Show Up For Your Life

Hey y'all, I just need to check one quick thing. I need somebody to tell me when we're live. So are we gonna go live here in just a second, or just so I know who I'm talking to? Oh, I got live when I took the mic? Oh well. Hi everybody, I'm so glad you're here tonight. I want to tell you something. When— so girls, you need to know that this book that's in front of you on the tables was something that my publisher said after I wrote another book called She's Still There. They said, you know what, we really think that this is a message that young women should have. And we talked about it a little bit, and I thought, I don't know that I'm— I have enough to say to young women. I don't know that they're gonna listen to me. They're probably gonna think I'm old and I'm not relevant. And I actually gave, when I was writing the book, I gave half of the book to Alina to read, and I'll introduce her in just a second, because I was like, please make sure I don't sound whack. Please make sure I don't say anything wrong, that I'm not using the wrong language, because let me just tell you, as you get older, you don't feel any less with it than you did when you were 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. But your 13, 14, 15, 16, 17-year-old counterparts will tell you that you are not, not with it any longer. So I'm glad that you're here, but I wanted you to know that my publisher actually, Carolyn, who's here tonight, and Jennifer, both from Zondervan, they kind of talked to me and said, but we really think that regardless of your concerns or insecurities about whether or not young women will be interested in reading. We really think they will be, and we think you should consider writing it. And the more I worked on it, and the more I thought about you, and the more I prayed about how I could encourage you, the more excited I got. And here's why. Are you ready? Here's why. Because this is what I would tell my teenage self. Okay, this is what I tell myself. There's a video, and if we get a chance to show it to you tonight, you'll see this, but I would tell you two things. The video shares one of them. You here tonight will get to hear the other one. The first one is the title of this book. It is really, really, I want you to show up for your life. And you do not show up for your life when you're 25. You don't show up for your life when you're 30. It doesn't magically start, you know, becoming your life when you're 40. You show up for your life right now. And if you don't, here's what's going to happen when you're 30 and 40 and 50 and you still feel like you're 17, because you will most of the time. Um, when you're that age, you're going to realize that who you are then is reminiscent of who you are now. That there are a lot of things that are going to change, but there are a lot of things about you that are going to still be be a part of you. So if you can show up in the best way to who you are right now, then you will be way ahead of the curve. Because a lot of us girls— not all of us, but a lot of us girls— we wait, and then we realize that those 10, 20, 30 years that we were waiting for our life to begin, it had begun a long time ago. So that's the first thing: show up to your life. Here's the second thing I would tell you. Okay, but you have to really lean in. So lean in. Come on, do it. Just lean in. Okay, because it's a secret. Listen, listen, there are people in your life— your mom, your auntie, your grandmother— and I know you want to roll your eyes right now, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, they are in your life to give you stuff You think you know, but you don't. And if you will listen, it will save you a lot of time, a lot of heartache, and a lot of pain. Now, most of us, when we're 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, think we know a lot and we listen selectively. And then as we continue to get older, we realize that what they were telling us when we were 14, that was exactly right. But we had to figure it out the hard way. The good news is you will figure it out one way or another. You will figure it out. I have no doubt in my mind that you will absolutely 100% all the way, you will figure it out. I just don't want you to figure it out the hard way. I don't want you to figure it out the long way, the painful way. I want you to figure it out and realize, 20s, 30s, oh yeah, I'm so glad I listened. Because as I would say, my mama and them, they really knew what they were talking about. So show up to your life right now. What has God already given you? Who are you? What do you love? What do you like? What do you enjoy? What, what, what do you not like? Like, you're learning about yourself right now. But what you do know, if you like to dance, dance. If you like to write, write. If you like to sing, sing. If you like to care for people or spend time with older people, do as much of it as you can. If you like playing with babies, do that. If you like tinkering and putting Legos together or doing things that are STEM scientific related, Do as much of that as you can and voice to the people who love you, I really enjoy this. Can you help me figure out how to do more of that? This is your time to learn about you and to show up for your life in small ways. And then what was the second one? Listen, listen. So what I've done in Show Up for Your Life is to tell you a few of my stories. Some of them may shock you. That's okay. Some of them may seem corny to you, but they were not corny to me. But there's probably at least one or two stories in there that will be familiar to you, and that's because I remember like it was 5 minutes ago being 15. I do. And if there's anything that I can share with you from that season of my life that will help you in the season that you're in right now, then so be it. And I'll be grateful if I can. Are we able to show the video, or we still don't have sound? We're gonna try it. My name is Chrystal Hurst, and I've written Show Up for Your Life so that young ladies can know what the girl they'll be tomorrow needs to know today. What would I tell my teenage self?

If I could talk to teenage Jessica, there are a few things I would tell her.

Dear 14-year-old Chrissy, There are a lot of things I'd like to tell you. What I'd tell my 13-year-old self: choose your friends wisely. So if I could go back and tell my 16-year-old self something, I would say, girl, stretch as much as you can.

Here is what I would tell my 16-year-old self.

If I could go back in time and speak to my, I would say, between 14 and 16-year-old self, I would tell myself, listen to your mother. You know, when I think about what I would tell my 16-year-old self, I would tell that girl that she could trust her God. I would tell that girl that she needs to get into the Word of God and find out what the promises of God are for her life and what God says that she can do and who God says that she is.

I would tell her to slow down, be content, and don't chase men.

What would I tell my 14-year-old self? 14-year-old self.

Look, boys are great, but having one in your life is not the end-all be-all.

Go back to that 13-year-old self and worry more about your friends. You don't know everything, and it's perfectly fine that you don't. Uh, your mother is there as a resource rather than a restriction in your life. It may seem like she's trying to ruin your life or not let you have, um, fun, but she's gone before you. She She's made mistakes that you haven't made yet and she doesn't want you to make. So she's trying to help you.

God has amazing plans for you, but you are going to walk through some valleys that make it look like God has potentially forgotten about you. When God's promises seem doubtful, his lack of intervention hurtful, and his timing questionable, don't seek to get over the hard places that that you're going through, you've got to walk through them and walk through them with God.

Every time you get an opportunity to push beyond what you think you are capable and you feel the wind of God's Spirit behind you, do it. Stretch and keep on stretching. Go outside of your comfort zone and keep going outside of your comfort zone. That's how you build a track record with God. I think the most important thing I would tell you is that you are loved. And I know that sounds so basic, and I know you're probably rolling your eyes right now, but it's something that drives everything you do every day. You are looking for love in all the wrong places, and you don't know that you already are loved. Here's the good news: no matter how old you are, it's never too late for you to look and find a girl who's in her teenage years and to tell her what you want her to know right now. And what is that? No matter what specific piece of information or advice you give, here's the bottom line: you want that girl— your daughter, your niece, your cousin, your granddaughter, your mentee, your little friend. You want her to show up for her life today. I hope y'all enjoyed that. Okay, so I want to introduce someone to you. So Alina, would you come join me please? Y'all, welcome Alina Pitts up here. The famous, the infamous, ridiculously smart and beautiful Alina Pitts. Okay, so why don't you come on this side of me? Okay, so before we get to having a little chat, I wanted to read something. There is a dedication page and it says, for Alina, when I wonder what it looks like for a young woman to show up for her life, I think of you. Keep showing up, keep doing you, keep resting and believing in the beauty of whose you are. And for winter. This book is for girls just like you. She didn't know that. So I dedicated this book to Alina. You can go ahead and have a seat because— and I've said as much to her in the past. Oh, this seat is not big enough for my behind.

Hold on.

Okay, there we go. That's another telltale that I'm not 15. But anyway, I've told Alina this many times in one way or another. She has— I remember talking to her mom, Winter, when she was early elementary school, and Winter would tell me about Alina being so abnormal. She's like, kids just don't do this. And I said, what do you mean? And she said, well, oh, there you go. She said, well, we're still in the bed because we're trying to get as much sleep as we can, and Alina has been up, eaten her breakfast, made her lunch, and then she comes and wakes us up and says, Mom, Dad, I'm gonna be late for school. Is this a true story?

Not anymore, but yes.

But I remember her— you've always been smart, you've always been had an uncanny ability to communicate with a lot of people, your peers as well as adults. And then God has really given her some unique opportunities, and for each one of them, she has really just shown up and done what she's supposed to do. Many of you know Alina because she has— she starred as Priscilla Shire, who's my sister. She starred as her daughter in the film Danielle, right? That was the name. And so, do people really think you're pretty Chrystal Hurst's daughter in real life sometimes?

Um, whenever she posts pictures with me, people are always like, is that her daughter? They're just confused because she doesn't ever like clarify who I am. So some people do. I think they do.

Yeah, I know. Well, I think our whole family, everybody's trying to figure out who belongs to who, which kid belongs to who. But, but she did that, and you weren't trying to be an actress.

No, I was not.

So how did this— how did it even happen that you became an actress?

Honestly, I look back and I'm like, that doesn't make any sense. I think in the moment I was like, oh, this is normal. And then like Now, 4 years later, wow, 4 years.

4 years.

I look back and I'm like, that was crazy and I can't believe I did that. But basically, Priscilla Shire had gotten the part and they were looking for a little girl. They couldn't find one that matched the part but also had like the same lifestyle as a little girl who like believed in the same values and stuff. And so I was at a soccer practice one day and my mom got a call from her and she was like, hey, I think you should let Alina audition. Like, it would just be like fun. Not that she would get the part or anything, but it would be really fun for her to get to experience this, experience the audition. And so I went and I ended up getting a callback. Eventually I flew in to audition in person, and then shortly I got the part, which was just crazy.

So, well, aren't we glad that Lena got the part? Has everybody seen the movie? It's awesome. In addition to that, you sing.

Yes.

I was trying to get you today at my house singing.

Oh yeah.

And I mean, I stepped out with the camera like trying to get her. I was trying to be so quiet, and like I came out with the camera and lifted the camera up, and she was like, 'I see you.' I was like, 'I'm sorry.' But she has a beautiful voice that God has given the opportunity to minister in some awesome places. And tomorrow, actually, she's in town to be with me today, but also there's a big conference happening here in Dallas called IF, and, and, um, I think around 4,000 women will be in the audience. And I believe that that event streams to at least 3/4 of a million people around the world, and she'll have the opportunity to sing there. But you weren't looking to be a singer either initially.

Nope, I was not.

You were not. So, um, I really wanted to bring her here not just to say, hey, look, Alaina's been in a movie, and hey, look, um, she's a singer, and hey, look, she's doing all these things, but really What Alina— what I see in Alina, and the reason why I dedicated the book to you, was because— and I have another little letter I'll give you later— but some of what that says is, I see a lot of— this is gonna sound terrible or whatever, but I see a little of myself in you. And when I say that, I'm— what, here's what I mean. I like to do well. I like to get good grades. I like to, to experience new things. And the key is for you to keep showing up to your life. Um, I think a lot of us who are over the age of 18 or 25, we can look back at things that we were doing at 13, 14, 15, ways that we did see ourselves. Expectations that we did have for our lives. And then we go, what happened? You know, I never got around to that dream. I never actually kept working for that goal. I got sidetracked. Not all sidetracks are bad, but life happens. And thank you. Life happens, and sometimes we get distracted from the things that we love and the things that we want to do with our lives. And you are doing a lot of the things you love to do. My, my— and I was doing that, um, and we all know about my sidetrack. So when I look at you, I just think, oh, lean, keep showing up, keep showing up, because it's so very clear that God keeps opening doors for you. And the enemy, for you and for all of you girls in here, would want nothing more, nothing more. Here's the beautiful thing: if you believe in Jesus Christ He cannot take that away from you. But what he can take away from you is the abundant life that God has planned for you while you're here. He can, he could do that if he can distract you. So let me ask you a question. In what ways right now, because you're 14, soon to be 15, in what ways do you find yourself struggling with distraction? Being distracted from showing up to your life. Give me some examples of things that throw you off a little bit.

When I'm exhausted, which is quite often, because you like to nap. Yes, I do. So if I'm lacking in naps, that's just like the basic stuff. If I haven't had a nap like a little baby or I'm exhausted, I'm quite prone to getting distracted or just feeling groggy and complaining and I find myself like taking for granted the opportunities I've been given. And so even that, just like missing the pleasures of being normal, I guess, and being like a normal kid, I often take like— I wish sometimes that I was that. And I feel like that's probably my biggest distraction because I'm not able to do like normal things, I guess, which to some people sounds appealing. But for me, it's just like, I just want to be normal just for like, you know, like I just want to go to school. And not have to miss school to do things like this. And then I look back and I'm like, sorry, no, no, no, no, I'm continuing. You missed the end part. I'm still going. And then I realized that what God has to offer is like 10 times better than school or anything else of like the normal, I guess. So probably my biggest distraction is like wanting to be normal. But then I realized that missing school is really actually a blessing.

So, so I heard you talk about just wanting to sometimes have things happen differently in your life than the way they're happening, even though the way they're happening is a really cool blessing. And complaining can be a distraction because it can help you see, or keep you from seeing, the stuff that's good in your life. Anybody else in here struggle with complaining? Just— it could be a lot worse, but the way it is today, you don't like it. And you're not going to say enough about what you don't like. Old and young alike, it's the same thing. I actually, personally, I think that sometimes— um, well, I know that many times not choosing to be grateful, not choosing to be thankful, it's not even a distraction from what's coming. It's a distraction from what's right right now. You know, and so it keeps you from enjoying the presence. What about social media? Um, is that a thing?

Not for me, but I know for a lot of people it is. I feel like for me—

is it not for you?

I'm just not— I don't know, like, I never really post or anything, which I should probably do more often, but I don't know, I just don't get very distracted from social media.

Okay, okay.

Sorry, was I supposed to say?

No, no, you're supposed to be honest. Why do you think it is a thing? You have a lot of friends. It isn't that.

Image. It's a way to like stay in the know and like know whatever, whatever is going on, which can also be like a big burden. So yeah, self-consciousness.

And do you care about how many followers you have? Do you care?

No.

No, I don't think so. I think when it's actually a lot more pressure because you can't post like normal stuff, you know what I'm saying? Like you can't— everything you post. Yes, exactly. Um, you have to be really careful. And then also like you have to always post something with meaning because everyone wants meaning.

So, well, and you do that. You actually post these really long, deep journal entries.

That's all I post.

She's an incredible writer. She's an author too. That's the other thing. Your name is on how many books right now?

3.

3 books and she's 14. Okay, I got a question for you. When is the last time you had an ugly cry?

Like 2 days ago.

Why?

Why'd you have one?

Sometimes it's like missing my mom. Sometimes it's a bad day at school or like things are just building up. Like, uh, probably my ugliest cry was like last week. It was my mom's birthday and her 6-month anniversary of her death. So that was tough. Um, and I ugly cried. So, but I do it with my family, so it's not like—

Y'all all ugly cried together.

Yeah. Yeah.

If y'all, if y'all didn't know, her mom Winter, uh, is my cousin and, um, her Winter and her husband Jonathan moved to Dallas, um, when you were 1. And so, um, my sister and Winter and I, um, we raised our kids together. So I always refer to her as my sister cousin, and she passed away unexpectedly July 24th. So it's been rough. I mean, I'm sure you had a few of those.

Yep.

What has helped you, or what helps you when you're having your— because we all have ugly cries. I don't think we like to let other people know we're having them because that's— because they are ugly cries. Our face gets all contorted. We don't like anybody to know that we're just broke down like that, messed up, you know, jacked up from the floor, all that. So we try to hide that, but we all all have one. And there's nothing— actually, it's cleansing, don't you think? Yes, it's cleansing. So what word of encouragement would you say when you're having your low moments? And maybe it's an ugly cry, maybe it's just a tear that falls. What helps you to, um, to kind of not so much push past it but just work your way through it?

Um, for me, I sit in it. I feel like we try to like stuff it away and like we just push it to another part of our heart and it just like kind of stays there. And for me, it comes, it becomes like really heavy, and I try to like just push it away, like don't experience the real hurt. And I was reading through Psalms and how David— I love Psalms because David was very like brutally honest. And but I realized that the beginning of Psalms is like very depressing and he's crying out to God, and then the end is full of like praise and rejoicing. So I always, yes, I ugly cry and I sit in it, and then I rejoice for what is. And I pick myself— ask God to pick me back up so I can keep going.

So, I mean, I was chuckling because I was thinking, okay, when she finishes talking, I'm gonna talk about David in the Psalms.

And then you start—

yes, David in the Psalms. And so I'm gonna say this first of all. So you read your Bible without your parents making you?

Yes, I do now. It was not easy. It was not easy.

Okay, so what's changed that?

I feel like when you've been like broken, or you have— I feel like even before my mom, I was in my Bible. But when you have, like, when it's your last resort, sadly, like, I feel like God breaks us sometimes so we come, like, running to him. And then also, like, when you experience pressure and different things and you can't go talk to anyone else about it because it's kind of personal. I mean, God is there.

So God is there. Listen, it's not too early to show up for your life. Um, with reading your Bible and your relationship with God. So as a mom, my kids sometimes will say to me, you know, why do I have to go to church? And I'm like, 'Cause it's my job to take you.' Um, and, and I know, I know this to be true, that there are things that you— that drive you crazy that your parents make you do when you're a teenager, and then later you're so glad that they made you— not everything, but a lot of the things that they make you do, you're glad that they made you do. And of course, spending time in God's word was one of them. But your You don't have to wait until your parents make you. You don't have to. You can just crack it open, have a version that makes sense to you. If you don't have one, ask your parents for one. Trust me, they'll be overjoyed that you asked them. Oh, glory to Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus.

She wants a Bible. They'll be overjoyed. And then just pray and tell the Lord, you know, tell God, say, hey, look, I'm trying to do this thing here. I'm trying to read it. Some of this doesn't make sense to me. Would you make yourself known? Just ask him. Say, I want to know you. I hear that it's the right thing to do. Would you just make yourself known? The other thing she talked about, that ugly cry— one of the things that makes you human, makes us all human, is that we experience pain. Laughter and joy, that too, but pain is a part of the process. And feeling it and knowing what you feel— I talked to so many women who have spent so long stuffing stuffing their feelings, they just walk around numb. They're just numb. Because if you don't want to feel the hard stuff, you don't feel the good stuff either. You just— they both, they both work together. So if you want to cry, cry. Let the tears fall and don't feel weird about it. And if the people who love you say, what's wrong? And you don't want to talk about it, it's okay to say, it's— I'll be okay.

I don't—

I, I just— I'm just hurting and I don't really want to talk about it. It's okay to say that. It's okay to say that. Okay. Oh Lord, we got a fancy iPad. I don't know how to work it. Okay, so let me also ask you about self-image. Okay, self-image. Do you struggle with identity, feeling like you're valuable, feeling like you're God's masterpiece, knowing that you're fearfully and wonderfully made? All of the things that you've told me that you've got a lot of books on that come your way that say that, um, that, that tell you that, you know, you're like God's gem and, you know, you need— okay, so do you struggle with that?

Yes.

Okay, so we got all the books, got parents who love you, you've been raised in a loving family, and you struggle with that. Why do you struggle with that?

Why, why, why? If you know it, I feel like we're all beautiful women and I feel like we compare ourselves to others a lot, and none of us were made to be shaped the same, to look the same, have the same skin color. And like, I find myself looking around, I'm like, I look nothing like her. I look nothing like her. I look nothing like her. Especially if you look very different, like in a crowd of people. So I feel like that you find yourself like comparing and then just thinking like, is something— should I look like that? Like, is something wrong with me? And so I feel like that's why a lot of girls struggle. With it.

Okay, so vulnerable moment here. What is one struggle that you have about you? Because you just talked about don't look like that, I don't— this shape, that it— like, what is— give me an example.

Oh gosh, I feel like the one thing I struggle with is having curves or like big thighs, because— meaning my thighs?

What, you, you think you have them or you wish you had them?

No, I think I have them.

Oh, I have—

I mean, they're not ginormous, but they're not— I'll trade you. I can't wear I can't wear leggings with like no shirt. That's what I'm saying. Like with no like big shirt over it, you know, because it's too much. So what?

It's okay.

So I feel like especially for like curvier people or even people who are skinny and don't know why, I feel like that's a problem. Like just embracing the way you're shaped and the way you're naturally shaped is how God created you.

Do you feel like even though you're not there, that you've learned anything about what— I mean, like, practically, if there are girls in here like, okay, okay, it's her curves for her, for me it's my hair, or for me it's my nose, or, you know, for me it's the way I talk, or the way my teeth are aligned in my mouth, or, you know, whatever, I have man hands, whatever it is, like, that's another insecurity. Okay, so So what do you do? What can you practically say to the girls who are here? Like, what do you do mentally? I don't know, in that moment, to not compound the insecurities on them, on themselves?

Well, you can't do it yourself. For me, I speak truth over myself. So I know Jo Saxon is a really good speaker, speaker, and I love listening to her. And she basically, like, every time she would get out of the shower, she would stand in front of the mirror and just like declare truth over every single one of her body parts, and that, like, it works. Like, once you're speaking through the mirror, like, tell me what you say.

I'm trying to not see you naked in the mirror or me naked in the mirror right now, but, but when that's happening, like, like you said, declare truth. What, like, give me words. Like, I want, I want people to get, like, this is what it looks like.

So the verse, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.

So you literally just speak scripture? Yeah, as you look at your body.

Or you say things that God would say about you. You're beautiful. You're created in my image. Yeah.

Okay. Let me just tell you, I've tried that whole mirror situation.

Really? Wait, you don't think it works?

No, no, no.

I do think it works.

It is uncomfortable.

It is uncomfortable. I was going to say, particularly like the first time, you're like, why am I lingering here? Like, this is, this is not what I need to be doing. But, but there is a tangible connection. And this, this is like, this is not just about image or body, or it— this is so big. There is a tangible connection between what comes out of your mouth and how you think. Then there's a tangible connection between how you think and how you feel. And then there's a tangible connection between how you think, how you feel, and what you do. So many times when we're looking at our lives and there are things about it, we're like, I can't believe something is this way, or I can't believe this has happened that way. If you retrace your steps, I bet you, you can retrace them back to some of the very words you've spoken over your own life. And if it's not your own words, maybe it's the words that other people have spoken over your life. So how do you fix that? You change what you say, because guess who's listening? When you're talking. You are, you are. So it seems like a really simple, basic thing, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling y'all, be the crazy person who talks to themself in the mirror. You will change the way you think, you'll change the way you feel. And it doesn't mean you won't have to do it a few times or many times or over many years. It just means you will learn how to flip your brain when your brain wants to take you down a track that's not healthy. Okay, so boys, are you skinning up your face?

It just is weird.

We're doing this here. We're doing this with me, with you, because you're afraid of what I might say, probably.

Yeah, just a little bit.

Okay, I'm the crazy— am I the crazy aunt? Do y'all look at me like that?

I have crazy Mm, you're one of them.

You're up there. I'm one of them. Yeah, I'm Crazy Aunt Chrissy. That's what they tell me. Because I kind of say things that they're like, stop talking about that. Okay, so boys, so is it a thing for you right now? And by is it a thing, is there somebody who likes you? Is there somebody you like? Is it a struggle? Hope they're not watching, but just in generalities.

I mean, yeah, there's boys that I think are cute.

Oh, okay.

What?

My gosh. Yeah, there are boys that I think are cute, and there are boys that think I'm attractive, just like there are boys that you think are cute, like there are boys that think you're attractive.

So, well, that was nice and safe. Okay, so, so basically, um, do they present a distraction for you? Right now in this season of your life?

Yes, I think sometimes, sometimes. But I feel like freshman boys are just like stupid.

Like, that's not nice.

Not stupid. I mean, they're like still figuring themselves out, you know?

So they'll be figuring themselves out for a while.

Yeah.

So they're, they're fun to look at, but like, other than that, I mean, Yeah.

Okay. So I guess here's the question. Well, do you know how old you have to be to date yet? Have you and your dad had that conversation? I think y'all have actually.

We have.

Oh, well, he had it with me.

So what did he say?

I'm not telling you. What has he said to you? What do you— when do you think you get to date?

I don't know. I think before I can even date a guy, it doesn't matter how old I am. If my father doesn't like him, it's a no-go, obviously. And I also think— I don't know what age, maybe 16 or something.

Maybe 16.

Okay, what did he say?

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I do think though that what you just said is important. You just said, if my father doesn't like him, it's a no-go. And it kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier about listening. My mother used to tell me, she said, we, we just know it when we see it, and you just have to trust us. That we can see things you can't see. And I was like, no, you can't see everything because you don't see what I love about him. You don't know him like I know him. You're not giving him a chance. I would do all that. And so, and let me tell you something, there are things they can see that you cannot see. It's like magic. It's just like the older you get and the longer you live, You just can see things coming a mile away. It's just, it's just, it just happens. But here's the thing with dads, okay? Or if your dad is not in your home, with uncles or grandfathers or big brothers, they have that extra special gift because not only can they see, uh, maybe because of the, the years that they have on you, but they're also the guy and they know how guys think. And listen, ladies, If it doesn't apply now, it will apply later. So just don't forget that Chrystal Hurst said it, okay? Crazy Aunt Chrissy, this is what she said. I know, I'm just like, here comes it. If I forgot my thought, hold on. I know it was gonna be good too. Hold on. Oh, it's gone. But the bottom line was, um, dads have— men have an extraterrestrial ability. Terrestrial. Terrestrial. How do you say it? I don't know. Terrestrial. Is that it?

I think so.

Extraterrestrial ability to see things even mom can't see because they think the way— oh, that's what I was going to say. I don't care how well you know him, how much you like him, how cute he is, and about the deep conversations y'all have via Snapchat. Here's what I'm saying. I'm telling you, you don't know the man's mind. It's just different. And the more you get to know men as you get older and you work with them, and maybe you have brothers or you marry one— listen, it's just different. So if you have a man in your life, your dad, your grandfather, who can speak into the young men— that should first be friends, and then you fall in love. You probably shouldn't date anyway until you're 21, but anyway, that's okay. That's what I'm gonna tell your dad. I'm gonna tell your dad 21. I'm gonna tell him that's my recommendation, and you know he thinks I'm wise. But trust the male, the male counterparts that God has given you in your life to speak into your life, even when you don't think they know what they're talking about. You'll realize later that they do. Okay, let's see here. We've got a couple of moments for a couple more questions, and I'm gonna open up the floor to you all. So if there's anything that you want to ask Lena or myself, be thinking about that question. We'll have a chance in a moment for you to do that. Okay, Lena, I'm gonna tell you now, and if you need to think, that's okay. Do you have anything you've ever wanted to ask me? I don't know.

No, um, you're like, no, because you put it all in the book. I didn't read it. Or you say it out loud.

Uh, you can think about it. You don't have to have anything. I just wanted to let you know that you can.

Okay.

And I will answer in front of people, no problem at all. Okay, when I say to you— well, What is your happy place besides snapping and being asleep? What is your happy place?

Um, if I love when people— when I'm traveling and I have like a piano somewhere that I like find or something, not that I play piano really well, but I can sing along to it so it makes more fun to sing. So like when I was at Chrystal Hurst's house today, I was like, oh my gosh, she has an amazing piano. Like, let me go play because I don't have anything like while I'm gone, like away from my house to to like recharge. So music is my way of recharging. Naps, like you said, and then probably like watercolor and like cardstock paper. I love watercolor and like making pretty sayings and stuff.

So I didn't know that.

Yeah, my whole wall is like full of them.

You like pens. I know that.

Yes, you like pens.

So do you intentionally make time for those things? Like the piano? I know you'll get in your room, sit on the floor, and do the thing, but are you intentional about, you know what, these things make me happy, and so I'm gonna just tell my dad no, I'm not going today, I want to stay home from whatever's happening on Saturday because I just want to be home and do the things I like to do.

I have moments like I'm just gonna stay home today, but I don't intentionally like sit down on my piano and be like, I'm gonna have time to play the piano right now, or I'm gonna go watercolor. Like, I don't have that kind of— it's more of like sporadic. If I'm feeling like gloomy, I'll play, or really kind of I go with however I feel, I guess. I don't honestly, like, I'm not intentional.

Well, be, be aware that the older you get, the more intentional you want to be about those things. For the young ladies who are watching and listening, what advice would you give them for how to figure out their happy place? Because older women and younger women alike both sometimes go, I don't even— I don't even— I just have to do all the things I have to do all the time. I don't even know what I like.

Um, whatever you can do, like, and it's like timeless. Like, I could sit at the piano all day and like not think about the time or like, okay, I'm done doing this. Like, I could literally play it all day. I have done that and my dad had to make me leave my room. But like, if you sit, like, do whatever you think you might like. And then trying new things is not bad, but I feel like for me, I was doing so many things and I had to like stop because I didn't know what I liked anymore. So I feel like getting to know yourself personally, like alone time with just yourself, like what are the things you aspire to be or like dream about? And those are probably connected to what your happy place is.

Being alone sometimes means being bored. Are you okay with being bored?

I'm never bored when I'm alone. That's my— I love being alone, but I know a lot of people don't like that, so I can't— I don't have any advice to like people that— to actually—

so I'm curious, of the girls here who are here under the age of 18, okay, all of you raise your hands. All of you raise your hands. Just put your hands up if you're under 18. I'm not— it's not a trick. Somebody's like, oh my gosh, what is she about to do? Just raise your hands. Keep them up. Okay, now of those of you who have your hands up, If you love being alone, put your hands down. If you love people, keep your hands up. Okay, see, it's about half and half. Yeah, so we've got half of the girls here who are like, please God, leave me alone in my room, thank you Jesus. And then you have the rest of you who are like, I want to be around people, this is exciting if I'm around people. Okay, in either case, you can put your hands down. In either case, I This is Aunt Chrissy's word to you, okay? Some of— some— for all of us, for all of us, often the greatest discoveries of what we love come when we're alone or bored. It doesn't mean it has to, but sometimes the noise of what everybody else is doing, it's so loud you actually don't know what you want to do. So don't be afraid, particularly those of you who are extroverts, who are love people, of having those moments where there's nothing going on and thinking to yourself, okay, so it's just me. What will make me happy being with just me? And do that. And it's okay because you don't want to have to always have people to, to spur you on. Um, sometimes I think as an introvert, for the other half of you girls who you would just love to be alone all the time, um, what do you ever feel like? Okay, I've got to come out and like be with people. Like it's good for me to come out and be with people.

Yes.

And why is that?

I feel like if I sit by myself and my emotions for too long, like it's dangerous, like I get too deep. And my dad is really good at being intentional and making sure I get out and stuff. Like, I'm not a hermit, guys. I like people. But if I could, like, choose a hotel room by myself or like a party, I'd choose a hotel room by myself. I don't think that's unhealthy, but I think sometimes it can be if you're like not engaging with other people because they teach you things.

So speaking of teaching you things, I think all of the ladies here that are over 18 would love to hear maybe a thing or two that you could teach us or tell us that we may not be aware of in terms of what you think as a 14, almost 15-year-old girl that I could know as a mom or an aunt or big a sister or a grandmother about the teenage girls in my life and what they need. I know you're not the end-all be-all for all teenage girls everywhere, but if you just could say, you know what, in this day and age with the teenagers I know, here's what we really need from our moms, our aunties, our grandmothers, our mentors, our big sisters. What, what would you say?

I think what I loved about my mom is that she was very honest and like open about like what she had done. So that way I understood why she was telling me like the things that she was telling me. And so if I asked a question, like she would answer it, like, of course, with like wisdom, but like she wasn't afraid of certain questions or like afraid of talking about certain things that happened in her past. Like she was very open and honest. And I, so I think we all desire like realness and like vulnerability from our parents just so that we know that like they've been there. So that we know that they've done that same thing and then it makes more sense to why they're saying what they're saying.

I can tell you what some of the mommies and aunties and big sisters and mentors are thinking often if they're not being honest. We're like, if I tell them I did it and I turned out okay, then they're going to think it's okay for them to do it. Which I understand that what you're saying, but sometimes for some of us, that's, that's a part of the reality. It's like, okay, well, how much do they need to know? And so to hear you say that she shared with wisdom, that's helpful, but vulnerability is an important part. I'm curious, for those of you who are in the room who are over 18, do you tend to— put your hands all up, all up. Okay, if you are the tell-it-like-it-is kind, keep your hand up. If you are the I-really-struggle-to-talk-about-things, put your hand down. Okay, so we've got about two-thirds that'll tell it like it is and a third that are like, please, guys, I don't want to have that conversation. Vulnerability. Anything else that would be helpful for us mommies, aunties, mentors, big sisters, grandmothers to know?

Um, I think intentional one-on-one time is really helpful too. Um, and then like also I kind of hated that my mom was like better friends with all my friends than I was, um, with my friends. But then like ultimately like my friends now look up to her because of like the wisdom she poured into them. So I feel like when moms are present, when your daughter's friends are around, like, yes, that is annoying at sometimes, but like they desire to know like what you think, especially for the ones that don't have the same family structures and things like that. Like my friends are so grateful for my mom because she taught them so much.

So, so was she just around or was she just really having fun with y'all?

She was just fun. She would just like goof around.

Mom, stop.

Yes, yes, yes. But my friends loved her, so eventually I just gave up.

So basically ignore your teenage girls when they want you to leave the room.

I didn't say that.

Oh, sorry.

That's what I heard. That's what I thought you said. No, but I think, you know, just the word she used was being present. And I think sometimes as older women, you know, we're just trying to stay out of the way, let the girls have their space, and there's a place for that. But there's also a place— maybe not your daughter, maybe your daughter's the one saying, 'Mom, stop.' But there are other girls in the room who might be craving the connection that you're offering, or craving the kind of relationship with their mom that you have with their daughter, and want to have that connection. So it's okay every now and then to just hang around every now and then? Every now and then. Okay, so if it involves food, yeah, meaning I can eat the food or I could just bring the food?

No, like, you— if you take us out to eat, then you can really be a part of like the group. Oh, like if you get—

see what she just did there? Manipulation in full effect. Okay, any questions for me before we open it up to the audience?

I don't think I have any.

That's awesome, that means I've done my job. Okay, do y'all have any questions? And you can just speak loud, but I'll repeat your question. So go ahead. First of all, is it for me or Alina?

Okay.

Yes, I would love to.

Okay, we'll do it after. We'll do it. Tell me your name, sweetie. Madison. Madison has all 3 of your books, brought her own Sharpie, and wants you to sign them. I just want you to know that nobody stood up and said that this is supposed to be my party, but that's okay.

I'm not—

I'm not— not scalded by that. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Okay, who else has a question? Yes, ma'am.

What is it that gets you? What is it that drives you to take a nap?

Is it tired or is it—

what is it that you guys love so much about naps?

So the question is, is why do you like to take naps? Are you tired or are you just wanting to be in sleep because there's joy in sleep?

Both, I think. I'm always exhausted. Um, and then also it's like fun, like I enjoy it. And I think that's because I watched my mom do it. And so like monkey see, monkey do, and I did it and it was like, oh, this is amazing. Like, let me keep doing this. So I think I receive joy in doing it. And then I'm also tired, like after school I'm exhausted.

So you consider yourself a low energy person or high energy person?

Very low energy. Yeah.

Do you have a daughter who likes to nap? You think so? Yes, ma'am. So now that you enjoy— I'm repeating the question so everybody can hear who's watching. Now that you have a modicum of popularity— you like that big word I just threw on you?

Uh-huh.

I was like, what is it?

I know, look it up. So do you, do you have a way that you weed out fake friends? Do you even— are you even concerned concerned about fake friends?

Um, yeah, it's not my like top priority. Like I'm nice to everyone, but it's for me, it's never been hard for me to tell like who's really there. My thing is like if you're like in the darkest of that, in the darkest place you've ever been, like whoever's there like still cheering you on, they're probably your real friend, which I've seen play out in my life. And then I don't know, I feel like I take a while to become like really good friends with someone anyways. Like I'm not quick to like trust and just like be your best friend, I guess. So I feel like a part of my personality is also like, let me like check you out before like we're besties, you know?

Okay, that's good. That's good advice in general. Becoming— this chair, my behind are not doing— they're not friends right now. Oh, Jesus, help me be a fence. Okay, so it's a good thing to take your time getting to know people. It's a good thing, and it's okay to find somebody that's a fast friend, but take a minute to make sure that they're a good fast friend. Any other questions? We've got a few minutes for more. Yes, ma'am. Hi.

Okay, so we have a 17-year-old.

Eliana, I know who you are, asking a question about wanting to walk the tightrope between maintaining her Christian values in a world that has changing values and knowing where she needs to be with her Christian beliefs. I mean, isn't that the question? I mean, I feel like Tony Evans needs to be here to answer that question, but I Do you have any thoughts before I say what I have to say?

No, I think you should do this one.

I'm not— you're not a theologian either. You know what, Ellie, I think, um, a couple of things. First of all, there are ways that people who believed in Jesus Christ 100 years ago thought about things that we do not think about them now. Same scriptures, same principles, but the the application of the scriptures changed with the changing of society. There is a healthy— there is a healthy form of change, um, in the sense that when Jesus came, the Pharisees were doing it one way, the Sadducees were doing it one way, and he came on the scene and did it a totally different way. And they were like, you know, who, who are you and why are you changing things up? So even within the body of Christ and even within believers with the changing of times, there are the changing of application because Jesus exemplified that. I think the question that you're asking though goes back to, to two, to two things. Number one, it's your relationship with Jesus. It is not you intellectually trying to sift everybody else's opinion and make it make sense to you, because the Bible says that when we Um, when we try to use our own reasoning, we jack ourselves up. The Bible says that, okay? But that said, um, there's a lot that comes from our relationship with Christ. But here's the problem: sometimes we make Jesus say what we want him to say, and we blame a lot of the thoughts that we have on, well, you know, I just feel, and I love Jesus, and so I just feel, and we water down, um, the truth of the gospel and the truth of the scripture because we love Jesus and he loves us, and we want to be connected to the culture in which we live. So the first thing is your relationship, because he will guide and direct you. But the primary way he guides and directs you is through his word. And what, what one thing separates so many people in the culture that we have right now is whether or not they are basing their opinion and the way they feel on the word. And the only way that you will know if what is shifting culturally, but that's still okay based on the word, is if you actually know the word. You have to know it, you have to study it so that when people come up and it's challenging and maybe you feel bad because of how you see things, it's not based on, okay, it's what my parents taught me or what I've heard at my church for, you know, 17 years. I actually have read it for myself and this is what it says. You know, in there there's still different opinions with certain things, but A lot of what I see is just straight up people haven't read the Bible. They haven't read it. And so they're convinced and they're swaying based on he say, she say, and not what God says. So he does love you. The Holy Spirit does live in you and he can speak. But the first place he speaks to you and gives you guidance is through his word. So I hope that's helpful. If not, you can talk to me later and call me later. Yes, ma'am. Okay, so the question is, is how old were you, Alina, when you first started developing your relationship with Christ for yourself, and what did your mom do or your parents do to help weave that importance of Christ into your home?

I think I'm growing. I'm continuing to grow in him. Like, it's not like you hit a mark and you're like really close with God. I think that I continue to learn more and more about him. I feel like I first started probably— I mean, as I grew up a Christian, like my whole life, my family's a Christian. Um, so I feel like my whole life I knew God was real, but I feel like not until I was like 10 years old I probably like grasped the realness of it, um, just because I could see like obviously God is doing something in my life, um, and then I was able to look and watch like God work through my parents' life and just everyone around me, um, so he became more real to me probably when I was 10, um, and then the next question was it was how did your parents create that environment in the home, um I feel like they were always very, like, open about what they believed in, and they were very, like, they wanted us to believe in it, but ultimately, like, it was our decision. Well, it is our decision. Um, so I feel like they weren't, like, forcing it on us to where, like, it made us want to shy away from it. Like, I feel like they had a good balance of, like, taste and see that the Lord is good, and he is good. Like, not so much, like, because we say he's good, he's good. And so I feel like for my personality type, I needed that because if someone were to like try to force it on me, like I would not have it, I guess. So my parents, for each of my, for each of me and my sisters, I have 3 sisters, so we're all very, very different. And so their ways are very different with all of us. But then even simple things like praying before we leave the house, like acknowledging that there's a God and he's in control of our day, doing devotionals at dinner, not that that was like pretty or perfect at all, like it usually ended in tears. It still does because someone's fidgeting or someone won't be quiet or be still. Um, so, and then they also, um, were very humble and like if they messed up, like they would apologize. So even like seeing God's character through them, I feel like, um, yeah, that's good.

Um, real quick before I take the last question, so if you have a question, get ready to shoot your hand up. I'm gonna go back to Eliana. One other thing I just thought of that I want to say. And for all of you girls, you've been— if you've been raised in a Christian home and you've been taught all these things and you studied the Bible, you have your relationship with God, and you're still trying to figure some things out, it's okay to say I don't know. It's okay to not have the answer. And don't let anybody who's challenging what you believe or who's raising questions with what you believe make you feel bad for saying, you know, I hear what you're saying and I don't know, I'll have to think about that, or I'll have to research it. It's okay to take your time to work things out in your mind. Okay, last question. Raquel, how do you deal with drama within or outside your friend group? Friend drama, how do you deal with that?

It's like my least favorite thing ever. I feel like because I grew up, like, I feel like most of my friendships were never like super dramatic or anything until like you hit high school and then you're like, oh, like people are different. And so I feel like I don't have this down. Like, I'm still struggling with this if I'm being totally honest. Ultimately loving others. If you're a Christian, like you want to show love and that doesn't mean you have to accept everything that person is doing or like hang out with them because you want to show them Jesus. Distance is like, sometimes you have to do distance, and sometimes you have to like remove yourself from a person's life if it's not healthy. But then doing it in a graceful way to where you're still showing them God's love so that they might take something away from it. Like, not that she wants to like be mean to me and leave me alone. Like, no, she showed me God's love, and like something's different about her. And that maybe like you leaving their life or you showing them love and like gracefully gracefully leaving would like show them something, you know. But I'm still struggling with that, like I'm still learning.

And so are we. Amen, everybody over 18. Okay, listen, friend drama is friend drama, and you have to work on loving people regardless of your age. So just know, Raquel, that you are in training, and it is something that will benefit you for the rest of your life. We love our girls, but sometimes, you know, we girls You know, it's a thing. So here's the deal. We all thank me for having Alina to join me tonight and just being here with so much fun and sharing so much wisdom. I think you're really smart, like book smart and life smart. Okay, if you have been with us this long, I'm so grateful because we have some giveaways even for our live audience. So I'm gonna let Shante come up here at this time and handle that. So if you've been watching, I'm glad you hang on.

All right guys, let's give them a round of applause one more time. All right, so for the last giveaway for tonight, those pop— I say popcorn sticks— those popsicle sticks, everyone had a chance to write a mother-daughter date idea on there. If you have, go ahead and raise it up and they're gonna come around and grab those. And if you did not, you still have time to, um, to write it on there. Um, what we're gonna do is we're going to, since the book released on the 5th, we're gonna pull 5 out. We're gonna read them, but the 5th person, um, pop the, um, popsicle stick that we pull out, if it's yours, just let us know and you'll be the winner. So it'll be the 5th person that we pull out of the box. All right. Did anybody else need more time with those? You do? Oh, take your time. And then also parents or guardians with those, um, what I want you to know cards. Did everyone write on theirs yet? So the biggest part about showing up for your life is having a support system. And what one thing that, um, I got out of tonight was that we can all learn from each other. The young generation can learn from the new, uh, the older generation and vice versa. So at the end of the night, make sure that you, personally hand that to, um, the loved one that you brought with you. I would prefer you read it to them because I feel like it'll make— mean more than them just reading it on the card. But right now we're gonna have one person in the audience, Candace, come up and read her cards that she wrote for the young ladies that she brought with her. So everybody give Candace a round of applause.

Okay, I'm hot and pregnant, so I'ma sit because I brought 4— well, I brought 3 and then got a 4th one added, so this is gonna take a second. So, um, I'm gonna start with Blake because you were sitting next to me. So Blake, I think you are one of the most creative girls I know. I And I love your confidence and how you are choosing to let your gifts be expressed for others to see and for God's glory. And I want to encourage you to continue to do that, um, and never stop and never let anyone's criticism or judgment of you stop you from being whoever God has called you to be in any season of your life.

Got it.

Remember that I'm gonna write it down too. Okay. And then I have Chelsea. Chelsea is— Chelsea reminds me of myself because she is just creative and easily distracted, all the things I was at her age and still can be now at 33. But Chelsea, I am— I'm confident that you're going to be fine. And I tell your parents this all the time. They talk to me about you and I tell them She's going to be okay. She might not be the straight-A student. I wasn't. She might not have a 4.0 in college. I didn't. But she is going to do something in this, in this world that's going to be so radical and so different and so different from what you guys are used to that it's going to impact so many people. So I assure them of that because I am confident of that, because you have such a great heart. You love people and you are a go-getter. So I have no No doubts. You might not take the normal path, but you're going to be just fine. And that is really okay. And Jada, why are you hiding? Come out, Jada, come out. Which is actually what I would like to say to you, Jada. You do not have to be afraid to be who you are. Your interests might be different from your peers. You might be gifted in areas that a lot of your friends are not. And that's okay and it's good. That's what God put in you and that's how he made you. Your home life may not be what everybody else's is or what it, you know, which everybody else comes to school talking about, but it's okay. That is your unique story. And as you get older, you're going to meet people who need your story. So don't be ashamed of it and don't hide it, but live it and be proud of it and grow in every area that you can. Because it's going to be helpful to someone else. And the more you accept it, the more free you will be.

Okay. Love you. Taylor, what's up, girl?

So Taylor, I've gotten to watch you the longest. I've known you the longest out of all 4 of you. And Taylor, I am just impressed because when I first met you, you were very, very quiet. And I've taken you to things before and you didn't talk much. I'd be like, hmm, I don't know how to get through to this one. But now to see you blossoming and in the 8th grade, you're about to embark on high school and to see your confidence and you coming into yourself and knowing who you are. I'm so proud of you for that and just want to encourage you to continue to take your own path and not worry about what everyone else is saying and doing. And continue to be good at the things that you're good at. In the car, we were talking about things that we all loved and hated, and she was the only one that likes math. That's awesome. So continue to pursue those things. And even if you end up being the only girl in a room because you're the only girl that's really good at some of the things in your circle, it's totally great. We need you there. So represent us well. So continue. Now, I love all 4 of you, and I'm so proud of all of you, and I'm glad you're here with me.

All right guys, so I'm going to give the giveaway for the 5 sticks that we put out. Remember the 5th one, the last one, I'll reannounce it. That's gonna be the winner. So if it's yours, make sure you raise your hand. And then also, I don't want the live people to think that we forgot about you. So I'm going to announce the winners from both the Instagram, the Facebook, and the YouTube Live. So the winner from Instagram is Robin Robinson. The winner from Facebook is Tiffany Williams, and the winner from the YouTube is Brenda, uh, Basie. So what I want you guys to do— so that's Robin Robinson, Tiffany Williams, and Brenda Basie— I need you to email Chrystal at chrystalhurtz.com, and we will mail out your gift to you. All right guys, y'all ready? All right, so the first one, it says breakfast, then to Texas Tulips in Denton, then a picnic. So that's one idea. Put that back in there. The next one is having a— oh, have a picnic. So that's a good idea. All right. This one says, go to the mall and hang out and get new outfits for new age. I like that. All right, and the next one is go to a worship concert. And the winner— so before I announce the winner, you're gonna win this box that has all the ideas in there, so you can never say you don't have an idea to go on a date night with your parents. And then also to get you started, we have a movie pass for you and, um, whoever brought you with you. All right. So the last one says take an acting class. Oh, look at that. Well, you won. All right guys, give yourself a round of applause. All right. And we're going to have closing announcement with Chrystal Hurst.

Okay, so for those of you who are here tonight, I just want to say thank you for coming in. For those of you who have been hanging out with us online, thank you for watching. I think that if I have a closing thought for you, it would be that we really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really do need each other. And how we need each other changes over time. Let me tell you what I mean. When my oldest daughter, Charis, who is now 27 and a mother of 2— I have 2 grandchildren— I'm living someone else's life right now because I really am still just 17. But anyway, it's okay. I have 2 grandchildren. But when she was about the age that my granddaughter is now, I was so excited when she was old enough to behave so I could take her to Barnes Noble because I loved going to Barnes Noble and I wanted to be able to sit with a book and have some coffee. And she was old enough, finally, through her terrible twos, to be able to sit for a while, and she could look at her magazines with her hot chocolate, and I would look at my magazines or my books with my coffee. And I remember thinking, I hope we keep doing this. And over the years, this changed. My 27-year-old daughter, when she was in her teenage years and we were going at each other's throats— because we did go for each other's throats I remember thinking, I gotta figure out how to connect with her again. And we were— because we were homeschooling, there was this thing we had to do, which was discuss history. And who wants to discuss history with their mom? So every Wednesday night, I would— my husband would take our boys to the church for Awana, and she and I would go to Red Robin. We had a standing date at Red Robin every Wednesday night. And she was like, if you feed me, I'll do my schoolwork. And I was like, okay. We can both eat and have a good time. So Red Robin became the thing. Later on, I would visit her in college and Starbucks was the thing. But we always had a little thing we would do together. She's 27, as I told you before. And now I will tell you, back up for a second. When she left for college, I remember thinking, what's wrong with me? I just felt blah. I just felt lonely. I just felt— and I wasn't the kind of mom that was like, oh my goodness, my kids are leaving, I don't have anything to do. I wasn't that kind of mom. I just remember feeling her— the loss of her. I remember feeling that. So fast forward, she's 27 now, and a couple weeks ago she came over and we didn't do jack squat. She let her kids run around and eat crackers all over my house. They were messing everything up and she was on the couch And then we turned on a movie that, you know, everybody could watch, the grandkids, my sons included. And I just thought, it's so cool to have her with me. She's an adult and she's my friend. And she calls me now and says, "Mom, will you just tell me what to do?" Because now she actually thinks I know what I'm talking about. And I told her jokingly, I said, "I'm glad we're friends because you know this thing goes in reverse." You know, this thing started out with me changing your diapers. Eventually you're going to change mine. You need your mama. You need your auntie. You need your grandmother. You need that mentor. You need that big sister. And one day, because time is a funny thing, she will need you. So the relationship you have with the woman who brought you tonight, or the woman who you're watching with tonight, the woman who's gonna get you a copy of this book, And we've got study guides online and everything for you to walk through this. Ideas for dates with your daughter online, all that stuff. The woman who cared enough with you to tell you about this livestream or to bring you here tonight, you need her and she needs you. So part of showing up for your life is just showing up for your life. But when you do that, you'll be surprised how you may end up showing up for hers. And at the end of the day, the Bible in Titus 2 talks about women teaching each other. And that's basically what we're talking about tonight. All I did in this book was to say, you know what, let me tell you a few things I know that I've told my daughter and that I want to tell you too. And, um, the hope that I have is that the women who are in this room and that are watching are willing to tell you from their own life what they've learned about how to show up for yours. We need each other. So look at your mom with eyes of compassion. Listen to your grandmother. Heed your big sister's advice. That crazy aunt that you have, she has something to say too. And just know that even though she may embarrass you every now and again, she loves you with everything she's got, and she wants the best for you. And that includes is you showing up for your life. Can I just pray over everybody real quick? Lord Jesus, in the Bible, in Genesis, you made the man and you created him, but then when it uses the words for women, you fashioned us. You took some time to make us wonderfully complex creatures. And because we're wonderfully complex, there's a lot of things we have to balance and juggle. What the world says we are or not as women, what we have to balance as adults with families and work and education and our dreams, what we have to think about in terms of the people that are depending on us and the people we want to be. It's, it's just kind of this whole hodgepodge of things that are specific and unique to women. But God, you also said in your word, not only did you fashion us wonderfully complex, but you gave us to each other. You said, you know what, be sure, women, as you live this life and you learn what it means to live successfully successfully, even in your wonderfully complex worlds. Be sure not to forget to tell the women behind you, a little younger than you, with a little less life on them, what you know. So Lord, I pray that you would take this book to places I could never go, and I pray that beyond the story that I've written here, I pray that for every woman who has a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a little sister, a mentee, or a young friend I pray that you in her, in her sphere of influence would convince and convict her to show up for her life by sharing the parts of her story that can help that younger girl, because that's what you told us to do. And each one of our stories, whether it's in a book or not, is not the point. It's, are we willing to share what we know, what you've taught us and how we've grown with whatever young friend, whatever young girl is in our lives. Help us to do that so that we grow better together. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Thanks so much for watching, and thank y'all so much for coming.