How to Walk in Spiritual Authority

So I get to interview a lot of people and some of them are on the show because maybe they've released a book or they have a project that they're working on and they are excited about being on the podcast to talk about what's important to them and then whatever the project is that they want to make sure you know about. Sometimes I will have a guest on here because I want to get to know them. Like I've been watching them, learning from them, listening, and I'm excited just to have them sit on the couch and have a conversation. Sometimes I have a podcast guest because there is a topic that I need for you to grow in, and I know just the person that will help you to grow. And then sometimes I get to have someone on the podcast simply because it's an honor for me to do so. And my guest today, number one, it's an honor. And really, it's kind of all the other things too mixed up because you're going to learn some things. Also, I like to watch her and learn from her. And also, there's some things that she's doing that you'll want to know a little bit about. Let me introduce you to my Aunt Ruth.

Hello.

Hi. So officially Ruth Ann Cannings.

Mm-hmm.

Ruth Ann is two words together.

Mm-hmm. For, uh, on my passport, it's Ruth Anna.

I know. Why is it say that?

But grandma, your grandmother insisted that I was called Ruth Ann.

But does that mean your passport is wrong?

No, no, no. Uh, if it's an official, I do Anna. As his middle name.

But I'm saying, what did your mama name you? Ruth Anna or Ruth Ann?

Ruth Anna as the middle name. Anna as the middle name.

But she called you Ruth Ann.

But she insisted that I was called Ruth Ann.

Okay. All right. Very good. Well, I am— thanks for joining me because you are here in the States. You come every year for a few months and you actually get on a plane to go back to London tomorrow. Tomorrow. So I know in the midst of all of the comings and goings, this is probably Not the best time for you to do it, but—

No, it's wonderful.

I wanted to make sure I got you on before. So for those of you who don't know, this is my mother's oldest sister, older sister and oldest sister, the oldest of the 8 Cannings children.

Yep.

Yeah. And raised in Guyana, moved to London as an 18-year-old.

To be a nurse, went straight into nursing.

To be a nurse, and then has since lived in London, but she comes back every year to stay as long as she can to soak and suck up as much family time as possible.

Precious.

And we're glad that you're here. But I've had the opportunity, because of the stuff that we do with the Sister Circle, to, um, beyond what I've learned from you and how I can look at your life and listen to you and get wisdom from you. Um, but to have you have done that for other people, um, you are a pastor, you are a speaker, you are a, a counselor. And oh, by the way, just let's just start off with this. It's the year 2025 and Aunt Ruth will be 80 this year. Look at this right here. Look at this. It don't crack. Uh, um, so a lifetime of nursing, but then ministry. Yes, always ministry from '91. From '91, ministry. So I wanted just to start out talking about spiritual authority just out of the gate, because when you have done coaching for the Sister Circle, um, you did it in walking in authority. And I— your mode of communicating with people. Uh, you have authority when you speak, and you are always encouraging other people to operate in authority, to speak in authority over their lives, to know God's word, and then to walk in the authority that God's word is truth. Do you think that this has been a natural thing for you to operate in authority, like based on your personality? You know, it's that whole oldest daughter vibe.

No, actually, I'm the eldest, but was the one that was quiet and restrained and very introvert. Your mom was the extrovert. I was the introvert.

She wanted to be a movie star.

Oh yes. She sent a, you know, in those days we obviously had to write letters, no email. And she sent this picture and the back of it said, "From your film star sister." And she was always doing this with her, here, so, which was fun. But she was the expert. I remember once I got caned, but she should have gotten the cane. I took the cane for her.

Cane, that's being beaten.

What does that mean? Sorry, being beaten with a cane. Right, not spanked.

Not spanked.

Beaten. Beaten with a cane that they had like a—

Like a walking stick?

No, it was a cane that schools used to tap you in the knuckles kind of thing. Okay.

So that's what somebody has in their mind, that somebody took their walking cane.

Oh no, no, no, no. It was a rod of correction, let's put it that way, that my parents used. And I took the whooping for her and she just, and she came and sat next to me in the bed. I was suddenly remembering this a few days ago. And she said, I'm so sorry.

And that was it.

'Cause she knew she was the one that should have had it. So I was the introvert. I was very, being the eldest, conditions that were made of my life that I don't think any parent intends to. But when you're the eldest girl of a large family, you end up being responsible for certain things. And then on the other hand, Daddy wanted me to be, at least one day he said, I wanted me to be a role, like a role model. So I didn't know who I was in a sense. I was trying to be what I should be. So I was withdrawn and quiet. And then when I went to England, It was my way of finding out who I was. And then I hit England in the '60s, which was the swinging '60s. And so I easily could get lost in that. Fortunately, we were in a care, in nursing in that time, every hospital had living facilities for nurses. That's why Daddy felt it was safe for me because I was in a living facility where the matron was in charge and she was like the mother. So, but it's while I was nursing, I realized that who I was was affecting those around me. In other words, I was quite happy in who I was. I knew my, I found my place, excuse me. And then one day, one of my colleagues just said, have we done something to you? Have we offended you? And I said, no, why are you saying that? And she said, well, you're just walking around as though somebody's offended you. And I remember mommy saying to me one day, "Look at her walking around as though somebody stepped on her foot." But I—

Meaning just because of the way your face looked?

Yes, I was just introverted to a great extent. And when I heard that from my colleague, I realized that what I thought was normal for me was actually affecting those around me. So I asked the Lord to change me. I literally said to the Holy Spirit, "Change my clothes 'cause I can't. I'm not aware of what I'm doing as such." And he did. So what you see now, blame him because he changed the clothes. And so as I continued in nursing, that did not for me string authority. It's when I got involved in church work, et cetera, and in the '90s, and I was made responsible, I was asked to be the director for pastoral care of a church of 123 nationalities. And at that time we were growing rapidly and now to 10,000. And I was asked to head the whole department. And I obviously delegated. I found people who would. But that's when I realized in counseling the importance of knowing who we are in Christ. Because if we don't, there's a difference between being, coming from Guyana, having, Guyana was a British colony until '66. I know the difference being a subject or a citizen. So sometimes we live as though we're subjects of heaven rather than citizens of the kingdom. And it affects how we live. So for me, the authority is recognizing I'm a citizen of the kingdom. I live in a palace until it, I mean, not physically of course, but I am, if he says I am his daughter and I'm a princess, then I should live in the way he says I am, live in his authority. So that's when I began getting a little concerned even recently as recently as the last 3 years, I just thought, I'm tired of just traveling and speaking. I need to see women and men move and become what God wants them to be. And the Lord had been using me with men at some point, not now, I'm mostly speaking to women, but there was a period in time when I was thrown into this situation of just speaking to men. And I actually felt that what the Lord was doing He was using me to help guys, men, his sons, to become who he created them to be, to step up, as it were. And I just said to the Holy Spirit not so long ago, I am tired of just being the next speaker. I want to see people change. I want to see them walk in authority. And so began this journey of, breakthrough. And also when I'm speaking, I suddenly found early on in the ministry, traveling ministry, earlier on, I found when I was speaking, I was suddenly would fly out of my mouth and I would jump. I used to jump and say, oh, what was that? Kind of thing. Now I don't. I just know that he's speaking. He's using his authority to change lives.

So yes, it's not in your personality originally.

No, not at all.

But you asked the Lord to give you a different presentation so that people wouldn't assume, um, about you what you didn't believe was true. But also just trying to own what God has offered. To say that I can follow your— I can follow what you're saying. You're not a subject, you're a citizen. Um, and walking as if there's an authority that I have because I'm a child of God. I understand that. But, and I heard you, you said, you know, like you prayed and asked God to help you with that. But I guess let's start with defining spiritual authority. What is spiritual authority? How would somebody know what we're talking about?

Okay, well, from what I feel, and I could be corrected, but what I believe is that when Christ rose from the dead, we take communion every Sunday. Communion is not just remembering his death, it's remembering the victory we have because of his death and his resurrection. So for me, that act of resurrection, death and resurrection, he said, "I'm giving you authority over sickness. I'm giving you authority." It doesn't mean we won't get sick, but we have the authority to pray and to say, "By his stripes, I'm healed." And then in his sovereignty, he chooses the path. But I have the authority to ask what he says is mine. So it's like having, I said subject. When I was a subject of England, when I went to live in England, I was still a subject. It means I did not have the right to the things of a citizen. I could live in England, I had a British passport from birth, I could live in England, I could do things, but I could not claim the right to protection as a citizen. But when I became a citizen, it changed. I can go to any country and walk into the British Embassy and declare that I'm a British subject and you must protect me. When we know and love him, we have a birthright. And therefore, am I living with the knowledge of my birthright, the wealth I have in my birthright, or am I living as though I have to claim it. It's already mine. Do I have to claim it or walk in it? Use it? Does that make it?

It does. So spiritual authority is about how you talk, but it's not just about what you say. It's about how you— it's about your expectation.

And how you live. And the only way we can do that, I think I'm fortunate, we're fortunate to be of a legacy of the Word. Brought up in the Word, taught in the Word. Not every person, maybe most people listening would not have had that experience of having devotions every morning and being taught the Word, or their children being made to learn verses of scripture, et cetera. And so that may become, sorry, may become an issue of what does it mean to walk in? I believe that the authority I feel I have now has come from the legacy of knowing the authority in the Word of God. Yeah. And knowing the scriptures. So what I say now is that if you have not had that journey, it doesn't mean you can't have it because you have it. It's just knowing how to use it. So the way to claim it then would be to study the word. You may not have been given the word.

You need to know what you have access to.

But you have access to the word of God and it's the word of God that has the authority because he is the word. We interpret the word, but he is the word. So therefore the authority is in him, in his word. So he says, remind me of my word. He doesn't mean I claim it and name it and claim it. It simply means if I say, for instance, the verse I just used, by his stripes I am healed, that is giving me the faith to believe that I can pray to him as Jehovah Rapha. I have that authority rather than saying, the Lord will heal you, Lord, please heal me if it's your will. He says it's my will, but his will may be, what he does may be different, but I have the right to claim it.

So do you think, I mean, you got all these people going to all these churches, doing all these Bible studies. So we don't have, a lack of knowledge of the Word. But I'm sure you see, I'm assuming here that you see a lot of people who with all the knowledge don't have authority.

Yes, it's, but no, yeah. But most of the people—

Don't walk in that authority.

Yes, they don't, because they feel that they're not holy enough to ask for the things. They don't feel worthy. They don't feel they're worthy. I hear people praying, "Lord, I'm not worthy to ask of you." I am worthy, but how I use that is a different thing. If I command it, that's wrong.

So, what do I do? 'Cause when I think spiritual authority, I think of people feeling bold enough to ask God for something that, like you said, that is available, and it's God's decision if he provides it.

Yes.

But it's available. But there's two things that happen. People either shrink back from authority because they don't want to risk, well, I don't want to go out there with that high expectation. Expectation, and then God doesn't deliver, then I'm disappointed. Or, um, people over— they overshoot it, if that makes any sense. And it's a level of confidence in God, but also confidence— it sometimes seems like confidence in themselves, confidence in how they pray or how they say it. Because there's a way to sound like you have spiritual authority, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, there's a way to pray. Yes, there's a way to you know, command the body, and there's a way to, you know, all of that. So we have on the spectrums people who know the word and don't walk in authority, and who— people who walk in authority but may not even know the word. In my experience with the people I know, there's fear in overshooting. I don't want to take authority that God has not given to me. And then there is, um, concern about people who are walking in extended authority. So how do I know I'm in the right place?

Well, the thing is, it's not being presumptuous. It's a gift. It's not a, it's not, it's a gift. It's, let me put it this way. The enemy knows whether when I speak with authority, I'm actually walking in it or not. I can speak with authority, but I'm not walking in it. So it doesn't make any change to my life. In actual fact, things get worse, can easily get worse because I feel, well, God isn't answering. I'm taking authority, but he's not answering. But That's a presumption. Authority comes from knowing the Word. So my suggestion recently has been to people, if you have not been brought up in the Word, it's so important to spend time in the Word. We are not, most of today's generation, I find when I travel ministering, they're in the same position, most of the time in the same position of not, and if you check, they're not spending enough time in the Word of God. When you get to know the person, Then you move with his authority. It's not my authority anyway to use, it's his authority. So it's recognizing the authority is not mine. He hasn't given it to me, it's his. So I would say, Lord, with your authority, do such and such. I am claiming this with your authority. It's his authority, it's not mine. So I can't use it as though that's a presumption. We are in a season now where people are taking tidbits They're eating tidbits. They're not—

Sound bites.

Or sound bites. They're not actually taking time because it's too consuming. Yet everything else in their lives are organized. Everything else in their lives are organized and they find time for everything. But when it comes to just sitting with the scripture, just sitting with the word, you don't have to do anything. Just sit with it and get to know him. When two people are courting, they sit, they get to know each other. They sit, they eat. I just heard of a young couple when they met, the first date, they talked for 4 hours. Well, guess what? Can any of us sit and talk for 4 hours with the Lord? And yet what a blessing that would be. And then it gives me an understanding of who I am in Him, and therefore what authority He's given me.

So that sounds super spiritual.

Does that make sense?

Yes, it sounds super spiritual. If someone doesn't have the experience of sitting with God for 45 minutes, much less 4 hours. So for this person who's watching or listening and they are thinking—

Start with 10 minutes.

So build up.

You build up until— because the more time, that's what I did when I went to England. Because when I went to England, I didn't have a mom and a father. I didn't have a church foundation, and I was easily swinging towards the swinging '60s, literally, until I got your mother's letter. So I was literally at a crossroad in my life when I was starting to journey in another direction. But I had the word of God in my heart. But what it is, is starting, and I encourage people, just start with 10 minutes. And eventually, is the more and more you fall in love with him through his word, the more time you want to spend with him. So your grandmother, my mother, would spend an hour every day, but she didn't start that way. But then it got to the point where she couldn't do without that hour. Yeah. And then it got to the point where the Lord himself said, "Eileen, I'm waiting for you." That's a different kind of intimacy.

So start with something.

Just start with what you got.

Prioritize it.

Yes.

And after a while, just shut a door. Time with the word, time with the Lord becomes something that's indispensable.

Yes, because when you have children, you don't have as much time as a single person would have. Yet having said that, as a single person, there's this myth that when you're single, you have more time. You don't, because you're doing everything yourself. You don't have any help. But the fact is that you can pull away and spend time reading. But if you have children, et cetera, just spend 10 minutes, even if it's 5. I challenge people just to get up 10 minutes early in the morning before the kids get up. Just 10 minutes earlier rather than hugging that pillow for 10 minutes extra. Just 10 minutes more. And then eventually you find you need more time. Oh, I can't stop talking to my lover, can't stop talking to my Lord. And that's the authority that the enemy doesn't like at all because then he knows we understand who we are in Christ. Then he does have a challenge hitting us. We can't, when, When we are who we are, we know when it's the enemy and when it's God. We know the voice of the enemy or God, and we know how to deal with the assignments of the enemy. Because until Christ comes, there are going to be challenges, whether single or married or divorced or widowed, or widow, there are going to be challenges throughout. Every day could be a challenge. But how we face that challenge, knowing that He says, "I am nearer than your elbow." Hey, y'all, it's almost that time.

Coffee with Chrystal at night is coming. It's the opportunity for you to join me in the room with thousands of other women where I talk about the word for the year and kick off the year with you together. Now, here's the thing. It's at night, 7 PM. It is free, but you do have to register. So go to chrystalevanshurst.com/coffee. Now, why do you need to be in the room, do you ask? Well, there are 3 reasons. Number 1, you need to be in the room so you can chair dance. Y'all, we're gonna play music and have a good time. Number 2, you want to be in the chat. It's all about the chat. And number 3, you want to make sure you are receiving a word of encouragement to kick off your year strong. So after the holidays, after the New Year, after you put up your tree, or maybe it's still up, it doesn't matter. Come join me in the room January 8th, 7 PM. I'll see you there. There are times when —when I've spent time in the word, there are times when I have prioritized my time with God, and then I get into a certain situation and it still feels hard. Yeah. Or I still feel alone, or I'm still praying and the answer is not coming. Um, how do you navigate those seasons when there's, there's nothing that you're supposed to do beyond what you've already done, but you still are feeling disconnected, alone, or despondent because you need an answer that you're not receiving.

And that happens. And then of course, when you get the answer you don't want, after you go through the wilderness and then you get the answer you don't want, it's no fun. Again, it comes from trust even in the darkness, because there are going to be darknesses. And I also love the fact that the word of God says, "He knows my frame and he remembers I'm made of dust." So sometimes I say to him, I'm so glad you know that I'm weak. I'm only strong in your strength. So take me through this valley. I don't mind being human. I don't mind facing him with my humanity because he understands.

At what point in your life, I know that you said you had this exchange, but when you look back, where would you say that you were consistently walking in spiritual authority, that you understood it and that you consistently walked in that?

I would say in the last number of years of my life, How many? What are we, 25? I have slowly grown into the process of what it looks like to walk with authority, and I'm sure that I have been helped by ministering, traveling and ministering, and having to listen to Him and having to hear what He wants me to say, or seeing Him use me in the way sometimes He uses me. And that has actually made me better in my relationship with Him and helping others.

So when you say the last few years of your life that you've been walking in spiritual authority, okay, you're going to be 80 this year. We're talking about the last 20 years?

Oh, oh, see, oh, you're counting the years. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I probably, probably when I hit my 60, the zero is. For some reason. So what was happening before that? I don't know. I try not to look back. It probably was a mess. I try not to look back. No, I'm just saying, like, when you said, like, you have the word of God in your heart, but you're living your, I think for me, perhaps again, I have to be careful because, because of my age, I have gone through processes of life that a younger person would not have. You would not have. And so how you would face situations in life would be different because I have been through those things and now I handle it differently. And so a younger person may not handle it the way I will handle it. And that's understood. It's like a child just starting to walk eventually. So the younger you are, it's not always possible to walk in the same authority because you're still growing. You're still growing in Him. And that comes from relationship with Him, really.

Do you think you could have had spiritual authority before 60?

Well, I would've liked to. I think it's because of my walk with him has changed. I think zeros, when I was 50, somehow the zero made a difference. And then 60, that zero made a difference, a greater difference. I think it was looking at life and thinking, what have I accomplished? What have I achieved? What have I achieved for the Lord? What, how am I growing? Or am I still walking in disobedience? Like Sunday, the word about the farmer I was saying earlier, the farmer and the seed. And I said to Jonathan, actually I'm the farmer holding the seed 'cause I've been walking in disobedience for the last 2 years. Yeah. So I'm the farmer holding the seed, waiting to see the harvest when I got the seed.

What's the seed that you've been holding onto for the last 2 years?

Just to begin doing ministry, to begin passing a baton. To other women and men who want to walk.

Why haven't you been doing that?

Finding excuses, finding reasons why this, this, I need to get this correct and I need to get that correct and I need to know how to do this. And so I just made a decision actually on Friday that that's it. When I get back to London, I'm simply going to get in touch with the 6 ladies and 1 guy, I think, who have been waiting for me to begin. And I'm just going to start by sending a Zoom link and saying, "This is the date, let's meet." So I'll sow my seed and see what God does with the harvest. Because I have been, so when Jonathan spoke on Sunday, it was just confirming that I am the farmer holding the seed.

So what do you think, I mean, again, I'm thinking about you saying, "I went to college, I had this disposition, I asked the Lord to give me something different." But then you have that, you have the word, you have then roughly 35, 40 years. So you're saying at 60, I've made the decision to walk more in spiritual authority. And what I heard you say is the middle was just being busy with life.

Yes, and you know, acknowledging who I am in him, acknowledging that I, I mean, your grandma didn't know. Every morning I get up, and I lay a tray. I have done, occasionally I've done life, single lifestyle teaching. I'm not that keen on doing it, but I have. And—

Why you don't wanna teach the singles?

I don't know. My pastor told me off and told me to get on with it and do it. So I did it for 13 years, but saw a lot of women actually get married. They weren't just our church. People were coming, women were coming from other, and men were coming from other churches. So one day I went to, remind me where my point is. But one day I went to stay in an inn outside of London, one of these lovely country inns outside of London, very small village. And the girl who took me to my room, a friend of mine, she said, there's somebody in the bar and he wants to meet you. And I thought, I haven't been in this area ever before, but a man wants to meet me in the bar, really? So I said, well, you're coming with me, aren't you? And she said, yes. She knew the story, I didn't. And I walked into the bar and he said to me, I am Malt. An Englishman just looked at me. He said, I am Malt. And I looked at him and I said, so, sorry, sir. I am Malt. And he repeated it. And then he saw my, I said, I don't understand. And he says, I used to come to your single program called SALT, Single and Living Triumphantly. Now I am married. So I am Malt. I'm married and living triumphantly. So it had an effect on people's lives. But some of them remember one of the things I said, when you wake in the morning, remember who you are, who you are in Christ. You're a princess. No matter what happens in the day, go from that structure to how you deal with the rest of the days on the basis of who you are. So I always have a tray with a tray cloth. And so your grandma made, traycloths for me, crocheted the edges and did appliques on it when she realized I was doing this. And every morning I would have my traycloth and I lay my tray for my breakfast. And if I have, I tend to always have fresh flowers. For me, it's a, for a single girl, I think is great because it just gives you hope kind of thing. So I'll take a flower and put it in a little vase and make my, get my breakfast ready. And then I sit and look at the news with my tray. So for me, that's how I kicked off the day.

So you were busy investing and developing, but you just don't feel like you owned it until '60?

Yes, I was just doing and living. I suppose that's when I believe God took me to another place, positioning in what he wanted me to do. And so, yes, I don't know. I don't have a date as to when that happened. I think I just It was just a natural growth process, I think. And I had great mentors, by the way. I had great mentors. I had great, and I tend to have men as my mentors, especially in ministry as a single woman. I have men as my mentors. And these are guys, men, my senior pastor, gone to be with the Lord now, but he was a mentor. The first time I told him that I feel the call of God on my life to be itinerant, and the first thing he said to me was, "How are you gonna live?" the father in him came out first, and then the pastor. And then he just told me how to go forward with it. And so I still have men who are my mentors. So yes, I think accountability is very important. Do you think it's possible?

I mean, 'cause you've said earlier, it takes time. You said for you, you felt like it's 60. It's not like you weren't doing things in your 30s, 40s, and 50s. It's not like you didn't know the word, Do you feel like there is a level of spiritual authority you can have earlier, and how do you fast forward that process? Can you fast forward it so that you operate earlier with a greater level?

From birth. From— when I say birth, I mean spiritual birth.

So if I'm already studying the Word, if I'm already going to church, if I'm already praying, what else do I do to deepen my sense of spiritual authority in my life?

I don't know. I can't say that I— this— For me, it was just my daily walk with the Lord. And one day I just saw that I had a gift, I had a birthright, and I was walking as though I was begging for the birthright. And as I said, I was walking as though I was a subject towards God, that everything I was begging him for, when I had the authority to say, Lord, may I have, like when I needed a car, Yeah. The difference. I need a car. I, instead of just saying, Lord, I need a car, I decided, okay, I have the right to ask for the car and ask for what car I want. So I did. I asked for 4 doors, central locking. This is England, so it's a different kind of cars. Central locking, automatic, all the things I asked precisely. And then I said, and a female dashboard because you made me female. To this day, people say to me, what does that mean? I had no idea, but I just said it. Just being Ruth Ann, I just said, and a female dashboard. I got, so then I go shopping for a car, a secondhand car, and every, I wanted red. Every red car I sat in had a little something wrong with it. But I sat in a green, the same brand, same name, same car, green. I knew I was at home. And I said to the Lord, really green? So I got the things I asked for, but he chose, in a sense, he chose the color. So So now I say to him, if I need a new car, you can choose the color because I don't get away with this. But the fact is I decided that I was, or out of my relationship with him, I could be precise. So when we pray, we can actually be precise because he says, what do you want? The man at the pool of Bethsaida, he saw the man couldn't get into the pool. He saw. What was going on, and yet he said to him, what do you want? So he wants us to engage with him. He wants us to be part of the journey with him, or else he would just give us whatever we want. We ask for a cup, the cup appears. We ask for a glass, a glass. But he doesn't want to do that. He wants us to be part of the journey with him and recognize that we are free to do that. He may be, he is sovereign, but it doesn't mean I can't walk with him. And I can't call him Daddy, and I can't say from time to time, I'm sorry I failed, I'm sorry I've been naughty. As I say to him sometimes, your word says you know what I'm about to think before I think it, so why didn't you change that? Because now I have to say I'm sorry and apologize.

Well, what about when you're asking for something and he doesn't answer? I mean, I know I heard you earlier and you said, you know, so I mean, like, just keeping it real, You came, Mommy was sick, everybody was praying, you prayed. And so like you're saying, like, what do I do when I have to say I'm sorry? What do you do when it's not that you're sorry, you're just, as much as you're praying and you're walking in spiritual authority, God doesn't give it to you and you don't understand?

I don't. But what happened was, I remember one day, because your mom called me and said, please get your prayer warriors together, because she knows I have those. And that's another thing in prayer, we pray with spiritual authority because a prayer warrior prays differently. As I said to a mother on one of your platforms years ago, love your child as a mother, but when you pray, you become a warrior. That takes down the enemies. The thing is, is understanding that when we pray, or rather when we walk in authority, we're actually, God is giving us the right to use His authority because the enemy can't get in if we use His authority. Because the enemy recognizes the authority of God, not my authority, but the authority of Christ. So if I just speak as though I have authority, the enemy just goes, "Oh, rubbish," kind of thing. But if I do have the authority, then I recognize who I am in Christ, then it's different. But with your mom, we were praying and I gave them a song. I said, "We are going to do," do a prayer march and the song would be "Raise a Hallelujah." So we were singing the song and marching and praying for your mom. When I came, we were still doing that. But then it got to the point in her journey that I called the prayer, I texted the prayer warriors and I said, "We don't need a healing now. We need to pray for a miracle. It's changed because what I'm looking at is not a healing anymore, it's a miracle." And so we began that. But then one day I left your home and I drove, I was a mess driving home. I just, I thank the Lord for taking me home safely. And I dropped on my knees in Travail. And the first thing I remember thinking is, you're on your knees because I haven't knelt to pray for years because my knees are not good. And I just dropped on my knees and I cried out to God. And I said, you have heard us praying, you have. And your word says when we pray, you hear and you answer. So I have to believe that not only have we prayed, but you have heard our prayers. You've seen the people walking around the house. You've seen us marching in London. You've seen the prayers around the world. And so you have already answered. So what is your answer? We now need to see your answer. And then I remembered the story of Daniel when God said the answer, when the angel came and said, your answer was the first day you prayed, but the King of Persia and the demonic forces blocked the answer. And the enemy will always try to block what God has for us anyway. So I just said what I'm looking at, Lord, what I'm looking at belongs to the King of Persia. And the demonic forces, please show me your answer. And I got up off my knees and as I moved, the Spirit of God said, 2 more days. Then you said to me after your mom was in glory that your mom said, they said 2 more days. And you said to me, why didn't you tell us? And I said, how do I tell you your mother will be going glory in 2 days? But the Lord told me, and that's when I got up and went to buy a dress. I called one of the girls and I said, let's go and get a dress because I couldn't come prepared for that. I come prepared for life. So until God showed me different, and then when he said it, he gave me an immense peace that he was in control. And that's something we have, that also happens, I think in our journey is that when he, even if the answer he gives, is not the answer we want. Like when the answer for me was not to marry the man I was about to marry. Okay, I mean, it's now since the '70s, but the fact, and I still didn't know I would be single to this day, but I knew then I had to say, go with God's no. But the fact is I could have gone with his, I mean, I could have just gone forward. We knew each other for 3 years, so I just could have said to the Lord, well, stuff you, I'm gonna marry him. I've known him, you didn't do anything for 3 years, but that's it. But the fact is, there was a witness in my spirit, and that comes from intimacy, that said God was saying no. Was that easy? No. We were together for 3 years. We knew each other for 3 years, and this was now the 4th year. And not only did God stop the journey, he took me back to England to stop the journey here. So sometimes he would change the process of our walk, like he did with the children of Israel. They ended up in the wilderness for 40 years. He will change the process just to get you to understand he is saying no. But am I in a relationship with him that I'm willing to accept his nos as well?

But I think the hard part about walking in spiritual authority is because you assume— I never forget, I was dating a guy, and the mother, her husband one day, who drove a truck for a living, he fell asleep at the wheel and he dropped off the bridge. And she said, I went over to her house, very sweet lady, and she said, I just asked the Lord, with the kind of relationship that we have, why didn't you warn me? Why didn't you tell me? Even if even if it wasn't going to change what happened, just to prepare me that I was getting close to losing him. And one of her questions was, I thought with the level of connection that I have to God, that that's something I would have received, you know what I'm saying? And so whether it's a prayer that goes unanswered or it's a, it's a knowing that you feel like you would have, that things catch you off guard and like, I'm walking with the Lord but you didn't tell me this, How do I not question my level of spiritual connection to God or authority when the person does die, or when the hard thing does come, or when this catches me off guard? Because, you know, if I have a relationship with a person and they act outside of themselves, or we're together but they didn't tell me— so Jesse and I went on our honeymoon We were going on a boat ride and, um, uh, we got to the boat ride and I was just looking like, we didn't eat breakfast. Like, now you're about to take me out on the seas, I didn't eat breakfast. Well, I know now that the, the boat ride included like a breakfast and a lunch and all that, but I was thinking like, you got me out here hungry, you know what I mean? And so I'm getting to know him, but there have been times since being married, so now I know, okay, he's going to think about things. So we've gotten we know each other. But then there are times when I'm like, it's the same thing in reverse, right? It's like, I, I know that you can, I know that you can plan ahead, I know that you can think about these things in advance, but here we are out here looking at a car or something, you know, and I'm starving. It's like, you didn't think about that? So you can know someone and still be surprised. Yes. That there's information or intel you don't have. Yes. And so when in my relationship with the Lord, especially if I'm mature with the Lord, and I'm caught off guard by something he didn't do or didn't provide or didn't answer, that rocks your confidence. What do you do then? Because I think a lot of people, you know, whether you look at COVID or you look at just the unexpected things even that are happening right now culturally, we just don't see it coming. There's so many things that are happening left and right, and people are like, I thought, I thought we were in relationship.

Well, first of all, I don't have the answer to everything, but I do believe—

Sure you do, you're Arut.

But I do believe that there are times when you just have to say, Lord, all I've got is you. I don't understand, but I'm gonna hold on to you. The worst thing to do is to feel that we can just— I think it's sad when someone just— One girl I'm keeping an eye on right now, and she's pretty much in a rocky place because the Lord hasn't provided her with a mate, and all her friends have married. And of course, when a friend marries, they sort of forget the single ones, which they shouldn't. Please don't forget your single friends, and don't invite a male to make her feel comfortable. She's quite comfortable being in a house with, 'cause I'm quite comfortable being with my married friends. But for some reason, one of my married friends said to me the other day, I went to the house and I said, well, this is the first time I've come to your home. They've been married for some time. And she says, no. And I said, yes, 'cause you only invite your married friends. And they just don't think that a single person also needs to see what marriage looks like. Because her friends are married and she's still single, she obviously has a problem with God because he hasn't answered her prayer. And so instead of moving closer to him, she's moving away from him. There are going to be hits, there are going to be difficulties, but I also know friends who move closer to God. They don't understand and they're still crying every day, but they move closer to him. And that's trusting the person, the only person who you can trust because with him there's no variance. His yes is yes and his no is no. So they move closer to him. In spite of the pain. But there are those who move away from him. And that's sad because to move away from him, you hurt more. You can't hurt him because he still loves you the same way, but you hurt more because you're pulling away from your source. And so then they become discouraged and all the other things begin to happen and they begin to fall apart and they continue in all of that blaming God and seeing God as the person that's, because this hasn't happened, this is why I'm here. But actually they have moved. Away from the source. They've moved away from their strength. They've moved away from the one who can cry with them, as it were. And so one of my friends, I've just, every so often I meet with her and she always takes me to a meal, which is lovely. And she insists on paying for the meal. And she knows I love nice food, nice meal, nice foods. Because in Europe, in England, we eat all kinds of food. So sometimes we go to, what you call it, a German. She knows I love Wiener Schnitzel. So we go to a German restaurant or we go to an Austrian restaurant. They also do Wiener Schnitzel and we just have fun together. And I don't always speak about the kingdom. I just want to be her friend, but I keep being her friend. I want sometimes when we see someone drifting from the Lord, the thing is not to just stay with the ones who are firm in the Lord, it's actually to stay with that person and to just be a friend. 'Cause sometimes that's all they need is a friend, somebody who cares for them. And then occasionally I would say to her, "Where are you fellowshipping?" or something like that. And now she's living in another country. She's decided to go to another country. But I was so happy when she fell in, was able to do the thing that gives her such joy, which has nothing to do with Christianity, but something that is wholesome, but it gives her great joy. And she is in love with it. Doing that with great love for horses. And so she's moved to this country, but she's also now back in fellowship. And I'm so grateful to the Lord that he taught me how to be patient with her, not to keep saying, "Why aren't you in church?

Why aren't you doing this?" So moving closer, even when you feel like you wanna move away. That's when— Moving away is not an answer.

But the thing is, moving closer is the only answer. Yeah. Because he's the one who said, If we trust him, that's it. If we see him as just God and my Savior and my Lord and not see him as a father. And maybe for some women, since the podcast is mainly for women, so some women, they haven't had a dad. Mm-hmm. They don't know the love of a father. And so therefore there's the struggle of how can God love me when my own father doesn't love me? And so, If there are persons like that, they need to find someone who would help them to understand what it is to have the Father God as their Father, the Father of all fathers. But some girls don't wanna hear that. Yeah. And I know that, and I've been there. They don't wanna hear God is the God of all fathers. They want a father and they haven't had a physical father. And so they struggle with how can I trust God as my Father when I couldn't trust my father? And that's not an easy journey. It is a journey for women to get, for anyone, really, to get to that point where they see God as Father.

Hey there, I hope you are enjoying this podcast. I'm breaking in because I want to make sure that you know, in the Inner Circle in 2026, we are focused on remembering you. That's what we're doing to kick off the year. Why? Because the whole year is about abundance and overflow. And before we can get to what's available. We have to figure out where you are, where you are with what you hold in your hand, your gifts, the opportunities, and the things that God has put in your heart and in your life to do. So if you want to do that work with us to excavate what's actually available in your life that you can offer to God for what he wants to do in the future, come join me in the Inner Circle where we can remember you. You can go to thesistercircle.com/innercircle to find out more about supporting the content that I put out there. While you also put yourself in a situation where you can grow. I hope to see you inside of the Inner Circle in 2026. When did you find that you were settled and fine not being married?

Oh, I was wondering if that was gonna come up. Oh, I suppose it was a gradual thing. I was, I was in my, I was 31. When I knew that was not the person I should marry. I was 31. I did have 2 proposals before that, but to both, I had no intentions of marrying either of them. That was rubbish. That was really out of the, that was out of the question. The first one, I was 17. I didn't know who I was. Why would I want to do what? But 31 is, that's okay. But 31, I knew what I was doing. I literally, I mean, it was a journey for me. Anyway, to get to that point where I realized that this was the person I could spend the rest of my life with, it was a journey for me. And that's another story, but it was a journey. And so when I went this whole journey, that's why it was so confusing that God then said no. But I was 42, sorry, 31 when this happened. That's why you didn't marry that guy.

Yes, but I'm saying like, overarchingly, like, you know what, God, I'm good if I don't get married.

No, I never did that. This is funny. I'm asked this question quite frequently. I've never heard God say to me, I want you to be a single. And I've never asked, I've never said that to him. I simply am. I have learned a different journey. And I learned it from that day. Once I recovered from the pain, 'cause I was not happy with God. Really when that happened. I really, he had a journey with me to get me. I'm glad that he has a sense of humor because I was not cool. I said a lot of stuff. But the fact is, I loved the fact that he just let me walk it. And then he drew me back to himself, that I knew it was his love for me that said no. A year after he showed me the bomb he saved me from, But I have never said to the Lord, "Here's my singleness." I have never done that. People think I have, but I haven't. But I decided the only way for me to live until, 'cause I didn't know I'd still be single, the only way for me to live until was to choose every day to be content. And if I live in that contentment every day and the value of who I am in him, That helped me in my journey one day at a time. And that's another thing, we need to take a day at a time. Yeah, it's hard to think about the whole thing. Yes, I mean, if you do, in England, I don't know many people who do journals, but in America, you journal a lot. You talk a lot. We don't talk a lot. Y'all don't talk.

We just talk. You don't journal, you just talk.

Talk, don't journal.

Just friendship, not therapy. Yes. But yes. That's another thing we do.

Therapy. Yes, you're very much into therapy.

Americans in general.

Yes, I don't know many. I don't have friends in England who are in therapy. We just find another way. I don't know.

We talk over tea. We talk over tea.

And if, and yeah, or yes, well, yes, there's some level of therapy in the sense of counseling. But I just decided that the only way I can do this is one day at a time. We seek to do too much, too fast. We want what we write in the journal to manifest. But the journal is for me. It's not for God to manifest. So if I write the journal as for me, then that's fine. And my relationships and my relationship with him, that's fine. But he's not journaling with me in that way. He's only seeing destiny. This is the thing for me. I feel we're in a season that as a church, as the church, I mean universally.

Globally, yeah.

Where the enemy is seeking to steal the destinies God has for us. That's what made me become, shift into this positioning. He's seeking to steal the destinies because his time is coming to an end. He doesn't want us to walk in the destinies of God. He's quite happy if we do stuff. He's quite happy if we do ministry. And we're in the choir and all that stuff. He doesn't care. But if you move into your destiny, that's where I saw the danger that the enemy had over my life. When I started decision to walk in destiny, then the enemy tried to steal it, and he will.

So after you broke up with the guy in your 30s, you never said, I'm good being single, I want to be single, I don't expect the Lord, I don't expect that the Lord won't bring someone into my life. You just at that point said, okay, I'm gonna walk day by day in whatever he has for me.

Once I walked with him through that, I think it took me about a year to fully recover. I never left his side, but it took me a year to recover and try to understand why he did it that way. But I wasn't listening. Sometimes we're not listening, so he has to hit us over the head to get us to listen. And then we think, oh God, why did you do that? Well, I've been talking to you for days. You just haven't been listening. So now I have to push the door. It's one of the ladies at some, after gathering of the girls, she's asked if I would pray with her. And this doesn't happen very often for me. The brethren in me doesn't make it happen very easy. So when the Lord shows me a picture, it's very clear. And I said to her, the Lord is standing behind the door. Whatever this door is you want to open in your life, I see him standing behind the door waiting for you to open it. And it's knowing that that's when we pray, he is waiting for us to open, to take the first step, and then he engages, because then that's trust. Yeah. But no, I have never said to the Lord, I don't, I literally, I mean, even to this day, I have never said to God, no. I mean, as I say sometimes, my hormones still exist. They haven't died. Your hormones? My hormones, they die with me. While I'm still alive, I still have hormones and they're still in position. They haven't moved positioning. So I have to go to him. No, I have to say, there are times when I just say, Lord, you created me this way, created me, your word says, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. So here, you better deal with this emotion. Right now. Yeah. Yeah. As I say, you know, I may not be discoing right now, but I'm still doing a walls. The hormones are still doing a walls. So I have to deal with that. And the thing is, when young women pray when they're in their season, it's wrong. When they're praying for men, they feel lonely as a single in pure times of the month, et cetera. That's not the time to pray. You'll get a lustful person. Because the enemy will answer that prayer. You wait until the king shows you. And actually ask God to get the guy to be praying for you, for his wife. And that's another thing. In church life today, the guys are not being, as far as I'm concerned, they need help. And they may be born again, but their character needs a lot of attention. And the leaders need to be doing something about that. These guys, it's not their fault. Many of them are without fathers as well, except, but it's not their fault. They just don't know how to treat a girl. They don't. So if I meet a guy— don't get me going there, so I'm stopped. No, I wanted to go— you can go further.

No, but if I meet a guy and he is seeking after God, and whether it's because he didn't grow up in a church, I mean, didn't grow up in church, didn't grow up in a home that learned the Word, or maybe he got saved later than I did, and I as a woman have a greater level of spiritual maturity and authority that I'm used to walking in.

Is that a mismatch? I don't think so. I've seen that happen, and I've just said to the girl, just pray that God speeds up his growth, and the Lord does. At least the Lord did. It's a one-to-one thing, but the Lord speeded up the growth if that person is right. For you. If the woman is stronger in the Lord, the thing is women have become, I'm sure you've discovered this and most women will have, that there's been a topple. The enemy has toppled things so that women have become strong and men have become weakened in a sense in church life today. At least maybe I'm the only one that sees it in England, but this is what's happening. So women have, they have their jobs, they're managers, they're this and they're that, and the guy is still going to school. And that's incorrect because you can't, there are things, certain things that need to be in sync. Level of spirituality is important, but you have to have something you can converse about. You have something common, you have to have at least 3 common grounds that you can move forward in. But if a girl is desperate to be married, she would marry somebody who's weak and that's wrong. But the guy needs to show some, he can't be head of the home if he's not, he doesn't have something to be head of the home because she's not supposed to be the head at home. She robs him of his ability to fulfill God's destiny for him or what God is directing him to be as a husband, he can't be if she's strong.

Have you been told, not in a marital sense, but maybe in a personality sense or in a spiritual authority sense that you were too strong?

No, I'm not. No, never. I don't think I am. Really? Yeah, I don't think I am.

Now I'm asking, has anybody ever said that to you?

No, no. I haven't had anyone, because if I'm not speaking, I tend to be, well, you know, I tend to just be quiet most of the time. If I'm speaking, something else happens. But the Lord, the Holy Spirit just takes over, I suppose. But if I'm not, I can sit in a room and say very little. Not because I'm, not because I feel I can't speak. It's just my personality is different to when I'm speaking. I mean, even now, I mean, as you said, my age, and I have friends in England, one friend in particular who says, well, I'm still praying you have a husband. I said, why? At my age? Why do you, you need to ask me if I want that. I don't think now I would want that. But it's not that I've said to the Lord, you can have my singleness. I have never, I wouldn't do that 'cause I don't know what God has for me. I don't want to be robbed of what God has for me. But at the same time, he knows me well enough to know that would be an incredible challenge because I have become so independent. That would be an incredible challenge to cross that. But I have said him in the past, if you are going to do that, you have to change me. See, that's another thing. Women say, change him. But what's her name? Lisa Bevere, in her book, and telling the story of her and John and their season of battling as a husband and wife. And she said when she prayed and asked God to change him, God said, but I want to change you. And the same he did. And so now if I'm doing marriage counseling, I actually say, you stop praying that God will change him. Pray that God will change you. Yeah. And he will change him because he can do that. The thing is remembering also that the Lord has died for all the things of our past and the things that are happening that are negative. He can't go to the negative to bring the positive. He goes from my desire to be positive to take me into positivity. So we have to actually cross, start crossing the bridge and then he helps us across. But people expect him to come, I'm in pain, my husband is da da da, come and sort him out. Well, he's already died for that. But if I say, Lord, change me, then the Holy Spirit goes, right, I can do that. I can change you and him. That's good.

I know that you're gonna be doing some coaching for women in spiritual authority. And I know that you said passing things on, but if there was one thing that you would want someone who's watching this and intrigued with the development of their own spiritual authority, their growth in the spiritual authority, understanding it, what would be the one thing that you'd want them to know?

Godi, that the Lord loves them to distraction. He loves us to distraction. He's besotted by us. In Zephaniah, he says he sings over us. And it's to know how precious we are to him. That helps me in my journey with him. If I'm precious to him, then he treats me from that perspective. So sometimes it's going to be good, other times it's going to be a slap, but it's because I'm precious. So I have learned in my journey, especially as I said, from my 60s, I think, I don't know why I said that because I can't validate that. But nonetheless, I feel that's when It happened because I shifted, certain things in my life shifted. But I know that I am free to be me because of a God who loves me more than I could love him. Yeah, it's so good. So good. Hopefully.

This is great. Oh, it is. This is great. I just think so many women, and you know this, so many women are like, I just wish that somebody older and wiser that's walked with the Lord would just tell me how to do it. Just tell me how to do it. I know that you've availed yourself in many ways over the years.

Yes, but it has to come from a different place. When you say, how do I do it?

Yeah. What does it look like for you or how did it work for you?

What, for me?

No, I'm just saying people want to know that. And so I feel like in this conversation you've spelled that out. Yes.

If somebody says to me how, yeah, I can't make, I can't, I have this thing when people come up to me after a speaking engagement or something and say, would you, do you have a word for me? My first comment is no. I used to shuffle with that and wasn't sure if I should be spiritual about it. Yeah. But quite frankly, no. I've just finished speaking. My adrenaline is dropping. If I call you forward for ministry, come then. If you come after that, I have nothing to give.

She said, "Come to the altar or don't come at all." Yeah, I have nothing to give.

'Cause once I step down from that authority, I really am drained. So when people say, "Will you pray?" And there's always somebody who will wait. And so I say it now, please come now if you'd like prayer. Or ministry, I'm happy to do it. But please don't come when I'm changing my shoes and putting on my flats because I really have not. And then the other thing that concerns me is when people say, has God given you a word for me? I don't say what I want to say, but I want to say, no, do you have a word for me? Because you need to be listening. And that's the key thing, I think, in intimacy with the Lord is learning the listening game. I love, I enjoy solemn assembly, the quiet, but then I love going away for a week or so after that. Yeah. And just listening. Your dad's book, one of his recent books that he said to me, are you still in that chapter? Are you still talking about that? Where the Holy Spirit is like a dove. That meant so much to me because I spent a whole week just on trying to understand the Holy Spirit as a dove. And I don't know if you see white doves here, but in England we do. There's a lovely little hotel I love to stay at. One of my treats as a single person, when I can afford to, is staying in a hotel for 2 nights. Girls, if you haven't done it, you need to do it. It's wonderful. And that's another thing, when you're single, treat yourself. Do things that are fun. Learn to go to the theater if you haven't been before. Learn to have a cup of— I can go out now and have a 3-course meal and be totally happy. Just, if you can't do it, just have a cup of coffee and leave, and then a cup of coffee with a cake. And eventually, in other words, you don't have to do everything as you see others do it. Just start at your pace. And increase it. But I was staying in one of these lovely places you guys sent when I was for my study. Oh, yeah. And there are white doves in this place. And as soon as I entered the room, the doves flew away. Because as soon as you move, the dove moves. And I understood what Artie Kendall was saying in his book about the dove flies away. Doesn't mean the Holy Spirit leaves. But he, yeah, he leaves you to yourself. You get on with stuff. Since you know better, I'm over here, kind of thing. But he hasn't gone. But your dad and the dove, I needed to be reacquainted with the voice of the Holy Spirit again. And that I only did last year, being reacquainted with the voice of the Holy Spirit. And that takes, to not speak and just listen, it's quite an exercise. Yeah. And yet it's the one where we hear his voice, or we become, we are able to distinguish between his voice and other voices. Yeah. That's good.

Thanks for joining me. Any day. Making space on the day before you leave to go back home.

Oh, it's a joy. Thank you.