm carrying this offense just in case someone else hurts me. I'm carrying this fear just in case this traumatic experience happens to me again. I am carrying all this stuff because what if I need it one day? I'm carrying this because what if I want to, um, pass it along and then I regret not keeping it? Like, your literal, figurative, emotional, mental stuff can choke you to death. And cause you not to enjoy the trip. And here's the thing: when life happens to you, and it will, and you need to pivot and you need to move quickly, the stuff will weigh you down, slow you down, and it will break you down. My travel was so much harder with the luggage that had been damaged. But the luggage— the damage that had happened to the luggage happened because there was too much weight on it. And the damage to your life will happen when you're carrying too much weight. Because when you need to pivot, when you need to make a decision, when you need to get on with your life, when you need to decide who's in and out of your life, when you need to make— move quickly and decide, is it this job, is it this house, is it this person— the luggage will keep you from moving swiftly. The burden will keep you from pivoting quickly. When I was getting off the plane, had I not taken my time getting off the plane, I may have made my flight. My flight was on time. I had a technical difficulty. My boarding pass wouldn't scan. I had to get in the customer service line 6 times, 6 times. So that's what made me ultimately late for my flight. But I wonder, had I not taken my time on the flight, putting all of my stuff back into the carrying bag that I had taken out, all the stuff I had taken out on the flight that I didn't even touch. If I didn't need the time to repack, to reorganize, to resituate, and I had simply been able to grab my luggage and been the first 2 or 3 people off the plane, would I not have had to miss my flight? Because even with 6 times at the customer service desk, I would've had more time. I wonder, and I wonder with you, if there were not things in your life that you had to carry with you, if you didn't have to struggle through it, if you didn't have to repack or re-decide or revisit the emotional trauma or re— connect with things that you have dismissed, if you did not have to always worry about your luggage, if you would be able to better meet with the opportunities in your life. So here are 3 things I want to tell you, lessons I learned from traveling. Number 1, pack light. Most of the things that we carry with us that weigh us down are not needful. We have them just in case. We have them because they make us feel comfortable. We have them because we want to operate as we operate fully in every season of our life. But some seasons are meant— some trips are meant— some journeys are meant for you to leave things at home. You intentionally leave things at home so that you will fully enjoy the season that you're in. You do not carry it with you into that season. You just don't. You pack light so that you can pivot. You pack light because you want to be able to move quickly. You pack light because you want to relieve stress, be agile. You pack light because you don't want to feel stressed about having to pivot and not being able to. Because I missed my flight, I was going to either have a 12-hour layover or I was going to have a planes, trains, and automobile experience. I chose planes, trains, and automobiles because Europe, you can take a train and a bus and a taxi to get anywhere. So I took the wonderful trip from London Heathrow on the tube to King's Cross and St. Pancras to take the Eurostar, which is the tunnel that goes underneath the English Channel to France and Brussels and Belgium. Then to get off that train, to get on another train that would take me from Brussels to Antwerp, then to take a taxi from the Antwerp station to meet my family at the hotel. 3 trains and a taxi after a flight. Do you want to know what I hated about that? I loved the adventure of the trip. I hated having to carry my luggage. The one that had the clothes, that had what I needed, no problem. The one that had all the stuff— and traveling in Europe, there is— there's not a lot of room for a lot of stuff. The hotels don't have a lot of room for a lot of stuff. The trains, planes, and automobiles don't have a lot of room for a lot of the stuff. And even when I was in the airport and I was trying to get through security, the gentleman looked at me and he said, you're checking a bag? And I said, no. He said, well, you have two large bags. I was like, no, I don't. This one is my, my carry-on. And he looked at me and he said, that's a large bag. He said, they're going to make you check it when you get to the gate. And I was like, well, no, I have my— I have important things in here, my camera and my laptop. And he just looked at me, he said, you can go ahead. I never went, but I haven't forgotten. They're going to make you check it. And I don't want them to check the bag with my important things in there, so I should have never brought them with me. I should have said when I left home, these things aren't coming. I choose to leave them and not bring them on this trip, because the truth of the matter is, if I have to check a bag Not only will it slow me down, but there will also be more damage. By refusing to pack light, you bring things with you into the next season that sets you up for more damage. I know it feels naked to not bring certain things with you. I know it feels naked to live minimally, physically, emotionally, mentally. I know that you've been carrying this teddy bear with you your whole life. This is what you carry with you, your defense mechanism. This is what carry with you, all the boxes of stuff. This is what you carry with you, but when you bring it with you, it causes other problems. I have now moved 3 times in 10 years. I'm one of those people that could live in the same house forever and never move because I like familiarity and I don't like change. But we moved 3 years, and because the first move I didn't know to make, I didn't plan on making, it was kind of a crazy move. I boxed up all the things that I needed to go through and move them. And then they stayed in boxes and I moved it again. And I, then I needed to move again and I moved those boxes again. So here in this current house, I have boxes that have been packed for 10 years. Do you know what has happened every time I've moved? Those boxes have cost me more money to move. I've had to figure out where to put the boxes. And the sad thing is what's in the boxes, apparently I don't need cuz they've been in boxes. But every time I've moved, they've caused me more stress, they've caused me more trauma, and they've caused me more money. Because if I'm going to keep my boxes and move them, they cost— they come— the movement of the boxes comes at a cost. And the movement of the things that you don't need in your life will cost you time, energy, money, relationship, future. So you can decide to pack light, and when you do, you're deciding what you're not going to take. Packing light in your life is as much about deciding what not going to take and what you don't need, or what you won't give space to, as it is about what you will travel with. What in your life have you been traveling with? It could be physical. Think about what's in your guest room stacked up against that back wall. It could be emotional— what emotions you bring with you into every relationship, what assumptions you bring with you into every relationship. It could be mental, it could be personal. You bring the baggage and the weight of assuming that the world is against you, or assuming that this won't last, or assuming that this person man will disappoint you, or assuming that you'll never be happy in this church, or assuming that you'll never get your finances right. And that baggage is weighing you down. You're not able to move forward with the information that sets you free because you keep bringing the information, you keep bringing the past experience, you keep bringing the older people, you keep bringing people in your life that are no good into the seasons where you're supposed to be having the time of your life. Pack light so that you can enjoy the trip and that when pivots happen, you're able to make them without damage. Schedule light. I think you should plan. I think you should know when you go on a trip that you should have an idea of where you want to go and what you want to see. But my sweet cousin Danica, who is German— I've been able to see her in person probably 5 times in my life— took 15 months off. 15 months off. In her 20s to travel the world. And as I was visiting with her on my trip, because when I got finally to my destination, I got a chance to visit with her. When I was visiting with her and asked her how did they plan where you wanted to see, she said, well, we knew we wanted to go to Thailand and Australia, but everything else in between, we figured it out as I went. They got jobs wherever they lived. They would stay long enough to enjoy the place, the city, the countryside. And then she and her travel partner then would move. They decide where they want to go next. So she was constantly being the tour director for not her trip but her life. You don't just want to pack lightly, you want to schedule lightly. Have a general idea of where you want to go, have a general plan for your life, but oh my goodness, leave room for all the things you didn't even know you wanted to do. Leave room for asking people who have traveled or who live where you are now traveling, what should I do here? Because if you schedule yourself from sunup to sundown, not only will you be exhausted, but you will miss some of the things you didn't plan that are actually the best things. In other words, what I'm telling you to do is release control. Release control of having to know how every single thing in your life has to go. Release control from having to know every single outcome, every single date. Release control of your children because no matter how you plan, they get to make choices. Release control of your spouse because they don't belong to you. Every decision in their life doesn't belong to you. Give them the freedom to change. Release your job. I know that you planned on being there whatever the time was, or that you planned on being in this position, but when the new opportunity comes, or when you get that slip and you get early severance, or the person that you plan to work with for 10 years has a different opportunity, and so then you end up not in the situation with the initial people that you were working with. Ask yourself, what opportunity lies here? Instead of lamenting the plans that didn't come to fruition, or the fact that you didn't get to plan, go with the flow. Some of the best travel experiences, they arrive because you leave room for Hey, if you ever feel like the things that you really want to see in your life, there is no room for them, you're like, I can't leave room because there is no room. Well, let me give you a little hint. Sometimes you have to make room. You have to proactively make the space in your life so that when the unexpected wants to arrive, it has space to do so. Listen, one of the best things that I've learned in my life is that Making room, deciding that I'm gonna create space so that I can hear better from God, connect with other people, have experiences I never could have planned on my own. Making room, creating margin is a gift to me. And I wanna invite you to give yourself the gift of making room this October, October 19th through the 22nd, 2023. I'll be making room to get away with a bunch of girls. Maybe you'll be one of them who want to join me in Hume Lake, California. That's in Northern California, in the mountains near a lake. Why? To make room to hear from God, connect with others, and to hear the heartbeat in your own body. Sometimes your soul just needs to be able to speak without a lot of noise and distraction. I would love for you to join me. You can find out more information by going to thesistercircle.com/retreat, and maybe you'll learn how to pack light to join me in California in just a few short weeks. But whether or not you decide to travel to Northern California with me, either way, packing light for a real trip you might take soon, but especially learning how to pack light for your life and live lightly— listen, that's where it's at, y'all. So let's get back to this teaching. When we went on our trip, my son said he wanted to go see a castle. I found a castle, the most best castle that was about a 50-minute train ride away, had tours, rated high on TripAdvisor. Oh, but yes, whenever you travel, please use TripAdvisor. You can use Yelp, you can use Google, but TripAdvisor is for people who travel and they tell you from their experience of traveling what you should do and not do. It's great. But this particular castle, y'all, I had decided this is what we were going to do. And then I realized I could spend the money on a tour that cost $150 a person. I could figure out the trains and spend an hour on the train, an hour back. But I'm dealing with an 18-year-old boy who just wanted to see a castle. So I let go of the castle that had the high plan. And did a quick search for castles nearby. There were a couple within a 15-minute drive, Uber ride. We went to see the palace. It wasn't even a castle, but you want to know what? He didn't even care. He saw a huge monstrosity. He saw something that he had not seen before. He peeked in the windows. He didn't need the tour. We got ice cream and he was happy. And you want to know what that meant? It meant that we got to spend more time together just chatting and walking than we had to spend time navigating the trip. Sometimes the plans that we have, y'all, we so overcomplicate things for our life. And honestly, the best advice I have for living is just when Jesus said, follow me, like, just go where I go. Life is an adventure. Just adventure with me. Don't have to have it all planned out. Have something, have a couple of rocks, a pegs to hang your plans on. You got to know where you fly in and out of, and maybe a major things, but everything else, you know, write it down and then decide when you get there. Scheduling lightly allows you to let your location and the light of day lead. There are plans that you may have, and then you don't want to do those things if it's raining outside, but there are other things you can do. When you schedule lightly, you leave margin for life to surprise you. So make plans but hold them loosely. Pack lightly so you can navigate your plans easily. Schedule lightly so that your plans don't get in the way of you actually enjoying the trip of your life. What does this mean? Have a 3-year, 6-year plan for your savings? Absolutely. Have a 5-year goal for what you're going to do in terms of major purchases, maybe a house or a car or a trip or travel? Yes. Have goals for your retirement, but then listen, If your girlfriend calls and you've been disciplined about saving your money and you're like, you know what, I am on track for my goals, but she just said she's going to Australia for 8 days, do I want to go with her? Count your coins and then pivot. If that slows you down and instead of reaching your goal of saving for a house or saving for that new car is delayed for 3 to 6 months, this is life. Do you understand that a great part of life is rolling with the unexpected? It is having plans and sticking with those plans, Someone unexpected is going to pop up in your life. This is a great relationship. Something unexpected is going to pop into your life. This is a great opportunity. Some location is going to pop up in your life. You should go see the world, it's a beautiful place. And you might surprise yourself by scheduling lightly and living loosely, because maybe the adventure that you seek is on the other side of your well-planned trip. And maybe it's only until you release some of your plans, or better yet, some of your expectations. What did I think life was going to be like? But what if it's not? And what if life not meeting my expectations is life actually giving me a gift? Because I found that most of the gifts in life come from the things we didn't plan. Pack lightly, schedule lightly. And pose lightly. My favorite pictures on my trip to Europe are the ones that other people around me caught, not the posed ones. The posed ones are beautiful. I will use them. I will put them in an album. I'll put them in a digital scrapbook. Lord, help me to get these pictures out of my phone. But the beautiful pictures were the ones where I'm laughing really hard eating ice cream, talking to my dad. The fun pictures are the ones where my son is putting a waffle in his mouth and his hand and his fork is right at his mouth and his mouth is wide open. That's the best shot. The best shot is the casual picture I took of my aunt and my uncle who hadn't seen each other in years laughing over burgers in the middle of the town squares. The pictures we didn't pose for are the best ones because it is a picture of the pure emotion, the pure experience, the pure engagement with the trip. It's the real tear. It's the real frown. It's the real smile. It's the real laugh. It's the real joy. We got a chance not only to see my uncle who's lived in Germany all of his life as a military US person who met the love of his life in Germany. But we had an opportunity on our last day there to eat dinner with them. We found a place that was mid-location and we sat down. I had not seen my Aunt Gina, um, for at least 10 years. When she saw us, her face turned red. She hugged me tight and she just started crying, bawling. It's been so long. It's been so long. And then I heard someone with a camera snap the picture. That memory will mean more to me than the picture we took. In good light to capture our family. The one where her face was red, where the tears were falling, where we were hugged in tight embrace because family, family. It's the pictures we don't pose for. So pose lightly. Stop trying to get everything in your life to be crystal clear, shiny, excellent, 100%, A-grade. Stop worrying about things not being put together or for things not to be glossy and beautiful. Stop stressing out when the way you wanted things to look is not the way they look. Are you living your life? Are you laughing? Are you crying? Are you with the people that you love? Are you enjoying the experience? Stop caring about what other people think and trying to get the pose right, because maybe in the posing actually not enjoying the present. Maybe because you're working so hard to look right in the camera, you're not observing what your camera actually sees behind you. All you're looking at is your camera. You're looking at the eye of opinion. You're looking at the eye of preference. You're looking at the eye of other people, and nobody cares that much. Listen, Whatever you're trying to make sure people see about your life, nobody cares that much. Trust me, we're all way too self-centered to care that much about what you're trying to make look good. Stop trying to pose everything in your life because maybe it's when you're not posing that the raw emotion flows and that you actually remember the moment. Maybe it's when you're not posing that you put your camera down and you actually look at what your eyes can behold. One of the rules of life that I've learned that really helps with this is not posting immediately. Like, even if you wanna post something on social, and even if you wanna take a picture, spend most of your time looking with your eyes, hearing with your ears, feeling with your skin. When I got married, I read a book, um,— if I can remember that book name, I'll put it in the comments below. But one of the things that was said in preparation for marriage: on your wedding day, when it's the time for the bride to walk down the aisle and they open the doors, don't move. Stand there. Take it all in. You are the bride. Everyone will wait. They are standing for you. Take 10 seconds, take 10 minutes. You stand there. For all intents and purposes, you're going to do this thing once in your life. And the biggest regret that most brides have is that they plan the day, they were in the day, they don't remember the day. They don't have a visual of what the church looked like, what the stage looked like, what their beloved looked like, what the flowers on the ground look like that the flower girl left, what the staging design looked like. They don't remember the feeling of the room because they rushed down the aisle because it was the next thing to do. Pause, stand there, and take it in. On my wedding day, I was standing next to my dad and he kept pulling me forward, and I pulled him back. I said, wait, wait, I want to remember this. During the wedding, I have on video during the one of the prayers Everybody else has their eyes bowed, their eyes closed, and their head bowed, and I'm scanning the room. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received is take it all in. I was more concerned with what I saw than what the camera captured, and because I was more concerned with being in the moment my camera captured some wonderful things. My photographers and videographers, they captured wonderful things, but they did not have my viewpoint. They weren't standing on the stage in my spot with the proximity to my wedding party and my father. I remember my father. I remember what my hands looked like. I remembered what my friend, what her face looked like and what her hair looked like, cuz she had a special hairdo. I glanced down at my mother. I remember her sitting there. Looking beautiful. I remember it because I captured it with my mind, because I wasn't concerned about posing. Stop posing. Pose for a few here and there, but the most beautiful memories are— will be the ones you didn't stage. If you have to choose between posing and being present, don't bring the phone. Be all into the moment. The suitcase that I packed was not the problem. The duffel bag was. It was heavy. It was full of all the things. Every time we moved, moved hotels, every time I had to travel in a car, I hated moving the bag. But at this point, I had packed it full and I had to carry it with me. The next time, cuz there will be a next time, because Europe, you need to be there. This is why people backpack Europe and spend weeks and months there, cuz there's a million things to see. This is why traveling is so important, cuz once you travel, you realize how much you don't see. That's a whole thing. Once you get outside your comfort zone and the people you know and the roads that you're familiar with, all of a sudden you see how big the world is. And how small you are and how many wonderful things there are to notice and take in. So I'll be going back. I don't know when. I still got kids at home to raise, but I can tell you this: I will be packing lighter. I will be looking for what I don't need, because the joy of being able to pivot without pressure is priceless. It's true. And the pressure that you feel from carrying too much stuff is punitive. It is burdensome. It is irritating. You're mad at your own self for bringing it with you. So why do you— have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're like, I'm mad at myself for even being like this? You can change. You may have to unpack. You may have to take your time and learn new habits. You may have to look at what you've been bringing with you and decide to keep it in a corner. You may have to learn how to do Physically with your stuff. I mean, there are home organizers, y'all, who will help you throw things away. Spiritually and mentally with stuff. Lord, what are the thoughts that I'm supposed to keep? But how am I supposed to renew my mind, and what am I supposed to get rid of emotionally? You see a therapist and a counselor. What are you going to refuse to continue to bring with you in terms of your thoughts or emotions? You may have to learn how to unpack. You will. The suitcase I normally travel with that's oversized and that feels like a brick, I never unpack it. All I do is take out the old clothes and put in the new. Because I never unpack it, I don't even know half of what's in there. I just know everything I might need is there. But when it was time for me to put my packing together in the new suitcase, I dumped everything out of the old suitcase. I had a folding table. I put all of the things on the folding table, and one by one, I only put in the new suitcase what I needed from the old suitcase. When I left to go to Europe, my problem was that I had done a great job deciding what to put in my suitcase, but then at the last minute, without enough time to look at my life, I threw safety nets in the duffel bag, and the duffel bag was the problem. If you take the time to unpack your life and only put back in it what you need, you'll be good to go. But if you don't take the time, if you try to do it too fast, if you try to do it too quickly, if you try to do it too shallowly without actually taking the time to do it, you'll end up overpacking again because that's your habit. Why does it matter for you to pack lightly, schedule lightly, and pose lightly, because you were designed to enjoy the trip. I want you to enjoy the trip. I don't want you to be burdened and unnecessarily hurt and sad emotionally. I don't want you to be overwhelmed and you don't even know it because you have too much stuff in and around you. I don't want you to feel like you can't enjoy where God is taking you because there's all of this stuff— people luggage, because some people don't need to be in your life, uh, home luggage luggage, some stuff you don't need and you haven't used it in a long time, paper luggage, because that's a whole thing too. What is weighing you down and what commitment are you going to make to get rid of it? Me, packing lightly, I'm going to get better at it. I've been practicing, I'm going to get better. But this is going to overflow into other areas of my life. There's an office I need to declutter. There are some emotional reactions that I've been having and certain people in my life, I need to get rid of that. I need to deal with it, I need to unpack it, figure out why it's there. So that I don't continue to carry it with me. You were designed to live lightly. When Jesus came, he said, follow me, put that down and follow me. Most of the time, when God wants to give you life and life indeed, he's going to ask you to open your hands so that he can put something in it. But if your hands are full of other things things, you won't have room to receive. I want you to travel lightly. I want you to pack lightly, and I want you to schedule lightly, and I want you to pose lightly, because I want you to have room for the abundant life that God has promised. The abundance— see, I believe that God has created us to be the makers of wealth. Yes, there's nothing wrong with money. I want you to have abundance in your family. I want you to have solid relationships. I want you to be whole.. I want you to have freedom and abundance in your mind. I want you to be able to think great thoughts and receive great thoughts from God. I want you to be able to put those thoughts into action in the world. I want you to have abundance in your body. I want sickness and disease not to come in because of the emotional and psycho— uh, psychobiological connection between your mind and your body. I don't want bitterness to take root and make you sick. I want you free. I want freedom. You will not be free if you are burdened. You will not be free if you're carrying things you were not designed to carry for way too long. You will not be free to make the pivot into the life purpose that God has for you when it shows up if you are busy caring for all of your stuff. And trust me, your stuff is not a zero-sum game. You have to carry it. And with every ounce of energy you're using to carry your stuff, you are not free to carry the stuff that matters. So this is me telling you to travel lightly, pack lightly, schedule lightly, and pose lightly so that you can live with light overflowing out of your soul. I want you to live life to the full, and that means your hands need to be ready to receive. What in your life do you need to unpack What is burdening you down? What is causing you to move slower? What is causing you not to be able to pivot when opportunity comes? What is in your mind, in your heart, or in your home that's getting in the way of you actually having the life that you dreamed of? What is getting in the way of you actually having a life that you love? I look forward to reading your notes in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you, but I also look forward to us learning better and better how to live lightly so that we can live well. All right, y'all, talk to you later. Goodbye.