Sopha Rush on Keeping God at the Center

Do you ever feel like your sweet spot in life simply evades you? Well, if you do, you're not the only one. Because listen, life is full of a lot of distraction, a lot of things that'll keep you busy. And let's not even talk about social media or our social connections that will have us sharing about our lives, even when we actually may not be living our lives the way we want to be. Well, I'm so delighted to share my conversation with Sopha Rush with you today. And as you know, the Sister Circle Podcast is a place where I invite guests to join me sometimes, and sometimes it's just me. But when I invite guests, I'm inviting a sister or a brother into the circle so that we can learn from each other, learn how to live life well, and I believe be better together. And I really do trust that after watching or listening to this episode that I have, this interview with Sopha, that you will be better off for it. She's learned some great solid lessons about living life with intention and focusing on what really matters. And because she has a slightly nice-sized influence platform on all the places, all the things, I think she has done enough to have wisdom to share that we can all learn from. I believe that what she's learned, and one of the things we'll talk about, which is slowing down, to live life at the speed that makes you feel full and content. Knowing your speed and knowing your pace really does matter. Listen, y'all, I like to move at the speed of light. And while we do have people who move fast and some who move slower through life, what's important to know that if you're not able to get in your life the things that actually matter to you, You're living too fast. Don't ask me why I know this to be true. So here's what I want you to know. This year is a year for me to make room. I've been making room by changing and shifting how we do things on our team, how we're producing episodes, podcasts, content. I'm also shifting things to make room, not just for more time, but for more room to write. Continuing to share interviews here, but all of my thinking is going into my next book. And I'm grateful for friends that I can share online here, audio and visually with you. But the other thing I'm making room for is time to be still, time to get away, time to have room for my soul to breathe. And while you're watching this video or listening to this audio, I would love for you to consider coming to Cali with me. In 2023, I'll be taking a group of women to Northern California, to physically make room, to get away from your daily life if you can, to get away from your responsibilities if you can, to come away into the higher altitudes of Northern California where the trees are tall, the water is beautiful, and you can hear yourself think. Why am I doing this? Because I have seen time and time again how much making space between your everyday and your brain, your body, your heart, your soul, how it can bring clarity and confidence and peace. And because I've experienced it myself, because I've provided the opportunity to retreat in past years, and I've seen this happen for other people, we're doing it again. And October 19th through the 22nd, we'll be at Hume Lake in California. If you'd like to come along, come on, join me. Go to thesistercircle.com/retreat to find out more information. And if you're like, well, I don't know if I'd want to come alone, who cares if you come alone? Do what you need. You want to know why? Because here's what I can pretty much guarantee you: even if you come alone, you won't leave that way. Something magical happens when we girls get together and make space and make room to be together. And I'd love for you to join me and find out that what I'm telling you is true. Now, Sopha and I are going to talk a little bit about making room. Room for what matters. Room to spend time with God. Room to hear God's voice for yourself. Room to have your life be full to the level of contentment, because that's an amazing place to live. And then when you finish listening to this episode, I'd love for you to talk back to me. If you're watching the video, talk back to me in the comments. If you're listening to the audio, leave me a comment in the show notes for this episode. I'd love to know what your takeaways are and how you are learning even now, right now in your own life to make room for what really matters. All right, y'all. Wanna hear it? Wanna see it? Wanna do it? Let's do the thing. Here we go. You were on the podcast before, uh, when the version of it, the Sister Circle Show, we were in person. Um, and you know, you had the new little one, number one, you didn't have number two. Uh, it's been a few years. So there's been a lot of things I know that have happened in both of our lives since that time. And growth is always something that's going to happen over time. When we talked before, you— we had— I had an opportunity. We all had an opportunity to get to know you a little better, your story, and just kind of how you were raised and how you found the Lord. And, uh, such a beautiful thing of how you met your husband. I mean, all just such a beautiful story. And, um, you know, it was almost like, you know, the story that led to Grow— Grown Up Sopa and Married and like bow tied and here I am. And this is so lovely. And obviously it's not the end of your story, but there's, that was the beginning of a season where you were learning about motherhood and learning about that season of family and learning about balancing things. Um, you have so consistently showed up online. Uh, Instagram is where I see you mostly. I know that you're now on TikTok and you're having fun. I did go and grab my name, but I haven't yet posted anything because who needs He needs one more platform to post on. But, um, but the reality is, is that you show up consistently in all of your places and spaces, creating beautiful content. Um, and I know that some of that content has shifted where polished was the goal maybe a few years ago, and now more everyday and just real life is what you're sharing more of. It's all still beautiful because as a creative, I know that you care about the aesthetic. Um, but I'm curious about what's changed in you. So before Before talking about one of the most beautiful things I think about this season and a work, another work of art you've produced, I want to start with what's happened in you. So from the last time we talked, mother of one, um, uh, high aesthetic, high polish, still loving to connect with people. What do you think are the biggest changes that you've seen in yourself? From then to now, whether that be personally, spiritually, maritally, as a mother, as a business owner? I know there's many, but just maybe the first two, no more than three things that are different in you.

Wow, that is a very tough question. Um, a lot has changed since then. It's been like 3 years— wait, no, 4 and a half years.

It's been 4 and a half. Yep.

Yeah, since we last talked. And, um, I think the biggest thing that I had to really shift in the last few years has been, um, like my priority when it's my relationship with the Lord. And in the sense of like allowing God to operate in my business, I think I was— because listen, when I tell you, I was not expecting to be a content creator. I was not expecting for this to be a full-time job for um, so I wasn't really ready for all of the responsibility that came with it. I wasn't ready for the, um, just the amount of pressure that came with it, the amount of, um, just feeling like I had like a weight on me of like, I need to be producing this, I need to be pushing out this, like all of this, um, like I had to force this out of me, um but when I started to prioritize God and put God in the middle of everything that I was doing, there was just a peace that came with it. I shared with you earlier about the, like, the feeling of not having to force anything, the feeling of like I get to create, and even when I'm creating, there's just like an abundance of overflow and Yeah, I just felt like I didn't— as much as I would love to say that I had God in the midst of everything, and I was giving God all the honor and glory, but like, I wasn't consulting him with every decision that I would make. And so I was taking on so much on my plate to the point where I was so overwhelmed. Um, but I'm like, but if God gave me this opportunity, he put this right in front of me, shouldn't I take it? Like, I just feel like if I don't take it, then I'm doing a disservice to God. Um, but I was lacking in so many areas because I was so overwhelmed and I felt like I literally felt like I was drowning. And so when I learned how to shift the ability to put God first and to consult him in all my business decisions and even just in my relationship with my husband and my family, I don't know, it's just like it's just been an overflow, overflow of abundance in my business, in the way that I've been able to show up for my family. The way that my, my marriage has been thriving. Um, and so like, that was one thing that has grown me so much over the years. And then also, um, just a lot of like friendship breakups. And I know a lot of us don't talk about those, but they are very painful. But they've helped a lot of— they've helped show me a lot of things that I needed healing from. And even myself, I've had to do a lot of self-reflecting um, a lot of growing in different areas that I didn't know I need growing in. And even when it comes to like people pleasing, I used to be a really bad people pleaser. Like, I would do anything to make people feel happy, and if they didn't feel happy, I would literally break my back for them so that they can know that I would show up for them and be there for them. So I, I feel like with that, um, it showed a lot about myself and just the lack of boundaries that I had. And so, like, to grow up as adult— an adult— and in my 20s, late 20s and 30s, to like start learning about boundaries and how to implement them so that I can live a healthy lifestyle. I just— I wish we would talk. I know we're talking about it more. I see it all the time via social media, which is good, but I wish they would have taught me 5 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. But yeah.

Well, that's so good. All of those lessons are so good. And out of all of the things that you said, the 3 things that I heard that were the biggest rocks is learning to put God in the middle of everything. Um, resisting the overwhelm. Just because it comes doesn't mean you have to take it. And then relationships, um, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Um, growing in some, releasing others, and learning to build boundaries. Um, when you started talking about God being in the middle of everything, I was a little surprised because everything that I saw, um, appears that way. Um, so I'm curious, in that season, did you think you were putting God at the middle of everything, or were you talking about putting God at the middle of everything knowing that you weren't fully? Was there a knowledge of it, or is it just that hindsight is giving you clarity?

I think it was more so like I felt the responsibility of like I had to produce this stuff because I was like, I want to use the gifts that God has given me. And so I felt like I had to always be putting out stuff, putting out stuff, putting out stuff, because like I knew how much it was encouraging other people. Like I knew that like what what I had to share was going to help heal someone, but like, to what extent? Because on my end, I was so overwhelmed. And like, you know, like I said earlier, I was struggling because I was taking so much onto my plate because I was thinking everything was a God-given thing. Um, and so for me, that's when I was like, I wasn't putting in first in that sense because it was taking away my time with God because I was adding so much onto my plate. Even though it was— they were Christian things that I was doing, I was literally taking me away from my family, taking me away from the things that I knew that I, you know, I loved doing and spending time with God. Like, I was so consumed in everything else around me. So that's what I'm saying, like, I was— I wasn't prioritizing God in that sense of, like, I wasn't honoring my time the way I needed to be honored.

You're prioritizing the talking about God and the sharing about God, but not the time with God.

There was no peace that came I mean, there were moments that had peace, but there were moments that I was just like stressed out. And then I would like get so— I would be so hurt. Like, if I wasn't able to put out like a prayer a day, because I was very intentional with doing my prayers a day, I would feel like I failed. I would feel like God— like God was disappointed in me. Like, it was just like a heavy weight that I would wear. And I just don't feel like that is how God looks at me, and I don't feel like that's how God feels about me if I wasn't able to get this content out. But that's in my mind. That's that's how I saw it, you know. Um, and so I had to really take a step back and look at my life and be like, mm-hmm.

So you remember a point— because sometimes this happens gradually— but do you remember a moment or a point in time where you were like, yeah, I'm not— I gotta stop? Like, did you take a vacation and then you never got back to posting? Did you have a— did you have a week where you were depressed and you were like, I gotta stop doing this? Did you, you know, have a moment at the end of a sermon at church where you're like, okay Lord, I'm gonna do it differently? Or like, do you remember a point in time where you made a decision?

Actually, yeah, it actually— it was right when I was writing my devotional, but, um, I ended up getting COVID really bad. This was 2 years ago, and I ended up getting— I ended up being hospitalized with COVID And, um, while I was in the hospital, I actually was like I had a lot of time to think because I was the only one in the hospital. My husband had to be with the kids. And so while I was in the hospital, and, um, I ended up getting a blood clot too, so it was really scary because I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen. I've never— obviously I've never experienced that, but I was just like, God, what do you want from me? And like, if I am doing too much, please reveal that to me. And I feel like in that moment, God really showed me like that my priority was so mis— like it was so out of whack because I was trying to keep up with everyone. I was trying to do things that was honoring God, but like I wasn't honoring God. That makes sense. I don't know if that makes sense.

It does. It totally makes because it's a problem. Yeah, a lot, a lot of people— listen, this— yeah, the Bible says obedience is better than sacrifice because we have— you have a bunch of people running around who truly do love God. Yeah, I've been one of them. I might be one of them right now. But anyway, loving God and doing things, doing a lot of things in his name and for his glory, forsaking their first love. And the Bible talks about obedience being better than sacrifice because we'll be sacrificing to, yeah, you know, I gotta do this because, you know, like, God, you know, take care of my family, or take care of this, or take care of that, or you understand that I'm spending the money on this, because all these different things with the goal of being a good steward. But yeah, you know, and I'm, I'm not gonna take over your podcast here, but I, I will say this. When, um, in the story of the talents in the New Testament God only required them to multiply what he gave them and not to worry about what he gave everybody else. So you're not supposed to— you're responsible for what you have in your hands. And what we do is look around and see what else could we put in our hands and then try to maximize that.

Yeah, right.

Because we see what other people are doing and we go, well, I could do that if I, you know. And so I think that what you're talking about is common and common for people who actually do want to do a good job living their life well and living it for the glory of God. Yeah, totally, totally, totally makes sense. Um, so you're in the hospital and like, did you get an answer, or just the natural order of things— getting better, healing slowly, taking your time— just gave you a new jumping point to do something different?

I think it just— I like, in that moment, for one, I thought I was gonna die. I'm not even gonna— like, I'm just being completely honest. Like, when they told me I had a blood clot in my lung, I— in my mind, I went— it went to the absolute worst. Um, like, Lord, I'm about to die. But thank God I didn't. Um, and I just kind of healed slowly. But in that moment, I really just kind of like took a look at my life, and I was just like is this the life that I want to live? Like, is this the life that I want to live? Like, being overwhelmed, being overworked, feeling like I'm always having to like do, do, do, you know? Because I feel like it's so easy now with social media that you, you're always feeling like that there is a, um, that hustle mentality to like always having to perform. If not, your audience, your audience is going to forget about you. They're not going to like be engaged. And I understand that, but like, to to what extent do you put your health on the line, you know? And not just your mental health, but physically, mentally, emotionally, everything. And I feel like in that moment when I was in the hospital and I was like just thinking a lot, I was thinking a lot, I'm like, is this the life that I want to live? Like, if— is this the life that God has intended me to live? Like, am I to— am I called to live a life that is full of abundance and peace and ease, or am I supposed to live a life that's full of feeling overwhelmed and so much anxiousness and feeling like I'm always behind. Like, that's not what God intended for me to live. And so I don't know, when I got back from the hospital, I started taking better care of my health. I started working out. I started going to specialists to help heal my gut, to heal my body naturally. And I mean, my— it literally has changed my whole life, my family's life too, because, you know, I, I cook, so they kind of like have to adapt to what I did. So it's like our family's eating cleaner and healthier, and even just having more time for my family and enjoying those things. So yeah, the hospital really changed me. And, and not just that, but like, I was going through a lot mentally, um, dealing with my sister. She, um, just like 2 months before I was going through what I went through, she, um, ended up having like a mental breakdown. And so they like diagnosed her with schizophrenia, bipolar, and they had her like in a mental hospital, multiple mental hospitals. She kept coming in and out for like 2 months. And so that just like put a lot of heaviness on me too. Um, and I, and I don't really get sick often, but I really feel like that was one of the like triggers to getting me sick because I was so worried about her and her mental health. Um, because my dad also struggled with mental illness when I was younger. I was 5 when he passed away, but they diagnosed him with schizophrenia, bipolar as well. So in my mind, I was going like, soft, like, oh my gosh, my sister's gonna end up like my father. Um, so yeah, so I was just dealing with all of that. And, um, whenever I was in the hospital, I just had more time to think about it. And I got out and I was just like, something's got to give, like, something's got to give, like my family is so important to me, more important than my job. I took a huge pay cut. I stopped doing campaigns for a few months actually, because I'm like, I cannot have this stress on me no more. Like, I really need to be in my word and I need to really pour into my family and pour into myself. So I'm so used to pouring into everybody else. I'm so used to like giving that I was like, I literally, I don't have nothing else to give. I'm so exhausted. So yeah, I said a lot for the one question.

No, that's okay. That's all right. So before COVID before COVID what were your signs? Because normally by the time we get to the big kahuna, there are other moments. Was your, was your husband, was he ever saying to you, I think you're doing too much? Um, did you have any friends in your life that were like, girl, you stay busy? Busy. What were these all the time?

And I think that's— yeah, I think that's why I was like— I hated when people would say, but you're always so busy, you're so busy, oh, you didn't answer the phone because you're always so busy. Like, it literally drive me crazy. Like, I'm like, dang, I really am busy all the time. But also, I was snapping out on my husband. Like, like, when I would get upset because I was so overwhelmed, I would take it out on my husband. And I'm like, but why though? Like, he didn't deserve but that was my— he was the only, the closest thing near to me because we both worked at home. And so I would take it out on him when I was overwhelmed or I had so much on my plate with work that I couldn't keep up or I fell behind. I would be like— and it's not like anything he could control. So that was another sign. I would have breakdowns with my team. Literally, we had a strategy call meeting and they would tell me all these things they think I would be able to do and I would just break down because in my mind I'm like, all this sounds great, but like, how am I able to do this? I don't have no capacity to do any of this. And, um, so I had plenty of signs, but in my mind, like I said earlier, I just felt like God kept giving me all these opportunities, all these brand deals to work with these amazing brands. So why would I turn them down? Because it was— to me, it wasn't about the money. It was like I actually enjoyed doing these jobs, and I felt like I was being a good steward of what God was giving me. But yeah, Yeah, I don't— there— I don't know specifically if they were from God because I just was— I don't know, everything— that season of my life feels like a blur, to be honest. Um, but no, I had plenty of signs. I just was ignoring all of them because I was like, oh, this is my job and this is what I'm called to do. And so my, my mental health took a huge, a huge, um what's the word I'm looking for?

It started to hit, tumble.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was struggling.

I was struggling. Yeah.

Well, I think it's so amazing, and I think what you're saying, you know, for sure is hitting somebody square between the eyes because, you know, the Holy Spirit doesn't yell and our body doesn't, um, you know, have a microphone. So when you are trying to pay attention to what you need physically, emotionally, spiritually, you do have to be paying attention. And normally by the time there is a scream, by the time there is a loud yell, by the time there is a whole microphone situation, you heard it the first time. You know, it's like, it's like kids being in the store and you call their name and they ignore you and then you yell, but they heard you the first 3 times. They just were kind of. Busy doing other things. Um, and I think that's the great lesson here. So somebody listening, say, okay, there, there are things the Lord, my body, my friends, my family are trying to tell me. And yeah, you know, this is Sopa sitting here saying, listen, that was me. And then I ended up in the hospital. Years ago, I had a friend who said that to me. She said, you have to learn to be still and hear what God is telling you, what your body is telling you, and what your soul is telling you. If you don't listen, by the time God is yelling at you, your body is yelling at you, or your soul is yelling at you, and you have to make the change, you won't like the changes that you're forced to make. And so, um, one of the premises I know of your choice and your ministry and your— even the business premise, the principle is living deeply rooted. And this is something that you were talking about before this, right? We were talking about living deeply rooted before you got COVID and ended up in the hospital. And I'm sure that conversation for you is the same but better, the same but deeper, the same with more wisdom added to it, because you understood it was needed, and now you understand how deeply needed it is and how you actually do it. And I think more importantly, what you have to give up to have it. If you want to live deeply rooted, that means you can't be busy deeply doing a million other things. I want to congratulate you on your new devotional, 100 Days of Living Deeply Rooted. Um, you've been writing a long time. I mean, you've got— you've been built— building up lots of encouragement, um, with captions and copy on Instagram and that kind of thing. I, I I would love to know, um, I would love to know what was the hardest thing, if there was a hardest thing, about putting some of the wisdom that you've been able to gain, um, and share here? Because writing is a whole different thing than taking a photo and snapping it and putting it on Instagram.

Yeah, so I ended up writing this devotional right after I got out of the hospital, and literally Yeah. And 2 weeks before, I sat at my computer. I had writer's block. I even took a trip to a whole different country so that I could write. Just to Mexico, you know, it's up the street.

Not another part of the city. Not another state. This girl said a whole nother country.

A whole nother country. I'm like, I need to get away so that I can write and focus. Because, you know, with kids, I feel like my brain as a mom is like, much a little bit. So I was like, I need to get away. So that I can like just be still. But even on that trip, I ain't write one thing. That is the craziest thing. I went on that trip, couldn't even, couldn't even write one sentence on the paper. I got home, I sat at my computer again, and I, I prayed, and I said, God, I just need you to give me some wisdom. Like, I literally am having writer's block. I have nothing to say. Like, I've been writing for years, but I have nothing to say. Like, make it make sense. And I kid you not, when I ended up in the hospital, I came out and I literally, I could have wrote, written a devotional for 365 days. Like, I literally could have kept writing because I, I don't know, it was just like something was removed out of, out of, like a blockage was removed so that I could be able to like pour my heart into it. Um, but I think it was also that realization like that I let so many things take the place of God and sit where he was supposed to be sitting, like the throne of God. Like, I just— because all of these amazing opportunities were coming my way, I literally allowed it to take the place of God. And when I was able to like be still and like really kind of like let God reveal to me and give me clarity that like, yo, this is not like that, like, I need to get back to the feet of Jesus and the heart of Jesus. And when I was able to do that, I just had so much to say. I had so much to say because I literally have— I had to walk through so much, um, so much trauma. There was a lot of trauma that happened in that year that I also wrote that book, um, that I had to deal with. Um, but a lot of trauma happened, a lot of pain with my sister, and even just me like not being able to be there for my kids when I was really sick. Um, so like there was just so much I had to walk through, um, that I had so much to talk about and I had so much to pour into this book. So yeah, I don't know, I just felt like God was really just showing me that like you cannot replace me. I don't care how many beautiful opportunities you get, I don't care how many books you write, I don't care how many like doors are open for you, there's nothing that will be able to replace me. And, um, yeah, I think that really helped shift my whole perspective and gave me the ability to write again.

That's beautiful. What does— if you had to say, like, somebody's like, I'm just meeting Sopa for the first time, I just Googled, okay, Living Deeply Rooted, If you had to define what living deeply rooted means, what does it mean? What does it— what does it mean and what does it look like?

What does it look like? Well, I just went out— I, like I shared, I went through a season where I was living and operating out of emptiness. And so for me living deeply rooted every single day. What that looks like is operating out of God's strength, operating out of an overflow. Even when you're exhausted as a mom, even if you are, you know, trying to successfully build your business, but you're still doing it with such ease and such peace and such joy. I feel like that's what it means to live deeply rooted, to be connected to God to the point where you're able to operate out of abundance. Um, and yeah, because like, like I shared earlier, like, I was operating out of so much emptiness because I was so always pouring it out so much, um, and it just caused so much overwhelmingness. But when I was able to shift and operate out of an overflow and an abundance, like, I can create so easily, so peacefully Like, I can create if I wanted to every single day, um, and it not feel like I was forcing anything. So that's what living deeply rooted for me means. It's to operate out of abundance. It's like being deeply rooted and connected to the source, being God.

So how much time— because your kids, they're in school, I think, a little bit now, right?

Yeah.

So When are you spending your time primarily in God's word, in prayer, journaling? Like, is it a morning thing? Do you wait until you get the kids to school and then you do it then? Are you a late-nighter? Yeah. What is the rhythm? What does your rhythm look like?

I'm not a night owl like I used to be. Uh, I feel like as I've gotten in my 30s, it's just I cannot stay up past 9:30, 10 o'clock. But normally I do it in the mornings because I— 3 days a week I wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning to work out. And so when I come back, I'll either do it then or I'll do it—

hold on, hold on, hold on a minute. You wake— you wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning? Okay, you must be doing Camp Gladiator or something like that.

No, I just have a personal trainer and I just get up and go. To the gym. But yeah, I wake up at 4, I leave the house at 4:30, and then I, um, I start my workout at 5. But it's really— that's also really helps me to have structure and to like also be able to be up early so that when I come home I actually have time to spend time with God that's not— that's uninterrupted. Because when the kids are up, they want to color all in my Bible, they want to like— they want to be a part of it, right? Which I don't mind, but like like sometimes it can be a little distracting. So I do like my little time.

Okay. So in the mornings, and what does that typically look like? How much time do you have? Because see, somebody is looking and saying, okay, I want to be deeply rooted. And I know that there's not a formula, but they do want to know what it looks like for you. So when you have this time in the morning that's uninterrupted, is this 15 minutes? Is it 30? Is it an hour? What does it look like?

I mean, it just depends on the day. Some days it can be 30 minutes. It depends on when the— if the kids wake up while I'm doing my devotional, and sometimes it's 15 minutes. But sometimes it can be an hour depending how, like, invested I am and what I'm studying and what I'm reading. Like, it just— it really just depends on the day because not every day looks the same for me. Um, and then there's some days where I don't even get to read my Bible. So there's just it just depends on— it just depends on the day, to be honest. Um, but I also had, like, in those moments too, because I used to beat myself up a lot when I didn't get my morning time. I would, um— I didn't have a lot of grace for myself. But now I'm like, I, I do have a relationship with the Lord, and it is my, like, my priority. And I also realized, like, having a relationship with the Lord, it, like, is deeper than just having your one-on-one time as well. Like, you still have— like, you can still have a deep relationship with the Lord by worshiping him. You know, I worship him when I'm in the gym, when I'm riding to the gym, you know, or like, um, just different— I mean, just prayer, even prayer during the day. Like, it's just— there's so many different ways that you can communicate with the Lord. Obviously, we all love our quiet time. We love to be able to sit down with our cup of tea, light a candle. That is like my go-to. I love doing that because it just sets the tone for me. But there's some days where I can't do that. And so worshiping and praying throughout the day is sometimes just— that's all I have. Like, that is enough, you know. And so I have to be gracious on myself in those moments too.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I was gonna say, it sounds like you've learned to give yourself some grace. Putting God in the middle of everything definitely was one of big things, but I want to make sure before we, um, and you've talked a lot about rest and just taking care of yourself, even the trainer, um, getting up early for that.

Yes.

But you mentioned relationships and what you're learning about those, the pain from relationships. And honestly, we're able to live more deeply rooted in God when we realize especially that things that we're getting out of relationships we should be getting from him.

Um, yeah.

What boundaries have you you now learned to set to keep you out of the people-pleasing zone, to keep people and you yourself in the place, the proper place where you need to be? What are some of the boundaries that you've learned to implement?

I think one of the biggest things I've learned is not saying yes to everything. I think that was my struggle, struggle, struggle for the longest. I hated no because I just didn't want to disappoint people. But now I'm like, if I don't have the capacity for it, I will gladly say no, or I will, I will gladly explain why I can't do it so that they understand that it's not a personal thing. Um, so saying no has been a boundary that I've set. Another boundary has been, um, not enabling people. I have a tendency to do that because I love so hard, and I just want everyone to be successful, and I want everyone to like really thrive and like get to a place where they desire to be too. So I enable people, especially family members. I am guilty of that because I just, I don't like seeing people struggle. But also realizing like I'm not God and I can't replace the lessons and the, the, the season that God is trying to like teach them things in that season for them. So yeah, those are the two things that I've learned in the last few years.

What does community look like for you right now? I know that, um, it's, you know, having your people around you is important, and those communities will shift and change over time. Um, I know that you talk deeply about your desire for community, especially with the background in your family and your story. Um, but what does community look like now, and how have you been able to find your people for your circle?

Yeah, that's— it's so funny because obviously when we moved to Dallas, we had no community here. Um, but over the years, we've built so many amazing families and friends that have like gathered around us and became our village. But, um, before that Before that, like, all the people, literally, I think most of my friends that I'm really close with, I met via social media. We just sent each other DMs and we're like, let's get together, let's go to lunch, let's go to dinner. So don't be sleeping on people in DMs because you may meet your best friend. I met my best friend via social media, two of them actually. But yeah, I desire community so bad. I think when I met you, we were working at the school doing college ministry, so that was really our community. But like, outside of the college-age kids, we didn't really have like people our age or people who were walking through motherhood, um, who were married. So it was just very different. But now we're in a different season where we have so many— I think actually all of our friends are married, um, and they're all believers, and most of them have kids. So, well, no, half of my friends have kids and half of them don't have kids. Um, but community to me is just like being with a group of people that are like-minded, who are like going after the same things you're going after, who is trying to live a life that is reflective of Christ. And so that's what community looks like to me, and being able to like show up for one another and be able to pour into one another and be able to just to celebrate one another. I think that was my number one thing really that God's been teaching me in this season is learning how to celebrate every single milestone, whether it's big or small, and romanticizing everything in my life, whether it's, um, us watching a movie or whether it is us cooking a meal together. Like, I romanticize everything. Yeah, lighting candles is like— lighting candles to me helps me romanticize my life because I feel like I'm movie. Um, it just makes everything feel romantic to me. So yeah, that's, that's, yeah, that's great.

That's great. I love that. I love— I mean, because people get so limited with like, I, my friends are supposed to be the friends I've had since the third grade, or my friends are supposed to be the people that I do small group with, or my friends are supposed to be the people in my neighborhood. And, you know, we, we create the circles and the circles can be made from anything. You know, one of the premises that I believe that what the thing that is necessary to building your circle, and the only thing, is intentionality. That you discover where your people are. So if you don't live near anybody that you want to build a circle around, but you meet every Saturday with a group of women who run, and because you see each other every week, you kind of know what's going on in your lives. Okay, take it to the next level. Offer to pray for people or take it to the next level instead of just running. You know, go to lunch or invite them over on a Sunday afternoon before church or after church. So you say, okay, somebody slips into your DMs and they're, they're there because maybe they had a question initially or they just wanted to encourage you, but maybe they're watching you and maybe they are following you because they're actually your people. Like, don't put a, put a label on it and say that if it doesn't happen this way, then these people aren't community. For me.

Exactly. And I've learned— I've had to learn the hard way too. So although I've made beautiful relationships and gained amazing community via social media, there are a sprinkle of them that have really hurt me and have really, like, the motives were not pure. So do use discernment and wisdom with trying to, yeah, figure out if you want to pursue that relationship and go deeper with that with that person.

Wise, wise, wise words. Wise words. Two more questions for you. Because your aesthetic is what it is and because you are in the season that you're in, you're— I heard somebody say recently, they, when they went to seminary, they were told that your biggest audience will always be one decade, the decade that you're in, and a decade behind you. You're not going to go much older and you're not going to go much younger. And so we, you know, and we know that there are exceptions to that. But by and large, I see people sometimes including myself who are working so hard to be relative and relevant to every generation. And the reality is, for you, just because of who you are, your age, your season, and your aesthetic, you're going to be relevant to a generation of people who many are, you know, uh, in this season more than before, deciding whether faith is for them or not, trying to figure out if religion is too con— has too many constraints. And so for you, they come follow you, they see these beautiful things about everyday life, they're romanticizing with you. This would be great if I cooked with my family. Oh, look at this, you know, taking this vacation trip to celebrate my anniversary with my husband. Oh, look, she they look so cute. Like, they could totally geek out on everything and hear you talk about Jesus but not actually have their own relationship with Jesus. So what would you say to the person who is near your season, who's watching you and learning from you, but they are on the fence about putting their faith in Jesus at all?

I would have them start with my devotional. I'm not plugging myself, but I really— like, if I was in that place, if I was in a season where I didn't know if I was in a season where I was questioning or like kind of interested in someone, um, who was a believer, I feel like I would start there. I would start with a devotional, a simple devotional. I would start journaling. I'm very— I'm a bit big advocate for journaling, um, and I would just start there.

It's an invitation. And I think what's beautiful about your book um, your devotional and the fact that it's a journal is it's easy to invite someone to say, just come see. I mean, like if you wanted to show someone, if they said, I don't know how to fix meals and I hear you fixing healthy meals for your family, but I don't know how to cook. And if they were in your sphere of influence, you might say to them, well, just come over. I'll show you some things like don't buy the cookbook. Don't take the class. Don't geek out on YouTube videos. Just come and let me show you. And I feel like that's what your devotional is. It is. I've learned some lessons about living deeply rooted. I learned them before. I learned them for real, for real, when I had this pivotal moment in my life. And I want you to— and I want to invite you to see what happens when you take 100 days and choose to come and see.

Yeah.

I love this. If I can just read this part of day 1. Um, it says, do you recall the first time you felt God's presence, the excitement that you felt knowing God was near you, closer than ever before? And maybe over time you begin to feel the shift that seems to place other things above making God your priority. And then it ends with, no matter how far you feel from him, know that you are always welcome to draw near. Again, an invitation. God is always there when you seek after him. And the most beautiful way that from one believer to another, or from one believer to a non-believer, to say, "Hey, are you not sure that faith matters, that Jesus matters? Well, he's mattered to me. Why don't you come and see?" I love that. I can't tell anyone how good queso from Texas and some good chips taste until I say, well, just take one, taste one and see for yourself. What does the word say? Taste and see that the Lord is good. And so I love what you've done is giving someone in this devotional, this journal devotional, a taste. I've prepared a meal. I've made it easy for you to digest. Yeah. Do you want to have an opportunity to grow closer to God without the overwhelm maybe of picking up the word initially yourself? Well, here you go. Taste and see. And you do that not only through your book, you do that through your life. Just what you share on Instagram, the everyday. Even if you're romanticizing it, you're still like, hey, let me show you what works for me.

Uh-huh.

You know? And that's amazing. It's amazing.

Thank you.

Thank you. Listen, it has been so great to continue to see you grow. Your family, your marriage. And we know Instagram isn't all the things, but knowing that you are in this season sharing out of the overflow of real life, which is what so many of us people of all seasons need to see more of. I just want to thank you for staying true to God's calling for you to listening and learning, pivoting when needed, and then sharing. When you have information or insight to share. Thanks so much for joining me, Sopha.

Thank you for having me. Thank you. This is beautiful as always. It's always so good to be able to slow down and to really kind of reflect on everything that has been happening and even just everything that God has been doing. Because sometimes when you're going every single day, you don't really like take the time to slow down and be like, wow, you know. So it's just a good reflection of like how far we both come. So this is, it's really cool. So thank you so much.

Thanks for joining me. Thanks for joining me.