Priscilla Shirer on Living Well

Hey there, I have a treat for you as you get settled in to watch this video. If you don't already know, I have a sister. Her name is Priscilla Shire, and she's going to join me on an interview today. Now, here's what's unique about this interview. I actually have a podcast. Now, I know you know me here from YouTube, but I have been YouTubing for 2 years. I've been podcasting for 8 years, and over 8 years on my podcast, which was called Chrystal Hurst Chronicles. I did some solo episodes and some interviews, in fact a lot more interviews over time, and I'm relaunching that podcast. It's now going to be called the Sister Circle Podcast because I have so many conversations with friends or sisters in my circle. So how could I possibly launch the Sister Circle Podcast, a conversation with my actual sister Priscilla Shire, a conversation that is designed for audio, but we did it on video because we're sisters and we should look at each other and not share that video here. I wanted to make sure you know about, even though you're watching on YouTube or Facebook, the fact that there is a podcast and there are conversations that are happening on the podcast that are phenomenal, exciting, and it's all brand new. So enjoy this video. And then if you'd like to hear all of the podcasts that I release so you can have me in your ears, even if you don't see me with your eyes, then be sure to go to your favorite podcast player. You can use Apple Podcasts. You can use Spotify, Google Podcasts, or Stitcher, or any of the other ones probably too. So just know that I'm here for you, often video, regularly podcasting too. And I hope you enjoy this combination of both. So here's to all things Having Coffee with Chrystal Hurst, and every now and then having a sister on the show as well. So here's the video version of our first interview for our very new, brand new relaunched The Sister Circle Podcast. Enjoy. All right, y'all. She lives around the corner and I talk to her pretty much every day, but it's not every day that I get a chance to host my sister on the podcast. So Welcome, Scylla. Thank you. So the thing is, Scylla, by the way, I have to realize when I say it that that gives other people permission to say it. But what the funny thing is, is everybody's trying to figure out how to spell it. And your aunt actually called me one day, Auntie called and said, now why is it that her name is spelled P-R-I-S-C-I-L-L-A? But when you write Scylla, you just skip the C, you just put S-I-L-L-A. And I was like, I don't—

I can't believe she called you about that.

She sure did. And then I was like, am I doing it wrong? Is it supposed to be C-I-L-L-A?

I have never written it with a C. That's so interesting. I don't know why. Anytime I've written it, it's just S-I-L-L-A.

I had to verify. I literally went and looked at a card and said, how does she sign it when she signs? I was like, am I doing it wrong? Anyway, so, uh, yes, Scylla is the nickname. Priscilla is her name. Please pronounce your last name for the people because we got Shivers and Shire, Shire, Shireers.

And baby, I have been called everything. Do you hear me? It is Shire.

Okay. What else have you been called besides Shiver?

Um, that's the main one. I get Mrs. Shivers all the time. I get Shearer. I get Shire, like, rrr. I tried to tell Jerry when we got married that Evans would just be easier. Oh, he didn't go for that.

No, he did not go for that at all. I was, okay, I was in California. I was in the lobby of a hotel and the guy who checked in before me, his last name was Shire. It took everything in me not to tap him on the shoulder and say, Oh my gosh, you have the same last name as my sister. But he was like white. And I was like, there's no relation. And I was like, he would, that would just be weird and abnormal. So I just—

But it's just such an odd name. It really is.

It's such an odd name. And I was just standing there like, oh my God. And then I was like, girl, leave him alone. Leave that man alone.

I can't believe that. I wonder if it was spelled the same now, now that you're saying that. I've never met anybody with the last name.

That's what I wanted to have a whole conversation with him about. And then I was like, leave it alone. It's not even your last name. Just leave it alone. Leave it alone. Oh my goodness. Okay. So right now we are recording this. Normally, like when I do interviews, I'm doing them 2 or 3 months in advance, but you and I are actually recording a week before this podcast is going to be shared online. You are my first official interview of my podcast for 2022, but you are also my guest interview, and you're also my first official guest interview for the rebranding of the podcast. So it's been called Chrystal's Chronicles for almost 8 years.

Yes.

And I'm changing the name to the Sister Circle Podcast with Chrystal. So I'm really excited to have my sister.

Yeah, you should be.

Be the first guest sister on the Sister Circle Podcast.

And may I also say, you are to be commended for having done something so consistently, faithfully for that long. I mean, think about it, a podcast lasting 7, 8 years like that.

Thank you.

That's a big deal. And I have watched how intentional you've been trying to get the guests you want and have the kinds of conversations you want. So you're doing a good job, Chrissy.

Thank you. Thank you. Can I just say that when people are trying to figure out your situation— and by your situation, I mean everything from your hair to your ministry to your marriage, to your children. I say that anything that you see in her life is because she's been showing up and doing these things consistently. Like you didn't just ministry-wise drop on the mat one day. You've been faithfully, you know, I was listening to you and Jerry talk about some of the early, like over the holidays we were talking about some of the early speaking engagements that you had and the hotels you stayed in and, you know, the backside, the roads, not knowing where you're going. I mean, just, Yeah, you— there's that. There is— you got these big strong boys and you are speaking words of encouragement over them. Everybody wants to know about your prayer, the thing you say over to your children every day. But you didn't just magically like sit down one day and like think about that and write that like a year ago. You've been saying these words to them like their whole life. You know, it's just— it's this idea of things being baked a long time to be— to be good. And then our faithfulness, how that makes a difference. And so speaking of faithfulness, I want to ask you about, let me see, where do I want to start? Because I have a whole list of things I wanted to talk about. Let's talk about home. I know right now in the coming off the holidays, you are still in your season of your no anointing. Like you have a no anointing over your life, but you get an extra dose of that during the holidays. Like you literally, you literally count down and sometime in November you will celebrate. Girl, that's it. That's the last thing I had to do before I shut it down. Like, just like this whole— so you enjoy the holidays. You're very intentional about creating memories during the holidays, doing nothing during the holidays for yourself with your family. But all throughout the year, not just the holidays with your family, you are intentional about sitting down at the table, trying to have dinner. I would love for you to talk about what it required, what faithfulness looks like right now with the ages of your kids. Um, because we know as the kids get older, trying to have faithful things at home is hard. Yes. What does it look like for you right now to be faithful to the things that you've been trying to be faithful to, um, family-wise since you got— since you got married? I, I'll say this and then I'll let you talk. I remember when you first got married and y'all were in that apartment and you were just whole hog home. I remember you had these books about home and the sights and the sounds and the smells of home, and you would set these table settings. And I'm just like, it's just y'all two. It's like, but you would, you would, you would— I mean, Jerry would get home from work and you would have the china out. You would make that corn salad in that glass bowl. There would be mums on the front porch.

I can't believe you remember that.

Oh yes, you had the, the welcome rug. I mean, you went whole hog. So I remember your intentionality then, and I know it has changed. The faithfulness to build home family memories has changed. Over the years. So what does it look like now, and how have you been able to maintain faithfulness when sometimes your family doesn't celebrate efforts, you know, that you make to do all the things that you do? That part right there, I said it nice.

Um, yes, you said it nicely. So it's, it's actually very interesting that you're asking that question because honestly, what faithfulness has looked like in the last couple of years has been a recalibration of what the priorities need to be, which, which requires a lot of release and a lot of letting go and a lot of not lowering expectations, but just recalibrating them to the reality of what is. That has been very hard for me to just relax, let it be what it is, the dynamic that your family is, their personalities, their likes and dislikes. Meaning I'll give you an example. My sons are not particularly social people. My youngest son is more than the other two, but they're really wired like their dad. So they could never be hospitable, meaning never have a bunch of people over and be fine. And I'm— Yeah. And I'm like, no, actually, I want to cultivate in you guys an appreciation for having a home where other people feel welcome and you learn how to do the work that is involved when you have people over. So that's something that I'm continuing to do, but I've had to readjust and not overdo that because that's not their personality. So they don't have to be wired like me, but there are certain things I've had to recalibrate how much of this thing or how often for this thing based on the reality of who my family is and, you know, and the home life that we have. So to answer your question, the biggest adjustment for me has been relaxing into the reality of what is. And then determining— I kind of got this word of knowledge from two older women in my life, Trina Jenkins and Rachel Ridge. These two women do not know each other, but I am very close friends with each of them. They both have grown children who are now married and living on their own. And both of them, independently of each other, gave me the same suggestion. They said, in this season of life, when you've got 19-year-olds, 17-year-olds, 13-year-olds, everybody's kind of got their own life going. Pick the 2 or 3 things that are going to be your things. Ask your spouse to support you in those 2 or 3 things. Not everything, but just these 2 or 3. And then do those consistently. Let everything else go. And I mean, that in and of itself has been a hard task. The letting go is hard. The trusting God, like all the stuff that you see that to you is not going— is going undone, or you feel like it's not a priority enough for your family. But releasing that to the Lord and saying, okay, Lord, I trust you with the rest of that. I'm going to just pick these 2 or 3 things. One of those is several times a week having dinner like that. We all sit at the table together. Again, I have boys, so half the time they don't want to talk, you know, and I've had to get conversation starters so that, you know, we have a way to start conversation and hopefully engage the boys a little bit in conversation. So I've picked 2 or 3 things. I've asked Jerry to support me in those 2 or 3 things. And we do those 2 or 3 and everything else I try to let go and just enjoy my family.

I know that. I think the, the, the work of motherhood, uh, and marriage is these are human beings that you cannot control, that you have had expectations for family life, marriage, or motherhood. And they didn't get that memo, you know.

Yeah.

And it is the work of letting go. I mean, you understand, of course, because your oldest is off to college, the work of letting go, like letting them be their own person and letting them be adults. But going from that parental, as they get older in teenage years, into that counselor and that guide and realizing that you really don't have any control. I mean, control was an illusion to begin with. It's just that we get that memo late, you know, and then have to learn to release things. Are the conversation cards you use the same ones that I have, the ones that are in that square glass jar, or you have a different set? Because I know inquiring minds are going to be like, what? Where does she get inquiring— where does she get conversation cards from?

I know, I wish I had them right here so I could show you, but one of them is a jar you gave me, I think, from Family Life.

Yeah, I think it's DaySpring.

I have DaySpring, so I have that. And then also, yeah, the other ones I got are just off Amazon. And yeah, they come in a little glass square container. I think I sent that Chrystal Hurst for Christmas one year or something like that. But they have family, they have friends one, they have adult kids one, you know. So it's just a great thing to have your kid pull out a card, ask that question, everybody give an answer, and it kind of stirs conversation. And again, if you got a table full of girls, you might not need a conversation starter.

But right for me, send me the link to the ones on Amazon because I know that people will want to know and I'll make sure I put that. Yeah, put that in the show notes.

Been using them for years.

Yeah, I think, I think we have, you know, it's, you know, I know there's this thing about talking about The Cosby Show, but it is what it is. It influenced like a decade of our lives. So you look at The Cosby Show or, you know, Growing Pains or, you know, these different shows that we grew up on and you see these family dynamics and you don't see them with the messiness, you know, you don't see them with the—

right—

with the struggles. And I think, you know, I'm happy if I can just get the boys to sit down You know, just sit down. Like, conversation is great, but that's an extra. Like, just sit here at the same time. Yes. Without the TV on. I've learned, you know, just with the girls being older, that it's the things that we don't think that are making memories often that are the things that stick. Like, I'm thinking family dinner and conversation and let's work on a puzzle together and let's do devotions together. And what they actually remember as togetherness are doing the dishes. I would say, y'all can choose whatever music you want to, but y'all are both in the kitchen. When the girls were teenagers, y'all are both in the kitchen until it's done. And them being now 30 and 26 mean that I have that perspective of, boys, you're thinking this is horrible. What I know is that when you get older, this will be, or has a high potential to be, a memory that sticks. Choose whatever music you want. Somebody's on dishes, somebody's on wiping countertops, and somebody's doing floors. Somebody's drying and putting away the dishes and y'all are all in here until we're done. And that perspective that you try to make the memories and then you just plant opportunities for togetherness, you know, and they're going to remember what they're going to remember. You just have to give them the opportunity. And so I just want to applaud you because listen, having done the girls, boys are harder. They're harder to do that with because they really—

Really?

Oh, oh yeah.

Because they don't want together.

Oh, it's not interesting together. It's totally different. It's totally different. And even the movies that we watch, it's like the girls, I enjoyed that. With the boys, I'm just like, you know, sitting on the edge of my chair, like my knuckles are white because everything is bang 'em up, shoot 'em up fast. So it's different. So I want to applaud you. The boy, the boy life is different for sure. When you think about, apart from letting go, anything that this season of motherhood is teaching you? Is there any other lesson? Because listen, girl, you're the older lady. I mean, you know, you're the older woman. I guess we are. Oh my God. So in this season of your life, what wisdom do you have to share with mothers who are mothering in various seasons that you've experienced?

Um, one of the main things I would say is to make sure you are keeping a record of your kid's life. I, you know, now Jackson is 19. I started keeping a journal for each of the boys when they— when Jackson was 5. It kind of— some older lady mentioned it when my oldest was 5. At the time, my second was 3, and we didn't even have Jude yet. So Jude starts from his— the day of his birth. But I have these books, and now I'm so grateful that I have them. I probably wrote in them 4 or 5 times a year. Like, it's not like it's a daily thing. Yeah, it's just especially on their birthday, I would make sure to write them something. But if they said something funny, did something hilarious, something that I can see the fingerprint of God on, a question they asked that led to a conversation, or a hard thing that happened, I just have kept a record of that in their little book. And now that I'm looking back, you know, in my mind at the time when I started, I thought, when they're 18, I'll give it to them. Girl, I'm not giving this 18-year-old boy has gone through. They're not thinking about their mother's words in their life at 18. So I'm probably gonna wait until they have a wife, and then I'm going to probably give it to her and let her just read her mother-in-law's, um, you know, sort of talking her through her husband's life and the things that happened in their life. But all I know is reading it back myself is It's many things, but one is just a reminder of the faithfulness of God, like that thing that happened when they're 6 actually wasn't devastating. It didn't derail their whole life. The testing we had to put them through at 10 to see if the learning disability or to see if the, you know, the physical issue was going to be something that stunted them forever, and it kept you up at night and all that. You look back and go, God is faithful, and he will carry you through, and your kids are going to be fine. So I would encourage every mom and dad to do that. Find a way, even if it's just, you know, like a Microsoft Word document, it doesn't matter, where you write a little paragraph and save it that just will remind you and will show your kids later the evidence of God's faithfulness in their lives.

That's so good. I'm sitting here feeling horrible because I started and stopped. I'm million times. I didn't really do it. I heard that from you. And then I was like, I'd write it. So what I did is I finally took the composition books, which is where I was putting mine. And I just, the pages that I had started for the year, I just tore them out and I put them, I have a file cabinet for each of the kids. And so, um, like they just a plastic box from Office Max or whatever and hanging file folders for every year of their life. And so if you—

Oh my gosh, you're so organized.

Well, no, but because no, to me, you're organized. The discipline of remembering to write things down. I just was like, whatever I have that keeps a memory, I just, if it's the little, like the, when they would go to camp and the little character quality things that they would get, I just throw it in there. Like it was just because I just wanted to, it's like, but it's in a file folder and one day, you know, I'll maybe scrapbook it. I mean, I think that's why, you know, regardless of how you remember, I mean, you know, you've seen that commercial where with the Google commercial, where the person is writing a letter, an email to the kid, you know, and then they can open up these emails. I do think there's something special. There's something easy about digital. And then there's something special though, about handwritten documentation of who you are and who you've been. And so if you have not started that in any way, shape, or form, any gift that you can give your children, if you don't have children, any gift that you can give someone you love of just writing down your thoughts, about them. Keeping letters. I've had people mail me letters that I wrote them like I was a teenager, and then they mailed me back this letter because in that letter I was telling them about my life, and they sent it back to me 20 years later. Hey, I found this. I thought you'd think it was— so look for ways to keep memories of the people that you love. Priscilla's really clean and minimalistic. I tend to be more of a packrat, so don't, don't do that. But just remember that memories, they really do matter, and that the things you write down and the things you keep for those you love will be meaningful to them later on.

Excuse me. Yeah, for the record, you just said I'm clean. My older sister has never called me clean in my entire life.

Tell them why. Tell them why I've never said that.

I've always been a clean person.

Girl, you better stop telling the lies and shaming the shaming Jesus Christ and honoring Satan himself. Girl, y'all, I'm not going to tell all of her business. You just need to know that I don't recall whatever you about to say.

I don't recall it.

You just need to know that Priscilla cared about other things, things other than making her bed, keeping the laundry done, putting things up in the bathroom. And I was very, very particular. I'm still particular. I'm just I just have a lot of things and I live with piles. She is a— she just likes things to go away. She doesn't want to— she's not attached to things, and I am. So I tend to keep things that are meaningful. But when we talk about—

I—

we just had different— when we shared a room, we shared a room until we were 18, 8— we— until I left for college, we shared a room. And it was traumatic. I'm sure it was traumatic for you as well, because I was very picky, particular about a lot of different things. So, um, I also recall that you took things from me and then you said you didn't take them. So you would take my thing.

I don't remember that.

Yeah, I'm sure you don't. But I had a brooch that came back broken. I'm still traumatized. You can sip your tea if you want to and pretend that didn't happen, but whatever. I know. So let this be a word of encouragement to you all who are parenting girls. Who look like they're not going to make it. They will make it. They will talk to each other one day. Okay. Let's talk about motherhood in a different way. Okay. Our mother has now been gone for 2 years, which sounds dumb and ridiculous and unreal. It seems very, um, it seems unreal partially because so many of the things that she gifted to us, whether it's our relationship, tradition, her voice in our head. We still have, like, we— yes, I see her everywhere. And then she gave us the gift of showing us how to walk in her shoes. So the things that she created still exist because we, we know how to do them. But, um, so she's gone, but I feel her with me, you know, all the time. But grief, I know, is a journey that everybody has to learn to walk on their own, and you can't rush the journey, and it takes different shapes and forms over time. I remember that after Mommy died and you had, not even 3 weeks later, a surgery to remove one of the lobes of your lung because of a mass that had been found. So within a month, not even a month, you go from holding Mommy, 'cause you were holding her, she died in your arms. We were all gathered around, but you were holding her a day for, from that day to a week later, us burying our mother to— was it a week or two after that?

A week after that.

A week after that, you're in the hospital. And as many people know, when you walk through a traumatic situation like that, um, you don't necessarily feel all the things in the moment. We, we have to bury our mother. We have to put together the service. We have to I mean, that's not unique to us. It's anybody who has to go through those things. But I remember in the recovery room after your surgery, you could not stop crying. And you said that we just kept having to bring you tissue and you didn't want to cry because it hurt. Like, you know, you wanted to heave cry, like, and it just kept erupting. And I remember looking at you and thinking, that's the grief coming up. Not that you weren't in pain too, But it was so, I mean, it was like Niagara Falls. It was just never-ending and large. And you said, "I don't know why I keep crying." And I remember looking at you and thinking, "You're on drugs." You're in pain.

Real high.

Yeah, you're in pain and there's no inhibition for the emotion to come and it's being pushed forward, you know, by pain. So I saw that heaving and crying. I've seen you, I've seen little moments of grief, you know, in church when we've done certain things and the tears kind of well up. But in terms of the last 2 years, how have you seen grief come to the surface? What has triggered your grief? What has grief looked like? I think one of the things that we don't realize, I did not realize, I didn't realize for me, and I didn't realize even as I watch you all, meaning you and Anthony and Jonathan, is the unique ways that grief comes up because it doesn't always come up in, "I cried in the shower." So I'm just curious if you've recognized it coming up in your life any other way and what has triggered that.

Well, that's a very interesting question. I don't know that I have thought through that in that way, but I will say that one of the ways which actually I can recall now Mom describing this when Grandpa died, It's just a general lethargy, a general inability to be motivated to keep doing whatever the next thing is in front of you. It's not that you don't do it, you do, but that same sort of drive and momentum that you were once doing that thing, I can feel that that has waned quite a bit, dulled quite a bit. And I don't— that doesn't scare me. I'm okay with that. I feel like there are seasons of life, and this is one where I do feel a little lack of momentum. So I'm just gonna just sit in it, and instead of trying to rush through it, which means you miss some of the gems that are there for you to discover, that the Lord's put there for you to discover. So instead of rushing through it, I'm just like, okay, Lord, you have me here right now, which means I'm not writing very intentionally, not writing book or a Bible study right now. The last one nearly killed me. That's the way it felt. It nearly killed me creatively. Every word was like, you know, trying so hard. It was in the midst of Mom being sick, and I pushed the deadline back a couple of times. And when I finished that project, I remember thinking, I'm not doing this again for a while, because the weight of projects like that have a weight to them that I don't think I have the capacity to carry right now and do the other parts of my life well, which are more important right now. My sons are all graduating from high school, one after the other, headed into college. I want to be fully present and I want to absorb all of the good stuff that comes in these years. So I know that right now, given the dullness that I feel because of everything that we've been through, I would not be able to carry that well and enjoy that. And also do some big ministry projects, like writing for me is always big. It's always a discipline to write like that. So that's the way, honestly, I have seen it most— grief most manifest in my life has been just feeling a little bit dull and trying to relax and give myself grace and not hurry through that. And I remember Mommy describing that when Grandpa died. I remember her— just feeling like it's going to take me a minute to get to the place where I've got some momentum clicking on all cylinders again. So I would say that's the main thing.

I think that's so interesting because one, because I joked about it at the beginning, I mean, your anointing of no is strong. You don't have a problem saying, I'm not going to do that. I would love to, but no. And because I've seen you still, like you said, you wanna reserve the energy for the things you wanna absorb. I've seen you still showing up and doing things with energy. I mean, you hosted us, everybody for Christmas, and you were flitting around and wearing one of mommy's Christmas sweaters and, haha, hey, it's Christmas.

Yeah.

I mean, it, it, you've been able to do the things that you've chosen to do with joy and focus, intentionality, and presence. And I think what's notable about that is, you know, if I'm looking at you, I'm not thinking this is happening and you're shutting things off, um, in order to continue to do things, cuz this is how you show up. And I think what I'm hearing you say is I choose to show up in my life, say no to a lot of things so I can say yes to a few things and to do them well. And I'm having to say less to even fewer things to continue to show up. And people see consistency as Oh, they have something I don't have. And what I'm hearing you say is this is something I choose to have. And I say no to more if I need to, to continue to show up the way I need to or the way that I want to.

That is exactly right. And it has required more nos.

Yeah.

And I think that's the reality of it. It doesn't even have to be grief and loss. It could just be age that as you get older and your energy level shifts or your body shifts or whatever, that there are going to have to be new nos. So that you can say a full yes to whatever your priorities are. And your priorities are going to keep shifting as you go through different seasons of life. And to accommodate those full on, we all have to look at our nose and go, OK, what do I need to add to this list so I can just be fully present? And I think too, Chrystal Hurst, losing the number of family members that we did, but particularly losing mom, was for me, and I think for all of us, really an eye-opener. About really enjoying your life and really capitalizing on the time that you do have. And that the world goes on even if you don't participate in that thing, whatever that thing is, the conference or the book or the invitation to do this or the whatever. If you don't participate, it's okay. Life's still going to go on. So what do I need to do to enjoy my life, to enjoy my husband, my children, my family? And then to just build an incubator of nos that accommodate all of these better yeses.

Now, you know, we're at that beginning time of year when people sit down and they get out their goal planners. And you remember, I was always a planner person. I was going to the Franklin Covey store and trying to write all things down.

All the things.

I don't recall you being a planner person, like just all the paper and all the pens and all those things. However, you do set goals. I remember I talked to Wynter about this. I was like, you just achieve, you achieve way more than I ever do. And I don't see you walking around with nobody's goal setting book. Like, you know, like, what is that? I'm curious. What does that look like? And for those of you who don't know who Wynter is, we, our cousin at 38 suddenly passed away. That was in 2018. So we weave her in and out of all of our conversations as we continue life because she also, is so very present with us. But I'm curious for you, what does it look like? Because you are very intentional. You have identified what you want to do, what really matters. You do have a thought process, a construct somehow in your brain of what I say yes to and what I say no to and what your yeses are. So what does it look like for you to say, I want to do more of this this year? Or, you know what, I— this is a focus for me this year. Do you intentionally do this? Do you write it down in a spiral notebook? Does it end up on a mirror or is it just in your head? What does it look like for you to think intentionally about your life and aim specifically for your yeses?

That is such a great question because I don't even know if my brain is organized enough around that topic to give you a linear answer. Yes, to Chrystal Hurst's point, she has always been a more organized person than me, always more specific in her goal orientation about life and how she's gonna achieve things. I normally set goals as they arise, meaning if I'm gonna write this year, okay, that's a project for this year, I'm headed towards that goal. If there's a certain goal that I want for my physical body, meaning if I need to lose some weight or I need to pick up some muscle mass or whatever. Well, then in that moment when I'm deciding that's the direction I'm headed, I'm just headed that direction. I think it's, it's less about planning in advance for me and more about once the thing is decided upon, then I am okay with— in other words, I don't get discouraged because the project is this big and it's way out there due a month, you know, it's not gonna come to fruition for a year or 7 months from now. I'm okay with the little bite-sized pieces and processes required on a daily basis to just keep heading slowly in that direction. Whether it's about weight with my body, or whether it's about a project like a book, or whether it's filming something that's gonna take all summer to film, but you don't even see the movie for another year after that cuz of all the editing process. I don't get overwhelmed by big projects because I just am okay with what's in front of me today. Maybe that's probably one of the— if there is a benefit for not being super goal-oriented like a 5-year plan and all that stuff, maybe that's one of the benefits is that I don't get overwhelmed by the big project because I'm just doing the little increment that is involved in the next 24 hours or the next week and I'm headed that direction. So I don't know if that answers the question.

It does answer the question. I mean, one of the things that I tell people all the time is you're getting, you're, you're getting overwhelmed when all you have to do is the next thing.

Yeah.

And often I think you get overwhelmed, people get overwhelmed because they don't know what the big thing is. But I'm like, but you do know what the next thing is, so just do your thing.

That's it.

Um, the other thing too is, you know, you are a doer. I am definitely a planner, and that has benefits to it because I, I will think about do things in detail and that has benefits. But while I'm still mapping out the progress plan for the next 5-year goal, you've done it already. It's like, I did that yesterday. And then you may comment to me, like I'll do it and you'll be like, oh, that was thoughtful. Like you'll notice the intentionality and how that brings benefit. But I notice how stuff just gets done. And so I think that You have to give yourself permission to get things done in the way that works for you. But don't forget, if you're a planner, to pull the trigger and do the next thing. And don't forget that if you're a doer, that sometimes taking a minute to pause and thinking about it a little bit, even if it is the next thing, can influence or affect the intentionality with which you do it. So give yourself the freedom. You know, I asked Daddy one time, you know, all these pastors that we know, people in ministry, business owners that I know, girl, you know, listen, I live for the information. I love the courses and the webinars and all that. I love it. Uh, people watch TV. I'm learning and growing and all these different things, right? But I asked Daddy one time, I said, you know, you are a very visionary leader who has had very specific goals over your lifetime, but I'm just curious, did you ever— like, do you have a book where you wrote things down? Like, what did that look like? Did you and Mommy ever go away for like a retreat, the two of you together, to plan? Like, you hear about people doing these quarterly retreats with their spouse, or they're taking their team away and all this. And he was like, no, I know, that's a, that's a new millennial thing.

That people, people 50 years ago wasn't taking no retreats.

Yeah, now, now, did he think about it? Yes. But did he map it out and organize it and buy the product and do all these things? I do think that certain things like with the ministry, with the church, with his national ministry. Other people captured the vision and documented it because other people had to follow it. But when it came to our family, he and mommy, they, they talked. There was ongoing communication. They shared vision. And as they shared vision, they tweaked it, you know, they just made, made adjustments to it. And so I want to release you if you're like, oh my gosh, it's the second week of the year, third week of the year, I'm listening to this podcast and I still have not written down my goals or moved forward on my resolution. What's the next thing?

Just do that.

Committed to doing the next thing. Just keep moving forward. Just keep moving forward. You mentioned it in your list of things. You said, you know, well, you know, or if it's doing a little project for the summer, you know, and she— I just, I loved how you just threw in the fact right there in a little bit that you're a movie star. And I just want to say that anytime I talk to you, she's rolling her eyes right now. Anytime I talk to you about your stint in the movie industry, I'm gonna say you're a movie star. I'm gonna say you're a movie star because I need you to accept the fact that you are an actress and that you have been in multiple movies, one of which, all of which did well, and one of which did superbly well, for you to stop denying the fact that you as an actress, have been able to be in multiple movies. So she throws it in there so, you know, so humble, with such humility, you know, little projects where you're over— wait for this summer. She's talking about the summer she's been being a movie star. That's what she's talking about. I'm just calling— I'm calling that out for you. You talked about, uh, your last Bible study. People will want to know what that is. So that was Elijah, right?

Okay.

And what's the name of that book that went Because that had a book, right? Am I making that up?

Well, no, it's just the Bible study workbook.

Okay, the Bible study and the workbook. I'll put a link to that in the show notes as well. There's one thing I've seen you making room for, um, which is also amazing. We talked about being clean, uh, also another amazing thing in comparison to childhood is you're a voracious reader. Now, when we grew up, I was the voracious reader. I would have a—

true—

at a Maverick game, we'd be at dinner, I'd have a book in my lap. I was—

mom and dad would have to make you put the book down because it was to the point of being rude. They were like, you're other people. You can't just read a book all the time.

Like our kids have video games and their phones and we make them put that down. That was me with a book all the time in a car.

All the time.

We'd be driving down the freeway and I'd be reading every 5 seconds to the light of the streetlight. Like I would capture 2 sentences. It was bad. You are a voracious reader. Which is great. Yeah. You're a voracious reader, which I'm like, so we have our little sister circle group. We call ourselves the tribe. We have a Voxer group and a text text group. And, um, and you just recently were asking for book recommendations, and I was just like, my sister is reading. I came to your house, I saw books, you know, there was a book here, and I— we've talked about— so I would love to know if there is a book or books that you're like, it's amazing, it's amazing, you should read it. Um, what would that book be? Because you've been diving in over the holidays. Yeah, I will pre-warn for you, be free to recommend whatever book you want to read You know, if they come for you, I will respond. But y'all, listen, you have to be able to eat the meat and throw out the bones and be able to receive—

Correct.

—wisdom, information, and history from people who may throw in a 4-letter word every now and then. And if that does not suit your fancy, then don't read it. So, but go ahead and be free and share whatever book recommendation.

Okay, well, I will say that And honestly, mostly I am reading theology books because I do enjoy them and it probably, they contribute to whatever I'm writing at the time or studying, whatever. So I really actually enjoy that. But then when I'm off of that, oh my gosh, I love just a good lighthearted, mind-freeing sort of just a novel or whatever. So I have recently read, well, I read Just As I Am, which is Cicely Tyson's biography. Just excellent. I just read Will Smith's biography. I thought it was excellent. And like Chrystal Hurst said, it's his biography. So all the foolery you expect is in it. And yet I really did appreciate the overarching view that he has of success, what drove him to get to the point that he got to, and then how he viewed it once he got there. And what he felt, what he realized he was still missing. So it's very interesting in that regard. My favorite fiction novel of all time is The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. If you have not read that, just get it and read it.

You will love it so much. It's gonna be a movie, isn't it?

Is it still gonna be a movie? It— well, it was a miniseries on Lifetime several years ago, so I don't know if— or is it Redeeming Love? Redeeming Love is getting ready to be—

okay, that's a good book too if you haven't read it.

Yes. And then I just read Karen Kingsbury, her last one. Oh my gosh, I can't remember the name. But anything, anyway, anything by Karen Kingsbury, Jodi Picoult, Small Great Things. I mean, there's just a list I could give you of lots of great, great books.

I just love getting lost in a random novel or by a writer reading what other people write, you know, and seeing— I mean, I literally went through Jodi Picoult's book, that Small Great Things. I went through it and read it with a pen like I was reading. Oh yeah, textbook. Because I was just like, what she just did with this sentence right here is ridiculous. Yeah, the cadence of good writing.

Oh my gosh, the cadence of it is ridiculous.

Yeah. So, okay, well, thank you for those recommendations.

Oh, also John Mark Comer. You just— oh yes, you just have to read John Mark Comer, anything he writes.

Yeah, it's just good. It's just good. That's awesome.

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comerica.

I don't want to read it because it's going to convict me to do things that I want to do. Well, slow down. Goodness gracious, Lord Jesus. Okay, let's talk about platform. So you recently hit a million followers, which is amazing. I always say if I'm holding somewhere close to 10% of what you have, I'm doing good. But I think that that's amazing. And here's why it's amazing because I have, you know, I always have interns around me and they're like, okay, but you got to start doing reels and you need to do this and you got to get on TikTok and you need to do this and you need that. And one of the things that I literally tell, that I literally tell them, one of the girls on the team that she's, her brain is just marketing brain and she's always telling me, I just say, listen, my sister, I literally just said this last night. My sister Priscilla Shire and my father Tony Evans have sizable followings. And while they do share intentional things, they not running around in circles doing all this. They not running around on their phone, you know, for 8 hours trying to stitch together a reel. Because listen, I know that these Gen Zers and these— some of these millennials— it's so serious. Oh my God. I mean, they are so serious in these streets. And, and I'm not mad because some of them are straight up influencers with hundreds of thousands of followers making a living from this. Yes, I'm just saying that I resist the urge to start doing the most because I see you with a million followers. Dad, I don't know where he is, but he's up there too. And what has fed that is their faithful, um, arrival on a regular basis to who they are supposed to be and what they are supposed to do. You have not been chasing platform. That's what I'm trying to say. You have not been chasing, uh, fame. I mean, even, um, and fame is such a weird word to use with you, but anyways, it is what it is. Joel comes up to me sometimes and says, who's more famous, you or Auntie Cilla? Or if I go live, he'll say, how many people did you have on your live? And I'll tell him, you know, whatever. And he'll say, well, when Auntie Cilla goes live, how many people does she have on her life? That's so interesting. We have both have sons who are into their YouTube following and who likes their videos and they're making these videos. But you have created unintentionally or intentionally, whatever that looks like for you, there is a platform, but you haven't chased it. And we talk about this every time we talk in some shape or form. But so many people are out here, girl, chasing. It's exhausting. Chasing the platform. And the problem is, in addition to the chase, because they're giving The Chase or the platform their yes, what they're unintentionally giving their nos to is their own personal time with the Lord, the time with their family, purpose, the development of friendships, their service in the local church. And so can you just speak to, first of all, just give a word to the people about what they really need to be thinking about and have in mind with the whole issue of platform that we have today. And then I want to ask you a question about what it is like to have a platform and to hold that, hold it well, you know, just with intentionality with what you post.

And, and just to add to the layer to what you just described, what the thing you're also saying no to when you're pursuing platform like that is your own sense of internal peace. Those two things just really cannot coexist when you're anxious about platform. And trying to pursue it and get it, because it's this constant moving target. So you sacrifice a sense of peace and rest and contentment when you're pursuing that. Now let me preface whatever I'm about to say by also suggesting and sharing that it's a struggle for all of us, because the world in which we live, this construct has been created. Social media has many benefits. It's incredible. It's exciting. It's a wonderful way to to minister to people, to have fun. It's great, but it has created and stirred— we see it in our kids. You know, my two oldest have Instagram now, and I mean, I look at them and all their friends posting, and it's, it's literally they're just posting themselves. It's just selfies. That this world we live in is everybody now trying to create this image of themselves. I see some young women, they don't even know what it is to take a picture and post a picture of themselves as they are because filters is— it's what you do. You put on this persona. So what it has created in us is this voracious desire to be perceived a certain way by the public. So particularly those of us who are in ministry, if we're not careful, we can get so caught up in that. All of us can. So when we recognize it, when I see it, when I feel that thing on the inside of me that wants to keep up with the Joneses or be in that, in the middle of what it looks like is that really unique environment where everybody's swirling around in a particular conversation or a particular sort of posts or pictures, when I feel that, I just immediately take that captive. What I mean by that is like the scriptures talk about taking thoughts captive. I recognize what it is, I see it, I feel it, and then I don't allow myself to contribute to that. So if I'm only gonna comment on that or say something because I wanna be included, that's the thing that I intentionally do not comment on so as not to feed that part of me, which we all have, that is driven by that pride and that sort of wanting to be accepted by people. So to answer your question, it's a constant struggle that I think we all are gonna have. And we just have to recognize it when we see that creeping up on us and then resist the urge to feed that part of us that will constantly be hungry for attention. I will tell you, Chrystal Hurst, one of the eye-opening things that happened to me maybe 15 years ago, I was in Australia. I was speaking at a conference there and this group in Australia, um, They asked me while I was there several questions about several other people who they were thinking about having come over to their conference in future years. So they wanted my opinion on those people. They asked me about CeCe Winans. They asked me about Beth Moore. And they asked me about Tony Evans. Their questions were, who are these people? We've heard their name, but who are they? What do they do exactly? How do they— so they're asking questions from a completely oblivious standpoint of who CeCe Winans is, who Beth Moore is, who Tony Evans is. So here I am listening to them, their genuine hearts asking about these people, but they have no idea who they are. That was one of the first times I had an eye-opening experience where you might be something in your world, But the world is so big that if for a moment you think you're up here, all you got to do is go into another sphere to realize actually nobody has any idea who you are. Being in that sort of happening, that happening several times in my life, is a constant reminder to me that I just better serve God faithfully where I am, no matter how well somebody might know me in this circle or whatever. In the grand scheme of the whole world, I'm really just a small part and participant in what God is doing in his kingdom across the, across the earth. So that sort of helps me too, to remember that there are people that I admire and revere so much who in other parts of the world, they don't even really know their names. And it's baffling to me.

How they not gonna know your dad's name? That's the crazy part. How they not gonna know who Tony Evans is? Is. How do you not know who CeCe Winans is?

But you do. I was great—

you go ahead, go ahead.

I was just gonna say I was grateful to say on behalf of all three of those people, I was grateful to be able to say that they're incredible and have such integrity in ministry and, and that I love them dearly.

You are intentional though about what you post on social media. I know that, you know, even down to us both needing creatives in our sphere of influence who can make the graphics and edit the videos and make them easy for us to post on our platform, you know, that kind of thing. I know that there is an intentionality. I love how you share your comedic videos, you know, just to— just, it's just like bringing levity. Like, this don't have nothing to do about Jesus or Genesis 1:1. Me or my family, but you just need this in your life today. There is an intentionality, and I'd love for you to talk about that. The fun, but also the very serious. There are times when there is something swirling in the atmosphere. There is something current news, and if you're a woman, you're supposed to post it. If you are a woman of faith or a person of faith, you're supposed to post it. If you Black, You supposed to post it. And there have been multiple times where you're just like, I cannot have my dog in every fight. It's not that the fight is not important. It's just that with the care of my platform and with the care of the platform that God has given me and the things that he has given me to have a microphone about, just because I have hundreds of thousands of followers or a million followers, that doesn't mean that I have to be the microphone for everybody's issue. I've heard you talk about that. I've heard other people with large platforms talk about that. So I'd love to know what your thought process is when you bring the fun and when you bring the stuff that's hard. How do you resist the urge to jump on the bandwagon just because everybody's talking about it? Yeah, you have a platform, you're supposed to help spread the word.

I know. And you would be amazed how many emails or DMs or whatever that I personally get, or that we get on our ministry page, that are very upset that I have not lent enough support to a particular topic that they think that I should be using my platform for. It's amazing how many people think that they should be able to control what you are and are not posting. So it is something, particularly, you know, a year and a half ago when we all went through the George Floyd incident together as a, you know, a global community, but particularly here in the States, and then all of the emphasis that was placed, rightfully so, on issues of justice and racial equity and all that. That was a time that I can remember among many others where I really, really, really sought the Lord and advice of mentors about what my influence should be, what I should be using my platform for. And the reality is it was a very important topic to me. Still is, and other topics like it. But this, this is the way I feel about it. I feel like there are some hills that I know God has called me to die on, but if I get killed on the hills that are not mine, listen, then I'm not available and, and able to actually be on the hill that God's called me to so that I can reach the people that are looking at that hill where I'm supposed to be posted. With that particular message. So I'm always asking myself, all right, if I post this or if I contribute to this or if I support this, and I mean any number of issues, is this a hill God has called me to die on? Because you're going to die on it. There is some group—

They will crucify you. Oh, yeah.

You're going to get canceled and crucified. And there's some things I'm very willing to be because that's— I know God has called me to that hill. But I would rather, for some of the cultural political issues that arise, I would much rather point to the people who that is their hill that God has called them to. They've studied it, they've learned it, they've got the language around it. Instead of me trying to be an expert in every topic, why wouldn't I give a spotlight to the people who have given their lives to to study that topic, to develop the language around it, to actually build integrity in their community around that issue. There are so many people who know what they're talking about in that political sphere or that cultural sphere or that racial sphere or whatever the issue might be. And I think that we need to be lending our platforms to support those people and to draw people's attention to them. So that's sort of what I— one of the things I weigh through as I determine what I will and will not post and lend support to publicly. Because sometimes the better influence I can have is with the administration at my kids' school as I'm talking to them about their textbooks or talking about the way they address certain things in school policy. If I can spend my time as a mom on that PTA or on the neighborhood association in my neighborhood or at our local church with the youth group at the church there, sort of lending my support there. Just because people don't see me on my public platform using it in the way they think I should doesn't lessen the value of what I'm doing privately. And people—

And it's not going to post about that. But people—

And I'm not going to post about that. Right. That's right. They have no idea all the conversations that I've had with so many people about so many different topics that have actually shifted shifted the trajectory of some things that are very important in a school district or in our neighborhood or whatever, in my sphere of influence that I have with other women's ministry leaders who are asking me questions about how to navigate diversity or all that. All these conversations and important things that I'm doing in a private sphere that I'm not posting about. And I, and I think that— I'm so glad you said that, Chrystal, because I think that should bring encouragement to all the people who feel like, have begun to feel like— Yes, that their circle is small, so what they're doing doesn't matter. Yeah. No. Do what you can in the sphere of influence God has given you. You don't have to post about it. You don't need to post about it. You can make an imprint on those issues that are very important and concerning to you without feeling like you have to use your public platform for it to be validated.

That's so good. You know, one time I was, I, you know, I do all these things, you know, I'm going live and I'm doing all these different things and I want to do a good job at it. And so, you know, I look at the numbers, we pay attention. I try, I have to work really hard because I'm wired as an achiever to make the A, you know, and so I can sacrifice making the A at the cost of something else. But my point is this, I was talking one time about Man, look at the number of people that watch this video. And I wonder what it's going to take for me to increase the number of people that watch this video. And one of our good friends, Shonda, said to me, she said, let me ask you a question. When you go speak, what do you think is a good audience size? Like, I know you're willing to speak at anybody, speak anywhere, but if you have this many people in the audience, like, what do you think is a large speaking event? I said, oh, 500 to 1,000 women for me is a large speaking event. And she said, yet you're disappointed that 2,500 people watched that video. Like even comparing it to myself, she was like, the issue is the comparison factor. And you saying, is it impactful because somebody else had 300,000 people watch a video? Is it impactful that you had 2,500 people watch yours? She said, you just 2.5x'd your audience with one video sitting at home. Why are you dissatisfied with that? I think about our grandmother raising 8 kids, wanting to do certain things with her life and choosing not to do certain things because she focused on raising her children. And now she has 8 children on multiple continents who are doing the work of the Lord and doing more mission work than she ever could have done, which is what she dreamed of doing. So she 10x'd her investment in the growth and development of people's lives spiritually because she was willing to be committed to her audience. Of 8. And so I think whatever your platform is, even if it's the 3 kids down the hallway, the 5 kids in your small— the 5 women who are in your small group, the people who sit on your row every Sunday, you're a nurse and the people who God gives you the ability to steward in the ER today. I think us paying attention to the platform that we're given, whatever that is, apart from social media, and being faithful to share what God has given us to share in that sphere is where we make the difference. And we've got to stop looking at numbers and feeling less than or more than because of where we stand on social media. For sure. Absolutely. I wanted to ask you this last thing. You are such a promoter of other people. You are a cheerleader. You literally were a cheerleader in high school. It brings you great joy. It's evident by watching how you react. It brings you great joy. To cheerlead someone else, to support someone else, to help them get to the next thing, to celebrate their accomplishments. You come alive when you get an opportunity to do that. There are so many women, whether they're in ministry or not, that we don't know about on social media who are worth following. And so I would love for you just to give a sister shout out to anybody that you're like, if you don't know who this person is, whether, you know, just the levity that they bring, I would love for you to share, here are 2 or 3 women that you need to go and follow immediately because you enjoy learning from, growing from, laughing at who they are and what they're all about?

You're putting me on the spot there. Okay, let's see here. Okay, well, I do feel like you, if you're not following Jackie Hill Perry, you should be. She always has something deep and profound and amazing to say, but also just sort of following her life with 4 small children. Yes, it's hilarious. And all, it's hilarious. And all of her makeover stuff with her homes and stuff like that. She's so talented. So I really enjoy, enjoy watching her. Okay, I'm trying to think who else. Chrystal Hurst, um, uh, I think that Tony Baker is hysterical.

Now, sometimes pee on yourself hysterical, like I peed on myself.

Yeah, he— and he sometimes it might be a little to the left So you have to just brace yourself because sometimes it might be a little slow, but generally speaking, he's just doing voiceovers with animal videos and they're hysterical. So that's one that you would enjoy. And then I also enjoy following Ashley Eland. Yes. So Ashley Eland and Tabitha Brown. Auntie Tab. Mm-hmm. Yes.

I, I'm so impressed with Ashley. I mean, she just has such a crazy position of leadership at such a young age, and she's so graceful handling. She's very graceful handling her position, and she's a young mom. So I mean, I just think she's a boss babe, but you know, she wouldn't say that. But to me, I'm looking at her and thinking, honey, you are in rooms that people have no idea, having conversations with people have— people have no idea what you're doing, but you have such a, such a, um, a powerful position and she holds it so quietly and with such grace.

And so, yeah, I enjoy following her too.

Absolutely. Thanks for letting me put you on the spot and, um, letting me share that. I'm not going to talk about your hair because we always talk about your hair. This is the only thing, but people always ask y'all, this is what you need to know. I can say it for you, Priscilla, go look back at your baby pictures. Whatever you had when you were 5 is what you will have. Yes. Do not expect to have Priscilla's hair. Her hair is a phenomenon. Our mother had crazy hair on her hair. Our cousin Clarice has crazy hair. Our cousin Faith has crazy hair. The other girls don't have crazy hair. So even in our family, this is not a repeatable phenomenon, okay? Just, just moisturize, leave it alone, put some extensions on it, braid it up, throw a wig on it. Just don't touch it. God did not make curly black textured hair to have a bunch of iterations of touch and just leave it alone and keep it clean. Like, that's basically it.

Don't use a lot of heat.

That's a big deal. Don't use a lot of heat. Just, just leave it alone.

Um, I have something to share that is totally off topic. Okay. I want you all to see what was one of the best Christmas gifts that I got this year.

Let's see here.

I don't even know if you can read that. Ember. Ember, girl.

Is it a coffee mug that just stays hot?

What, girl? LifeWay Women, my publisher for Bible studies, they sent this to me for Christmas. Oh my word. And I have not stopped using it. So it's got a saucer that basically is plugged in, and the saucer is a charger. So I leave it on there when I wash the cup. I just leave it on there, and when I take it off, I get like an hour and a half of like the last sip of coffee or tea is just as hot, even if it's been sitting on your desk for 45 minutes to an hour.

It's the small joys. It's the little things.

It's the small joys. And if I leave it on the saucer, Chrystal Hurst, at the desk plugged in, it will be hot all day long. So I'm just saying, if you need a gift for your mama and them, this Ember situation has blessed my life.

And you are a gift person for sure. I am a gift person. I'm so grateful that you are, so I can call you when it's time to give gifts.

You are great at gifts. Too, Chrystal. You— y'all, Chrystal be doing the most with the gifts. I'm serious. They're all personalized and sweet and thoughtful. And thank you, Chrystal.

But I have it when I have it, and I don't when I don't. If you don't have inspiration, you can still give a good gift. If I don't know what is going to rock your world this Christmas, I'm clueless. Like, it's either I got to go all the way in and custom make it for you, or I got nothing. But that's my whole personality, right? Zero to 60. I'm either doing nothing or doing all the things. And you just kind of keep a steady, I'm going to show up and give my yeses where I, where I need to. Well, I love you very much.

I love you too. Thank you for letting me be on.

I get to be your sister and I'm very grateful that you got a chance to. I was like, I can't start the Sister Circle podcast off and not start with my actual sister. But y'all, because she's in this season, like we're coming off of the holidays, I knew how I had to approach her. I was like, now listen, No pressure, because she's in a season of no right now. It's been this way since at least solid November. So I was like, listen, I know you're not trying to do no interviews. I know you're not trying to do no work. And I know that I'm not trying to take advantage of our sistership by saying, girl, I need you. So I was like, no pressure. And I said, but just know this, but it's a podcast. It's a podcast. Like, if we don't have to see each other, she was like, okay, because I don't necessarily want to have to feel any pressure to be on video or get dressed. I said, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you.

This was all I could do this morning. This is all I could do.

But we were on the phone before we got on this interview, and the only reason why I went and put a little mascara on and a little something—

because you saw me getting dressed, because I saw your brows were done.

I was like, oh Lord, she done penciled in her brows, let me go and make sure—

you told me it was a video too, and we— and then we— you would use it.

But I also told you I wouldn't if we didn't have to. So when I saw you getting prepared I literally was still in a robe. You saw me earlier in a robe.

I was like, I was trying to be helpful. I was trying to be a full guest.

Yeah. Well, thank you for being a full, a full guest. I'm very, very grateful. And let me just say over you in front of everybody who's, who's listening, or I don't know if we're going to use video or not, but for sure for everybody who's listening, the intentionality, and I know you will, so I know you don't do it perfectly. None of us do, but the intentionality with which you show up to the things you're called to do, that you show up for the people you're called to serve, that you show up for the ministry that God has given you to, to steward. The way you intentionally show up, saying all the nos, but being very present for the yeses is such an example. It's an example for me. I literally say to myself often, What would Priscilla say here? If there's an opportunity that I have, I think, I think of things like you've said to me, girl, if it's not a yes, don't, don't work to give the no. Like the no happens when it's not a yes. So don't think, is this a no? Think, is it a yes? And if it's not a yes, say no. Like I literally hear your voice in my head with the rationale that you use in the thought process that you have with the particularity. That you use about to, for putting in your, your, your life, what you have. So I just want to say you are intentional. Um, and that shows up in so many, so many different ways with how you show up for other people and with how you show up for me. And I know that, you know, even in the midst of us walking through these last 2 years and the chips falling for mommy and us figuring out who does what and when do we do it and how do we include each other in those sensitive activities and all the things that we still negotiate as sisters, uh, cause we get better at being sisters, but we're still sisters. We still know how to rub each other, where the friction points are. We still know those things. Even with how you show up for me and that intentionality and the grace that you've given me as we go through our mother's things, cause you're just like, I could get it done and you need time. There's such an intentionality with how you serve daddy, um, care for our brothers, our nieces, and nephews. You are such an intentional person, and I want you to know that I have been learning and still get to learn from you, and I'm really, really grateful because you're my sister to be able to learn from you. Okay, so thank you.

Oh, thank you, Chrissy. I could say all of those exact same things right back to you, so I appreciate it very much.

Oh, there's a thing, right? Have you seen the thing? It's flu— flu-rona. Like, it's a combination of the flu and, and corona. People are having both. They're testing positive for both. It's a mess. Okay.

Yeah, it is a mess right now.

I'm sorry. Well, I will talk to you later. Love you, and thanks for joining me.

You're welcome. Thanks for having me.

I'm glad we could do it, and I got to do it with fresh Dominican hair.

I know, I know. That's why I pulled mine out of my ponytail. I was like, let me look like I'm halfway decent.

Listen, and it's mine. It's not the wig.

It's not the puppy. How about it?

It's all mine. All right, I got to hold on to it though, because it's thinning. You know, it's thinning. I got to hold on to it while I got it. All right, bye.