The Power of Listening to Your Body with Chrystal Evans Hurst

Have you ever wondered what your body is trying to tell you? Well, I want to help you figure out what your body is trying to tell you today. Hi, my name is Chrystal Hurst, and if you're just now joining me here, welcome. Every time is somebody's first time, and I want to make sure that you know you are welcome in this place. I'm here actually and have been here now for about an hour and a half with my inner circle because they've gotten the whole radio morning show, plus some fun, plus some foolery, plus some tips. But now I'm battening down the hatches so I can share something meaningful with you, for me, for them. And my prayer is that this is practically helpful. My goal— yeah, I want to inspire you, yeah, I want to motivate you, but honestly, I really want to teach you and to give you practical tools that you can use if you are feeling this morning some kind of way about your life, and I want you to fill in the blank. What is some kind of way? I want you to pay attention to why you're feeling that way and what your body is trying to tell you about how you're feeling. One of the reasons why I have become delightfully surprised at what I do every Monday in the Inner Circle is that we're just here yapping about I don't know what. Every Monday is different. Every Monday's reflective. Every Monday there's laughter. And you know what that tells me is that I could give something meaningful for 30 minutes or an hour or 2 hours, and that would be good. But it is also good just to be in community, to have conversations, to laugh, to think, to share, to help. It is helpful to be lighthearted. We need a lot of things, y'all. We need food, we need water, from our soul to our skin. We need rest, but we also need other intangibles like laughter and community and conversation and growth and knowledge. We need to be able to cry, to share notable events, to be seen. We have a lot of needs, and honestly, the world moves so fast And by design, I think one of Satan's tricks is to keep us busier than we ought to be and keep us way more attentive to other people and the needs of people outside of us than we are to the needs that we have. We're studying 1 John at church right now, and my dad is talking a lot about what it is to abide in God, to abide, to to be close, to keep commandments? What does it take for you to have fellowship with God? But one of the key things about that trips people up is, why should I pay attention to me? That sounds self-serving, that sounds selfish. But the greatest command is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, and your soul. The next one is to love your neighbor as Here it is, yourself, which means you have to know what you need and what you want. You have to know what would be helpful. We're okay with this sometimes. Like if somebody that I know loses someone that they love, I've lost someone that I love. So we're also told that we should comfort people with the comfort we received. I know what I needed. So I am able to give to someone who loses a parent or who loses another family member that they really care about what they need to a degree, because I've experienced it. And I know, man, I really wish people would have, or I needed people not to. And it's not a perfect one-to-one, but I have some experience. It's because I know what I needed, what would've made me feel cared for, what would've made me feel loved, what would've made me feel seen, what would've, what would've taken the pressure off of me. It's because I have that. Because I know me, because I know what I want, what I need, what I desire, what is helpful, that I'm able to help someone else. So that is me telling you why we shouldn't live in the land of me. You have to visit the land of me so that you actually know how to love. I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about being interrupted. I am a horrible interrupter and I know that, but I've learned how to be a good listener when someone else interrupted me and it was irritating and it was frustrating and I couldn't get a word in edgewise and I couldn't finish my thoughts. And then I thought, ah, this is what it feels like to not get a thought out. So now I know what I want. I know what I need. So when I'm in a conversation with someone else, it's made me a better listener. It's okay to know you, boo. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's okay to know you. And sometimes the only way that you get to know you is to sit still. Sometimes the only way that you get to know you is by asking God, what do you know about me that I don't know about me? What do you, what do you know about my internal motivations and why I'm doing this, or why I'm still doing this, or why I'm still with this person, or why I'm still on this job, or why I'm still spending money this way. What do you know about me that I need to know about me? And it's not until you sit still and you listen that you get the answer. Dr. Anita, in her book The Garden Within, um, she's recently been on the podcast. Dr. Anita, on her podcast, the one I had with her, she talked about the importance of body. She's been on the podcast before, talked about your body. I did an Instagram Live. If we put that on YouTube by now, She talks about your body and how you have to pay attention to your body and asking yourself, what do you need? How she gets up in the morning and she says, what do I need? Now I get up in the morning and I have said, Lord, help me to be an instrument of your grace, your power, your love today. Show me what's important to you. Show me what you need me to see. Show me what path you want me to walk. Before my feet hit the floor, I put my hands to heaven and I say, you show me what's supposed to be in this day. I know how to do that. But Dr. Anita reminded me, or told me and then reminded me, but ask yourself, what do I need? What is my body telling me? Now, I realize that the Bible says that the heart is deceitful, and that trips a lot of people up. I'm not talking about checking in on your emotions and letting your emotions lead you. I'm saying checking in on you to just say, what is it saying? You can evaluate it in the light of God's word. You know, if your body is saying to you, I'm tired and I want to stay in the bed all day, you need to evaluate that. You evaluate that. Do I have a job? Do I have a husband? Do I have children? Um, is this, you know, is this laziness? Is this how I feel? Am I going to operate on that? You can run it through the sieve of truth, but to at least pay attention, y'all, is something that we don't do. So I've been trying to incorporate this, and I'm laying in the bed and I am thinking, how do I feel? And I sit there and I wait. Am I excited because there's something happening today? Am I anxious because my list of to-dos is so long? Did I need more time to do nothing? Am I feeling refreshed from the weekend or tired from the weekend? Does my head hurt? What is that telling me about what's happening in my body? So I'm gonna do for you what someone else did for me. I've had it done multiple times. Um, sometimes I've had it done in a massage, sometimes I've had it done, um, in a session, a writing session. Um, I've discovered that when I go write, one of the reasons why I need long times to write is because it takes me a Friday night to take off all the stuff that's in me and on me, to download all of the things out of my head and to brain dump 'em onto a piece of paper. And then I come back in the morning and I clear my email and I read a couple of chapters and I fidget, and then I can settle in. And I realize that I'm doing all of that activity to get off of me everything that's off of me. So I am fully— Chrystal Hurst is fully engaged and embodied inside of her skin so that she can feel herself, feel her emotions, feel her thoughts. That I can think clearly and connect what is bubbling up inside of my spirit that's supposed to end up on paper so that I can hear. I've gotten all of my thoughts out. I've done all this to clear the page, clear my physical page. So If you were sitting still, if you're laying down, if you're sitting in a chair and you're going to watch this, you may need to go back, watch it again. Think about your hair. Is it clean? Is it dirty? Is it in a ponytail? Is ponytail too tight? Is it too loose? Just notice from the very tip of your scalp what's happening. And then you're gonna move to your head. Think about your forehead, your chin. It's like a wave. If a wave was starting at the top of your head and moving down your body, as soon as the water touches your head, relax. Does your head feel tight? Does your head feel light? How about your skin? Is it dry? Run your tongue across the back of your teeth. And it sounds so silly and so stupid, but it's as you relax your tongue in your mouth that you pay attention to whether or not you were holding it tight in the first place. Notice your head. Now think about what your, your thoughts are. Are they racing? Does your head feel heavy? Does your brain feel full? You just sit there and notice how you feel. If the wave moves from your head down to your neck. Just move your head a little bit. Oh, a little tight right here. What is your body telling you? What is— what is happening to it? Your shoulders, just pay attention to the one on the right and the one on the left. Are you tight and you don't even know it? And the whole time you're doing this, you're just being. Sometimes if it's hard for you to do it in silence, you could easily turn on some music, massage music, worship music, and just pay attention. Like, even right now, I can feel because I'm paying attention that I'm actually not relaxed. My shoulders are tense because when I think about it, I relax. You're letting it go. And then when you move down to your chest, your body cavity, what is your body telling you? Were you even breathing deeply? How do you know? Because you take a deep breath. How's your digestive system? Is your stomach full? Did you eat too late last night? Is your bra too tight? Are you thirsty? Are you licking your lips? What is your body telling you? It's not about, are you thirsty and are you licking your lips? It's about, have I had enough water? My body telling me I've had enough water. It's not about you going, what's going on in my brain? It's about, am I stressed? Is there too much in my mind? Do I need to write down What's happening? Do I need to pray about what's racing through my thoughts? As you lay there and the water moves from your shoulder all the way down your back, down to your lower back, what's the difference between the way you're holding the top of your back and the way your lower back feels? If you're sitting in a chair, are you sitting up straight? Are you slouching? When you work your way all the way down to the tips of your feet and just try to let it— whatever it is— go, the question that you're asking yourself the whole time is, why? Why does my brain feel heavy? Why am I holding on? Why are my shoulders tight? Why do I feel full if it's 6:00 in the morning? As you sit there and you pay attention to the tightness in your chest or the aching in your back, what does that say to you about where you sit all day, or What does it say to you about the sadness that your body is holding onto? Now, I don't expect you to be able to totally dissect every single thing about what's happening with you consciously or subconsciously. What I do know is that magical things happen when you pay attention. What I do know is that when you're still, if you lay still in the bed or you sit still at your desk or in a recliner or at your kitchen table, what I do know is if you will just sit still, that you leave room to notice. You leave room to notice, and you also leave room for God to speak to you. One of the gifts of taking a long shower for me is that my brain has the freedom to get work done that it wouldn't otherwise get done if I was busy giving it tasks to do. Without me giving my brain tasks to do, it tells me what I need to know. I was watching an article when I was getting sucked into a YouTube vortex one day that, uh, it was talking about the most important people in the world don't have a to-do list the way a lot of people have to-do lists or tasks to complete, that their genius is leaving room for their brains their bodies to notice something and to respond to it. That I don't get up at the— in the morning only having the things to do that I wrote down on my list. I leave room to have other ideas that I didn't plan on doing today. I leave room for that. But most of us don't leave room because we get up with an agenda. And so What I've started doing is getting up in the morning, raising my hands to heaven like I always do. Today I wanna be an instrument of your power, of your peace, of your love. Show me who I'm supposed to love today. Show me what I'm supposed to do today. I invite you in. But then I say, Lord, what do, what do I need from you? How do you want me to love me today? How do you want me to position myself to experience your love? And what is happening with me that is causing me to not experience the fullness of abundant life? What is, what is happening? Am I worried? My mind. Am I stressed? My shoulders. Am I moving slowly enough? Probably not if I'm breathing fast. Am I taking my time? Probably not if I'm feeling anxious about laying in the bed doing this exercise. Am I pacing myself correctly? How do my feet feel? I've been in the bed all night. Do my feet still ache? Am I not wearing good shoes? I mean, what do I need? Sometimes the racing in my head that tells me that there's too much on my plate tells me what I need is support. So Lord, thank you for bringing to mind that I need to stop trying to do it all myself, and I need to ask my husband to do these two things today, that I need his help today. Or man, I didn't finish all that laundry. So what I need is to communicate to my children, to the son that's home Hey, on the weekends I need you to fold the towels and put them away. I'm, I'm, I'm noticing what I'm reacting to in my body, laying still, taking a long shower, but not having no action, no action. Just what am I learning by listening? You, you were made to receive input from a lot of different sources. When you want to love others, you have to listen well and understand their needs. When you want to love God, you need to listen so you can understand his direction and obedience. When you love your spouse, you have to listen. You watch their body movements, you know their nuances, you know their tones, because you want to be able to respect and honor them well. You're always listening, but somehow women don't do a good job listening. To themselves. If you wake up and it's dread, anxiety that you're feeling, a feeling in the pit of your stomach, lead in the pit of your stomach, I don't want to go to this job today. I don't want to. So what are, what is that feeling telling you? Is it time to look for another job? Is it time to put in for a transfer? Is it time to have a difficult conversation with your boss? What about happiness? What about today's my favorite breakfast day? What about seeing the sun come in from your window and noticing that, oh, it's gonna be a bright, beautiful day? What if that tells you more of what you need? You know what? I need to go and engage in that. You'd be surprised all the little things that your mind or your body will tell you if you're just still enough to notice. And how if you literally, from top of your head to the tips of your toes, will release the muscles that you don't even realize are tight. You just relax. Like, even as I sit here, it's just relax and just notice.. You may lay there some days, some mornings, some evenings if you do this at night, and not get a thing. Not a daggone thing. But guess what you did? You paid attention. And even that is an act of self-love. Do you know what it teaches you to do? Slow down and love others by knowing what it is just to sit with someone In 2018, I was in the hospital for 21 days out of— 18 out of 21 days, because I was in and then I came out, then I was in again, but it was 18 out of 21 days. And my mother came, and she came and she sat, and I was like, Mom, you don't really have to sit here. Like, I'm fine. I feel bad. Go home. And she just looked at me and she says, I'm here. We watched some Family Feud. She may have gotten up and filled my water, but for the most point— most part, she just was there. There is such a thing with others as the ministry of presence. We know this, just being there. I want you to know that you need the ministry of presence too, which means you have to Yes, give the ministry of presence to others. Just be there. But you need to give yourself the ministry of presence as well. Just be there. Be there with you and notice what you need. Sometimes we can't articulate to other people what we need because we don't know. You don't, you don't know. How can you tell someone else what you need when you have not tarried with you, to use that church word? You just haven't sat there and paid attention. What do I need? And if you— the exercise of going from the tip of your head to the tip of your toes is so that you take long enough with the exercise. Because if you just sit there for 30 seconds and go, what do I need? Uh, okay, I'm done. You need to give yourself some time. To give yourself the ministry of presence, to learn how to give that gift to other people, to learn how to give that gift to the Lord. John was the disciple that Jesus loved, right? He wrote— John, he wrote 1 John, Revelation— laid his head on Jesus's chest. He was just always close. Have you ever wondered, for those of you all who don't want people in your space, why that is? For some of you, have you ever considered it, that it's uncomfortable to have someone else that close to you if you're not comfortable being that close to you? Paying attention to your body is the ministry of presence for you, and it is knowing how to be able to operate in that great commandment to love your neighbor as yourself, because you actually know what you need and what it looks like to love you so that you can freely give it. I used to lay on my grandmother's lap. I would go to Baltimore and I would sit on the porch. Hot summers, cold winters, it doesn't matter. I would lay my head in her lap and she would stroke my hair. I would lay there for a long time while she stroked my hair. When I was a grown woman, 30 years old, she came to Dallas. I said to Mama, can I take you on the porch with me? Will you sit here? Can I lay in your lap so you can stroke my hair. Do you want to know what I felt then? I felt cared for. I felt relaxed. I felt touched. I felt okay with being held close. I felt seen. She would talk to me and ask me questions while she stroked my hair. Do you know what I know how to do now? When she was sick and I went to see her, I sat on the edge of her bed and I stroked her hair. She smiled at me. You know what I know how to do to my grandchildren? I know how to stroke their hair or rub their ears because somehow rubbing an ear makes your whole face relax. I want you to be able, as Dr. Adida has already written so eloquently, to care for the garden within. However, you're gonna have to make some time to even know what the garden needs. If I'm constantly outside watering the garden or putting on nutrients into the soil, or if I'm going out and pruning, but I never actually put my hands in the soil and feel it. I don't know what that needs. I don't ever test it. I don't know what it needs. So yes, go to church and listen to the Bible and let the word that is sharper than any two-edged sword do its work, pierce through to the bone and the marrow. But every now and then, I need you to just be still and ask yourself, what do I need? And if you don't know, ask God, can you show me what I need? As my shoulders keep hinging up, I can tell you today my list is longer than it should be. But this weekend, knowing that, being still, laying in the bed longer, I knew that if I let this weekend, this past weekend pass without engaging in life-giving activities, not just task-oriented activities, but life-giving-oriented activities, not productive-oriented activities, but just things that fed my soul. I would regret it because for the next few weekends of my life, they are not simple, quiet, and still. So when I got up this morning, there was a list of things that I needed to do. There are a list of things that didn't get done this weekend, but my soul is full. And, and I realized Chrystal, never forget, it can wait. So I reject the pressure of the list that I have today because it can wait. Nobody died because I didn't do the things that were on the weekend plan. Nobody is at a loss because I didn't check off everything off my list. Remember, Chrystal Hurst, even as you feel the heaviness in your chest of all the things that you need to do, It can wait. Now, I'm no person, I'm no therapist, I'm no counselor, I'm no a lot of things, but I do know that moving slower and asking myself these questions is working for me. And my hope is that my tone today, cuz you know I can be crazy and funny, but my tone today, me asking you questions and I the thoughts of the water moving from the tip of your head to the tip of your toes and touching every single part of your body as you just lay there. And the pacing for today has helped you to slow down. Who knows, maybe I'll do something like this and set it to music and put it out into the world to guide you to asking yourself the questions that will help you to be present with you so that you can learn how to be present with others and learn how to be present with the Lord. And it all feeds into presence and the gift you give others of being present. It's okay for you to give yourself that gift, for you to give the Lord that gift, just being there. Body, what do you need from me? God, what do you need from me? Husband, what do you need from me? Child, what do you need from me? And breathing deeply and deciding what your garden within, what your soil needs in order to produce good fruit. So this is me telling you to be still. Ask yourself what you need, then make sure whatever you learn, you write it down. I hope this has been helpful, and I want you to go in peace today. I want the peace that you have from listening to my voice Thinking about the water running from your head down your shoulders, down the spine of your back, running underneath your bottom, down your hamstrings, all the way to the tip of your toes. I want that peace, like if you were laying on a beach right at the edge of the water and the water lapped up and lapped back and you felt the sand deepen underneath you. That peace. I want it to follow you today, all day. And when you go to bed at night, I want you to claim peace and presence. And when you wake up in the morning, I want you to claim peace and presence. And I want it to follow you and cover you and direct you. And I wanted to help you refute the lack of peace coming at you from everywhere else in the world. Peace is your birthright because God gives it to you. He gives it to all of his children. My peace I leave with you. So if you're not peaceful, if your body is not at rest, if your mind is not at rest, you should claim it. This is me offering you for today, shalom. Go in peace, and I'll see you next week.