In this candid family conversation hosted by Chrystal Hurst, several members of the Evans family—including pregnant Karris, her mother Cilla (Speaker D), and other relatives—share their personal childbirth stories, fears, and preferences. Karris expresses anxiety about the pushing stage and explains her decision to use a midwife and avoid epidurals, recounting a previous 26‑hour labor that ended with an epidural after 16 hours at home. The discussion moves to varied birth experiences: Cilla’s home births with epidurals, Speaker B’s 1970s C‑section due to pelvic size, and other family members’ natural births, shoulder dystocia, and large‑baby complications. Participants reflect on the role of medical intervention versus natural labor, the importance of support and autonomy, and how baby size and positioning influence choices. The conversation highlights the emotional weight of childbirth, the desire for a personalized, less‑intervened experience, and the family’s collective support throughout the process.
Chapters
So y'all, we're sitting here cackling, and one of the most frequently requested things that I'm asked to do when it comes to podcasts or video or whatever is to talk to my family. And y'all have seen me talk to my mom, y'all have seen me talk to my sister. Y'all haven't really seen me talk to Karris, because we've not done anything. No, because every time I ask her to do something, she's like, why? Why do you want me to do it? So we're all here together and we want to talk about a few things. So first of all, let's acknowledge the obvious.
You're pregnant.
Yes, I am.
Due in a matter of weeks. Baby number 2.
Second great-grandchild.
Yes, the great-grandchild, because we're still not— we're still forbidden from sharing the sex.
Yes.
Okay, I just want y'all to know that's her fault, not mine. She doesn't want anybody to know. That's okay. It's a surprise.
This is a surprise.
So what are you most afraid of with childbirth for number 2? Let's just start with that.
I am— I think I'm most afraid of the pushing the baby out part. Because I remember labor and how bad it hurt, and like, I know that it's gonna be miserable. Like, I remember how miserable it was, but I don't really remember pushing her out. So I'm scared of like—
You were half blacked out, probably.
Yeah, I remember I would like fall asleep in between contractions. I remember them saying like, is she on something? Like, because I kept falling asleep in between. Exhausted. Yeah, I was so tired, so I don't really remember what it felt like pushing her out.
Should we clarify for people that she's refusing to—
medical care.
She's refusing medical care.
I don't know why on earth, I don't know why on earth she would not go to a doctor.
Where did she get that idea?
Yeah, right.
No epidural.
Oh my gosh.
I don't know why she's not gonna go get an epidural. I don't know why she's not having this baby under a doctor's care.
Oh my gosh, yeah! Ta-da!
So you're using a midwife.
Yes.
What has influenced that decision?
Um, I just want to be able to give birth in more ways than like just laying on my back. I want to be able to labor differently. I don't want to be intervened with. I feel like women have been giving birth since forever and There shouldn't be a time limit on it. It shouldn't be, well, you've been in labor for this long, so now we need to give you a C-section, whatever. I just wanted to be able to do it without people fussing over me.
Okay, and you tried this the first time?
Yes, I did.
You tried this the first time, and how did that go?
I did it for 16 hours.
Yeah, that's a long time.
And then I said, give me an epidural. Get me to the hospital immediately. And then after 10 more hours of being in a hospital.
Were we there for 10 hours?
It was 10 hours after I got— yeah, yeah.
Because it was a total of 26 hours.
That didn't seem like that. It was a long time. So it was 16 hours of like the labor part, and then after the epidural was 10 hours. So yeah, what was the question?
Yeah, just, yeah, you tried this the first time.
Yeah, I tried it the first time, and yeah, it was hard. It hurt. It hurt.
And then she was like 9-something.
Yeah, she's 9 pounds, 4 ounces.
Whoa, okay, this baby's already at 8.
It's already at 8, probably more now. That, that was last week. Whoa, so you probably have a 10-pounder, maybe if I can make it to my due date.
We'll see.
So childbirth, what do you remember about it, Cilla?
It was amazing because you had an epidural.
But you had multiple— you had a C-section, you had Natural childbirth.
Yeah, the first one was, was hard, and probably because we intervened. I do agree with Charis that I think you should just let your, let your body go into labor on its own. You know, I was a little past my due date and we were anxious. It's our first baby. Yeah, so they were like, well, just put some gel and it'll get things going. But I think getting things going actually made the process harder, more difficult. Um, so I just think my body wasn't ready yet, so it forever to get to the place where Jackson could come out, and then he didn't want to because he wasn't in the right position. I think we just would have left my body alone, it would have been fine. And the reason why I think that, because on my second child, I let my body go into labor. I remember I wanted to stay at home as long as I possibly could.
Is that the one where we went out to eat and did all the things?
I was like, "Can we go back?" I was like, "Can we go back?" Because it doesn't hurt that bad. And Chrystal was like counting, she had her clock and she was counting up to 5 minutes and she She would say 458, 59, 5 minutes.
She would say that, I would just go, oh my goodness.
She's like, that's labor if they're consistent.
But it wasn't on steroids because of—
No, yeah, it was just— and so I waited until I could, got to the hospital just in time. I was like, okay, this is not funny anymore.
Jerry was driving like a bat out of Hades.
Yeah, Hades.
Everywhere.
Yeah, had to have the girl and then It was just born. Like, it was just—
you were all— you were even shocked. I remember the look on your face, like, did he just come out?
Yeah, and then pretty much the same with my third. Just let my body start when my body wanted to start for the most part, and then just—
but so—
but I had an epidural, so I remember— I remember being able to enjoy that my family was there, and like, we were talking and joking around and hanging out and stuff until it was time to push.
And so Yeah, we do babies together. It's a family.
It is kind of a family.
Yeah, we're all in the waiting room. Can I come in yet? And hanging out until everybody's got to get out. It's kind of a family situation.
I know they do.
I know.
Yeah, but anyway, all right, it's how we do it. Childbirth for you?
Childbirth for me was amazing because I had surgery with all four in the years ago in 1970. 1972, when you have one child C-section, those doctors—
what happened with me? Why was I a C-section?
Um, this is that my pelvic area just was not cooperating with the size of my baby. That was 8 something, I forgot now. You were 8'1" or something like that. But in those days, the doctors didn't then try natural. Yeah, for the second child. Yeah, you just were scheduled for surgery. But I must say, I had the experience of labor. 'Cause I labored you for 20-something hours.
Oh my gosh.
And they finally told me, "Ma'am, surgery." And I was like, "Okay, right, all right." I was ready, so anyway.
Yeah, I remember one of my midwives asked me how long you were in labor, and she said because it can be, like, it's kind of a lot. Yeah, she said if your mom was in labor long with her first ones, it might be the same. 'Cause we have friends who their babies just slip out, and I'm always wondering why is this not fair? Yeah, it's not fair.
Because your situation, we— was hard.
Yeah, with every baby it's been hard. Every baby it's been hard. I had one natural in a hospital, but natural. Then the second was natural and rough and C-section. The third was natural and rough.
All those started at home.
They all started at home. The last, the only one that where the baby came out and there was no drama was the last one.
There's drama with all of them.
So the question is, I know I'm not the moderator here, But the question everybody wants to know is why, if it was so hard— and I mean, it was hard on you— yeah, why would you, why would you do it again? Because that's just you. You had a very hard time the first time. Why would you say, I'm going to do it again at home as opposed to going to the hospital? And knowing there's an option to have a pain, not less, but yeah, why do you not choose that option?
So the first time with Charis, you know, 19, teenager, was in the hospital And I just, I don't know, I just said, I think I can do it without drugs. And I did do it. So when it came to baby number 2, I just remembered that in the hospital with baby number 1, really I didn't have any help. Like nobody was with me, nobody, you know, the doctor came in at the end, the nurse just came in every few minutes and checked on me. It was just me and that bed rail and my college roommate. So I just thought, oh—
We were there, excuse me.
No, you came at the end. Like you got there Friday morning.
Oh, okay.
But I had been at the hospital since 11 o'clock the night before. So my thought was, the majority of this time it's just been me, like working through it. I mean, my friend was there. So I just thought, I don't remember how I was introduced to it. I think I just met somebody who'd had a baby at home. And she said, yeah, I mean, if you're in your own environment and you're able to labor in a place where you're comfortable and have someone who's with you the whole time, like your midwife and her assistant, It could be the same experience but a little lovelier because it's just, you're not forced to do things the way someone dictates. So I thought, oh, baby number 1, I did it, so I'll do it with baby number 2. And baby number 2 is asymptotic, which is a fancy word for their head came down crooked and it was not, it wasn't the same. So then the 3rd time it became me being me, like I'm gonna try this again because I'm sure— She achieved it. Yeah, so then the 3rd time was rough because he got stuck stuck. It was a shoulder dystocia baby. And the fourth time, I was kind of like, maybe I should just— and I met a lady, she just said, no, you, you, if that's what you want to do, it'll, it'll be fine. Let me just tell you what to do so you don't grow as big of a baby. Oh, so then she's like, you can't have juice, like all these things. Because I was having 8, 9-pound babies, and the last one was 7. She said, just to make it easier on you. I said, okay. Yeah, so that's why. No, no, no bad positioning, no intervention, no people telling— it was just But I think people choose to do it the best way that works for them. Yeah, because I have women look at me and say, "There is no way that I would ever put myself through that," and my babies come out just fine. Yeah, so you've got to do what works for us.
