New Place. New Grace. #alittleQC

Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning! It's yet another Monday. It's another Monday. Whoop whoop! Good morning, good morning, good morning. Hey Marissa, I see you, you guys. I had a water, I had a bottle of water, and I left it. I left it. So I'm here for Coffee with Chrystal Hurst with no coffee, no water. But I hope you, I hope you have your morning choice of drink, whatever that may be. And I'm glad to have you joining me this morning to continue these Monday conversations. Where we can talk about a few things that I hope will be encouraging to you. Some of y'all have DM'd me to ask me about the tree. The tree is still there. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can go back, um, an episode or two and listen to the things that I've been having to do to deal with. And, um, and, uh, I have a few thoughts about that this morning. But I'll get to that in just a minute. Um, it is Monday, August the 17th. We are in the middle of the month of August, as in we are almost to the last, um, we're in the third quarter of the year. We are still in a season of, uh, modified quarantine. And life is continuing. So many of us are struggling because we've got to figure out kids' stuff and school stuff and work stuff and how we are continuing to basically fight for our lives because we're having to do things in a different way. And none of us have seen this season before. Even if you've seen a hard season You haven't seen this one because it's never happened. It's never happened. And so we are all having to find our new rhythms and our new normals and our new routines, new systems. And that means that you all can empathize and share with this idea of having to give yourself Grace, new grace for a new place. And so that was what I want to talk to you a little bit about this morning, how to do that. Uh, before I jump into that this morning, I want to remind you of a couple of things. Number one, be sure when you watch these videos to tune into the podcast. You can do that by, um, going to iTunes, uh, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify. And every week we moved our podcast release to Tuesday or Wednesday. Y'all, right now my whole life is just an ish. It's just a whole ish. I do my best, but things are still a little cray cray in my neck of the woods. And I'm trying to go to bed at night. How about that? I'm just like, you know what? It can wait. If there's one thing that the last 12 months have taught me, it's that whatever we're stressing out to do, it can probably wait. It can probably wait, you know? So y'all forgive me for being a little less than timely and a little less than consistent, but there is a podcast coming out still every week. Um, last week we actually released two, um, and you probably missed because we haven't sent the email out about it yet. My episode with Margot Starbuck where we talked about online dating. She's episode 266. So if you missed that one, or 265. Go check those out. Okay, the other thing that I want to make sure you know about, of course, is— and you probably heard me talking about already, but there's got to be somebody that's here for the first time, because every time I do this, there's somebody that's here for the first time. So I would love to hear if any of you, if it's your first time, like, just say first time, give me a thumbs up. But I would love to make sure you know about my new book that's coming out September 1st. It is The 28-Day Prayer Journey, and you can check that out by going to chrystalevanshurst.com/pray. Hey, newbies! Hey, newbies! chrystalevanshurst.com/pray. You can find out about the book, you can find out about how to buy the book, and if you bought it and have not yet told me on that site, ChrystalEvansHurst.com that you did by filling out the little blank at the bottom. Hey, newbies! Then you can do that, and then the, the, the extra special pre-order bonuses will come your way. They're coming your way in full shortly. The other thing that you can do, y'all, is if you have not yet joined the Facebook group— now I know that some of y'all are watching me from YouTube and you're like, I'm not on Facebook. Some of y'all are watching me from Instagram. You're like, I'm not on Facebook, but there is a group on Facebook called the Sister Circle Group. And here's what we're doing special for our Sister Circle on Facebook. We are doing a, um, a 7-day prayer challenge together. We're doing a 7-day prayer challenge together. And we're only doing that for the people who are in that group. So if you want to join that, That's just kind of something special we're doing as a group. I want to make sure you know about it. So if you're in the group, you don't miss it. And if you're not in the group and you're like, oh wait, wait, wait, I want to, I want to do that, then you can. So just go to ChrystalEvansHurst.com/pray to grab the book. And then for those who are in the group who have the book, we're doing a 7-day challenge, ChrystalEvansHurst.com Facebook group. Okay. Alrighty tighty then. So this week— last week I did Margo Starbuck, online dating. I did Jamila Jackson, living loved and blessed, like how to rise from the worst stuff in your life and see God do the best stuff in your life. It's great. And then this week I'll be talking about— be talking to two people. Barbara Rainey, we're gonna be talking about prayers for women, prayers that women need to pray, encouragement for you to pray. And then We're going to be talking to a lady named Megan Faith Marshman, um, when we can look at the adventure of trusting God. Because let me tell you something, if you trust God, you will live a life of adventure. How do I know that? Because he does not like to leave people in their comfort zone. He doesn't like to leave you the same. He's always trying to take you from glory to glory. He's always trying to see what he can do to make you look more like him. And trust me, unless you are on the other side of glory, you are on this side. You do not look all the way like him. And his joy is your sanctification. Somebody say sanctification. Big word. Okay, so the point is that you will always be on an adventure. Let me fix this camera. With God, because he takes joy in growing you up. So my oldest son is a senior-ish, 'cause ish is how I'm living my life right now. He's a senior-ish because two of my kids, two out of the three so far that have graduated or about to graduate, when they got to their senior year, we were like, meh, why don't you take some extra time? And that extra time has looked like what we call a super senior year, where basically they can stay an extra year and they can continue to take dual credit classes. They can continue to, you know, so we can officially— it's kind of like a gap year except it's not a gap year because you're still working. And so for kids who have gotten an early start and that extra year allows them to catch up with their age with their peers or to give them a year to, to give them a year to take some additional classes that will help them to mitigate the cost of that first year of college. We do it for a variety of reasons. And so anyway, my point is, is that this this firstborn son of mine, um, is on his way out. But he might not be all the way on his way out. We will see. We're talking about it. But I was saying to him the other day, there are some things he's decided to shift in his life, which he should be able to shift those things in his life. He's, you know, he's, he's, he's a young man who's getting older. That's great. Be a man. Be a man. But here's the thing most kids don't count on. Somebody who's raised kids knows this to be true. Somebody that's been a kid, somebody that's been a kid knows this to be true, which means all of us. There is a point in your life where you want freedom that your responsibility doesn't match. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? You want freedom You want privileges. You want a long line of disconnection, and your responsibility doesn't match that. And it's fine. But here's the, here's the thing that parents do, okay? And all of us have been parented by somebody. So here's the thing that parents do. Parents look at children who want more freedom. Or parents look at children who, uh, are— have grown. They're taller, their minds are more mature. Parents look at children who are, um, who are demanding their, their adulthood who, by the way, don't have any clue about what adulting actually means, because some of us have been adulting for 20 years and adulting is a thing. It is a verb. And we look at those children and we say, oh, well, hold on just a minute. Let me make sure that your responsibilities match your level of maturity. Freedom, because that's what happens when you get more responsibility and freedom. The two go hand in hand. You don't get one without the other. And if you give more freedom without giving more responsibility, you will have an entitled, spoiled brat person on your hands. If you give too much responsibility without giving some freedom, some legway, You will have a very frustrated person, burdened person on your hand. And the role of parenting is to say, let me help the process of growing you up. Now, here's what I also know from experience being a kid and experience parenting a kid. When you get those new levels of responsibility, you don't like it. You don't like it. You don't want to do more. To have more. You don't want to carry more weight to carry more freedom. Nobody wants that, but it's a part of growing up. So every one of us in our lives is going to hit a moment where we need to grow up. And with that growing process, that's what sanctification is. With that growing process, you, um, You have levels, you level up. So my boys play video games. I don't know how to pronounce your name, so I'm not gonna even try, but I'm sure I'm gonna put this on the screen 'cause I think this is great. You said, "I wanted to be an adult so badly. Now I'm 24 and I'm like, uh, I probably shouldn't have rushed it." It's all right, you can still slow down. You can slow down just a little bit. Just a little bit. So y'all, here's the thing about growing up. You know, we, we all, we all have this, this desire to want more. And with more comes more responsibility. Okay. With more comes more responsibility. And it's just the way life works. You want that new job until you realize that you have to work a little more. And I remember the first job that I had where I was not paid hourly, okay? So I'm coming out of college and I had a salary job, but they were pretty defined hours, pretty, you know, pretty— we all come in to work at this time, we all leave at this time, for the most part. It was a professional-level salary job, and you know, there you go. But from there, I wanted to break into the financial world, and I went to work in a customer service role at a major money market fund company. And that was hourly. Okay. If I wanted to make more money, I worked more. Okay. I would— if I wanted to make more money, I worked more. And then from there, I went back to a professional level job. Hey, Lady Teek from the Bahamas. Okay. At that new professional level job, I wanted to know what their expectations were. They did not have office hours, okay? They did not have office hours. They said— their response to me was, well, we just stay until the job gets done. That's what professional-level jobs are. You stay until the job gets done. But these people stayed until the job got done. Got there 7 o'clock in the morning, didn't leave most weeks until 6 o'clock at night. Nobody took a lunch around there. Then I took work home. Some of y'all have jobs like that. You stay until the job gets done. And sometimes that's a good thing because they're paying you to do a job. They're not paying you for the time that you spend. Let me give you a tip for those of you all who have to hire people. For, for you. You have people that work with you for your business. You're a business owner. You are in a position where you hire people for your job. You have to weigh in on people who are going to get hired for the jobs that you are responsible for. Let me just give you a hint, okay? There are two kinds of people in this world who work. Who work. Not talking about people who don't work. Talking about the people who do work. There are pay me for my time people and pay me for the job people. Okay, there are pay me for my time people and there are pay me for the job people. You want pay me for the job people. That's what you want, that mentality. You want people who understand that you're paying them to do a job, not paying them to mark time, because there are people And y'all, some of y'all have done it. Good morning, Guyana. Some of y'all have done it. You've been on the job before. You've been the kind of worker that just was watching the clock and doing only what you had to do until you got to clock out. You have been that kind of employee. Okay, you want the kind of employee though, whether they're paid hourly or, or for the job, however they're paid, you want the mindset of the person to be, I get the job done. I get the job done and I'm going to get it done efficiently and expediently and well. That's the kind of mentality you want. You want an ownership mentality. Have you ever heard people say good people are hard to find? Have you ever heard that? Good morning, New York. Good morning, Uganda. Have you ever heard people say good help is hard to find? Let me tell you why people say that, because it's True. And many people have an hourly employee— when— what they— hourly mentality. What they need to have is a get-the-job-done mentality. You want people who are— who take responsibility, who see things through to the end. And sometimes that's not the cheapest person. Okay, just wanted to say that out loud. If you have to hire somebody to work as a part of your team, or, you know, maybe your manager in your business, you want somebody who wants to get the job done, who has responsibility, and who's in it to win it. Okay, and if you've ever hired people before, you know you can sniff that out. Hey Anna, calling or watching from Fiji. You can sniff that out because after you've hired enough people, you know, you know. Yes, I have hanging from my refrigerator a little laminated— because when you homeschool your kids, you laminate things. You own a laminator. I never in my life had a laminator, and then I started homeschooling and I needed to laminate stuff, so I have a laminator. And it says, whatever you do, do it as to the glory of God. Yes. Kathy Scott. Mm-hmm. Yep. And I want to challenge you. If you are the person who has an hourly mindset, let me tell you how you can change something in your life. Let me tell you how you can make a shift in your life with who will hire you and how much they will pay you and how far you will go in your job. If you're trying to go somewhere, Stop working for time. Start finding out from your employer what's important to them, where they want you to go, how they want you to do it, how excellent they want you to operate, and figure out what you need to do to operate at a higher level of excellence and a level of responsibility and a level of understanding. Because people are looking for people who are good to hire, and they will choose you over the other person who's been there longer, who may even have a little bit more experience, if they know that they can trust you to get the job done. And many people want to know why they can't move forward in their lives, why they can't do the thing in their career, why they keep getting passed over for opportunities. It's because you have an hourly mindset. It's not your problem, it's not your company, it's not your responsibility. You just there cuz they paying you to be there. That mindset will get you nowhere. So that's just it. Just want to let you know, you want to see a shift in your life, be the person who's responsible. Hire the person who's responsible, who understands that it's about the job, not about marking time, and something will shift. I gave you that for free. Let me talk to you about this whole situation of New season, new grace. Okay, and I'm going to give you a couple of things that I hope will be helpful to you. I also want to tell you that as I, as I talk, as I am going through these and I'm talking with my team, my great intern team, and then there's Monique and a couple other people who I pick their brains sometimes and say, hey, listen, This is— I'm thinking I want to talk about this. And so we discussed this a little bit and we always want to try to point you to resources after this live that if you're like, I need more of that, that will help you with that. Okay. So be sure at the end, if I don't remember it, remind, remind me to remember that. Okay. So y'all, I'm in a new house, not right now because all my stuff, my books and my equipment are still set up at the old house. But I think this is the last week. I think this is the last week. Okay, told y'all about the tree, but here are my other problems. My other problems are when you move— somebody just told me, you know, moving is one of the top 5 stressors in life. It's one of the top 5 stressors in life. And And so it's not just the tree. So when you move, your, your places change. So right now, every time I go to get a fork, I have to, I have to think. Now it's in a functional place because I understand how to build a functional kitchen. Um, it's in a functional place, but it's still functionally a little, you know, it's in a new place. And so I have to keep thinking the forks are My kids come into the kitchen, they say, Mommy, where is the spatula? Because it's in a functional place, but it's not where it used to be. In this house, I had a little container that sat on the counter and all of my serving spoons went in it. In the new place, I have a big island in the middle of the kitchen, and I don't want to set a container in the middle of the kitchen with the— that's just not what I want to do. But that means nobody knows where the spatula is. So they have to keep asking me. Lashawn said, yay, I finally caught it live! I finally caught it live! Yes, you did, Lashawn. Thanks for joining. So even though it makes sense, it's still new, it's still different. And then, you know, when you move and you have things in boxes— right now I've got 2 boxes of shoes right here because I've been wearing basically 2 shoes for the last 3 weeks, and I'm good with that. Okay, moving is stressful because all of the things that you had on automatic are no longer on automatic until you get them on your new normal. So your new place demands that you give yourself new grace because things are in upheaval. They have shifted. And even the most organized of us, moving is a thing because there are things you have to do that come with moving. You have to change your address. You have to find a new way home from work. Has anybody ever kind of just been thinking about something one day and you took the turn to your old place and not your new place, you know, or you needed to stop by the grocery store on the way home. And so you knew that, but because you, you were on the phone or listening to the radio, listening to a podcast, you took the normal way home because you weren't actively thinking about the fact that you needed to go to the store, you know. So in a new place, you do have to find new rhythms, right? And you have to give yourself the grace to do that, okay? So many of us have movement in our lives, okay, and we are not giving ourselves new grace. Not only are we not giving ourselves new grace, we're not giving other people new grace. Y'all, the mommy wars have commenced. Are you sending your kids to school? I'm not sending my kids to school. I don't want them to get that rona. Oh no, I'm sending my kids to school. They're just gonna have to be fine. I gotta go to work. And then you're downing the mother who's killing herself to do what she needs to do to make herself available to have her kids home. The mommy wars have commenced. So let me just take a step to the side and just say this to all of you mothers. You are doing the best you can. And if you're not, you know you're not. But, but I'm speaking to those of you who are, who are killing yourselves trying to figure out how to make things work. You are doing the best you can, and don't let the decision that the other mommy made make you feel bad about the decision you're doing your best to make. Okay? All right, so here we are, y'all. In a new place we've never been in, in August. In my case, in the Texas doggone ridiculous high heat. Praise the Lord we had storms last night because this morning it is cooler. It's not going to get above 95, I hear. So I am so grateful for that. But it is the Texas heat, and I have never had to heat and cool the house that I'm in during a horrible Texas hot summer. So you want to know what I'm doing? I am running through my house telling everybody, and I'm not always telling them nice, turn the lights off, put down the air. Now you're just gonna have to sit here and be still and let the air breeze over you. We're not blasting 68 in here today. Absolutely doggone not, we're not. And I'm having to remember to give my people new grace for this new place because I just— I'm like, listen, sirs, all of you sirs, there's going to be an electric bill that comes and somebody is going to have to look at that bill. And that somebody doesn't want to have to be stressed out. But that stress of me going, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, it is so hot outside. It is coming out. It is overflowing. Which means I haven't been a graceful person. I haven't been super graceful. So anyway, I want you to— Charity said, we keep our house 66 year-round in Ohio. Listen, more power to you, more power to you. So anyway, yeah, so I'm having to not only give myself new grace, I'm having to extend new grace to my people. Because we're all in a new place. Okay, so new place, new grace. When you move, things shift. And when there are shifts in your life, you have to be kind enough— you have to be kind enough to say to yourself every now and then, just give myself some grace. Give myself some grace. Okay, um, my children, we do a slow start to school every year. We pick a few subjects to begin with and then we gradually build, and we are not full steam until after Labor Day. I see y'all commenting and I'm just curious now, I just want to know, where do you keep your thermostat when you're at home? What is your most normal thermostat setting? Because some of y'all have told me— I see 74. Somebody said 68 year round. We have a 68 anointing in our house. Y'all are freezing! Oh my gosh, what is y'all's temperature? What do you keep your thermostat at? 75, 77, 75, 77, 76. Okay, here come the normal people. So 77, 78. So for those of y'all who are like 78, does that mean you're blowing fans? 69, Shawnette, I see you. 70 to 72, 74, 71 all the time. Hey, Renee Terry. 74 during the day, 72 at night. Mm-hmm. 66 to 68. You believe in paying your air conditioning company. That's what you believe. Okay. We have room to room air. 75 in the day, 60 at night. 66 at night. Yeah, yeah. Whoo! Okay, yes to the fans, yes to the ceiling fans. Bibi said off, we keep it off. Oh my goodness, this is great, this is great. Well, you know, here's what I learned. I learned that thermostats, if you're married, never cease to be something that you and your spouse disagree on. That's what I've learned. My mother I went in the house one time and my mother wasn't in the room. This was earlier last year, maybe even the year before. And my dad said, "Turn the thermostat up." I said, "What?" And he was whispering. He said, "Turn the thermostat up." I said, "To what?" He said, "Shh, just turn it up." So I said, "Okay." So I did what he told me to. A little later my mother came in the room and she walked in and she stopped cold at the door. And she said, "Tony, did you turn the thermostat up?" And she said, 'Cause you know those West Indians know how to suck their teeth. She said, "Ch-ch-ch-ch." And she turned it back down. And he said, "Lois, it's cold in here." And she said, "No, it's not." And I was like, "Y'all have been married for 48, 49 years. Are y'all still not in agreeance on the thermostat? Is this what I have to look forward to?" Oh my good Lord. Okay, let me get off that. New place, new grace. When you move, you have to deal with new things, which means you need to give yourself new grace. Okay, new grace. Okay. Yeah, I'm with you, Susie. When somebody changes the thermostat just one degree, I know it. I walk into a room, I'm like, Jesse, did you turn it up? I know it. I know it. It's like I have a thermostat radar built in. It's true. Okay, y'all, let me get back on track. Y'all not gonna get me off. Off track. So here's the thing, here's what I feel good about in my new house. I feel good about— uh-oh, hold on. Hey Trey, y'all get up and get ready, I'll be there to take you. Okay, bye. All right, so my kids are like, where are you? I'll be back. Okay, so basically What was I— oh yes, here's what I feel good at. I got a patio. I love the patio, love the view, love my seat. I love everything about the house except this one thing. I don't— I'm not a decorator. Just like I don't know how to get dressed, black is the order of the day. I don't know how to decorate, so it's stressful for me to walk into a room and try to think about all the things that need to be done or could be done because it's You know, it means I have to choose. That means I have to make decisions. It means I have to think about— and now for the longest time, we have not bought anything for a really long time intentionally. Our mattress is old. Intentionally, we were like, we're gonna wait until we move, and then we're gonna slowly put things in the house that we love because we don't want to buy for where we are. We want to buy for where we're going, or where we are now, the new place. And so Y'all, I have the same couch I've had since my daughter, my oldest daughter, was 3. Um, we just decided to release some furniture that my husband had when he was single, and we've only— we've been married for 20 years. The mattress that we've been sleeping on is the only mattress we've ever owned. So we have intentionally, intentionally waited, intentionally waited. And now that I'm in the new place, I'm like, oh my gosh, what do I do? What do I do? I don't know what fits in this space. It is actually very stressful. And here's one of the things that I'm having to give myself the grace to do. One is go slow. One is glow slow. Okay, go slow. The other one is, well, there's 3 things. One is go slow. Two is cry uncle, call for help. And then 3 is it's okay to move things around, to try and try again. Okay, number 1 is go slow. 2 is it's okay to ask for help. 3 is it's okay to try it and then move things around. Okay, and here's what I want to say to you in your life. Okay, yes, we've been trying to be good stewards. Somebody's like, ooh, that's all gonna cost a lot of money. Well, first of all, we're gonna go slow, we're gonna call for help, and then we're gonna move things around and take our time, you know. Somebody said you may have to purchase the entire showroom floor at your favorite furniture store. Let me tell you what my husband and I just did. We went and we found a mattress. Now we've been going around to all the mattress stores, which by the way, did you know Mattress Firm and Sleep Expert are owned by the same company? You know, it is what it is. So you're basically just going around and finding the deal. We went and laid on the Sleep Number bed. We know our number. I know my sleep number. You know, we're doing all the things. Let me tell you something, mattresses, if you're gonna sleep well, they cost a pretty penny, okay? And we, you know, when you move, you also have an additional amount of, you know, you're spending a little bit more money. You got to turn things on, you got to whatever. And so here's the deal, we were like, you know what, we don't want to, we don't want to do that. We don't want to do that. We don't want to write a check for a mattress right now because Now y'all, we've left our mattress. This mattress that is at the old house, we did not take that with us. Okay, so, so I was sleeping in a chair, he's sleeping in the guest bed, then I'd flip, you know, we think because the guest bed is super, super, super small. So we would take turns. Listen, we went to Costco, we just bought it. We bought one of those memory foam mattresses. We threw it on the floor. We're like, you know what, this is on sale. And we're going to take our time. We're not going nowhere. This is the place we are supposed to occupy. And so even if we're going to occupy and take our time finding— why are we stressed? Why are we rushing? Why are we trying to get them to deliver on the right day? Why are we doing that? Just get something that works. So we just got a king situation, threw it on the floor. We're just like, we, we're just going to take our time. We're just going to take our time. Yes, Stephanie Dukes, a good mattress is worthy of major research and investment. So this is what we— so listen, y'all, I have this wonderful new home and I am sleeping on a mattress that's on the floor. You want to know why? Because it's okay to go slow. Who— why am I in a rush? What am I What, who am I trying to please? Nobody, nobody. And it's okay to take my time. My parents, when they moved into the house they're in now, I remember my mother saying, oh my gosh, it's so big. And how am I going to decorate it? And how am I going to clean it? And we walked in and we couldn't, and y'all, the house is not a humongous house. And my parents live in, when we moved in, it felt that way. It's like 3,000 square feet. It's not like what you would think. A lot of people are always surprised when they come to visit my dad, my mom at home. They would just assume, you know, Dr. Tony Evans lives in this huge mansion-ish like kind of thing. Nope, nope. Very, very simple people. But when we moved in, it felt huge to us. We were coming out of a 15-square-foot home and, and we made that move and we were like, wow, we have, you know, this side and there's a guest room and then this side and we have— we were just so very shocked at all the space that we had. And I remember my mother being overwhelmed at the idea of being in a new space. And I remember my mother saying to me later, take your time getting your home, finding your home. You'll know it when you see it. And then take your time because you have a lifetime to live in it. Take your time and put only the things that you love in your home. Don't rush and take a shortcut and just throw things in there because it's on sale. You need to love it. So we have not for years bought anything. We have not bought new furniture, new mattresses. The last time I bought a kitchen table, hmm. My husband brought his kitchen table to our marriage. We used that for maybe 3 or 4 years, then we bought a new table. So I've had my table 17 years. You know, take your time when you get into your new space, new job, new marriage, when you get into your new place, okay, new living situation. New homeschooling situation, new financial situation, when you get into your new place, when you are still working at home, when you are still feeling alone, when you are still doing hard things, when you are in these new seasons, let me tell you something. You need to find a new grace for your life. You need to learn how to smile and say, it's okay if I take it slow. It's okay if I ask for help. It's okay if I move things around and try different things. It's okay, because who am I trying to please? Who am I trying to please? Nobody. The only person that you need to be worried about is pleasing God and living your best life. That's it. Okay, if you're married, you need to be in union with your spouse. Yes, of course you want to give grace to your family, to your children, but what I'm telling you is grace is the word that is the order of the day. And so many of us don't know how to give grace to ourselves or to others. We just, we just don't know how. We're just not really good at it. We're just not. And we beat ourselves over the head because we just think we should have it right by now. We just, we just think we should have it right by now. And then we feel bad because we look to the right or to the left and we look at how other people are doing it. And the grace they have to do it in this season. And then we think, man, I should be doing it like that. No, you shouldn't. Be informed by the choices that other people make, but you don't have to be transformed by their choices if their choices are not for you. Be informed by other people's choices, but then you decide if their choices are supposed to transform you. The only thing that you need to worry about is your house. You understand? Your house and where you live, the people that you live with. That's the only thing that you need to be worried about— pleasing God and pleasing your family. And, and, you know, and then honoring you. Jesus, then others, then you. And then everybody else is extraterrestrial. I don't care what they're doing on Instagram. I don't care what they're doing on Pinterest. I don't care. I mean, you have to make things work. For you. Because yes, free indeed. It's toxic to you when you try to transform your space based on somebody else's grace. You don't have the grace they have for their husband. You don't have the grace that they have for their children. You don't have the grace that they have for their job. You don't have the grace that they do for their finances or in their finances. You got your finances. You have your situation, your home, your mentality, your physical body. So your place means you need a grace that's just for you. Be informed by it, okay? She said, where's the offering place? But you don't have to be transformed by— let me tell you what was the worst thing that we girls try to do, okay? The, the 3 things that our girls tried to— that us girls try to do. And before I get to the thing that— one of the worst things that we girls try to do. I want to just give a nod to Suzette who said, our Tempur-Pedic was our best investment. 3 years and just purchased our dining room. We said it's just us and we aren't trying to impress anyone. We have a feel for our home now, 3 years in. Don't you know that in your new places you got to get a feel for it? Okay, it's like breaking in new shoes. You can put on new shoes, but some shoes, there's no better thing than just to take your time and break them in. And if they're good leather, they will conform to how you inform them, right? They will conform to how your feet inform them, and they will be transformed to fit you. But here's the problem, y'all. Tempur-Pedic or Sleep Number? We like Tempur-Pedic or Sleep Number. Tempur-Pedic feels different. It's not normal. We're not used to that, but we did lay on it for about 15 minutes and we're like, ooh, why do we feel sleepy? So we'll see. Sleep Number is a million dollars. But, um, you know, anyway, the point is, here's what we girls do, y'all. We look at other people's situations. We look at other people's places and we don't have the grace for that. And then we try to stick our something in somebody else's situation and wonder why it's not transforming. If you are not Cinderella, don't stick your foot in Cinderella's shoe. It ain't gonna fit. It's not gonna fit. And Cinderella's shoe is designed to fit her. It was a glass slipper. It wasn't gonna bend. It wasn't gonna break. It wasn't gonna shift. It was going to fit her. And if you get on Pinterest get on Instagram, get on social media, go to your friend's house, you know, do all these different things, and you're looking at her marriage. She's been married for 25 years. Why are you trying to decorate her home and you just, you just moved into something 2 months ago? Take your time, slow your roll. It's okay. When you try to live to the beat of somebody else's drum, you are going to trip over your own 2 feet every single time. It's not your drumbeat. It's not your drumbeat. Yes, Charlie, we're on a memory foam right now. Not Tempur-Pedic brand, but memory foam from Costco. It's not bad. We've been sleeping pretty good. So when you try to beat to somebody else's drum, their space, their place, it's not built for you. Now you can learn from them, let it inform you, but don't try to take it off the bed, off the, off the shelf. And let it— and let it inform you, transform you, because it's not designed for you. Okay, so I'm living in the space, moving things around. No, I didn't get the Casper from Costco. I got the other one because the Casper was more expensive, and we are planning on getting a for-real bed. Not that that's not a for-real bed, but you know, we are. So I didn't want to put the money into the Casper, and it was extra. Oh, here they come. Sleep Number, Sleep Number, Tempur-Pedic, Tempur-Pedic. Okay, so Stearns and Foster mahogany, that's the other one that's in the running. We actually have gone to two mattress stores on two separate occasions, separated by about three weeks, and both times we were in the store and I said the last time we liked the Stearns and Foster bed, but I don't remember which one it is. We were at a new store, so we slept on it and we picked the Tempur-Pedic we like, we know the Sleep Number we like, and we know the Stearns Foster we like. Then I came home and looked at the quote that we got from before and we picked the same Stearns Foster. So that means we're consistent. And I think my mother and my daddy have a Stearns Foster, so maybe there's something to that. It's like the feeling of the Tempur-Pedic without being the heat of the Tempur-Pedic and the push, the firmness of the Tempur— anyway, we're not here to talk about mattresses. We're here to talk about new place, new grace. And yes, the adjustable base changes things, doesn't it? It also changes the price. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. Okay, the point is, y'all, you have to slow down, you have to ask for help, and then you also need to free yourself to try things out, move things around, give yourself grace. Okay, here are 3 things I want to say to you about this. You need to internalize that this is my now place. Meaning what you can afford to do right now, do that. Don't stress out because you can't do what you want to do one day. That right now, even if you don't like where you are, the apartment is 747 square feet and you're like, I'm really— I don't want to own this place. Like, I actually want to get to the new place. Okay, but this is where I am right now. One of the best decisions I ever made in the house I'm in right now was hanging pictures. Because two houses, Pat, before that, I never hung pictures. I was like, this is not our final place. And then I was like, girl, this is the place where you're at. Live in it, live in it, live well in the place that you're at, because everything you practice in the place that you're in is preparation for the place that you're going. And so we hung all the pictures up, which means that when I went into my new home, I knew how to put the pictures together. I knew which pictures went together. Okay. All right. Um, because your season, while it is going to change, sometimes we don't know when, and we don't need to wait to operate in joy and operate in grace until we get exactly where we gonna— we want to go. You are practicing now who you want to be. So go ahead and embrace the space you're in. It doesn't mean spend a million dollars. It doesn't even mean buy new things. I mean, y'all, we're, we're in a new house, and I drove an hour away yesterday to look at a loveseat for a little space, a little man cave area for my husband. Because why buy new if theirs is only a year old and they're gonna sell it to me for a third of a price? Listen, come on, somebody be wise. Be wise with your money. We've had both. Kelly Stanton Reed says, Tempur-Pedic was my favorite. You've had both, prefer Tempur-Pedic. Huh, interesting to know. Where you are right now is not where you will always be. Okay, it's not where you will always be. So internalize and take pride and joy in where you are now. And learn who you want to be for the place that you're going. Okay. Yes. Sharon Queta, I see your thing about homeschool. I got a whole thing that I'm working on to encourage you moms who have to do school differently with your kids this year. It's coming. It's coming. Okay. New boundaries, y'all. New goals. My husband just looked at my children last night because there are two doors on the back of the house that they keep choosing behind. And he told them last night, quit going out door number two. Y'all, y'all keep forgetting to lock it. He set a boundary. He said, quit. Door number 2 is not an option for y'all anymore because y'all keep not locking it. It's okay to set new boundaries, to set new paces, to decide that you need a little bit more time to get to work in the morning because you don't know where anything is. It's okay to tell your kids, no, we're not eating in this room. I know we ate in this room in the other house, but we're not eating in this room right now. It's okay in your skin, in who you are right now, to say to certain people in your life, yeah, I'm not having that conversation anymore because I'm in a new place mentally and spiritually, or I'm not going to be negative. No, I'm not watching the news. I'm getting my bite-sized chunks from my social media or Twitter, and that's all I want to know. Now I'm not engaging in those conversations because I'm moving to a new place. And in that new place, it requires new grace. And so I'm going to internalize my now place. Can't change the people I'm around, but I am— I can set new boundaries and say, this is it. These are the conversations I'm going to have, and I'm not going any further than this. It's okay. For you to understand that you are inhabiting new territory, and that means new decisions, new boundaries, and new, um, and new you. It's okay for you to change. It's okay for you to change because even in good homes that you prayed for and you've asked God for, even in new situations, good situations, you need to set new boundaries. Internalize that where you are now is not where you will always be. But be the best you can where you are. Set new boundaries and goals and give yourself grace in the setting of those new boundaries and goals. And then give yourself grace to have growing pains. Grace to have growing pains. New places will give you new pains, and that's okay. It's a part of the journey. My kids said last night when they cleaned up the kitchen— because this week we moved kitchens, y'all— And there's an aisle on one side of the island because we didn't have an island before, and there's an aisle on the other side of the island. And I heard one son say, ugh, there's just so much floor to sweep. I said, are you fixing your mouth to say any kind of anything that is any way negative about the house that we prayed for? I hope not. I hope you sweep the floor with joy. I hope you give praises to God as you put that dirt into that dustpan. I hope you recognize that what you are not happy about right now is the exact thing that we prayed and asked God to give you. Hey, hey, somebody say, the thing that you are complaining about, some of y'all prayed for. And you need to give yourself grace, but also be grateful in the growing. Be grateful in the growing pains. Because here's the thing, y'all, we will ask God for something new in a hot second, and then when he gives it to us, will complain about it. Somebody say, children of Israel. Y'all know this to be true. You know this to be true. And you have asked God for the new husband, but now you complain about him. You ask God for the new job, and now you complain about it. You ask God for the blessing in your business, but now you're complaining about the stress of managing people or managing new processes. You ask God to do a lot of things, and now you're complaining about it. You ask God for that new church, and now you have something to say about the pastor. By the way, watch what you say as you come against God's anointing. Appointed. Listen, I want you to know that the new place will have new growing pains, but in those growing pains, you can ask for help. Never in your life have you been where you are right now, and you need to learn how to give yourself new grace for new places. It's okay to go slow. It's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to move things around and to learn your space, to get situated. It's okay. And you need to internalize that where you are now is not where you're going to be forever, but where you are now Inhabit the land. Inhabit the land. Set new boundaries if it's what it requires and give yourself grace through the growing pains. But quit complaining. Quit, quit, um, not expecting that God can do new things in a new way. Quit being negative. Okay. I know that you did not plan to be home with your kids all day. I know that you did not plan to have to go to work and hope that your kids do what they're supposed to do while you're gone. I understand that this is a new season. It's a new place, but there is grace for the new place if you will look for it and embrace it and give yourself grace to move slowly as you learn the new terrain. It's okay to move slow. Y'all, there is a blog post. If you search for Chrystal Evans Hurst and "House is Not My Home," okay, if you search for Chrystal Evans Hurst and "House Is Not My Home." Okay, just search for it because that's actually not the title of the slug. I wrote something, okay, because in the house before this, my daughter painted something on the wall. In fact, I will read it to you. It says, "In this house, we do real, we do mistakes, we do I'm sorry, we do second chances, we do fun." I painted it on the wall. Because I was like, we're not going to stay here, but while we're here, I'm going to put something in the wall that defines us. Because we knew we weren't going to stay there. That house is not my home. And it gave me a freedom to paint the walls. Listen, no matter where you are, the house that you're in, physical, the physical house that you live in, neither one of those is your final home. Paint the walls, take joy in doing new things. And give yourself grace if you mess up to paint over it. It's okay. And if you Google Chrystal Hurst, and I'll make sure we put it in the email, if you're not on my email, let's join that, right? Go to chrystalevanshurst.com and join it. We'll put that in the thing. And then the other thing that I want to tell you about is if you're like, okay, yes, Chrystal, but what you're talking about, I really need more of this right here. This is what I need. There is a course by Jan Greenwood at the Sister Circle online, our online home for all things courses. Okay, there is a course by Jan Greenwood called Navigating Transition. And so if you go there and you just search for Jan Greenwood, you'll find a course called Navigating Transition. Jan is one of my all-time favorites. She will actually be one of our speakers next year for Desperate for Jesus. I call her personally when I need mentoring. And if you need to understand how to navigate transition, Go grab that course. Go grab that course. It will bless your socks off. All right, y'all, don't forget to grab the book at chrystalhurst.com/pray. I got to get to my kids because we're doing a slow roll with school, which means I told them to get up this morning and I'm going to dart back there and get them. And then I want you to know that you have the ability to give yourself grace. Take a deep breath, blow it out, and move slow. And now I gotta go back through all your comments and figure out what doggone bed I'm supposed to get. Her name is Jan Greenwood. Go to thesistercircle.com/courses. If you did not attend the online event or if you missed her course, go get it now. Y'all have a great day. And if anybody gets on your nerves today, this is what you say: I'm in a new place and I have new grace. You're not gonna get on my last nerve today. You don't have to add the last part. You could just say, "New grace, new place, new grace." Good morning. It's Monday, August 17th. You have never been, nor will you ever live this day again. So this is what I want you to know. You ready? Here it go. Make it a good day. Talk to y'all later. Bye.