Chrystal Hurst shares timing strategies for couples to talk through differences. Bring up important topics when your husband is doing something he enjoys, like driving, or right after sex when he's most open. Men often need hours or days to process, so give him space before expecting an answer.
Hi there! Julissa wants to know, "What tips do you have for newlyweds who are struggling with communication and preference differences?" Whew, okay, communication in marriage is like a whole, like, 24-week seminar. But that said, communication is real, and when you're newlyweds, you're figuring it out, and you're figuring out the first steps of it. The reason why marriage is for a lifetime It's 'cause it takes a lifetime to work some of that stuff out. I've found in my experience that my husband is more open to talking or listening when we're doing something that he enjoys. If I really know I need to hit him with some things, we're gonna let him pick the restaurant where we go out on a date. We might hit the road because my husband loves to drive, and because he's doing what he enjoys, he's more open to talking about things that he may not wanna talk about when the football game is on. Listen, Pick your timing and do things at a time when he is open to that conversation. One specific time when he probably will be open to that conversation is after y'all have finished making love, having sex. The point is, I need you to know that right there, right then, he's alright with you. So at that moment, keep it short, but say what you gotta say. Ask the question you wanna ask and know that it is a goddamn giving window. Take advantage of it. Listen, and then when you look at your marriage, the big thing to ask your husband— because most men are processors— is if you're asking him a question where he needs time to think about it, don't be upset if you ask him a question or you need an answer and he doesn't have the answer right then. Walk into that conversation communicating what you need to say, asking the question you want to ask, but giving him maybe a day, a few hours or a week to process it. Know your man and put him first. If he always sees that you are honoring him and respecting him honestly, as he should be honoring you as well, then give him the benefit of the doubt. Take the windows of opportunity and assume the best. Assume that if he didn't want to listen to you, he wouldn't have married you. Assume that if he didn't want to talk to you, he wouldn't have chosen to be with you for his whole life. Give him the benefit of the doubt, but But look for the open windows of opportunity and maximize them as often as you can. One last thing, don't always be the talker. Make sure that you're a good listener too. Do you have a question? You can go to ChrystalEvansHurst.com/AskMeAnything.
