Staying Awake Financially

Okay, it looks like we're live. So for those of you who have been waiting and you're tuning in to join me for today's YouTube Live, I want to first of all thank you for joining me. I'm excited to try this yet again. We are talking about what it means to be awake, to stay awake, in different ways. And we've talked about so far what it means to stay awake in emotionally. We've talked about what it means to stay awake spiritually. And if you haven't caught either one of those episodes, be sure and just click on the little video link on my channel, and then you'll be able to see them. But also, if you have not yet subscribed to my channel, that's super important, because that way, anytime I upload a new video or anytime I'm going live, then you'll get a notification. And that way, whether or not you even plan to tune in or check your email for the day, you'll get a notification. So be sure and hit that subscribe button before you leave, um, this video. I'm excited today to, um, invite a friend of mine to join me. I've been on her podcast when I was launching. She's still there. Her and her husband invited me on their show to chat a little bit. And when I was thinking, what ways do we need to stay awake? And then I was in the middle of a conversation with a good friend of mine— money, y'all, talking about money— I was like, oh, that's the way we need to stay awake. So I am joined by the female side of His and Her Money. Now, girl, listen, I know McNelly, but don't let me mess up your first name. What's the— how do you pronounce your first name?

Ty.

I should have just guessed. I should have just guessed because I was like, I know it, but you know how you know something and then you're like, I'm not sure, I might get it wrong if I try.

Okay, a lot of people mess him up, but it's fine.

Ty. Okay, so Ty McNelly, and she and her husband have, um, a heart for helping people with their money. And so what I'm going to do is just ask Ty to introduce herself to you and tell you a little bit more about what she and her husband are all about.

Yeah, it's awesome. Thanks so much, Chrystal Hurst, for having me on your show. Um, we had a blast when you were on our show, so thank you so much for having me on. Uh, again, my name is Ty McNeely, and my husband and I, Tyler McNeely, we started an entire platform called His and Her Money. Um, you can find us over at hisandhermoney.com, but it's an education platform to teach people how to get their money in order as well as their life. We mix in, of course, our faith, but majority of our conversations have to do around the area of money or building wealth.

Now, how— why did this— why is this even a thing? Why do y'all have His and Her Money?

Yeah, yeah. So it actually started— so we, we just made 12 years of marriage in June, and my husband and I, we have an interesting story. I was able to put myself through college completely debt-free. I graduated from college with a finance degree, and I had a great credit score. I handled my money right.

I already see where this is going.

Yep, you know where it's going, right? Um, I actually purchased my own vehicle as well too at the age of 18 and paid it off at the age of 19. And just like 11 to 13 months, I paid it off. I'm a $13,000 car all on my own. So I absolutely just I despise debt, and I thought that my marriage was going to despise it as well too. Um, but little did I know, about 3 months prior to getting married, uh, my husband was actually in about $30,000 worth of debt. I was devastated. Um, it wasn't necessarily because of the debt, um, it was because I felt betrayed because it was infidelity that he did not share with me. And we went through the entire—

I'm sorry, Mrs., 3 months?

Yes, after Prior.

Prior. So y'all had been dating?

Yeah, been, you know, having the money talks.

But he, he— girl, listen, I can tell you, as soon as you told him anything having to do with your situation financially, he was like, oh, how am I gonna tell her?

Exactly. That's what happened, Chrystal Hurst. Um, we went and we had marital counseling, uh, premarital counseling. So we did all the right things. I asked all the right questions. We pulled credit reports. I even looked over his credit report. But he had an answer for everything. Um, and about 3 months prior to getting married, he actually said, Ty, I have something to tell you. I was trying to get out of debt as quickly as possible, but hey, I was unable to actually pay off all my debt. I'm actually in debt. And I was devastated. I was devastated because I felt like, okay, how come he could not share that with me, you know? And it wasn't necessarily the debt because I knew that we can overcome the debt, in which we did. We were able to get— become debt-free within our first year of marriage. But it was the betrayal of the honesty, not sharing that with me. But then I also started to take a look in the mirror and say, what was it about myself that would not allow him to be honest and transparent with me? So I wasn't just pointing the fingers at him. I would say, oh, there must be some character issues in myself that I knew that I had to work out. Did I come across as if I was very perfect? Um, you know, and I didn't— I wanted my mate to be the same way. So we started to have conversations. We started Slowly, um, we started praying, you know, together, and we came up with a plan. Um, and I was able to take a step back, and I'm like, hmm, now I see why you were working that second job. Now I see why we couldn't go out as often. Now I— it all started to make sense to me in the end. Um, but we were able to overcome that, became debt-free within our first year of marriage, and now 12 years later, we have an entire educational platform. We have a podcast, YouTube channel. A blog, we speak at churches, um, we have a book. We're also in the midst of writing another book. Um, so yeah, it's, it's been a ride, but it's, it's been one that has been well worth it in the end.

Okay, so top 3.

Yes.

If you had to, um, tell me, if, if you had to say, okay, these are by far the top 3 issues that we find that people are bringing to us and asking us our opinion in, for advice in, for our wisdom in, for instruction in? What would, what would that be?

Well, immediately the number one we probably get with married couples is how do they both get on the same page together financially.

Okay.

Usually one wants to try to handle their finances and get a hold of it and start to do the right thing, and the other one may not be on board. So that's probably our most asked question. Um, the second thing, uh, the second question that we get asked a lot is, well, how am I able to even get out of debt when I don't make a lot of money? You know, so a lot of people, they can't see their way out in that. And then the third thing is, is it even possible for me? A lot of times people have doubt and just thinking that, um, you have to be a millionaire in order to be debt-free, uh, you have to have a lot of money in the bank in order to be debt-free and build wealth. And that's, that's actually not true.

Okay. Okay, so, okay, I mean, you just gave so many illustrations of ways that people could think.

Yep.

When you say, you know, getting on the same page with money apart from debt, where are couples not on the same page?

Um, I would probably say just with their communication, they're not on the same page. One, uh, may have the understanding of, um, hey, you know, we're trying to get our life together. And maybe it's not just that, maybe it's parenting, maybe it's in the faith area. But I would probably say the communication, I would probably say, would be the most, uh, common way that a lot of people are not coming together. A lot of times there's unspoken frustration. A lot of times you think that my spouse should automatically get it and they don't. So everybody has different communication styles. My husband and I have different communication styles, uh, you know, but we're able to come together and we both make goals together. So I would tell couples to do that. Set your goals, dream. That's what we did. We started saying, okay, what do we want our life to look like 5 years from now, 10 years from now? And then once we set the goal, we were able then to come up with a plan, and we both worked it together because we both had the same goal.

Okay, so first year in marriage, you said you guys got out of debt in one year.

Yeah.

So this was this $30,000 worth of debt, because I know somebody is sitting there going How, how did they do $30,000 in one year? Yeah, so what did that look like for you guys?

I'm going to tell you, most couples, I guarantee you, 9 out of 10 homes, they're probably, um, living on two incomes. So we would say don't fall for the two-income trap. We tell people that even to this day. Live off one income, take the other income, throw it at debt if you have debt, or build wealth, save up for your kids' college. You can vacation, do whatever you have to do with it, but don't make a lifestyle based on two incomes. A lot of times we buy a home based on two incomes, we buy vehicles based on two incomes, we just live our life. But don't— that's what we were able to do our first year of marriage. It wasn't a lot of going out. We were newlyweds, we were sitting there. I could remember vividly, we were sitting there with our TV trays eating dinner, watching, uh, what was it, like Biggest Loser was out at the time, Amazing Race and stuff like that. We were watching those shows and at home because we had a plan. So we were able to live off one of our incomes and we took the other income. That's— I would probably say that's where majority of the money came from at first in the beginning of the marriage. We were able to make a lot of sacrifices and take one income and just immediately throw it at that debt.

So, well, for— I'm just curious, can you cook? Y'all were eating at home. Hey, because that's real.

That's real.

I mean, some people that struggle for— I mean, because I think that you know, apart from big ticket expenses like your house payment, your car payment, maybe school loans, right? The next thing that people struggle to control is food. Is food.

Absolutely.

So, and one of the main reasons why people eat out and the food budget is out of control is because, uh, one person either can't cook, doesn't want to cook, uh, can only cook 3 things. So I was just curious, can, can you cook, or was that Let me tell you something.

I don't consider myself this best cook that can be on the Food Network, but I know how to get down. I always tell people my family eat and they eat very well. With the help of Pinterest and YouTube, you could cook anything. And you know what, Chrystal Hurst, a lot of times the reason why a lot of people bust that budget in the area of food is because they're not organized. That's really what it comes down to, right?

You have to, you have to have a plan.

There you go.

It doesn't have to be gourmet.

There you go.

But there does need to be a plan.

There you go. There were a lot of nights where it was just like tater tot casserole and it's like, okay, we're eating that again. Or spaghetti. That was easy to make. Oh, we're eating that again. Yes, we are eating that again. You know, but I would say that it's the area of organization. A lot of people lack in that area. And because they're so busy and we live our lives, we're always, you know, going fast, right? Coming and going. But if you have a plan, you have a meal plan already made out, you're like, okay, this is what we're having on Monday. This is what we're having on Tuesday. It makes it so much easier. To also shop for your groceries as well too, based off that list, and also to cook. It just— it takes the planning, you know, um, it takes the difficulty out of planning.

Okay, so the first year, uh, y'all were at home a lot.

We were.

Um, don't fall into the two-income trap. Plan your meals so you don't get sucked into that trap with eating out all the time.

Yeah.

Uh, just a few random curiosity popcorn questions. So when you plan your meals, Are you planning them weekly or monthly?

I do them weekly. I used to do it monthly. That was before having children. Then I realized my life got so much busier when we added 3 children. So I actually do it weekly. And the reason why I do it weekly now is because now my husband and I, we do a lot of clean eating. So a lot of the produce and fresh foods and things like that, I can't buy and stock up like that on a monthly basis.

Yeah, that freezer cooking works really, really well if you're— if the carbs don't bother you.

There you go. There you go. I love freezer cooking, but we can't have a lot of those. You know what I mean? You're right, if you don't want a lot of carbs and you want a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and lean meats and things like that, then weekly is, is key for me. I actually sit down on Sunday, believe it or not, Sunday night, and I pull out my binder and I have a little notebook, uh, meal planning notebook. It's over there.

Well, I have one too. I need to clean it out. I've collected a lot of things that I'm like, I haven't made that in forever and don't know that I ever want to make it.

Clean it out and then organize it, you know what I mean? Favorites to whatever the side dishes are to— is it chicken, is it beef, is it seafood, you know? Uh, so I— it actually works out very, very well for us. And now I actually don't have to— in the beginning I used to look at the newspapers and like the ads and things like that.

Girl, yes, let me tell you. And when I was doing that, I had to start on Wednesday because—

yep, because it comes out on Wednesday.

Ralph's Double Day is Wednesday. I learned that. And then I wanted to be prepared for when they would switch over.

Yes.

And then I needed time to go through. I did the coupon thing for a while and Tried to be the coupon queen, and I was like, never mind, it's taking too much time.

It's a lot of work.

And, and you know what, if you— there was a season in my life where I had, you know, it's the same, time is money, and it's true. So there was a season in my life when the greatest contribution I can make financially was saving money. And then when I started working, then I had to balance what, what's my trade-off, you know. So I still am looking to save, but the coupon game wasn't necessarily worth the same amount of time.

And then they—

then because everybody got wise to the coupon game, they started shutting down the stuff.

Exactly. You don't make me shout in here because you're actually speaking my language. In the beginning, um, when we first got married and— oh, was our son even born? Yeah, we had— our son was born. He may have been one. I was doing the couponing. As a matter of fact, my twin sister and I, we were on that popular show Extreme Couponing. Um, and believe it or not, you were on it? We were on it. We were actually on that show, but we weren't the crazy coupon, you know, women out there. Yeah, our show was actually one of the most, um, highly watched shows because here in Chicago we don't have the Sprouts, we don't have Double Days, we don't have like double coupons, none of that. So it makes it very difficult to coupon here in the Midwest, in Chicago. And so my sister and I, we actually— our episode was, was very, very, very popular because we showed different ways on how to save. So maybe we transferred our prescription to that particular grocery store and they gave us a $25 gift card just for transferring a prescription to that particular store. So we were able to save money in those ways where not necessarily the coupons or double coupons, but you just said something that was so important, so very important. I get a lot of stay-at-home moms or even just stay-at-home wives, and maybe their husband goes out to work, right? And they stay at home. They're like, well, how can I contribute? You said it there. When your life was not as busy and you were not working, you were able— your contribution was saving money. And that was my contribution as well. I found ways around my home. How can I save my family money? How can I maximize what we have? So I'm big on organization and things like that and making sure I don't buy the same items twice and right times over. And so that was my job and I took pride in it, you know?

Yes.

Now that I'm a lot more busier here with His or Her Money platform, His and Her Money, my life has changed. I can't cut coupons. I can't like go to this store and go to that store. I'm going to Trader Joe's. I either shop at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and Aldi. I'll go there because sometimes—

and then the priorities are different too, because you talked about, yeah, you know, having, um, wanting to eat clean. That determines where you, where you shop and what you, and what you buy. The other day I was talking about— this is not grocery related, but I was talking about envelopes. I was running out of envelopes, and, um, my friend said, oh, you know, they just have them down at the dollar store. And I said, oh no, I'm not doing that, I'm gonna get, get them on Amazon. Because I'm not going anywhere.

There you go.

Amazon is going to bring it to me.

Amazon Prime.

The extra dollar or $0.50 or whatever they're going to— Amazon's pretty reasonable anyway.

They are.

But they're not probably going to be as street as a little hole-in-the-wall place down the street. But for me, me getting in my car, leaving my house when I'm here, either spending time with my kids or getting work done, using gas, using my time to go get the envelopes. Nope. I want to click it and have them bring it to me.

And you know what, Chrystal Hurst? If you would have stepped foot into the dollar store, you would have probably walked out of there with 20 items.

You know what I mean?

Because you just can't go to Dollar Tree and just buy one thing. You're gonna walk out with things that you probably didn't need.

But well, that's— listen, that is a discussion my husband and I have all the time because he is a Dollar Tree man. Family Dollar, Dollar Tree, you know, the little— he goes to get gas and I'm always like, don't buy there. And he's like, but it's just a dollar. I'm like, that's exactly the problem, because when you go in there, you don't just get that one thing. You go, and then, and then even if You spent $11 on this trip. How many times— how many trips did you make this month?

Exactly, you're absolutely right.

So I'm a Costco girl, and you were talking about prescriptions. Yeah, um, and I, um, just transferred some prescriptions to Costco. Listen at this. So now I've been at Costco, the one down the street from me, since they opened. Never thought about doing— and we don't have a lot of prescriptions. My husband does, but, but for the kids and I, we don't have a lot. So I just let him do what he was going to do, and I just. But here recently, when I was in the hospital, I came out with a bunch of prescriptions and I'm a cash pay patient. Okay. So I told, I said I wanted to just find out what the difference was. I expected Costco to be a little cheaper. Right. So a 90-day prescription was $125 at CVS. Okay. At Costco it was $55. I said, what? I said, what?

Wow.

I said, sure. No, 90-day. Like I tried to make sure. Everything was the same. So, so like you said, and that was something that was super quick and easy for me to figure out. It was a phone call, and then I verified by being in person. Um, but we are in Costco every Sunday after church. It's our routine. We go to Costco, I can't— yes, um, we get the produce that we need, we fill in the blanks for the paper goods or whatever. And then, um, for the produce shopping, like you said, I try to plan it out and Walmart will put it in my car if I need something from Walmart. And Sprouts is clean and quick at 7 o'clock in the morning, and that's it. Yeah, I don't have a Trader Joe's on my side of town, but say it again.

A lot of the stores are doing that where you can actually shop online and, and do curbside pickup. I think that's great. Yeah, now you would just be able to shop off your list, right? You don't have to spend more money than you have, and you don't have to get distracted by what you would have seen in the checkout line. There you go.

And that's, that's very helpful too in terms of getting on the same page. And they'll say this, and we'll get off of food because I could talk about— yeah, honey, because that, that is the runaway train in our house. And it's me traveling and my husband trying to, you know, make sure everybody eats. And right, anyway, is that's a way for me also to have my husband help me without having to engage him in the danger zone. So I can shop online whether I'm at home or out of town, and then he can pick it up. Just pick it up. Just park in the parking lot. And I'll even say, I'm placing an order. What would you like? That's still a different question than being in the store, grazing through the store.

There you go.

There you go. So, yeah. So that's, so that's pretty lit. Okay. So food is a big thing. So we've talked about that. I want to talk about credit for a minute. I think there are some misnomers with what it takes to improve your credit. And I'm just curious if you have some 1, 2, 3s for people who are— who are— because what, what I think happens is it becomes kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If people have one bad season in their life, so maybe they had a season where they were struggling to pay their bills on time or were unemployed, and then you— your credit starts to go down, and then you can't get the thing. You can't get in the apartment, you can't get the house, you can't get the car, you have a really bad, uh, interest rate or whatever. Then it sets you up to, you know, be paying higher interest. I mean, it's kind of this thing. Yeah. And I've seen a lot of people that just kind of give up. It's just like, you know what, I'm gonna be in debt forever. Girl, I'm about to really be unprofessional. I'm about to really be unprofessional. Hold on a minute, boys. I told you to be quiet.

I would have had to do the same thing if my children were here.

I'm just like, surely they're gonna help each other out and tone it down. But that wasn't happening, and it was getting louder and louder and louder. Jeez. That's what happens when you're live. You can't push pause and edit it out.

We've had to do it many a time.

Yes. Oh, my gosh. It's like Ward Cleaver. Boys. Okay. Lord. Okay. So, yeah. So I've seen a lot of people get really sad because they're just like, well, I just jacked my credit up. And I've seen it. It's kind of like they just shrug their shoulders and just like, I just jacked my credit up. Yeah. So in terms of— I mean, we know some of the obvious things. Pay your bills on time. But are there any other things that you think people need to be aware of with really making a— putting a good foot forward to improving their credit?

So that's not uncommon for people to actually give up. We teach a financial stewardship class at our church, and you— it's a 5-week class, and usually the first week we have a lot of the students that are— feel very defeated. They're like, this is impossible, I don't make enough, I may have to file bankruptcy. But by the end of that 5th week, We send them home with so much information that they realize that it is possible. We serve a God of possibilities, right? With us, things are impossible, but with God, all things are possible. What we find is that it's because people don't have a plan. If they have a plan, a 1, 2, 3, you can get out of it. So the first thing that I would say is you need to pull your credit report. And we also give them an assignment.

You have to pull all 3 or just 1?

Pull all 3 of your credit reports. You can go to Annual Credit Report com. Totally free. You can pull it, you can get it instantly, or you can have them mail it to you. Get your credit report because you do need to be informed. Go through your credit report, make phone calls, find out what balances are, find out what the due dates are, find out what the minimum payment is. Be informed. A lot of times people, they're tossing their mail in the garbage. They, they don't want to—

they don't want to look at it.

They don't want to look at it.

I have been in this situation, um, either because my, you know, I remember the first time my husband had a major hospital stay. You get the main bill from the hospital that shocks you.

Yep.

Then the other bills never end. It's like 3 months after your hospital day stay, you're still getting bills from the anesthesia, like for the first time, like clockwork. Yes. I mean, and so, so at a certain point, I just remember thinking, I don't even want to check the mail. I don't want to check the mail. I don't want to check my phone. Um, and you know, we were making efforts to pay. It was just, it was nonstop. At a certain point it was like, every communication I'm getting is about money that I owe. It's negative negativity about finances.

Exactly.

So, so yeah, so I get the whole don't even want to look thing, but that doesn't help you solve anything either.

You have to be informed. Seriously, you have to be informed. And a lot of times these companies, even like hospitals, they'll work with you, you know, if you, uh, let them know what your income is coming in. Some of the times they will knock off the bill, right? If you call them and you say, hey, I know this bill is $1,000, but I have $300 right now, I can pay you, can this be paid in full? A lot of times they're going to take it.

Yes. Oh, let me just, just let me just co-sign on that real quick. So when we— my last hospital stay, we, we use Samaritan Ministries. If you've never heard of it and you do not have insurance, please look into that. Yeah, because every dime that I spent on my hospital stay, my last hospital stay, which at this point is in the $40,000 range— yeah, every dime I've gotten back, every single dime. Wow.

So which one was it? That's the Christian Share.

There's, there's, there's, there's a few of them. The one we use is Samaritan Ministries.

That's awesome. We were following you on Insta Story when you were at the hospital. Thank God you look fantastic too, by the way.

Girl, listen, I'm sitting here with my foot propped up.

You okay? Right, right. But I feel like it's interesting. I love them, by the way. And we were following you doing that, but you're absolutely right. Hospital bills and things, they're expensive, but a lot of times they will be covered. And yours, you got every dime back?

And every— well, so Samaritan, basically I paid them up front or work out a plan, but Samaritan, so every month instead of a premium, I don't have a premium payment. My premium payment is called a share, right? In my health sharing organization, I don't send it to the company, I send it to a person. So if you're in it, they're going to say, okay, Chrystal Hurst, your $300 a month or whatever it is, it's going to go to Ty. So here's her address and you're going to send it to her. And they— what they do is they coordinate making sure that enough people pay you back. So I had a kid with a broken arm, every dime back. I've been in the hospital, every dime back. I've had a kid that had 3 ER visits in a matter of 2 months, every dime back. So it is a great option. I know, I see your face. You like, what?

That's amazing.

It is. It is amazing. So I think group health insurance is awesome if you have good health insurance group-wise, but if you don't, there is an alternative. And to your point about them working with you, when we walk into the hospital, we say, we're cash, we're cash pay. What's your cash discount? I had 2 hospital stays in 3 weeks. The first one, the discount was 80%. The second one, the discount was 90%. Then I was able to call each and every one of the other people, the anesthesiologist, the lab people, all of them. And I was able to say, the hospital gave me an 80% to 90% discount, and 90% of them have matched that percentage discount just by you making the phone call, making the phone call and asking. That's right.

That's where it starts.

That's right.

A lot of times people feel like that they don't have options, so they won't ask. They'll just throw it in the garbage and then they'll feel defeated.

That's right.

A lot of times they want to work with you because they know that some money is better than no money.

And a lot of times people do exactly what we were talking about earlier, which is just ignore the mail and ignore the phone, and then they don't see a dime of it. So they'd rather get some money from you than no money at all.

There you go. There you go.

I have a bill actually from a stay my husband had years ago in the thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. We pay $50 a month. That's it. And they're happy because no interest. And they're happy because we have committed to give them something until the bill is paid.

That's amazing. So let's see.

So call and ask questions. And then when they say this is what we can do, say, are you sure that's the best you can do?

And then hang up the phone if they say this is it and call them back the next week. Right.

It's kind of like buying a car.

You have to know you can walk away. I can send to you right now. And I would also say never give them your account information and always get it in writing. So never give them your exact checking account for them to withdraw or don't give them a debit card as well too. I'm talking about if you were settling. With like different creditors and things like that. Yeah, get it in writing and send them a certified check in the mail.

Yep, absolutely, absolutely. That's good stuff. Somebody's asking me, and I want to pause just and say, I know we've been chatting for a second here, we're going to be on for about another half hour, but if you have questions, be sure and drop them. I've got another screen here so I can see your questions. Somebody asked me to share the Samaritan Ministries information with them. It's just samaritanministries.org. And listen, if you end up signing up, you get something. Put my name as a reference because that helps, that helps me with my cost. And it's the same for you. Anybody that signs up for you, it, it helps you out. They— I think they take $100 off.

Um, if, if people with pre-existing conditions or anything—

yes, that is a good question. So it depends on the pre-existing condition. So, um, so like for instance, my husband, some of his stuff is not— he has a lot of pre-existing stuff But if he breaks his arm and it's unrelated to that, then he can— they can do it. Now, if it's for anything related to his ongoing health conditions, then no.

Okay.

No. So their whole thing is they want to help people who have, um, were— and let me also say this one other thing. If it is something that happens that's pre-existing or that happened like right before you signed up, they have what they call special needs sharing. So they won't promise you that you'll get your money back, but you can still share. And if people out of the goodness of their heart want to help— wow. And I had a friend who had a heart attack 6 weeks before their thing went through, and every single bill for his heart attack was paid, and it wasn't supposed to be. Wow. So it's kind of a— it's— it doesn't even make sense, actually. I kind of— and but because it's worked for us, that's amazing. I'm like, it's a great option.

I've heard nothing but great things about the Christian Share, um, programs.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I haven't looked into it personally, but I've heard nothing but great things about it. Especially like we have children and they have to have their wellness visits and things like that. I'm sure that's probably covered. No, that is not their annual wellness visits.

No. So that's the thing. You take care of being well, we take care of you being sick. Oh, but the thing is, is, you know how a lot of insurances have high deductibles, right? Okay. The deductible— and again, that's not what they call it. It's over $300. If you spend anything over $300, and show that you've been able to get discounted, the cash discount is at least $300, then you don't even have to pay for that $300.

So that's— I like that. I like that. That gives people peace of mind to know that if something was to happen, right, something big, they're covered. But things like wellness, or if your kids have to get shots or whatever, right, work something out with it.

You just save up for that. It's still way— when I compared this to the self-insurance option, yeah. The self-insurance option was 3 times as high as this cost.

It's very high.

So I just saved my money and paid for my doctor's visits myself.

That's so smart. That's so smart. I will open up a separate account.

Yeah.

And that's, that's brilliant. Yeah.

So, so with the credit thing, to get back to that.

Yeah.

Uh, someone's asking, do you recommend consolidating debt with personal loans? No, that's kind of a deep question there, but okay.

So we're not big on those debt consolidators, you know, like you turn on the your radio and you're listening to Christian radio and they're probably saying, call 1-888— no, because what they're doing is you're actually paying them for something that you can do. A lot of times your credit can be approved on your own if you do pay on time. Get informed, pay your bills on time, and if some of them are behind and you have to work something out with the creditors, then again, save up some money. Usually, I can't remember what it is, I don't know if it's like a third of whatever you owe. Everybody's different. So let's just say it's a $1,000 bill. You might be able to settle for $300, but you're going to have to make sure that you have that cash on hand when you call them and be ready to pay them if they do settle. But getting them ready prior to paying them and don't give them access to your account information. So no, we're not big on debt consolidation. There, matter of fact, there was a student in our class that actually asked that. She said, you know, I have a few credit cards. What if I was to lump them all on one credit card? We would say yes. If you were disciplined. But a lot of times what happens is a lot of times people transfer that over to a new credit card, but then they're going to still keep using that other credit card. Before you know it, now you got two other bills. So, like, defeats the purpose.

Yeah.

So, no, leave it alone. Leave it alone. Stop the bleeding is what we like to say. We actually recommend cut up your credit cards. We have some people in our class that couldn't cut up their credit cards. They actually froze it. Fine. Put it on ice. Throw it in the freezer. Put it on ice. If that makes—

Unless you're going to be like that girl in the movie. The Devil— was it The Devil Wears Prada? What movie is it where the girl freezes her credit card?

Yeah.

Freezer and she's like, right, you're not gonna do that, you know, shopping habit, right?

Exactly. But stop the bleeding. So stop, you know, borrowing money and just pay what you owe, even if it's little amounts. Pay it, pay it, pay it. Um, we also say that this is a great assignment too that we give our students in our class. Pull your last 3 months bank statements. So when you get off this hangout, everybody go pull up your bank accounts, pull your last 3 months bank statements. And go through them and categorize them. So you're going to have a food category, you're going to probably have a shopping or a clothing category, your tithes and offering, gas for your car. Take all those totals, right, for each month, add them up in that particular category. So if you had a food budget category, maybe you spent, I don't know, $500 each month. Take that amount, add it up, divide it by 3. That's what you're spending on average in that category. A lot of times our students, their eyes get big. A lot of them are crying because they have no idea.

They don't know what they're spending.

Yeah, you hear what I'm saying? They don't even realize it. They're like, I spent $7,000. We had a student that spent $7,000 to Starbucks. Now I know a lot of times people might say, but it can happen.

I listen, I'm like, I have a Starbucks habit, but that's a habit.

That's a habit. That's a habit. But a lot of times if people actually add up their habits, let me tell you, you'd be like, whoa, I'm spending how much? Oh, no, we need to make changes.

Okay, so just to fill in the blank here. So you talked about being informed. You got to be informed. You have to have a plan. So being informed with the credit was pulling your credit report and looking at it.

Look at it.

And then we talked about, you know, having a plan. So between looking at it and having a plan for the who's overwhelmed at either what they see on the credit report or they're overwhelmed with what they see in terms of their spending and they know they need a plan, but they're overwhelmed between A and C. There's B, which is creating the plan that you're going to follow. Some of us know what to do. We just— we need to do it, you know what I mean? But others of us are really like, nobody talk to me about money. I just know you make it and you spend it.

Yeah.

So what is your advice for the person who's like 101 creating a plan?

What to do? So first, look at any major corporation, Chrystal Hurst. Think about Target. Or even CVS or Walmart, in order for them to stay in the black and not be in the red, what do they have to do? They have to budget. Major corporations budget. They're not just spending money without a plan. You need to do the same. You need to treat your home as it's your own organization, your own company, and you need to budget every dollar that comes into that household before the month begins. So now we're coming up on August 1st. You need to be creating your budget today. Today you should be creating your budget for August 1st.. And there are a lot of different free resources out there online. EveryDollar.com, which is a Dave Ramsey one that's very popular. A lot of people like to use that. There's an app that you can put on your phone. You need to track your spending.

Okay, so you go ahead and give me 3 because there's a lot of them, but somebody's going to want to know specifically.

So you said EveryDollar, Mint.com is one, and what's the other one? The third one. EveryDollar, Mint. And, um, it's on the tip of my tongue. We used to use it. Oh, Simple Budget. Okay, simplebudget.com. Okay, simplebudget.com. All three of those are fantastic. Mint is a little bit more— if you want something very simple and very simplistic, EveryDollar, Simple Budget. Mint gives you the different graphs, like if you want to see pie charts and you want to see saving goals and you want to create a pie chart for a saving goal and things like that, they allow you to do that. They also allow you to link your accounts and like your credit cards and any loans with that as well.

Now I'm gonna stop saying this, but the way you're saying it, I'm like, y'all don't use none of them, do you?

No, they don't use them. They don't use them. And I would even say pull out a piece of paper. They're not doing that either. You know what's happening, Chrystal Hurst? We hear this all the time. People say, oh, I know how much money I spend. They do it off the top of their head. And everybody—

I'm saying, for y'all, you don't— I bet you, you don't use either one of them. Are you in a spreadsheet or writing it down?

Oh no, we use it. We, we like everydollar.com. We just You use EveryDollar? Okay, yes, but all three of those we've used. Okay, yeah, all three of those we use.

Why did you switch to EveryDollar? Why'd you switch to EveryDollar?

I like EveryDollar. It was very simplistic and my husband was able to pull it up on his phone, have the app. So if he's at the gas station, he pulls it out immediately and puts it in. I can see it updated on mine or on the desktop. So I love the EveryDollar because they have apps, but Mint has an app as well, which— okay, Mint, we used to use but it had a lot of different glitches in it. Now it's apparently— it's supposed to be fine.

Y'all have already made it a few years.

Yeah, but they have different pie charts and different goal savings and things like that. So yeah, no, we've used all three of them. All three of them.

Okay, okay. So that's, that's practical. So coming up with a plan for a budget, and, and in terms of the plan for getting out of debt, um, or even dealing with your credit, you're just saying a little bit at a time as looking at your budget. Yeah, I'll let you tell it.

Okay, so this is what you should do. So after you pull your credit report and you called everybody and you see now where you stand with all your credit— I'm talking about everybody that's not even on your credit report. Some of y'all might owe your parents, right?

Okay, you might owe Jesus.

Exactly.

You might owe Jesus.

You know, put that down on a sheet of paper. So this is going to be your next assignment and list your debt from smallest to largest balance. I don't care about the interest rate. I don't care about how much money you spend and what the payment is. No, large— smallest balance to largest balance. So if you have a credit card that's $100, you have an auto loan that might be $2,000. So it's going to be your credit card, your auto loan, whatever, right? List them from smallest to largest. You're going to pay your monthly payment on all of those, but you're going to take all extra funds. I'm talking about after you side hustle, after you budget it, because when you budget it, you're going to see that you all are going to—

hey, listen, the side hustle is real. If you will not budget the side hustle, the whole point of the side hustle for some people is money to spend, to spend the money, to not try to budget it. Exactly.

You should budget your side hustle money. As a matter of fact, I would say give your side hustle money a goal. That's something that we did. We gave our side hustle money a goal and take all extra funds and throw it at that smallest debt until you knock it out and then roll it over. It's called the debt snowball. It's known by Dave Ramsey. So we stand by that 120%. The debt snowball is very easy, very simplistic. And you'll feel accomplished really, really fast because after you knock out that smallest debt, you're like, man, this feels good. I paid this credit card off. I can do this. Let's go to the next one. Yeah. And therefore you'll be able to do it. We recently— thank you, Lord— we recently paid off our home in 5 years. $330,000 we paid off in 5 years.

Okay, so wait, wait, wait. First of all, thank you for saying how much the house that you had to pay off was, because I think— yeah, some— and I understand the need for privacy with our finances and stuff.

Yeah.

But I also believe that sometimes the most helpful thing that somebody can know is that you didn't live in a Rickety broke down, $45,000. Like, it was a $300,000 home and y'all paid it off. So thanks for that transparency. And is that just going back to the whole one income? We live off of one income.

Everything that I just shared with you all on this Google Hangout, we did. Okay, so we paid off $330,000 in 5 years. $25,000 of that was the interest alone. And let me talk about that a little bit, Chrystal Hurst. A lot of times people don't realize that when you buy a home, you're not buying it for that sticker price. You're paying the bank, the lender, whatever your loan is, you're paying interest. If you keep that loan out for 15 years or even 30 years, you would have paid for that home 2, sometimes 2 and a half, 3 times.

I know, it's ridiculous.

So it's almost like, why are we even owning homes? Why? For us to be able to say, oh, I own my own home. Why? We're throwing money away. Unless you get— unless you get smart, you're like, wait a minute, hmm, I don't want to just give them extra money. I might as well go rent if I was going to do that. Let me pay off this as quickly as possible. And so that's what we did. Excuse me. That's what we did. We were able to pay it off in 5 years. Let me tell you, it was hard. There was many a days, many a nights, it was like, oh my gosh, we never thought that we were going to see this, you know, happen. But we literally put one foot in front of the other, and everything that I just told you, we did. Now, I— since my son was 1 year old, I then became a stay-at-home mom. So majority of the income came from my husband, middle-class income, and we were able to do this. We did it by budgeting, number one, and we had a plan for our money. We side hustle. Of course, now we have this platform, His or Her Money. We were able, thank God, to get money from His or Her Money, and we didn't use all of that though because of course we had to build the business and keep building the business. We're big on, on side hustles. We mystery shopped, we did our garage sales, we sold— we would buy furniture from the thrift store and sell it. Matter of fact, my husband just bought something the other day, and I'm like, why are you still doing this? We don't have to do this anymore. But he's like, Ty, you know, he bought a dresser for $50, turned around and sold it for $300.

And so listen, you know, by any means necessary, by any means necessary, he like, Ty, hey, we're gonna keep doing it, you know.

I'm like, okay, but you don't have to if you don't want. But we side hustle. That was huge for us. But the number one reason why we were able to do this was because we budgeted our money. The money that God blessed us with, we became wise stewards over what he's given us, right? So every single month, I don't care how much it was, and it wasn't lots and lots, right, right, right, but you just inched away at it.

Instead of saying we can't make a humongous debt today, so we won't make any dent today.

There you go.

We're gonna make whatever dent we can make.

We started with $20. We started at $20.

My parents said the same thing when they, when they, when they had money and, uh, to send us to school, they— I still needed a scholarship, but they had something. And then by the time my brother went to school, he, he got a scholarship. So then they bought him a car with the money that they'd saved. Like, they, you know, they had— and, you know, now, um, to look at what they've been able to accomplish financially, it's like, wow. But he said exactly— my dad said exactly what you said. We start— he said, actually, with $5. See, then when we could do $10, then we did $10. Then when we could do $25, but at every time we— God increased our ability to make wealth. We increased our— we increased our willingness to save, to tithe, all of that. We paid ourselves, we paid God, we, you know, then we, we save for a rainy day, and then we, um, and then we, um, paid ourselves to pay our bills or whatever. So it's a mindset more than anything else.

That's what you need to— it is a mindset change. I think a lot of times people say, oh, because I'm not Beyoncé or I don't have Jay-Z's money, I can't do it. No, it has nothing to do with the amount of money that you're making is what are you doing with what you're making now. If your parents were able to start with $5— we started when we paid off our mortgage, all we had was $20, that was it. We had an extra $20, we called the mortgage company and we was like proud, uh, throw this $20 to the, to the principal every single month. And we started with $20, we didn't end with $20, but we started with $20. So start with something, okay? So just not do anything.

So, so Gabrielle has a question. She says, what advice do you have for single women trying to get out of debt before and build wealth before marriage. And I, and I think that, you know, part of the question here is because the solution has been one income, yep, save the other income. So I think that question came a little earlier. So she's saying, I'm single, yep, so what am I supposed to do?

Let me tell you something, Gabriel, thank you for saying that. We get sometimes singles that'll be like, oh well, people are able to do this because they're married. You are in the, the best, the best situation right now, trust me. Because you're single, you don't have to answer to somebody else. You don't have to ask their opinion, like, do— can I buy this, or can we start getting out of debt? There's a lot of married couples that can't even move forward because both parties aren't on the same page. So you actually have, um, you're, you're actually on the good end of it, right? Plus you don't have two of everything. Just because we may both be making income, a lot of times with two, your house payment is so much more. Now you have two car payments, right?

Right.

You got 2 hospital bills, you got all these different things. It's times 2 where you're by yourself. When I— before I got married, I was able to put myself in a better situation because I didn't have children and I was— I wasn't married at the time. So I was able to take whatever I was making, and that's how I was able to pay off that vehicle, that $13,000 vehicle, in 11 months. Because I was taking my income— of course I would put money aside for food or do whatever and pay for car insurance, but I was throwing it at the debt. So you're actually in a good position. Just start with what you have. I will encourage you though, because you don't have a spouse right now, find you an accountability partner. That's key. Find you somebody that you can tell and say, hey, this is my goal, hold me accountable. Not somebody that would say, um, oh girl, you deserve that vacation, or you deserve those pair of shoes, do your thing. You want somebody to tell you, oh no, you gave me a goal, you told me that you wanted to do this in 3 years. So somebody that would tell you nope, somebody that would tell you no, and somebody that's not afraid be afraid of you. So I would find an accountability partner. That's good. Yeah, find you one. It could be a good girlfriend, it could be your mom, it could be somebody that you're like, you're afraid of. Like, okay, they're gonna hold me accountable. So Gabriel, you're actually in a good position. Do everything that I just mentioned, um, as far as pulling your credit report, do the whole entire bank statement thing, find out the information, create your budget, and just start knocking this debt out.

So A Purpose Driven Wife said, I'm saving for an RV. That's a big— that's a big goal. And I heard you talk about side hustles. Can you go more into detail about how long should you do it? Should there be a deadline for the side hustle?

No, you do your— again, my husband just bought a piece of furniture. I'm like, hey, you don't need to do that. Our home is paid off now, but he still did it, right? So no, just whatever side hustle. On our YouTube channel, um, we've showcased different side hustles like Fiverr. Um, we've done Fiverr gigs, we've done mystery shopping.

Y'all did Fiverr gigs?

We did Fiverr Gifts.

What did y'all do for Fiverr?

Yeah, I would actually look at people's brands because I love branding. I would look at their brand and kind of give them, uh, you know, suggestions. So I would look at either maybe their book cover or their website, and I would give them suggestions. Fiverr actually reached out to us and, and wanted us to take part in it. We were like, hey, well, let's do this and see how we like it.

So funny. Y'all know what Fiverr is? It's a site where— yep, I mean, anything that you need done, a graphic transcription, uh, web design, voiceovers, anything. It's just people. It's just a lot of people. It's a, it's a freelance marketplace.

There you go. So it started with $5. That's why it's called Fiverr.

I know, I know.

I just kind of went up on their prices a little bit.

Listen, okay, because I just paid $52.50 for something.

Yeah, and they got transaction fees too now.

I'm like, yeah, it's— but you know, a lot of these things start out that way. Apps are free and then they get, you know, whatever. And so Okay, so, um, I wanted to ask this other question. Okay, so as a single woman, I thought this one was good. Africa James says, should you rent or own your home?

Uh, it depends. So we're big on ownership, right? Uh, but we do know that sometimes renting may be just best at this point. Maybe you're trying to build your credit so you can get a better rate so you can pay less money for your home, right? And maybe you need to rent so you can continue to save money for your down payment for your home. So maybe you want to put down 20% on your home. I know that they have a lot of these loans now where it's no money down and things like that. No, you want to put yourself in a favorable position. So if that means improving your credit so you can get a better rate, if that means saving more money for your down payment, then yes, renting is the best option. So buying a home is not for everybody, so it just depends. But yes, if you're single and maybe— and you are able to buy a home, buy a home. You don't have to wait for a spouse to do that. Live your life, accomplish your dreams, accomplish your goals. Do it.

Yeah. And I think, I mean, I think the main thing is we have to stop thinking in terms of what I can afford to borrow and pay for and what I can afford to buy. Like, the— as close to cash as I can get. So just because they cut me a good deal on the car or the house and it's only, you know, $250 a month, or it's only you know, $1,000 a month. If, if, if, if I could afford to pay for a house, pay $1,500 a month and get out of it quicker— think that way instead of 30 years in, I'm going to be paying, you know, $1,000. So I think it's, it's a mindset, and that's the problem. We've assumed that cars or houses or vacations or things, that we'll never be able to afford them. So we, instead of saving for them and paying for them, we get in debt and then we pay for them. Either way, you're paying for them.

And let me tell you, these—

your—

these banks and these lenders, they're going to give you more than you need. When we purchased our home, they was trying— no, don't— don't y'all want to buy? No, we don't want all of that money. So you're right, don't buy just what they give you, right? You want to be able to afford it. And I don't feel like there's nothing wrong with saying living below your means, right? Just our model and our concept is we just want to live comfortably. Right? So if that means it's a simplistic life and my children have what they need and we have what they need, why do we need all the extra bells and whistles? Nothing's wrong with it, right? But I think contentment— I think that people lack contentment, right?

People lack contentment because if I go to Target— yep, I walked in there for eggs, milk, and bread. No, but I walked out with a rug I know, a new lamp and some workout shorts.

Okay.

And a good, you know, relax— I mean, just— and not because I needed those things, but faced with them in my face, it kind of— it just stirs something up, and then it— you just— it's just easy. So you really have to, um, have the plan. Okay, so someone wants to know, do you have advice for a married couple planning to start a family but they're not yet out of debt? And they're currently living from paycheck to paycheck.

Okay, so we never tell anybody that they can't get married or start a family because they have debt, because Jesus didn't say, yeah, get out of debt before you have babies. There you go.

That's your choice.

If that's your choice, nothing's wrong with it, right? So I would say, for maybe you all have a desire to have children, so we always tell people, we'll start now. We— I had a girlfriend, it was actually an employee, employer at the time, um, somebody that I worked with, employee, um, she would buy— every time she would get paid, they had no children, they would go and buy a box of diapers. I was like, what? I'm like, that's actually brilliant. She knew that— they knew that they were about to have a baby, right? They wouldn't go— they went to go buy a box of diapers because diapers are expensive. They're like $30 for an entire box, $30, $40.

So let me tell you how mad I was at that. I cloth diapered for a while.

It was so good.

I just I, I did it for a while. I was the only one. My husband wouldn't do it, but I— but when I was home, I was home all the time, so I was good.

My husband wouldn't do it either.

Yeah, he wouldn't, he wouldn't do it. So I had a box and then I did it. But anyway, girl, yeah, you're right, diapers are ridiculous.

They're good. So I would say plan, you know, maybe you don't have to plan now, uh, because if you're not pregnant, maybe you want to start doing that once you know that you guys are pregnant. But start to buy things, um, ahead of time. Now with Facebook Marketplace, I mean, you can get some nice stuff, some nice gently used items sometimes brand new items for nothing. But I would say put yourself in a, in a better position far as just become informed. So pull your credit report, start your budget, start now, start doing that now. Look at your debt, see what you can do. But you don't have to be completely debt-free in order to start your family. Even living paycheck to paycheck, I guarantee you, once you pull your credit report, once you create that budget and you do that 3-month bank statement exercise that I told you, you're going to find extra money. Trust me, it never fails. You're going to find extra money like, oh, I was spending this on subscriptions, this on a gym membership that I don't even use, this and this. You start canceling that stuff, you're gonna free up some extra cash to where you won't have to be living.

I just went to the gym yesterday. I just went to the gym yesterday because I thought my daughter's, uh, gym membership— we talked about this over a year ago. That she was going to move it to her card so she could keep her membership at the price. And, um, this first part of the year I wasn't doing a good job. This is all my health stuff looking about, right? And I looked around and I've been paying for that thing.

Yeah, that she hasn't been going.

Now granted, it's $20 a month because we joined when they first opened. Adds up. And I'm paying— I'm basically putting $20 in the trash every month.

There you go.

So I went to the gym yesterday, making them work.

Yep, you're making them wealthy. And it happens often when you pull that bank statement. You'll be surprised. You're like, oh, I got this subscription, I'm paying for this box, I'm paying for Netflix, I don't watch TV at all. You're gonna find so many extra money that's probably, um, in your budget that you'll be able to free up, and you can use that to be able to throw it at debt or to be able to save money, or maybe, yeah, of having a child.

So yeah, this is so good. So I want to make sure before we end, and we've got a few more minutes, but I just want to make that people understand, because I've, I've asked you a few times, you know, how can people get the help that they need? But you and your husband through His and Her Money also provide help. You've got courses, you have a book, uh, you even have a group for couples who want to have a like-minded community. Can you talk a little bit about, um, folks that are listening to you today and they're going, okay, I need, I need some help, and there you go, maybe I know about the— but I really need to connect with people because I need community about it more than I need the information.

So the great thing about our platform, everything can be found at hisandhermoney.com. The great thing about our platform is whatever your learning style is, however you learn best, if it's visual by video, we have that YouTube. If it's auditory, you, you want to listen, we have a podcast. If it's a blog, you want to read, we have a blog. So you can go to hisandhermoney.com. We also offer coaching as well too, that can be found We also have two courses, and, uh, Chrystal, I have a special discount for your audience. If they use coupon code SISTER, they'll be able to get— yep, coupon code SISTER without an S— they will be able to get 30% off of our courses, either one. We have one, uh, called Teach Me How to Budget, and we have another one called Crush My Mortgage. So we actually— okay, we paid off our mortgage. A lot of people like, well, how did y'all do it? Show us, you know, how to do this. So All the courses can be found at hisandhermoneyuniversity.com. So that's hisandhermoneyuniversity.com. Use code word sister, you'll get 30% off. It's almost about $50 off, uh, of the package. So we're—

y'all, that's awesome. Yeah, thanks so much for doing that. I appreciate that.

No, thank you for having me, me on. We love to give back, but we love to see people free. Yes, love to see people free, you know, and that's why we do what we do. And as you mentioned, we do have a private, uh, Facebook group Smart Money Couple group. There's also singles over there, so you don't have to be married to join. Um, and our courses also have private groups as well.

Love it, I love it. Okay, so I want to make sure that I've gotten all the questions. There were a couple more that I missed here. Okay, so, um, I like this one. So I don't know if it's Tala or Tala King, but it says, what scriptures do you say to yourself when you want something, but you know you need to hold off? What scriptures do you speak to your emotions when you get— basically, what do you tell yourself in the moment that, you know, you're sick of driving that car, in the moment where you really need to get some new clothes, in the moment where your friends are going out but it's not in your budget to go out? In that moment, what are you saying to yourself? I would say scripturally or otherwise. Yeah, that talks your— that talks you off of a ledge.

One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:33. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto thee. So I keep focused by saying, Lord, if I seek you first, then I know that you're going to make sure that I have everything that I need, right? And I'm always very conscious of— I don't want to grieve the Holy Spirit. Lord, I don't want to grieve you. You've been good to me. You've blessed me with this, this job, right? I have this income coming in, and it's yours anyway because you own it all. I want to steward it properly. Yeah, I do a lot of that by praying every single day. Lord, show me how to do— show, show me what to do, show me which direction to go in, right? But that's my favorite scripture: if you keep your eyes on him and you seek God first, everything else should be added unto you. And just be grateful for what he's given you. Yeah, and I think a lot of times people lack contentment, or they're— they have envy and jealousy. They're looking at others and like, man, I want to go on that vacation, I want that car, I want to dress like her, I want to look like the girl girls on, uh, Housewives, you know. And a lot of times you don't have the money like they have it, right? And sometimes they don't even have that money, right? You're trying to impress somebody that is not even paying your bills. Why?

That's good.

Doesn't even make sense.

That's really good. There are— go ahead, what was the last thing you were gonna say?

Yeah, no, so I was gonna say be content and just keep your eyes on God.

Yeah. And I think it's Yeah, I think one of the things that has been helpful, but I've heard a lot of people talk about it, is the idea to keep what you're really working for in front of you. Yeah. So you're not saying no just for the sake of saying no. You're saying no because there's another yes. So if you have to— you can't go out to dinner with your friends because you— that's not in your budget, you spent your eating out money for the month that month. When you say no, you're not just saying no, I can't. You're saying, can— and because I will have the money for the house of my dreams in 9 months or a year and a half, I'm going to choose not to go out to dinner with you. So the thing is, you have to realize that you are in the power position. Things aren't happening to you. You get to decide how you happen to your financial life. And so what you want in Target is not what I can't have. It's what I'm saying no to because there's something else I'm saying yes to.

There you go.

So decide what you're saying yes to, and then that changes the dynamic of how you see it. And one of those things, obviously, like you said, is not grieving the Holy Spirit and saying yes to God. And he wants you to be a giver, that he wants—

that's right, your will, Father, not mine.

He wants you to be the lender and not the borrower. The scripture talks about that.

There you go.

To say yes to him, to say yes to financial freedom, to say yes to goals that you have, that changes the no altogether. It changes the—

no, the borrower is slave to the lender.

Yeah, always slave. Always. Nobody. But so many of us are.

There you go.

Um, speaking of slavery, there's one question that's come up about 3 times in 3 different ways about student loans, either paying them off once you have them or how to even go to college without getting them.

Yeah, that's a good one. So I have an identical twin sister, right? So I come from a family it's 5 children. I would never forget, my mother had the conversation with us, um, early. I would probably say, oh, I had to be maybe a sophomore or junior in high school. And she said, Ty and Terrence, she looked at us, she says, you guys are gonna have to figure out what you're going to do with college. I had to figure out, you guys are going to have to figure it out. That responsibility is on you. I couldn't believe all this. I was like, huh, what?

Wait a minute, not I had to figure it out and I don't want y'all to have to go through it. I had to figure it out.

Y'all got to figure it out. She said that, I was like, oh, okay, that's fine. So when she told us that, I immediately started to say, okay, what can I do? I, I wanted to go away to school, right? But I knew that I couldn't if I was had to pay for it. So I stayed home, I stayed locally, right? So, and I went to a very prestigious college, but I could— did not pay out-of-state prices because I stayed in-state. So that started. So I would also say, if you guys have kids I know that you were asking about the college fund, but if you all have kids, have the conversation with them early. Please don't spring it on them at the last minute. Tell them, hey, mama did plan to do something.

Spring of your senior year, by the way. Yeah.

Your mom like, what? I'm like, right. Say, we plan to help, but majority of the responsibility may have to come from you. And so my parents did that. They did help somewhat.

Yeah.

But for the most part, I had to take care of everything. So that meant that I had to buy my books on discount. I couldn't buy my books at the bookstore because they were expensive. I would buy my books on Half.com, which is now an eBay company now.

Um, to save money, still exist. Chegg.com, that was another site for me.

Yeah, I think so. I think that may still exist, right? So there were times where I didn't have my book on the first day of school. Hey, because usually, you know, you would save money if you had to wait maybe a week later. So I would have to go to the school library just to, you know, rent out that book. And sit there and do my assignments.

I also worked.

A lot of times people don't want their kids, their, their, their college kids to work. Why? Let them work while they're in school.

Yeah.

So I worked. I sold shoes, so I made commission. But there are a lot of times when I would come home from school and I had to go right back to work and go to work and go right back to school or write a paper. So I did that. Now, if you have student loans, there's no other way around it but to do what I mentioned to you in regards to the debt snowball. You want to make another day put your student loans within that debt snowball. So if it's not the smallest debt, line them up from smallest to largest, and whichever way that they fall, apply that debt to it. Apply the extra money towards, um, your payment.

So, you know, I will say this because your student loans are—

you can't bankrupt your student loans.

You can't, right? You can do a lot of things to get out from under—

yeah, it's like side hustles. Do what you got to do, but get out of that debt.

It's like taxes. When you owe the government, there's nowhere to hide.

There's no way to hide. They're gonna find you, okay? They will find you.

Yeah, I mean, I agree. I worked in college, I got college scholarships, all these different things. But I, I will also say one of the things— I've had two kids, um, that are now finished with college, um, and three more that have to go through it. One of the things that I told all of them is by the time they graduated from high school, they had done dual credit classes. And you can— you know, we homeschool, but you don't have to homeschool to do that. Yes, they had done dual credit classes. I did the schools they were interested in, um, both of the— for both of my older girls, the schools that they were interested in, they were not eligible for, uh, freshman scholarships once they had gone past— one of them was 30 hours and one of them was 45, and I wanted them to be eligible for 45 for freshman scholarships. So we stayed under that number, but they basically— we did not pay because dual credit where I live is actually free.. So for the— apart from the cost of their books, we did not pay for a whole year of college.

Wow.

They went in, they got to— they didn't have that mad dash to rush to finish.

Yeah.

Because, you know, they were getting there and they— both of them finished, um, under 4 years. It was like 3 and a half years.

Wow.

And, um, yeah, so that's another thing to look into, that— and do you have classes— take AP classes and take test out, do a credit What can you do to not pay for it? Because you're not even taking them.

And, you know, I had to— I actually graduated. It took me 5 years because I was paying for it. And so it was okay. I might not have been on everybody else's track. It took me 5 years. And what I also did was I would look at my class schedule and I would take the same classes at a junior college in the summer. So I saved money. It was the same college. Yeah. Yeah.

What can I not take here?

That's what I did. Exactly. That's exactly what I did.

And I went to school at A&M, so a lot of kids during the summer, they wouldn't go home because Blinn College was down the street, and they would keep their apartment, keep their dorm room and all, but they would go to school down there.

Yep, because it was cheaper.

Because it was cheaper. That's right.

Yeah, some of this stuff, you gotta, you gotta— it may take a little legwork and picking up the phone and searching online, but the work— do the work. It's going to be well worth it.

Yeah, absolutely. When I got out of school, I think I had $5,000 in school debt. And of course, I had that paid off, you know, before a year. That was it. And I worked and had a car.

Wow.

Had a kid. I mean, so, so I get it. I mean, there's a part, as you were saying that, I'll admit I support that because I, I'm, I've got double-mindedness on that. On the one hand, I'm like, I don't want my kids to have to work that hard.

I know.

But I also know that it builds a lot of character And the way you look at it changes when you're writing that check yourself.

Let me tell you something, because it's 5 of us, my younger— the babies, the last 2, my parents actually helped them go to school. So they flipped the script on us, right? Yeah, they were able to go away because they were the babies. They were the babies. My mother was like, well, things just change, you know. You just— when you know better, you do better, you know. I'm like, okay, Mom. So you know better with me though.

Yeah. I'm like, what?

But then I realized my younger— my brother and sister, they're, they're great, right?

But there's a difference. They have something different turned on with you.

There you go. There you go. They, they were able to graduate. They have debt, right? They still have debt. They have children. They're trying to live their life and they still have this debt lingering over them. But because my mother told me what she did, I knew that I had to figure it out. I'm like, okay, I don't want to have to be responsible for this. And like you said, because I was paying for it Yeah, girl was working. I was putting in that work. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, so yeah, you're right, it's— oh, it go— we go both ways, you know. Even here at our home, we're saving for our kids' college. We have our college 529s, but I've already made up in my mind I want them to have some skin in the game because I—

well, listen, that's my struggle with the 529s because I'm— and I know you can use it for the kid, I get all that. Okay, I'm like, am I gonna put it in an account that is for you right? I can't change my mind on if you're not doing right, or, you know, right?

But that's why a lot of parents too, they put— they actually earmark it and they set up a separate mutual fund. It's just in their name. So you can have one in Chrystal Hurst, and then you just goal it for kids' college. Yeah, yeah, you know, and that's something that we're talking about as well.

Oh, you can transfer it.

You can even use it to buy a car if you needed to for the kids, or buy a computer, or their living. So you can definitely use the money. But I get that, you're right, if We're not going to tell our kids. We're not telling them.

They don't need to know they have it.

They don't even know. Y'all figure out what you got to do. I'm gonna have the conversation with them like my mother had with me. But in the back of our minds, we're like, no, we're gonna definitely help them. Because you're right, we don't want them, you know, to come out of school with any debt.

Yeah, this is so good. I think if, if, you know, certainly if you didn't catch the whole thing, be sure and just rewatch it on replay because there's a lot of good stuff in here. I think that, um, My main takeaway is just you have to look. You can't avoid it. Avoidance is not a solution. You have to look, and then once you look, you need to develop a plan. The plan does not have to be complicated, but you do need to have a plan. And if you have no clue of where to go to even formulate a plan— a plan for your budget, a plan for retirement savings, a plan for college savings, a plan for getting that house, a plan for just developing your emergency fund— There are so many resources available, starting with, uh, hisandhermoney.com. Lots of resources that Ty mentioned are of course there. Then, you know, everybody's heard of Dave Ramsey, and we mentioned EveryDollar for a way to track your expenses. But please don't not have a plan or work towards freedom. Yeah, because, um, because you say you don't know how. There are too many resources out here for you to say you don't, you don't know how. So Connect with Ty and her husband online and definitely check out their site, hisandhermoney.com. I hope you're enjoying this Staying Awake season, uh, this, uh, Staying Awake, uh, series of shows on YouTube. My chance to try YouTube Live, and, uh, we're, we're seeing how it goes, and we'll decide what we'll continue to do after the fact. Some of you have asked, are you going to get back? Yes, I am. I was just taking a little break to try this out. But, um, if you missed the previous episodes, catch them. We have um, uh, next Tuesday, I think. Are we doing next Tuesday? I think I'm doing one more, so check in on me next Tuesday at 12 noon, even though I know that'll be August the 1st, I think.

Maybe that's the 31st.

The 31st. Okay, so yeah, next Tuesday. We'll be here next Tuesday. Girl, listen, my life, trying to keep track. Okay, so thank you so much for joining me, Ty. This was great.

So much, Chrystal Hurst, for having me. This was phenomenal. I just want you to know, keep doing what you're doing. You know, we follow you on social media. You're doing a great, great work, and keep up the great work.

Thanks. All right, y'all, thanks for joining in. Be sure and share this with your friends. I'd love— we'd love to help as many people as possible stay awake. Life is too short to fall asleep at the wheel. All right, y'all, take care.