More Balance & Purpose Q&A #alittleQC

Good morning. Good morning. Turn down the music a little bit for those of you all who are on YouTube or Facebook so you can hear me. Good morning, Instagram. Hey y'all, I would love to know if you were going to rate your week right now on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your week? Give me a number. Let's say on a scale of 1 to 1 to 10, how would you rate your week? So 10 means this was like the best week ever. 9 is like, it was great. I mean, a couple of things were a little off, but overall I'm going to give it a 9. 1 is like, I just don't even understand why I was alive this week. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. I wasn't good on the outside of me or on the inside of me. All right, let's see. The numbers are coming in. All right, a lot, a lot of numbers that are in that 8 to 10 range. I see your 2 on Instagram, Viola. I see it. Okay, a lot of 7s and 8s. All right, Deb says a 5. 897, another 5. Mary, what happened? Linda, it was a 1. What happened? Hey, Kwani. She says she had a 7. Okay. Well, it's good to know that so many of you during this crazy season are having good weeks. You're finding your rhythm and that things are going well. And we know that many— hi, Jen Thornton— many people aren't going to have great weeks. Um, and sometimes you just need to acknowledge that it hasn't been, it hasn't been a great week. I would say that for me, this week has probably been about a, about a 7, about a 7. Um, and I would say that because I'm still trying to find rhythm, and then there are some things in my life that still are not quite— I haven't quite caught the chain on them, you know what I mean? Like I've said that before, when you're riding a bike and you, um, if you ride and you switch gears and then the chain kind of gets loose for a second until it hooks on again to the mechanism, and then you can feel the push again. But for a minute, your, your feet are just swinging wildly because the chain is off. And so often when we have seasons in our lives that, um, where things have changed, um, or things are difficult, or there's something unexpected We, we realize that we're just free spinning. We don't really have, you know, the wherewithal to move things forward. So I'm seeing some of the reasons now why you all were saying that your weeks were not a 7, 8, or 9, or a 10. Um, Shalita said we got another hurricane to deal with. Yes, there you go. Um, That's good that you know the pain point, because another thing that you have to know is where is the pain point coming from. Sometimes it's easy, it's a hurricane. Sometimes it's easy because somebody that you love passed away. Maybe you broke up. Um, some of you all will have that happen, and but you don't know why, you just know you were in a funk all week. Um, okay. Destiny said it was a 2 to a 3, now it's a 6. Okay. Yeah, Drea, off balance. I get that, I get that. Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your sister. Um, and yes, you can say, you know, we know that they're in a better place, but we have to learn how to catch the chain. Um, it's your sister and you've had her your whole life. And you said you're trying, and I would encourage you to— glad you know what the pain point is, but I would encourage you just to give yourself room to be a 1 or a 2, you know, like, just, it's okay to be a 1 or a 2 and to let yourself be in that place because you're there because you loved her. So I just wanted to say that. Okay, okay. So I promised I would come back. Um, hi, Jaleesa. She said she's in week 4 of the 28-day prayer journey. I'm so glad to hear that you all are enjoying that. I'm getting your emails, your texts, your DMs to say that you're enjoying either the 7-day free devotional on YouVersion, which was my first YouVersion devotional I was able to put together, um, with a lot of help from, um, my team. One particular girl, I'll give Catherine a shout out for doing so much work to help me with that, one of our interns. Um, or some of y'all have already picked up the book, chrystalhurst.com/pray if you haven't and you want more info. So you can do that. Um, um, but I wanted to let you know that's still available to you. Um, and I also wanted to remind you all that the Inner Circle opens on Sunday. It opens Sunday, November 1st, 11:00 AM. It closes Monday, November 2nd, 11:00 PM. And the Inner Circle is for those of you all who frankly want to join me for the 21-day journey. I mean, November, we're kicking it off Sunday. Um, I want to open the doors just for a short bit to let those of you all who didn't make it in for October— we had a great October Inner Circle Summit. We've been sharing a lot of fun things in the group, um, because there's so much, there's so much content now. I mean, which is a great place to be. There's so much content that, um, we kind of have to say, okay, did you miss the QCs? You know, the ones that didn't stay on YouTube? Well, They're here for you. Okay. Did you miss this? Well, this is here for you. Oh, by the way, the replays from the retreat last year. Didn't miss that. You missed that? Let me give that to you. Oh, this was a session from the online event in May. Here you go. Let me get— so it's really awesome. But we are going to kick off a new experience in November. We've done the 21-day journey before, but every time we've done it, we, we change it. So this time the work is how to finish strong. So we'll be spending 21 days focusing on looking at the year, what you learned about yourself in this year, what you got done, what you didn't get done, and how that frames the, the direction that you're going to take for 2021. You've heard me say it once, you'll hear me say it again, um, that you cannot start on January 1st or January 2nd if you're kind of like, um, you know, just to bump on along for the first. You can't start out on January 2nd and decide I mean, you can, but most of us are not successful with starting out on the second and just going, I'm going to change my life today. It takes a little thought. You have to know why you have been doing what you've been doing well or not so well. And you need to know what the things are in place that keep you stuck or that keep you going so that you can arrange those things intentionally in your life in 2021. For example, if you were able to accomplish more in your home, like Home Depot has never been so full. And we have a— we had to, you know, we moved and we needed to put a new alarm system in the house. And so when I call the people to do it, they were like, they were like, we'll get back, we'll be able to get to you in 6 weeks. I was like, what? They were like, we've never been so busy. This is like unprecedented busyness, you know. And so people are busy at home. Um, that tree that I told you all about weeks ago, we've never dealt with it because, um, but mainly because we realized that the people in the house were renters. If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's a tree on our property that's hitting somebody else's fence. And, and I, I was like, I can tell you why all of a sudden, because the lady who lived here before, I called her and I said, what, what, what do y'all normally do about the trees? And she said, no one in 20 years has ever asked us. So I was like, it's COVID. The reason why all of a sudden they're paying attention to the tree is because they're sitting at home looking at their fence. Okay. We didn't have to fix it because they're renters and the owners have not contacted us. We reached out and they have not. They said, don't worry about it, obviously by their lack of response. And I can't go into their yard without permission and take down their fence and cut down a tree. So we're just sitting with that for a second so that y'all, cause y'all sometimes ask me whatever happened with the tree. So, um, Long story short, you have to look at your life and know what happened. And so many people were home and got things done. So what does that tell you about 2021? Maybe it tells you that in order to have a level of peace, I have it, I have a sanctuary that you're enjoying, to be able to get the projects done that are always on your list that you can never get to. Maybe what that's telling you is you need to do less in your life. And the reason why you can't get to the goals or you can't lose the weight or you haven't been able to build community, or you haven't been able to finish the degree or finish the book. Maybe the reason why you're not able to do that is because what 2020 has taught you is that you need more space to live your actual life, not just to work and not just to be busy doing all the things that you've committed yourself to. Maybe you need to carry that with you into 2021. And as the world— we believe, thank Jesus, that the world will eventually open back up— that you have to have additional boundaries on your life so that you can live the way you've always intended to live. But if you don't look at 2020 and say, what did I do and what was different? Girlfriends Talking said, I'll put your comment here on the screen. She said, I was at Lowe's last night picking up the flooring to replace my carpets on the second floor. My kids are installing them for my birthday tomorrow. See, 2020, 2020. So this is the thing. So that's what we'll be doing in the Inner Circle is walking through this process intentionally guided and in community. I would love to have you join us. When we close on November 2nd, we will not be opening up until the new year. So, um, not only will you get a chance to join us for the 21-day journey, but you also will be in there in December because all of the on-demand sessions that we have for, for the online event, we did not put them in the online event. I'll get to that in just a minute. We, we, because everybody was like, it's so much content, it's so much content. So we cut down on the content and, um, but we separated it. But we're giving all of the on-demand content to the Inner Circle for December. So that's pretty cool. And so basically the on, um, the, um, Inner Circle gets that content for free. So, um, I mean, basically being in the Inner Circle, it, it pays for itself. So it opens on November the 1st. I want to really encourage you to join it if you want to be intentional about entering into 2021 well. All right. Now, the other thing I want to make sure you know about before I finish, because I told y'all I would come back and finish my Q&A on Balance and Purpose. So the other thing I want to make sure you know about is, um, is let me produce my segments here. Hold on. Where is it? Where is it? Where is what I'm looking for? Okay. There it is. TSC Online. You can register. Um, you can register. Um, we have what, a couple of weeks until. And so what's different about this one, I've got a few people are the same, but most of our presenters, our encouragers are different this time around. Um, our summit is going to be cool because we're going to talk about business. So many of us have had to, um, yes, work from home, but we've been trying to figure out how can I build my own stream of income? How can I create a source of revenue that's not dependent on my job? And you've had the time to do that. Maybe you have an idea, maybe you don't. Maybe you're trying to figure out like ministry, like 501 or business LLC. How do I make sure my money's right? How do I make sure my mindset is right? And we have women who have built successfully their own businesses. I'll be opening for the keynote there and then we'll be closing with some friends of mine. I mean, it's just great. The bottom line is if y'all did it before, you know, you want to do it again. And if you didn't do it, you know, you don't want to miss it again. I've seen a lot of events online, but a lot of them are replay. And what this is, is it allows you to interact. This is why it's different. And honestly, this is why it costs more, is because you are interacting live with the presenters. They are there while they're sharing their keynote. They are also there to answer your questions in Q&A. And you have access to, to get the information that you need. So if you need to invest in you or desire to invest in you while you're already starting to think about how you decorate for Christmas and what you're going to cook for Thanksgiving and how you're going to serve the people in your life in the new year. Well, don't forget to think about you. Don't forget to think about you. And that is what the online event is all about. It's about focusing on the girl in you so you can be very intentional about living. And while we want to inspire you and while we want to motivate you, more than that, what I want to do is make sure that myself, as I present and the other women that are encouraging you, that they are teaching you how to, how to do the thing. I see some questions in the group, so I'll answer those real quick. Somebody, some of y'all already went to Inner Circle and you're like, yeah, but I don't see, I don't see what you're talking about. That's because it's not open yet. What is there is a $5. We always leave the entry level open, the $5 level. We always leave it open because then you get extra bonus content from the podcast.— a little sneak peek sometimes into what I do. But where the work starts is the coaching level. $25 is the coaching level, and then it goes up from there. And then depending on what— where you are after that, there's phone calls, and then there's t-shirts, and there's all kinds of things. But $25 is where you get the experiences and the coaching. Um, so that hopefully that answers that question. So you can join now for $5, but it opens on Sunday, and the other levels will open up, and then you'll have an opportunity even if you're at that $5 level to level up. Okay, so I wanted to talk to you briefly about the, um, about, well, answer some more questions. So I took questions from the Inner Circle because I wanted to make sure I got to theirs. Um, so here we go. So purpose, I want to go back to purpose a little bit. And Kimbra wanted to know, how do I speak up? I've been conditioned to play small. So it's kind of what I was saying, Kim, about, you know, looking at what you haven't done or what has been in this year. Thanks, Lisette. What has not been happening in this year to teach you what you want to do in the next year. And so look at why you haven't been speaking up. So you said you've been conditioned to play small. I was listening to Somebody yesterday— who was I listening to yesterday? I was talking to yesterday. Oh my goodness, who was I talking to? I was talking to somebody yesterday and they just said 30 seconds to be brave. This— oh, Tricia Goyer. I— we had, um, once a month for our interns, we have a teaching session, and I used to do all the teaching sessions myself, and now I ask friends from my Sister Circle encouragers to come and teach my interns things that, you know, I want to broaden their capacity beyond what I could teach them. And so Tricia Goyer, who has written 80 books in 20 years— 80 books in 20 years— she came to talk about how to basically write and serve your audience well. And one of the things that she said is she was— she had this opportunity, she gave this example, this opportunity that she had. She was at this conference and there was this person who had a magazine, and she's like, I just wanted to write, and I saw him and was like, I was— I'm so afraid. Like, I'm so afraid to walk up to him right now and say, hey, I can write for your magazine. And she just said, Tricia, this is your moment. This is your moment. And all you need is 10 seconds of brave. All you need is 10 seconds of brave. And so in that moment, in that moment, She just, she just, I just went up to him and I just did it. So, Kimber, you said, how do I speak up? You have to practice speaking up. You need to look at— sorry, y'all, I keep clearing my throat— you have to look at what have been the circumstances where you feel really, really nervous and where you have not spoken up. Like, has it been because there were a lot of people in the room? Was it because this person was like, this person was very accomplished? Was it that you did not think that these people were going to accept your thoughts or that they were going to think little of you. You identify what exactly the fear is, okay? Because if you want to operate with purpose in your life and you know that in a moment right now, like, everything on the inside of me is saying, do it, girl, do it, girl, do it, girl, and you have said, okay, but they don't want to hear from me— there is a script that you have created in your head, or a script that you've been given in your head that is telling you in that moment that you want to speak up, or you're feeling compelled to speak up, that you shouldn't. And you have to identify the lies, okay? You need to identify the lies, lies, lies, so that when you are met with the lie that you've been telling yourself or the lie that you've been repeating that other people have given you, that you have to be ready to debunk it. So I would say, one, when you notice the feeling, the churning in your, in your heart, and you're like, this is— I want to do it, I want to do it, but I can't do it right now, I can't do it right now. Let me tell you something. Can I tell you a little story about how I met Oprah. So when I went to go see Oprah, and y'all don't jump on me for seeing Oprah, whatever, I've spent 30 years of my life watching her on TV, and it was a privilege for me to meet a Black woman who's been very successful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So just let me preempt that because I already know somebody may have a comment. But here's the deal, when I went, I, um, I was given a ticket, a, uh, a ticket, a VIP ticket, because Dave and Tamela Mann, who are friends with my husband and I, Tamela David went to high school with my husband. So they gave me a VIP ticket. So I got a chance to meet her like everybody else that had paid a billion dollars to have a VIP ticket. So that was where I got a chance to take a picture with her, but there were really no words there. And in that moment, okay, now at the same event, that was when I had showed on my Instagram that she like stopped in the audience and talked to me. Okay, so after that, when I walked up to her, she said, "We meet again." And I'm thinking, Oh my gosh, like she remembers me. Like she remembers that she talked to me in the sea of all the million people. And in that moment, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I want you to know that my mother was supposed to be here with me. We were supposed to bring my— we were supposed to bring my mom. We bought tickets to come see you to bring my mom. And my mom is not here. And I just want you to know, I want to thank you. I want to thank you because when you came up to me in the audience and the fact that you even noticed that I was the same person. That, that just meant a lot that, you know, I'm supposed to be here with my mom and I got called out in this weird, random way. And it just was like, it just felt like, it just felt like, yes. That's all I can, it's not even that I was supposed to be there. It's not that I needed you to notice me. It just felt like a yes. Okay. But when I walked up to her, I just thought, I'm not supposed to say anything. I'm just supposed to stand here and take the picture. And everything in me was burning. It was burning. Tell her. Tell her. And I walked away from my picture and thought, I missed it. I missed my opportunity to tell her. And it doesn't even matter. It didn't matter to her. It was just burning on the inside of me. And y'all listen, as a speaker, people come up to me all the time and I'm the one that tries to stay to the last person in the line has said what they had to say. I try to be really attentive because I've been the person in the line. I still am the person in the line. I know what it's like to think I have something to tell them and I just need my 5 seconds to say what I needed to say. 'Cause I had a revolutionary moment and I want them to know. And so I always try to do that. So, but I know that the lines are long and I know that everybody has a story. And sometimes you're sitting there for minutes and minutes and minutes and minutes and minutes and minutes and minutes and hours, and you're on your feet and each person doesn't necessarily think they've been standing here for 90 minutes. So I'm gonna keep my story short. I understand that. But I also know what the burn is like, right? So in that moment, I walked away and I thought, I missed it. So afterwards, she only had a few people after me because I'd waited till the end. And I was like, eventually she's going to have to come out of this room and she has all these bodyguards and, and they're not going to let me talk to her. I know they're not going to let me talk to her. I was like, I'm going to be that person. I'm going to be that person. So she walked out of the room.. And I was like, and she was surrounded by people and I was like, oh my gosh, but this is, I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to see her again. And it's important to me to say my mom was supposed to be here. So Sylvia said, I had that experience when I met Priscilla. I know I have that experience when I meet Priscilla. I'm just kidding. So here's the bottom line, y'all. I walked up to her. And I literally stuck my hand in between the two people and touched her. And I said, Oprah, I'm so sorry. Oh, because when she came out, she was talking to somebody. And then I was like, I don't want to interrupt her. Ole Bøgen said— and I probably butchered your name— she said, I'm going to need at least 5 hours when I meet you. Okay. So, um, she was talking, so I didn't want to interrupt her, but I'm following, you know, like this little person, like, and the bodyguard, I can tell, is looking at me like, what is this person about to do? And so I just stuck my hand in there and I said— and I didn't say Oprah, I said Miss Winfrey, because Oprah is when you don't really talk to her, you know what I mean? She's your friend, Oprah, when you don't talk to her. When you meet her in person, I'm like, mad respect. So I reached in and I just— I touched her And I just said, Ms. Winfrey, I'm so sorry. Can I just, can I just tell you this one thing? And she looked and she turned her head and she looked at me and she had this look on her face of, I knew you were going to do this. I saw you when I came out the room and I just knew, you know, I could tell you were following behind. It wasn't mean. It was just like, like, yes. And I said, and I was like, get it out quick, girl. Get it out quick. You don't have time to tell her no long story. Get it out. And so then I said, I said, y'all are so churchy. Nika said, just like the woman of blood, if I could just touch. Okay, so, so I just— so she turned and I said, I just want you to know my mother was supposed to be here with me. She passed away 2 months ago. And then her face melted. She went from this to this. She melted. And I said, I want you to know that when you came to me in the audience today, and then when you remembered that I was the one you had talked to— I mean, it's a very, very small thing— I want you to know that you noticing me today made me feel seen, and it also gave me a yes, just gave me a yes that even though I wasn't here with my mom, that life goes on, life is still to be celebrated. And I wanted I just wanted to thank you. And she said, and she then she touched my arm and she said, you know, she knows. That's all she said. You know, she knows. And that was probably some random thing. You know, sometimes when you're talking to people, you say things, you're just like, you know, you know, next year will be different. I mean, you just say things, you know, it was probably something random for her. I don't know, but it wasn't random for me. Because that's exactly what I thought. My mother had— my mother, the size shoe that she wore, I wear her same size. I'm the only girl in our family that wears that size shoe. So I wore my mother's shoes to the event. Okay, so I'm in, and this was in San Francisco. So I had gone, I went in Dallas. This is a whole nother thing. I'm gonna get back to the questions because the point is you have to speak up, you have to take the opportunities, do it. So I was in Dallas. I went here, y'all. And so Priscilla had been given a VIP ticket by a friend. So she went backstage that day and we were here with cousins and sisters and my daughter and my friend Michelle. And I was thinking that day, I was thinking that day, I was comparing that day. Let me just be real. And I was thinking that day, sometimes You just have to be okay, Chrystal Hurst, with not getting the VIP situation. You know, like it's okay. So then later after that, David calls Jesse and says, "Hey, we're going to be in San Francisco. Does Chrystal Hurst want to come?" Well, that same weekend I was supposed to be in California to film the Bible study. Okay. This is the whole thing. This is the whole story. And then I got to get back to the questions because y'all, I'm now on a tangent. But anyway, I was supposed to film a Bible study in California. So I was like, "Yes, I can go to San Francisco." So I went to San Francisco and had my opportunity in my favorite city, in my mother's shoes. And then, y'all, I went to go film the Bible study in California. I flew down to Laguna Beach, and the Bible study people filmed the Bible study on a beach called Chrystal Hurst. So not only did I wear my mother's shoes, did I end up in my favorite city, Did I get to meet Oprah and then tell her my mother was supposed to be here, but then I left there and went to Laguna Beach to film the Bible study on a beach called Chrystal Hurst. And here's what I wanted to— the whole thing was like me feeling seen, right? Because whenever I would go to California, take a picture, selfie, I would send it to my mom and then she would say, enjoy the sun. Enjoy your favorite place. She would always say, you're a California girl, y'all. My whole mood changes when I get to California. And so I had told her that my favorite beach was Chrystal Hurst. She would say, are you on your favorite beach? Like, it's a whole, it's a whole thing, okay? So what you need to understand is that that weekend was like a whole stamp from my mom. Does that make sense? It was a whole stamp, okay? My point is, is that in the stamp in the flow of my life, in these moments that were being gifted to me. I didn't want to lose the opportunity because I felt small, or that I didn't want to interrupt, or that I didn't want to take the chance. And there are times when you know, there are times when you know the Holy Spirit is in you, and you're a woman, you have the gift of intuition. You know, I'm supposed to say something right now, I'm supposed to speak up right now, I'm supposed to do that. You know this. You know, and in those moments, take your 10 seconds and be brave. Take it, do it, because this is the— these are the moments of your life. Like, these are the moments. And when you have this burning thing on the inside of you, it could be God's intuition that he's given to you. It could be, um, the Holy Spirit. It could be a lot of things. I mean, I just believe that God has wired us sometimes to notice things. You know, I'm reading this book, of course, The Body Keeps Score, reading it because of the preparation that I'm doing for the writing that I'm doing for the next book. Um, I'm so excited, the COVID is done, I love the COVID Anyway, the point is, you know, there are things that your body knows because you're wired to know them. There's a wiring, there's a reason why you sense fear, there's a reason why you can sense this person is no good, there's a reason. And your brain may not be able to keep up at the speed that your body can, right? So your body sometimes is telling you your body is sometimes telling you this is a thing. So when your body is telling you this is a thing, press in, press in. You know, we allow our minds to talk us out of things sometimes. So, Kimber, I spent a whole 15 minutes hopefully giving you a story that you'll never forget so that you press into your brave, you press into your moment. If you've been conditioned to play small, that means you can be conditioned to rise. You can be conditioned to press in. You can be conditioned to talk your brain down. You can tell your brain— your soul can tell your brain to shut it off. Okay, all right. I would like to ask, if my purpose is to keep waiting on the Lord, how will I keep my sanity without thinking too much about my future? What if it fails again? What will I do? Please enlighten me with your words. Thank you, have a good day. That's from Shano Sako. Keep waiting on the Lord? I don't know. That's what I want to say. You ask kind of a lot of questions in there. How will I keep my sanity without thinking too much of my future? What if it fails again? See, I don't know what it is, so let me just say, is it a relationship? Okay, let me just talk to you as if it's a relationship so I can put some feet on it. Okay, is your purpose to keep waiting on the Lord? You— your purpose is always to wait on the Lord. Like, always wait, I say, on the Lord. That's the Bible says that, right? Okay. You're always looking for his green light. There have been times in my life when I've had to take a green light and even the girls who were interning, the girls who were working for me on the team, the girls who are, you know, in the office, okay. When they're just looking at me like, mm, mm, and then I just, I just know I'm supposed to do it. Just know. And I go ahead, and then after the fact, people are like, that was a good decision. And the only reason why it was a good decision is because I was waiting on God to give me a green light. Now God gives green lights through his word first. You can't expect to hear from God if you don't read his word. You know, I got my big old— let's see, it's down here somewhere. Here it is. My big old thick heavy Bible, you know, and I have a lot of Bibles, but this is the one, you know, in, um, back in BSF, so I can be accountable. You hear his voice when you know his voice. You get to know his voice by studying his word. And there are times when I talk myself out of things or into things because I'm really not paying attention to what God is saying. I'm not paying attention to his green lights. Often green lights God gives us are green lights that come from wisdom, people in our life that have wisdom. If every wise person in your life is saying the same thing, then you might want to say, is my green light dysfunctional? Am I— do I really have a green light? There ought to be some wisdom, some sensibility. Now, there are people who have had a green light from God and everybody else in their life was saying no, and they just knew. But, but you can't know that you can break out there if you don't know God's voice. And you get to know his voice um, by reading his word. So that's the first thing, is in your purpose, if you're waiting for God to tell you to move forward, let's say in a relationship, you need to know his voice. You need to read his word, and then you need to know— when you know that you know that you know down deep that God is giving you a yes, and you only know to move forward when you've been talking to him. Some of us want to know what to do and we don't talk to him. We don't talk We don't journal. We don't talk out loud. We don't pray. We don't get on our knees. We don't, we don't set aside time to be still. We don't talk to him while we walk. You can pray a lot of different ways. That's one of the things that I tried to convey in the book, The 28-Day Prayer Journey. You can talk to him however, but if you're not talking, if you're not walking out this role that you have in life of connecting with God, who has said, listen, like, I'm here. Like, there are things happening in the heavenlies. There are things happening spiritually. And I actually want to tell you about them, but you'll never know if you don't actually talk to me. I want to say that the purpose, the purpose, the purpose that you are seeking comes in the conversation. It comes from the conversation. It comes from God downloading his purposes to you. It comes from the download. Okay, so you keep your sanity because you're not thinking and ruminating on your future. You're getting it out. You're sharing your concerns with him and saying, listen, this is what's on my mind. I need you to do something about this. I need you to fix this. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know what to do about this. I— give me, give me a sign, God. Show me something in your word. Bring a person in my life. Let me hear a sermon. Let a scripture come to me. Let me hear— can you do something that tells me, that teaches me? But pouring it out is what gets it out of you. The reason why— one of the reasons why counseling is so successful, or therapy is so successful with some people is because apart from someone to talk to, apart from someone to get it out, apart from that, they keep it all balled up inside and they never actually can, can straighten out the confusion. And so to straighten out the confusion, some of y'all, yeah, you need to see a therapist. Yeah, you need to go to counseling, but some of y'all just need to pray. You just need to get it out and say, God, listen, this stuff has been going on on the inside of me. I can't figure it out. So I want to know my purpose. Can I talk to you about the purpose for me? Can I talk to you about the purpose for my children? How do you want me to wire them and direct them? Can I talk to you about some things in my marriage? Can I talk to you about my career? I know this career isn't it, but I don't know what steps to take next. Can you, Holy Spirit, enlighten my mind? Can you drive my heart? Can you cause me to burn on the inside when there's something that I need to do? And yes, Janetta Hoschstetler, I think that's it. Yes, fasting and praying about it too. So I want you to know that if you can get it out, that's the beginning to seeing things clearly. So that's what I'd say. What to do? Start praying about it. Stop worrying about it. Stop asking the questions to figure it out and just pray about it and watch what God will do to you as you study his word, right? And as you move forward with the yeses that he's already given. Some of us are looking forward in purpose and we're like, I just need to change my life. And he's like, yes, but there's a community college 10 minutes from your house. Start somewhere. Like, start, start trying to figure out all the things and start somewhere. Hey, Christy Cole Harper. Okay, Dayra Madrid said, encouragement to branch out in life, make new friends, take steps to start a business, to go back to school and volunteer at church. I feel like I'm not able to do all the things I want to do. I'm just stuck in a lot of areas and don't know where to start. Pick one. Pick one. You're stuck because you're trying to figure it out. Just Pick one. That's my advice to you. Just get going. Ches, navigating merging one's purpose, my gifts and my calling, my ministry into a business through the gifts and talents given. Okay, so I just, I am a fairly strategic thinker and I do like to figure all things out. I do like to put life together like a puzzle, to group things together that are alike. To put in my edges and my boundaries and then to fill in the space. I like to attack my life that way, but sometimes it's just a thing. It's just, it's just a thing. Okay, so let me give you an example. So the Inner Circle, um, started because people used to say, Chrystal, you get online and you do these podcasts and these videos for free. You give us all this content for free, and I just know that what you're doing is a blessing to me. And I want to sow into your ministry. I didn't have and still don't have, as of this time, a 501. I wasn't trying to do that. I wasn't trying to take donations, but people kept asking me. And then I would, you know, people— then I was, you know, figuring out my PayPal and doing all these things. And so one of the girls on the team said, you ought to consider Patreon, like start somewhere. So I started somewhere. Okay. And there were like 10 people in there, right?. And then we said, you know what, let's try to be intentional about building that. Um, because people, some people may not know that there's a way that they can give. So then we went to the retreat and we said, hey, if you want to continue to receive extra stuff, join the inner circle. And so then I think we got up to like 80 people. Okay. And I've always just was trying to create a way to offer to people who wanted to give. And then it became, maybe this is something, you know what Moses said, how can I do this? How can I do that? How can I do this? Right? And, um, God said, what do you have in your hand? Okay, so then I said, well, God, I'm trying to figure out— because I have children, I have a husband who, you know, has challenges sometimes with his health. I want to be around as much as I can. And the income for me has been writing books and speaking. But I was like, my children are, you know, my son, one of my sons is a senior this year. I want to be as available as I can. What can I do to bring more balance to my travel life so that I can be home more and so that I don't have to disappear. Hey, Misty Stern! So that I don't have to disappear from my family in order, you know, like for, you know, days at a time in order to bring an income. And so I thought, let me be intentional about stewarding Patreon. Okay, so y'all, now this business opportunity that is— I heard a man say one time it's a for-profit ministry. Okay, because this is how we eat. Um, it is ministry, that's my heart, but it is designed to support my family. That's what it's designed to do, as well as support the other girls who work here to create the content. So it has become a business. I didn't start there. I started with responding to somebody who said, how can I serve, right? So then I responded to serve, or I was serving anyway, they want to know how they could serve me. So I said, okay, let me figure that out.. So now in figuring that out, I eventually said to the thing that I wanted to do, to my pain point, what has God given me in my hands? And am I stewarding that? You think about the people with the talents in the Bible, right? And God said, listen, I'm leaving you. Jesus said, do, do with this, invest this, make something of this when I come back. And the only man that got railroaded was the one who did nothing with what he had in his hand. He said, I didn't need you to do what she did or he did. I didn't need you to make 10. I didn't need you to make 5. I didn't need you to make 8 or even 3. I was like, just use what you have in your hand. And he got railroaded by Jesus because he did nothing. He didn't look. And so the guys were only supposed to multiply what was in their hand. So now me doing the Inner Circle, me having the Sister Circle online event, me having, um, you know, me, me honestly, like, here's my vision, here's my vision. I'm telling you this Chez, because it's really not that hard. You start with what you have in your hand. You start there. And then as you move, uh, God lights up the steps for you because you're moving. This is what I talked about in, um, um, you know, Follow the Crumbs in She's Still There, my book She's Still There. If you haven't read it, get it and go straight to that chapter. It's like you have to look at what God has already left for you that's visible. He's left in you because it's a part of your design, or he's left in front of you But then when you see what he's already given you, then you go with that and you start. Everybody's had to start with something, right? Oprah, as a major mogul, right, media mogul, she started trying to get a job in a— as a newscaster after she got fired from her other one. She started with that. She wasn't trying to be a media mogul, she was just trying to get a job. All right, Ben Carson, as a, you know, as a person who we've all seen in politics, and now he has a role in government, he started with I'm just trying to be a doctor. He's a doctor, right? LeBron James, he's a great philanthropist, he's doing all these things and starting schools, but what was he? A kid who wanted to play basketball and go to college. Like, you start with what's in front of you, and then you will see that God can light up your steps. He can light them up. Okay, so for me, lighting up my steps now means This is what I do. My job as a person who is crafting and creating a sister circle is not just to present my content to my audience. My job— this is my purpose that I did not know back when I was like, let me just let them give me the $20 they want to give me because they're grateful that I keep putting it, because you know, this stuff costs money. Like, you know, the, the, even the, the program that I'm on right now to broadcast to multiple places at the same time them. Like, that has a monthly cost. The email list has a monthly cost. And I just thought, that's great, let them help me out with my, with my cost of doing business. That's what I was starting with. Now that's not my purpose. That's not my mission. I am supposed to help women who have great content, and they may not have written the book, or they may not have a speaking circuit gig going, but they have great content. They, they know their stuff. They have a skill. They have an ability. They have a talent. They have life experience, and I'm supposed to connect them with you. My job is bringing people together, and women that don't have a platform yet, to say, let me help you out with that. My platform isn't the hugest platform, but it's bigger than a lot of people's. So how can I serve not only my audience who needs the information, but how can I serve the women who have the information for them and they don't know each other? And that's what I do in the events, that's what I do in the Inner Circle, that's what I do with my podcast, that's what I do with my videos. Show. So my purpose was not something that I knew. It developed as I moved forward. So that's what I'm saying to you. Start with what you have in your hand. Okay, there were a few balance questions. Oh shoot, am I gonna have to go live again? Ah, I may have to go live again. Well, I'm gonna start. Okay. Connie Boyd said, marriage. You mentioned in the podcast intro about all the struggles we're struggling with— intentionality, not being allowed interruptions from kids, having good quality time, and giving each other space when the husband's working from home and mama's used to having her own space. The kids went back to school. Girl, whatever you want to talk about marriage-wise, what the Lord speaks to you is always right to what I need. Thank you for your heart and your ministry. Okay, I always am like, I will never write a book about marriage, y'all. I'm just not gonna do And I know what y'all are thinking, Chrystal Hurst done everything, never. I'm never going to do it. Cause the enemy attacks us sometimes in the places that we talk about. I don't need no attacks in that department. Not doing it. So, okay. All right. So here's what I will say about marriage. What I will say. Um, is what I will say is that you should not treat other people better than you treat the man that you're living with. That's what I will say. You should be intentionally kind. You should be intentionally honoring in your speech. You should attempt to look for ways that you can be trusted. Y'all feeding me books. I see y'all. You should look at ways that you can get to heaven's gates. And no matter how your marriage is, that God will say to you, good job, girl. Good job. Now I'm not talking about a marriage that's dangerous and that you need to get out for your safety. I'm not talking about abuse. In those situations, you need to get counsel and get instruction. Maybe you need to separate, uh, you— maybe you need to move forward doing something different, but you need to do that with counsel in your life. But what I'm saying to you is love with your lips, because y'all, some of us tear them up with our mouths, and then we wonder why their heart does not trust us and why they shut down and why they're clammy and why they don't want to engage. It's because you have been killing them for years with your lips. So that's what I will say. I will say, watch your lips. Yes to the Five Love Languages. That's a great book. If you've never heard of that book, listen to it on Audible or whatever. So, all right. Okay. So that's what I will say. Okay. Let me see what else I had with Balance. Okay. I will say this too. Jennifer asked about keeping connected in marriage. Um, how do you stay in alignment when life and stress is feeling so heavy right now? Uh, we're far away from family, so we have to rely on each other. I would say create the opportunity or take the opportunity to be with him. Like, I'm not interested in football, but if I know if I just sit down next to my husband while he's watching football, that communicates to him that I'm interested in what he's interested in. Now I have to tell you, I don't do that very often. I'm normally like, great, the boys are watching football. That means I'm free to do whatever I want to do. Nobody cares. But I will say that if you— oh yes, and The Power of a Praying Wife is an awesome read as well. I will say that, that is a kind of a magical way to just say, I'm— I want to do with you what you want to do. I want to do with you what you want to do. So that's another way to communicate and to connect, because we often think connecting has to be in some way that, you know, that we are all on the same page. Now, what if connecting means you're just doing what he wants to do. So you get to connect with him in that. I may have to go live again, or I may have to finish this up. Oh wait, is this— hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on a minute. Maybe I have covered most of the questions. These are just a little not quite Okay, yeah. Okay, I'll answer one more question because a lot of people ask this question about balancing life, like everything— your kids, your grown kids, your grandchildren, getting food on the table, seeing your people, seeing your siblings, uh, you know, having enough time for you in general. I would just say if you've never gone through the exercise of of mapping out your time, okay? If you have never gone through that process of looking at your week and mapping it out and putting the most important things in, that at least if I'm, if I'm struggling with time enough for my family, okay, then I can look at my weekend saying, this week, this is where the time with my family goes, this is where time with my husband goes, this is where time my kids go. I'm going to make sure I at least talk to my sister, you know, at least a couple of days this week. Like, you know, writing down either in a schedule or in a list, the things that have to come first and then, and then after that, then filling it in. And then you have to keep looking at that list or that schedule and saying, have I done what's come first? Because you will never be able to— balance is not the ability to do all the things. Okay. Balance is the ability to do the things that are the most important in this season. It's not about balance, it's about prioritizing. Okay, and if you're constantly in response mode, then you're never going to be balanced because you will never be prioritizing the things that need to come first. Balance is not a place that you achieve, it's something that you are constantly— it's like, it's like riding a bike. You never achieve balance, you're just constantly negotiating the pulls of gravity. And you get better at negotiating the pulls of gravity. Because the minute you stop negotiating the pulls of gravity, your bike will go one way or the other. Skateboard is the same way. As soon as you stop being intentional and stop putting forth the energy, you lose the balance. So you have to stop this idea of, I gotta achieve it. You are changing, your kids are changing, your job is changing, your spouse is changing, your relationships are changing. The seasons are changing. As soon as you figure it out, you're never going to be able to relax. You— it'll get easier, you'll spend less energy, because once you figure some things out, you don't have the startup energy required. But you, you're constantly prioritizing. So if you can do the work of prioritizing, then maybe what you're saying is, I'm not getting in the things that are important, so I don't feel balanced. Well, that's a matter of priority. So write down the things that will that are priority. Make sure you know when you're going to do them, how you're going to do them, and then let everything else fall in. Okay, constant movement and negotiation is work. A lot of people will say, I just don't know, like, you know, how to achieve things in my life. And what they're saying is, I'm not starting with something. Start with something, prioritize something, and then you'll be surprised how getting that bike moving— when you get the most important things done in your life keeps the bike moving even when stuff comes your way. When the terrain changes and I'm on a bike, when the terrain changes and I'm on a bike, I may have to work harder to keep my balance on grass than I did on the paved road. I may have to work harder to keep my balance on a road that has potholes and lots of grooves in the asphalt than I do on a nice smooth, uh, you know, on a nice smooth walking trail in a park. But I still have to work. So when the terrain changes, when you understand how to start and keep balance in your life. You know how to do that because you know how to prioritize. Okay, so yes, um, to all the things. All right, no, I'm not writing a marriage book. I'm telling y'all, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. So what I will talk about going forward, y'all, There were a ton of questions about relationships. Relationships is going to be its own situation, and then business will be its own situation. But I am going to probably look— I think I got most of them though. I'm looking to see, did I get most of them? So, Chez, you asked me about reducing the overwhelm, balancing your priorities. I've talked about that a little bit. Studying, ministry, mentoring, work, family, friends, self. Let me just say this. When you prioritize, everything doesn't fit. Okay? Everything doesn't fit. Lucretia said, I'll write a chapter if you do. Y'all are not going to get a marriage book out of me. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm going to write about shame and forgiving yourself. I'm gonna write about that. I'm going to write about— I will write one day about motherhood. I'm going to write about that. I'm not writing about marriage. I'm not doing it, not doing it. I will tell you, David and Tamela Mann have a great book about marriage. Okay, so most of the time, y'all, if we— like what you said, Chess, studying, ministry, mentoring, work, family, friends. Okay, somebody asked me, um, and it's not the person who asked me yesterday because she's on live and I'm not talking about you. There's somebody yesterday that asked me about mentoring them. I'm not talking about her. Somebody earlier this week asked me about mentoring them, and I said to her, listen, normally when I mentor people, it looks one of two ways. They're an intern, and they just have ongoing access to me to ask me whatever they want. Um, you know, we have teachings, but they have access to me. Or they're in person, and I say to them, come on over and help me fix dinner. Cause while we fix dinner, then we can talk. Or come on over. You know, I'm, I'm folding clothes today. Come on over. You take a basket. I take a basket. Let's talk. Come on over and share with me in ministry at the church. You know, like walk, you know, that's because listen, what a lot of people think mentoring is like going to coffee and stuff. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Now I love doing it though. But the priority for me in mentoring means that it doesn't mean I go to coffee. You know, I don't, I don't, I rarely do that because I'm trying to be present with my family. And right now I'm holed off in a room while they're probably over there trying to figure out what's for breakfast. And I'm going to get off and go over there and make sure they know what they're eating. But the point is, I, I have to be intentional about where my time goes because I, these kids aren't going to be here forever. They are not going to be here forever, and I don't want to live with regret. So we've always homeschooled. Um, once my oldest daughter in the 6th grade came home, we homeschooled, and I have been able to prioritize them. Not always the best. Sometimes we don't start history until November, and then we cram it in for 6 months. We double time it to get it done because I didn't do it for the first 3 months of the year. Oh, Monique is walking in. Come on in, Monique. You don't want to come in and say hi to the people? I have a little, a little space where we get to office. She's coming in now. She's probably like, oh my gosh, she told the people. Anyway, so I have to make mentoring fit. And so sometimes what we're trying to make fit, we're trying to make it fit in a way that doesn't fit this season. Okay, so you have to, you have to be intentional about that. Okay, I let them sleep this morning, Janetta. I let them sleep. It's cold outside. I've been, I've been a wuss. We have a schedule. They're supposed to be downstairs at 8 to eat breakfast. 8:30, they're supposed to be willing to clean up, do their morning routine. And at 9 AM, they start usually with math because nobody wants to do math in the afternoon. So my point to you, Ches, is work on priorities because maybe all the things that you listed— studying, ministry, mentoring, work, family, friends, self, self and family, and God, of course— but maybe everything else doesn't have to be done the way you're doing it in this season. Um, you talked about navigating seasons on a reduced budget, um, meal planning and organization. So those in and of themselves are a whole thing. Here's what I would encourage you to do. I, I, at some point I will probably do a course next year on meal planning. I actually have a whole ebook that I created at one point. It needs to be refreshed. And when I do that, I actually did that as a part of Mom School. Hey Monique, is Mom School like up and ready for people to grab? Yeah, it's on Teachable, right? No, it's on Crowdcast, but it's still the same UI. ChrystalEvansHurst.com/momschool. Okay, so it's ChrystalEvansHurst.com/momschool, and one of the sessions there was about managing your family and managing meals. So you can check that out if you missed Mom School and you're home with kids still, check that out. But there was one about like organizing your life with kids. And I talk a little bit about that in there, but next year I'll probably— it's because it's a whole, it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. But what I want to tell you, Chaz, is educate yourself. Like, get on YouTube and just Google meal planning, like, for real. And I know you want me to tell you, but until I get ready to do that, because that doesn't fit right now in this season, I got to finish a book. Meal planning organization— there's a mom of 9, I think, who I follow on YouTube and Instagram, and she's always just sharing hacks. I'm a sucker for a hack. I love a good hack. So educate yourself and take responsibility for that. And budgeting is the same. So yeah, so that's what I will say, because I, you know, for me to get into all that, what I will say is look at— sit down and prioritize. What is the first thing that you want to master? If the first thing is getting meals on the table, I would say start there, honestly, because if you can figure out what's for dinner every day and for lunch and for breakfast, then that means that's one thing every day you don't have to think about. And then you can start to work on these other areas. Okay. All right. I think I pretty much, I may not have called everybody's name, but I will say thank you to Taya Loops and Rosalyn Malone and Alatusan Zamuel, Jennifer Brown, Tony Clark, Nadia McIntosh, Doris Wright, Maddie Hunt, Emonique, Maddie, uh, Chono Sako, Daira Madrid, Chez, Connie Bird. I think I got most of you for balance, and I think I got it as I'm looking at your questions. Um, the only thing I would say, Christina Frazier, you have a lot going on like me. You got kids and grandchildren and parents and sisters and family and friends. I want to also say be sure not to, uh, neglect taking care of yourself, okay? Don't neglect taking care of yourself because you're no good to anybody else if you're not taking care of you, okay? Here's what I would love for you all to do. I would love for you all, A, to share this video, whether you're watching on YouTube or Facebook. Instagram, I take it down, um, but then it's always up on YouTube and Facebook. Look, okay? Because it's not like the way it want— I want it to look. All right, and so, um, okay, so that's number one, share it. That'd be awesome if you would share it. Number two, I would love for you to consider joining me for the online event, okay? And the good thing is, is if you're in the Inner Circle, because I know everybody can't— I mean, I know times are hard, right? So I'm always looking for ways to try to make it easier. If you're in the Inner Circle, or if you're not joining on Sunday, you at least get to come to the two keynotes for free. All the Inner Circle gets to come for the, uh, to the keynotes for free. And then, um, I want to encourage you to join the Inner Circle because we will be starting our 21 days on Sunday, and then you'll be in for all the goodness in December. That also means you'll get a planner if you haven't yet gotten your planner. And, um, and if you are already in the Inner Circle and you've gotten your first planner free, you get the rest of them for 50% off. So that's cool. So anyway, I want to encourage you to join me and, um, and I want you to be ridiculously intentional, okay, about looking at your life and saying, where have I— for all the things I can't seem to do, where have I not been intentional about spending my time wisely? Okay, because time is the greatest commodity that you have after your health, because health is wealth. Your time, probably before health, because if you spend your time wisely and include care of you, you may not be sick later in life. The inner circle is chrystalevanshurst.com, because Instagram you can't see the, the lower thirds /innercircle, chrystalevanshurst.com/innercircle, and then, uh, chrystalevanshurst.com/tsonline if you want to join the event. Um, if you go to that website I gave you, 2x2 Cast, it tells you everything about the Inner Circle you want to know. Okay, and if you joined, y'all, if you join and you just joined at $5, you got to remember on Sunday to level up. Because the coaching level is where all the stuff is that I'm talking about. All right, y'all, there's so many things we're trying to do, and I like— if I try to tell you all about them, there's the Facebook group and there's the Instagram and there's this and there's that, then there's the classes and there's all the things on. So I just am trying to tell you about a couple of things at a time. So Inner Circle, chrystalhurst.com/innercircle, and then the online event chrystalevanshurst.com/tsonline. Okay. All right. Have a great day. Decide right now. Let me give you homework. Decide right now. What is the one thing? If you do this one thing today, that will make today a win as you seek to prioritize. Okay. And maybe you're like good with Bible study and prayer. Like I got that down. I got that down. But maybe you haven't been good with speaking kind words to your husband, or maybe you don't know what you're eating tonight for dinner and you're like, I'm sick of being stressed out when dinnertime comes. And so you decide, or you can get on, you know, Pinterest or whatever, all recipes, and decide. Or maybe you're like, I have not started that book and I should have. In COVID-19, there was no reason why I shouldn't have started that book. Well, maybe today you write 300 words. What can you do? I feel like a newscaster. What can you do today that will enable you to see that you are prioritizing your life, using your time well, and making the most of what you have? You don't have to do everything today, okay? Just do one thing, okay? Yes, the one thing. Bless Home and Body is a great book. Um, oh, you want me to tell you that and I don't have the— you know what, Faith Williams, as long as you're on my email list, we'll put that in there when it's time. Okay. She was asking about the Bible study with me and Priscilla and my mom. And off the top of my head, I don't remember what it is. Do you know what it is, Monique? For the Bible study, is it loisevans.org/seasons? Am I making that up? We don't know off the top, so just pay attention. We'll put it in the email. All right, talk to you later. Have a wonderful Friday. This is the day that the Lord has made and you can choose. I will rejoice and be glad in it. And that's my churchy comment for the end of the day, but it's true. You gotta choose. All right, y'all, love you much. And I will see you on Monday. Oh, and listen to the podcast, y'all, by Deborah Pagay, cause she is on fire. It's episode 276. Is that right, Monique? Chrystal Hurst.com/276 and get more goodness for your life. All right. Talk to you later.