Imposter Syndrome
Chrystal Hurst explains imposter syndrome as a common feeling that signals growth, connecting it to biblical figures like Moses and Esther who doubted their qualifications. She shares personal stories from her work as a writer and speaker, then introduces the idea of "putting on a uniform" to step into a role despite internal doubts, with the core antidote being to repeatedly claim your true identity in Christ.
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Have you ever been afraid that you weren't supposed to be where you are, where you weren't good enough to be there, and somebody was going to find you out? Well, that's called imposter syndrome, and I want to talk about that today. Hi, my name is Chrystal Hurst, and I'm glad you're joining me here. Every Sunday night I release a video on YouTube and Facebook, and I do that so that I can share content that helps you to live life well, that helps you to live life with little regret, and then helps you to recognize that the big moments in life are really made in the small moments. So you have to live those small moments with intention. And I usually record these videos live with my whole inner circle, or with a segment of them, and we have a little fun and foolery before and some Q&A and connection after. And what you're getting here is the buttoned-up edited version. I'm glad you're here. Let me ask you now, if you're not subscribed to the YouTube channel or you're not following me on Facebook, do it right now so that you won't miss any other content that I share in the future. I want to talk today about imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is something that happens when you feel Like, I hope they don't recognize that I don't have the right to be here, that I don't have what it takes, but I hope people don't find out. It is showing up to a certain place in your life and thinking that you don't belong and that everybody else does but you, that you're missing something everyone else has, that you don't know what you're doing, and you hope that you're doing well enough to be able to pull the wool over everybody's eyes because everyone else knows what they're doing but you. The first thing you need to understand is that if imposter syndrome is something that you have felt, and we'll talk a little bit more about what it looks like, you are not the only person who's experiencing it. This is not the only time you have experienced it, and it's not the last time you will either. The good thing to know is that imposter syndrome is usually an indication of something that you need, something that you need that confirms who you are, something that you need, where you need to just walk in fear even though you're not sure that you have the, the fortitude to do it. You walk in faith despite the fear. You just keep going. It's a sign that you're doing the right thing, and it's also a signal that you're human. If you don't feel imposter syndrome ever, then you're probably an extremely cocky person who is totally unaware of your own weaknesses. We all have weaknesses. We all have places that we can grow. We all have areas in which we can develop. And so when you find yourself thinking, do I belong here? Do I have what it takes? That's a human response to having never done something before, having never, uh, experienced something before, or not knowing for sure that you're going to be successful. And that's okay. The American Psychological Association, the APA, says that imposter syndrome occurs when someone is unable to internalize and accept their success. They often attribute the success they experience, that they're hoping to experience, that they're working to experience, to luck rather than an actual ability or talent. And they live in fear that others will eventually learn they are a fraud. This sometimes happens if you receive an award, or maybe you get a promotion, or maybe there's some kind of recognition and the light burns. So when you are not actually cool with who you are and what you're doing, when someone shines a light on you, then you feel uncomfortable. And this is true, especially if you don't think you deserve whatever it is that you got. Here's the thing, you don't want— I don't want to be seen when we feel less than. Think about Adam and Eve in the garden, right? They'd sinned, they put on those fig leaves, God shows up and he says, Who told you you were naked? We don't have the right to be here anymore, so we have to cover up and hope that we're not found out. That was the case then, it's still the case now. But here's the problem: if you succumb to this idea of imposter syndrome when you really should be walking in your calling, when you should be walking in your gifting, when you do have an ability, when you are working to build a skill when you shrink back because of this feeling of imposter syndrome, you will shrink back from the very thing, from the very thing that you are growing, developing, nurturing, and building. And you may not be there yet, but if you shrink back because of the feeling, you might never arrive, might never arrive. So it's so important that you learn to call out the greatness in you, and that you don't allow the feeling— because that's what it is, it's a feeling— of imposter syndrome to tell you something about yourself that's not true. The whole point, the whole point of you having to do brave things in this world, of you having to do things for the first time, of you having to be courageous and try new things or burst through the glass ceiling or go through a wall that you have seen, that you've, you've thought for a long time in your marriage, in your church, in your job, in your community, that this is a barrier for me. The whole feeling that you have, like it's a physical feeling, the whole feeling that you have that says I can't do it, or I did it once, can I do it again? That is imposter syndrome. When you actually look at yourself and you're doing it Here's the thing about imposter syndrome: it will tell you you're not doing it when you are. That's the thing. You may not be finished, but you'll be in process. The only way that you'll feel like an imposter is if you're actually doing the thing that you're not sure you have the right identity to do. It's like such a ridiculous circular reasoning kind of lie, because the very feeling that you have of imposter syndrome says, I'm actually doing it and I'm not sure I'm qualified. But if you're actually doing it, then you are qualified because you're already in motion. Do you see how ridiculous it is? And yet, and still, we feel it. And because we feel it, the problem is will allow the feeling of imposter syndrome to stop us from doing whatever it is that we should continue doing because we're already doing it. All right. People who experience imposter syndrome believe that they shouldn't receive an achievement, that they shouldn't be able to move forward because they're waiting and they need so badly the esteem of other people. They feel like as they compare themselves to other people that they're not as competent, that they're not as intelligent, that they are not as prepared as other people. And those people, whoever those people are, will find out the truth, and then you'll be standing there naked and ashamed. Now, this is prevalent among women for sure, because we are always comparing ourselves to other people. It is prevalent around women of color because there are historically more walls, more ceilings, more firsts. And you have to know that this is going to happen. It's going to happen to all of us. But here's the first thing I want to tell you. First of all, I need you to prioritize telling yourself what's true. There is a monster in your mind. I talk about this in my book, She's Still There. That will convince you about monsters in the closet that don't even exist. But you will orient your whole situation to the thing that you're afraid of that's in the closet, that never comes out, that never causes you harm, that never, uh, causes destruction. But you will orient your whole situation to the thing that you're afraid of. It's a monster in your mind, okay? You have to first decide to tell yourself the truth regularly, ongoingly. You have to decide to act on the truth. And what truth am I talking about? The truth of who you are. I've said it before, I'll say it again: there has never been nor will there ever be someone just like you. This means that if you feel on your insides, if the opportunity on your outsides, if your mind and your mouth and your, and your, and your soul, if God, the Holy Spirit in you is guiding you somewhere, if you went to school to do it and you're doing it, if God said do it and you're doing it, if you feel passionate about doing it, so you're doing it. If you just wanted to try it, so you're doing it. If you have been drawn into the next thing, whatever that thing is, you have to tell yourself, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I am qualified. I am capable. Ephesians chapter 1 gives a whole list of things that you can bank on. You are blessed, you are chosen, you are accepted, you are adopted, you are forgiven. Peter says we have been given everything we need, everything we need. So when you have imposter syndrome set in, into the thing that you're already doing, okay, you have to remind yourself about your identity. So before I even get into Uh, talking about some practical ways to deal with imposter syndrome. And we will, I'm going to actually do a second talk and I'll reference that second talk here as soon as it's up and ready. But the reality is before we even get to the tactics, the specific tactics, the one tactic that matters, the one thing that will always be the thing you have to do is remind yourself of who you are. You are uniquely designed. There's never been, nor will there ever be, someone just like you. So what this means is when you've been drawn into something because you followed your educational path, when you've been called into something because you prayed about it and God wouldn't— he wouldn't stop saying the same thing over and over again to you, when you continue to be drawn based on your passions into an area of work or volunteer service, when you find that you are setting your soul on fire by showing up every day to that job or ministering to your family in your home or giving to people or making wealth, whatever it is that your hands are doing, and you find yourself doing it and feeling like something's wrong here. In that moment, your number one ammo is to tell yourself, nope, I'm supposed to be here. I'm already here. I'm already doing it. Can I learn? Yes. Can I go higher? Sure. Are there people who know more? Probably. Does that have anything to do with whether I'm doing it right now? Absolutely not. Can I get better? 100%. Can I go higher? You bet your bottom dollar. You have to find a way to coax yourself into identity. I'm Chrystal Hurst. I'm a wonderfully designed work of art. There has never been nor will there ever be someone just like me. And if I'm already here doing what I need to do, if I've already taken a step then all I need to do is continue doing what I already knew to do. Press through the imposter feeling. It is a feeling, it is not a fact. It is not about, uh, uh, it is not about your faith. It is not about your feet. It is a feeling. That's all it is. But if you allow the feelings of everyone else has something besides me, everybody's further than me, Somebody's gonna find out I'm not supposed to be here. You will cut off the process of your development because you do need to develop. The mere fact that you feel like an imposter says, I'm not sure I'm showing up and doing the best I can, or the best someone can. Someone can do it better than me. That mere feeling says you need to buckle down and tell yourself you're right where you need to be. Now, let me talk a little bit about my personal imposter syndrome stories. I have a few. I have a few. Okay, let me give you an example. I am a writer. That is my identity statement. Even as I say it, y'all, my skin is crawling. Do you know how many people I know that have written books? Like 60 books. My dad has written 100 books. You know how many people I know that have written 25 books? Do you know how many people who write a book every other year who don't seem to struggle like I struggle to put words down on paper? Totally, totally. I feel like I'm an imposter. How can I say I'm a writer when there are so many people who've done so much more than me, who write so much better than me? I'm riveted when I read their books. How can I say I'm a writer when I struggle to put the words down on a page? Surely the people that I think are really writers writers don't have to struggle like I do. Okay, some don't, but a lot of them do. But even if none of them did, if I struggle to put my words down on paper and they end up on paper, and then there are 4 books that have my name on them, I am a doggone writer. If I've had a blog that has been publishing blogs, honestly If I go back to the very beginning, I've been publishing blog posts for like 15 years, stopping and starting along the way. I am a writer. I have a book on my shelf. When I was in Talented and Gifted in the first grade and we wrote a book, I have my words and my first grade handwriting on construction paper. The book is cardboard taped together with the clear packing tape. That was my first book. I've been a writer since I was in elementary school, and I still feel like, oh my gosh, I can't even say I'm a writer because what kind of writer struggles to write, ah, or has only really written 4 books? 2 of those were like pen to paper. Like, there are writers who sit down and they just churn it out. I'm not a writer. Do you see what imposter syndrome looks like? And do you see what you do to deal with it? I am a writer. I am a speaker. I speak, minus COVID, 20 to 25 times a year at least. That does not include the other anywhere from 5 to 15 times I speak at my church. I am a speaker. But let me just tell you, oh my God, Whenever I go out on a stage to speak, I would say 85% of the time I am working my hands like this on the side of my thigh. I am thinking, I don't know what I'm talking about. This message is so impotent, it's not going to do anything to change anyone's life. It's too motivational, it's too inspirational. I don't have enough scriptures, I have too many scriptures. Do I have any sticky statements? Is this going to be quotable? Am I going to be able to keep their attention? Am I going to be able to talk 45 minutes? Am I going to be able to limit myself to 45 minutes? Oh my goodness, who did they have here last year? Who was on stage before me? And right there on the side of the stage, I am struggling with identifying as a speaker when I have been called in, flown in, contract signed to walk out onto that stage and speak. I spoke this year and, um, 2 years ago to a group of almost 10,000 women. I am a speaker. They wouldn't have called me if I didn't know what I was doing, or if I didn't have the ability to stand in front of that stage. They wouldn't have trusted me with that opportunity. But yet and still, I stand on the side of the stage telling myself about all the things I don't think I'm good at, even though I'm already doing it. I am a speaker, but that does not mean that I always feel like I am. So right then and there, I literally have to tell myself, put it on, Chrystal, put it on. I have a friend who has said to me before, Chrystal, there's like two versions of the speaker Chrystal. Like, there's a very quiet, and I want to make sure that you all understand and hear me, and and it's passionate and it's wise and it's comforting and caring and approachable. And then there is the dogmatic— I believe what I'm saying. You're gonna hear me and I'm gonna make sure that this message sticks. I'm gonna make you laugh, I'm gonna make you cry, I'm gonna make sure that you know what I study, that I can turn this thing inside out so that it will be life-changing for you. And I believe that what I'm saying can be life-changing. She said, why are there two? And I said, 'Cause one girl put on the speaker uniform and the other one didn't.' Beating imposter syndrome is like putting on a uniform. I can say all day long I'm not a Chick-fil-A employee until I go to work and put on my Chick-fil-A uniform and put on my Chick-fil-A name tag. And then whether I feel like I'm a Chick-fil-A employee or not, putting on the uniform gives me the license to stand behind the counter and take your order. My pleasure. There are some times in your life where you just have to put on the uniform. What does it look like? What would a speaker look like right now? What is the speaker who I am when I'm in my bathroom in front of the mirror and I'm talking to myself? Yes, I do do that sometimes. What does that speaker look like when she's really not afraid of what the people will think? That's the uniform. What is the uniform of the writer? Okay, the uniform of the writers— I don't care what they say about my sweater that has a hole in it. I'm gonna put that sweater on. I'm gonna go take my laptop to my favorite coffee shop. I'm gonna sit at my table. I'm gonna get all of my books around me. I'm gonna read all the things. I'm gonna process. I'm gonna research. And I don't care what other people do to get ready for their books. I know what I have to do. I have to go deep. I have to be honest. I have to tell the truth. I have to journal. I have to talk to friends. I have to do all these things. I have to research. I have to take notes because I want what I to not just be based on my feeling but to be based on fact. I want it to make sense. I want it to be healing. I want it to be delivering. And I gotta set the stage for that. That is what looking like a writer looks like for me. Okay, let me give you another one. I'm a leader right now. Um, I have— if I look at the roster, it's crazy to say this, okay? If I look at the roster, there are somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 to 30 people that work on our team. Some of them are interns, some of them are fractional workers, contractors, graphic designers, video editors. Some of them are friends of the team. They show up when we need help, um, counting inventory or working at a book table. Some of them are ongoing contractors. They are in the lifeblood, 20 to 30 hours a week. Some of them are employees, uh, but there are advisors, people I call when I need— okay, there are 25 to 30-something people that are on calls with me or that are getting information from me or that are asking questions and need answers from me. I am a doggone leader. But can I tell you that I feel insecure and, and totally unprepared for that every single day? I wish you could see the stack of leadership books sitting in my bedroom. I wish you knew about the advising that I get from dear friends who have been, uh, leaders of people for a long time, or maybe they're in HR, or maybe they're business coaches. And I say, can you please just help me think through this? How do I deal with this? It's like, ah, because I want to be kind and I want to be loving, but I also know that I have a job to do. And the structure, the organization, the ministry, the people— that means everybody has a role to play. And I have to be the caster of the vision, the director of the organization. I have to say, this is how things go, this is how they work, this is who we are, this is our primary aim, these are our strategic objectives, here's where we're going in 3 to 5 years. I didn't go to school for that. So I have to tell myself before a meeting sometimes, Chrystal Hurst, yes, be a democratic leader, ask opinions, get input and feedback, but you are the leader. This vision was given to you. And not that you don't work with other people, and not that they don't, they don't, um, contribute and support and build the vision too,. But I can't ask everybody to give me permission to lead the thing that God put in my heart to lead and create. Imposter syndrome says, girl, you have 30 people that report to you in some way, shape, or form, but you're not a leader. Yes, I am, girl. You are getting on stages 25 to 30 times a year, sometimes speaking to groups of 10,000 people. You're not a speaker. Yes, I am. Girl, you're not a writer because if you're a writer, you wouldn't struggle. Listen, I have written 4 books. They have my name on them. There's one that's sitting on Amazon right now waiting for me to finish it. But I'm a writer. Let me give you another example of when this actually hit me really, really hard. And here's why it's so important for you to not succumb to imposter syndrome. This is the story I really didn't want to tell you. In 2014, I lost a lot of weight. I was running for a marathon. I was eating super clean. And there was a Wednesday night service, and I was up front, and my sister came up with me on Wednesday night with women in our church. And as we were closing, she said Y'all, I just want to pause for just a second, and can we just acknowledge and cheerlead Chrystal Hurst's weight loss? Doesn't she look great? And she asked how much weight I'd lost. I don't remember what it was, but it was something like in the neighborhood of 40, 50 pounds. When I tell you that in that moment I wanted to crawl under a rock. And here's why. It wasn't because I was embarrassed that she told everybody that I'd lost weight. That was evident. It wasn't because I was embarrassed about sharing the number of the amount of weight I'd lost. I talk about that all the time. It was because— this is, this is exactly what I was thinking and feeling. I was thinking, don't say it out loud. Because what if I can't maintain it? What if what I've been doing all this summer is not what I can continue to do? What if I've just been faking the lose weight funk, the fitness funk, the food funk? What if I totally am not a person who's going to stay in this range forever? You have just told everybody that I am fit and I am committed to my health and I am doing all these things. What if that's not who I am? And let me tell you why imposter syndrome is so dangerous. Because it is easier to own what you're not than to have faith of what you're already becoming, to have faith in who you're already becoming. Because one, you know very well I can easily go back to what I know. One, you're hoping you get to know very well and you don't want to be disappointed. If you allow imposter syndrome to win, you will go back to what you know because imposter syndrome says you cannot be, you cannot become the thing you are already becoming. You can't hold on to it. It's not yours. Moses was a leader. He was a leader the day he went out into the field and killed the Egyptian slave master. He wanted to take matters into his own hands and do something about it. He did the wrong thing. He committed murder. But that day he showed that he had a heart for the Hebrew people, his people, and he was willing to show up and create an action, to take action when no one else would. So he was that same guy on the backside of the desert in Exodus chapter 3 and 4 when God shows up and says to him, Moses, this is what I want you to do. I want you to go talk to Pharaoh. I want you to go tell him, let my people go. Moses says, you're not talking to me, are you? And in Exodus 3 and Exodus 4, he spent so much time going back and forth with God over whether or not he was the right guy for the job because He'd had one failure, he was willing to cancel out the whole thing. You can't be talking to me, I've been back here shepherding sheep. And God is looking at him like, but son, you're the same guy who I put my heart for my people— I put my heart for my people in you. You took matters in your own hands, that was incorrect, but you did something. You were willing to go out front and get something done. That is who I'm still calling out. He thought he was a fraud because of his past. He thought his past would disqualify him from what God wanted to do with him in his future. And so he asked questions, and he kind of just went around in circles saying, I'm not the guy, I don't even talk well, they're not going to listen to me. He just kept finding reasons to shrink back from who he already was. Esther, on the other hand, is a different example. In the Book of Esther, named after her, she was called upon to go as a Hebrew girl into the king's palace. She was willing to risk her life to save her people. And instead of shrinking back, what she said was— the story goes Maybe I'm here. Maybe you're there, Esther, for such a time as this. Maybe the thing you never knew you'd have to do with your life, maybe the thing that you never thought you'd be qualified to do, you are going to do it. And you are the right woman in the right season. You are in the right place, and you have everything you need in order to save a whole group of people. She was told that her nationality might disqualify her from being queen. She was queen anyway. She went to the king knowing that it might cost her her life. She went anyway. She had imposter syndrome. Am I sure I'm supposed to be here? But she went anyway, and she didn't struggle too long about doing the right thing. We all have it. 'But are you going to lead the people out of Egypt? Are you going to save a group of people? Are you going to do what God has called you to do or not?' And the only thing that stands between the feeling of 'Are they gonna find out I'm not who they thought I was?'— that feeling— and the 'Despite what they may or may not think, I know what I'm called to do and I'm gonna do it regardless. The only difference between those two, the only space between those two, is your decision to say, I am a leader. I am the one to save my people. I am a writer. I am a speaker. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am the boss. I am in charge. I am the minister. I am the pastor. I am the person who can make wealth. I am the business owner. I I am, I am, I am. And you tell yourself that until you actually start to believe it. Now, I'm not saying pull something out of a hat, just make something up. I'm saying what you already are in the process of doing. I am a creative. I am a graphic designer. I am a homemaker. I am great with fashion. I I am good with people. I am a caregiver. I am good with money. I am. You have to decide to stand in his I am for you, and you say I am too, because you are created in the image of God. Moses said, who should I say sent me? God said, you tell them I Am That I Am sent you. I ain't changing, and I'm not going to be whatever y'all want me to be. I am who I am. You are made in the image of God. So you stand there and you say, some days I am who I am. I may not feel like I'm this person, but I am who I am. I may not look like I'm this person yet, but I am who I am. I may not have all the skills and abilities that I'm working to build, but I am who I am. If you could start owning sooner who you are, 20-something, 30-something, if you would not think it's too late to own who you are, 50-something, 60-something, if you will just decide to own who you are and say, I am, it is who I am, this is what I do when I'm not trying to, this is what I feel called to do no matter what, this is what I keep going back to, I am who I am, and just own it. The voice that comes with that feeling of imposter syndrome would get more and more silent. So what is imposter syndrome? It occurs when someone is unable to internalize and accept— that's the key word— their success. They often attribute the success they experience to luck rather than actual ability or talent. They live in fear that others will eventually learn they are a fraud. Imposter syndrome occurs when you are unable to accept who you are. So who are you? Who are you? That's the question. And who you are, you are before you actually exhibit that. We know that in every caterpillar there lies the potential of that caterpillar becoming a butterfly. We know this, and there's a period and a time of transformation, but they always had the power of the butterfly inside. It's not about looking at where you are, it's about looking at who you have the potential of becoming and claiming it. They went to the moon, Neil Armstrong and them. They took a flag and they stuck it in that loose sandy surface of the moon and they claimed it. And before that, it had just been sitting out there. But they knew when they left Earth to go to the moon that when they arrived, should everything go smoothly, that they planned on staking claim. You want to know how I know that? Because they took the stake that held the flag. It went on the ride with them to the moon. So their intention was from the very beginning, before we ever get there, when we do, we have a flag. We have decided before we arrive that we're going to be prepared when the moment comes. That's acceptance, that whether or not you've arrived, you've packed your flag. Do you understand? You've identified who you are despite the fact that you have not arrived at the location of your ultimate success yet. So yes, grow. Yes, learn. Yes, develop. Yes, apprentice. Yes, seek wise counsel. Yes, take the class. Yes, become more and more skilled at what you do, but on your way, take the flag and decide before you get where you think you're trying to go that you've chosen your identity. Decide who you are before you arrive and start speaking those things that are not as though they are. How do you beat imposter syndrome? It's really simple. You walk in faith. I hope that's been helpful to you, and I would love for you right now to tell me in the comments, where are you struggling with imposter syndrome? Go on, stake the claim, say what the struggle is, and then what I want you to do is share your identity, even if you don't feel it. Who are you? It's okay to be on the journey and share the journey with others. So go on and tell the truth, shame the devil, and know that this is part 1 of a 2-part series. I've talked to you now about what imposter syndrome is, about the main thing that you have to do to beat it, and then what I want to talk to you next time is about some specific tactical and strategic ways that you can go about walking in your destiny. Because isn't that why we're all thinking about where we want to go? We believe we have a destiny and a purpose. You do. And I want to help you stake the claim. Thanks for watching. If this has been helpful, be sure and share it with a friend. Make sure you're subscribed, don't forget that. And again, don't forget to jump into the comments and let me know how this message hit you. I know it hit me. Now y'all don't go telling the secrets out in the public, okay? You hear? This conversation was just between us. I'll see you next time.
