How to Wait on God Without Losing Your Joy

If you ever said to yourself, I'm actually not enjoying my life because my life is not going the way I wanted it to go, or you are feeling depressed, disappointed, sad, grief, stuck, frustrated with God when things aren't happening in the timing you expected, all of those feelings, all of those thoughts can steal your joy, and it shouldn't. You can still have and experience a great life in the waiting and joy in the journey. So let's talk a little bit about about what it looks like for you to understand how you can craft your emotional journey even while you are feeling like your dreams are delayed. Because your delayed dreams don't have to mean denied joy. You know, there is this idea that if things don't happen on our timeline, that we have expectations, and it's because we have expectations that we get disappointed. If you aim for nothing, you hit nothing. And what will happen sometimes is people will say, well, because I don't want to be disappointed, then I won't hope. That's the wrong thing. Without hope, you won't even look at what you're aiming for. Without hope, you won't persevere when things are hard. Without hope, you won't believe for the best and talk about the best as if you expect it to happen. So you hoping is important, but the reality is, if you hope, you are leaving room to be disappointed. Okay, but you shouldn't dumb down your hope just because you don't want to be disappointed. Let me just say that. Just because your dream hasn't come to pass yet doesn't mean it won't come. It doesn't mean it won't come. It's probably not going to come in your time. So your focus in driving hope forward has to be less about it happening the way I wanted it to happen, and it needs to be more about it happening in a way that you can enjoy the way it rolls out. I mean, how many times have I said to my kids, they're waiting on something, they're frustrated, it's not going as fast as they want it to go, and so they're just anxious. And I'm like, just wait, just relax, just enjoy the journey, we'll get there. Because as their parent, I know what's coming. Okay, God knows what's coming. And what he wants for you to do is to choose joy and enjoyment when you feel disappointment, and all of those other negative emotions creeping in. So these are the instructions that we have, okay? We are reminded in the word in Romans 12:12, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." It's a three-pronged approach. One, the assumption is you're gonna keep hoping and you're gonna look for joy, 'cause he's telling you what to do. He's not asking you. That you're gonna look for, "How can I stay joyful?" Then when the hard parts come, because the assumption is they will, You're gonna be patient. You're gonna choose to wait on the Lord and his timing. And then he's assuming that you're gonna pray and he wants you to be faithful and consistent in prayer. So the assumption is, be joyful because you're hoping, choose joy. When the affliction comes, be patient, hold on, and never stop praying. Because it is true, this is what Proverbs 13:12 says, that hope deferred makes the heart sick. When you hope for something and it's not coming in your time, it does make you feel some kind of way. But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Now, here's why you got to keep hoping. Because if your lack of hope means that you stop looking for it, you stop working for it, you stop praying for it, you stop expecting it, then you're missing out on a longing fulfilled. The joy that comes from a longing that you've held for a long time while it may have been painful to hold on to it, a longing fulfilled is everything. You don't let go of your hope until God releases you from it. You don't let go of your hope until your hope lets go of you, until it's something you just actually don't want anymore. Until then, you choose joy along the way, you grow in patience, and you choose to be faithful in prayer. I know that there have been seasons in my own life where it just took too long. I got married when I was 29, a few months before I turned 30. I was already a single parent, and I remember, um, dating on and off in my 20s and thinking— I literally remember having the thought, I'm probably not going to get married. Like, you know, if I get past 30— and of course, this is, you know, 25 years ago. If I get past 30 and I'm a single parent, I'm probably not gonna get married. And there was literally a decision that I made to enjoy my life. I poured myself wholeheartedly into things I enjoy. I started piano lessons again in my 20s because I had taken them all during my teen years. I started a choir at church. And let me tell you, some of the best memories and the most enjoyment that I had in my mid to late 20s was because of that choir. I had the time to do it. I had the desire to do it. I enjoyed doing it. I didn't know what I was doing. I just asked for permission and I said, we'll figure it out. And back then there was no Spotify or Apple where you could just joint to 227, that one spot in the music. I had a cassette tape, and if I wanted to record the songs and not buy all the albums because I was broke, I had to put a blank cassette tape in my boombox. Okay, y'all don't know what that is. And I had to turn on gospel radio on Sunday morning, and every time a song would come on, I'd have to run over and press record. And then as soon as that song was over, I'd have to press pause, and I would wait wait for the next song to come over. That's how I grew my own playlist. And then I would take that playlist and take it to choir rehearsal and play the songs and teach the parts. Y'all, I didn't know what I was doing, but we got so close. And two of the members of the choir were a married couple. They had gotten married really young at 18, so they were 10 years ahead of all of us. They had this beautiful house. We used to go over there. We used to have the best weekends, girls and guys hanging out, spending the night, staying up late watching movies, staying up all night. Y'all, we had So it was like college on repeat. But that started because I said, you know what, God's timing may not be my timing, but I choose to be joyful while I'm waiting and hoping for marriage. And while I have time, I'm going to do something else to pass the time, to enjoy my life. I chose joy. You know, when my kids were small, my husband used to travel a whole lot. And it was hard to leave the kids, babies that you have if you're a young mother, and your husband says, "We should go on this trip," and you're like, "Oh, that's gonna be too much work." Leave the kids, go on the trip, because you wanna inject your life with little bits of joy along the way. And the little bits of joy don't have to be major. They don't have to be amazing. They don't have to be perfect. They just have to be little things that you do to enjoy your life along the way. I have been intentionally trying to keep my life on the rails because there's a lot in my life right now that I cannot control. I've been trying really hard to keep my life on the rails. One of the ways I've been doing that is to keep up with my obedience walks. I have been sharing about that online. The Lord is telling me to walk for an hour 3 times a week, nothing in my ear, don't talk to anybody. If I'm on the phone, I get off the phone and I just get lost in the freedom of my own thoughts. But this past, two Sundays ago, I intentionally timed it so that I would walk as the sun was setting. I intentionally decided to do what I had to do anyway at a time that I knew would bring me joy. That's what it looks like to look for joy. It doesn't have to be major. It looks like doing something you love with people you enjoy doing it with. It looks like taking little blips out of your life. You wish you could live on vacation. You wish you could travel all the time, but you can't. But when you can, just go. It looks like timing things just so that if you're going to do it anyway, you might as well do it in a way you like. You inject joy into your life and you say, if God is not giving me what I want when I want it, don't be sad, oh my soul. He's changing me. He is creating in me capacity so that when my dream intersects with his timing, I'm ready. So instead of looking at it like, I don't have it yet, look at it like, he's increasing my capacity. And there is nothing like going to God with your disappointments, with your frustrations, with your anxieties, with your sadness, and laying it on the altar in prayer. Sometimes you combine those. You walk and you talk out loud. You're the crazy person that is upset with God. I have done everything you've asked me to. I have tried my best to be obedient, and here I am. I am still single. I am still broke. I am still in debt. I am living in home. I am still struggling with this child. I am still struggling with my body. What else do you want from me? This is called being a woman after God's own heart. You keep it real. It's important for you to understand that delayed dreams don't have to deny your joy, but your part is choosing joy. It is important that you understand this concept that everything in your life has a part that God is supposed to play and a part that you're supposed to play. Your part is keep going Choose joy. Grow your patience. Keep going and keep talking to God. Imagine a traveler who is so focused on the destination that they miss the scenery. They miss breathtaking scenery. They miss meeting new people. They miss making precious memories. This is what it is like for me to travel with my kids in the car. I literally have to say, "Put your phones down." "Mom, there's nothing to do. We're on a road trip." Look out the window. Learn the difference between Kansas and Arizona. Understand that if you drive through East Texas, that is different than driving through New Mexico. Pay attention to the changing of the leaves if we're driving through the— I literally, we were driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains and these kids were playing video games. Put the games down. You need to know what the Blue Ridge Mountains look like. There are sometimes in your life you just have to choose to look out the window. Because life is passing you by if the only thing that you're focusing on is what's in front of you. I'm so focused on the goal, I don't see anything out the window. Or what is distracting you and dumbing down your experience. Because there are certain things in our lives, y'all, we are doing to numb the pain that are actually stealing away from us the joy of life. Put down the phone. Turn off the TV. Do something different. Look for joy. There is a study by the American Psychological Association in 2022. Most adults, over 60%, are going to feel that their life is off-kilter. They're going to feel anxiety when their life doesn't go as planned. But 25% of that 60, or of the whole number, say that actually they felt less anxiety, less stress, less disappointment when they practice gratitude. Gratitude is a gateway to joy. It's like a door. If you can open the door— I'm thankful. This is like turning the knob. I am thankful. Let me look at what's good. I am turning the knob. When you open the door, joy can come in. So you have power in your choices. You can't choose your timeline. You can't choose your pain. You can't choose your circumstances often. And you certainly can't choose the consequences when you're the one who didn't do the right thing., but you can choose your reaction. And choosing joy and looking out the window is a part of that. Look for your choir, look for your short trips, look for the sunset. So look for joy. Number 2, laughter. Laughter lightens your load. Okay, when you lose the grip on your life, and especially if you were aiming for perfection and it didn't happen, or the pressure of life, it's not your fault, it's just life is doing, its thing. When that comes, you've got to, yes, open the door for joy, but laughter is a different level of joy. It's like, it's so good to me, I'm having a reaction. Okay? Like some of us probably have some level of intolerance for dairy or gluten. Many of us will start sneezing when the weather turns because even if we don't have a major problem with allergies, we just can't when certain counts get high. Stop from sneezing or rubbing our nose, right? So we all have a level of reaction. But then there are people that have an allergy. Like, if they get stung by the wasp, they're going to blow up. If the trees are flowering, they literally have to take medicine because they cannot function. We have allergies that are so strong that if I eat a nut, my throat is going to close up, right? That is an allergy. That is a problem. Humor is another level of joy. Just like all of us have allergies, But bad allergies is another level of something we all can have. So your goal, obviously we don't want more allergies, we don't want that level, but your goal is to level up on your joy and laughter is the lever for doing that. The Bible says in Proverbs that laughter is good medicine. A cheerful heart is good medicine, 'cause a crushed spirit is gonna dry up the bones. Now, you know, laughter, it sounds great. Like we all know this, but manufacturing laughter, That's your job, okay? You literally have to do things that heighten this because joy, remember, is a choice, but laughter is you having a reaction. It is saying joy overflowed. It became so much that I had to show it. And you wanna laugh because laughter physically, joy physically too, but laughter at another level, it changes the chemistry in your body. You get a hit of dopamine, you get a hit of serotonin, it lowers your cortisol. Laughter is good medicine. So, you know, you have to look at things sometimes in your life and look for laughter. So here's an— here's an example. Charis, when she was a teenager, was driving my Nissan Quest. I love that minivan. And one day she was leaving our home, which was on a rural street, and she was trying to avoid a squirrel. And because she was trying to avoid the squirrel— and I'm sure Charis has a lead foot like her mother— she was trying to not kill the squirrel and was going probably 45 miles an hour on what probably should have been 25 miles an hour. And in avoiding hitting the squirrel, she totaled my car. Now, when she first came back and told me, my husband said, "Yeah, that car is totaled." I was like, "What happened?" First, I was sad and just glad that she was okay. And she was like, "I don't know. I don't know. I just didn't want to hit the squirrel." You didn't want to what? You didn't want to— what? Now, in the moment, it wasn't funny. After 24 hours, it was funny. I was able to call family members and say, y'all not gonna believe this, Karris done totaled my car. She was— this girl was trying not to hit— hit the squirrel! Hit the squirrel! Like, that was a moment of levity and laughter. Sometimes you have to get past a moment to be able to laugh about it. Another thing is that we'd laugh about it on social media, but my mother did not like the turbulence on planes at all. Joel does not like turbulence on planes, but that's funny to me. So I went with Priscilla on this private plane. They had 8 seats, and they said, we got 2 seats, Chrystal, do you and Joel want to come? Sure. Y'all, them private planes feel every bump of air in the sky. So Joel is just sitting, he does not enjoy— he's a scaredy cat. This is Joel on the plane. I mean, a mini bump, y'all, just a little like a This is him, y'all. All 8 of us on that plane lost it. And then Priscilla was like, y'all, don't laugh at my JoJo. Don't laugh at my boy, y'all. And he— that happened like 8 times on that flight. We died laughing the whole flight. Okay, that's what laughter looks like. You find turbulent things and you find something that's funny because life, Oscar Wilde says, is too important to be taken seriously. So here are some ways that you can find laughter in your life. Choose to watch a funny movie, one that you think is funny, because there are different types of funny. You go find an old comedy special and you laugh. Be around funny people. You gotta have at least one person in your life that's always cracking a joke. You're either laughing with them or laughing about them. They may be funny, not know they're funny, okay? You revisit the funny on your phone. You scroll through and you look for memories that make you at least smile. Or maybe just, you know, crack a chuckle. A chuckle will do. Y'all, we do not give enough credence to playing games. Get out the Uno cards, play charades, play a game that makes it easy to laugh at other people or to laugh at yourself. You know what else is funny? Learn a TikTok dance, 'cause somebody in your group can't dance. Do a TikTok challenge. Somebody in your group can't sing. I mean, you— we've all watched these, right, on social media where people are doing something together and then it's funny. But you have to be intentional about looking for the laughter. Tickle your brain. That's all we're doing is tickling a brain. Y'all, every year when it was time for a new school year or I started a new school, I'd be so excited because I'd be like, this year is gonna be different. I say that every time a new calendar year rolls to. This year is my year, and this is the time where I get my planner so I can start planning for what I'm going to do in the year to come. And I want you to do that too. Y'all, the Full Circle Planner, they are available for pre-order, and I want you to go get yours now while you can. Choose the color and make sure that you can get yours before they run out. thesistercircle.com/planner. Because it's that time where we get to decide who we're going to be. Come on and join me, y'all. You know, when I travel, y'all, I am a— it's a problem. My bags are heavy. My carry-on is heavy. In fact, my purse, I can't even hold. It has to be scooted along on top of my carry-on luggage. I pack too much. The main reason why my stuff is heavy, y'all, the main reason is because I may be gone for a 24-hour trip, but I'm going to pack 8 books because who knows which book I'm going to want to read. And I may only want to read 1 chapter in each one of my books. Books, each one of the 4 or 5. So my bags are heavy. And everybody always says, particularly my brother, girl, what is— he's always trying to psychoanalyze me. Y'all know Anthony and his psychobabble and his therapized situation. He's always trying to— yeah, I'd be like, quit analyzing me, you don't know me. He's like, what does this represent in your life? It represents that I like to read. That's what it represents. But in all seriousness, when we pack our bags, when we overpack, it makes the trip harder. So when you overpack worry and perfectionism and your own timeline, when you overpack frustration and sadness and grief, and you don't at least put in that bag something you're going to enjoy, or choose to take some things out and replace it with laughter and smiles and some comedy and enjoyment— if you don't find yourself laughing— listen, go people watch. We don't know these people, we're not going to talk to them. Just take a friend, take your mother, take your sister, take your girlfriend, and just go talk about the people. Find something that's funny. Y'all, and at least once a week, laugh out loud because laughter is something else. It's something else you can pack in your suitcase. And when you put laughter in and there's less room for the other stuff, your load will be lighter. Joy is holy. Jesus wants you to have joy. The third thing is your faith will free you to live fully in the now. Your faith will free you to live fully in the now. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, God makes everything beautiful in his time. Isaiah 55:8-9, he says, I don't know why we expect anything different. My thoughts are not your thoughts. My ways are not your ways. If you can figure it out, you're probably wrong. If you can figure it out, you're probably wrong. Because God is on a whole different wavelength. He's on a whole different timeline. And he wants us to plan. He wants us to prepare. The Bible, the wisdom in Proverbs is full of examples of how we need to get ready. He is also saying, if it ain't working and it's not on your timeline, and if it's not happening the way you envisioned, do everything you can and then put the pen down. It's like taking a test. Remember when you would be taking those tests, those bubble tests? For those of us who are Gen Xers, you would reach a point where after you have done all you can do, you had to put the pen down. Donnie McClurkin said, after you've done all you can do, you just stand. You just go as far as you can go, and then you say, "Okay, God, the rest is up to you." Matthew 6:34 says, "Don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow is gonna take care of itself." When you trust God's timing and his sovereignty, you are releasing yourself to enjoy the present without the burden of you being the only person who can figure it out. There have been lots of dreams and timelines that I've had to surrender to God in my life. Lots of times where I've had to look for his peace to pass all of my understanding, that I've had to look in the present moment for joy, that I've had to expect that God knew what he was doing even though my expectations had not come to pass. Lots of times that I've had to do that. And one of them is right now. There are a lot of things I'm just— I got a lot of questions, a lot of questions. Elizabeth Elliott said, faith does not eliminate questions though. But faith knows where to take them. So what faith looks like for me in this season of not having answers to questions, not having my timeline understood or answered, is I'm spending a lot of time going to God. I've had to wait on God for faith in healing for one of my children. I've had to wait on God for faith in my relationship with my husband and the development of our marriage. I've had to wait on God for the house that we now live in. Years and years of looking and looking and looking. I've had to wait on a lot of things. I thought I would be a corporate mogul, and then I did actually get married and then stayed at home with kids, and then I was like, what am I doing with my life? God knew what he was doing with my life. I had to wait to see his plan. When I am feeling the most frustrated and the most overwhelmed, the anecdote for that, beyond laughter and joy, is Waiting, choosing faith, laying it back on the altar. God, I don't know what you're doing, but I just have to trust that you see the end from the beginning and just show me, order my steps, give me the next step, because how I thought this was going to happen is not how it's happening. This happens all the time in our lives. Your faith is the choice to keep saying, God, you know what you're doing. It is to feel the pang of disappointment, But that pang is simply a reminder to choose joy and to trust. That's all it's supposed to do. So you've got to notice when those moments hit. You've got to notice when those moments hit. And when they hit, you have an answer. You choose joy, you laugh, you choose faith, you pray, you journal, you talk out loud, you release the dreams back to God. And then you interject that season with something that fills the waiting time that doesn't distract you in a way that gets you too off-kilter. But that's a great time to try a new hobby, to go on a spontaneous visit or with a friend, a hangout with a friend, or a date with a new guy, to have a dance party with your kid. Fill your time. You remember when you were a kid and you were in school and the clock would be passing so slowly? You'd just be looking and it was like, is it just now 2:15? And then you look up again Is it 2:19? What is happening? The way to make the clock pass is to do the work. The way to make your next season come is to use the season well. Even if you have to work a little ahead, you're like, I've done all my homework, I've done everything God asked me to do. Work ahead, get ahead on your homework, do some things that are extra credit, but stop watching the clock. Stop watching the clock. And you ask God in this season, what can I do to pass the time that is productive, that is preparative? Did I just make that word up? I might have. And that has a point. God, show me what you want me to do to pass the time while I'm waiting on you, to be prepared for me as I've been waiting on you. Before this comes, what can I do to pass the time? Because the time is going to pass anyway. Let faith free you to use your time fully. Let faith free you to use your time fully. You are allowed to live a joyful life when your dreams or your expectations make you feel less than joyful. You are allowed to laugh because your delays may not necessarily be denials. Things could still be unfolding. You are allowed to busy yourself in being productive in ways that benefit your life. And the kingdom of God. And you doing something else is not denial. It's simply the ongoing decision to believe that God is good. That's it. To believe that God is good. So here's my question for you. I'd love to know, as you've listened to me talk, what is the main thing that stuck out to you? What is the main thing that kind of hit you in the brain, stabbed you in the heart, resonated in your stomach? What's the main thing that resonated with you? And I would like to know specifically what you feel like is the most important thing to do while you are waiting for God to do his part. Okay, what hit you between the eyes? What resonated with you? What's the one thing you're not going to forget? And while you are waiting, what does it look like for you to choose joy, find laughter, or use your time well? My hope that this has been encouraging to you because after you are intentional about joy and laughter and not letting your hands be too idle, my hope is that when you feel anxiety or stress or sadness or grief or even indifference, that that's simply a trigger to send you towards joy, laughter, and the passing of time. And that that in turn gives you feedback that changes the way you feel. You may not be able to change your initial reaction, but you sure can change where you marinate, where you ruminate, and where you decide to sit. I hope this has been helpful to you. Joy is available. You just have to go get it. And practice what I'm preaching, because I'll certainly be doing the same. And I'll see you next time.