In this candid, faith‑centered conversation, host Chrystal Hurst interviews Liz Curtis Higgs, with co‑host Nicki Koziarz, about Liz’s turbulent teenage years and the spiritual journey that followed. Liz describes growing up in a large, outwardly respectable family that attended church without deep biblical engagement. At age 16 in 1970, she embraced the era’s “sex, drugs, and rock‑and‑roll” culture, experimenting with marijuana, speed, cocaine, and casual sex, while seeking love and acceptance. After a decade of such lifestyle, she fell into profound despair, contemplating suicide and obsessing over controlling the circumstances of her death. Liz recounts hitting rock‑bottom, where she felt God’s presence despite her shame, leading to a transformative realization that divine love is not despite sin but because of it. She uses the biblical prodigal son parable to illustrate the depth of her low point and the grace that meets a person at the bottom, emphasizing that rescuing someone too early can cause them to return to destructive patterns. The discussion concludes with a call to listeners—especially parents—to allow prodigals to reach their lowest point, then share redemption stories to inspire hope.
Chapters
Well, I told you that I did not know about this.
Oh, the whole Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll piece? Oh, for heaven's sakes!
Okay, so no. I just like to cut to the chase sometimes.
Well, I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful. Okay, so why don't you tell me while other people are watching and listening about the 10 years where you had the post office box.
In the far country.
In the far country.
Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting because I grew up in a nice family, you know, the one of six kids.
Telling jokes.
Good people, telling jokes, living, you know, nice little happy clean lives. National Honor Society, Girl Scouts, blah blah blah, all the stuff. But when I turned 16, it was like I got a license to drive and a license to sin. And as so often is the case, the youngest many times turns out to be the rebel of the family.
Not always.
No, no, not always. Not always.
Some go first. But sometimes it is the youngest. I think of the story of the prodigal son. It was the younger son who was the one who wanted to be a little deviant. And so I just, I went for it. And the thing is, I turned 16 in 1970. Let me spare you the math on that. I'm 63. So, you know, because people's minds are spinning. 16, 1970, how does that add up? And so, 1970, can I just say, was a wild year to turn 16. Because the lid came off in 1970. The wildness of the '60s finally reached all the small towns, like the one I lived in. And so suddenly, you know, drugs were available. Marijuana, pot, speed, coke. And we didn't even know it was like not a bad thing yet. AIDS hadn't shown up yet, so sex was just like, "Yay!" You know, we had Planned Parenthood, so you could get, you know, whatever you needed to not get pregnant, because only bad girls got pregnant.
Right. Not the rest of the stuff.
Right. The good girls—
As long as you didn't.
See, that was the problem. We thought as long as you weren't caught, you could get away with it. You were still technically a good girl. What craziness. What foolishness. And so I went out deep into that party land. I was doing rock and roll radio. I was You know, don't I look like I'm rock and roll distracted? Totally. Totally. Okay, I was younger, so it was a long time ago, but just trust me when I tell you, the thing I wanted, and I think every woman resonates with this, of every decade, I just wanted somebody to love me.
Okay, so, but you were in a great family.
I was.
So how does that connect it all together?
I know. It's also a big family. With a big family, you can sometimes slip out the door and people don't really notice. My parents were older, so by the time I was 17, you know, they were— They weren't running and chasing you. They were 60.
Yeah.
Right? And they were done. They were so done, you know, with being parents.
Was this— what you said, a good family— were you raised in a Christian home? Or just good—
Ah, that's the exact question. No, I was raised in a go to church so many times a year, give money, but we didn't talk about Jesus. We didn't open the Bible. I would have certainly called myself a Christian as opposed to a Muslim or a Jew, but I was not a practicing, loving, Bible-hugging woman. And so You know, there were so many options and I was just a girl who wanted to have fun. I went after every option there was. Why not? Was my theory. Well, the why not pretty well hits you right up, bang, after 10 years of that and you realize, I have no reason to live. I mean, I was just right at that edge where I was starting to look at ways to commit suicide that would not hurt. Because I'm, you know, I'm just basically one being, didn't want there to be— I didn't want it to look messy. —after I was gone.
I don't want to be here, but I have all these criteria before I leave. Yes, exactly.
I want it neat and tidy. I don't want a horrible look on my face. I don't want a mess in the room. Imagine, you know, trying to control image right to the very end.
You were just a National Honor Society girl, Brittany. Yeah. She's still worried about the whole thing.
I'm still worried about everything. Oh gosh. Will they take my pin away? So, this is, you know. Oh my gosh. It's true. So anyway, long story short, which is impossible with this story, God in his kindness waited until I hit bottom. I tell every audience I speak to, if we get into this kind of a story, if they have a prodigal in their life, you have to let them hit bottom. That's the hardest thing you can tell a mom. That's the hardest thing you can say is you've got to let them hit bottom. But I know if you try and yank them out, rescue them before they're done, they're just gonna crawl back in. They'll crawl right back in until they're done, until they're cooked.
And you know what's crazy? It's like we think, because I have a situation like that that's very close to me, I think I've seen them hit rock bottom so many times. I know. I'm like, there's nowhere else to go.
I know, but we always find another dark corner to crawl in. Yeah, well, and your prodigal son story in the Bible is the perfect example because first he took the money and he went to the far country. He lost all the money, and then there was no food, and then he's working for a man feeding the pigs. Imagine Jesus telling the story to the Pharisees and the sinners. Quotes, even in the NIV it says quotes, about a man in a pigpen. A Jewish audience, you couldn't say anything worse. Pigs were unclean. So that was his bottom, when he finally, finally hit bottom. But we don't know what somebody else's "nader" is. We don't know. But they do, and the happy news about hitting bottom is you're already halfway out. —hit the bottom. You're halfway out. And God is there. That's what I didn't get. I thought I was running from God, as if I could run from God, as if I could ever go that fast or that hard. It just isn't how it is. He is already there. He is in our tomorrow. He is wherever we're gonna run. He's already in it. The hardest thing for me, Chrystal Hurst, was realizing that in those dark, dark, oh my word, I would never tell you guys the stuff I did. It was so shame-filled. It was so horrible, horrible. And God was there. He was with me in it. And the day I realized that, I was undone. I'm like, well then, I don't understand your love, Lord. Because even people I love now, I wouldn't tell these things to. —for fear that they would go, "Mmm, ew." And God said, "I was there, Liz, and you thought you were out of my reach, but you're still here to tell your story." So this is the goodness and kindness of God. He's beyond beyond. Beyond beyond anything we understand. And so I'm grateful. The scripture says, "Let the redeemed of the Lord say so." That's our job, is to tell the story. You tell the story. A little bit. Yeah, you do.
It's kind of what you said, there are parts that are helpful, and then there are parts that there's really no point.
No, there's no redemption to it, I get it, and those don't need to be told. But Jesus knows. And I think it's realizing he knows it all. Mm-hmm. And still loves you. And still loves you. And I want you to get your head around this. This is The Lizzie theology speaking here. He doesn't love you in spite of your sins. He loves you because of your sins. That's why he died for you.
