Chrystal Hurst walks through how to remember who you are by inventorying your life, decluttering what no longer serves you, and restructuring your routines. She uses a closet collapse that revealed a forgotten dress as a metaphor for rediscovering yourself through three practices: taking stock of your resources, deciding what to keep or release, and resetting the systems that hold them.
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Have you ever felt lost in the middle of your life? Listen, everybody I know has at one point or another and probably has multiple times. The good news is you don't have to stay feeling that way. Come on, sis, let's talk about it today. Hi, my name is Chrystal Hurst, and if you are joining me for the first time, you want to make sure that you subscribe to my YouTube channel or you follow me on Facebook because Every Sunday night I am sharing videos that I hope— in fact, I know— will help you to live your life with focus and to live your life well. I am doing this usually as a part of a live that I do every week inside of my Inner Circle. That is a group of women who have decided, yes, they love seeing me on YouTube or Facebook or maybe following me on social media, but what they really want is to transform their lives, and they are willing to do the work. And so they join me there for a course library and for all kinds of great stuff. I bring in my friends There is coaching to the max in there. And the good news is, if you're watching this video, that the Inner Circle opens July 1st, and you want to come on in the room because it's a good, good time to be here. I want to talk to you today, though, about what it looks like to do a good job of remembering you, because we all feel lost at some point in our lives. And it is important for you to do the work to remember who you're supposed to be in this world, because life goes by fast. On 7/7 of this year, 2022, y'all, I will be A doggone 50 years old. 5-0, as in 5 and 0, or depending on which way this camera is going to go, I don't know. But the point is, you get the point. I don't even know what 50 is supposed to feel like, but I sure don't feel like it. What I do know is that time moves fast, and whatever I intend on doing with my life, I need to make sure at given points in time, I need to have checkpoints in my life to say, am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I spending my time the way it really matters? Am I leaving a mark that will last beyond me? And that question is a big question, and I am here to tell you, I know sometimes for some of us that question can be overwhelming, especially when you don't know, especially when you feel lost in your life. Listen, I want to tell you about this dress right here. Now, I get a Stitch Fix box once a month. Most months I let that box go right on back to Stitch Fix because what Stitch Fix basically gave me is a free try-on session in my home, and I'm happy about it. They send me clothes that I would not normally try on or normally pick up in the store, but But because they sent it to me, I may, I may try it on. Y'all, this came in a Stitch Fix box, and listen, it is colors, it is florals, it is yellow, even with a little pink in there. And if you've been around for any length of time, you know that pink is not my fave. You know, obviously I'm here for the yellow, but florals, not necessarily my fave either. But I love this dress. The reason why some of y'all who have been around for a while haven't seen this dress is because it was buried in my closet. Obviously I don't wear it often enough. Most of you know that I love t-shirts and yoga pants. They're usually black. If I'm not wearing t-shirts and yoga pants, I'm wearing this black muumuu that I get off of Amazon that I love to the utmost. Do you hear me? To the utmost. And I know I love it to the utmost because my nephew asked my sister one day when I walked into her home, he said, Mom, Why does Aunt Chrissy always wear the same black dress? Well, the answer to the question is because I love it. Because it basically feels like I got out of bed. Because it feels like if I had to go to bed in that dress, I could. Because even when I'm wearing that black dress, it really doesn't look like a muumuu. I get compliments on that black dress everywhere I go. You want to know how many of those black dresses I have? I have at least 4, maybe 5. And when they start looking a little ratty and a little pilly, guess what I do? I buy another one. That is my travel dress. That is my I'm running to the store dress. That is my I can put it on with some slides, some flip-flops, or some cute Converse, and I look like I'm on purpose. Let me throw on some cute jewelry, and that black dress gets me everywhere I need to go in this world. In this world. However, people notice that I'm always wearing the same thing. So here recently, I was hanging up some clothes in my closet And I am a cleaner of my clothes. I am a folder of my clothes. I am even a putter away of my clothes that go in the drawer. When it comes to my closet, that's a whole situation. I need to make time to hang them up on hangers and try to put them back where they go. And so what ends up happening is all my hanging clothes end up laying on this little, uh, chair that's in my closet, on this little rack that's in my closet, and I wait until I have some time to hang them back. Up. So y'all, I was hanging up my clothes in my closet and the rod fell down and everything on that rod fell to the ground. So you know what that meant? That meant that I had to put everything, gather it up. I had to lay everything hanger now on that surface, and I was just gathering things off of the floor, which meant that I discovered or rediscovered some things I hadn't worn in a while. So this came from the Stitch Fix box. Hadn't worn it in a while. It also feels like pajamas. Thank you, Jesus. It is a short dress. I can't stand up and show you because then you'd have to see my lower legs, and my lower legs are not a public presentable right now. However, I found it and I remembered that I love this dress. It actually isn't quite me. It's something I wouldn't necessarily pick out in the store, but it's fun., and I feel happy when I wear it, both because the colors make me happy and the flowers make me feel a little feminine, but mainly because it's stretchy and feels like pajamas. So yay for the color and the floral and the feminine and pajama wear. But I didn't discover it until things fell down. Somebody knows where I'm going. Come on, church! Sometimes it's not until things collapse in your life that you remember what you have to work with, or that you are forced to remember again what has been in your closet, in your soul, in the gift of you all along. Things collapsing is not always the worst thing because sometimes it sets you on a path of discovery. Sometimes we have to rediscover the girl in us because things have collapsed in our lives. Sometimes we can choose to live in ongoing discovery because we want to make sure that we are cycling through what what has been put into our closet to wear. So I want to talk to you today about remembering you. Going into July, the Inner Circle, which will be opening July 1st, as I mentioned, we will be starting a group live course. It's a live experience called Remembering You. We do live experiences together all the time, and I want to give you a little bit of a hint for what you can do to remember you, whether you're in the Inner Circle or not, because it's so very important. Life goes by fast, and if you don't intentionally choose to do the work of discovery And you don't want to have to do it when life falls down, but the good news is when life collapses, that's a good time to take inventory, right? It's a good time to take a look at what's really important in your life and decide what are you going to wear today? What are you going to decide that no longer belongs in you or in your closet? So regardless of what season you're in, a season of organization, a season of, uh, intentionality, or a season of collapse, it's always a good season to remember the gift of you. So the first thing that I want to tell you that you need to do at all times, no matter what season you're in, is to take inventory. You need to know what you have on the inside. Now, I knew that this was in there, I just wasn't using it. But some of us don't even know. We don't even know what's in our closet until we take everything out and take a look at it, and then we go, oh, I forgot about this. You need to go through what you have. In your closet. We know this to be true. Every so often the closet gets full. It's— it may not be falling down, your rod may not be falling down, but you just can't even get into the hangers. Stuff is just so cluttered in there. And what it means when it's cluttered is you can't see clearly. So taking inventory of what is in your closet, or better yet, what is in you, is the action that you want to take. How do you do this? You are— you should be a journaler. You need to have friendships. You see your counselor, you see a therapist, you read books. You are constantly in the act of saying, what's in me. You go to school, you develop your giftings, you ask other people around you, what do you see? You celebrate the gift of you. You do the things that you love. You make time for your hobbies. Take inventory of what is in your life. Is it supposed to be in here, or is it just taking up space? And what do you do when you go through what you have? This is where, honestly, where most people get stuck, because we don't want to do that work. We need to declutter, y'all, our spaces and our houses. And why don't we do it? Because we don't make the time. We know we need to go through that junk drawer, but we don't make the time. We know those papers in the file cabinet are taking up too much space, and we have files in there from 2017 that we don't need anymore, but we don't take the time. We know that we have too many books on our bookshelves. Those books are piling up every which way. We aren't even going to read all of them. Somebody else could be reading them. Oh, did I just convict myself? I may have. But the point is, why don't we take inventory? Because we're not making the space to do it. And when you know, when you know that you should be taking inventory and you don't do it, what you're living with is clutter. Do you know what clutter does? It doesn't just clutter up that space, it clutters up your mind. It clutters up your actions because you constantly have to go through things you're not using to get to what's really important. What you need to do on a regular basis is take inventory of you, of your soul, of your life, of your time. Running a time budget to say, listen, I have 24 hours in a day just like everybody else has 24 hours in a day. How am I using my time? Taking inventory of who you are and what you're doing in this world on a regular basis is how you can honor the gift of you in this world. And most of us get stuck there because we won't make the time, or we don't make the effort to do it. And so what do we do? We end up wearing the same clothes every day. And it doesn't mean those aren't good clothes, and it doesn't mean they don't have good utility, and it doesn't mean we can't dress those things up and make them look like they're supposed to be here. But what it does mean is you're not using the full spectrum of everything you've been given. When you don't take the time to take inventory, you don't even know or you don't even remember what you should be working with. The second thing you need to do in your life is to make sure that you have made decisions about what you're going to keep, toss, or give away. Y'all, some, some of them yoga pants— I love the Walmart yoga pants. They changed their brand. I had to figure, figure out how to live my life with a new brand, but I think I figured it out. I found the, the, the yoga pants I loved on Amazon, and Walmart was charging way less for those yoga pants than than, uh, than they were charging online. So I had to find a different version of Walmart that I could enjoy. But here's what you need to know: I keep them all. I have a pair of yoga pants that have a hole in them, and I promised myself that I'll never wear those pants in public. But you want to know what happens? Sometimes all the clothes are dirty, and then that's that last pair of pants, and I put them on with no plans to go anywhere. And then, y'all, We run out of milk. So then I say, I'm gonna run to the store right quick, real quick, in a pinch. I'm just gonna run in there and run out. And that's the day I run into everybody I know. I run into everybody go to church with. I run into everybody I went to high school with. I run into an ex. And I got a whole hole in my pants, just front and center. It's not even in the thigh. You can't even hide it. It's just right there you know, on the upper quad. Why do I even still have these pants? Somebody asked me. You want to know why? Because I have told myself that I'm not going to wear the thing that has a hole in it. But do you know what happens when I'm in a pinch? Uh, somebody knows. Just know this is, this is right here. This is good. You will wear the thing that is no good for you because you didn't get rid of it. Sometimes the stuff that is old, the stuff that has holes in it, the stuff that you no longer should even have in your house you will put on in a pinch because it's comfortable and because it's available. And then you'll realize that you're wearing it out, that you are trying to do your best work in this life in stuff that is old, that doesn't fit you anymore, or that is not designed for you to wear in this season. But because you're in a pinch, because you're stressed, because you are, uh, you are in a funk, because you're not happy, because you're in hard times, you will pull something out that's not even for you anymore. You'll go back to that old habit, you go back to that old relationship, you go back to that old situation because you know it, it's comfortable, but it has a hole in it. So when you take inventory of your life, what you should be doing is also making decisions. What am I keeping? What am I tossing? Or what was good for me for a season but now it needs to be good for somebody else? I no longer need this. I don't have room for this. This belongs to someone else. This applies to mentorship, y'all. It's not even about clothes. Sometimes the, the job that you've had, it's it's time to give it to somebody else. You look around and you say, I need to disciple this girl at my job, or I need to mentor this person in my church because I held this leadership position in this role for so long and it's my season to move on to something else. But if I hold on to it too long, it's going to develop a hole. It's not designed to fit me in the season anymore. Or this doesn't have a hole, it's still good, but I need to pass this along to someone else while it still can be used, while it's still something that is needed. Take inventory and then make decisions. This is another place where we get stuck because we don't want to change. We don't want to go shopping. Lord knows I do not. God help me. We don't want to do new things. Means we have to go to new places and try things on and know that this fits or that this doesn't fit, or this is my color, this is not my color. We have to spend money. We have to make an investment to level up what's in our closet. We don't want to do the work of not only taking inventory but making the decision about what is new, what is old, and what should be lent so that someone else can borrow it and put it in their own season. And then after you take inventory and after you make decisions, then you have to reset and restructure your life so that it can hold what you're supposed to have in it. Listen, y'all, not only did the rod come down, but a little supporting rod in my closet also came out the wall. Straight up came out the wall. So now I got sheetrock that's all littered all over my carpet floor. It's a mess. It's a mess. And you want to know how that mess got started? Because there was too much on the hook. There were too many things on the hanger. And now I got to clean that mess up. Not only do I have to clean that mess up, but when I do, I have to hit the reset button on the rod by restructuring and reinforcing what that rod is designed to hold. Because maybe that rod wasn't designed to hold the clothes I'm supposed to have in my life. I could have put too much on an old rod. Maybe it's not so much that I put the wrong clothes or too many clothes on the rod. Maybe it's that rod was for the person who owned the house before me. And maybe the clothes I'm supposed to wear need another rod. Maybe that's the case. Don't tell my husband, but maybe I need to redesign my closet. Don't tell him I said that. I hope he's not watching. You need to look at your life and say, what is my life designed to hold, and what structure needs to be in it so that I can hold it? What does this mean? This means that if you are in a season of your life where your life can no longer hold, uh, all of the activities that you used to do, because now what your life needs to hold is the care for an aging parent or the care for young children, if now what your life needs to hold is, uh, the things in your life that need to make way because you're working on that master's degree Maybe who you were then, you weren't reading, you weren't developing, you weren't taking classes. And now that you want to level up your own soul and your own mind, you cannot hold that shopping habit because the money now needs to go to the education or to the books or to the class or to the coaching. You have to say to yourself, what is my life supposed to hold now? And what am I going to do to restructure, reset, and reinforce my life so that it can hold hold the clothes that are designed to go in here, to hold the decisions that are designed to go in here, to hold the growth that's supposed to go in here, to hold the talent, the giftedness, to hold my journey, to hold that new business, to hold that new man, to hold this new baby, to hold this new job, to hold this new degree, to hold this new financial structure. Maybe I'm supposed to be getting out of debt, that everything that I've been doing is not going to allow me to do that. I need a new rod. I need a new financial structure in my life because what I need to put on this financial structure are things that don't fit on that old rod. If you want to have a new wardrobe, you're going to have to clean the old things out, put the new things in, and then make sure that rod is designed to hold it. And that often requires restructuring. You want to know why you can't find what's in your closet? Because you need a new structure. You don't need more bins. You need a new structure. You need to get rid of what's in there and make sure the bins you have can fit it. And if they can't, you need to ask yourself a question: is what I have in this bin— do I have too much, or is this what I'm supposed to have in this season? And then if it's supposed to be what I'm doing in this season, then you buy a new bin. What is this season supposed to hold? Y'all listen, my digital archives right now, my digital files are a mess. My photos are a mess. And do you want to know the same thing that's true of my physical closet? Is true of my hard drive. It's in a need of— like, listen, I need somebody in my life who loves to move things around in digital spaces and can track where stuff is, because every time I start trying to do it, my head wants to explode. But you want to know why I have to— you want to know why I have to clean out my hard drive? Because I have a 4 terabyte solid state— here's the geeky girl coming out— hard drive on my 2013 iMac. 4 terabytes is a lot. Do you want to know what I have? We want to know what the problem is right now with my 4 terabyte hard drive on my solid state in my very messy office. It has limits. 4 terabytes is a lot, y'all, and that solid state moves really fast. I love it. But even at 4 terabytes, there are limits. And the only way that I'm going to be able to put out new projects, to put out new videos, to create new work, to create new content and have room for that on my computer is if I clean some of the old stuff off, put it in a folder, put it on a shelf, put it on external drive for safekeeping. The only way my family is going to see my photos is if I go through there, pick out the best ones. They don't need to see all of them, they need to see the best ones. Put those in photo albums, put those in picture frames, celebrate those. And everything else can be nicely, neatly organized so I can find it later, or it can just sit on a hard drive. Because every picture that I take does not need to be seen. Every file that I've ever saved does not need to be saved continually on my computer., and my 4 terabyte hard drive on that iMac has limited space boundaries. And so do you. Your closet is a limited space. Your boundaries in your computer are a limited space. Your brain is a limited space. Your body is a limited space. And if you don't do the work to take inventory, to make decisions about what's going to stay or go, or what you're going to lend to someone else, and if you don't make sure that the structure of your life is reinforced and reset for whatever your life is supposed to hold. Listen, you're going to be on that rabbit wheel, hamster wheel, moving through the motions of life, getting dressed every day and wearing the same thing, probably something with holes in it, when there is something in full color waiting for you to remember it or to have room to store it. And you're not going to be able to do that if you don't choose to make space to remember you. It does take some discipline. It does mean making decisions. It does mean choosing what direction are you going in now? What season is it, and what colors am I going to put in my closet? It does mean exercising discernment. What would I choose to keep buying? But God says, nope, in this season I need you to rail red, girl. Get you some Ruby Woo. I hope you get this is not about the yellow dress with flowers. And I hope you get that this is not about cleaning out your closet. It is about choosing to look at your life and realize that you are limited. You are, you are a limited resource. You are operating on limited time. And whatever you're supposed to have in the timeline of your life, girl, you don't have time to waste. You don't. I don't want this to stress you out. I just want it to make you think. I want it— I want this to make you feel responsible for your time. I don't want things to come crashing down in your life simply because you wouldn't pay attention. Pay attention to you. Listen, I love Jesus, I really do, and I love his word, and I love all the things. Y'all, y'all know I teach the Bible. The last video I put up here was a Bible teaching, or two videos ago. But what I really love and what is supposed to be in the timeline of my life which is why I'm here on YouTube and Facebook, why I'm here on Instagram. This is why I write books. This is why I put stuff on social media to keep you encouraged. This is why we have an internship. This is why there's a staff. This is, this is why we do what we do. This is why there is this Sister Circle. This is why there's a membership. This is why all these things exist. Because listen, it's my job to help you Remember you. That's my job. My job is to help you live with intention, to live your life well, and to live your life as little as possible with as little regret as possible. That's my job. My job is to say in very practical ways, what do you need to do to get off the hamster wheel? Because your time is a limited resource. So here's the deal. If you have no idea how to do this, right? There are so many people, so many books, so many things, so many YouTube videos. We have my podcast, we have my, uh, this, this, the YouTube videos every week. That's why all this is here. If at a bare minimum, at a bare minimum, if you will set aside some time every week, it could be 15 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever your life will hold. And here are some things that I want you to do. I want you to find somebody. It doesn't have to be me. You need to find somebody who speaks into your life. It could be their YouTube, it could be their podcast, it could be It could be their book, and you need to make space and time to have somebody remind you of what's important in this world. Yes, go to church, please study your Bible, do that. But I'm saying in a practical way, if you're struggling in motherhood, you follow people like my friend Heather McFadden, Don't Mom Alone. If you are struggling with your mental health, you follow people like, like Dr. Anita, or just in general follow Dr. Anita. If you need more of the word, you follow Dr. Tony Evans, you follow my sister Priscilla Shire. If you need more music that sets the tone for worship in your life, you follow my brother Anthony Evans. There's so many people in my family alone who want to help you to focus in on your spiritual life, your soul. There's so many people in my circle of friends, my friend Shadria being one of them, Riddick. She is awesome, an awesome counselor, an awesome coach. You find somebody who can speak to you through their resources and you make the space for that. And don't apologize for that. Listen to the podcast when you go walking, go to the gym, and read the book while you're on the recumbent bike. Like, make the space. Make the space to journal, think about what's bugging you, think about what, what you're loving. Make the space for you at a minimum. Then if you like hearing my voice, make sure you are here on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, wherever. I'm here all the time just putting out content. If you want to do a deeper, more intentional, structured dive, pick up my book. And this is not a plug for the book, this is the book plug for any book that's helpful. I just know mine is designed for It's designed to help you remember you. If you want to do that in community, join the Inner Circle. We're doing it starting in July. We're doing it together. The method doesn't matter as much, okay? It doesn't matter. What matters is that you decide to be methodical about taking inventory of your life, making decisions about your life, and reinforcing and re— restructuring, um, your life if need be to hold what your life is supposed to hold. Because you are a limited resource and time is ticking. And it doesn't matter if you're 25— my cousin passed away instantly at 38. You don't know how old you are until you know when your last day is supposed to be here. And what I'm trying to tell you is that you are a uniquely and divinely created work of art. And if you don't know and honor and celebrate the girl who you're supposed to be— or the guy, because I know there's some men who are dripping in here on the back end, that's all right— if you don't celebrate who you're supposed to be, then we, the are missing out on the goodness of you. And when God put you here on this earth, he packed you with very specific things, a combination of which nobody else has. There's nobody else past or present or future who will ever be like you. So it's really important for you to stack the deck, for you to show up as you. It's really, really important. And I hope that today, if I have done nothing else but inspire you, motivate you, and challenge you to set aside a few minutes a week or a few minutes a day to pay attention to you, do that. Start somewhere. It's like going out to work out. You don't have to run a marathon today. Go for a 15-minute walk. Start somewhere. And then as you do a little bit, you'll get addicted. You'll get addicted to taking care of the girl in you. This year and last year, we have been hearing about the Great Resignation— people in droves leaving their jobs, deciding that I don't want to work there anymore, I don't want to work with them anymore, I don't want to go into the office anymore. I don't even love doing that. And they've taken the opportunity, some of which came because we were getting checks, some of which came because you, uh, actually had the chance to be at home and you had more time to think about the gift of you in this world. And we have a boatload of people, so many people more than ever before, who said, you know what, I'm out, I'm done, I'm making a change because life is too short. We have had people that have not just made the change because they didn't like their job or because they had time to recognize their purpose, but they also realize that the family member that I had that I love so dearly, their life got cut short. And you know what? If life is short, let me tell you what I'm not going to do every day for 8 to 10 hours with my whole life. I'm not going to do that anymore. And the Great Resignation has caused exactly what I'm talking about. The season of the Great Resignation, it has been a season of people taking inventory and saying, is this what I'm supposed to be doing with my life? Some of y'all on here right now quit your whole job and changed your whole direction. Some people in this season of life, in the last year or two, have taken inventory and made some decisions about what they're going to pull out of the closet. You know what, I always wanted to do that, and I'm going to take this opportunity to make that shift. Some people have totally restructured their whole life. They have hit the reset button, and they have decided that in this season, this season is supposed to hold something different, and I'm going to make changes. And if you can do that with your job job. Do that with your life, because your job is not your life. You do realize that, don't you? Even if you have a career, it's a big piece of it if you do it every day. And I hope you have the opportunity in your life to do something with your life to make money that brings you joy, that fulfills your purpose, or at least funds you in the purpose that you have. Listen, my girlfriend Michelle girl right now has been camping for 4 days in God knows where, and then she's been hiking in the Tennessee mountains, and then she's been hiking in the North Carolina something. She's been sending me pictures of herself swinging in a hammock and, and, and, and, and eating lunch by a waterfall. And she's a nurse. She works 3 days a week, and that life affords her the ability to operate in her gifting. She loves taking care of people. But it gives her 4 days free a week to travel and do what the heck in the world she wants to do. And there's nothing wrong with that. You got to enjoy your life, girl. You got to enjoy it. You want to be fulfilled by it. And it doesn't mean you have to change your career, but it may mean that you have to do a few things to make sure that what's in you gets pulled out of the closet and gets put on display. And here's the wonderful thing: when you realize that putting things on display is not about what people see, it's about what you enjoy. I don't care if y'all like this dress or not. Listen here, I don't care. I do not care. I love this dress. So guess what? When you love what's in your closet and you've taken the time to make sure that what's in your closet you enjoy wearing, any day is a good day to be you. And here's the good news: if you don't like what's in your closet or you don't like what's in your life, any day is a good day to begin doing just that. Like I always any day and every day is a good day to be day one. So if it's your time to have a day one experience in your life, start small. Don't stress yourself out. Set aside time for you. Find resources or people in this world that help you remember to do that. And if you wanna do that in community, I'd love to have you join me in the Inner Circle. And if you can't, It don't matter. Build your own community, start your own book club, get in a small group at your church. There are a lot of ways to put together the closet of your dreams. None of us dress the same, none of us look the same, none of us are wired the same, and there are many different paths to get to the same place though of loving the skin you're in, remembering who God created you to and maximizing your time and your potential in this world. Listen, I would love to know in the comments below, I would love for you to tell me what is in your closet that you need to wear. Like, literally tell me what you need to pull out that you haven't worn in a while that you love. And also figuratively, I would love for you to tell me in the comments as well what is not happening in your closet that should be. Who are you supposed to be? What should you be doing in your life? What activities, what experiences, what things, hobbies, careers, relationships do you need to put in your closet or, or uncover in your closet so that you are enjoying the closet you have? You got to enjoy your life, girl. Make sure your life is fulfilling God's purposes on this planet for you. And here's what I know to be true: he has a plan for you. My mother used to always say that to me, and I believe that from the bottom of my heart. He has a plan for every single one of us. It's our job though, to discover, develop, and deploy the plan. All right, y'all, hope this video has been helpful to you. And if it has, share it, tell a friend, and I'll see you next week.
