Rest for the Weary with Asheritah Ciuciu

Hey y'all, I'm so happy to welcome Asherita Choo Choo to the podcast today. I have seen her over the years, and I didn't realize it was so few years, um, churn out book after book after book. In my head, it's probably been like 10 to 12 years of seeing her name, um, in my email, come across my desk, or we— us being in the same room or having, um, people that we're connected through. And then I realized taking a deeper look that, no, this girl has been releasing books in like 6 years and she's just been putting them out there. She is so— it's so important to her to focus on helping people get closer to Christ. What does it look like to develop an intimacy with God and getting there through a variety of pathways, learning what it is to take him seriously at the gifts that he's given us, at the provisions that he's given us, but for us not to use any of those things as crutches or to ignore, uh, his warnings to us to take the gifts at their face value. So the goal is always intimacy, and I'm happy to have Esharita on the podcast to talk about this today. Welcome and thanks for joining me, Chrystal Hurst.

Thank you so much for having me here. It's my joy to be here.

Well, let's talk about this real briefly. I know that even before we started this podcast, we talked a little bit about your work ethic, and, um, now exactly how How many books in how many years?

Chrystal Hurst, I thought we were recording that whole time. So here we are, 7, I think it was 7 books in 6 years. So yeah, I self-published a few too, but that's just traditionally published with Moody.

Okay. So I always like to ask people before you started on this tear of all these books, did you know you were a writer? Had you dreamed of being a writer? Was this like a life goal?

Yeah, so a bit of backstory. I'm actually a missionary kid. We were in Romania as missionaries to the Roma people for 10 years, and my parents just have an incredible story of how God protected them during communism in Romania, then like extracted them from Romania. It's just a miraculous story. And as we would travel from church to church and my parents would share that story, people would say like, "Oh, someone needs to write— this is like a Hollywood script. Someone needs to write this down." And since as a child, I loved to read. Um, everyone like volunteered me, like, Ashrita is going to grow up and write this book. Um, so in a way, I think it was prophetic, probably people like, you know, just putting that in my heart and in my mind, and perhaps seeing a penchant for words and encouraging that from a young age. Uh, but yeah, I always dreamed of being a, a writer. I thought I would be a single missionary. Writing books like Amy Carmichael. Like, that was my dream.

Well, I know that often our dreams have a path, you know. They— they— we have a thought or we have a vision maybe for where we're gonna go, and then, you know, God writes our story. But it's so funny how he backwards engineers— he backwards engineers sometimes things that we knew but we didn't know how, you know. Like you said, you thought you were going to be single, and here you are married with 3 kids. And then you thought you were going to be, you know, on the mission field, and then here you are— you're still in the mission field, but in a different way. Um, I, I know that one of the things that's really important to you is the ministry One Thing Alone Ministries. Can you tell me a little bit about what that is and what the— how that became an outgrowth of who you are and what you want to put into the world?

Yeah, so One Thing Alone comes from the conversation that Jesus has with Martha. Um, when, you know, she— we all know the story. If you spent any time around church, you know this story, right? You're You're bothered, you're overwhelmed by so many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the better part, and it's not going to be taken away from her. And about 10 years ago, I found myself in this space where I had grown up in church. I, you know, from a young age have loved Jesus and have known His love for me. And as a missionary kid, I've wanted to spend my life in ministry. But I found myself newly graduated, newly married, entering the career field. And just too busy to read my Bible and pray. Um, and it struck me that I have tasted of the Lord's goodness. I know of the, the delight and pleasures that are found in his presence, and yet here I am, um, sleeping in in the morning, rushing to work, and trying to, you know, set our, our home as a, a new wife and soon-to-be mom, and then just hanging out on the couch at nighttime watching Biggest Loser. Like, that was the thing 10 years ago.

I had whole marathons around The Biggest Loser. So my husband traveled a lot and I was home with one daughter at the time. And then we started adding other little kids. She was like 12 when the first of the next set of kids was born. But I had single friends. And so since he was traveling, um, she and I, and I, you know, wanted to cook and I had this house now and all that. So I would cook these big meals. And my daughter would help me, and then I'd have my 2 or 3 single friends over. And this was the thing. It was The Biggest Loser. We would sit there as we ate and watch The Biggest Loser. And once you get addicted, you want—

We were munching on the popcorn. Yeah.

You want, you wanna know who wins, but it's the stories of the— it's, it's a whole thing. And I, you know what, I'll say this and then I won't steal your show any longer. I actually went and did a tryout for The Biggest Loser one time.

Did you really?

And I remember like 3 weeks ago, 3 weeks before, I was like, go ahead and eat more. So that you can have a greater chance. Because like, if I can just get on the show, then I'll lose the weight. Like, it won't be— it won't be hard then. Anyway, this is the biggest loser. These are the things we used to do with our time. But you were— you were busy and, um, not having time for the things that really mattered. And so you realized—

yeah, I mean, that's when it started. And I was pregnant with my daughter that summer. I was just kind of working through like, what What is going on with my heart that I am not prioritizing the things that I know are most important? And then after having her, um, I started this blog on maternity leave. I thought, I'm going to have so much time. I'm not going to be working for 3 months. What am I going to do with myself? So I started this blog, um, called One Thing Alone, that pursuit of the one thing that Jesus said is necessary that won't be taken away from those who pursue time with Him and in His presence. And little did I know that it would actually just become harder as the mom of a newborn. Like, I was so sleep deprived. I would try to sit with my Bible open and read, and Chrystal, I would fall asleep on the page.

You can't help it. All that oxytocin flowing after child, it's like we— you can't physically, you can't stay awake.

You know, that, that first season with One Thing Loned, with the blogging, it really was me just kind of processing, well, what does it look like in this season of busyness, as, you know, first a career woman and a wife, and now as a young mom, to still make time with Jesus my one thing alone. Because I don't want to wait 15, 20 years until the kids leave the house. Like, my soul cannot wait that long to experience joy and delight in God's presence. So we need to figure this out. What does this look like now? And, um, as I wrote and shared, I found that I wasn't the only person. I think that's the other lie the enemy tells us, like, you're the only one, like, you are so spiritually lazy, you can't even read your Bible and pray. Um, and, and we isolate ourselves. But as I started sharing my story and my struggles and my desires, I found literally thousands of women online who were saying, yeah, me too, like, this is my struggle. I, I know this is good for me, I want this, but how do I make it happen? So our, our mission with One Thing Alone Ministries now, Tenzin 10 years later is to help women enjoy Jesus through creative Bible habits, discovering the freedom that comes from engaging with Scripture and approaching God in creative ways that might change from season to season. Uh, but just getting ourselves into His presence, even just for a few minutes, leaves us absolutely changed and transformed. Um, and it's— time with God is always time well spent.

So did you have a template for like the creative ideas? Are these, um, the way you have developed in your walk with the Lord and also communicated what you've learned as you've grown? Do you feel like you've been discipled in that, or that women, other women or other people taught you how to do it, or is this something that you feel like— and I know along the way you pick things up, but I mean, like, by and large, is this an overflow of, here's what I figured out, or it's like, nope, here's what, here's what some of this I figured out, some of these people taught me? Because I think that other part of it is, like you said, the lie is that, you know, we're the only one. But the other part of this is that, that we need to be able to come up with something and we feel overwhelmed that we can't. I mean, so that's why your ministry exists. But how did you get to, um, the overflow that you had with other people, if that makes sense?

Yeah, yeah. Um, I, I would say it's both. So I, you know, grew up in a family where my parents loved Jesus, loved telling other people about Jesus, and so that was just kind of our family culture. Um, but I, I had a very formulaic understanding of what time with God means. Like, I learned how to do inductive Bible study early as a teenager, I, you know, would pull out the concordances. I'd look up words in Greek and Hebrew. Like, I would just geek out on all the things. I went to Bible college and so had a Bible minor, learned how to do like the technical aspect of Bible study, and, and that energized me. Um, so part of my challenge, ironically, was breaking free from a mold or a formula of saying this is the right way, this is the best way to have quiet time with God. And anything less than that falls short. It's somehow less than honoring to God to bring our best to him. So in those early motherhood years, um, it was actually women in my local church who came alongside and encouraged me and prayed for me. One mom in particular, I'll never forget, she, um, opened my eyes to see the parallels between the widow's mite and motherhood, how the widow brought the little that she had, but she gave it all. And Jesus says she gave more than those who, out of their much, you know, gave quantitatively more than the widow, but percentage-wise gave, gave little out of their much. And, um, this, this mom who was about 15 years older than me said, Ashrita, if in your day you only have 5 minutes but you give it to Jesus That is the widow's mite. Like, God honors that. And He's the one who can take the bread and the fish and multiply it to feed your heart and your soul. So don't wait until you have 60 minutes. Don't wait until you have the quiet in your house to do your inductive Bible study. Like, that might not happen for a few years, and it's okay. You can still find other ways to get into God's Word. And, and that gave me permission and freedom. That I think I needed to then pursue, okay, what can this look like? And from that point on, it was just kind of like opening my eyes and ears everywhere. I could hear someone saying like, oh, this is what I do. I leave my Bible out on the counter so that every time I pass by, I can stop and read a verse. Okay, let's try it. Like, I'll try it. I have nothing to lose. Someone else saying like, hey, I listen to the audio Bible while I nurse my baby. I'm like, All right, let's try it. Just having that permission and that freedom and knowing that I'm not disappointing God, but rather He sees my heart desire to want to spend time with Him and that pleases Him. Suddenly it just— it changed everything for me, Chrystal Hurst. And from there it was reading and listening to podcasts and hearing how other moms are doing this and then trying it, incorporating it, sharing it with my community, saying, you know, here are some ideas, try them out. Let's see what what, what works. And at one, at one point I compiled, um, a list of 120 creative ways to connect with God so that when I felt like I was in a rut, I could go to that blog post and, and just kind of read and see, okay, how else can we do this? And, um, that post has had millions of views over the years, and it's, it's so encouraging for me too to know, okay, something that was a struggle in my life God is now using to encourage other people to draw closer to him too.

I want to call that out too. I know on the webpage for One Thing Alone, right at the top it says, "We help women enjoy time with Jesus every day," and there's a yellow button that says, "Send me the guide." So if you are in need of creative ideas, um, there is a whole list for ways to spend quiet time creatively, and it's offered for free on page, so be sure to go to onethingalone.com and check that, check that guide out. You talked about being a Martha and a Mary. So in general in life, do you tend towards Marthaism? Is that a natural bend of yours or?

I feel like I have both.

Yeah.

Um, in, and, and I think both are good. I think we pit Martha against Mary. Um, but, but I don't think that's the moral of the story. A few chapters later, we see Martha inviting Jesus to a dinner party and, um, she serves him well. She serves him from a place of overflow. And so that shows me like Martha got the message and she learned how to live the way God wired her in a way that is in this place of settledness and rest and joy. Um, so, you know, I have so much respect for the Marthas who make the world go round and, um, I would say at my core, I'm probably more of an introvert. Like I lean, you know, toward give me my quiet time and my space and my Bible or like a good novel and a cup of tea. Like that's, that's, uh, yeah, that's probably how I'm hardwired, but I will go through seasons where I'm task-oriented. Um, and I need to watch for just the sharp edges that come out when, when I turn that way.

Well, I think that's the challenge whenever we talk about Martha and Mary, but even when we're talking about rest, because even rest has different faces and different connotations. Like rest for one of my friends means that she takes a nap at least once every weekend. Rest for me means checking the box. Like my whole body relaxes when it's like, oh good. Okay. I was able to get those 2 or 3 things done. Like that is, that is a feeling of rest for me. Um, rest for some people— I mean, I know we talk about Sabbath, but you know, there's even a spectrum about— of thought about what Sabbath actually looks like. And some people, when they think rest, think go on vacation. Well, when you have a family and you're taking your children on vacation, that's not necessarily a restful experience. Like, so we have to qualify, like, what are we talking about when we talk about rest? And, and for people to know that you can still be hardwired for who you are and still walk in rest, that you don't have to be a Mary who sits down at the feet of Jesus without making sure the dinner gets cooked. Like, it doesn't disqualify you if you make sure dinner gets cooked from being a person that has rest in their life.

And I mean, someone has to make the dinner for Jesus and the disciples, right?

So I guess I want to ask to you first, can you— when you're, when you're talking about rest and how, you know, just— excuse me— when you're talking about rest and you're looking at even how you've described it, um, and how you talk about it in your latest book, how do you define it? And then what do you want to communicate to the Martha who, when people start talking about rest, they're just like, yeah, that sounds great, but one, I'm not hardwired that way, or my life doesn't allow me to. Like, what is And how does someone who's not going to naturally lean into it embrace it?

My particular, like, take on rest in, in Prayers of Rest though, is how do we rest in prayer? Um, and so that's just a very, very small segment of what rest can be. And it's because I found myself, even in my prayers, it was like nonstop talking. Like I would, I would come to a time of prayer and just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and be like, okay, God, great talk. And then move on with the doing of it. Right. And we need to be both. Listeners of the Word and doers of the Word. We need to, yes, bring our concerns to the Lord and cast our cares on Him. But, um, in, in the pandemic in 2020, when I found myself just kind of falling apart, um, it, it brought to light the fact that even though I was praying, I wasn't experiencing the rest of Jesus that He describes in Matthew 11. He says in verses 28 to 30, come to me Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. And I thought, here I am, like almost 10 years into ministry, and I am weary and heavy laden. I'm heavy burdened. I feel like I am burnt out. And yet I'm doing all the things like by this point, my kids were sleeping through the night. Point I was consistently in my Bible reading, studying, back to doing the inductive study, back to my prayer lists. I was doing all the things and I wasn't experiencing a soul rest that Jesus is talking about. And that alerted me to like, maybe I'm missing something in how this is supposed to work. Um, because if I'm finding myself burnout and weary and heavy burdened, which I was, Chrystal. I was in a season where I was not giving my family my best because I was giving my best out into the world. And I was still present with my family. Like, I have the privilege of working from home. So I was still here making sandwiches and kissing boo-boos and reading bedtime stories. But it didn't feel like I was fully present because my mind was always thinking about the next problem that needs to be solved, or the next project that needs a title, or how are we going to figure out that thing over there. Um, my soul was not at rest. And, um, what I saw in scripture again and again— and I mean, this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to take a topic and I'm going to go to the Bible and say, okay, what does God say about this? Um, is again and again God's invitation to stillness and quiet is where He offers that rest. Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 70, I think it's 73, says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone." And the Lord brought to mind this acronym. It was one of those rare moments where I was looking at this acronym REST, and I was saying, okay, how might I structure my prayer time? In a way that's restful. Um, and I, I'm a wordsmith, I love acronyms. Uh, the R, I was thinking Recite God's Goodness. Start with adoration. I mean, I grew up with the ACTS prayer model, so this is, you know, it's a great place to start. How has God been good? How has he revealed his character, either in a passage of scripture that you want to pray through, or in the recent season that you're going through? Recite God's goodness. Express your neediness. You know, bring your concerns to the Lord, cast your cares on Him. Again, this is familiar to anyone who's spent time praying. But I would, like I said, just talk and then run away. And so I knew I needed to build in a time of stillness and quiet and just sitting with the Lord to say, okay, Lord, is there anything you want to say to me about this? If we believe that the Holy Spirit is living and active and that He speaks to us through His Word and He speaks to us through the creative nature around us, that we can lift our eyes to the heavens and they declare the glory of God. And He speaks to us through the proclamation of the Word and community. Then we need to create space in our hearts to actually hear God's voice. Because otherwise, if I'm not talking, I have my earbuds in, I'm listening to a podcast, I'm listening to an audiobook, I'm listening to worship music, or my kids are talking to me. That the noise in our lives is nonstop. So if we want to hear God's voice, we need to seek his stillness. And so that became the S in the REST prayer acronym is after you've recited God's goodness and you've expressed your neediness, take some time, even if it's just a minute or two, to quiet your heart, quiet your mind, just sit in God's presence. And say, Lord, I'm here. I want to be with you. Make me more aware of your presence in my life, of your loving kindness toward me. Is there anything you want to say to me in this time? And sometimes, Chrystal Hurst, he'll bring to mind the name of a person that I haven't thought about in months. I'll be like, okay, like, I need to pray for her right now. I don't know what she's going through, but the Lord brought her to mind for a reason. And so I'm going to, I'm going to pray. And I'm going to go back to a place of quiet and, and just be still with the Lord, maybe meditate on that verse that I was reading that prompted me to pray. And then the end of rest is to then trust God's faithfulness. So after I've spent time being still with the Lord, then it's time to say, okay, Lord, all these things that I've brought to you, I entrust them into your hands. I'm going to remind myself that you are faithful, that he who began a good work will be faithful to complete it. And so if I'm worried about about a child's behavior or something at school or something in my church community or finances, or maybe it's the scale is going up again. Why is this happening? You know, whatever it is that's causing anxiety and worry in my heart, I can go through that REST acronym. I can remind myself of what is true about God. I can express my needs to Him. I can spend time being still with Him. And allow Him to speak His truth to my heart. And then I can trust Him to be faithful. And what I found is, you know, this whole thing took me a few minutes to explain, but it can be done in 30 seconds at the kitchen sink when the kids are screaming in the living room. I can take time to say, "God, thank You that You are patient with me as a loving Father. I need patience right now. I'm going to lose it with my kids." Would You please fill me with Your patience and kindness? Take a few deep breaths. Be still with God. Become aware of His presence with you through His Holy Spirit. And then trust Him to be faithful as you go interact with the kids in the living room, that He will help you to be patient and loving and kind as He is. It can be such a short moment of rest, but it's soul rest because we've done what Matthew 11 says, "Come to Me." 'Come to me, come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.' This one practice, Chrystal Hurst, has changed so much for me over the past 2 years. Not that it's all been easy. In fact, in some ways, the last 2 years have been harder than the previous 8 years. But finding moments to just be still, with God, to seek His stillness and His presence, even just 30 seconds or a minute at a time. I'm convinced that's saved my sanity these last 2 years.

Hey there, Chrystal Hurst here, and my voice is almost back, but I didn't want this interview with Asherita to continue without me telling you about a practical way that I have I have prepared for you to be intentional about communicating with God. So starting November 20th, I will be releasing a 3-day prayer walk journey. It's super cool. I literally have put together with the girls on the team, some audio for you to listen to while you walk, and it will carry you through different segments of prayer. So if you're ever like, I don't know what to talk about. You know, after 3 minutes, I don't, I don't know what to say to the Lord, or maybe I just get lost and I don't want to do all the talking. I want to listen. This is super cool. It's going to give you some introductory devotional items to consider, and then it will prompt you for prayer. We got music in the background. It'll carry you for a part of your journey, and then there'll be another prompt. So we are so excited to share this with you. It's actually something that we've provided for our recent retreat. And I thought, you know, it's Thanksgiving. So if you want to start Thanksgiving week with prayer, whether you walk in place, walk in your neighborhood, walk on a treadmill, or walk on a track, I want to encourage you right now to go to ChrystalEvansHurst.com. And right below my picture, you'll see the form to sign up. Now, as soon as you sign up, I've got a special gift I'm going to give you. And then on Monday, Monday, November 20th, the Prayer Walk Journey emails will start to download. And so every day before Thanksgiving, you can give thanks and experience open communication with God. So I want you to know that your intimacy with God matters. And the time that you, uh, that you make, the time that you create to prioritize time with God, it matters. But if you've ever wanted something just to kind of give you a little nudge, Well, this prayer walk journey will totally do it. Again, just go to chrystalevanshurst.com and right below my picture, you can sign up. Now, if you're already on my email list, don't worry. I'll send you an email so that you can opt into this prayer journey too. But if you're not on my email list, then that's how you make sure you get this tool.

All right, y'all.

So without further ado, let me get back to my conversation with Esharitu. You mentioned soul rest, and I know that I know that, like you said, whoops. I know that, like you said, rest is a big topic. And then your focus, um, for Prayers of Rest is the impact of prayer on rest. But when you talk about soul rest, I still wanna revisit that because I don't even think people know how to define it, you know? And so when you have gone through this process of transformation, How do you know you're at rest? What does that look like for you? What does that feel like? What, what is transformed in how you're operating or in the environment that you're cultivating? Because now you know how to maintain that space.

Yeah. Um, I mean, I think the simplest way for me is to contrast it with what I feel like when I'm not at rest. Uh, and so that the, um, there's this anxious buzz that I'm forgetting something, that something is missing, that, um, did I check all the boxes? Like you, Chrystal Hurst, like checking all my boxes gives me a sense of like, whoo, okay, like now I'm okay. Um, but when there's, there's this pervasive buzz of like, what am I missing? What's going to happen next? What's wrong? Like, what am I forgetting? Or what's out of my control? Um, it's kind of this low-level white noise. Um, that's, that's when I know I'm, I'm headed toward the path of weariness and heavy burdens. Um, and so in contrast with that, when, when my soul is at rest, that is quiet in my heart. Um, I, I love the picture of Jesus standing at the helm of the boat and there are waves crashing on the boat. The disciples are like, we're all going to die, this is it. And don't you care? Like, how can you sleep while this is happening? And so Jesus stands up and he looks at the waves, the winds, and he commands them to be still. And immediately this quiet peace settles on the sea to the effect that the disciples say, who is this man? Like, this is no ordinary man. Even the winds and the waves obey him. So Jesus speaking, peace, be still. That is what my soul experiences when I spend time in this restful prayer, when I seek his stillness. Like, that middle portion— the reason seek his stillness is in the middle of that acronym is, Chrystal, honestly, if it was at the end, I would skip it. I'd be like, okay, and we're done. Like, I have more important things to do than just sit here quietly. Um, so knowing myself, I built that stillness in the middle of the REST acronym so that I would take time to be still with Him. And it's like experiencing Jesus speaking over the storms in my heart, in my mind, saying, "Peace, be still." And that's what happens. It's a sense of wellness. It is well with my soul. And so maybe there still are financial troubles, maybe the children still are misbehaving, maybe there still is drama in the church, but in the midst of all of those, there's a sense of stillness and peace in my heart, and I know all will be well.

When we were talking about the Martha and the struggle to find rest, maybe initially for her, you know, I was thinking about, you know, in your story, you launched a bunch of books. You realize this is not the way I wanna live. And you've been making these intentional moves to operate from a place of rest and prayer, coming to Jesus, being the way to do that. As I'm thinking about our conversation and I'm thinking about the question, like I can hear the questions in my head. Yeah, that's great. But like, I'm still responsible for all these things. So I know that, you know, after launching two books, uh, in six months, which is a whole lot. It's a lot to do 2 books in 2 years back to back, much less 2 books in 6 months. Um, you, you said that you took the last 6 months to slow down, to reevaluate, and to rest. And then in April, you totally unplugged and went to Romania for a month. It's like, it was amazing. So whether we're talking about unplugging to go with our family to Romania, or unplugging in the small increments that we prioritize for prayer. There's always something for the person who has that long to-do list, even if those things are bringing her joy, that she's leaving behind in order to break away. Right? So I would love to know what you would say to the woman who's like, I'm for what you're saying. Like, I, I want that. I want intimacy with God. I, I know what scripture you're talking about, you know, come to, come to me all who you are weary and heavy laden, I'll give you rest. I got it, I know it. But every time I put it down, like the white noise that you're talking about that exists when you're not at rest, I carry that noise with me into this space. How do I quiet my mind, my heart? It's like, you know, when you go on vacation and you are You hear people say they come back to work tired from vacation because it takes you so long to unwind. Like, you have to take it off, all of the things that are buzzing around in your head, to get to a point where you can actually experience what you've gone away to get. And then you need time to kind of reenter. So what do you tell the person who's got the white noise happening, or they've got that low-level anxiety, or, you know, the list of things is in their head even as they try to pray? How do you take that off so in the coming to Jesus you actually can experience the exchange of his rest and his way for what is weighing on you every day?

Yeah. Um, well, I'll tell you what I did in October of last year in the fall. Um, after I'd launched the second of the two books back to back, uh, which I do not recommend, by the way, and it was not the plan. Either. Like, that was not the plan. It was just post-pandemic, uh, like, supply chain, supply chain stuff. There literally was not paper to print books. And so it was one of those, like, this isn't what I signed up for, uh, but God, in your mercy, would you, would you work this out for good somehow? Um, so I, I had reached the end of, of those two launches back to back just absolutely depleted. Um, even with those times of prayer, right? Even with those times of rest, there was still the work to be done. And I was out of everything. I was just so depleted. Um, and I went on a prayer walk with a friend from our local church. Um, you'll hear me say this time and time again, like, I— the local church is what God has gifted in our lives that we might serve one another and speak truth into one another's lives. And so I'm a big fan of like, take those problems to the people who know you. Um, and you know, Instagram influencers are great, and I have an online ministry as well, so I'm grateful that, that people find, yeah, um, value in that. But it will not replace face-to-face relationships. Um, and if you don't have those relationships, then pray for them. That's, that's all I'm gonna say on that aside. Um, and so God brought this other woman in my life. We were going for a prayer walk, and I just told her, I'm like, Julie, I'm, I'm spent. I'm done. I'm ready to quit everything and just go be a barista and make coffee for people. Like, that sounds like a dream right now. Can we just do that? Um, and she walked me through this practical exercise. She said, Asher, now everything in your life and ministry is in a shoebox. All your writing, the podcasting, the speaking, your family, your relationships, everything is in a shoebox. Now take the lid off, take everything out of the shoebox. Look at that empty shoebox and, and in prayer with the Lord, take each thing one by one and hold it before the Lord and say, Lord, does this go back into the shoebox for this next year?

Mm-hmm.

And as you do that prayerful evaluation, you will find good things that you're carrying over from previous seasons, and it's time to put an end to them, to say, "This was good for this season, but it's time to take a break. It's time to step away. It's time to give that to someone else." And only put back into that shoebox whatever you feel the Lord saying, "This is yours for this season." The Lord will not give you more than you can carry, um, as far as his yoke and his burden, right? Like, he— there will be circumstances in life that are too much for us because they cause us to find refuge in the Lord. They, they make us run to him in that sense. But as far as responsibilities that he's given us to do, work that he's given us to do, if we are maxed out, it means that we have said yes to things that are not from And that was where I'd found myself. So trying to put things back into the shoebox one by one. And as I actually unpacked that shoebox, I sent a picture to a few friends and they're like, "Asherita, this is insane. Like, how are you doing all of these things?" And Chrystal Hurst, I don't know that I've like actually shared this on an interview before. I think it was an issue of pride in my heart. Like, I'm the person who's good at doing this. 'And so I'm going to keep doing that. I'm the person who is well known for excellence in this area. And so I'm going to keep doing that.' And this exercise of looking at the shoebox and prayerfully saying, 'Lord, what do you want to go back in?' was so humbling to realize how much I was carrying. And I was exhausted, not because those burdens were from the Lord, because his yoke is easy and his burden is light. And he invites us to step into the yoke with him. Him so that he shoulders the burden as we walk alongside him, but because my cart, so to speak, my shoebox was filled with other things. So that would be my practical encouragement that I received from, from a mentor in my life. Take everything out of your shoebox and hold it up one by one. Marriage, that's going back in, right? That is for life. Uh, you know, your, your family, your relationships, those are— I, I heard an episode you did, Chrystal Hurst, like, those are pillars. Those are staying there. Those are—

that's what I was thinking as you were talking. I was like, this sounds like pillars.

Yeah, exactly. Um, but, but then keep looking at the other things that are outside the shoebox. It might be time for you to hand that Bible study leadership to someone else. Maybe God is calling someone else to lead that, that Bible study. Um, and not that it was a bad thing that you did it for 15 years, uh, maybe it's not yours to do in this season. Prayerfully consider, Lord, what, what might I hand off? Um, maybe, you know, it's a season to slow down with extracurricular activities for your family. Maybe your family needs more time together in quiet space. Only you and the Lord can decide that. But if you're finding yourself in a space where you're maxed out, where your shoebox— what, what I realized when I sent pictures to my friends of like my, my shoebox on paper. Um, they're like, Asherita, this is the work of 2 or 3 people. Um, I was working at like 160% capacity. No wonder I was exhausted all the time. But I took pride in the fact that I'm the person who does this all. But my heart was not in a place of rest and quiet. So saying no to some of those things that have not gone back into the shoebox in this season. Our theme for our ministry this year is "slowing down and streamlining," and so a lot of good things are not happening anymore, and I'm trusting that God is using other people to do those things so that my heart can be in a place of rest. And I'm finally at maybe 60% capacity in my shoebox so that I can leave margin for God's Spirit to bring new things.

In my life.

Like, I was so maxed out, there was no room for him to do anything else. Um, so yeah, rest. I, I hope that's helpful for someone. If you feel yourself like, okay, that's all good, but what's practical? Put it on paper. Pray with someone in your local church. Take a few weeks or months to talk through these commitments with other people. Ask your husband's opinion. Ask your children's opinion on some of the things that you're doing. Um, and you will find wise counsel in the body of Christ for how to slow down and and get that rest in your life.

That is so good. You are, um, good at inviting other people into your journey. And I know that when you, when you were thinking, okay, I'm struggling with this, I know I'm not the only one struggling. Um, you invited your community online to join you for a live prayer call each morning on Instagram. And so lots of women tuned into that. Um, It was 8 weeks of daily prayer calls. Um, do you feel like you are naturally wired? I'm back to that, naturally wired to invite people into the authentic parts of your struggle. Is it a, um, a mountain for you to climb over or hill to go, okay, let me get geared up to say Because leading people through the land that you are blazing, the path that you're blazing for yourself the first time through— I'm, I'm a person who tends to do that, but I'm amazed at how many people don't because they don't want to share their struggle until they figured it out, or they don't want to, um, let other people see what the challenges are until they have an acronym, right, to put down on paper. I mean, like, until I'm the expert. Like you mentioned pride, and so pride go the other way where I actually can acknowledge my struggle, I can say the Lord wants me to fix it, but I don't really want to help anyone else until I'm helped. And so I'm curious if you're just wired for that, um, and, and whether you are or not, what do you Do you struggle with imposter syndrome? And what do you do when that crops up? Because I think coming to Jesus is such a straightforward thing to do. It's what his word tells us to do. And I think often the answers are straightforward, but we don't acknowledge that we're having a struggle. So we miss it. And a part of that is just saying, hey, you know, I could do better here. I'm struggling here. I need to figure this out. So is that a part of your design? And what do you do when these people are going to know that I wrote all these books and Bible studies and have these websites? You know, I'm struggling here.

Yeah, that's such a good question. I don't know if I'm naturally wired that way, Chrystal. I— hopefully you can hear me okay. My neighbor decided now's a good time to mow the lawn. So hopefully this is still coming through. I got some advice. Place early on in ministry when I was trying to, you know, okay, I'm gonna write, what am I gonna write about? Um, and it was actually Chris Fabry, um, he has a radio ministry. He said, write from your place of pain where God met you and is bringing healing, because when you write from that authentic place, people will identify and say, that, that is what I'm feeling. Um, and that's what I heard with my first book, Fool. I can't tell you how many emails I get every week still with women who read the first 3 chapters and they're like, "Asherida, it was like you had a camera in my kitchen. It was like you were reading my journal. Like, how do you know?" And it's because I wanted to open up my heart and say, not that I have all the answers, like we talked off camera about this a little bit, that, you know, this journey toward food freedom, I'm still on the journey. I don't have it all figured out. But I want to share what I'm learning and in the active process of learning in the hopes that that is helpful for someone. But I also want to offer this caveat. There are some topics and some areas that are sensitive, that are still in the process of healing, that are not meant for public sharing yet. And the day may come when I write about these things. The day may come when I open up that part of my heart. Um, but whether it's because other people are involved and it would hurt them to share about it right now, or because there's still such deep hurt in my heart that God needs to do work on that, um, there, there are topics where, you know, people have asked me to share about things and I'm like, that, that's not my story to tell right now. That, that's not something that I'm ready to teach on because God is still teaching me. So So this sounds like such a Sunday school answer, Chrystal Hurst. Like, it comes back to prayer. It comes back to bringing this to the Lord and saying, okay, this thing you're teaching me, is this meant to be shared with other people for their encouragement, for their edification, that we might journey together? Or is this thing something that you want to walk with me privately, that you want me to experience your healing and your power? Work in such a personal, private way that it's not meant to be shared with anyone else yet. Because we live in a society with Instagram and TikTok and YouTube where it's like we, we want to share everything that's going on, we want to share everything that God is doing, but oftentimes we only share it one inch deep, um, and it doesn't do anyone any good really. So let's be willing to go deep into those places that God is walking with us and teaching us, because this is meant for other people to come in and join the journey. Um, but also consider in prayer if there are things that are not meant to be shared yet because God is still at work in that area of your life.

So good, so very good. Quiet Time for Busy Women: Walking with God, Bible and Breakfast, Uncovering the Love of Jesus. He is enough. Full: Food, Jesus, and the Battle for Satisfaction. There are so many materials that you've already put into the world, and all of them out of your own journey to Jesus. And I'm so grateful that you're willing to share your journey and to share, in this particular, your latest work, Prayers of Rest, so that we can know what it is to bring bring all of our concerns to Jesus. And I love the visual illustration of the box. Just dump it all out, like acknowledge that it's all in there, but then be willing to hold each thing up one at a time and ask him, is this supposed to go in my box? Am I supposed to carry this? Because he carries burdens differently than we do. He carries his load differently than we do. And as his word says, we can learn from asking him Thanks so much for being willing to share your life and your lessons learned as you live. And thanks so much again, Asherita, for joining me on the podcast.

Chrystal Hurst, thank you so much for having me here. It's, it's been my joy to share with you today.