Taking Care of Yourself

Okay, so here's what I want to say. So let me, let me get to my notes here so that I don't get too far off track, because y'all know if I get on a pedestal. I will be all off task. So my boys and I have been using the C25K app for running. They've gotten way ahead of me because I started sending them out to run and I told them I'd catch up later. Now they're like 2 weeks ahead of me, but that's okay. We're going to do a 5K. I think I'm going to then train for a 10K. And then I think the boys and I, at least the 2 older ones, are going to do a half marathon. They're miserable about that. I don't care. I'm the mother around here. So one of the things that I've been thinking about are some things that I learned because I had actually joined a running program in 2014 to train for a full marathon. I'd actually been a part of this running program before, and so I learned these different things. And if you Google what I'm talking about, you'll know, okay, Chrystal Hurst is talking truth. But my boys don't know anything about that. And so as they are running and running longer distances and they are saying things and I'm like, "Oh, I know I can explain this to you." So, one of the things that my middle son said was, "I'm itching." So, we were going running and the longer we ran, he was like, "I'm itching," and he'd want to stop and scratch his leg. And so, I talked to him and I said, "You know what? I call that the fat itch because anytime I haven't been running for a long period of time, I itch." I said, "In my non-medically trained brain who I've done a little bit of homework and I think it's because there is increased blood flow to blood vessels that have not been used to transporting that much blood at that speed, and you're feeling the waking up. It's kind of like if you fall asleep on your arm and then you wake up in the morning, and when the blood comes back, you feel the refilling of the blood into those areas and systems of your body. So when that happens when you're actively running, I call it the fat itch. And so I actually Googled it. It's true. It's the capillaries being reinvigorating with blood and blood flow that they are not used to experiencing. So this is something new that he was experiencing because he had not been running. Okay, so here's something else that they are having to learn because this is something new that they have not understood because they had not been running. So every time I start running, it doesn't matter if I have been regularly running or if it's been 6 months since I've stepped foot out the door, or even if I've been training for a marathon and every morning I go out to run, the first mile always feels the same. And I will never forget when I asked a friend of mine who was and on, you know, just a lifelong runner. I asked him, I said, listen, every time I go running, during the first mile I feel like I'm going to die. When am I going to stop feeling like I'm going to die? And he said, never. He said the first mile is always the hardest, and it doesn't matter if you've been running forever or if you've been running for the first time, it's always the hardest because you have to get your body into a system or a rhythm of running that involves the breathing that you're doing, and your body has to realize realize that, oh, you're not gonna kill me. Like, she's not gonna— she's, she's gonna achieve a space of, for lack of a better word, homeostasis, where she will make sure we're getting enough air and we are getting enough air out for us to maintain this increased space and pace. But at first, your body is like, oh my gosh, she's working hard, guys, come on, let's get it going, and let's panic a little bit to let her know that she's not supposed to do this because we're going to keep up, we got to keep up. And so there's the initial panic of your bodily systems that you are doing something that you haven't been doing for the last 24 hours of your day or your life, or maybe the last 48 hours if you don't run every day. So it takes a minute for your body to go, okay, she's not gonna kill us. You understand what I'm saying? So there's this principle here that in running, when you first feel that, you feel out of breath. And you're like, what is this? And then when your body knows that you're going to continue to breathe, then it relaxes. There is actually something called runner's breathing, where you teach your mind and your bodily systems that this is a pace that you can maintain. So I did a little homework and I know that there's a pacing. I know when I run, once I get, you know, I find my body increasing and freaking out. I start being mindful of the fact that I got to get a rhythm to my breathing so my body can go, okay, and it can settle in smoother, settle into my pace and settle into my breathing rhythm. Okay. So my pace is I breathe in 3 times and I breathe out 2, sometimes 3. They say 2 because then you're always breathing and you're shifting your feet, right? So breathing in 3, breathing out on 2 means that you'll always be shifting your foot. And so you're not putting weight on your diaphragm on one side. It's a whole thing. But for runnersworld.com, this is what it says. Why do I struggle to breathe when running? Simply put, your body is trying hard to meet the increased demands of running. The primary reason this happens is due to the buildup of carbon dioxide in the body. As carbon dioxide levels accumulate in the body from exercise, it triggers us to breathe more rapidly via our respiratory system. Okay, this is what the American Lung Association says. Breathing basics. Before we even talk about running techniques, let's do a quick update on the one thing we take for granted, breathing. At a basic level, we breathe to fuel our bodies with oxygen and get rid of carbon dioxide. When we stress our bodies through running, our bodies struggle to get adequate oxygen in and remove the waste product of carbon dioxide. When we reach these limits, do you hear that word? When we reach our limits, we also see an increase in lactic acid in our muscles. It's a buildup of acid that your body needs to get rid of, and that causes cramps and fatigue. Did you hear that? It causes fatigue. The best answer is to get more oxygen into the body. Somebody see where I'm going? And that is through more efficient breathing, such as belly breathing— deep breathing is another word for it— or diaphragmatic breathing. Okay, here's another principle I want you to understand. Now, y'all, I'm not a medical professional. Now, I've had children and health issues in my family, and often when I go to the doctor's office with my children, my husband, whatever, they look at me and they say, What area of the medical field are you in? I'm like, I'm not, I just read. So anyway, target health rate, target heart rate. Here's another thing I want you to understand, okay? The American Heart Association advises that when you are exercising, so when you are in this system where your body is breathing harder, maybe where you have the fat itch and where you need to understand that there needs to be a rhythm to your breathing, okay? They say that there's a space that you need to enter where you're actually at your your, your ultimate space for health. That is 50% to 80% of your maximum heart rate. Okay, why? Because you want to get your heart rate up. You want your heart as a muscle to work. So there's a space in which that your heart is working hard enough to build itself as a muscle, but there's also a space where if you get past that, okay, past that 50 to 80% range where your heart may be working too hard. So how do you know where you are? You have to watch your indicators. You literally learn how to find your target heart rate by learning where your pulse is and counting that out for 10 seconds, multiplying it by 6. So you know how many times your heart is beating in a 60-second space. You do this if you're in a great aerobics class, we used to do this, or you can do this with now a watch. Okay. Why do you need to know where your target heart rate is and know if you're between that 50 to 80%, um, rate. Why? Because if you're too low, you're not going to grow, and if you're too high, you may hurt yourself. There is a boundary. Okay, listen, y'all, I'm about to teach you something. Do you understand what I'm saying? You need to understand that there is a boundary to the intensity that you can operate at when you are doing activity, whether you are doing aerobics, walking, or hiking. The intensity that you're operating at correlates with how hard the activity feels to you, okay? And it shows up in your heart rate, or maybe the fact that you're sweating, or maybe the fact that your muscles feel like they're tiring out. And there's a point at which the exercise is good for you, but there's a point at which if you take it too far, you've gone just that— too far. Here, here's what I'm saying. I'm almost there, y'all, okay? There are two basic ways to measure your activity. Okay, one is how you feel. Intensity can be subjective. If you start getting lightheaded, that is your body telling you you've gone too far. Okay? And the exercise should feel hard, but there's a point where you would know if you exercise normally, this is too far. Okay? Your perceived level of exertion may feel different than someone else's, right? Even if you're doing the same exercise, because how you operate at that exercise is different than them. Okay, a hard run the way it feels to you may feel different than the way it feels like to somebody else. That's why we can't look at their pace and their race. We got to know what's going on with us. Okay, the other way is your heart rate. And I told you, you can take it with your finger. You know, this is all stuff you can Google because this is not, believe it or not, a health discussion, a physical health discussion. Or you can have a watch or some kind of monitor, your Fitbit, that tells you your heart rate. Why does all this matter? Here it is, I'm about to land the plane, y'all. You ready? I'm about to hit you where it hurts. Because in order for you to take care of your emotional health, you have to understand that you need to pay attention to the way you breathe. You need to pay attention to your rhythms, and you need to pay attention to your limits. You need to learn how to breathe, you need to know your rhythms and you need to honor your limits. You are a connected human being, and I need you to understand that if you do not take care of your emotional self, you will have a recipe for disaster because everything's connected. Okay, let me say this another way. If you are not taking care of your spiritual life, you will not be emotionally okay. If you are not taking care of your physical life, you will not mentally be acting at your best. If you are not taking care of your chemical life, then you will not be emotionally stable. All of this stuff works together. It is important that you understand what you're inhaling and exhaling. You, you got to pay attention to what's going in and what's coming out. You need to understand that if you don't understand your rhythms in life If you don't have any rhythms in life, you will wear yourself out. And you need to know that everything, even good things, need to have limits. Information needs to have limits. Conversations need to have limits. Education needs to have limits. Everything shouldn't be absorbed in the same season. You will not be emotionally okay if you don't set some limits if you don't know your rhythms and if you are not intentional about inhaling and exhaling, what you're inhaling and exhaling, and the way you're doing it. So what do I mean? I'm about to drive through, y'all. This is a drive-through, okay? It's a drive-through. You ready? Okay. Yes. What you're listening to, what you see, what goes in your mouth, what you put your hands to do, what is coming in. Because everything that you are absorbing, everything that you are taking in, is taking a toll. It is affecting you and infecting you. And sometimes the hard things you should absorb— you do need to watch the Dews, you do need to watch some of these movies that talk about historical racial injustices, you do need to have hard conversations, you do need to engage and listen— but you need to understand that there has to be a balance with what you're taking in and what you're giving out. You, you need to make sure that there's a certain period where you stop taking it in. You don't need to watch the news all day. You do need to have healthy conversations. You do need to hang out with friends and just have fun and not feel guilty about it. So have I watched my, uh, have I inhaled the news, inhaled social media? Absolutely. Am I trying to keep up with what's going on? 100%. But did I just go to Michelle's house the other day, Shelly Shell's house, and did I veg out with my daughter and Michelle for 3 hours, 4 hours on Indian food and Indian movie with subtitles? 100%. Did that have anything to do with me growing as a person? No. Did that have anything to do with me getting things done in my home? 100% not. Did it have everything doing to do with me exhaling and breathing and just releasing 100%. Did I laugh during that Indian movie? I sure did. Did I get up and dance during that Indian movie? 100%. You got that right. Did I cry when the, when the man lost his father in the movie? Yes, I boo-hooed. Did I need all of that exhale? I did. I did. And if you are not making room for the exhale in your life, you are not emotionally okay because it requires both. You need to laugh and cry. You need to understand and just zone out. You need to relax and you need to tighten up. You need to be awake and you need to sleep. You need to inhale and exhale. It requires both. And if you're only exhaling because you don't want to think about it, you don't want to be stressed, you don't want to work hard, you're sick of reading the books, you're tired of having the conversations, okay, and so you are totally doing nothing. Netflixing 100%, staying in front of social media non-stop, always open, uh, convicting with 60 tabs open on your Google Chrome browser. Okay, that's great, I'm glad you're having fun with your life. Now get serious, inhale something, understand what's going on in your life. You need to be balanced, balanced. Sorry y'all, I went into my preaching mode. Let me calm down. Okay, and you need to know your rhythms. You need to understand that there, there is a place where the inhaling and the exhaling can balance out. Know your rhythms. So learn to breathe. You got to do both and know your rhythms. Ecclesiastes chapter 3 talks about the time. There's a time to give birth, there's a time to die, a time to plant, a time to uproot what is planted, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build up, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, a time to dance, a time to throw stones and a time to gather the stones, a time to embrace and a time to shun embracing, a time to search and a time to give up as lost, A time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear apart and a time to sew together, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. There's a time for everything, and you have to know, y'all, when it's the time to sow and the time to reap, time to plant and a time to uproot. You didn't know when it's time to wake up and it's time to go to sleep. You need to know your rhythms. How do you take care of your emotional you? Learn to breathe. Be healthy about what you're taking in and making sure you've got room to exhale it out. Be balanced. Know your rhythms. Know what time it is. Is it time for you to work a little harder, or is it time for you to take some, some weight off? I remember laying in the bed one day few years ago, and I just felt a stone on my chest. I was like, this stone isn't supposed to be here. What is in my life that I need to offload? Because this stone doesn't belong on my chest. This is not— this is not a part of my target area. This is not a part of my norm. What did I add that is the straw that is breaking the camel's back? Because I am emotionally and physically right now not okay. What conversation do I need to have? Where do I need to heal so I can get rid of this toxicity in my life? Who is or what is toxic in my life? You got to ask those questions. Then you have to know your limits and boundaries. Psalm 16:9 says, the Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup. Here it is. You support my lot. The lines— do you hear this? The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places. I have lines, I have boundaries, and they're pleasant. Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. The New— uh, that was the New American Standard. The NIV version says, the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Don't you know that boundaries are good? They're good for you, because if you can do everything all over the place all of the time, that's chaos. I was on a plane with my dad in high school. He gave me some of the best advice that I've ever received. I did not listen. He had a napkin and he drew a football field and he said, listen, these are the lines for the football game. If there is no line, there is no game. If you want to enjoy the game of life, you have to live within the lines. If there are no lines and you can throw the ball anywhere, that's chaos. You will hurt yourself, you will exacerbate yourself, you will go too far. You will not be in the maximized place for you to live. Here are the rules of life. You've learned them all your life, Chrystal Hurst. You've been sitting around our dinner table hearing the word of God. You know where the lines are. Abide by the rules and you will live. That's why you got to read the word. Everybody wants to go out here and get wisdom. Let me tell you The fear of the Lord, the Bible says, is the beginning of wisdom. If you don't even know Jesus, can I just tell you that biblical history, the Bible as a literary book, is a thing? Like in colleges, read the Bible. It'll save you a lot of drama. It'll save you a lot of drama. Read the Bible. You want to learn things the short way or the long way? The easy way or the hard way? You can live it or you can learn it. How do you learn it? You read the Bible. Okay, so in order to know what your limits and boundaries are, you have to know— in order to know when you cross them, you have to know where they are. So emotionally, you have to know when you— you have to know who you can be around and how long. You have to know when your kids need to go to bed. Y'all people who let your kids stay up till 11, 12 o'clock at night, put them jokers to bed so that you can breathe for a hot second. They need to have quiet time. The people that are scheduling things on your schedule, they have to know, I'm not available at this time. You need to have boundaries so that you go to bed, take the melatonin, drink the milk if you're not lactose intolerant. Okay, have an evening routine and a morning routine. When you wake up at 4 AM— talking to myself— go back to sleep. Break out— break away the time to say, no, I can't do this because this is the time when I run and when I walk. Because in order for me to be healthy, physically healthy, so that I'm emotionally healthy, for me to get that dopamine hit, my serotonin load, I gotta go for my walk. They will live, y'all. The people you work with will live if you say don't schedule anything after 5 PM. Some of the people on my team, y'all, I love y'all, I love y'all, but y'all know I never stop working. It's okay to say I'd like to log off today at 6 PM. I'm a self— I am a workaholic, I tell y'all that I am. And sometimes I look in the eyes of people that I work with and I go, I am exhausted. Sting them. And that's a good thing for you as a boss to keep tabs on the emotional health of your people. But I'm also saying, if you work for somebody, it's okay for you to say, this is— these are the boundaries that really, really work for me. You know, um, you know, if you're contract and you get to set boundaries, or if you're an employee and there are agreed-upon boundaries, to say, I really, really need to— if I can log off at 5. And there are seasons, right, where you work a little harder and you do what has to be done and you exercise exercise that heart muscle and you grow. But then you need to know when you've gone too far. In order for you to be okay all the way through your life, you have to know where your boundaries are. And boundaries are good. Boundaries are good. So here's what I need you to do. You listen, my friend. I need you to take care of yourself. I need you to take care of yourself emotionally. I need you to take care of yourself physically. I need you to take care of yourself mentally. I need you to take care of yourself spiritually. But since today is about emotional, you need to breathe. You don't have to watch the news non-stop. You don't have to be on your phone non-stop watching the news. You don't have to always, always be playing with your kids. They will be fine. Let them be bored. You don't have to be the orchestrator of all the fun. You don't have to do everything at your church, okay? You don't have to be the only person who's the counselor for everybody in your family. You, you know, certain ones of us are wired that way. What I'm telling you is, when you start to live in this emotionally healthy place, you may feel a little fat itch. It may not feel normal. You may have to learn how to breathe so that you can find your optimal place to live. But you need to understand that when you learn to breathe, it fixes the itch. When you learn your rhythms, it fixes the exhaustion. When you understand your limits and boundaries, it, it allows you to operate at a pace emotionally that you can maintain. Some of us aren't crazy, y'all. I mean, I believe that every woman has a little cray-cray in her, but some of us really aren't crazy. We just are always extended far beyond our limits. Some of it you can't control. I understand that you did not choose to be a single parent. I understand that you did not choose to have the health trouble. I understand that you did choose that man, but you did not know you were choosing his issues. I understand that you did not choose to be on this job right now. You're just trying to choose to make money for your household. I understand all of this. Trust me, I do. I got it. I, I get it. But in the things you can't choose, there are micro choices that you can make every stinking day. Every stinking day, there are micro choices. There are small things that you can choose so that you in some way introduce health. And I just want you to understand that you are worth your emotional health. And here's the other thing I want you to understand: it's all connected. It's amazing when you start— and people who have lost a bunch of weight, they experience this. They start losing weight and it changes the way they think. It changes their mental capacity, their emotional capacity, because all of a sudden, when they started choosing their physical health, they started waking up to the fact that they could choose to be emotionally healthy too. It's amazing. Did you know that when you choose your emotional health, that it will all of a sudden make you go, wait a minute, why am I eating that? And when I indulge in all the fatty foods, it makes me want to sleep. And you know, the sugar takes me down. You know, why am I eating that? It starts making you say, wait a minute. All of these things are connected, and I want this part of my life to reflect this part of my life. And this is not— you know, I was talking to a friend of mine, and you know, she's a healthy girl and she's totally confident, totally fine. But what I'm telling you is you have to know that the level of health that you want to achieve matches all the way around. Okay, and here's the bottom line, here's the rub: you will not operate at your full capacity in life if you are not healthy. And I can promise you, you don't want to die and leave anything on the table. You don't want to have any regrets. Regrets. You don't want to have any I woulda, coulda, shouldas. Like my friend said, you don't want to shit on yourself. Should, y'all, should. For somebody, email's my daddy, but y'all understand what I'm saying. You don't want that. I know you don't, but you will not succeed at being the full version of you in your life and doing whatever you're supposed to do in this life if you are not healthy. So be healthy, girl. That's what I want to say to you. Be healthy.