Paying Attention to Your Emotions - Coffee with Chrystal #alittleQC

So it is 6:55. I'm going to do my best not to be too late now to my morning meeting. I've got a meeting with myself and 9 other girls, 8 of which are interns, and we are all working really hard. Kingston, Jamaica, I see you. Brooklyn, New York. To bring content to you that is helpful for this season. Um, got some free resources up on the site. We've been working hard every day from all the conversations that I've been having online to serve you. So if this is your first morning joining me, Ah, hey, Boston, Massachusetts, Jackson, Mississippi. If this is your first morning joining me, my name is Chrystal Hurst. ChrystalEvansHurst.com is where you can find me. And I'm only going to be on for 4 more minutes. The reality is that I want to serve you well. And I've been doing that every day by having conversations myself and friends to say, hey, here's what's going on in our lives. Here's what's challenging us. Here's where we're struggling. Here's what we're learning. And so I want you to know that that has been very intentional. And I've had friends join me early. Early in the morning, um, to have those conversations with you. So what I'm going to be doing going forward, uh, what I'm going to be doing going forward is going live on Mondays, and then I will be releasing the week's podcast on Tuesdays. Normally I release them on Monday, but you know, if I release it all on the same day, y'all can't— you can't do it. So, um, the podcast will go up later today. So here's what I need you to know, super important. Number 1, make sure you're on my email list because today when we send out the email, not only will it have some encouragement— encouraging content for you, this week's podcast, but it will also have, uh, the link to the updated resources page. And we are updating that thing multiple times a week. So when you get the email, be sure and go back and check, because that usually means there's been something that we've added. What are the resources? Well, if you haven't gotten it yet, everything from recipes to links to workouts to music to books to read to tips to courses to take— I mean, whatever we've talked about every day is on that list. It has become this big page with now, I think, like 14 or 15 different sections from each of my interviews and the content that they wanted to share. So I'm not going to be going live all this week, but I wanted you to know where you can catch me because I want you to catch me. Okay, I want you to catch me. Hopefully you all can still see me on— give me a thumbs up on Facebook, YouTube, Periscope if you can still see me in here. Hear me. I just want to make sure you're good. Okay, so here's the deal. This is my book. Many of you already know it. You have it. I know it. If you don't, pick it up. Here's why. You can get it on Kindle. Here's why. Because we've been talking a lot about— and I was thinking about this last night— we've been talking a lot about, um, I see you, the website won't send you emails, Kelly. I saw your message yesterday. We will take care of it. Okay, um, because we've been talking a lot about paying attention to your emotions. Okay, to your emotions. And so I wanted to talk to you about this thing. There's this chapter, and I've said this same thing many times in our conversations, okay? Emotions should guide you, not govern you. Okay, that came from here. And the reason why I want to say that is because what we've been talking about— feeling isolated, we've been talking about your relationship with your family, we've been talking about depression, we've been talking about reaching your goals, we've been talking about leading others well, we've been talking about being with your kids. We've been talking about Jesus and grief and loss. And we've been talking about a lot of the emotional ramifications of where we are right now. There's been a lot of that, okay? Now, the thing is, is what I've discovered is that a lot of people actually don't know how to do the digging. They don't know how to do what was talked about in this chapter. Okay, I'll show you. That is, coaching your heart. You don't know how to do that. You don't know how to ask yourself the questions to say, why am I feeling this way? What's going on? When did I start feeling this way? How do I stop feeling this way? What do I need to pay attention to? What do I need to change? Basically, that's what you go to a counselor for. You go to a counselor for— because you don't know how to get out of your head and your heart what's going on, to get it out of your system so that you can objectively look at it and manage it, deal with it. That's what a counselor does. That's what a counselor does. So what I wanted to do is just to walk you through the way to do that, because I know that some of y'all have counselors and your counselors are great and they're online with you now. Some of you do not have counselors or you can't afford counselors. Maybe you have great friends and so your friends answer those questions for you. I do. In fact, y'all, on Monday I have a great friend I'm going to talk to you, bring to you. But anyway, and we ask each other great questions. But if you have to do this on your own, if you have to do it on your own. I just wanted to give you a couple of tools, and I'm just going to be on for a couple more minutes to help you do the coaching that your heart needs, okay? I want to help you do the coaching your heart needs. When you were in school, you got these 5 questions asked of you: who, what, when, why, and where. Who, what, when, where, and why, and how, okay? Those were the things when you were writing a paper. It's not a good paper if you haven't answered those questions. Who, who, who happened— who did this happen to, or who did this to you? What happened? When did it happen? Why did it happen? Where did it happen? And how did we get here? Okay, those simple questions. Okay, who, what, when, where, why— the 5 W's— and how. Can you tell I'm a homeschool teacher and I've taught my kids this a million times? Listen, if you can simply ask yourself those questions and say, who entered my life? And when did I start feeling this way? And where was I when my emotions started to go awry? And why? What was the catalyst for this beginning? How? How did I get here? What were the fireworks that went off gradually that ended my heart in an explosion? Okay, they said, what book is this? She's Still There. This is a book I wrote. It's, um, 3 years old now. Um, so this book here, but this section is, is, is practical. And simple, it's simple. If you can ask yourself these questions and say, who entered my space when things in my heart started to change? Who said something to me when something went off in my head? At what point was I at in my day when I started feeling tilted? Where was I? Was I in the room? Was I in the kitchen? At what point do I remember feeling that I was anxious or worried or concerned or upset? Okay. How did I get here? I'm blowing up at my husband right now, but how did I get here? What were the micro explosions that happened throughout the day that totally screwed my brain or jacked my emotions? Okay. Simple questions. If you do not have a counselor, oh my gosh, get a piece of notebook paper, get a piece of blank paper out of your printer, take your actual notebook if you have one, a spiral notebook. And just answer those questions. I love this scripture from Valerie Rose. May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. 2 Thessalonians 3:5. Here's what you need to know if you love Jesus. Here's what you need to know if you love Jesus, okay? The Holy Spirit, the Bible says, he will guide you into all truth, and that means even the truth about you, the stuff you cannot even figure out. But you do have to set aside the time, and you do have to put in the effort to allow the Holy Spirit space to tell you about you. You know, that's what counseling does. It's a counselor who asks you questions. They help you to discover what's really inside. They may give you a couple of good points. And I'm not belittling counseling. I'm saying it's great. And I'm saying many people are benefiting from that. And do it if you can. I mean, I've got a friend right now, ShandriaRiddick.com, that if you need counseling, check her out. However, what I'm telling you is if you can't do that, you can't go anywhere, you don't have the money, you can ask yourself, basic questions and get somewhere. New Jersey, I see you. Okay, so I want you to know that you can ask yourself basic questions and get somewhere. Okay, so what I want you to know this too, and then I'll sign off because I got to get on with my team. Swim against the current. Your emotions, how your heart feels, is you swimming against the current. Okay, we admire salmon because they have this journey where they swim upstream and then they lay their eggs and they have their babies and they come back downstream. We Isn't this awesome? It's awesome that they do this thing, right? They swim against the current and they're able to do something that a lot of people, well, a lot of people, a lot of fish don't do. And they're one of the most expensive cuts of fish that we can buy. I want you to know that when you coach your own heart, that's what this chapter's about in here, y'all, okay? 'Cause you can do this and a lot of us have the time to do this. You are swimming against the current. It's not supposed to feel right. It's not supposed to feel normal. It's not supposed to feel like everybody else is doing it. It's not supposed to feel like it's the most comfortable thing to do. It's supposed to feel unnatural. But if you're trying to make a deposit that will bear fruit for generations to come in your life and in your circle of influence, that's what you have to do. Coaching your heart, taking, uh, the stock of what's important, what matters, what's happening in your life, doing that, doing that will set you apart from every other fish in the sea. You wanna be different? Then be different than a lot of people who live according to their emotions, who only do what they feel, who only call out what's true if they feel that it's true. Call out what's true because God says it's true. Rehearse what's true in your heart and in your mind about you. Ask the questions, but then choose to look at God's Word. And that's a whole nother chapter and a whole nother thing for another day. Choose to look at God's Word and say, what does he say about me? How do you get on my email list? Just go to chrystalevanshurst.com so that you can get the resources, because there are a whole bunch of resources. That's where I started the call if you just jumped on. Okay, so anyway, that's what I want you to tell— that's what I want to tell you. Gotta jump on with my team, y'all, so we can talk about all the things. But I want you to know that I will be back here on Monday. Be on my email list so that you can get the resources and the podcast— great podcast with Sarah Haggerty that we're releasing today— and Get a piece of notebook paper or a piece of blank printer paper and ask yourself the question, how am I feeling? And stop and listen, listen, pay attention to you. What are you thinking? How are you feeling? And if you don't even know how to do that, the 5 who, what, when, where, why questions, the 5 W's, and the how. Ask yourself those questions. Start there. That may not give you 2 pages of journaling, but you don't need 2 pages of journaling. Honestly, your heart just needs to know. Your mind just needs to know. Your hands just need to know. Your body, your heart, soul, body, and mind need to know that you're paying attention to you. You might be surprised if you pay attention to you. Just sit down and say, what's going on inside of me? So what's going on? If you don't want to write, don't write. Go for a walk and talk to yourself. Just talk. Say, girl, how are you doing? Mm, I'm getting a little bored. That's right. Talk to yourself. Another part of this book, it says, talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Okay. If you have it, pick it up and read it again. If you don't have it, have Amazon send it to you or grab it on Kindle. It's a workbook, y'all. It's a workbook, but a lot of us have the time to do the work right now. And every chapter has a whole section in it that says Reflections for the Rescue. So I gave you 5+ easy questions. You need more questions? Pull this out. It doesn't matter what you pull out. Get somebody else's book, but something that makes you think about you. Something that makes you think about you. 'Cause the travesty, I'm gonna say this and then I'm gonna get off 'cause it's 7:07. That's my birthday, y'all, 7-7. So that's the Lord telling me to shut it down. Sorry, y'all, Instagram went off. My bad, my phone died. That's what happened. This is what happens when you do things on the fly. Here's what the travesty will be. The travesty will be if you get to the end of this situation and you realize that you wasted your time. Don't get to the end of this and realize that whatever the lesson was you were supposed to learn, you didn't learn it. Don't get to the end of this and realize that whatever you were supposed to do and un— un— uncover, uh, a hatch, whatever dream you were supposed to pour into, whatever thing you needed to do, whatever thing you needed to clean up. Whatever you were supposed to do, however you were supposed to grow, don't get to the end of this QC time, QT time, quarantine time, with quarantine content coming at you from everywhere and not have done the work. Jesus came to be born and he died and he saved the whole world and he did it all by age 33. That's a lot to accomplish, you know that? That's a lot to accomplish. But when you are intentional about using your time, you don't need a lot of time. So quit wasting time and be intentional. All right, y'all, I'm gonna try my best to not get on live, but that's all I got this morning. Aren't you proud of me? All right, I'm logging off. Share this video if it was helpful. Make sure you're on the email list. Get the resources. Great podcast and resources coming your way today. Bye!