Need to Focus? Help for the Multi Passionate Person

Listen, I have a question for you. Do you ever feel like you're just all over the place? Listen, that is how I live my whole life. I want to make you feel a little better about yourself and give you some tips for organizing your all-over-the-place-ness on today. Let's get to it. Hey, my name is Chrystal Evans Hurst. If it's your first time here, welcome to the party. You are here enjoying the buttoned-up edited version of a weekly live that I do inside of my membership, The Inner Circle. The Inner Circle is for women who say, Chrystal, we love your blogs, we love your podcasts, we love your videos, and we want more. Can you be our big sister? Coach us a little bit, help us through life, bring the fun and the foolery. And I say yes. Every Monday morning. So we're on usually like an hour or two. It's like a morning radio show, and then at the end I say things that are important, and that's what you get here. If you'd like to join us in the Inner Circle for the stuff that's fun, maybe not always important, but definitely laugh-worthy and sister foolery-worthy, then join us on the inside. chrystalhurst.com/innercircle. We'd love to have you there. That said, let me get to the buttoned-up version of what I want to say on today. I know that I'm supposed to say just today, but let me, let me enjoy my foolery. Why don't you listen at this? And I also know that that should be listen to this, but you know, let a girl do what she wants to do. I was recently at an event on stage with my dad and one of my siblings, and we were in a Q&A session. And during the Q&A session, we invited people to ask whatever they wanted. One gentleman asked, I have a question for Chrystal. I see you doing so many things. I'm just curious, which of those things do you enjoy doing the most? That was code for, girl, you all over the place. What are you doing with your life? And he's kind of right. I mean, yes, I sing, I speak, I write, uh, I own a small business. That's what the Inner Circle is. We create products. I am a homeschooling mom. I, uh, travel and I speak and all these different things. I'm an author a few times over. Yeah, I'm doing the most. I work at the church, I lead women, I keep working on the pastor's wives ministry that my mom started. And then, you know, like, I have to go to football games on Friday. I am doing the most. And while I am always thinking about and working on consolidating— I'm not a good consolidator, you know, as one of my friends would tell me, girl, you just mushroom all over the place, you just keep thinking of things. And it's true, my brain won't stop. Did you ever see the movie A Beautiful Mind? Sometimes, y'all, I just get mental like that. My brain just won't stop. I actually carry a notebook with me all the time to capture all the ideas that just won't slow down. I am aware that you do have to consolidate and slim down and focus. I got it. I've read books like Essentialism. I've read books on focus. I've read books on, you know, The One Thing. I'll put links to those books down in the show notes. You can check it out because those are great books. Butter, I'm a— it doesn't always mean that being ruthless about pulling things off my plate I'm good at. I'm working on it all the time. When he asked the question, I actually felt a little bit of panic in my soul because I was thinking, I have no easy way to answer that question. It's like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to answer the question. So I tried. I felt like I bumbled through my answer and I went to my hotel room that night thinking about how I could have better answered that question. Have you ever had that feeling? Like after you take a test, you're like, after the fact, you're like, ooh, I should have said this, or I should have chosen C, always choose C. And I was like, I wanted to answer that question better. I have an answer to that question now, and I want to give that answer to you because I think that my answer to that question, the answer that I've worked hard to create, is a key that will unlock— whoa, I got chills! Oh my gosh, so that means this is going to be good. I think it's a key to unlocking this answer for you. I believe it with all my heart. Like, I don't know, I answered this question in my head for myself. I've been rehearsing it all weekend long because it was that good to me. Oh, sorry, when I get chills up my spine, I think it's going to be good. I think this is a key to unlocking this concept of purpose where so many people feel like I have to know what my calling is and my purpose is, and they're stressed out if they don't know or if they can't narrow it down? I want to break it down for you and tell you my answer to the question. You ready to hear it? Here we go. Of all the things that you do, what do you think is the most important? What do you think is the biggest thing? What do you think is the thing that matters the most? What do you enjoy doing? What's the priority of what you do in your life? Here's my answer. My mother wrote a book called Seasons of a Woman's Life. She wrote it because it is true. In a woman's life, in the life of people, there are seasons, and you have to acknowledge and give yourself permission to live your life in those seasons, realizing that every season is not the home for everything. But in those seasons, you get to ebb and flow with what that season will allow, what you feel is most important in that season, where the trial and error needs to be a part of that season, where you get good and you have a high efficacy in that season because you've been practicing something for long enough. And if you don't get locked into thinking, I have to do one thing or two things well in every single season, you will free yourself up. In the book that she wrote, and I'll make sure that you have a link to that also in the show notes, or if you're watching on YouTube, in the comments below, she talked a lot about children and family and how there are seasons where you stay home more because your children are small. And then there's the season where you're in the street because your children are, you know, active in their schooling. And then there are seasons where you're empty nesting. There are seasons in ministry where they had to do the hard work and they did everything themselves. My mother used to make the Sunday bulletin herself. She would type it up. And then she had a machine in the house that she would make the copies herself. It wasn't a copy machine, it was a machine that you had to like roll the ink over and back, and she would make them herself. That season did not last forever. Later on, they sent them out to a printer. There were seasons where she transcribed every message of my father as he preached on Sunday morning herself, and then there were seasons where they hired out the transcription to another company. The season shifted even though the job remained the same, and she freed herself up based on the season of her family and the season of her authority at work to do the same things differently. You have seasons in your life and you have to free yourself up. There are some seasons where you're going to dabble in certain things for enjoyment and where you're going to hone in on them because of your commitment to do them well, or in a professional sense. You have to know that it's not about doing it the same way all the time. It's flow. It's flow. Balance is a misnomer, and how you quote unquote balance your life will shift with the seasons. You have to give yourself permission to do that. That is the foundation of what I want to tell you about what my answer is to the question, because I believe that you have to live life in seasons and you have to give yourself permission to ebb and flow with the season of life that you're in. I have learned to ebb and flow with these things. I feel the pleasure of God when I sing. I feel the purpose of God when I write. I feel the power of God when I speak. And I feel as if I'm cooperating with God's passion for his people when I lead, when I disciple, when I mentor. And along the way, because I'm committed to motherhood, I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Pleasure, purpose, power, and passion. Let me tell you why I think this is the key to you unlocking. I love singing, but there were 20 years where I did not do it consistently at church because I had small children, and coming to a weekly choir rehearsal I wasn't, I wasn't able to do that. My husband traveled a lot for work, and then I traveled a lot for work. And I went back to sing on the praise team just a few weeks ago. I went and auditioned, and on the little application it said, what is your experience with the music ministry at your, at this church or other churches? And as I took out my pen, I was just laughing. I've played the piano, I've directed the choir, I've sung on the praise team, I've led praise and worship. Like, before y'all even got here, I did all the things. But I filled out the application and auditioned anyway, and I'm glad to be back. I feel the purpose of God when I write because writing has always been a part of who I am. I've been writing and journaling since I was young. I love writing. I know and have always known that that was going to be a part of what I've done. I've wanted to, early in my 20s, write a book. It's always on the list of things to do. So I knew that that was a part of God's purpose. But did I think I only wanted to be an author? No. I feel the power of God when I speak because speaking is not what I was naturally wired to do. Priscilla is a speaker. Jonathan is a speaker. Tony Evans is a speaker. So when I speak, I feel the power of God when I speak because I feel that he's enabling me to do something I don't naturally feel like is my first language. And I know that God loves people. So whether I am with a group of women for Bible study for 6 weeks, or whether I am teaching women on a Wednesday night at church Whether I am leading and creating organizational charts and working on budgets like I was this weekend for church stuff, or whether I am talking one-on-one with a woman who's trying to figure out where she can get to work in the ministry, it doesn't matter. I know that I'm participating with what God wants us all to do, which is to disciple and teach each other. So I don't feel like I have to choose between leading and speaking, or speaking and writing, or writing and singing. I think God wants us to live full-spectrum lives where some of what we do is built into our DNA and purpose, where some of what we do, we only do because we know it's the power of God at work in us. Some of it we do because we know that it's a part of who we are supposed to be as believers. Discipleship, mentoring, leading others, even if you're a mother, a father, discipling and leading your children is a part of God's passion for you. He's passionate about people. But that it's okay to sprinkle in your life things that you do just for pleasure. I'll never forget Eric Liddell said, as a missionary, people would say, why are you going to run in the Olympics? His answer was, I feel the pleasure of God when I run. There are some things in life that are a part of your destiny to do because you feel pleasure when you do If cooking brings you pleasure and you spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen cooking for people, hosting people in your home, cooking for yourself, making the food beautiful, putting together that doggone charcuterie tray— charcuterie tray, charcuterie tray, charcuterie tray— how do you say that word anyway? But you love it, so you do it. And somehow these things over the course of your life, they blend together You don't have to apologize for the seasons of life where you've done certain things that you have no idea why you did them, but later on you get to see how God uses it. I'm a firm believer that God wastes nothing, that you do what you know to do, that he told you to do last until he tells you what to do next, that you follow the breadcrumbs. And too many of us feel bad that we don't have these nice, neat, concise answers. That we can't say, all of my life I've done this one thing, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if you are a person who is multi-passionate as I am— and I'm not telling you not to focus, and I'm not telling you not to prioritize. You do need to prioritize, and that's where the seasons of life come in. It's in different seasons you prioritize different things. In my first 10 years, I prioritized my job and I prioritized parenting. Because I was a single mom and that's all I had room for. In my 30s, I prioritized the passion of God for leading people. I taught my children the Bible, I taught them algebra, I, I organized my home. I learned managerial skills practicing professionalizing motherhood in my home, and I use those very same skills working with ministries at church and putting together leadership plans and development plans and teaching other women how to prioritize their time and project manage. These are skills that I learned managing my home. And then in my 40s, I started writing, something I always knew that I wanted to do. And the writing dovetailed into speaking. That wasn't my plan, it was God's plan for me. And then now I'm getting back to what I was doing in my 20s, which is singing. I had my piano tuner come. We had to put down some new flooring, and whenever you move a piano, you should have it tuned. So I had my piano tuner come, and I remembered that 10 years ago when we moved He told me, you know, I love teaching piano lessons, but I only like teaching piano lessons to people who actually really want to learn. I won't teach kids who are being made to teach the piano by their parents. I want to teach kids who are hungry. They want to know how to get the notes off the page. They want to learn the circle of fifths. They want to learn how to play by ear, to get a song in any key, and because they understand how the piano is put together, that they're able to maneuver the keys in any way they I want to. And at the time I thought I wanted my son to take piano lessons. Nope, it's gonna be me. So in January— I was a pianist for 10 years, and if you put a Bach two-part invention down in front of me, I can play it. Some people are gifted to play by ear. I'm not naturally gifted to play by ear, but you can be taught to play by ear. And so he'll come back in January after the holidays when he and I are both less busy And I'm going to get back to that. Why? Pleasure. Because life is short. And if God has put something in your heart to do, just because you want to, you find a season where it fits. Because seasons of a woman's life are a thing. Seasons of all of our lives are a thing. And you decide what you're going to shift, what you're going to stop, what you're going to move, what you're going to replace. And you make room for the things you love. It is up to us to know what brings us pleasure and make room for it. It is up to you to know what's a part of your purpose, because it's always been a part of your DNA, and make room for it. It is up to you to know where God is pushing you to do things that you never thought you'd be comfortable doing, but he relentlessly won't stop. And you get out of your own way, you stop reacting to fear and you allow the power of God to show up in your life. And that, you know, God is always passionate about his church. So you don't just go sit soaking sour, you serve. And you know that getting underneath what God wants to do with his people is a part of what he's called every single one of us to do. And then sometimes you just make the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You just do the things that have to be done because that's the season of life that you're in. You don't enjoy it, you don't love it, but it's required. And you know that doing what's required and what's needed where you're at makes all the difference in the world. With my last child— and I would have had more, my husband was like, you gotta stop, you just have to stop. I was like, you don't want to end with a cherry on top? Like, you don't want to go for that girl? You know, we had 2 girls and then 3 boys. You don't want to end with a girl? He was like, no, I'm done. I joke with them all the time. You know, Janet Jackson had a baby at 50. Can still do that thing. But I do remember thinking with my last baby, who's now 13, every little bit about that season, I relished. His toes, his smell, every diaper change. Who wants to change diapers? But when you realize that the days are long, but the years are short, And the days that are hard are often the good old days themselves. I'd been parenting long enough to know I will miss this season when it's gone, and I wanted to relish every bit of it. I'm glad I did. Sometimes those peanut butter and jelly seasons, whether they involve you taking care of children or doing rote work on your job, sometimes those peanut butter and jelly seasons are doing the dishes yet again or organizing the volunteer closet at church yet again because nobody else sees seems to put that stuff back where you organized it the last time. Sometimes those peanut butter and jelly seasons are the stuff life is actually made of. So if you've ever struggled to answer the question, what is my purpose in life? What is it that I'm supposed to do? What do I want to do? What do I say is my calling in life? What if your calling is multifaceted? What if you do need to know how to ebb and flow with the seasons? But what if you just need to own the fact that in different seasons you have multiple faces, that God did create you wonderfully and he maybe didn't make you a one-trick pony? So instead of apologizing for that or stumbling through my answers, I now know how to answer my question. I feel the pleasure of God when I'm singing, the purpose of God when I write. I feel the power of God when I speak, and I know I'm operating in the passion of God when I am leading, serving, and involved with his people. But y'all, there are seasons where I do what I have to do and make peanut butter jelly sandwiches along the way. What gives you pleasure? When do you feel like it's some way, shape, or form you're operating in your purpose? Even if it changes from one season to the next? When do you feel God's power? Because you know good and well you never signed up for this. When do you know you are cooperating with the passion God has for his people? And where in your life do you just need to be willing to show up and make the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to do what needs to be done? And that's the season you're in. And just feeling comfortable wearing this and saying, in this season, this is taking the lead. This year, what's taking the lead, I'm putting forth the effort, is going to Tuesday night choir rehearsal. I'm showing up for that. In a minute though, writing will take the lead because I got a book to finish. And as that book gets near to the end, there may be some pleasure days, some Tuesday nights I don't make it to choir rehearsal because I've got to prioritize. Every day I'm making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You see what I mean? Give yourself the freedom to ebb and flow with the rhythm of your life and know that in everyone's life there are seasons. I hope this frees you up to be whoever you want to be. I hope this frees you up to not feel the pressure that you have to do it all right now. I hope this frees you up to feel the freedom to do more than one thing as long as you keep it in proper priority. And if your answer shifts, give yourself some grace. Just go with it, you know. Jesus didn't start public ministry until he was 30, and the jury's out. Was he a carpenter? A lot of people think so. Some people think he was a mason. Upon this rock I'll build my kingdom. What we know is he was a blue-collar worker, okay? And then all of a sudden he started talking to people in a synagogue. He started teaching. And becoming a healer, and crowds were following him everywhere, and he shifted seasons. But he never was rich. He never had a place to lay his head. He never switched seasons and changed who he really was. He just changed the priority and what he did every day. So if Jesus can do it, so can you. My mother had seasons. Seasons where she was the boss. Seasons where she was the only employee. Seasons where she worked full-time. Seasons where she worked 2 days a week. Seasons where she was home with her children. Seasons where she was trying to fit in a class or 2 whenever she could. Seasons where she received honorary doctorates. We don't know how long we're going to be here, and I'm convinced that you do need to know what season you're in. But in your current season, sprinkle in a thing or two, why don't you? If you've got room in your season of purpose to sprinkle in some pleasure, go on and do that thing. If you've got room in your season of operating in God's passion for his people, leading others, discipling your children, being committed to the people that you lead at work, that's awesome. But don't leave the place of power behind. When you get a nudge for something that God wants to do in you, don't discount your power. Don't discount your ability. Don't discount what he sees in you that you don't see in yourself. Just go with it. Ruthlessly uproot things in your life that don't fit, but don't feel hesitant about nurturing the things that might. So that older gentleman that asked me that question, after he did When we dismissed, I walked up to him afterwards and I said, oh my goodness, I just want you to know I'm so glad you asked me that question. I feel horrible. I feel like I bumbled through it. I feel like I said a whole lot without saying anything. And he said to me, oh no, I heard you loud and clearly. What you told me is that God has given you giftings that you use at different times in your life, and what you very clearly understood are the gifts he's placed in you. Keep using them. I think you're doing a good job. I just was curious which ones you like doing the most, and what I heard you say, you love them all. They just all have a different place as they all have a different time, and that made total sense to me. I just want you to know that even if you feel like you're fumbling through it, don't worry. It has a way of making total sense to you the longer you live. The key is to just keep living and to show up for the things that God has placed in your path. If you feel a little discombobulated, well, welcome to the club. I don't know anyone who at one point or two in their lives hasn't felt a discombobulated spirit as well. The key is just keep going and know that as you put the pieces of the puzzle together, as God places them in your hands, eventually the picture will start to appear. So here's to pleasure, purpose, power, passion, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And I hope that this has been encouraging to you because I'm here, y'all, operating in power. Who knew that I was going to be on YouTube and Facebook and on video sharing things? I'll tell you who— God did. And when he pushed me to do it, start doing it a couple years ago, I just went with it. Sometimes this is life. Have a plan sometimes. Sometimes you just go with it. Here's to going with it. And I'm glad that you were here with me today. If you are here and you are not subscribed to this doggone YouTube channel or following me Facebook, or if you happen to be listening to the audio version of this on the podcast and you're not subscribed to the podcast, what are you waiting on? I am here every week and I'd love for you to be too. And that's it. I'll see you next week.