Rise: Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Good evening. I always love to be in a room with women on a Friday night because you are either so glad that the week is over, almost, you are happy that you left work, to come here, or you're happy that you left your kids to be here. There's usually some kind of happiness rolling in here from somewhere. I am happy to be here with you tonight, and I want to always acknowledge my family who allows me to come and be with you. I was up last night after midnight working on an Algebra 2 problem with my 15-year-old son. And then this morning when he called me because he still had questions, I said, "Call the 1-800 number." We homeschool, and I was like, "Call the 1-800 number. They gotta help you. I gotta go.

I've had enough." I'm glad to be with you.

I would rather be with you here tonight than working on Algebra 2. I think I've got a picture of my family that they're gonna put up there, and I wanna tell you a little bit about them 'cause I may use them as illustrations. My husband and I, we've been married for 17 years. We have 2 adult girls, 26 and 22. The 26-year-old is married. She and her husband in this picture were not married. The 3 boys are 15, 13, and 9. Now I know the numbers don't add up. I'll get to that a little bit later. It's alright. But I want to tell you that in this picture, my oldest daughter Charis was dating Josh. So my husband is the one with the 3 boys around him. And the younger gentleman on the end, that's Josh. And at the time they were talking about how in love they were and how they were gonna, you know, get married. And I was like, that's great. I hope you make it. I actually like you a lot, Josh. But they had a little photography hobby business going. And I said, yeah, can you take our family photo? There's only one thing. We're gonna take one with you in it. And one with you not in it, because if y'all don't make it, I still need a good family photo. But they did make it, and we had an agreement about, a talk about how long they were gonna wait to have kids, because I just, you know, I'm only 27, so I needed to get used to having the mother-in-love thing going on before we added grandmother to it. I just wanted to know, like, how long are y'all gonna give me?

And he—

they said, you know, 2 to 3 years. And then like before the first year was over, y'all can put the next slide up. That's what they went and did. Now they've done it twice.

I got to get a picture of the other one up there.

But I also a grandmother of a 2-year-old and a 7-month-old, little girl and little boy. I will tell you, I'm, I'm taking my time with my grandmother name because I'm just gonna let her work it out. We're just gonna work it out, but we have to work it out soon, because the other day I went to Grandparents Day. It was very surreal, 'cause as I walked up to the building and I kinda looked around at everybody else, I was like, either something's wrong with my eyes, or I look like them and I don't know it. 'Cause I was like, I just don't, you know how sometimes life seasons get ahead of where you feel like you are, you know what I mean? And so anyway, I walked in and, you know, "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round" was playing, and I was thinking, I just stopped listening to this song. I just, I have a 9-year-old, I just stopped listening to this song. So anyway, she was trying to show me something. My granddaughter's name is Ellie. And while all the other kids were calling out, "Nana, Mimi, Gigi, Granny," she said, "Questo." So, we're gonna fix it. We're gonna fix it soon. But I wanna thank my husband who is keeping my kids alive. I don't ask any questions. I don't wanna know what you ate. You coulda had cereal 3 times, the same variety. Are you breathing when I get home? Is the house still standing? Wonderful job, hub. So, I wanna thank him for letting me be with you tonight. I love this theme that you have this year for your conference, Rise, because if there's something we can always do and always work to do better, it is indeed to rise. God is always calling us to a higher place. But I have to be honest and tell you that sometimes our ability to rise, our ability to stand up, our ability to move forward can be hindered by small things. Small things that often we are not attentive to, or we have dismissed, or we have decided they don't matter, and because we don't want to deal with them, they just sit there and they fester, and they seem like they're so small and insignificant, except You don't realize how big of a problem those small things are until you try to rise and stand on your own two feet. Over a year ago, I called my doctor and said, "My toe hurts." He said, "Well, come see me." I said, "Okay." So I went and saw him and he looked at my foot and he said, "It looks fine to me." I said, "Okay." He said, "You probably stubbed it or something and forgot." So I kept moving through my life and it kept hurting and it actually started hurting a little worse and so I called a podiatrist. I found a podiatrist and I said, "Can you look at my foot?" And he looked at it and he said, "Yeah, I kinda see what you're saying. It's a little red but I don't really see anything that is major and, you know, maybe you had this or that and the other happen. I'm not really worried about it." And I went on a couple of months and then it kept getting worse and it changed the shoes I was in and it changed how often I wanted to be on my feet. So I went, and got another podiatrist to look at my foot, and he said, "I actually agree with the first two doctors and what they said, but because you're still hurting, because it is keeping you from rising up and doing what you need to do in this life, doing what you want to do, I'm gonna take an X-ray." So, let me tell you something. If the doctor takes an X-ray, and when he's looking at the screen, and as he's looking out the screen, he takes his phone out of his back pocket and takes a picture of your X-ray, it ain't good. It ain't good.

When he turned the screen around so that I could see it, I did not have to be a doctor to see what he saw.

In my big toe, where there should have been a full bone, half of it was missing. Bone just not there.

So then the questions ensue. Where have you been? What have you done?

Did you get a pedicure recently? I was like, nobody has touched this toe in a long time 'cause it's been hurting. And he said, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but you're probably gonna have to lose your toe. So, he sent me to another doctor 'cause he said it's gotta be for these 3 reasons, and this doctor can tell you which reason it is. Went to the next doctor. He agreed with the first doctor. You're probably gonna lose your toe. He said, but what it is, it's not for me to deal with, it's for another doctor to deal with. And he sent me to another doctor.

Has anybody done the doctor hop?

I just want to know, has anybody done the doctor hop?

Have you ever sat in there and said, did you go to school? Did you? Because I thought you'd be able to diagnose me, and I'm not getting—

I just want to know if it was just me. So I went to the other doctor, and he actually said, I I think I can help you to keep your toe, but you have a tumor in your toe. It's not cancerous, but it is eating away at the bone. How long have you noticed the pain?

I said, well, it's been a second, 'cause it didn't start out major. And he said, well, let me rephrase this for you.

How long did you ignore the little pain that you had? Let me tell you something. There are small things in your life that you get up with every day and you ignore it. You ignore the twinge of sin. You ignore the pain of your circumstances or your past. You ignore it. And what you don't realize is that in your ignoring the little thing, it is keeping you from rising up.

Rising up to be who God created you to be. Rising up to do what he wants you to do. Rising up to be bold in your circumstances and to believe believe with a mustard seed faith for the impossible, those little things are getting in the way.

And I wanna talk to you really briefly tonight about this one small thing that most of us girls have. Not all, but most of us do.

It is a little thing that we don't really talk much about in church. It is a little thing that we kinda don't dismiss as a real sin, but let me tell you something.

It is a little thing that if you do not deal with it, it will eat away at the core of who you are. And it's a little thing that you don't really think will shift your foundation, but until one day you try to stand and rise up to what God has called you to do, and then you realize it's not working like it's supposed to, then you'll know that what I'm about to talk to you about is true. I was in our church, uh, 19 years ago, and I stood about right here Yeah, about right here. I was in a mint green dress with some flowers in my hand, smiling, because that's what you do when you're a bridesmaid. Again. And I was biting my lip here to keep me from feeling the pain here. And I watched the bride as she came down the aisle.

Smiling.

You know how we do.

Hahaha.

And then she got to the bottom of the aisle and we were directed to the screens where there was a photo slideshow of a father and a daughter. 'Shown to the tune of Butterfly Kisses.' And as I looked at my sister standing next to my dad, all I could think was, 'That's my song.' And there was this battle raging in me that says, 'Why?' her? Why not me? You have to understand, I am compared to Priscilla all the time. So one day I asked her, because I was just curious, "Have you ever compared yourself to me?" And she said, Are you serious?

You have to understand, she got married 2 years before I do.

Then 6 months before my first son was born, her first son was born. Then 6 months before her second son was born, my second son was born.

And then 6 weeks before my third son was born, her— and so people would say by the third one, Priscilla's pregnant, you gonna do it again too?

And inevitably, it's gonna happen tonight. I'm gonna tell you right now, it's okay. It's okay. Somebody's gonna come up to the book table, and as they look over the books on the table, they're gonna say, "You know what? I need you to tell your sister her Bible studies have really blessed me." This—

and I'm not— somebody's gonna say, "And Carol, you blessed me tonight too." So I asked her, has anybody ever compared you to me? And she said, are you kidding me?

She said, I've been comparing myself to you my whole life. So when we were in school and I was the girl who, typical firstborn, you tell me I can make 100 plus the 10 bonus points, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. So when Priscilla came along, the teachers looked at her and said, we loved your sister. We just know that you're gonna be an exemplary student just like she was.

Until the day that they called my dad and said, Dr.

Evans, we need you to come to the school and help us out because Priscilla got in trouble for something. And this is in the day when the paddle is what happened to you when you didn't do right. And so she was supposed to get something, a lick or two or three, and they said, we need you to come to the school because, um, She was supposed to get a lick and she ran out the class and now she's running around the building and we can't catch her. We laugh about it, but that's what we girls do. We just, we do it out loud or we do it in our heads. We do it in our gut. And here's the problem with comparison. It's a little thing that doesn't get a whole lot of big sin play. But it's this little thing that if you're not careful, and if you don't deal with it, it will eat away at the core of who you are. In Genesis, if you have your Bible, like a real one with pages, you can open it up. I'm not down on the digital Bible, I was just saying sometimes you just wanna hear the leaf turn, the leaves of the pages turn. So if you have it, turn your Bibles to Genesis chapter 29, verse 16. And if you've got the Bible app, YouVersion, Bible Gateway, whatever, push it in and pray that the Wi-Fi— see, that's why you need a Bible, 'cause sometimes the Wi-Fi, you're trying to follow along and the Wi-Fi won't let you.

It won't let you into the Word.

It says, "Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah and the name of the younger was Rachel. And Leah's eyes were weak and Rachel was beautiful of form and face." Now Jacob loved Rachel, so he said, "I will serve you 7 years for your younger daughter Rachel." So he served for 7 years, verse 20 says. And then when it came time for them to get married, verse 23, Laban gave his daughter Leah to Jacob. And it says, "And Jacob went into her.

And it came about in the morning," verse 25 says, "that behold, it was Leah." I feel like somebody needs to preach a whole sermon just on that phrase alone. You mean to tell me you were with that girl a whole night? Anybody ever get stumped on that one?

I just wanted to make sure it wasn't me. And then he says, "What is this you have done to me?" I wonder if Leah heard that. "Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why have you deceived me?" So he said, "You're gonna work another 7 years for my other daughter." And he said, "Okay." I'll do it, 'cause I love her. Verse 31, the Lord saw that Leah was unloved and he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Let me tell you why you compare. You compare yourself because of your history. It says in verse 16 and 17 that Leah's eyes were weak. The New Living Translation says that her eyes had no sparkle, that her eyesight, the CEV version says it wasn't that great. The Message says she had, nice eyes. Let me tell you what they're all trying to say that they're not just saying: she was ugly.

Because it juxtaposes Leah's looks against her sister's, and Rachel was beautiful, not just of form but also in her face. She had it going on, brick house in the house.

So this is Leah and Rachel, and if this is what the Bible is saying, this means they grow up grew up with one being the pretty one and one being the one that wasn't so much. We compare ourselves because of our history. That in your past, there's somebody or a situation or someone that's a peer or someone that is ahead of you that you have either compared yourself to or someone has compared you to them your whole life. I wish you could have been like your sister.

I wish you could be like so-and-so's daughter over there. Look at her, she's so smart.

She has a lot going for her. You'll never be doing what she's doing. And in your history, there are voices from your past that have compared you with other people from your life, and that history follows you. Or it's because of your hurt.

When Jacob said to Laban, "What is this that you have done to me?" I'm almost certain Leah heard that, and if she didn't hear it, she felt it. When he woke up the next morning and said, "What is this?" How does it feel to be the girl who your daddy had to trick the man that loved your sister into being with you?

So, when he disses you, when he says, "You were a mistake," when he says, "I actually don't want you, I want her," that hurt will set you up for comparison.

'Cause what does she have that I don't?

Okay, another tell the truth, shame the devil moment. Have you ever been walking in a Walmart parking lot and seen that guy with that girl?

No shade on that girl, I'm just saying that girl is with that guy, and you just are looking at him, and he's usually built, you know, works out. She might not.

Am I the only one that's ever just wondered What did she do to get him?

And God forbid that you're single, because then you're going, am I worse? Am I— am I that bad? Am I— hmm.

Hurt will make you compare. What does she have that I don't? Why does she have what I want? When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, in verse 31, he opened up her womb. And then it's the series of verses where Leah's having babies. She's having boys, and every time she says, now my husband will love me, verse 32. Then in verse 33, now The Lord has heard that I'm unloved.

He's given me a son to fix this. Verse 34, I'm not even looking for love anymore. Now, the New American Standard Version says, now my husband will become attached to me. He'll just, he'll just like being around.

And then in verse 35, she says, with the birth of the fourth son, this time I'm gonna praise the Lord. She's trying to be happy.

Maybe if I can achieve this, check this off, have more of this, experience more success, have more education, get more money, get skinnier, have better clothes, have a better car, all of these different things, if I can just achieve the next thing, then maybe that'll be enough for me to measure up to her.

Your history, your hurt, or your desire for happiness. It'll set you up to compare. It'll be this little nagging thing that you can ignore most of the time, and you'll feel it rise up when you see the Walmart lady, and then you'll push it back down. You might see it rise up when she walks in with that purse, but you'll push it back down. It'll rise up a little bit 'cause you love your friend, but she's been in a great relationship with a great guy and you have to listen to all the wonderfulness about the relationship. And it'll rise up and you'll push it back down. Not thinking that it has any effect on your ability to stand. But it does. For Leah and Rachel both in this chapter. It sends these girls on a trip of competition, not able to appreciate what they have.

Rachel had the love of Jacob, Leah had his children, and they are both in competition to get what the other one possesses, missing what they have in front of them. Them. Many of you know this passage, but for those of you who don't, I'll fast forward it for you.

These two women are the mothers, either by birth or through their handmaidens, through, uh, a form of adoption of the 12 tribes of Israel, the 12 boys who formed the foundation of the Israelite nation. 2 of them came from Rachel, and the rest of them came from Leah and the handmaidens. Rachel had his love, but she died giving birth to the second baby. Leah did not have his love. But when she was buried, she was buried next to him. See, sometimes you really don't want what she has. You think you do. You think you want to wear her shoes because they look cute, but you have no idea the amount of pain she's in walking around in those red bottoms in front of you. See, that's why I'm not tripping. Converse for me. Plus my big toe feels better in them. Praise the Lord, it's still on. Thank you, Jesus. Listen, comparison will kill you because it will keep you from rising up to what God has for you. Leah kept looking as she had babies. "Will he love me now?" Baby number 2.

"Will he love me now?" Baby number 3.

"Maybe he'll just like me." And then with baby number 4, she says, "This time, I will praise the Lord. You wanna know what the cure for comparison is? Stop looking that way. Stop looking that way and look up. And I'm not trying to be spiritual or, you know, give you an oversimplified answer, But the truth of the matter is, is that when you are looking too far to the right or too far to the left, you are missing the life that he is offering to you. And there is nothing better for you than the life he has planned for you.

While you are busy being jealous of someone else, God is jealous for you. He wants your time. He wants your attention. He wants you looking up at him because it is through gazing at him, through his word, through your time with him, through relationship, that the power of God rises up in you. And when the power of God rises up in you, guess who else rises with it? You do. But if you are allowing the small thing— let me call it sin because that's what it is. It is a sin to say that the creator of the universe who calls me by name, who knows the number of hairs on my head, who knows how I'm coming and how I'm going, that that person who gave me life, I don't want the life he gave me. That is dissatisfaction and ungratefulness. That is sin.

Yes, God.

Yes, God.

And I know what some of you are thinking, "But I can't help it.

It just kinda rises up. It's kind of a feeling. It's kind of a thing.

I don't mean to.

It's just there. So, what do I do about it?" It's all about your perspective.

I'm gonna give you some very, very are practical things to do about it because I am a practical kind of girl who would always sit at the feet of Tony Evans who was dropping deep theological biblical truths and I'd be like, but how do you actually do that?

You know what I mean? Like, I get all the scripture quotin' and all that, but I need you to spell it out for me. I'm a little slow, just a little bit.

And he would always shake his head and go, you always ask so many questions. 'Cause I'm tryna figure out how this works. In Ephesians chapter 2, there's a verse that says, we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. I'm gonna read that again a little slower. For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. You were created by him for the purpose of doing good work in Christ Jesus.

And these works, the things that are, you are created to do, these works were created for you beforehand that you could walk in the way that has been created for you. Now you need to understand that for you are his workmanship comes after a series of verses in Ephesians chapter 2 that tells you what you were before you were created in his likeness, before you were worked together for his good purposes. Where were you before that? You were dead in your trespasses and sins.

But God, verse 4, being rich in mercy because of his great love with which he loved us—

love is there twice because love is a noun, it's how he feels about you, but it's also a verb, it's what he's willing to do for you. You were dead, but he was rich in his mercy and he loved you with an everlasting love.

So even when you were dead, verse 5, he made you alive and he raised you up with him and seated you in heavenly places. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift. The fact that you are saved, that you have access to heaven and eternity and the power of God in your life, it is a, gift, not because of what you've done, 'cause he doesn't want you to be able to boast about it, verse 9.

Why?

Because you are his workmanship. You are his workmanship. Let me tell you something.

No matter how bad it is for you tonight, no matter what you left at your job, no matter what you left in your home, no matter what you left the last time with the doctor's report, no matter how bad it is, let me let you on a little I'm gonna tell you a secret right here, right now. You ready for it? This is deep.

This is deep. You ready? You're alive. You're alive. Which means not only are you not dead, but you're not dead. You are alive because you can inhale and exhale, which means that until he says your time here is up, that you have an opportunity to continue to illustrate what it is that he created you for. If you believe on Jesus Christ as the reason for your ability to even have a relationship with God, that God does not look at you and see your sin, but he looks at you and sees the blood of Jesus who was perfect, who gave his life for your sins to cover you from the wrath of God.

When you believe that, when you believe on Jesus Christ, that you are saved from total separation from God forever, then not only are you alive, but you're alive. And everything that you do as you work out your salvation, the Bible says, as you show yourself to be a workman, to be his work, to be created in his image, as you do that, that everything that you do doesn't just count for being alive here, it counts when you're alive there. How does that—

what does that have to do with comparison?

Because if I believe that the reason why he has me here still breathing is that there is some work that I'm created to do, that he considers me being alive here still worth me being alive here to do it. I don't have time to be bothered with trying to keep up with you. I have to be bothered only with what He has created for me to do. It also changes your perspective, because if I really, really am grateful that I'm not dead, I don't have time, nor do I have the energy to be concerned with what you're doing with your alive. I gotta be worried about my alive.

My cousin Winter, 38 years old, her and her husband just celebrated a 15-year anniversary. 4 girls, 14, 11, and twins that are 9 years old. We were together for July the 4th. They sold their home in Dallas He got a job in Nashville. They left us, drove to Nashville. She showed her girls the home, so excited about it. They left Nashville, drove to see their family in Iowa, his family.

They came back to Dallas.

She was living out of a suitcase to take their kids to camp. For the week that her kids were in camp, they were gonna go back to Nashville and move in. They got back to Dallas on a Sunday, and on a Tuesday, her heart stopped.

Stopped.

Just stopped. There are so many amazing things, and when I talk about my cousin Winter, I'm not talking about a cousin around the way in the few states over and I saw her every— I'm talking about like a sister cousin. Anybody have a sister cousin? There's so many amazing things that we've talked about during the time of her passing, after her passing. One of the things that she and I used to joke about, 'cause I didn't understand how a girl who loved to nap all the time. You know, there are people in life who believe that napping is their ministry. It is their— You know what I mean? Like some people just, they can't make it without a nap. She was one of those kind of, just, she was just, every day she had to have a nap. I didn't understand. But in the last 5 years, I would joke and say, "Winter, I don't get it. I don't nap." In fact, I burn the midnight oil and get up early. Like I'm that kind of extraterrestrial productive kind of, I just like doing stuff. I've written 1.5 books. You've written 8. I don't understand that. When she died, the day she died, she was finishing up the last 2,000 words of a book called I Am Yours. The day she died, her husband signed the release on a book they wrote together that will be released next year about marriage. There are 2 more after that. And I would ask her, "How is it that you've been able to accomplish so much in such a short period of time?" She said, "You know, I was in a house." asking God why it seemed like everybody else around me was able to accomplish and had things that I wanted. And I was frustrated because I had these 4 small kids at home and I'd been to college to get a degree for what? And I didn't even know what I wanted to do. And I was overwhelmed and frustrated.

I was sick of being broke.

I was just— and the Lord said to me, you are missing your life. She was in the bed laying down trying to take a nap, and she said the Lord impressed upon her heart, and she could hear her kids in the living room with her husband. You're in the bed crying about what you don't have, but you're missing your life. What if what I want to give you comes from you engaging in the life I've already given? She has 4 girls. And she put on her wall the scripture, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." She remembers distinctly having that moment. And from that moment on, of course, not perfectly, none of us do it perfectly, but she had that on a wall and she kept saying, "I'm gonna quit doing this and I'm gonna look up." And I'm gonna delight myself in him and what he's given to me. And all of her books are about mothering girls. Once she decided to look at what he'd given her to work out in her life, then things started to make sense. And she was so on fire to do what he put in her heart to do, she didn't have time anymore to be concerned with what everybody else was doing. So when we look at Wynter's life, oh, we, we see the for she was created in his image, and he had a work for her to do.

It's very clear.

But it came because she said, "You know what? God has given me a life, and if I waste that life looking at everybody else's, then I'm not honoring the life he's given me." Listen, we recognize that we are unique creatures. We are, we have fingerprints that are unique. We don't expect to find anybody in this room that has a fingerprint like ours. We know that we also have other physical ways in which we are unique. Your tongue, the pattern on your tongue, no one has that but you. Mission: Impossible, you ever seen Tom Cruise stand in front of the security wall and he had popped somebody else's eyeballs in his skull? And the little machine, zzz, you know, we're scanning his eyes. That's because there's a pattern on the back of your retina that no one else has. Even down to the size and shape and the depth of your ear canal, your ear, all of the swirls, the measurements, and the depth, no one has your ear.

We accept the fact that we are uniquely and wonderfully made. Psalm 139 says, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Fearfully and wonderfully made on the outside. But do you know that just like we expect and we hope that our babies come home from the hospital with 10 fingers and 10 toes, and we know that on the outside this baby comes as a starter package, but we have to nurture it and develop it. If you take that baby home and don't feed it, hold it, nurture it, it will die. You were given a starter package of a soul. There is no one on this earth that has the unique combination of gifts, abilities, interests, and nature or personality that you have. Nobody has the container of your soul. And when you take your starter soul and you look at the experiences that you've lived through, the things that have impacted that container, that have filled it up or that have drained it dry, nobody has your soul. And so while you're busy looking at everybody else and wanting their family, or their husband, or their jobs, or their house, or their financial situation, or their hair, or their purse.

God is looking at you and saying, "Girl, if you don't do you, who will?" If you're too busy comparing yourself to her and to her and to her and to her, you will never get around to doing you. And when you realize, as Ephesians 2 says, that you were dead, and because of the power of Christ, you're alive and you're alive. And that the clock is ticking, then it changes the way you might feel about getting to the business of being you. So real quick, what are you gonna do when those feelings rise up and you don't want them to, but they do? Celebrate. Give thanks. Listen, everybody else— everybody get gratitude journals and, you know, give your 5 affirmative statements in the mirror every morning. Like, even the people who don't believe in Jesus get this.

If you want to fix what's wrong in your life, focus on what's right.

What has God done for you lately?

Are you rehearsing that? Are you giving thanks for that? Because it will redirect your perspective from the ends to the middle and to say, Lord, I'm looking at you and I'm grateful. This is not what I want it to be, but I'm grateful for what it is today. Thank you for the progress that I'm making. Thank you for what I'm learning. I may have failed yesterday, but I have another opportunity today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Choose to celebrate because celebration is the way you mark the moments of your life.

There's a reason why God told the Israelites, create an altar, celebrate, give thanksgiving, because he knew that that's how they would remember his goodness. And if you don't intentionally remember his goodness, you will see all the other things that are driving you crazy, and they will change the way you live and keep you from rising up. A joyful heart, Proverbs 15:13 says, makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. There is a physiological connection between what you think, how you feel, and what you do. So give thanks. Choose freedom.

Do you.

Do you. I, 4 years ago, not since, ran a marathon. I ran the marathon and I ran right through the finish line and kept running, running right into Cracker Barrel.

Mama's pancake breakfast, please.

Extra pecans. Scrambled eggs with cheese, thank you very much. Yes, still bring the biscuits, thank you.

But I'll never forget one of the most demotivating moments in that race.

It was so hard, but then it was just extra hard because it rained and it was just whatever. But when I'm running, or doing what I think is running, and the walker lady passes me, That's demotivating. But here's what she said to me: Run your race, girl.

Run your race.

The way you do it is gonna look different. It is. But if you let the fact that somebody is running differently than you, may have more gear, may have more experience, may even move a little faster, if you let that keep you from running, you don't get the medal. When I finished, I got a medal. And they didn't ask me how long it took me.

They just said, "Did you finish? Did you finish?" When you get to heaven, God's not gonna say, "Uh, you know, tell me all the reasons why you couldn't make it." He's gonna just say, "I wanna say well done. Give me a reason to say it. Did you finish? Did you do what I asked you to do?" And your race is not going to look like hers. She's not married to your husband. She doesn't have your health challenges. She doesn't have your Your history. So, stop trying to make her life your life. It's not going to be the same. So, run your race.

Third, choose honesty. Right now, I have a safety pin right now holding a belt loop together that busted the other day. 'Cause sometimes that's what happens to the favorite pants that you wear all the time. I have another pair of pants I got from Old Navy. It's the sweetheart cut. They were a size 12, and I was rushing to get to the airport and raised my foot really high to get in the SUV, and I just decided to walk through the airport like that rip was supposed to be there 'cause I didn't wanna miss my flight.

Got to the next city, found an Old Navy, and bought a size 14. You just gotta keep going.

But most of us spend all of our time trying to hide our tears. And hiding our tears keeps us from getting what we need. Stop pretending that it doesn't hurt. Stop pretending that you don't feel it. Be honest about what you need so you can get dressed in new clothes that fit you for where you are right now.

Be honest. Wearing the mask, it may feel comfortable, but it only hurts you.

And choose community. How do you beat comparison? Be grateful. Decide that you're gonna have to run your race the way you're gonna run it. Be honest about the stuff that hurts. Be honest, 'cause if you're jealous about it, it's probably because it's something that you want. Be honest about that. Be honest, he knows anyway, the Lord knows anyway. Just be honest. And then lastly, choose community. So Venus and Serena, y'all, this is before Serena was arguing back and forth with the umpire, but I still love her, y'all. I still love her. But I was like, Serena, stop, stop, Serena. Like, it's all just stop. But there's this documentary about Venus and Serena on Netflix. You should watch it. It's great. I've watched it like 3 times. And it just shows the progression of their dad teaching them and all the things. And so it gets to one of the competitions, the first time Serena beat Venus, and they asked Venus, "How does it feel that your sister beat you?" And Venus looked up and she said, "Hmm, it doesn't feel good to lose, but here's the thing, we both have the last name Williams." when she wins, we both win. Listen, some of us are running from community because we just don't want people to know us like that. We don't wanna have that kind of accountability. We don't wanna be that vulnerable. But here's the thing, when you find community, when she wins, you win.

Because when it's her turn for you to cheer her on, even though if there's a little twinge of something that whatever's going on right for her isn't going on right for you, When it's your turn, it flips.

We're supposed to be here for each other.

A part of us beating comparison is not comparing to each other because we're too busy being in community.

So if you're running from community, you're probably feeding the little thing 'cause it keeps you in isolation and keeps you pointing at what you don't have. Listen, you want to rise up? You need to understand that you are carrying precious cargo. I was driving down the street on the way home from a long trip, stopped at a red light, closed my eyes for a second, or at least it was a second, I thought, until the police officer rapped on the window and woke me up, and he said, "How long have you been here?" I said, "I don't know, just for a second." He said, "Well, it's more than a second because it's long enough for a few people to have called down to the police station, long enough for me to have gotten here, and for us to have heard that there's a lady who's either drunk or dead stopped at the light. Who's in the car with you?" I said, "My husband, my kids, they're asleep." And he said, "I need you to wake up. You are carrying precious cargo." Comparison. It's a little thing, and it may be trying to rise up and get your attention every now and then. I need you to wake up. I need you to deal with it, because if you do not, you are putting at risk the precious cargo that God placed in you.

You are his workmanship. He did not waste his image for nothing. He put it on you. What are you doing with the life that you have, with the breath that you you have, what you are dissatisfied with. Choose instead to give him thanks. Choose instead to be honest. Choose instead to run your race. Choose instead to be in community and realize that when you do, that you are setting yourself up to be the girl who walks into heaven thankful that she made it because she was dead in her sins. She was on her way to hell and God gave his blood so that you could live and not just live here, to live there. Not waste your time here, but to have time there and to walk into his presence and have the opportunity to hear him say, "Well done." Do you want to hear him say, "Well done"? Then stop ignoring that little thing and choose to deal with it so that you can indeed rise up and be who he created you to be. Listen, I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna get up, get off.

A lot of you won't do this. Because you just don't believe that whatever you were supposed to do, whoever you were supposed to be, that that girl even has a chance of coming back. You think that your train has long since gone. That is not true. That is what the devil would have you to believe. Jessica was in the, the, the, the, the, the tube in the back of her house. She had fallen down a well shaft. Many of you remember watching this in the '80s. I'm telling my age, but that's okay. It was on CNN. And she fell down the well shaft. And because she was alive, they worked hard to get her. Because she was still crying, it was a good sound because that meant she was still alive.

Because she was singing nursery rhymes, people came in from all corners of the town, all corners of the city, all corners of the state to help them get this girl out. Because it didn't matter that she was 6 feet under. It didn't matter that she was down in the dark. It didn't matter that she was having a rough time. What mattered is that she was still alive and she was worth the work of the rescue. And then when they would say, "Jessica, can you hear me?" Yes. They would say, "She's still there. Keep working to get her out." "Jessica, are you crying? It's okay, baby. You know what? She's crying. That's good. She's still there. We're going to work to get her out." So what you have to do is learn to tell yourself when you are 6 feet under, when you feel like it's dark and there is no way to recover your situation, when you don't understand how God is going to get you out of the mess you have gotten yourself in, you got to learn to say to yourself, girl, you You still here. You still here. You are worth the work of the rescue. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to tell the person that is next to you, pick a side, girl, you're still here. Tell her. Turn to the other side. Tell the girl, girl, you're still here. Stretch your neck, turn to the person behind you and say, girl, you're still here. Now I want you to take your hand, put it on your heart, and tell yourself, girl, you're still here.