Learning to Rest: How to Depend on God in Every Season

Y'all, so you know that if I'm talking with someone on the couch, it's because I want to be with them on the couch because they're a friend, or they're interesting, or I've known them for quite some time. And my guest today fits all of those categories, checks all those boxes. I'm glad to welcome Miss Ruth Jo Simons to the show.

It's so fun to be here.

We literally have had— this is like show 3. We're just gonna show you this one, 'cause we've been sitting here talking for a hot second. It's our excuse to have conversations that were— that are way overdue.

I know. I mean, it's really the best. Every time I'm with you, I'm like, "Oh my goodness, we could go on forever." We can.

We can. So for those who don't know you, you are an artist who is an author, who is a speaker, who is a mother of a million children, and also, and also constantly pointing us towards what we observe in beautiful spaces and places, nature included, to learn more about God. But just a quick rewind for those who If you don't know who you are, why are you here? Why are you here in this space doing what you're doing in such a unique way? Why do you think God has drawn you into this space, as my mother would say, for such a time as this?

Wow, that is so well said and really just such a good question, Chrystal Hurst. You know, I think my mission has always been to discover how God's grace intersects my daily life because I always thought that my life was going to look a certain way. And when it started to not look that way, I was like, well, how do I find that God's grace and who he really is matters in any season? And as I was on that exploration, I realized that, oh, I didn't think my art skills were going to ever be useful. I didn't think that my lack of this kind of personality trait or this or that— I thought, oh, God can't use a girl like me. And yet somehow he saw fit to cause me to be able to bring my love for God's word and art together in whether it's products or through books, but also just that, you know, my heart is for discipling women, and ultimately through books, I can pass on some of the life lessons I've learned through different seasons of life because we really need to help a sister out, right? We do, we do.

Okay, so you said you weren't sure that God could use someone like you, like you, dot, dot, dot. What are the words that follow that? What are the words that describe like you?

Ooh, well, I'll just start at the beginning. Somebody who English is my second language. And so it's always, there was always some level of feeling like, ooh, this is, I don't know if I can communicate well. I'm not totally sure if I'm relatable. I feel like I had a late start in all the things. And then in order to combat that, my story goes, I became quite a striver, kind of like earning my way to wanting people to like me as a child and hoping that I could somehow be impressive enough that I would find belonging and love and value and worth. And when I encountered Christ, I was still somewhat thinking that I could be so amazing that I wouldn't need his grace, which is so ironic and so silly. And so coming into this space now where my work is public and, um, and, and I really skipped a lot because I just would say, you know, someone like me, as in even someone who is a striver, somebody who has to die to herself all the time and maybe can make an idol out of being productive and being good at creating things, really being able to slow down and say, okay, what I have to do right now, this is the Lord's. And so, whether I get to write 10 more books or this is the last one, um, being able to be satisfied with what God's given me right now, right this minute. Um, that's a lesson I learned in a previous season. So I think it's just maybe just even, um, I, I love that you asked that because I guess the part that I don't share very often is that I feel so unprepared for some of the things that our industry requires and calls us to. I don't feel like I'm somebody who wants to be on stage. I don't feel like I'm somebody who wants to be in front of the camera. Um, I naturally recoil at the idea of, um, being measured by— with numbers and downloads and successes. And it's scary. It's scary to kind of like be triggered by some of those things. So I have to find a ways to really remember— remind myself that every bit of my worth and value came through the cross, and I can't really impress him with anything that I create. I can only steward it, you know. So Long answer to your question, but I just think that in some ways it's a beautiful thing to be called into, but it's like a, it's an offering every day that's kind of put some of my weaknesses on display. Mm-hmm.

It's so funny because I know that somebody watching who is familiar with you, your work, your books, your beautiful— listen, long post, Girls for the Win, when we're on Instagram, like everybody's like shortening it up. Like, why? I can't say what I gotta say. I gotta, you know, pushing that 2,200 character limit on a regular basis. But the reality is someone who is familiar with you is kind of shocked, you know, if they had not known this before, because you are productive and you do things well and you, you do show up and make a mark with your words and with what God is leading you to share. And it's such a unique thing how God has gifted you to be able to put together beauty with biblically based, deep biblically based concepts that are transformative. They're not light and fluffy, you know? And so—

I appreciate you saying that, by the way, because I think I so desperately wanted to not lead somebody away from God's word with something light and trite and just feel like, "Oh, I did enough," you know? But to really create things that would cause someone to linger in God's word. So I appreciate that. Thank you.

Oh yeah. And people are looking at you and they'll say, Really? That's where you struggle? That's what goes on in your head? And I think that's the problem is we are often striving because we're trying to achieve, thinking everybody else has something we don't have, not realizing that the person who's doing beautiful things is doing so while they rein themselves in from their own pacing, lean on the Lord for his pacing, and are fighting through the things that bring us insecurity and question our being every day. You are the mom of 6. Wonderful sons. And the youngest is 12 and the oldest is currently 23. Yeah, yeah, we're in a couple different seasons, a couple of different seasons. And the level of dependence on the Lord for young people who are aging into adulthood is a different thing. Um, I— it is a— it's a— it's a good thing because I think we, we raise our children and we put everything we've got into them, and then they do what they're gonna do. They make choices. They've gotta learn and grow. They get to know the Lord for themselves. What would you say is either the biggest and best or most recent lesson that you've learned in that part of your journey? 'Cause if you just talk about the art and the books, people miss the other part. And that's a, you know, a big part of who you are too.

So, I think you might have seen this on social media, but last year, um, a year ago, last week, um, my third oldest son was away at college out of state, and he was in a traumatic mountain biking accident. He went over the handlebars, really shattered a whole section of his spine, and needed a spine fusion, needed rods and screws put in his back. Um, as a mama, I really was just like Oh my goodness, I am completely like not in control here. But I was calm. I, we were in the ICU for a week. He had a successful surgery that we didn't necessarily know that it would be successful. But after it, and he came home, you know, worked through recovery. I'm speeding through the story, but he wanted to go back to school. And I—

You were like, have we not learned all this?

I know. And I, and this is where I'm getting to the answer to your question. I think at that moment I, I saw his, his idealism. I saw his weakness. I saw the areas in which I knew that if he were to go back, he would encounter temptations and struggles that he now can't just face at full capacity. He's trying to face when things are already discouraging, when he's not physically capable, when he's still working through medications. And I was like, but he really, really wanted to go. We tried to advise, we tried to consider best options. Some of the options weren't available to us. And so we let him go back. And I remember thinking, he, the first few times he called me, he sounded so discouraged. He said, I'm so lonely. I thought my friends were gonna be more available while I'm recovering, but they really have so many plans. They can't be around a lot. And so he was lonely. He was struggling with his, with, you know, thinking thoughts he shouldn't think. He was mentally struggling. He felt like he was not winning the war on sinful choices. And he was just struggling, just struggling in all different ways. And as a mama, realizing that, I mean, that God loves them more than I do and that God cares for 'em. And that I, you know, I had just written a children's book based on Psalm 23, reminding myself that there's nowhere safer for any of our kids to go but to be home with Jesus, to make their—

not home with us, not home with Jesus.

And I think I had to put that into practice and go, okay, so even if I feel like I should like fix the situation, he's actually completely in the most ideal and safe place to learn about who God is and how he's cared for by the Savior, because I'm not his savior, that he really, if he learned, if all the exhaustion and weariness and, and fears, if all that drives him to know the Lord more, I mean, that will be the best place for him to be. And so I think it's almost like letting go of what you think is the path that will lead them to dwelling with Christ, because we have thoughts about what the path—

oh yeah, can be, should be.

And, and, you know, it is that final, that is the path of Psalm 23, recognizing like it's the Lord that is his shepherd. It's the Lord that's gonna lead him. And that, you know, we can't outrun God's grace and his care. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And that ultimately Judah was absolutely in the safest place possible. And so for mama who had worries, you know, and still do sometimes, you know, just remembering that, um, you're never outside of God's care when you're at home with him. And he really grew in his relationship with the Lord. So, that's a great testimony. But I'm learning that day by day, still. I still have a whole bunch of kids still needing to be launched.

And they got a whole bunch of years to have you here as their mom. So, you're not done yet. I know that my mom, when I went back to school with Charis until my oldest, and so, I'm 19, single mom, in school. And it was the same thing that she described, just the wrestle. And then it just was, you know, I mean, there's not a reason other than what we prefer, you know, and she's really clear that she wants to go back to school. Years later, she says, "It was one of the best decisions that we made to let you do that because you just grew in ways that you would not have if we would have continued to protect you." So, that's your kids, and it's easy to see that journey. But for you, as a person who is capable and full of can-do and energy and capacity, and you're smart, and you achieve because, you have that as a skill. You can figure it out and make it happen. And then, there are things that are out of your control. With you, what does that look like for you to lean into God's care for you, to trust that— I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't really learn how to lean into the Lord's care for me, and that he will make sure my needs are taken care of, and that I can't exactly see how things will happen until I have to.

That's exactly where I was gonna go with that because I was like, well, Chrystal, basically it's not really my choice to embrace that. It's that the Lord in his mercy, and honestly, I gotta say, you put me on the spot so I can tell you it's really mercy because now I don't feel like it's mercy all the time, but it's mercy that God gives me a whole lot of reason to feel weak. I, mm-hmm. And you're right that it's like we, we look on the outside and we say, oh, Well, look at the fruit there. Look at how much is being produced in somebody else's life or in our own life. We might be blinded to what, where we lack unless we're given real opportunity to recognize like, I can't fix this situation. I don't know the answer to this. So I can name off several things right now. Everything from, well, um, I don't really know how to step into the next season. With the things God's called me to do. There's some impossible things. I say impossible, right?

But there's, because you have no idea to get from here.

I don't know. To there.

There's no idea.

And no matter where I try to, you know, do the math, rework everything, it just feels like, oh, that's not gonna work. Or that's a problem here. Or, you know, it's the weakness of going, well, I really need these relationships and it's gonna take a long time to build those and I'm not really sure where to go for that. Mm-hmm. And so you see one thing after another that feels like lack or not enough, or I'm not really sure how that's gonna turn out. And I think my immediate, my wiring is to immediately put it on, put it down on paper. Mm-hmm. And go connect the dots and figure it out. Yeah. And you know what the thing is, sometimes it really works, which feeds into the idea that all I have to do is wake myself up somehow with worry at 3:30 in the morning and I can think my way out of a problem. Mm-hmm. And it works a little bit until it doesn't. And then you are, you're reminded again that the posture that God's desiring of our hearts is that we might say, I can't, it's, it's all, it's always been about you. That Lord, this is the life you gave me to steward. It's not my life to kind of somehow conquer or make it about me. And so I think even for all that God's given me opportunities to do well, there are so many things every day that I feel like I'm so challenged. I don't know how to do this. I feel like I'm, you know, I run a business and yet I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Right?

And from the outside looking in, nobody would believe that. But I totally commiserate with you that you're creating things, making things happen. But you're like, I'm doing the best I can. There's constantly problems for me to solve.

Right.

I mean, how do you— You know, I know that you are pro-rest and not lazy and not do nothing, but pro a posture of rest, if you truly trust the outcome of your life to God.

I practice that. It's not like I've not arrived at that. It's a practice, right? I practice every day.

That you are regularly encouraging. I mean, I told you before we started officially recording that I heard you, you know, 10 years ago, give a workshop before all these books and all the wonderful things. And— I quote you constantly, you know, "Rest is worship." Like, if I trust that God, who did not spare his own Son for my opportunity to know him and be in fellowship with him for eternity, if I trust that that same God, who saved my life forever, is in the business of daily saving, giving me saving grace, then I can release these things to him and not have to— but the practice of that is a whole 'nother deal than understanding that as a truth, you know?

I mean, the thing is, I have to embrace every day what actual limitations God's allowed in my life, that, that limitations are really good reminders that I'm not meant to conquer it all, and I'm not capable of doing it all. And I think that that's, I, I keep thinking, oh Lord, you know, help me not be so stressed about this or be so worried. Or deal with anxiety about these things. But really, if I just start with what's actually causing those anxieties, well, it always has something to do with me thinking that I'm at the center of getting and achieving everything that will make me—

and it all depends on you—

that all depends on me. And I— it just always boils down to what do I think that I must provide for myself because I think God's gonna hold out on me. He's not gonna provide that. And that's a real theological question. I mean, it really boils down to what do you believe about God? And so I really do have to do a little self-assessment pretty regularly when I'm resisting rest, when I'm trying to cut corners on rest, when I'm resisting rest, when I'm kind of like, um, you know, I guess I'll just try a little harder, I'll, I'll, I'll stay up a little later. Whenever I'm like in that mode, it usually points to me just wanting something that I think requires me getting it for myself. Mm-hmm. That I, I'm not going and praying for it. I'm not saying, Lord, and then waiting, you know, praying and then waiting.

Yeah.

Praying and waiting.

Like, why would I do that?

What a concept.

If I can just go get it, it's just over there.

Right. Because I, it's always so clear.

Yeah.

I'm like, I see it, I go get it. You know, like, just come over here. You know, like, I'm gonna go get it for myself. And I, it's just really like, that's what Eve did in the garden, right? Eve, ultimately, it wasn't— she was like, oh, that apple is real shiny.

It was that she really was like, hmm, and I don't trust that everything that I need, God is going to give me or has already given me. So I got to go get it for myself.

Yes. Because, yeah, Genesis 3 is saying it. We read that she sees that it's good for food and also is good for knowledge. She, she's like, what does God know that I don't know?

Right.

How God's holding out on me because he's got a story that would be better than the one I'm living right now. So if I take it for myself, I could get for myself something that he's not quite providing for me.

Yeah.

And so it really starts, and I just, I just go, yeah, that's the source of all my unhappiness really is when I feel like I have to attain for myself something that God's not, that I think that God's not gonna provide. So I gotta do it for myself.

Well, I know this idea of, um, dependency is one of 5 ideas that you've written about in your new book. And before we talk about that a little bit more, this dependency thing, I have one more question. When you are wired to achieve, and God has given you the capacity to achieve, and the things that you have done have been achievement-oriented, like, they work. How do you hold to depend— like, what does that practically look like for me to operate dependently and operate dynamically in my gifts?

Okay. It's a really good question, and I'm gonna put this within the context of my life. I would say when things work, if you hustle, you're probably gonna get some results. If you network constantly, if you do constant lots of things, if you pay attention to everything that you're supposed to do to succeed, it might work for a time, but does it please God?

Mm-hmm.

And so I am constantly aware. That I have to answer to the Lord with what I've done with my giftings. And so it's a, it's a high view of God versus a high view of myself. And I gotta tell you, it's not like I wake up every day and go, I'm naturally wired to not think about myself and think about the Lord. It's that I actually have to go to the word and reset and say, Lord, I am a little obsessed with myself. I'm a little obsessed with my own schedule, my own needs, my own desires. My own plan, help me remember that you are God and I'm not. And, and the only way I know to do that, so this is a long way around to answering this question, is that when I focus my eyes and my heart posture is towards the awesomeness of God, the greatness of God, the worthy of worshipness of God, that when he is, it's not just a sign, you know, when we worship, rest is worship. And when we worship, it's really the the root word for worship, I just read the other day, is worth-ship.

Mm-hmm.

That's where it comes from, right? We are assigning worth. And so when I rest, it's me saying, you are worthy. I'm limited. I, I'm not worshiping myself and my own abilities. I must worship you. And so for me in my work, I say, this is literally what I think every day. Do I want to burn out in my own strength? Mm-hmm. Or do I wanna run the race well and have a legacy that actually can keep going? And the only way that can, it can keep going and I can do anything that I'm proud to offer up to my, you know, Heavenly Father. Look what, you know, like, look, look what I tried to do. If I want anything to do with offering it back up to him, then it has to come out of the overflow, not scrounging for things. And that scrounging is like so exhausting when you, if you're wondering, am I scrounging or am I overflowing? Basically, yeah, I, I would say take a look at your life and assess like what's causing you the most anxiety.

Mm-hmm.

What are the things that you feel like, if I don't hustle a little harder, I can't— what is it that you're actually trying to get? And if it's worth or value or belonging, you kind of start getting to the heart of it, but then you realize, okay, so what, what's your posture? Is it a posture of like, I have enough? Or is it the posture of like, I'm so scared, scarcity, scarcity, I'm gonna lose it all. Yeah. And I, and I honestly think that, you know, let's just say in terms of being a creative, somebody who's painting or writing, when I'm trying to create, there's nothing to say or paint or do if I don't have a full well, if, if it's not full, if it's not full, then I'm literally like scraping the bottom trying to like create something and it's not gonna, it's not gonna be of substance. So where does that come from? It ultimately comes from a high view of God that if he were to snatch me out right now, I'd have to answer for what I did today.

Well, it's too late. You know, everybody's supposed to get raptured yesterday, right?

Like, I didn't know that actually. I thought I, I was like, wait, did I miss the rapture? What happened?

Oh yeah, we missed the rapture. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I love what you said about anxiety and overflow. Because I think we can talk about dependency on God. You know, there's all these things that we say that are kind of in the language of Christianese, and so, we're used to hearing them. But it's like, "What does this look like? How do I know?" And obviously, we grow in the Lord, and he can teach us individually. But the picture of anxiety, like, if it's causing me anxiety, that that can actually be a signal that can point you towards, where you may not be leaning into dependency on the Lord, or when you find yourself trying to produce, scraping the bottom of the barrel. And, you know, it's kinda like, I had the picture of like, cooking, where you're trying to get the last bit out. It's not that if you keep going, you can't get something out, but how hard am I having to work to get that versus it just flowing out and being able to fill the next container?

And of course, it never feels like it's enough because it isn't, because you're literally scraping the bottom, you know? And— Yeah, I'm sorry, I just interrupted you.

No, no, I mean, the picture that you're getting— because, you know, I'm just a practical— you know, I used to write the sermon study guides at our church, and I would download from my dad before he preached the sermon what his thoughts were. So, I wasn't getting the guide from a fully preached sermon. I was getting it from his initial thoughts. So, he would download these 3 points, and he would, you know, give me what he thought his questions were. And I would always follow up with, "Okay, but 2 questions. When people take this home, and they are going over this, what do you want to stick? Like, what do you want them to talk about after the sermon?" And then, the second question always was, "And why should they care?" I mean, like, I know that the right answer is—

I love that.

—because we wanna honor God. And I know the right answer is because we wanna live pleasing lives. But like, How to, like, bring it down to me on, "I gotta go get groceries," level. Like, how does this impact? And I think what you said about anxiety and scraping the bottom of the barrel, because I can, and I'm sure people who are watching or listening can feel that. We know what it feels like to have anxiety and to wonder if God is going to, even though he's enough, is he going to give me enough for what I need today? And I'm working so hard, and I'm so stressed trying to make sure I unturn every stone so that I don't miss anything. And what does it feel like to rest in the fact that if you're supposed to get it, God will make sure you get it. You don't have to stress and strive over getting the last little bits.

And even the practicality of like putting into practice, what does it look like? Like, do we work hard? Do we? Because sometimes when we say rest or don't strive, it looks like what's just sitting here, like the email, that you're a limp noodle.

Yeah.

You know, what does it look like to steward and to actually strive in a good way, like to actually use your full day wisely. There's something to be said of striving.

There's a difference between working hard out of overflow. Yes. And working hard out of scarcity. Yes.

And I think that the reality is it's like, it's just a dependency issue. It's really just a, you know, a, our paradigm actually affects our paradigm is our posture. It's, it's the literal way in which we're gonna, if, if you said that already, is that quoted somewhere? I don't think I have. You, you, I literally said it for the first time right here.

Yeah. We need to stir that up and work on that some more. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. I mean, but I really believe that because, you know, the paradigm is the posture of your heart, the way in which you approach everything. And if your paradigm is that God is holding out on me, that I need to impress him, that I'm not gonna get where I need to go unless I do more. Then if you, then you might not actually understand the gospel. Mm-hmm. So just side note, you may not understand the gospel, but also you're carrying so much that, that truly was meant for him to carry, which is why Jesus said in Matthew 11, come to me all you who are weary and heavy. He didn't say come to me if that was something you struggled with 2 years ago. No, he's like right now, right now. The reality is he's basically pointing out that You can be weary right now for a lot of reasons, and maybe you don't even realize that you are weary and kind of carrying all, all the stuff. But the moment you realize it, come, come, because draw near. Don't stay away and try to figure it out and clean yourself up. Come and bring all your luggage, bring all the bags, bring all the shopping bags full of overflowing stuff and just lay it, lay it down. You know? And I think, I think rest. Is not as fluffy and as pretty. I, I think rest is war. I mean, like rest, it just, it sounds so pretty. It sounds like birds are chirping and candles are lit and we're somehow like, because rest is not passive.

No.

And I think that we keep talking about it like it's a spa day, but I really think of rest. I really think of rest.

Not that there's anything wrong with spa days.

No, I love spa days. Yeah. Yeah. And I think spa days are a part of God's gracious gift to us. Um, and if you get one, High five, you know, like more power to you. But I, I really want us to reframe the, the idea of all this and realize that to rest is to fight, to fight for the kind of peace that Christ wants for you. To, to rest is to declare with your life, I've been bought by Christ. Like, I am not my own. I don't have to live like a slave to sin because I am a slave to righteousness. And righteousness means that I've already one because of Christ. So there's nothing I can get here on earth with all my striving that's going to get me any closer and any more loved by Jesus. And so when you start with that paradigm, then the posture of your day is one where, like, I can't afford not to rest, because resting actually resets and reminds— it's almost like a prayerful retelling to the Lord, I know you're God, I'm not. And so it really has to be woven back into the fabric of all the things. But, but just on a practical level, I would just say, because I want make sure that we're not just dancing around the paradigm of it, but that on a practical level, I feel like if rest is not just a spa day and rest is not just like taking a moment with a book and lighting a candle, but rest is, uh, is war on anxious thoughts and self-striving. If it's true that that is what rest is, and I really believe it is, then you actually have to have tools for that. It's not like you're just gonna say, and now I'm going to engage in rest. You know, like, I'm gonna work at it now. Now you actually have to go to your tool belt and say, toolbox, and say, what are my tools for actively pursuing rest? And so for me, um, and what I think are biblical examples, uh, is that we usher in a soul rest when we remind our souls what is true. So I call that preaching truth to yourself, actually recalling up the truths of God's word, the truths of his character, the truths of our salvation. Recalling, whether it's memorizing scripture or recounting the attributes of God and why you know that those are things are true, and telling your soul what to do like the psalmist does in Psalm 42 or, um, or Psalm 103, you know, forget not his benefits. What are his benefits? Mm-hmm. That ushers in rest because you're giving yourself soul rest regardless of what's happening. Mm-hmm. And so that's a practical way. I would say a practical way is to go observe what he says about himself through his creation. Mm-hmm. Does he need you to bring out the stars at night? No, he doesn't.

Mm-hmm.

Does he need you to make the winter snow melt and the spring come? Mm-hmm. I have nothing to do with those new buds that come up every year. And they come up every year. And I'm like, oh, Colossians 1:17, he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Why do I think it's all up to me? So those are practical things that I have to do day by day. To not just say, I believe that rest is good for me, but I'm going to fight for it.

Hey there, I love traveling. I love traveling by myself. I love traveling with my husband. I love traveling with my family. I love traveling with my friends. And every now and then I pick a trip that I want to go on and invite my friends, my sister circle, other women I think would be fun to come with me. So in April of 2026, specifically April 26th, April 26th through May 3rd, I would love to invite you to go on the first Sister Circle cruise with me. We're gonna hit the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and a couple of other sunshiny Caribbean places in between. This is your opportunity to go on a cruise where other women of faith are going to be, other women who love God, who wanna be intentional about their lives, to have a good time. Cuz people who love Jesus can have a good time. Also, if you wanna bring your husband, bring your man, you can. I would love for you to register for that cruise today. Go to thesistercircle.com/cruise to register. I, in April of this year, just felt the impression that I needed to go walk. And I'm not a walker. If I'm gonna go and do any kind of exercise, it needs to burn some serious calories.

Right, because walking feels unproductive.

Correct. Yep. I need to get— how many calories can I get in 30 minutes? Yep. So, I can be done with it. So, I did that. It was walking an hour, 5 days a week. And I was doing it out of obedience. It took about 20 minutes to reach the spot where there was the capacity in my mind and in my heart to not feel restless. Meaning like, "Thoughts, but I can't write 'em down," or, "I wanna make a phone call." 'Cause it was like, "I can't even walk if I can make a phone call." You know what I mean? "If I can get my thoughts into a voice memo, can I—" You know what I mean?

Like, just nothing. I know exactly. Remember, we're like the same person.

I know, or nothing. I recently was with someone who said— we were talking about the concept of being still. And she said, "My professor called it letting the parade pass." You have to be still enough until the parade goes by, the parade of your thoughts. I've never heard that. That's so great. No, it's in an old book, a professor that she took, and this old book, and it was like, "Let the parade pass by." And it's what it feels like in your mind and your heart, being still. Like, my hands wanna be busy, my mind wants to be busy. And I have to kind of let it all peter out. It's almost like, you know, putting a baby to sleep when they don't want to go to sleep. And you have to let them go through all their antics until they just give up. So, for me, walking does that. Intentionally talking to God, but walking. Also, taking a nap, 'cause I'm not a napper. I know. So, sometimes, I will lay down, just because I just need to still myself. And going to sleep is an offering, that I'm working myself into a frenzy, and I just need to go to sleep, you know? So, I think the practical ways that we can still our mind and reconnect our minds and our hearts with the fact that God controls the rhythms of our life, it's super important. Okay, so dependency is one of a few things that you focus on. Well, first of all, tell me about your new book. It is called? "The Way of the Wildflower." And it's not just about flowers.

No, you know, I mean, you— we're good enough friends, you know that. Every other year or so I do a collection of devotions or meditations, and I always pair 'em with my full color paintings. Yes. One, because I just get to make some really beautiful books, but honestly, because I just think if you're going to read shorter meditations, why not slow down? And if there's something beautiful to look at on the page, you kind of linger longer. You don't flip that page as fast. And so if I can be a part of. The journey of you being still and studying and looking at that going, well, that sure is pretty, or laying it out on the table, I'll have done my job. So, um, this is one of those books where it's full of my artwork. So I write the book and then I paint the book, by the way. So, um, this one is called The Way of the Wildflower: Gospel Meditations to Unburden Your Anxious Soul. Mm-hmm. And I feel like it's everything I really care deeply about all in one book. It's preaching the truth of God's word in our various fear-inducing situations and concerns. Um, I write 30 of the ones that have concerned me, and I really think that most of us understand what it feels like when we want what we don't have, or when, um, when we want a perfect plan, or when we don't feel lovely. Or when grief is fresh, or when we can't turn back the clock, some things like that. I even write about when I don't wanna read my Bible. That's kind of— Not Ruth. Oh yeah.

Not Ruth, the Bible. Preaching to yourself, girl. Surely you don't have those moments.

That's why I included it, because I have more than just the moments. I have season after season of struggling and saying, Lord, I, yeah, I need reminding. Like, what is this about? Why? Why? You know, when I'm not naturally just sitting there desiring to read God's word, how do I preach those truths to myself? But, you know, really this whole theme of the Wildflower, um, you mentioned dependency. I have had the privilege of just living in an area where wildflowers grow up in certain seasons, and I've gotten to see them up close and personal. And it just occurred to me that Jesus was teaching on a little mountainside, a slope where he's telling the disciples, don't worry, don't be anxious about anything. And he looks up and he says, even as high as you can look up, there are birds of the air. Mm-hmm. And then he's like, but also look right over there on the ground at these wildflowers, at these wildflowers. And he's like, consider how the wildflowers grow. They don't toil or spin. Well, you and I just talked about every which way we toil and spin. Yeah. A lot of toiling, a lot of striving, a lot of spinning. A lot of going around and around thinking, how can I fix everything? How can it all be about me and serve me well? How can I avoid pain? Like basically that's all the toiling and spinning. And when I studied how it, well, I, I mean, I basically took Jesus's words pretty literally. Consider how the wildflowers grow. Okay, let's consider. And so as I was out there, you know, um, I should have added that one of the rhythms that I have with combating and choosing rest and combating those anxious thoughts is I go off-grid every week. Like every week we choose a day where we're outside somewhere where, um, we either turn off cell phones or we're out of cell range. Mm-hmm. And there are no, my phone is not dinging, I'm not Instagramming, nothing is hap—

does this correspond with Sabbath for you all? Or is that something different? Yeah, very much so.

And so, um, sometimes it's with all the boys, sometimes, well, most of the time it's it's with all the boys who can come, but it's just our natural rhythm where we are like, if we take pictures, it's not because we're sharing it on social media. It's not because we're texting it. Mm-hmm. We have no cell service. We're just in the moment. And, and so on one of these, you know, trips and times where we're just getting away, we're going for a hike or a walk. I took Jesus seriously and was like, consider, okay, let me consider how they grow. And I was like, they're really dependent on the master gardener. There's no timer, there is no fertilizer, no Miracle-Gro, no any, and there's no, like, they just grow up beautifully. It's not like somebody planted them perfectly. They're just springing up. They're dependent on God for everything they need. I found that they are resilient. Mm-hmm. Because I, I'm sure you don't even have to live in Colorado to see wildflowers grow up next to a gas station, behind a gas station. Yeah. On an empty lot in the side. Crack of a sidewalk. They grow up everywhere. And you just are fascinated because you realize like, how did the flower grow in the midst of all these rocks where it shouldn't even grow? And you realize that, and I ended up studying and learning a little bit more wild, about wildflowers, but so many of them are made in a way where they are able to retain moisture, that they are, they're made to be resilient. And then I, I found 3 other traits, and I know they're not exhaustive, but I found 'em so fascinating that they're not in a hurry. They're unhurried because they don't bloom all year round. They wait for the season that God has for them, that they unapologetically live as the beloved. Mm-hmm. That you see some flowers that look super extra, and then some that are very quiet and small, and some are really vibrant colors, and some are strange and full of— well, thistle is real pokey, and yet they're all unique and they're not competing with one another. I mean, I'm personifying flowers, but the reality is they are all just blooming exactly where they're planted. Mm-hmm. Totally taking up all the space that God's given for them to do and living it up right where they are. And then the final one, um, I— dependency, resilience, unhurried, beloved, and free. They're free. Mm-hmm. And I, and I think the, Amazing thing about wildflowers is there's no fence holding them in. There's no, wow, you're on this side of the river, but not that side of the river. They go wherever those seeds are scattered. They're free. And, um, and I think that's the way I feel when I'm outside and realize like these flowers grow in a way that I wish my life felt more like. I wish I was free to be me, free to, and so I, I, And I talked to the Lord about that and I was like, I regularly come up here, Lord, and I feel anxious and I feel stressed about lots of things. I'm thinking about the next thing, but you tell me to consider how wildflowers grow and trust that if God can take care of the wildflower, he really is taking care of every one of my needs as well. So that's where it started, was really observing individual wildflowers, observing how wildflowers grow, and then realizing that there's so much to learn about how wildflowers put on display the very things that we can trust God for.

So then you're going to have us all outside looking at the flower at the gas station. Please do. Go look at Jesus raising up the flower in the middle of the— yeah. Whenever we share, teach, preach, write, it is definitely because there's a lesson that we are sharing that we've learned or that we're learning as we write. Sometimes we think we know what we're going to write and then the books start doing their own thing. But yeah, um, and then often when we write, then particularly when we're talking about the book, marketing the book, you know, using content for the book when we're teaching or sharing and traveling. You are, you are, there's a friction there because you can't put something like that out into the world that you're not tested on at some level at some time. And so I know that you shared, um, like your own struggles with anxiety, but I'm curious, like right now where we are, um, which we're kind of just right here on the cusp of book release time. How is this currently most active in your life right now?

Yeah, I've got, I feel like I'm at a crossroads. Yeah. In my life right now. I feel like I'm turning 50 in a few weeks. I don't know when this is coming out, but, um, I'm turning 50 at the beginning of October and I'm not going through a midlife crisis in that, in, you know, any stereotypical way. I am really introspective. I think I'm really introspective because I realize that life is short and, um, because how did we turn 50? I know I'm getting emotional just thinking about it because I think it's just— you just realize that you can make non-central things central in your life and the years will pass by and you will miss a lot. And you don't— you're not promised tomorrow and you're not promised— well, you and I know as mamas, you're not promised a lot of family dinners with your kids. You're not promised family vacations with all of the boys, you know? And, and I'm not trying to make all the mamas who are launching adult children tender, but, but the reality is seasons change and you're so excited for seasons to change, but you realize like it's all stewardship, every little thing that we get to do. And so I have to steward wisely. And so sometimes I'm in the and the— I'm on a— I don't even know that it's— I don't know if roller coaster is the right word, but sometimes I do feel like I'm on a hamster wheel where I'm just still going, still going, because there's no getting off, right? And it doesn't feel oppressive and it's not super, but I get to choose. I get to prayerfully ask the Lord, is this what you want me to be doing? Is this the best way to use my time? Is this honoring you? What do I not have imagination for? Mm-hmm. And that's a really weird question because are things not working? Well, I can honestly tell you, Chrystal Hurst, like a lot of things are working. Mm-hmm. It's not like something's really broken. Mm-hmm. But I, I think we all have, we're, we all have an opportunity to not say, oh, thanks Lord. It's almost like God gives us this like, basket full of great things and we're like, okay, be back in like 50 years. Okay. And I'm gonna go run off and do my thing. Forgetting that there's more. Yes. And I'm like, what do I not have imagination for if I were to call out to you, Lord, what does it look like to be in the latter half of my life set up to be a mother-in-law, a grandmother, a child of Aging parents who might need me in a different way than I've prepared for. That's a whole season that you can't in that moment suddenly make changes in. You have to decide now what kind of person you want to be when grandkids come along and what kind of person you wanna be when your aging parent needs something that you haven't had capacity for. Like, I have to make some decisions now for that. I'm not trying to be super dramatic, but I think Um, I feel a little bit at a crossroads where some things that, um, I thought would be easy are really hard right now. And, um, and in full transparency, I think since we've talked about business and authoring and, um, I think the Lord has allowed some things to not grow in my life. Mm-hmm. And that not growing is hard for me to swallow. When it's not scaling and not getting bigger or better, because sometimes bigger and better makes life easier in my mind. Mm-hmm. But for whatever reason, God's chosen to put a protective hedge of limitation on some things, and it's putting me at a crossroads to determine how to respond to that. If there's limitations because he's removing certain people in my life, that I thought would help me go forward. If there's a limitation because he's putting price tags on things that I can't afford, mm-hmm. Or if there's a limitation because I simply am not as successful as I was before with a certain product or a certain, um, you know, pursuit. It, I failed at a few things in the last couple years and that, that was kind of a weird feeling for me. Mm-hmm. I was like, oh, that didn't work. And, and it's been really good for me to go, What is the Lord trying to teach me here? Mm-hmm. Because it doesn't mean it's, it's something I said way back when, when my kids were littles, I'd say, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Mm-hmm. And what I meant then was, if you have a whole bunch of little people, just because you can go pursue all these things may not be the right time. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. But I'm full circle 20 years later saying the same thing. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. It doesn't mean that everything needs to go and grow big. Doesn't mean that everything everything's supposed to have this trajectory. It doesn't mean that just because I have all these opportunities, I should say yes to all these opportunities. And sometimes when you're in, um, I wanna be careful because I don't think I've been running a hamster wheel that I can't get off of. That was probably too harsh of a, I think it's that sometimes I, when I'm on that track and I'm still just running happily and joyfully, but I may not be slowing down enough to hear from the Lord and say, are you still pleased? Is this still what you want me to do? And so, um, if it's not apparently clear with the way I'm emotional about it, it's causing some grief and anxiety in my life. I feel scared. I don't like change. I don't like making things smaller. Correct. I don't like downsizing. I don't like failure. I don't like feeling like I'm not conquering everything. Mm-hmm. So the limitations and the lack or even the failure is making me pause long enough to— it's making me pause long enough to determine I may not know what he thinks about this unless I ask him. So I'm gonna seek him, not just gonna keep charging ahead. Mm-hmm. Because maybe it's because I'm turning 50, but I realize like, oh, the longer part of that first half is already over. This next season is gonna be really short if I, and I, I need to steward it well. So I'll, I'll, we'll check back in and see where, where things land. But, um, that's the most general way I can put it.

Well, here's the thing. If you are looking at your cart, if anybody's watching and looking at their cart and thinking, I like what's in my cart. And I had all these thoughts about all the things I was going to make. But realizing that if there's something he has for you and there's not room in your cart with the plans that you had, it's not a loss.

Yeah.

It's because there's a different recipe. Mm.

I love that analogy.

That you may not have made before, but you can't make it without the ingredient that's not in your cart.

Yes. That's a perfect analogy.. And I think I finally have some imagination for that. Mm-hmm. I think, I think it's taking that unintentional, unintentionally overproducing person, you know, and overproducing can look like a lot of things. It can look like spending more time trying to create out of, you know, a half-filled tank. To going, okay, I need to be more filled up. Yes. And I have anything to say. And just recognizing that those are choices that I have to make, that I'm tempted to operate on empty a lot. And because you can. Because I can.

It actually works until it doesn't. Until it doesn't. Until it doesn't. Yeah. Well, here's to working because he works. Mm-hmm. And not because we have to work so hard to make it go. Yeah.

Praise God. Mm-hmm.

And that he is always about exceedingly above and beyond. And it's beyond anything, no matter how hardworking we are, no matter how talented we are, or how capable we are. It's always beyond anything that we could ask or think. Always. Always. This is so great. I love you. I love you.