Self Care In Season - Coffee With Chrystal #alittleQC

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Yes, I'm late today and I have a whole reason for that. I have a whole reason for that. Oh my goodness. Okay, good morning. All right, here I am everywhere. Um, good morning, it's Tuesday. I'm here by myself. If you don't know who I am, let me tell you and also fix a couple of things. So basically, I'm here this morning and I want to talk to you about something that I was in dire need of, dire need of. Let's see here, let me fix something. And I— this is my whole life. Okay. So I have been needing— I was in need of yesterday some self-care. Anybody, anybody feel me on that? I just hit a wall yesterday. I hit— I totally hit a wall. Totally. I just crapped out and I was just looking at my people like, leave me alone. Does anybody ever felt like that. You're just like, I'm not, I'm not available to you. I, um, went to— I mean, yesterday was tough mentally, and then I had to go to the grocery store, and I had made a whole meal planning list, um, and, uh, I, I just got there and I was like, I'm not doing any of this. I'm not cooking for these people. I'm just not. It's like I'm not— I always forget this part, y'all. If you don't know who I am, I'm Chrystal Evans Hurst. There you go. If you want to figure out more about me, you can go to chrystalevanshurst.com. And if I say anything that you're like, what was that? I should have written that down. Don't worry about it. If you're on my email list, I'll send you the info. Easy peasy. So basically, y'all, I— so I'm trying to make decisions and decision-making for me, I'm either totally good with pop locking and narrowing those things down— yes, I did say pop locking— or because I like to make right decisions, I can't land the plane. And yesterday there was a decision, not a hard one, not a hard one, it's not life or death, that I needed to make, and I just got caught in a vortex of trying to make the right one. And that mentally wore me out. And I did not realize that it wore me out. I thought I was just getting tired. I didn't realize that it wore me out until, um, one of the girls, um, some of y'all know her name is Shonda. We were talking about it. I was bouncing ideas off of her. If y'all have been to the retreat, you know who Shonda is, or been at the Speaker and Writer Summit and Workshop, you know who Shonda is. Anyway, she's a kind of an honorary team member. Um, and so I was talking to her and I just mentioned, oh my gosh, I'm so exhausted, I, my brain is tired. And she said, yes, I had to take a whole nap because I was just depleted. I felt depleted. I was like, I'm sorry for doing that to you. But here's my point. My point is, is that I don't think we give ourselves credit for the mental work that we put in. Hey, Antoinette, you said it's your first time watching live. So there's always somebody, it's their first time. Sidebar, that's a lesson for those of us who work in ministry or involved in church. Never forget that it's always, always, always somebody's first Sunday. Always. So you have to think about that when you put your branding on your website. You have to think about that when you, um, when you have your greeters at the door, you have to think about that when you're familiar with people who come every Sunday, that there's somebody who doesn't know, they don't know, they don't know where to go. They don't know how to check in. They don't know. And if you're a member of a church and you're just looking at everybody like they, they always, they always here, they don't. And what if they run into you and you're not welcoming? Anyway, that's a, that's like a thing for me. It's always somebody's first Sunday, like it's always, already, always somebody's first time here. So long story short, because this is going to be short today, Team Chrystal Hurst, I'll be on at 7:20. Give me 5 minutes of extra grace. Thank you. Uh, hey Nana. Mendo on Instagram, it's your first time too. Yeah, see, but I didn't wake up with the Monday blues. I woke up feeling— but, but the point is mental work is exhausting work. We know physical work is exhausting work. We know emotional work is exhausting work, but I think we have to give ourselves credit for mental work. And some of us have found a normal. Some of us are struggling to find a normal because we have not given ourselves credit for the mental work that it takes to change our routine. It takes mental work, of course, to be home with the kids if you've never been home with the kids. It takes mental work to make decisions about your finances that now you have to make because income has been lost. It takes mental work to reschedule things or come up with a new plan. You had a plan for the kid that was going to graduate from high school, and then that plan went out the window because now there's no graduation, and now you got to come up with all the celebration on your own. You had a plan for that person's birthday. But now you got to figure out how to do a parade and make them feel special in the streets. All of this takes mental work and it's exhausting. And yesterday I put in mental work for a small decision. I'll give you a hint as to what that small decision is. I'm excited about it, but I so, so, so, so, so was exhausted by it. And I didn't realize that that's what was happening. I, I talked about it all day. I thought about it all day. I was trying to figure out how I felt about it all day. And then at the end of the day, because I still couldn't make the decision, I was really frustrated and exhausted. So by the time I went to the store, poor Joel, he was with me, y'all. I was so snappy. I was just like, what? Has anybody ever said that to your kids? What? That was me yesterday. I'm just telling the truth. I just was like— and then he kept asking me for stuff. Like, he came with me. You know how your kids come with you because they only want something? Mom, we're at Costco. Can I have a snack? No. That was me like a million times. What, Joel? What? And he's like, I just am hungry. It's like, well, you should have taken an apple before we left the house, and we'll be home in 10 minutes. You can wait. That was me. Just saying, it is what it is. I'm looking at my notes. So here's, here's the deal. Here's what I want to say to you. You are mentally exhausted. You're worn out. You're tired. And that doesn't make an excuse. He was trying to love on me and kiss me, and I was like, stop. I just like, y'all get off of me. Get off of me. Thank you. I just want some space. Oh my gosh. Okay, Lord Jesus. So self-care. So this is what I did yesterday, and I just want to give you some, some freedom to make some self-care decisions. What I did yesterday is menu planning all. I went through Costco, wasn't a part of the plan, wasn't on the list, but I bought a ready-to-fix meal. Yes, y'all, the Cooking Chrystal bought a ready-to-fix meal, uh, which I do all the time. I've just been showing you one side of me, you know, so y'all all think that I'm all in the kitchen and I'm just, you know, Chef Chris— Chef Chrissy. No, sometimes, y'all, it is what it is. There have been weekends here the last couple months where I'm like, cereal for dinner. I'm not doing it. Y'all figure it out. There's enough leftovers in the fridge. Pull them out and make yourself happy. Just do the thing. Don't be hungry. Cereal works. I had cereal for breakfast and lunch, at least sometimes dinner, every Saturday of my life because my mom left the premises and went shopping. Shopping for herself, getting her hair and her nails done, shopping for Sunday dinner. But we ate cereal. We all right. I mean, I might have developed an allergy to milk, but haven't we all? After 40, haven't you all developed an allergy to dairy and maybe gluten? I mean, you know, it is what it is. So anyway, I bought garlic chicken in a bag, y'all, in a bag. I dumped that bag right into that pot. I didn't microwave it. At least I didn't microwave it. I just want you to know that if you're going to cook with a microwave, sometimes y'all just cook with a pan. If you're gonna make instant oatmeal 5 times for you, your husband, and your kids, oh my gosh, make the oatmeal in the pan. You want me to tell you how to make it? You put 3 cups of water with 2 cups of rolled oats— not quick, rolled oats. You bring it to a boil, you turn it off, and you let it sit for 5 minutes, maybe 10. It's done. Then you add in your butter, your sugar, your milk, whatever you're going to do— cinnamon, apples, I don't know. But that's a lot easier than bag person number 1, bag person number 2. Bag, person number 3. There you go, that's your hint for today. But I put the garlic chicken in a bag, but then I came to myself and I was like, ah, you know, I've been spoiling these children. So then I went— and my husband— and then I took— I had some Texas toast in the refri— refreezer because I was in the store this weekend. I was like, you know what, I'm gonna get some Texas toast, all these hydrogenated fats, but they'll love me garlic cheese. So I pull that out, and then I had already chopped up salad because remember I told y'all, when you chop something up once, chop it up for the whole thing. And I buy the big old bag at Costco, so we already had chopped salad. It was a little brown on the edges, but that is gonna kill them. So I dumped that in the thing. Did I make Caesar? No, I just dumped some dressing on it, tossed it, put a little pepper on it, and served it. And they had a full meal. And you know what I did? I went and sat down. And you want to know what I did also? I went and ate my Panera Bread, because while I was out getting food for them, I was like, I don't want that, I don't want that, I want Panera. So I sat down. I didn't sit at the table with them. I sat down and ate Panera with a sweet tea. Sometimes you have to say, y'all, I got to do me. I love y'all, I'm gonna take care of y'all, I'm gonna do my job as unto the Lord. However, I'm also going to sit myself down and have Panera. My husband's probably watching this right now and going, oh really, you had Panera? I'm waiting on to see his comment because I know he's watching. Here's some other quick self-care tips I want to give you. Self-care. Somebody asked me about these. Okay, this is in a bag because I haven't taken them out yet. I will put the link to my— to compression socks in the resources, y'all, because somebody said, I see you always wearing compression socks. I have to wear compression socks, but I want them to have color. I have all the colors. So these are compression socks. Aren't they cute? So I have, I have really good ones, like for real ones that look like kind of like knee-highs. But I wear compression socks all the time. I had an injury to my foot. It's a whole long story. I won't say that with you. Actually thought I might lose a toe. Later found out I could have lost my foot, but I didn't. Praise the Lord. Thank you, Jesus. Because I got to stand on my two feet to fix food for these people, and I need to lose weight. And how can I do that if I— you know, I mean, you can with food, but the point is I lose weight when I work out because it's mental, and I don't want to eat more if I worked out. I don't want to eat the calories I just burnt. It's mental. So anyway, whatever. Compression socks. If you travel, you should be wearing these. If your feet swell, you should be wearing these. If you've ever had an injury to your foot, here you go. I also will make sure I put in the comments because I told y'all about this and I didn't put it in there. This is my wall calendar when I was talking about calendars the other day. So when my kids say to me, Mommy, what's happening today? I don't answer them when I need self-care moments. I say, go look at the calendar. You have to learn how to teach your people to stop asking you questions. When I meal plan, I put it on the wall because then I say, y'all don't ask me. When they say what time it is, there's a clock on the wall. I love y'all, but for Christmas I bought y'all watches. Look at your wrist. Sometimes you just need to tell the people to serve themselves. Not that you're not here for them. I'm still 2 weeks behind on Bible and history with my youngest child. He said, Mom, can I please just do it on my own like my brothers do? I said, no, they're in high school. You have to do that with me, and I'm not ready. It's Bible, it's history. We can, we can talk about that in June. The world will not end. Um, okay, I'm not— uh, here's what I also want to tell you about self-care. So when I did my hair, which, you know, I washed it and twisted it, and, you know, it is what it is, y'all. My dad hates my hair like this. He hates it. He hates it. Like, it's a whole discussion. Every time I go over to the house to check on him or take him food or whatever, he's like, why is your hair like that? Dad, it's twisted. A lot of people actually like my hair like this. Well, I don't. That's what he says. I don't. He said, I don't like stringy hair. He said, and you have such nice hair too. I said, Dad, my hair is still nice. Well, I don't think so. So y'all, my point is, when I did that— team, I'm coming, I'm coming. Team, y'all can start without me, but I am coming. Um, yeah, he is vocal, Antoinette. So when I was in the bathroom, y'all, you know, this is a whole situation. You gotta wash it, then comb it out. Then I had to blow dry it a little bit, stretch it out. Then I had to twist it. My feet swelled while I was twisting it. Anyway, I can't tell you how many times people knocked on the door. The kids, Mommy, what are you doing? When are you coming out? I'm in the bathroom, for God's sake. I need a minute. I need a minute. So what I'm saying to you is when you need a minute, y'all, sit in the chair and eat your Panera while you serve them food out of a bag. Here comes my husband. Oh really? Yeah, that's— yeah, I had Panera last night. I'm sorry. Sorry. Huh? But you were, you were resting. Okay. So my point is self-care. So yes to compression socks. Yes to feeding yourself. But you should feed your husband too if you do that sometimes. Yes to, um, uh, yes to taking your vitamins. Yes to drinking your water. Yes to taking a nap and going to bed early. Y'all, I don't know what time my kids went to bed last night. I have no idea. I have no idea. And my husband doesn't either. I said to him last, what, so what time did the kids go to bed? He said, I don't know, I don't know, but I've got a full night of sleep, I can tell you that. Um, y'all, self-care. And I want to talk more about that a little bit more this week, but I just wanted to start by saying Sometimes you feed your children out of a bag. Not all the time. Don't, don't, don't make that an excuse. The stuff in the bag, we all know it's not the best. What I'm saying to you is sometimes you just say, y'all going to bed. You know, you put your kids in bed early. You say, today I had a plan but I can't make it. You say, I'm exhausted because of the mental stress of the situation, all the decisions that I'm making, being with my kids all day. Cooking more than I ever have before in my life. And you give yourself a pass to say, I need to take care of me. Yes, sometimes you lock your kids in the bathroom. And even if you don't want your kids to watch TV, even if you're trying not to Netflix out, you Netflix out. Or you put your kids in front of whatever it is that you feel like is okay. Boomerang is pretty safe. And say, you know what, it won't kill them, it didn't kill me. I'm just saying it's okay to give yourself a pass and just to look at your people and say I'm in the bathroom and I need a minute. Just give me a minute. I say that to my kids all the time, and then I have to restrain myself from strangling them, especially with the youngest one, when I say, give me a minute, and he goes, 59, 58, 57, 56. It's metaphorical, Joel. It's metaphorical. So this is what I want to tell you today, and I'll talk some more practical stuff tomorrow. I want you to figure out what you need. A nap, a cup of coffee, you know, Panera, Starbucks, go through the drive-through line. Y'all, I went to Target on Sunday and I did pretty good. Jesse, I pretty much bought— hand me that bag right there, that bag right there that you got that stuff out of. I did pretty good. I mostly bought food. I mostly bought food, mostly. But then I had a gift card from like 9 months ago, y'all. I'll show you what else I did when I was at Target because self-care. And then I'm gonna say this, and I gotta— y'all, my team is waiting on me, I gotta go. Okay, because these were there, so praise the Lord, thank you Jesus, I got some. But here's what I wanted to show you: the Cozy Nights candle, the Lavender Linen candle. Lavender Linen, the Silver Pine candle. Oh, y'all can't see this. The Silver Pine candle. And then there's another linen candle downstairs. There's also another, uh, candle called Magnolia something on the fireplace. And you want to know why those things happened? Self-care. $25 worth of self-care. I'm a better person when a candle is burning. What makes you a better person? What do you need? Because I'm telling you now, you're probably stressed, and I want to give you permission to lock yourself in the bathroom, to buy the bag of food, to wear the compression hose, to go outside for a walk. I went outside for a walk. I was just walking up down the street yesterday, just up and down the street. Joe was like, what are you doing? I was like, walking. He said, but you're walking back and forth. And I was like, yes, because this is what I need to do today. It's what I need to do today. I didn't want to go on no 2-mile hike. I just wanted to get outside, smell some fresh air, and think. And I just— I know the people in the, in the neighborhood were like, what is wrong with her? I was just walking up and down, just walking up and down. I need you to know you have permission, y'all, to say tonight y'all go to bed, tonight y'all watch a movie, tonight I gotta What do you need to do? You have permission to be in the bathroom for 2 and a half hours if that's what you need to do. Clean out your cabinets, do what you need to do, because y'all, this stuff is stressful. I love y'all. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm coming, team. Here I come, here I come. For real, for real, for real, I'm coming. See you later, y'all. Have a great day. Bye.