In this candid panel discussion, Jennie Allen, Chrystal Hurst, Wynter Pitts, and another participant explore the challenges of balancing ministry with family life. They share personal stories of turning down speaking engagements and events to prioritize children’s sports seasons and senior milestones, emphasizing that saying "no" creates space for God’s work and for others to step in. The conversation highlights intentional boundaries such as device‑free family dinners and the importance of reserving time for rest. They critique the cultural pressure on women in ministry to constantly hustle, noting that true calling may look like staying home with a baby rather than pursuing high‑visibility opportunities. The group addresses how to keep passion from feeling like work and how to tame the pride that can arise from public speaking, offering practical reflections and encouragement, including a Michael Hyatt anecdote about "more where that came from." Jennie also reflects on recent years of intense suffering alongside abundant blessings, framing it as a deeper experience of God’s purpose.
Chapters
I love that we've known each other for a bit, and I think I've tried to get you to IF Gathering every single year.
Oh, she's doing it on camera! Why do you say no?
Why do you say no? I love it. I respect it so much. Why? Every year, what happens?
It is basketball season.
Basketball season? And I get it.
Yeah, my boys, that exact weekend happens to always be the weekend they're going to be at regionals.
I know.
So it's big. And I appreciate you, I appreciate you understanding.
Oh. Like there, you know, because if you look at Jenny's calendar, it's, you would think it would be fuller. And it says on there, it says on there football season.
Thanks for, thanks for giving me that permission.
You know what?
I'm doing the same thing. I pulled back, my son's a senior.
Yeah, girl, you gotta be there at all the senior stuff.
I want to be home.
Yeah, good for you. Yeah, good for you.
It's good. But I watched you do it. I remember before I was near this thing or ever thought I would be near this thing. You pulled back and I can't remember, it was an interview when your kids were younger and I don't remember where it was, but I remember thinking, like exhaling for you and thinking that feels brave. And I don't know what it felt like to you then, but—
Well, it just felt like I get to do this once.
Yeah.
That's what it felt like. I get to do this one time and we have had to make some tough decisions decisions, but it hasn't felt like a loss. I always feel like whatever God has for you or for me, it's gonna be— I'm not missing out because I said no to this opportunity. And we've said no to big things, whether it's a movie thing or a— you know, because—
it has to be an emotional—
I know, it is true. I bet it's true.
Anyway, she's like, actually, she's a movie star.
No, that you didn't act like that. Like, girl, no, that was amazing.
Okay, let's just derail for a second.
I haven't told you.
I think I texted you.
Yes, I love it.
But I didn't tell you, like, that just came out of you. That was crazy. But yeah, I like that. I think it's good to have, to hear that from you. Like, to hear, like, you can turn down things. This isn't some race to hustle.
No.
And the church is big, and God seems to accomplish his purposes.
You know, Michael Hyatt says—
There are other people that can do it.
Yeah, Michael Hyatt says that his wife has always told him when he's stressing out about an opportunity that he might miss, she'll say, "There's more where that came from." That's so great, I love that.
There's always more where that came from.
And even if there's not.
And even if there's not.
And I feel like when we say no, we're making room for the person who's supposed to be there. Mm-hmm.
That's so good.
We're making room, we're not filling shoes that we were never meant to fill anyway.
I love how Wynter does this, and we joke about it all the time, about me calling her and her not answering the phone. But then if I'm hunting her down, like I'll call Jonathan's phone, like, "Answer me!" She was just like, "We're having dinner," or, "I'm helping with the kids with the homework." Like, you're very intentional.
Shh!
What did she say?
At the same time, I said intentional, she said antisocial.
This happens here.
But I'm just saying, like, you know, we're intentional. You're watching, you know, who are going to say, "Okay, well, I've got to say no because it's the football season," or Like even the yeses could be the special things and override the little things, but that could be on both sides. Like ministry can be yeses, but also like your family yeses don't have to be to the big things. It doesn't have to be to the regional tournament.
It can be to dinner. Exactly, it's just dinner.
That we are reserving this time and our devices are put away and we don't answer until we're done with our evening family time. And I mean, I don't know if that's hard for you guys or if you've always done that or, It's only hard—
I'm a little bit intentional, a little bit antisocial, so it does feel a little normal, but it only becomes hard when I try— when I compare it to other people because it looks like I'm kind of slacker or I'm not pushing or not. So, you know, so then I understand that feeling, like, because it's like—
but I, I kind of—
especially for me, like, my whole ministry was because I have 4 daughters, like How silly would it be for me to ignore my 4 daughters?
Do a ministry, k?
Because now God called me to ministry, you know what I mean? It's kind of, it just, so anyway, so, but it can feel very much like I'm supposed to want to do more, and I'm like, actually, I'm okay.
And you know, I also feel like, I really do feel like we have given this, not intentionally, but the breadth of what women's ministry looks like now has given this idea that you need to strap your baby on your back and go off to India and be a missionary, or you need to strap your baby on your back and be on stage and be You can breastfeed in the back while you go up.
Do it, do it. I can do that.
I know.
I can probably, I can probably lay down the law, share the love of God, and breastfeed. I probably could, but anyway, I'mma try.
But you haven't breastfed twins.
You win, you win on both sides, just like this. Oh, girl.
Okay.
What I was gonna say is—
I never thought about that.
It's really interesting to watch.
I bet.
Oh my God.
Things have to go different directions.
Oh my God. What?
And it's really uncomfortable for people that actually don't like people watching them.
Yeah. And I was watching like this.
How do you do that?
We're talking about it on camera.
But I was going to say, I think we have made people, women feel small that choose not to go off into the sunset of ministry and just enjoy being with their baby. And I'm saying, I'm saying, And I'm using babies as an example, but it could be that God has just called you to this, and you feel like you're supposed to be off charging into the forefront of everything. And no, I say, what has God called you to do right now? What does that look like? Just do it. Just do it, and let's not make each other feel bad, like we've gotta be doing more, we wish we were doing more. Just enjoy resting, resting with God.
There were two questions I'd ask, I call them the mastermind, this group of interns and girls who just wanna be a part. And you may have answered it, but I want to ask it the way that they asked me to ask you. How do you keep your passion from feeling like work when it is work? And then the second thing is, how do you—
'Cause it is work.
'Cause it is work. How do you tame the pride that can come from the fame of being a well-known speaker or—
Yeah, Jenny, tell us. Chrystal Hurst.
That's a staple. Next to her.
I can't wait to hear this answer.
Passion and work.
And taming the pride that— I mean, I just think we have to be honest and say it can happen if you don't keep it in check.
Okay, so, so I'm gonna go with that one first.
Okay.
Um, I have actually found that to be a funny thing because I feel like I get— as soon as I might get to enjoy an ego for 5 seconds, you have kids. Well, not just even at home, it's like something on the internet. Like, it's just It feels like, or I'm having a, you know, as soon as I get comfortable with something, but I'll tell you the biggest thing, and this is not, I wouldn't wish this on anybody, but the last 5 years have contained more of the beautiful work of God than I could have ever imagined, and it's gone further than I could have ever imagined. However, it has contained more suffering than any years prior. And I thank God for that most days because I know why.
Personally, you mean?
Personally and right up close to me. And most of it I can't talk about. Yeah. But some of it's public. I mean, my dearest friend in the world, about the month we launched IF Gathering, had a massive stroke and still can't speak. And, you know, we FaceTimed yesterday. Like, she's one of the things I'm saddest leaving in Austin. But, you know, we're like sisters, we'll stay very close. But walking through that, so I remember going to Catalyst and, you know, I was going to go get picked up by the car and all this stuff the next day, and the night before we're packing, unpacking and organizing her pantry because she just moved, and at that point she's still like with a cane, and you just don't get a big head, like you just don't feel impressed with Catalyst, like when you're unpacking your 37-year-old friend's pantry that has lost her kids because of a divorce in the middle of her struggle. I mean, it's just, it's so unthinkable. And, and some things with my sister as well that we've walked through in these years as a family that you just, I mean, I can't, I'll never be able to say things publicly that have happened to her. And, and, and you just go, hey, there's no, um, it just, it, all of it loses any glitz or glamour. If anything, it's harder because you go You almost just don't have an appetite, like, to— you don't want to fake it. You don't want it to be a performance. You don't want— you want to go. If anything, it makes you Chris Kainish, where you're like, what the heck is this thing? I think I thank God for it. I don't wish it upon even myself, but I'd be scared if it hadn't happened alongside of it, I think. But, you know, it's— It's a funny world of money and Jesus and fame.
