In Survival Mode? This Will Recalibrate Your Soul

There is a difference between planning your life and partnering with God to live your life well. And once you understand the difference, everything changes. We live in a society that is all about productivity and goals and rhythms and routines and the future and your habits. And none of those things are bad, but they are not healthy if those things are separate from you're partnering with God. There's only one life that you have, and the stuff that you do partnered with God is the stuff that actually moves the needle, not just in your life, but also in the life of the people that you touch, in your legacy, in the things that will make a difference long after you're gone. Psalm 127:1 says, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it "labor in vain." Planning, thinking, dreaming without God, it's only going to lead to pressure. Planning with God, inviting him into the process, leads to peace. In Matthew 11:28-30, the Bible says, "Walk with me, work with me, learn from me." And this is The Message paraphrase, "Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." So it's not that Jesus doesn't invite us to build. It's not that he is anti-purpose. It's not like he's anti-goal. Jesus said himself, I'm only going to do the stuff that my Father wants me to do. Because he lived until he was 33, he died young. He only was in public ministry for 3 years. So he had 3 years, you know what I'm saying, to like change the world, to impact 12 people, to make a dent that we're still talking about today when we read the Bible and when we are trying to grow in our faith. So it's not anti-building, it's just choosing the rhythm with which you do it. So how do you know that you're choosing the rhythm? Well, Proverbs 16:3 says that you want to commit your work to the Lord and then your plans will be established. So you have to take what you're thinking, you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta take all the dreams that you have, you know, whether you're putting them on paper or you're sticking them in a planner, you know, all the things that I'm writing down to do this week, you have to take them and then say, okay God, like, what's important on your list for me today? I talked about that. In my book, um, She's Still There, that I get up every morning, not perfectly, but most mornings, and I raise my hands and I say, God, I want to be an instrument of your grace, your love, your mercy, and your power today. What are you doing that I need to be doing? When I am thinking about my month, when I'm thinking about my quarter, when I'm thinking about my year, I'm checking in and I'm saying, Lord, what are you doing that I need to be a part of? You want to know how I know that 2026 is supposed to be about abundance and overflow? I, I got that download almost a year ago, over a year ago, thinking a year in advance about what 2026 was going to be. And I asked, what is it supposed to be? What am I supposed to be talking about in the Inner Circle? What is supposed to be kind of an underlying thread in all of my conversation? And I got that. I was excited about that. But you want to know how I know that that was from God? Because this year has been a year of anything but It's almost as if when you partner with God, then it becomes the enemy's business to try to distract you, discourage you from being in alignment. And often the very thing that God puts on your heart to do will be the very thing that seems the hardest to do because there's so many barriers, interruptions, and discouragements along the way. So you gotta ask God what he wants out of your life because he will not bless what you build outside of the blueprint that he has for you. And it's not about working hard or overworking. It's not about being out of balance. It's about having the presence of God in your work and in your planning. So here's number 1. When you are thinking about your life, dreaming about your life, building for your life, here's what I want you to remember. And you may not understand it completely, and that's okay. It's okay. But ask God to teach you. Stop striving, start surrendering. Before you set goals, check your posture. Striving is what happens when you pursue an outcome that God never assigned to you. Surrender happens when you ask him what the season is all about and what it holds based on his plans for you. The bottom line is, are you asking? Are you in your own strength trying to make it happen? And I don't have anything against Make it happen, girls. I don't have anything against make it happen people. I'm a make it happen person. It's a part of my wiring. It's my design. But there is a difference between I'm going to do it without checking in, or I'm going to do it because I've checked in. And if God wants to redirect me, I'll let it go. Striving says I make it happen. Surrender says, God, what have you already prepared for me to walk in? Ephesians 2:10 says that he has prepared good works for us to do. Beforehand. Philippians 1:6 says he's gonna finish the work that he started in you. So whatever you're supposed to do is because he already started something. He started something because of your design. He started something because of your desires. He started something even because of the difficulties that you had in your life. I heard Pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell say on an Instagram reel yesterday, my pain is going to pay me. It's going to pay me. If I'm going to go through it, if I'm going to experience, I'm going to get something out of it. So you have to resist the urge to plan from pressure, like, what I gotta do? Am I running out of time? You know, what am I supposed to do by the time I'm 30? And plan and agree with God out of purpose. What does he have, and are you in sync with him? You don't need more hustle. And I have nothing against hustle, but we live in a society and in a time when it's over— overdone. You don't need more hustle. All you need is the ability to hear more clearly. If you're like me, your to-do list is a million miles long. There's just always more to do than there is day. So I love checking things off, but let me tell you something, that's a problem. If you check off things on your to-do list without checking on you, you are not living your life well. Listen, you've got to pay attention to your life. So I have created a tool that's a planner and a personal coach in one place. To help you do just that. Let me introduce you to the Full Circle Planner. I meet you in these pages every week, at the beginning and the end of every month and every quarter, at the beginning and the end of the year to help you make sure that you're checking on you while you're checking things off your list. Because what good is your life if you do all the things, but you're not good? I want you to live a life you love. I want you to own your life, and I want you to pay attention to the life you've been given to live. How can you do that? Checking in on you, and these pages will help. Get your Full Circle Planner today. There have been times when I've gotten it right, y'all, and there are a lot of times when I've gotten it wrong because I'm naturally productive, naturally goal-oriented, naturally all the things. I have gone a million miles at a million miles an hour in the wrong direction, and the only way to make sure you are surrendering instead of striving is checking in. And let me tell you something else, God moves usually at a pace that doesn't feel comfortable to us. And when we're in a hurry, he's usually wanting to slow down. And when we want to slow down, he's usually like, "Make a decision, move forward, be obedient." The call of this season for me to invite you to dream, it is about you choosing to do this low and slow, long and right, taking the time to listen, because often the reason why we aren't hearing clearly is simply because we're not taking the time to listen. God can redirect you. He has redirected me many, many times. Sometimes it comes because I've learned the lesson the hard way. The last time I didn't listen and the pain that it caused me. And so I've learned to listen. And until I hear and experience that still small voice saying, "This right now, go now." If it's not a yes, it's not a maybe. It's a no. And if it's a no, it needs to stay a no. The beauty of taking the time to dream, the beauty of wanting to set goals in a way that honors God, is that you are willing to drive, but you're also willing to listen when the GPS of the Spirit in your life says, "Girl, you off route, recalculate." And you know that feeling when you're driving down the street and you are doing your best to follow the directions, and then you realize you missed a turn and you can kind of see that you got off, you know, that you were supposed to make a left and you're outside of that blue line, and then you see the screen go recalculating, recalculating, and then what you do is the next time you can make a U-turn, you make the U-turn. That's what it means. It means that sometimes you're gonna miss the turn, but surrendering says when I realize I missed it and when I see God recalculating, that I will then follow those instructions. Taking the time to surrender your plans, your hopes, your dreams, your desires, is an opportunity to expose your journey to the Lord. And if he says, girl, you off track, that you're gonna say, okay, redirect me. Matthew 11:28-30 says in The Message, if you keep company with me, you're gonna learn to live freely and lightly. Keeping company means check your GPS. What expectation do you need to release in your life right now so that you can receive God's direction? What noise do you need to quiet so that you can hear clearly? Stop striving, start surrendering. Number 2, focus on your identity before activity because who you are, which is why we're taking all this time during this time of year to think about our lives and to write it down, because who you are will determine what you pursue. Sometimes we jump into goals because we're actually not asking, who is God shaping me to be? What does he want out of me? What does he want out of me in this season? And your identity precedes assignment. So whether you are a Gen Zer, a millennial, a Gen Xer, a boomer, you know, whatever season that you're in, Every season will require new chapters, and sometimes those chapter shifts happen before we're ready. They happen before we even know they're happening. We just wake up and we're like, "Oh my gosh, did the seasons change?" You might be in a season of empty nesting or caregiving or career shifts or perimenopause, new ministry callings, a job change. You just let go, out of a relationship, in a relationship, a new mom, fresh out of college. And your job is to notice when who you are and what God is calling out of you changes your activity. Your goals will become clearer when your identity is clarified, sanctified, and identified. So ask yourself, who do you want to be by the end of this year? And by this year, you can say 2025, but really, we, we in 2026. What fruit is God cultivating in your life? What is he already doing? What has he already done? And how can you remember to be grateful while you also ask him for what he wants to create and do in you in the months and the year to come? Romans 12:2 says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that by the testing of your life you can discern what is the will of God." The transformation process produces discernment. So you can have a goal, like I have had, about writing more for a few years. And then I realized, and I realized this in hindsight, that one of the reasons why it has been so hard for me to write is because I wasn't supposed to write about it before I had experience. Rest it. Before you can write about or minister to somebody else about being a woman of rest, you got to learn how to do that yourself. Create from rest, uh, lead from rest, guide from rest. And for me, writing on letting go and release and living without shame has required that to be more of my identity before I could write about it. Your identity will always precede your activity, and when you allow that to be the case, the fruit from your life will be richer. Because the goal is always identity-based. Almost half of what you do every day is habitual. Almost half of what you do every day is unintentional because you just are doing what you always do. And when you grow your dreams out of identity, that your goals and what you want to achieve is based on who God says you are, you will have not just mindless activities but intentional decisions that frame your habits that will shape your life. James Clear, I've said this before, I love him, you do not rise to the level of your goals, you will fall to the level of your systems. And your systems need to be oriented and designed around who you are, who God has created you to be. So when you're journaling, when you're thinking, that's the question. God, who did you create me to be? And am I in alignment in my dreams and in my daily habits with what you want from me? That's why you can't separate your physical wellbeing from your mental wellbeing, from your emotional wellbeing, from your spiritual wellbeing, because it's about your being. It's about who you are. So don't strive. Surrender. Don't busy yourself with activity before you are focused on your identity. And then when you plan, when you dream, plan with peace, not pressure. So many things that make you feel like you're late in life— that's not God. That's not God. That is the enemy telling you you're behind. That's not what God does. He encourages. He is a gentle shepherd. He leads. He whispers to you. He encourages you. He cosigns the things that you're doing when you're on the right path. Like going down the road, it's like having a person in the passenger seat that's saying, are you sure we're on the right road? Are you sure? Are you sure that wasn't the last exit? I mean, are you— are you— should you be in this lane? It's like, oh my gosh, I'm trying to drive. The Holy Spirit just says, here's a sign, 75 miles to go, you're on the right road. It's gentle leading. It's a grace-filled planning process that will create sustainable progress in your life. Godly planning is not passive. God doesn't say plan. He doesn't want us to pray. He does want us to consult, but it's not passive. It's active, it's intentional, and it is rooted in rhythm. But it's not about achieving so many things that the world will tell you to achieve. It's about alignment. Yeah, go get your master's degree, go get your doctorate degree, but not because you're late, you're behind, or you're striving. Go do it because out of excellence and out of ability, you're wanting to honor the gift of your mind and the gift of your desire to serve. That's identity, and that's not pressure. That's aligning yourself with God's plan. Do you see the difference? Planning with peace will always include margin, space for rest, interruptions, and the unexpected. It will include small moments. Zechariah 4:10 says, "Don't despise the day of small beginnings." And it will include motivation. You should know why you're doing it and more than how fast you're doing it, that you get it done in the best timing. Small changes make a big difference over time. So resist the urge to feel like you're late. 'Cause that is not God, that's the enemy. In all your ways acknowledge him, he will make your path straight, Proverbs 3:5-6 says. Now I know that you are here, some of you, and you are feeling like you're behind, and I get that. But can I just tell you that every time I felt behind when everybody else was building their careers and everybody else was jet-setting to Europe and everybody else was getting promotions and I had no title, no paycheck, and wasn't going nowhere, I was home with my babies, in those seasons, planting the seeds of writing and reading and thinking and developing my mindset, even in the wee hours of the day, they are paying off now when I talk to you, when I'm ministering to you, when I'm leading and guiding you. And I did not have a plan for that. I was simply honoring my life and honoring my identity by giving something to God. Plant the seeds that God has given you, water them, nurture them, be willing to wait, and don't panic every morning if you didn't check off everything on your list. Plan with peace. Somebody has said, girl, you know, I don't have enough room to write all the things I have to do for the day. That's why there's a whole daily tracker so you can do that. But the reason why I built the Full Circle Planner the way I built it is so that you realize you have limited time. You can't fit everything in there the way that you might want to. So operate with limits because those are God-given. The limits are God-given. Why? Because he wants you to operate with margin small moments and motivation, but also without pressure and in peace. Here's the deal. It's good for you to plan. It's good for you to move things forward. It's good for you to have goals, and it's good for you to, to, to dream and get excited about the future, or to dream and hope that next year doesn't look like the year gone by. But you are a living thing. You are in the garden. If you are, as John 15 5, my mother's favorite verse. You are the branch, he is the vine. Abide in him, you will bear much fruit. And that branch, he prunes, he, he, he nurtures. But you are growing out of what God has already put in you. Honor your life, honor the process of growth. Don't rush it, take your time. Use whatever planner, piece of paper, notebook that you need to use. Write it down, but commit to being a dream builder, a dream builder who surrendered, a dream builder who is willing to operate in peace and identity, and someone who is willing to partner with God to get a clearer sense of your calling, to walk in alignment, to have rhythms that are honored in the seasons that you're living in, to be practical, to be communal, but to live your life out loud. Lord, teach us to honor the unforced rhythms of grace. Help us to release pressure, to embrace your pace, to build the dreams that you are already planning for us, to align our desires with your direction, to show us how to plan with peace, purpose, and partnership with you, so that when we start 2026, and Lord willing, when we end 2026, we will not just have been happenstancing our way through it, but we will have been agreeing with you, in alignment with you, dancing with you, and seeing what happens when we let you lead. Thank you for the time today. We thank you for our time this week. We thank you for what you're going to do in our lives that we know about and that we don't. But we thank you for being a gentle shepherd who leads us in the way we need to go. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.