Jennie Allen on Adoption (Part 2 of 7)

Okay, so that's your oldest son. Yeah. Give us the gender and age of your other kids.

Okay, so then I've got two girls, Kate and Caroline, and they're, um, they're a sophomore, 15, and, and an incoming sixth grader. So that one, you know, it's just me. It's just that you just— she walked in today and she was going to her meet the teacher and she had And Zach, she walked back out and Zach said, "Does she have makeup on?" Which she's not allowed to wear yet. And I was like, "Hey, Caroline!" This is the 6th grader? This is the 6th grader. I was like, "Caroline, come back in here." And I said, "Do you have makeup on?" She was like, "Just a little lip gloss." And I was like, "And a little blush?" And she was like, "And a little blush." And I was like, "Okay." I got it like 15 minutes ago. I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Okay. So we're meeting the teacher. It's a special day. I'm gonna leave the blush and lip gloss, but that's it for the year. We're not growing up this fast.

That was nice.

That was very gracious of you.

Yeah. And then you've got one more.

And then I've got Cooper, who's 9 years old. He's going into 3rd, and he's a wild man. He is, yeah. That's how we like them. Is that right? Help me. Wild men.

Wild men.

Yeah, that's good.

Yeah. Have you read John Eldredge's Wild at Heart?

Wild at Heart, yeah. Just let them be. I know, well, yeah, I did see your children in their underwear. I'm throwing them under the bus now.

Man time, man time.

But I do, yeah, we're owning the, he, yeah, we just, We just quickly put in a basketball goal for his birthday because we were like, he's got to have somewhere to go and do work it out.

So all my boys haven't always been like that, but my baby for sure, he is like that. He is like that. And we watch when we can American Ninja Warriors on Monday nights. Oh, and our house becomes a ninja course. Okay, that may not be good. So back to Cooper, and actually I would love to talk to you about adoption. Yeah, I actually don't know why you guys adopted. I don't know why you went I don't know if it was a kid thing, a boy thing, an African thing, a, you know, I don't know what the driving factor was, and I'm sure it was a lot of different things, but I'd love for you to talk about.

So we had enough kids. That was, we were very full. But we had, we, so we, you know, Katie Davis in Uganda, so she wrote a book, but at the time just had a blog, and somebody introduced me to her blog, and I think she has you know, adopted a dozen or more girls in Uganda, lives there.

I didn't know that. This is Kisses from Katie.

Yes, I know of her, but I did not know that she's actually adopted all these girls. Yeah, she's been working on it. It took time, but yeah, she's amazing. So I'm reading her post and convicted and just realizing like, okay, Lord, let me stop you. Convicted of? You know what it was? This is interesting. I'm glad you stopped me. It wasn't comfort at that time. It was approval. Because my husband and I both had felt called to adopt for years. And I think just did not feel like that was going over well with fam— you know, just felt some resistance. And again, I'm sure there was some comfort there too. Just, you know, there's no control ever, right, with kids.— but we were just, we weren't obeying and we knew that God was leading us toward that.

I just felt convicted. I was like, don't look at me.

I know, sorry. Because you know. I just, yeah.

This interview was for you. I know! You're welcome.

There's agenda, I feel it. I just know that God At that point, I cared more about the approval of man than I cared about obeying God. And when I read her blog, I realized it. And my husband— I got on the floor that night and just prayed and said, "God, I'm in. I'm sick of it. I know we'll be in heaven in a second, and I want to live for your glory, and I don't want to be distracted, and I don't want to get to heaven and find out all that we missed, all that I missed, because I was bending to people's approval." Now, it did not— we did not wake up and go to Africa and adopt our son, but the next morning I was different. I felt free. I felt like I'm, I'm at peace and, and I'm excited and I don't know what's next, but you know, right then I think it was dishes. That was what was next. Yeah, and for a long time, you know, but, but my husband traveled to Rwanda and we had a lot of connections over there and friends over there that would stay with us, you know, Rwandans that would stay with us when they were in town and just felt like we loved that country and had had the ability to bring our son back into relationship, bring Rwandans into his life here. So that felt like a good fit for us. But he was over there and he called and said, "We're adopting." And I said, "Okay." And that's how that went. And he got home and while he was there, the Haitian earthquake happened. And so for 2 weeks, he's over there in Africa and I'm watching the news every night and we were done. It was just, we have a bed, we've got the love in this family we're in. And it wasn't missional, it was we wanted to, it was just, but the barriers to that were real and I had to work through them.

Like what?

I think it was fear, I think it was the unknown of, I think it was the idea of bringing, for us it was gonna be a little bit older child into— 'Cause he was not old when you adopted him. He was 3-ish, 3 and a half. And he could have been older, but that was how old the kid we were matched with. So it was just the unknown. And you know, you want, in moments like that, you want God to speak from the sky and say without doubt, like 100%, you are to obey me by doing this thing. And we didn't have that. I mean, I'd say it was like 50/50, but I couldn't see anything in scripture that said you're not supposed to do this. And so I'm thinking, We've got to jump. Like, as much as we know, we're on board, both of us. Our family's on board, our kids, you know, they all 3 were willing. And so we just had to jump. And of course, I mean, now I can't even imagine. I mean, he is— he has changed us in every way. Some of them just costly ways of just patience and, you know, and learning what it means to come from a place where, you know, my kids all the time have to be patient and to realize that this is, you know, trauma is a real thing and it happens at a young age. And so working through that with him and going to counseling regularly and therapy and realizing that there is, our God is powerful enough to heal.— and I'm watching it happen before our eyes.

But— I love how you say watching, not watch. Oh yeah. Like it is a part of the current journey, just watching what God is doing.

And even the fact that you mentioned that the move to Dallas was because of your youngest. So even that part, his story, is a part of why you're even moving this— well, moved now to Dallas. So all of that, just— yeah. Yeah, and I think, you know, even just with race and the things that are happening right now, I just think, Lord, you are teaching me in a different way because Cooper is in our lives. Like, the world he's opened up to us because he's in our lives, and I thank God for that. And I think we are in every way grateful that there's a dimension to our lives that that isn't easy, but it is the greatest joy. And I mean, the kid is awesome. I mean, he's adorable, he is likable, he is winsome. And I mean, he's still that kid that like when I look at him, my teeth grit because I just love him so much. Praise God, because it's also hard. But, but yeah, so it's the best By far the best thing we've ever done with our life.