S 2 Episode 12: Sopha Rush

Hey y'all, welcome to another episode of the Sister Circle, and I'm so excited to have Sopha Rush here with me. Now I put the emphasis on there to make sure I got it right.

Yes.

Did I say it right?

You did amazing.

Sopha Rush. Sopha Rush. Sopha, not Sopa, not sofa, because that's what you're gonna want to say when you see the spelling of her name. It's Sopha, and we were just sitting here having a conversation about the the origin of her name. And I was looking at her a little crazy because I was trying to figure, I was trying to reconcile her culture, her race with what she was saying. So you are Blasian. Blasian.

Yes.

Isn't she beautiful?

Y'all.

Anyway, I found out about Sopha because she on Instagram, I've had multiple friends of mine either point me to your Instagram page because you have a beautiful family. Um, and or another Instagram page, which is Live Deeply Rooted, where she encourages other women, and I was really, um, and then I found out you're here in Dallas, and I was really encouraged to have you on because we're the same age. We are. She's 27, I'm 27. It takes 27-year-olds to make the world go round.

Yes.

But, um, I'm just really impressed with you and your awareness of who you are, what you want to portray, who you want to serve, and your diligence to serve them. And so first of all, let's, let's talk about your personal Instagram page. So I can't do what you do. Like, it, it really bothers me. I can't do the whole, the whole, uh, what do you call the thing, the, the, um, where you put your pictures, a thing on your pictures to make them all look a certain way? See, I don't even know. Hold on, it's the, it's a, it's the thing That colors your pictures.

Color scheme.

Yes, but you don't put a filter?

Filter, yes.

Okay.

I created my own filter.

See, I can't do that either, but your page is beautiful.

Thank you.

Okay, so how much effort is it? Because everybody sees beautiful Instagram feeds and they're like attracted to them. How much work is that to have an Instagram feed that looks like the kind of Instagram feed everybody wants to have?

It used to be a lot of work, but because I know my style and I know what I like— obviously if you look at my page, you know my favorite color is yellow and orange, so— because that makes me happy, like when I see the color, it just brightens up my whole day. But so it made things a lot easier because I have a color scheme now, but, um, and then also creating a filter helped me. So once I take a picture, I just throw the filter on, it's done. So it's pretty simple. It doesn't require a lot.

But you have pictures that are like, like posed. I mean, it's like you running and you're like, haha, you know, laughing and all of that. Who's taking those pictures?

Friends, my husband. My husband is an Instagram husband. So he's—

what does that mean when you say Instagram husband?

It means that he's mostly behind the camera. So he takes our photos or I use a tripod.

You have a tripod husband as well? Yes, tripod husband. Yeah, those are the bomb.

They're awesome. And, you know, I used to make excuses all the time, like, I don't ever have content, I don't ever have pictures. But I was like, you know what, you have a camera, you have a tripod, you have a husband, so just, you know, just take it.

So, okay, so are you intentional about setting— I mean, are you just catching yourself, oh, we are dressed today, so I'm gonna grab some photos? Or you're like, no, it's time for me to batch my pro— like, what is your—

both. So this month I encourage myself to take a photo a day. So even if it's just something super basic where I'm in the kitchen with my son and I'm unloading the dishwasher, I'm going to set the tripod up, take a picture. So that's been my goal for April, and I've been doing great. Um, but normally it's just random.

No, I feel gold coming on. I'm like, oh, do I need to set my tripod up every day?

Yeah, it's super simple too, and it's just like, this is things I do every day. But you look—

your everyday look is is 27. Mine is homeschool mom of 3 boys still at home, 5 total, t-shirt, yoga pants.

No, I literally am in sweats in one picture I took this week. My hair is in a ponytail.

It's not the same.

I'm just saying, I don't put— I don't have to put makeup on. The filter helps.

The filter helps. Okay, so let's talk about your family. Yeah, um, your husband, y'all have been married for almost 3 years. Almost 3 years. So you're still almost newlyweds.

Yes.

And you have?

One child.

One child, who is?

9 months.

Boy, girl?

Boy. Harlem Rush.

Harlem Rush. That name will do something to you. Why Harlem?

I don't know. We were— I was in Africa serving on a mission trip for the whole summer, and we were just on the phone, and I was like, oh, I love these names. And so 5 years later, we were— I backtracked, and I was like, Harlem, remember Harlem? And he's like, I like that name.

Harlem Rush. I mean, that is like—

Harlem Xavier Rush. Oh, yes. So people call him X-Man or Xane. So he's got a lot of names.

Okay, so let's, let's back up to this Instagram conversation with now what people know about your family. So one of the criticisms about social media in general, Instagram because it's so visual, is that people are living these filtered lives.— and can't, you know, people can't keep up with that, but everybody's wanting to. So they're like, oh, cute family. Oh, cute baby. Oh, you know, oh, the filter, everything. And so people are working hard to present their Instagram lives or Insta lives, like one of my friends said. So how do you combat the reality that you want to make things beautiful, but the other side of that, which is the work that you put in to keep this consistent presentation up?

Yeah, I think for me, it is, it has been a lot of work, definitely trying to make sure that it is cohesive. I love cohesive. Being a creative is hard work because every, in my mind, I have an image of like, this is my artwork. And so Instagram is my art, like this is my portfolio. So when people look at it, I'm like, oh, this is my family. But behind those filtered photos, I I try to keep it as real as possible. So if you go down and read some of my captions, it's— I share like things in marriage that my husband and I have struggled with, things that we've overcome, motherhood. And even though these pictures are beautiful, I am like crying behind these pictures sometimes. So I share those tears, I share my frustrations, I share, you know, when I've had mastitis 4 times. Like, it's beautiful, motherhood is beautiful, but it's been painful too. So behind those filter pictures. I'm very— I love to just be transparent and share those.

So the story is real, the life is real. Yes. The pictures are the art.

Yes. Yeah.

Okay.

That's how I see it anyway.

I can get with that. I was just telling my boys, we're doing history and in one of our books with some battle, some battle and whatever in Europe or something with opium and the Treaty of Nanjing or something. This is what we've been doing in my life. But the book that we had had art. And I was explaining to them the role of art in history. And the art does not always present something beautiful. It's just presenting the reality. It's a beautiful presentation of something real. And I think that's what you're saying.

You're being—

it's beautiful presentation, but it's not necessarily just to talk about beauty or present beauty. It's to talk about real. And I think that that's important. I think that, you know, for people who are trying to figure out what to share, how to share it, stressing out about whether or not they have the filter. I think the most important thing is real, and then it blesses you for it to be art. See, it would stress me for it to be art. One day I may find a filter that I— I mean, I mean, I can edit pictures. I just edit based on how I feel that day, not with any consistency. So maybe one day I'll figure that out. But for me, it's stressful. So I just put real out there. And, uh, but I really enjoy looking at your feed, and I'm glad to hear that you're not caught up in the whole, yeah, keep it all perfect, because because that messes a lot of people up.

Well, I used to. I'm not gonna say that I didn't, to be honest. I have struggled with like it being perfect and having like these perfect images as well, but lately I just been, I just can't, I can't get caught up in it because, you know, it's not real life. Yeah. I want to make sure my house and my ministry at home is real, and you know, we are honest with ourselves and we are transparent besides just like this perfect life.

Sometimes my husband be like, because when we get into it, he's like, he's like, you was just over here praising me on Instagram, but then you back here like, I know, I know, baby, beautiful about my husband on Instagram, and he'll come out and be like, well, that was nice, I wish I could actually feel that for me.

Right, he's like, so, so is this how you really feel?

Because you over here, this is how I really feel, you just caught me in an irritated minute, so just, you know, whatever, this is it.

I'm like, no, that's real, I promise.

So I, so you are passionately in pursuit of— and I love how you just use the phrase your ministry in your home, because there are a lot of people, they don't talk about the ministry of home and the importance of the ministry of home. Yeah. So I'm happy to hear in your season of life that you get that. But just in general, just from talking to you on camera, off camera, I I clearly get and understand that you're passionate really about your relationship with Christ and even how you and your husband came to Dallas. What brought you here was ministry, the opportunity for ministry. You just mentioned being on a missions trip and— okay, so were you raised in a Christian home?

I was not.

Okay, so I didn't think so.

I grew up Baptist— or Buddhist, I'm sorry. I used to go to Baptist church. But my grandma was Buddhist because we're Asian. And so that was different, going to temples and having to like bow down and worship something. I don't know what I was doing. I just knew—

but you did it. I didn't find it because what you knew.

Yeah, right. What everyone did. And so, but then my grandma converted when I was— wow. Yeah, I know, crazy, because that don't happen. It doesn't happen very often.

Yeah.

But she converted when I was around— when I was 8 years old. And she became a Christian. And she was—

now, were y'all all here in Chicago? You were? Okay, so you were raised here. So your mother's Cambodian, or Cambodian and Thai, and Thai, that you were raised here? Okay.

So my mom and my grandma and, um, my uncle, they were refugees in Cambodia, and there was a war going on, the Khmer Rouge. And so they came— they were able to come to America because they got, um, they got picked out refugee camps to come here.

So, okay, so you grew up— but you said you didn't grow up Christian, but your grandmother converted when you were 8. So then what happened after that?

Well, my mom really— my mom wasn't a believer, and so my dad passed away when I was young, so I didn't really have like role models. But when my grandma converted, she would go to church, but we would go to services and we didn't really understand the language. There was a lot of language barriers. So I knew about Jesus, but I just thought he was just some white man who lived and roamed the streets. That's literally how I pictured who Jesus was.

Well, because that's a lot of the pictures that we see.

Yeah, that's what's portrayed. But yeah, I don't know. I just, I didn't really grow up knowing Jesus. I just had these people would come, they would be dressed in button-ups, and the women would be in skirts, and they would knock on our door and invite us to come to church.. And so I would go because they would feed us. We would get on a school bus and they would take us to Indiana, Hammond, Indiana, and take us to this big Baptist church, feed us, and take us home. So it was a long—

And us meaning your whole family?

Some of my siblings.

It would be like— So the kids?

Yeah, just the kids in the neighborhood. They would— it would be an hour drive and they would take us on this bus and they would feed us like fried rice and some like— depends on what service you went to, but I went to the Asian service, so they would feed us fried rice. Yeah, and it was just I don't know, it was kind of cool, but I didn't really— I wasn't really invested in the Jesus part. They were feeding me.

Yes, and it was fun and fellowship.

So yeah.

Okay, so how did you come to know Christ then?

Yeah, so after my dad passed away, he passed away when I was 5, and so my mom really couldn't take care of us, and so she kind of like split us up, and so I ended up staying with our social worker and my siblings.

How many siblings are there?

I have 6 siblings. Or 5.

So you're one of 6. Where are you in the lineup?

I am the third oldest.

Okay.

Yeah. So my mom, she started young. She started with my brother. She was 13 when she had him. Yeah. So she had me when she was 17. And so when my dad passed away, my mom, that was, he was our source of income. So we didn't really, we were poor. And so—

I'm sorry. I got all the people's voices in my head right now. Your mom was 13. Mm-hmm. How was she 13 and then having 6 kids?

She just had them like year after year.

But I mean, when did she— were they married? Were your parents married?

No.

Okay. But they were here and they— but it's like all 6 kids, same 2 parents?

No.

Okay.

My dad passed. My dad committed suicide when I was 5. And so when he passed away, my mom, married my stepfather, I guess.

Okay. Yeah.

And then he actually just passed away. But I have a half sister. But I don't know how—

See, before we even get to the Jesus part—

I know, there's just a lot going on.

No, but this is so great because, you know, some people disqualify, you know, you know, I've talked about people and how they understand how God sees them.

Yeah.

And so much of how we see ourselves comes from where we come from. Um, and, and they assume somebody, you know, some people watch and they assume, okay, Sopha is beautiful. Oh, she has a cute little family and she is set up for things to be right in her life.

Yeah.

But the more you talk and I'm sitting here going, okay, so now wait, it's like, okay, someone can identify with sometimes what you see is not because there was a setup at all.

Oh yeah.

Okay, so keep going about how you came to— how many kids?

Yes, okay, so after my mom split us all up because she couldn't take care of us, we ended up like just being—

You were with a social worker?

Yeah, I was with a social worker for a couple years, and then my mom finally like got it together, got a job, and was able to get us an apartment, so we all were able to move back together. Okay. But it was like we had— we jumped from house to house to house, like we couldn't pay rent every month, so we was like moving to a different place. It I was like, this is crazy. So finally my mom ended up sending my brother away to a children's home. So he was the first one to go, my little brother. And then it was like every year she sent one of us after the other. So I was the last one to go.

And, um, now why was she sending— she brought y'all all back together. So now why was— okay. I think it's just a lot.

My brother, my oldest brother ended up getting in the streets and my mom was trying to save him. So she, was trying to send him to the children's home.

She's doing the best she could.

Yes, but he didn't want to go, so she sent him. My little brother was like, "I'll go," not knowing where he was going, so she ended up sending him, and he loved it, and we would get updates of him, like, going to Colorado skiing and riding horses.

You were like, "This is fun!" Yeah!

And then my mom— "Send me away, mother, send me away!" So she ended up sending my older sister, because she was like, "I want to go," and then my other little sister, you know, was just kind of just roaming, and so my mom's like, I'm gonna than her. And then the year after that, I ended up moving in with my friend because I was taking 2 buses to get home.

Now how old were you at this point?

I was 12.

And you moved out of your mom's house and in with a friend?

Yes, I was 11 when I ended up moving with my friend. So I lived with them for about a year.

Okay.

And then they were gonna be moving away and my mom didn't want me to go. So she ended up like picking me up from school one day and was like trying to like, "Oh, we're gonna have a great day." And then the next morning woke me up and was like, I'm sending you away. Because she thought I was gonna run away. So I didn't have no clothes, nothing. I literally was like, I hid in the bathroom, I cried, and I was just like, I can't believe you about to send me away. I didn't get to tell like none of my friends, nothing. So no one knew what happened to me. And so they like drug me out of the bathroom, and like it was very traumatic for me, and put me in the car, locked the car, and drove me away. And yeah, It was very traumatic.

Drove you away to where?

To a children's home. So you still ended up in a children's home? Mm-hmm, I ended up there when I was 12. And I was there for 6 years, me and my siblings. And I was there, but it was a Christian children's home. So I share that because—

I mean, I'm just sitting here like going, I'm just like, what?

I know.

What?

But the children's home was a Christian children's home, and so a lot of my family members always like hated my mom for doing that because they— she broke us up. But I always tell her, because she felt a lot of guilt from it, that that was the best thing she could have ever done for us. Because at that children's home, for one, it saved us from, you know, being on the streets. And two, I could have been dead, you know, I could have ended up pregnant, but I didn't. Nothing happened to me. And at that children's home, I found Jesus. And so or he found me, rescued me. So I always thank her for taking that leap of faith and having the courage to send us away even though everyone was telling her, you know, how bad of a parent she was. So I always remind her of that because she's still to this day—

How's your relationship with your mom?

A lot better. I talk to her like every day. So we have, we've mended our relationship and we've allowed healing to take place. We've been able to walk through that because it was very painful, you know, to be sent away and have that resentment. I didn't talk to her for like 3 months because I was still in shock.

Only 3 months?

3 months, yeah.

I know.

My other siblings are still, you know, healing from it and they've had a lot of pain and resentment towards her. But I've had to walk them through it too and remind them.

So, okay. So I have my opinion, I have thoughts here, but I want to ask you this question. I don't want to be presumptive. There are a lot of people who were raised as believers or, uh, who were raised in church at least, but you are passionately in pursuit of all things that God has for you. Why do you think that so many people, particularly young people, do not have the passion. They know of him. They know that I need to have a good relationship with God. They understand. I mean, they, you know, we got podcasts everywhere, churches everywhere, especially, you know, down here in the Bible Belt. But the fervor, the drive to pursue it, there's a laziness, lackadaisicalness, apathy about it. That's not you. Why do you think so many people are though? And why not you?

Why not me? Well, for me it's because I've been through so much in my life and I could not imagine not, not having Jesus walk me through everything. At the time when I was in, in high school, I didn't quite understand the relationship aspect of like, I can have a relationship with God. It was more like I was up here and I was down here and I had to do everything right or else I was going to hell kind of thing. The Baptists instilled it in my head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fire and brimstone.

Yes, but when I got to college, I understood that like I could have a personal relationship with God. And at the time I was really bitter because of a lot of things that was happening in high school and just losing family members to gang violence. And so I blamed God for all of that. But when I got to college and I was able to like see just looking back on my life, I was like, dang, God really was like protecting me from this and this and this and this and this and saving me, you know, from a lot of harm. And so that's why I share the things, because a lot of people are going through so many storms and they feel that God is so far away from them. And I'm like, no, he's right there, he's helping you, you know, he's protecting you from things that you can't even see. There's, there's such a spiritual realm of just evilness happening in your life that then there's so much So many angels that are protecting you. It's just like so much going on, warfare. And so I just feel like a lot of people don't understand warfare as well. And so your relationship with God is very real to you? Yes.

Um, how do you stay close? Because, you know, people will say, you know, I don't feel close, I don't feel like he's there, he feels so far away. So what do you do to cultivate your relationship with God?

Yeah, I think for me it's just been just pressing through. I, I—

does that mean though?

Yes, I know, church lingo, girl.

Church lingo. Pressing through.

Pressing through.

Churchy. You churchy.

Yeah, pressing through. You know what, someone just asked me this question. She felt like she was so far away, but for me, I just told her, I, I have to have accountability partners, or just having people in my circle that I can be honest with and share with them. Like, man, I don't feel like God is right there with me. Like, I feel like I'm so far away. Or I've been praying about the situation and nothing's happened, nothing's changing. And just having them intercede for me, intercede, like just to pray, pray on my behalf and just help me walk through this. And even my husband, like having him, you know, take this like, babe, I need help. I need, I need you to like cover me in prayer and just help me walk through this season of feeling so far and dry. I don't know if that answered your question. No, it does.

It does.

Having a community of women.

So that's what— so when you say that, though, y'all have been in the Dallas area for how long now?

For a year and a half.

Okay. So this is not home. What did it look like for you to find community? Because a lot of people, women want community, but then, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I hear people say, you know, I don't have any friends. I want community. I can't find it. So what did that look like for you being transported from another city? You know, not even a couple hours away. I know. Totally different culture. Probably in a lot of ways, to be intentional about getting— finding community, building it, and having it so you can.

I was so nervous to move here because for one, I never in a million years thought I would end up in Texas. Like, Texas?

Hey, hey, hey!

Everything is bigger in Texas! But I was just like, I told myself, I was like, I'm never moving to Texas. It's like all cowboys and You know, the— I know when I lived in Louisville, people thought just country hillbilly people, but it wasn't.

I'm like, there's nothing— I mean, you have to drive for a long time before you see a cow.

I know.

Or a horse.

Yes. But it was just in my mind. But, um, but, you know, I wanted to trust God, and I was like, I know he, he has us being here for a reason. And so when I first got here, I literally reached out and did— volunteered at conferences. I know nobody.

You did what conferences?

I volunteered at conferences.

You volunteered at conferences? Yes.

And so I just tried to plug myself in.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

I'm an extroverted introverted person, if that makes sense.

But extrovert is more than your introvert?

Yes. Yes.

So I get that. I'm an introverted extrovert.

Yes.

I understand what you're saying.

I just threw myself out there and I was just like, I have to, because in Louisville I had friends there, but I felt like I was so comfortable that I didn't really—

Now, what was in Louisville?

My husband and I, I moved there to work at a church. I did an internship at Southeast Christian Church right after I got out of college.

Okay, yes.

And then I ended up staying there, and then my husband and I did long distance for 2 years.

So how did y'all meet?

We met in college. Okay. Lincoln Christian College.

Okay.

And then Lincoln Christian University. And then I ended up moving away, and we were separated for 2 years, and then when we got back together, Um, we, we, he moved there to do ministry with me, so we ended up working for a nonprofit.

Okay.

That went south. Okay.

It's all right. All right. So we're in Texas now.

We're in Texas.

And you put yourself out there to connect.

Yes.

Okay. And then it just naturally happened for you. You just found your, found your tribe, found your people. Yes.

And I have an amazing tribe of individuals.

Do y'all all go to the same church?

Nope. Everywhere. Everybody goes to like a million different churches.

Do y'all all live in within 15 minutes of each other?

No. Some of us live an hour away from each other, some 45 minutes.

So you're busting the myth that people have to live 5 minutes from each other. You don't have to be in the same neighborhood. You don't even have to go to the same church. Nope. So, but if you're meeting people at different places, they don't know each other. Nope. So are you the thing that brings everybody together?

Yeah, I love to cook.

You love to cook.

And our house is really small because we actually live in the college dorm. So my husband and I, they created like a dorm room for us, a dorm apartment. It's really small, but it's always filled. These are the best moments ever. Yes, that's what I keep telling myself.

Trust me, these are the best, the best moments ever. You have to live them, but then when you look back, you're going to be like, "It was so great." Yes, I get free babysitters.

We have the girls and guys in our house all the time just doing life with us, but it's not a lot of space. So we make it work though.

But you make it work.

Yes.

You make it work. You know, and then, you know, this idea though of what people want before they make it work. And often God is like, if I couldn't trust you to do it when you didn't have much, why should I give you more to trust that you're going to do it just because I gave you a bigger house? My aunt told me, and I put this in She's Still There, the last book that I— most— one of the recent books that I wrote. Anyway, I had an apartment 10 minutes from here and I wanted to have people over. And I told my aunt, I want to have people over. My apartment is small. And when I get a bigger apartment, when I get a house, She said, no, just do what you can with what you have. And I'm so glad I did. So, and some of the best memories are 20 of my friends piled into my apartment, you know, just all on top of each other. I was having a great time, had a great time. And it just didn't matter. The things you think that matter don't matter. Okay. So you have built, you are the centerpiece of your people and you invited these random people who now know each other through you. So y'all are a thing.

Yes.

How many people are a part of your thing?

I have a lot.

You have a lot.

I do. I would say maybe I would say 30, like really close people.

Okay. But of the 30, how many of the close, close?

30. I'm really close.

I know.

I'm really close to people. I'm very intentional with my friendships.

How can you possibly— listen, Jesus had 12. How are you intentional with 30 people?

I stay up.

What does that mean? What does intentionality look like?

FaceTime calls, checking in on them, sending them random text messages, just encouraging them, or just making sure that I'm pouring into them. Yeah, so that's— and then having them over for dinner or going to their house.

So it's intentional, but it is casual.

Yes, yes, yes.

Not stressful. No, no, you don't have a calendar, you're not checking people off on your list and all that. You just— some people come to mind.

Some people I do. Oh my gosh. I know. It's the people that are farther away that I have to remember to stay in contact with them.

I get that. Okay. All right. So, all right. So, so many interesting things. I just knew it. I was like, she's an interesting person to talk to. I just knew it. All right. So right now, um, you have your Instagram page. We talked a little bit about that, but you also have this other Instagram page, Live Deeply Rooted. What is that about?

So I separated, I used to, my main Instagram was—

Yes, like your whole family and all that.

Yes, was Live Deeply Rooted.

Okay.

But I wanted to branch off of that because I wanted, for one, I wanted people to know who I was in case Instagram was shut down. They're like, who's Live Deeply Rooted?

And I would have people meeting me and saying, oh my gosh, you're Live Deeply Rooted, right?

Yes, I'm like, well, my name is actually Sopa. So that was one reason why I kind of like did a switch. And then also I wanted to be able— I haven't started yet, but I wanted to be able to share other women's stories. I wanted it to be a safe place for women to share their testimony.

Which one?

Live Deeply Rooted.

Oh, right. So what that meant that you, you're separate and this is for— Yeah. Okay.

So that's why I created Live Deeply Rooted too. I just wanted it to be a separate account, but I also wanted other women to be able to share. Right now I've been doing prayers. I've just been sharing my prayers on there and that's just been such a blessing. Blessing as well.

When do you write these prayers?

You do it every morning?

Every morning, yes. And you've been doing this for how long, the prayer part?

3 years.

Mm-hmm. And you write a prayer every morning and then you just share it?

Mm-hmm. I share it on my Twitter, Facebook, and I only used to share it on Twitter, but I was like, why don't I just share it on other platforms? Because not everyone has a Twitter, not everyone has an Instagram, and It's just been tremendously growing on every platform.

What is fueling for you in doing that? You do that because if you're doing it for 3 years, you do that because what is the satisfaction that you get out of doing that?

Well, that's just my prayer to God. And I think, um, but sharing it, you don't have to share. I don't have to share it.

Yeah. So what is the, what is the thing that makes you go, I need to share it. And the thing that when you've shared it makes you go, yes, this is what I'm supposed to do. Why are you doing it?

Because a lot of people don't know how to pray, and I, and I tried to explain to them that it doesn't have to be this huge elaborate prayer. It can just be 2 to 3 sentences of you just pouring your heart out to God and sharing it. So that's why I started to share the simple prayers, because I had a lot of women in my DMs like, I don't know how to pray, I don't know where to start, I don't, I don't know how to have a relationship with God. And I'm like, sometimes just as simple as talking to a friend, like you and me just sitting here talking. And so that's why I started the prayers, and I just— it just continues to bless other people. And so that's my fuel of why I keep doing it, because people are like, you literally took the words right out of my mouth. This is exactly what I wanted to pray to God, but I didn't know how to pray it to God. And so that's why I keep doing it.

Well, it's great.

Thank you.

You— your heart is to help women know. You told me earlier you want them to know how valued they are. How much God loves them. And that's such a simple message that in this day and age when we have all of this theology, all of this information, all of these churches, that sometimes I think people can forget that that basic truth is still the most important truth and still the starting point for people who are just not there yet. Do you find that as you share these messages, the prayers and the messages of what God thinks about you, that it's really striking a chord with women who don't know it or women who have forgotten it? They know it, but they have forgotten. Both.

And it's crazy because these prayers are reaching celebrities, which is so mind-boggling to me. Just like people who, I guess they say that they go to church or they go to church on on holidays and just seeing them repost my prayers and to think that they're reaching people that are always, you know, they're in the social media realm of like they always look perfect and they always, you know, seem so happy, but yet they're still struggling and they don't have their own true self-identity. And so I totally forgot the question, but—

Who does it reach? Women who don't know it or women who need to be reminded? And you said both.

Both, yeah. It's just for both.

You're getting that feedback that no matter what we think we know, no matter what we actually know, we still need to be reminded about how much God loves us. Why do you think that is? Why do you think we don't know or we lose sight of that?

I think for, well, in my own experience, I didn't grow up with a father, and so I didn't really have anyone, you know, like a father figure. Like God being like, "Oh, you're so beautiful." You know, I didn't have an earthly father doing that. My mom, she was still a baby herself, so she didn't really know how to be a mom. And so I didn't really have anyone speaking that truth over me. And so—

But you are beautiful.

Thank you.

Did you grow up with people telling you that?

No, actually I didn't.

I don't understand that.

My grandma was kind of mean. Like, she— as she got older, she got nicer.

What about at the children's home? Like, the other people, they didn't say, "You're so beautiful"?

No. I know it's hard to believe. It was hard because my house—

She said, "I know it's hard to believe." No, no, not in that sense.

Like, because they were a Christian home.

Right. They can't walk around picking one, but yes, I mean—

My house parents, there was a lot of that, things that probably should have been handled differently, you know. And so my house mom and I didn't really have a a relationship, like a healthy relationship. So she never really spoke truth over me either.

Hmm.

And I dealt with a lot of like people pleasing and feeling like I wasn't good enough for everyone because I— for her it was like I wasn't ever good enough. And so I kept trying to like prove myself to her and it was just— and I don't know, I did great in school and I got straight A's. I played sports and I was in every club and involved in church, and it was just like I wasn't good enough. So I had a lot of, a lot of things, insecurities I had to work through. And even, even like going— like when I left the children's home and going to college, like she wasn't even excited for me when I got accepted into college, and that really hurt me. And so when I got to college, I struggled a lot with my self-identity. And then going to predominantly white high school and college, it was like no one looked like me. And so I had a lot of like trying to want to look like these white pretty girls.

You straightened your hair?

All the time. I never had—

And your hair is beautiful!

Thank you.

It's great! You got those wide-ass curls.

But anyway. Yeah, I never embraced who I was until I met my husband and his family.

So how did that help?

They were just like, "What are you doing with your hair?" I was like, "I don't know how to take care of my hair." because my hair was breaking off.

Listen, listen, our hair is a situation.

Yeah.

And people have to teach us what to do with our hair.

Yeah, and my mom is Asian, she never had, she never knew anything about my hair. And they're like, for one, you gotta stop using mousse and gel in your hair.

That's not for you.

Yes, yeah. And then after meeting him, I went natural and I did the big chop, and I don't know what I was thinking, but it grew back and now it's healthy, so.

So having truth, I mean, what, what you just said in a nutshell that applies to all of us in some way is that there is a hole that only God can fill. And other than that, we don't feel like we're enough. And people speaking truth over us with what, who we are, what God has put in us, what our gifts are, what our value is, is how we recognize what, what is there.

Yeah.

And then knowing God is what finishes that off.

Yeah.

And you did not have God personally relationship for a while and you didn't have people speaking into your life either. So is it a true statement then that once you started making those connections and the change that it makes in your mind, how you think about yourself in your heart, how you feel about your life, you just want that for other people?

Yeah, exactly. Because even to this day, like, because after having a baby, I sometimes like, I'm like, dang, I don't have the same body anymore. Like, and I sometimes could tear myself down, but my husband's like, do you know who made you? And I'm like, yes, I understand that.

Sounds like you have a great husband.

He's amazing. And I'm like, yeah, I know. He's like, you literally are saying that God made something that wasn't beautiful, or that God didn't create you to be perfect. Not in a sense of like we have to do it. Yeah.

He didn't, he wasn't intentional about your design.

Yes.

Well, I love what you're doing to help women understand that and to remind the women who do understand that, um, of what they may not be living as if they, as if they know. Um, you know, like they're really holding onto that. Okay. So motherhood, you said it, you had mastitis 4 times.

Yes.

Uh, which is rough. Tell, cause see, Tell the people what mastitis is. See, everybody don't know what mastitis is.

So it's like a— it's a blocked milk duct. So it's just backed up milk.

So your boob hurts?

Yes, really bad.

That's what that means. Your boob hurts.

It gets inflamed and it just feels like it's on fire, and it's just— it's really painful. You get chills, headaches, you get a fever. Um, yeah, so it's very painful, and I've had that 4 times breastfeeding.

So we were talking a little bit before we started, and I told her, I said, hey, I'm gonna be Aunt Chrissy for just a minute. I'm gonna be your big sister for just a minute. But just even that, what has God been teaching you through this first year of motherhood and all the things you have going on? Even that, what has God been teaching you about maybe what you need to change in your own life?

I think for me it's just slowing down. I feel like you can— With social media and just everybody around you, you can sometimes feel like you're in a race constantly, like feeling like you have to catch up to people, or you're not as successful if you're not doing such and such. And so for me, I felt like I was constantly like trying to race and feel as though like I was successful with, I guess, society's, you know— Standards. Standards, yes, thank you. Standards of success. And after having Harlem, I really had to slow down and really have— I've had a lot of quiet moments and a lot of talks with God, like, you know, it's okay. It's okay if you're not going at a fast pace and feeling like, you know, especially with our situation, we obviously live in a college dorm and we don't have a house and we're 27 years old, you know. And so just that success of like, we have to have a house, we have to have this and that. And so for me, it's just slowing down, and God really reminded me, like, you have to find joy in the things that you have now. And that doesn't mean that, like, we can't set up for us to be successful and have, you know, have that as a goal, like, for us to have a house in 3 or 4 years, you know. But to understand, like, you have to have joy now and be content with what we do have, because like you were saying, How is God supposed to bless us with more if we can't even, you know, be happy with what we have? And I always think of other people that have so much, but yet they're so empty, and they feel they don't have a lot of happiness, but yet they have all this money, and they have this big house, and they have elaborate cars, and, and then it's like, but that's not where true joy comes from. And so that's what God's been teaching me a lot, just like finding contentment and finding—

so what does that mean practically? Like, at the moment where you're not feeling the joy, at the moment where you're like, oh my gosh, do I have mastitis again? At the moment where there's a dirty diaper, the blowout, the dishes that you're doing again, the house that's too small and you're wishing that, you know, how it could be different. That, you know, the plans that you had even in moving to this area, they're not coming out the way that you thought they would. In those moments where you're like, I actually don't like my life right now. What does it look like to choose joy? How do you do that?

I don't know. You know what? I don't even have an answer for it.

But you're doing it.

But I'm doing it. I just, I don't even know. I just, it's a choice. Like you just wake up and choose whether you want to be happy or be bitter or miserable in the idea or, you know, just, I don't even know.

So, so if you wake up and you're, it's not a joy-filled, naturally joy-filled day, what are some of the things that you do to to spark joy?

I turn on my gospel music in the morning.

Okay.

And I just literally, I will blast it and I just will dance. And I promise you that—

dance?

Dance, yeah. I can't dance. I don't have a dancing bone in my body.

I can't either.

But you know, I just, I turn it on, I strap my baby to me, and we just dance around the house. And also it helps having my college girls because they come in and they're always so happy. Yeah, not always. They have their their days as well, because we're human, right? But for the most part, they're happy, and it just makes me joyful. Um, and just my husband— when I say he's the most logical person, he like brings me back down to earth. He's like, you know, do we have something over our head? Do we have food? You know, do we have this? And I'm like, yes, babe, I understand we have all this, but I want more for our life, you know? So he's very practical and reminds me of the things that we do have, and so that helps me bring joy back in my life.

Yeah, choosing basically to be grateful. Yes, thinking about what you do have even in the light of the things that you don't. Shifting your focus intentionally. Yeah, that's, that's— but I agree with the music in the morning. I tell my kids every morning, I'm like, uh, turn on Ty Tribbett.

And they're like, yeah, because I'm like, get out. Is that your song?

Listen, I just put Ty Tribbett artist and anything by him is fine with me. Yes, Ty Tribbett and then Travis Travis Greene, he's another one. Just hype me up. You know, it's hard to be down and out when you're listening to uplifting music. Candles are some of my faves.

Candles are my favorite too.

Candles are some of my faves. And I have Mrs. Meyer's soap, that expensive stuff.

I have that soap too.

Okay, because— now everybody can't use it. Why not? Because I don't want them to waste it. But it makes me happy, so I put it up on a counter and they have the regular stuff. And then when I go over the kitchen and finish it off and want everything to smell good, I pull down my Mrs. Meyers.

I love that.

And that's for me.

Another thing that helps, I use a diffuser.

Are you oily?

Yes. Oh no, I am.

I'm anti-oils. I'm not actually. I'm anti the fact that my whole family always thinks I'm crazy and then they catch up to me 10 years later. So when I tried to tell them about oils 10 years ago, they were like, girl, you and all your homeschool stuff and what is this and da da da da. And now they're all oily and they're all like, you should sign up. And I'm like, I'm not doing it. And if I sign up, I'm not signing up under y'all. So Young Living or doTERRA?

DoTERRA.

DoTERRA. Okay. Go ahead. It's literally a life what?

It's a life changer for me. Because? The diffuser. It just makes, like when I have my music going and the air is just fresh and so you can't even be mad. It's just like, just refreshing. And I started herbs in my kitchen. My little kitchen.

You're growing them?

I'm growing herbs and I keep fresh flowers in the house and it just makes me happy. So those are the things that spark my joy. And sunflowers are my go-to. Oh! Yes, I love, I love anything yellow. So sunflowers are my go-to. But those are the things that spark my joy. And it literally, when I wake up and I see those things, it just makes me happy.

So, love it. Yes, I love that. I love that. Okay, so beyond all the things that you're doing intentionally to spark joy, things that you're doing intentionally to connect with God, and the overflow of that to help other people to connect with God, um, you've intentionally created product too. I want you to talk to me about what that is and share that with everybody.

Yes, so I created a prayer journal and And because I love to journal— journaling is also one of my things that spark my joy when I have time to do it. Now it's a little different. Now I have a little one, um, my mornings look a little different. But, uh, I love journaling, and I love to be able just to like look back on all of the things, like all my prayer requests, everything that God has helped me with, and just to see how far I've come. And so that's why I love— I've been journaling since 7th grade when I moved to the children's home. They, they like Oh, it's part of their thing. Yeah, they forced us to journal, but I'm glad that they did that because now that I'm able to do it, I found a passion in journaling. So I created a prayer journal, and in that prayer journal I have a prayer a day. It's a 21-day prayer journal. Okay. In that 21 days, the first 10 days I write out a prayer for you, and then I have questions that go with it, reflection questions. Questions, and then also there's scripture reading for you to tie it all together. And then there's a section where you can just write out your notes and then proclaim victory over something in your life. So every day you have that for 10 days, and then the next—

Then you're leashed to do it on your own.

Then you're kind of leashed, because I wanted to help women do it on their own. Pray to God on their own. Start off with a prayer. Simple, you know, they can just write it out. And yeah, so I created that and I love, I love it.

So did you just wake up one day and say, I'm going to create a journal? Like what made you go, I'm going to do that?

I've always wanted to create a journal, but my friend, like I was sharing earlier, my friend's very business-minded and I'm not.

You're the creative. Yes. You've got friends that are like, honey, I need you to do something with this.

Yeah.

And you know, our finances, you know, because 'Cause you're in a little house with a cute little family in a starting position in life. Extra money helps.

Extra money helps. And so my friend's like, "Well, you have all of this content, so why don't you just put it together and create this book? And you know, you love journaling, you love helping women, and you do these prayers every day, so why don't you just put it together?" I said, "Okay." And so she's like, "I'm giving you till, you know, —because she's that kind of friend. Yeah, and I had it done in 2 days because I had everything created. Wow. And so I sent it, I found something on Google to create it, and I sent it in, and they sent me a copy back 2 weeks later. And then I started sharing it on Instagram, snippets of like me journaling and having it, you know, people are like, where'd you get that from? Where'd you get that from? And I was like, oh, I didn't want to release it because I was on my babymoon in Colorado. And then I ended up—

we didn't get to the Colorado part, but we're gonna keep going. Go ahead.

Yeah, so then I ended Ended up releasing it while I was on the trip. I wish I didn't because it was very stressful. Because I thought I would only sell, you know, 100. I was like, oh, I'll just— it will be 100, maybe less than that. My expectations was blown out the water. I started— I sold around 1,000 of them. Within what period of time? 3 days. Yeah, it was nuts. Wow. And I didn't understand the business.

So you got— I was about to say, so you got baptized in the business real quick.

Yes.

It's like, wait, I'm not ready. I didn't know.

Yeah. And I ended up—

Fulfilling all that? Were you fulfilling the orders yourself too? Were you sending them out?

Yes. Oh, did you just do all the merch? I didn't know that portion of it. And even overseas, like international packaging. Oh. So we didn't make any money. But you know what? They were all blessed because— I was like, wait a minute. I know.

Shipping internationally is the situation, and you want to do it, it's just so cost prohibitive.

The thing is, the company, they did it all themselves too, but I was like, oh no, I'm gonna be the intentional person and write letters to everyone and sign them, and I ended up doing that, and it was just a lot being— I was 8 months, 8 and a half months pregnant during all of that, and I was just crying, bawling, and people were losing journals, and so I had to resend journals. It was just a lot on my plate.

They lost them and you resent them?

Yes, I resent them in multiples.

It's called integrity. Yeah. Okay. So what business lesson, if you were going to say, you know what, there's one thing I've learned as a, as a, as a woman, because how long ago was that? April, like a year ago. A year ago. Yeah. Okay. So as a, as a toddler businesswoman, as a blooming, you know, butterfly, I'm messing this up, but you get the idea. Yes. You're still fairly close to the inception of business for you. Yeah. What lesson have you learned?

Um, if you're like anybody who's starting something, or find a distributor, pay the extra to like have someone else do the work, the hard work. But it was definitely a lesson learned. Like, I actually, looking back on it, we were able to— like, that brought my husband and I closer together because he helps me and like start my business and got to see the behind the scenes and it was a lot. It's like he was comforting me in the midst of all that because I was literally having a breakdown.

Yes, because you did it out of the overflow of your heart and now it becomes this business thing that requires execution that you don't necessarily understand, haven't necessarily done before, and you're learning it, you know, kind of by fire.

Well, you see all these pictures and people are like having their packages and it's like all nice and like, of, you know, baskets of packaging, like, oh, we're taking it to the mail, it looks fun. I was over here like, okay, I can do that. And the 1,000 packages was just too much because I brought it to the post office and they were like, we're gonna have to do these one by one with a tracking number. And I was just like, what do you mean? They're like, it's gonna take all day.

And you're like, uh, I'm 8 and a half months pregnant, y'all need to come up with another plan.

Yeah, so I was, I was at the post office this with their little— you can only do like 15 at a time postage stamps, getting the $3.50, because each package, each journal costs $3.50 to mail out. Okay, so when I say I made no money, I made no money. Um, and the journal was less than a pound, so it was like, it didn't weigh much, but the size of it— the size. So I— it was just—

we feel you, don't we? We feel you on the, on the postage situation. Okay, this is so great. Okay, so Last thing I want to ask you about, motherhood. How are you enjoying motherhood? And what is the most— besides the mastitis— what is the most taxing and trying thing about motherhood for you?

I love motherhood with all my heart. I've always, like, I didn't grow up, you know, with a family. Very— I did grow up with family, but it wasn't very family-oriented. And so I've always dreamed of having my own family. And what that looked like. And now I'm living it, and it's just been awesome. But there's been moments where I've had my little meltdowns, and I've just felt overwhelmed, um, especially like when my husband has long days because he has to work. Someone's got to work, right? So, right, you know, some days he works from morning until 9 o'clock at night, and so I'm home with the baby for 12 hours straight. And so that's the hardest part. And with him teething too, so that's been the hardest part, is just the teething, having a teething baby and and someone who's attached to me 24/7 because I am breastfeeding. Yeah, um, yeah, that's the most taxing part. But for the most part, my baby is like super peaceful, super chill, like his dad.

Just, it's just you're on all the time when they're that age, and it's exhausting.

Yeah, it's exhausting. And just learning when to, to ask the girls for help and to like ask my husband and tell him, let him know what's going on with my heart, and not being like, okay, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. And I'm like, baby, I need help. Like, I need, I need you to comfort me. I need you to tell me that I'm a good mom. Because sometimes men don't, they don't do, they're not very good with that.

And so yeah, we have to tell them what we need from them. Yeah. I said that was the last question, but marriage. Yes. Um, what expectation of marriage, um, did you have that is, that, that being married you've, you've gotten more than you even expected? And what expectations have you had to adjust because maybe your expectations were a little too high?

Yeah. For me, I always thought my husband was a mind reader. I don't know why it just happens. So I just—

because they kind of are when you're dating a little bit. Yeah. You know what?

They are when you're dating. They just know everything about you.

They work really hard.

Yes, they work really hard. They are on pursuit for your heart. That's right.

They have to figure it out.

Yeah. When they're married, it's like, like, okay, I got you, and you just there, you beautiful. And I was like, baby, no, you need to continue learning and pursuing me. And so, yeah, with Marek, I had this expectation that everything was gonna be perfect all the time, that I was gonna make him breakfast in bed, and it was just gonna be— we never had disagreements. And I know, I know, I had this fairy tale idea because of the movies that, you know, they always make it look like these couples are just Yes. You know, great. And so in my head I was like, oh, we're gonna be that couple. Like, we were gonna be this power couple that never argued or had disagreements. And yeah, that's not the case at all. And so, and it's okay. It's healthy to have disagreements. You're two different people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And our cultures, our backgrounds are so different, you know. So I just had to really learn that and just understand that my husband and I have different love languages. Languages. That was a big thing with our love languages and understanding love languages and just how to understand what he needed and not— because at my— I used to, like, for his birthdays or different things, I would get him things that I know that I— yeah, what I thought he wanted.

That's easier.

Yeah. But it wasn't something that he wanted. And so just knowing what he needed and not what I needed and wanted for him. Um, for one, one thing I can definitely say was he never eats healthy. And so that bothered me because his family has health issues and my family has health issues, and I'm like, I want us to be healthy. I want us to be around for our kids. And so that was one of the things we used to have an argument over because I'm like—

Listen, I've been 18 years and I'm killing myself with the grocery list, making things, steaming things, chopping things up. Yeah. And then I found a receipt on the counter last night. My husband took the boys for haircuts and there's a little gas station corner store right there and everybody got chips and soda and I was like, what is happening? Like I'm killing myself trying to make this work for y'all. Then you just say, you know what? Well, you know what?

When I stopped nagging him, this man started juicing. He started eating healthy, asking for things he never asked me for, for sushi. I make homemade sushi and I make homemade— I love Asian food so I make a lot of homemade homemade stuff. Yeah. And, um, he, he tried my sushi once, and out of the whole time we've been dating, he hates sushi, and he liked it. And so he's just been asking me for sushi and healthy things. And he's like, you know what, I want to cut out dairy. And I'm like, this man loves me.

So are you super healthy?

I am. Okay, wait, wait, back up.

What in marriage is better than you expected?

Us eating healthy, like getting—

so that's the healthy thing, getting healthy together. Getting healthy together. So you're super healthy? Like, no, are you like no gluten, no dairy? Are you like that kind of healthy?

Sometimes. Okay. It depends.

You're, you're not—

I'm very realistic about it, cautious about what I put in my body, but I'm not like, if I want something, I'm gonna eat it. Okay. But I, I had a lot of health issues, um, the last couple— in November I ended up in hospital a couple of times with my— I couldn't figure out— slow down. I know, I couldn't figure out what was my— what my body was trying to trying to tell me, but I was like, I need to listen to my body. And, um, my OB was like, do you want something to be wrong? All your tests came out, you're healthy as can be. And I was like, I'm just trying to tell y'all something's not right. So she's like, okay, well, just— she's like, just try to cut out gluten and dairy. As soon as I did for a whole month, my body was back to normal, and I've never felt better.

So I just try to stay away.

Yes, I limit it out, and I cut out meat. So I, I feel so much —so you are super healthy.

You do feel— I mean, all of those things, you do feel better when you cut them out. It is true. It is true. It's— and it's hard to eat like that if you're not eating at home. Yes, you are. Yeah, doing— yeah.

And I think one more expectation. I'm sorry. No, you're good. You're good. A lot. But one more thing is just, um, I— my husband is very slow at things. So for me, I've always been so independent, and I like— I want to get things done like right away. And even with his business, my husband has always dreamed of having a clothing line, and I've always been that wife in his ear like, "What about that clothing? You know, I know you want to do a clothing line." And so when we first got married, I was always like bringing it up, and then I just started nagging him about it. And she's like, "Why haven't you done it already?" "Why haven't you done it? Like, you have all these ideas, like, just do it." And so I just became that pestering wife, and I was just like, "Ugh." You were a baller, Jane!

When I finally—

yeah, and then I like stepped back. Then you stepped back and learned that lesson. And this man has been excelling, and he's just— he's got ideas idea after idea after idea, and he's putting all of this into action. So for that, like, it's exceeded my expectations because it's like, I don't— this man has gone beyond, above and beyond. And just to see him shine, it's just been so cool, like, to see him shoot his products and just— it's been great. Well, he probably feels the same way watching you. Thank you.

Watching you shine and doing your thing. Listen, I'm so excited to get to meet you in person. Yes, yes, I am. And also, if you have never heard of Sopa Rush, now you have. Go find her on Instagram in two places. Search for her name and you can also search for Live Deeply Rooted. Get encouragement from Live Deeply Rooted and then see her cute family and watch her cute life. Is it Sopa Rush on Instagram?

Yes. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, everything. Live Deeply Rooted on Facebook.

Live Deeply Rooted on Facebook.

Or just Google my name, everything pops up. There you go.

Yeah. When you have a name like Sopa, not sofa, not Sophia, not sophisticated, just Sopa, and then Rush, you're gonna find her. Yes. And Sopa is worth following.

Thank you. And it's been so worth it. Yes, thank you so much. This has been amazing. I needed some time away from the baby anyway.

Oh my goodness. I know, I'm getting time away from my babies today too. Oh goodness. OK. We're good. Hey, y'all. I hope you enjoyed that video. Be sure and subscribe so that you don't miss anything.