Chrystal Hurst answers questions about building her blended family of five children and her decade as a single mother. She credits God for her family size, emphasizes that community support matters, and tells single parents to pray and accept help rather than trying to do it alone.
¡Qué bueno! Good morning, ladies. I had a couple of questions to answer for you today. One person asked me about our family and how we decided when and how many children to have. We have 5 children: girls 21 and 17, boys 10, 8, and 4. When my husband and I got married, we gave each other a wedding gift. We each had a girl already. We were a blended family. I was a single parent before that. He was a single parent before that. We waited a year to have any other children. That was the first boy that was born, and that was the only child that we planned. The other two just came when they came. So the second child came 22 months after, and the third child came about 2 and a half years after. And just to keep it real, nothing's cut, dyed, burnt, or shriveled up. And so we could have more. I'm 41, and I would be okay with that. Now that I've said that, I want to say people have a tendency to think that the way they do their families is the way everybody should do their families, and I'm not saying that. I'm saying that for us bless. Um, we believe children are a blessing, and we'll take them. As long as my husband says yes, I'll say yes. Now, that said, I'm very grateful that our family size is what it is, because, um, as I mentioned before, we've had lots of health challenges in our family. And, um, so our family size is something that I can handle, even if my husband is having a bad day. But, um, I always say, if God said he'd give me a million dollars because he wanted to bless me, I wouldn't say, oh no, just give me $5,000. I'd want the whole million. So until God says differently, we're open, but we're content if we don't have any more either. I have friends that have 11 and 12 children, and that works for them. I have friends that have 1 or 2 children, and that works for them. I think the bottom line is we all have to go to the Lord and be accountable for the decisions that we make, including the sizes of our families. That's question number 1. Question number 2 was how— any encouragement for single parents. I was a single parent for 10 years before I got married, and I will just say that God can make a big difference. You do have to work hard and then you have to work hard again after work when you get home because you have to, you have a kid or kids to take care of. And so, um, okay, bye, have a good day. I'm in the bathroom hiding. And so, um, as a single mom, I have to say two things. Number one, it does require sacrifice. There's no way that you can do it all. And even when you're doing as much as you can, um, you just do the best that you can with what you have. We all have 24 hours in the day, so you work hard, then you come home, you give your kids your best. Don't sweat what you can't give them, just do your best. But that does mean sacrifice, that maybe you won't be able to watch as much TV as your friends, or have as much social engagement as your friends, or as much free time as your friends. And it's a sacrifice that we make because children, the investment that you make in your kids, it lasts a lifetime. So, um, I would say, uh, to encourage you that God can make up the difference. When Hagar was in the desert and she thought she was dying, she lifted up her eyes and she saw water. God provided for her even in a situation where she didn't feel like she could provide for herself. Every day that you're still alive is a day that you have made it. Even if you've made it with, with some crutches and in a wheelchair, you have made it. And be encouraged, many a single mom has done it by herself and done a good job with her kids. So you just pray, you ask God to give you guidance, and then every day with every that you have. You do the best that you can. You give your kids the best that you can give them. And then just trust God to make up the difference because He will. He is a Father to the fatherless. He's a Mother to the motherless, and He can be— He can fill in the gaps for you too. I will say that I didn't do it perfectly, and if I could do anything differently to go back to my single years, it would be to be just a little bit more focused and disciplined and sacrificial for the life of my child. I was young, and so I had lots of people that were supportive, but but I, and I wanted to have fun because I was young, and I wish I would have been a little bit more serious in terms of deciding that things for me could wait. Some things, not everything, but some things could wait so that I could pour into my daughter a little bit more. The other thing is I would say people that are in and around you, your church, your family, let them help. Let them know what you need, and I know you don't want to be a burden, but sometimes people want to help, and you actually bless them by letting them be a blessing to you. Okay, I hope that helps. Keep sending in questions. We've got one more Wednesday. Next Wednesday is our last one, so I will make sure that I have Dad on that. So send in your heavy-hitting questions. I'll make sure that he answers them. You guys have a great day. Bye!
