S 2 Episode 1.1: Shundria Riddick and Wynter Pitts Discuss Finding Purpose in the Mundane

Okay, so I want to welcome you back to another episode of the Sister Circle Show, and I am here with Winter, my cousin Winter Pitts, and my great good friend Shandria Riddick. So both of y'all have a lot going on. You have a lot going on because you've got kids, you work, you have, uh, projects that you have. So, um, I want to just take a minute and have you share like what is in your wheelhouse. Like when you think about what's going on in your life, what's going on? Like what is filling your days and keeping you busy? I'll start with you, Wynter. Go.

Wow.

Cause you have to have something going on cause you don't answer the phone when I call.

This is because I'm a wonderful mother and wife and my family is priority. And so I leave my phone in my car.

Do you really leave it in the car?

Oh girl.

Oh, so just don't answer it. So you're a writer.

Yes.

You're a speaker.

Yes.

You're a magazine. What are you, the founder?

Founder. The founder and publisher, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. You're the publisher of a magazine and your magazine just got real, like not you designing it, but somebody else is designing it.

We just stepped out.

You just stepped out. Yes.

Did a whole new rebranding and it like has official magazine language, like masthead.

Yeah. I don't even know what that is.

Exactly.

So this is a magazine you started for your girls because there was nothing out there for them to look at and then that you felt was safe and then you just made it and then you got other people to subscribe and now you've got like over 1,000 people that get it every week.

Wow.

And now in this, so we, Um, so yeah, I just started it. And so I'm not a magazine person, but I did— not even that there wasn't anything that was safe, but just safe and appropriate, like, for that age, like 6 to 12 was the thing. And Chandra, you know, your daughter has been in it and wrote for us for a little while. And I was doing all that, just designing it myself. But moms, I think, were hungry for that sort of material, so they were subscribing. And, um, right before we did the relaunch, we were at about 1,500 subscribers and all like different countries and everything. We're like, wow. And now we just printed 10,000.

So that's crazy.

It is crazy. And it just, it's been like, for real, just a faith, just kind of watching God because I literally just started a little booklet because Alina needed something. Like, I just was like, this little girl can read everything. And she is not interested in any of the baby stuff. And she was like 6. So it's like, what is there for her to read that I feel like is not boyfriend quizzes and all about fashion and all these just superficial, some, you know, just things like even Christian things that just weren't for a 6-year-old. And so I just was doing it. I just called friends. I was like, hey, friends like Shandria, like, you have a daughter too. Can she write? Can you write? You know, like, who can send me something? Anyway, so now I'm like watching it and like just watching what God has done has really— because we literally, Jonathan and I both are just like, we can't take any credit. Even the team that we have now, that has kind of helped us take it to the next— they literally have just— we were just in a conversation with somebody one day and they said, oh, I know somebody that used to be a magazine rep.

You haven't been striving or trying to create or running a conference or trying to meet people. It's just the next step keeps making itself.

So when we saw the official proof of the rebranded, like for real magazine, it was like, is that my— is this still mine? Like, did I?

Yeah.

Anyway.

That's great, Wynter.

Don't do it.

What am I doing?

I just feel it happening. I feel it happening as we speak. Okay, so go ahead. I'm going to address it though, but go ahead. I'm just thinking that's great. No, no, no, I know, but go ahead and tell everybody what you're doing.

Not that.

I'm not doing that. But your days are full.

My days are full. I have 3 kids, a 17-year-old, 16-year-old, and 11-year-old. My 17-year-old is graduating high school.

Baby Joshua.

Oh my gosh.

The baby we prayed for.

Yes, we prayed him here. We prayed him here. Now he's leaving and we're taking him to New York in a couple of weeks to drop him off. And I know—

in a couple of weeks to drop him off?

June 30th.

Am I getting ready to go get y'all some tissue?

No, we're coming back. We're recovering. Yes, yes, yes.

So yeah, and, um, so I have a 16-year-old and she's busy with orchestra, so— and my 11-year-old He don't know what he wants to do with his life. So we just, we're doing soccer and basketball and all the sports and just being a mom and working. I'm a licensed counselor, so seeing clients and working in a high school and dealing with teenagers every day.

You're an author too.

I am an author. Yes.

What's the name of your book?

Married for 5 Minutes.

Okay.

If you have not listened to Shandria's episode, it's number 160, 2, I think. Well, it's 163. So chrystalevanshurst.com/163. You need to listen to that episode where we talked about lies we believe about our emotions because I've had so much feedback. I even was taking screenshots and sending them to you of people talking about how great that podcast episode was. You should listen to it because I know you don't listen to the stuff unless I tell you to, but that's okay.

That's because I'm busy being a good mom.

I'm busy being a good mom too. Anyway, so, okay, so the reason why I asked what you guys were doing is because I had a direction with this and then I have another direction as well. So the first reason is, is because I think that one of the main things people ask about is just balance, like keeping it all together, like making room for everything, whether that be time with God, time with your kids, being a good mom, time for yourself, whatever. But before we get to that, here's the other question that popped up in my mind. I remember you sharing with me, Wynter, when my daughter moved into the house that y'all had lived in before, and there was something that she found in a closet. And I want you to talk about what she found and why that was meaningful to you.

You should have prepared me for that.

No.

She found a scripture that I had written up on, and I— See, she should prepare me so I remember what scripture was. I think it is Psalm 37. Delight yourself in the Lord, your desire is your rest. Yes, that's it. And I had written that on the closet in that house because that was a season when I was home full-time with 4 kids. They were probably all under the age of 5 at the time, like when I wrote that. And I just was trying to delight myself in the Lord. Just felt like, God, what are you doing with my life? Like, I've missed it because I'm here raising these kids. Like, what is it? You know, like, so help me just enjoy being a mom because that's all I got right now. Like, that's— and that was a big, um, just a walk. And at the time, all I could think of in my mind, I'm like, delight myself in the Lord because you're gonna give me like 5 minutes of peace because these babies are gonna sleep. Or, you know, it was these selfish like things. Um, and I didn't know how— I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but all I knew is— if I can just read it, because I didn't feel it. I wasn't feeling it, so I just put it on my closet wall and just would just go in there and just read it. And that was how I delighted myself in the Lord in that season, was just reading that scripture, like doing that. And now it's funny when Charis found that on the wall, because it was probably just a couple months later that I started doing just this little booklet for Girls Like You. And now 7 years later, she finds that on the wall, and that is just delight myself in the Lord. He'll give you, you know, the desires of your heart. Anyway, so it just was this moment, it was just a moment of just being present with what God has given me right now, like at my hands. I didn't see it at the time, but when I just surrendered to that moment, that's where he grew everything else that he was gonna do from.

And I mean, I'm not trying to be over-spiritual, but the other day when you sent us the email that talked about, "Look, I have a real magazine, you know, it's 7 years of me putting together this little book," and I was like, you know, 7 is the year of completion.

7, yes.

But I remember when you shared that story about Charis finding that scripture and just the thing that you did that was right in front of you and how you weren't working towards any of it, but God did what he did. And like you said, y'all haven't been really— that's— this is what— not what you were aiming for. You were just doing something, solving the problem that was in front of you. And so many women say that because they can't see what's 7 years ahead, they're so discouraged right now. Just, you know, whether that's the 5 minutes by themselves or whatever, they're so discouraged. And so now looking back, you can say, okay, it was good for me to be present. It was good for me to solve the problem right in front of me because God was doing something for the 7 years later me that I couldn't see in the right now me. Which then I'm going to put you on the spot. You're like, don't do it. I'm not going to be bad. Okay. But, um, Shandria, so you're working, you mentioned you kind of breezed by it, but you're working in the school system as a counselor and you like being available. To the babies, to the high school babies.

Yes, I do.

And being available to help them. But what's your dream?

Oh wow. Um, writing. My dream is writing, having a great book.

Which you do have a great book.

I do. I'm just saying, you know.

Yes.

Yeah. Just writing and counseling in there a little bit, but writing. Yes. That's what I want to do.

And I think it's interesting because because I know both of you, I know that, I know the season that you're in and I know the season that you're in and it's like at the, at each end of the 7, you know what I'm saying? It's at each end of the 7. What, what would you say if you had to describe the feeling? Cause we're going to watch this 7 years from now. We're going to watch it 7 years from now and we're going to be able to look back and see where you were and where God was taking you. That's what we're gonna be able to see. I was gonna say that.

Okay.

But tell me, how do you feel knowing what you want to do, but you're not able to do it or not doing it the way you want to do it? Like, what is the current feeling about that?

Um, I think the most intense feeling most of the time is that I don't— I thought I was supposed to be somewhere, you know, and you're like, I know I'm supposed to be doing something. But this isn't it. So that's the thing. I know I'm supposed to be doing something. I love what I do. I love this place.

I really do.

I love being with the kids, and I love them so much. You know, I love spending time with my kids, but I think it's like, gosh, I know, because there's something inside of me that's saying, mm-hmm, this isn't it. Not that I don't like where I am. I love it, but I think that's the most overwhelming feeling. Like, where— when am I gonna find the time? Because my time is so consumed with all the other things. If I know this is not it and I know what I want to do, how am I going to do that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that's so interesting because you love what you do. Mm-hmm. And it's not that you didn't love your babies. So you can be in a season where you actually like what you're doing, love what you're doing, and still have the feeling like, isn't there more though? Yeah. Like I want something.

Something about like, just got, it's like a burden of purpose. Like it's a burden of purpose that you just can't— I might've stole that from my husband.

He is deep.

He is deep. But just this burden of purpose. And I think at the time I felt it and thought I had to, I had to get past what I was in so that I could get to it. And now kind of, and I'm sure there'll be next 7 years, you know, of whatever else that next burden is. But I'm gonna sit right here for a minute cause I'm like, Oh, like, this is— thank you, Lord. Um, but just feel like I had to get past— and it's just funny to me that it was— I couldn't get past that. Like, that was a part of it. Like, that was so birth— like, just that burden that I was feeling and feeling like I needed to get over here to be doing it. Like, I need to get rid of this so that I can get here to do it. And God's just like, actually, just be there, like, with the burden that you're feeling in your heart. Like, just to be there. And then slowly he starts to, you know, but I remember that feeling, just like, I know that I, you know, and feel like I even wrote one time in like a journal, I literally like, I remember having, I was nursing both twins. And so I, you know, had them. Yes. And then Katie, my middle baby, would suck her fingers. And so I have a picture because she's on like one ear, like rubbing ear and sucking fingers. That was her thing. And Lena's just kind of dangling off. The side or whatever. So it was just a mess. And I remember that feeling of just sitting there being like, greatness passed me. Like, greatness just went right past me. This is not— what can happen now? You know, kind of like, what, like, what can happen now? Like, I'm— anyway, I'm gonna be in a minivan for the rest of my life. Like, that's what it just felt like. And, um, anyway, so being able to look now just in that little time frame and see what God was doing and growing in me and even just learning about contentment and being fully satisfied in him because that's the only way that you can be satisfied in anything else anyway, you know? So just that whole process of going through that was just, yeah, I just—

So if you in essence could say something to the 7 years ago you, or let's reframe that and say if you right now could say something to the, to the Shandria person, cause there's a lot of people. No, cause, and here's the reality because this, And we see it. We have the Facebook group. We have the— we do the online Bible study with she's still there. People email me. That is the question. There's a burden of purpose. There's something. I don't even know what it is that I want to be doing, or I know what it is and I can't get to it. And I just am going to the job or I'm just raising the kids. I'm just doing the things that are— it's not that I don't love them. Sometimes you don't, but sometimes you do, but you still feel an unrest. What would you say? So say whatever you would say. Say it to Shandria.

To me. It feels like I can't say it cause I'm like, she's the wise one.

She's the counselor.

You gonna look at me and be like, girl, that's how I feel.

Oh, she might cause she'll look at me all the time and be like, girl, shut up. Right. That's what I'm asking you to do.

Right.

This is for a shoot. Not to Shandria, but what I would say is—

I'm sitting here going—

Right. No. Um, what I think about like, Seriously, in that what got me through or what I started to do in that time is scripture that we like— I remember teaching the kids, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength," like, and really asking myself in this moment, what does loving the Lord your God look like with all of me? Like, what does that look like? And at the time it was— it looked like playing with my kids and it looked like changing diapers and it looks like that's how I was loving God, like, in those moments of hard times. And so just remembering that, like, That's the, you know, the greatest commandment, and love your neighbor like yourself. Like, loving the Lord your God with all your heart, like, that's where I had to focus my— I couldn't change my details or my circumstance, and I couldn't get out of or get past, but the only thing that I could do was love the Lord my God with all my heart, like, and really working towards loving him through, through every detail of life. Um, and so that's a process, but I feel like that is just how I put it. And I was just— I did love the Lord my God with all my heart and all the messiness. Like literally the diapers, like it was the messiness and just loving him through all of that. Like, Sikhi first, like that was it. And then anything else he just did. I was loving him. Like that literally is my testimony. I was just loving him.

What does loving him practically look like for you right now? Not, not, not like the long list of things, but like if you were to think of the, I kind of know I should be doing this, or I've been working at doing this. What does that look like for you now?

For me right now, it looks like, um, this is so bad because I feel like my tendency is to strive towards the bigger and the next. And for me, it is the not striving. It is the, the literally, like, I'm just doing, like, I literally still think about anything that I'm doing. I'm doing it for my, my kids. Like, I'm just doing it for which for me, that was the loving the Lord, was through my loving them and serving them and making sure that I'm creating the environment that they need for him to be able to use them. So for me, loving the Lord my God is that. I'm still just, I'm serving him by raising my kids to love him and to know him. That's just it. So anything I feel like I wanna be doing bigger, I just come back to that place. Literally, it's around my dinner table. —like, and that's messy and loud and I don't want to be there normally. But that's still the, you know, that's still the place that I invest in fully is just right with my kids.

And that's not always easy. What does loving God look like for you right now? First thing that comes to mind. Don't think too hard.

Okay. Right now it is showing the love of the Lord to the kids that I work with every day, really. Holding their hands, hugging on them, loving on them. And also, like Werner said, just trying to make sure my kids, you know, loving the Lord through, you know, for them really being an example for them and being a mama sometimes that they don't like, you know, but—

Don't hurt them, girl. Yes.

But yeah, yeah, it's the same, you know, just loving the kids at school because a lot of them, you know, And I think that that part has been the gift. You know, even though I know that there's other purpose, there's this thing that's inside of me. For some reason, I'm very thankful of the place that I am now because I do get to love people that may not know what the love of the Lord means and what it is. And it's not that I sit down and talk Jesus all day. I'm just showing them, hugging on them, loving on them, rubbing their heads, rubbing their backs, making sure they're okay. So that part I love. You know, so yeah, that's loving the Lord.

Yeah.