Unlocking Joy: Crafting a Life Filled with Fun and Fulfillment
Chrystal Hurst moved from workaholic to someone who treats joy as essential, not selfish. She uses a dying houseplant metaphor to explain how relentless work causes "root rot" in the soul. Ecclesiastes and her mentor Tommy Nelson taught her that enjoyment is a God-given gift, and she offers practical steps like trimming to-do lists and scheduling spontaneous activities to create margin for fun.
Chapters
I have one son who's in college, and he called me and he said, hey, Mom, I'm going to DC this weekend. Well, he kind of accidentally told me, and I was like, well, first of all, first of all, let me just say this. My parents didn't know what I was doing in college, okay? It wasn't no cell phone. There was no Life360. I was just gone, you know what I'm saying? I was just gone praying for the best. Now we got so many tools, we know exactly, can pinpoint. Uh, one time Joel zoomed in and said, Mom, can you bring me some Five Guys? And I was like, I'm not at Five Guys. He says, yes, you are. Find my iPhone says you're at Five Guys. Okay, so You probably cannot guess this about me. In fact, I'm sure that you're going to be totally shocked and surprised when I tell you I'm a little bit of a workaholic. I actually love working. When you love what you do, you don't want to stop doing it. This has been the case for me in all the seasons of my life. Currently, not only am I working with all things A Sister Circle, I work at my dad's ministry, The Urban Alternative, and I also work in the women's ministry at my church. I do a whole lot of things. But everything that I do, because the Lord placed teaching women in my heart in my 20s, I come alive doing it, and I love everything about it. And I will do all the things myself. I will write and send the emails. I will learn a little bit of graphic design in Canva. Well, I learned the tech, and did I figure out how to get this teleprompter situated? I did. Y'all know I'm a little bit of a geeky girl, and I love all of these things. I will teach myself a little Adobe. And then there are times when I have to say, Chrystal, you got to stop doing that so you can start doing this. But usually doing this is still related to work because I love work so much. I love the activities that I get to do. I love the business that I get to run. I love the women that get to run with me. I enjoy it. This was true of me when I was home with children and the focus of my time and energy was homeschooling my kids. I loved homeschooling my kids. Because it was the focus of my attention and I wanted to do it well. And so I enjoyed all the things related to school, and I enjoyed reading to them, I enjoyed grading their papers, I enjoyed going to the homeschool conferences and learning how to be a better teacher and learning how to be a better student of my children. I love that. Fast forward or backward engineer back to my 20s when I was in corporate America, I love that too. You name the test, I sat for it. CPA exam, sat for it and passed it. CFA exam, I got to level 2, and then I decided— I got married and decided that's not what I wanted to do. But you told me what was available to do, I wanted to do it. Got a degree in accounting, ended up working in institutional money management. I was an associate VP, stock picker, spreadsheet manager to the most. If you tell me there is a goal— firstborn, achiever, perfectionist, whatever you need to call me, driven— I'm gonna go get it. And it doesn't matter what it is. Just tell me what it is, and I'm going to figure out a way to make it a game, and make it fun, and make it enjoyable. Because I like doing, and I like checking boxes. Let me tell you what I'm not so good at. I'm not so good at having fun. Years ago, I had an experience that I've never forgotten, and I still have the tape series, y'all. Some of y'all don't know. The cassette tape series in my possession on the shelf, the little tape series container is falling apart, but I have never forgotten it. And one of these days I'm going to push play and put a phone nearby it and digitize it myself. Tommy Nelson of Denton Bible Church here in the Dallas-Fort Worth area came to our church years ago. My church is Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, and he taught at Vacation Bible School on the book of Ecclesiastes, just the meaning of life and really what does it all matter? Because if we're all going to close our eyes and immediately be annihilated, then what's the point? But when you believe that, okay, Jesus did rise, and if we are going to be somewhere else after we die, then living now is not just about living for now, it's about living for later. But the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:12. So I concluded, and this is the wisest man that ever lived. He said, there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat, no problem there, and drink, no problem there, and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are the gift from God. And he made a case for just, yeah, prioritize spiritual things. And yeah, do the right things, you know, work, provide for your family, make sure you have a roof over your head, but don't leave out the fun. It's not natural to me to create fun. I have to actually— it takes effort for me to sit down and think about how am I going to plan in the fun. Because if you give me a weekend where I have nothing to do, you want to know what I want to do? I want to go to my favorite coffee shop with my laptop and my favorite sweater and work. Now, working may look like writing. It may look like writing a book, writing a blog post. It might look like getting caught up in Asana. We're Asana geeks over here. It may look like I'm sending emails, getting caught up on emails. It may look like getting some reading in, usually nonfiction related to leading well or to managing a team, but It takes energy and effort for me to take a break. I have found that— I've been told and I've discovered that that may be common to founders. So, uh, leaders, CEOs, founders, you build something because you love it so much and you build it. And so you have a hard time taking a break from it. But what I can promise you is if I don't make room for fun, if I don't make room for just pure enjoyment, I know that as my life continues to ebb and flow on this side of the second half, that I'll regret that. I'll regret not making room just to do nothing with my grandchildren. I'll regret not making room to just get on a plane just because I can. I'll regret not making room to sit by my pool and just enjoy a beautiful day outside. I will regret that because I do enjoy it once I make space for it. There are things in your life that should be a part of your life. Any amount of too many of those things and your life will be out of balance. I talked a little bit before we got going in the official teaching about my dying plant, y'all. My dying plant, it's a real thing. She actually looks worse than she looks now, and I am doing my best to resuscitate her. I talked to her last night, and I'm not even talking— a talking plant person, but I really want to make the best effort to give her a chance at life. And so I repotted her in better soil I've been trying to water her as she needs it. I've been sticking my finger deep in the soil to see how she's doing. Does she need more or less water? And the reason why is because I want her to live. So I'm checking her soil to make sure that she has the right balance. She's not too dry, not too wet, that, that she is getting the sun she needs. Y'all, I ain't never picked up the plant and put it in front of the window, but I'm like, you know what, is she getting enough sun? Does she have enough light? I've been making sure— I usually play music in my house, but I've been making sure I'm playing music because somebody told me your plants enjoy music. And me, like a dummy, I'm running around talking to the plant, playing music that I think the plant will love, putting her in the light. Why? Because I want her to live. Some of us end up in situations where we are having to triage ourselves or those we love, where we're having to provide crucial care to someone who is in dire straits because we were not managing and caring for the bodies before we got there. Sometimes life, there's nothing you can do. Sometimes things just happen out of the blue. We just buried a 19-year-old cousin in our family. There was nothing anyone can do. Totally random. And you have to ask yourself, why God? And why now? We have to trust that God knows what he's doing. But I'll never forget what his mother said. She said, "I'm just so grateful. He was such a great boy, and that's why it's so hard. Truly a great boy. I'm so glad I got to have him for 19 years." Listen, I'm so glad that God has blessed me with 51 years. And if I look back and look at the photos that I've taken, and look at the things that I've been able to do, I think I've done a few things that are nice and that I'm glad I did. But it usually wasn't my doing. It was my parents taking us all on a vacation, or it was me just trying to keep the kids from pulling my hair out or pulling their hair out. So we would get out of the house and ride the train downtown to go to the library, or I'd get tickets, student tickets to the symphony, just to keep those jokers busy and out of my hair. You know, when you have little kids, you gotta be fun to make sure they don't tear up your house. But as I settle into this season of my life and it's not about them, the question is, well, what do I need in my soul? What do we need, my husband and I? What does our family need with children who are older that don't really, really do anything? Or with a child of mine who has 5 little children, what does it look like for our family to create memories? What does it look like now that me and some of the girlfriends can go out without me having to worry about small children being left at home? There's a shift of mind in every season that you have to decide to make, because without fun, without joy, you'll have root rot. Too much work will result in root rot, and too much fun will result and root rot. I believe in setting your financial goals. You girls in the Inner Circle know that. You've got that 21-day financial course that you can take advantage of anytime. Go in and search and go through the basics. But sometimes— and I know we got to get out of debt, and I know you need to pay your bills, and I know you got to make room for fun. I had— there was a— we used to go to a camp, and we still do, called Pine Cove. We went there as a family. And the time— a large portion of the time that we were going, the president's name was Mario Zanstra. His wife's name was Lynell. And one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about mentoring and discipleship and teaching is because I have been so blessed to have been taught. My mother was an amazing teacher. But when I look at beyond my mother, I've had aunts and grandmothers. But I also had other women in my life. And Lynell was one of those women. Mario and Lynell had 7 children— have 7 children. And when we would go for camp, she would always have a meeting for moms. And she would go, and we would go while our kids were being taken care of. And she would pour into us and talk about how we could protect our hearts, protect our children's hearts. We would talk discipline. We would talk, how do you do it? How do you get dinner on the table with 7 children? I just had 3 or 4. And I was like, how are you doing this? She would allow us to learn from her in practical ways. But one of the things she said was, with 7 children, it was really important to her that none of her children felt that they weren't getting attention. And so on date day, her husband, for all the children that were old enough to do so, he would take them to Sonic and he would spend 20 minutes, 7 children, y'all, bring kid number 1 back, kid number 2, so that they each felt individually seen. In the first 10 years of our marriage, we lived walking distance of a Sonic, and we would walk to Sonic. And I remembered that lesson. To this day, my kids remember walking to Sonic. Now let me tell you why I was walking to Sonic, and let's be clear, it was between 2 and 4, because I was broke. I was broke, but I had enough money to get them a small drink half price between 2 and 4. Did they ask for mozzarella sticks? They did. I said no. They got their drink, and we sat there and we chatted. And when I had to do this with my older children, I would take the younger children in the stroller if I didn't have anybody else to help me with them. You have to look for what do you need, what does your soul need, and your soul needs fun. Tommy Nelson, the example that I remember that he gave He said, do you not realize that God wants you to enjoy your life? That he put Adam and Eve in the garden and he said, eat of any tree. There's one I don't want you to touch, but have fun with everything else. He said to Adam, listen, it's not good for you to be by yourself, so I'm going to give you a banging chick over here. Enjoy that. Enjoy it. Y'all enjoy each other. Adam, and these are the animals. I've created them. I could name them, but I'm gonna let you do it. Just make stuff up. Fun. Enjoyment. God put all this color in the world. And Tommy Nelson said, "Every now and then have ice cream. And sometimes when you go to have ice cream, pick a new flavor just because you can." What's your favorite flavor? Make sure you enjoy it every now and again. Right now in my freezer, I have a pint— don't shoot me— of pistachio almond Häagen-Dazs ice cream, because Häagen-Dazs makes the difference, okay? There are only a few ingredients and you can pronounce them all. I also have a pint of, um, pineapple coconut. Let me tell you my favorite thing. If I'm having dessert, I am gonna have some chocolate chip cookies with a scoop of pineapple coconut and a scoop of pistachio almond. I know you might think that's nasty. I know you might think that's nasty. I know you might think chocolate chip cookies, pistachio almond, and pineapple coconut do not go together, but let me tell you something, I like it. So I make sure I keep those in my refrigerator. And I think the first time I had them, it was an accident. I think it was an accident. I think I put a scoop of one on there, and then I thought, I want two scoops, and I went and accidentally got the other one. And then I realized they were two different ones, but I was in there eating it, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is good. Do you know that some of the best things in your life will be accidents? And then it's up to you to decide if you want more of that. If you have a great conversation with someone at church, maybe you're not the person who wants to talk to your neighbor, and you know, you got to go to Bible study night and they're making you talk to people you don't know. But I have found that if you keep sitting at the same table, that those accidents can turn into intentional relationships. It's all about what you do with the unexpected. If you have too much work, you'll rot. If you have too much fun, you'll rot. How do you know the difference? This is why we're reading The Garden Within. You gotta know how to test your soil. You gotta know how to pay attention to— do I have too much of a good thing? Do I have too little of the right thing? And how do I fix it? And just like I'm doing with my plant, you gotta watch it. How's it doing today? What does it need? Fun is not natural for me. It's not natural for me to like go online. I mean, when the kids were little We used to have the Dallas Guide, and it was in the newspaper, you know, back when everybody got a newspaper. And you would open it up, and it would literally tell you what was happening in Dallas this weekend and next weekend. And I would mark the things that were free, and I'd be like, we're going to do that, we're going to do that, we're going to do that. As the kids have gotten older and they get involved in their own fun activities, I've kind of let that go a little bit. But I have a friend who's single, and I always look up on her Instagram, and I'm like, where are you? She's like, oh, this weekend, you know, there's the, the taste of whatever in this part of town. And then I look up and she's on a lawn somewhere listening to jazz. And then I look up and she's over here, and I'm like, how do you find out about all these things? She's like, on Instagram. I follow people who are telling me what's happening in Dallas. She's being intentional because she could be sitting at home talking about how she don't have no boo, or she could be living her best life. You have to choose to live your best life, and you have to choose to fast forward what you want to feel good about when you're 80. Let's assume for a second that you're going to live to be 80 years old. When you look back on every decade of your life, you should have each decade marked by something good, because it will probably automatically be marked by something hard. Life is going to be out here lifin', y'all, and it's gonna toss things into your path you do not see coming. You do not expect and that you don't want to engage with. This is what's going to happen because life can bring and will bring at the most unexpected and the most terrible times hard stuff. But Ecclesiastes says there is nothing better than for you to be happy and enjoy yourself as long as you can. You should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, because these are gifts from God. He has given you the gift of enjoying life. Now, if you're not enjoying life, that's on you, because you get to decide what will make you smile. Listen, my husband and I bought an RV. It's a story we can talk about now without getting into a fight. When he wanted to buy that RV years ago And I was looking at our budget, and I was like, I know about all the times you have told me I can't do this, and I can't do that, and I can't do this, and we can't afford that, and then we have to stay in our budget, and we got to save, and we got to get the kids, and do it. And I am killing myself. I am cutting coupons. I'm going running around town doubling and tripling back when, you know, people that messed it up. But then before that, we were able to do a whole lot, OK? I was doing all the things, like killing myself. I can take one chicken, y'all, to this day and make 4 meals. Still can do it. It's one of my family's favorite dishes. Killing myself. So when this man said to me, I want to buy this RV, I was like, well, what? What? We don't have the money. He said, well, I was thinking I could do this and I could do this. And I was looking at him and I was like, oh really? That what we doing? I gave him my peace. I was trying my best to be a submissive wife, but I was an honest and communicative wife. I said, based on what you've told me, I do not think that that is a wise decision, but I don't want to keep you from something that will bring joy in your life. So if that will bring you joy, I want you to know that it will detract from the goals we said we had. But listen, I'm so glad I let him have that without much drama. And I am so glad I kept my mouth closed. Let me tell you why. Because to this day, those are some of my children's best memories. It was an old, broke-down RV. And we drove that thing to Maryland 3 years in a row when the kids were still in diapers. And we had to stop on the side of the road and let somebody pee in the grass over there. You know, when we were packing coolers in the back. No, you can't go in. We're not getting McDonald's again. We don't have the money for that. I mean, it was rough. And now I look back and I realize we were living a little. We were living a little. And because we lived a little along the way, I can say so far it's been a good life. You are invited to join me at the Sisters Circle Retreat 2024. It'll be held October 9th the 13th in upstate New York. And I would love for you to come by yourself, with a friend, or with a group of girls. It doesn't matter, but I want us to get together to talk about what it means to live a life you love and how you build that life brick by brick. If you want to know more information, simply go to thesisterscircle.com/retreat. I'd love to see you there. My grandmother, when she was nearing death's door, and I think she knew it— my dad's mom— I wasn't there, but I was told that she looked at my grandfather and she said, his name's Arthur Sherman Evans. She called him Sherm. She said, "You know, Sherm, we've had a good life. You've given me a good life." I remember my mother looking at my father. And say, what is it that we said we would do that we haven't yet done? Where have we not traveled to? I've had such a good life. This is what you want to be able to say. So let me give you some practical tips, okay? What keeps you from fun? What keeps you from fun is your to-do list. What keeps you from fun are the lies that you're telling yourself. What keeps you from fun is a to-do list that's way too long for things that can actually wait. What keeps you from fun is the lack of margin in your life. What keeps you from fun is not having the practice of slowing down, of having Sabbath, of having a lazy Saturday morning every now and then. What keeps you from slowing down and having fun is overwhelm, busyness. And I know that sometimes it's the seasons. You can't control what you have to do when you have a new baby or that you're dealing with grief and loss and fun is not on your list. At that moment. I understand that sometimes you're responsible for too much and you have too little support in all the things. I get that. I understand that. And there are seasons where fun is not the priority. But the Bible says Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, said, I am convinced that you got to make time to be happy and enjoy your life. Now, people have taken this too far, and they do a lot of things in the name of, well, it's just my time to be happy. And people will leave their spouse because they need to be happy, and people will blow money because they need to be happy, and people will be irresponsible because they need to be happy. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about if you're handling your business, if you know that if God were to come for you today, you could stand before him knowing that you were doing what you were supposed to do. Are you making room for the stuff that brings you joy? And do you even know? Do you even know? You gotta have fun, you gotta be happy, you gotta enjoy your life because it will keep you connected. With the girl in you. And for some of y'all, the girl in you looks like my plant. She is wilting because she's got too much work and no joy. She's wilting because she's not near the sunlight, getting the rays she needs to flourish. She's wilting because you're not paying her any attention. Fun is an act of worship. You want to know why? Because when God created you, he didn't create you to work only. He didn't create you to checklist only. He created you to walk with him in the garden. Do you know what that looks like? Conversation, intimacy, relationship, connection. He didn't just give us mono food. He gave us apples and oranges and bananas and blueberries and raspberries and all these different things. Why? So you could choose. So you could choose and decide what you like best. I met a lady one time that came to a Coffee with Chrystal years ago. I was doing an in-person event and she said, I just want you to know, every time you say you get to choose, I'm reminded that it's okay that I figure out what I want. My husband passed away. I was a widowed mother of young children and all I did was know what he wanted. And then when he passed away, All I had to focus on was what my children wanted. And once my last child graduated, I went to the store and realized I didn't know what fruit I liked. So I've just been going to the store, trying fruit so I can figure out what I enjoy. Do you realize that half of the battle of learning what you enjoy is just trying stuff? Just try it. Stop saying you don't like stuff that you haven't tried. Stop skinning up your face when other people do things and you're like, I would never do that. It's just too much work. It's too much. Try it. Stop being so cynical about what you might enjoy in life. Try different foods. Try different fun things. Engage with a meetup group online. Let someone else show you what they enjoy doing on a weekend. Try a book, a kind of book that you've never read. Who knows? Maybe you might like it. Try a store that you don't normally shop at. Try a new route when you go walking. Try a new state. If you always like the beach, try a mountain vacation. If you don't think you want a long flight, find a cheap one and try to fly overseas. Just see. Fun matters because when you relax and think about what brings me joy, you are agreeing with a part of what God said you needed for your soil. Having fun helps you to take life not so seriously. It also makes you feel alive. Because, you know, I, I jumped out of a plane once. Feeling nothing like it. I don't know that I'll do it again, mainly because I don't want to tempt fate, and also because them straps they put around your thighs, they was tight. They were tight. And the whole time I'm flying through the air, I'm like, Lord, don't cut off my circulation, please, God. And Lord, don't let me land on this little man, because the man that I was parachuting with, flying with, he was little. And I was like, if I land on him the wrong way, he might lose his life. But while I was in the air, it was amazing. So how do you add fun? First way I often think is underrated. When you're on social media or when you hear about what other people are doing and you feel a twinge like, I wish I could do that, write it down. Sometimes comparison teaches you what you actually want out of life. When you feel a twinge of jealousy or envy, why? What do they have that it is that you want? Write it down, because some things you can control. Make a list of what is fun and life-giving to you. If you don't know, get online. What's happening in your city? And just circle the things that seem to resurrect or incite excitement in your heart, delight in your heart. What makes you go, huh, I like music, so I'll do that. Huh, I like food, so I'll go do that. Huh. I like doing this. I like— what do you like doing? And let the things that are happening in and around you incite. Ask your friends, what do you do for fun? Get ideas from other people. Now, this is another one. Be spontaneous. If something comes across your path and you're like, I'm not dressed for that, I didn't plan for that, I'm not sure if I have the money for that, I'm not sure if I have the time for that, do a quick assessment, but don't allow your planning spirit to get in the way of enjoyment. Every now and again, I jump in the pool. Why? Because I just— Chrystal Hurst needs to practice spontaneity. Now, that's somewhat planned. I got to know my hair is on its way out. I got to know— I got to know I had to wash my hair anyway. I have to know that what I have on, I don't care that much about the chlorine getting in it. But those two things aside, every now and then. Why? Because sometimes going with what is available to you and is in front of you is good. We actually have a close family friend who was single for 10 years. Married for 20 years and then single again for 15. And a gentleman pursued her, and she was like, I literally have to think about this because I have been single and enjoying my single life and having things the way I want it for a while. And she said, I just don't know, like, I wasn't planning on this. I was planning on being single for the rest of my life, and, you know, I don't know. And, and then, you know, at some point she said, you know what, I enjoy being with him. When he doesn't call me, I miss it. And I realized that there is no guarantee because you can be shell-shocked if you've tried to be spontaneous in your life before or tried to enjoy things in your life before and it didn't work out. She said, I'm a little shell-shocked because that first marriage was a little traumatic, but you know what, am I gonna let this opportunity— because he's a great man, I enjoy him, uh, high character, other people love him, he's passed the approval test of all these other people— maybe I'd just allow myself to love again. Sometimes in order to have fun, you just gotta go with the flow. I want you to learn to take advantages of the opportunities in front of you. Where can you serve? What are the invitations that you're receiving? What is something interesting that you could just try out one time? What are classes or events that are in your areas that sound fun to you? What makes your heart light up? And if you don't know what makes your heart light up now, Look back in previous seasons when you were a little less weighed down and what ice cream did you like eating? Even if you didn't do it, even if you just participated in it, what event did you like going to? Because maybe it's time for you to restart the fun engine in your life now. It's not going to happen automatically. You're going to have to be intentional. You're going to have to schedule it. You're going to have to choose it. You're going to have to make time to think about it. And then when you're there, be present. Be present. Put your phone down. All eyes, all ears. Let the moment palpate in your heart so that you can hold it in your heart and you don't forget it. You got to be present, and you got to be the fun person. Listen, I don't want to be the fun person. I realized the other day with all these boring, quiet teenagers in the house, and, you know, just, eh, if we're going to have fun, I got to be the fun person. And I'm not the fun person. I am attracted to people who are fun because I want them to create the fun. And I just want to join in, you know? But I realized that if I want the memories for my family to happen, that I'm going to have to pull out the board game. Because what I'm actually in love with is not the board game. Like, there are some people who love the board games. I'm in love with the memory. I'm in love with the laughter. I'm in love with the connectivity. And sometimes, even if you want someone else to create it, if it's not happening, you have the power, a woman, of life. You can create life in physical human form. God gave you that capacity. But you have the ability to palpate a room. He gave you a sixth sense. He gave you the power of intuition. And you have the ability to see what's needed. And if what's needed is fun and levity, you have the ability to provide it and create the memory to create the joy. So on a scale of 1 to 10, where are you? If 10 is, oh, I'm always the fun. I'm always bringing the fun. People ask me to come to the party because I am the fun. There is never a day goes by that I am not having fun. And actually, fun might be a problem because I believe in fun. If that's you, you're a 10. If you're like, I am not fun, and I know I'm not fun, and I do too many other things to have fun in my life— if you are the opposite, put a 1. If you are somewhere in between, go ahead, go ahead. What just sounds fun to you? What is a fun opportunity or activity that you can take advantage of? Who can help you to incorporate fun in your life? Tap them on the shoulder. Make a plan. What is something fun you can do in your life this week? You gotta have the fun. You gotta choose the ice cream. You gotta go out and see all the colors. You gotta try the fruit. You need to do whatever makes you feel like you're alive. Let me read the whole passage to you. Ecclesiastes 9. What do people really get for all their hard work? Because I have seen the burden— because life be lifin'— that God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful in its time. He planted eternity in the human heart. But even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. So I concluded that there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy yourself as long as you can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruit of their labor, for these are gifts from God. Listen, I have one son who's in college, and he called me and he said, hey Mom, I'm going to DC this weekend. Well, he kind of accidentally told me, and I was like, well, first of all, first of all, let me just say this. My parents didn't know what I was doing in college, okay? It wasn't no cell phone, there was no Life360. I was just gone, you know what I'm saying? I was just gone praying for the best. And I wasn't trying to hide it. It's just my parents weren't helicoptering. Now we got so many tools, we know exactly, can pinpoint. One time, Joel, girl, zoomed in and said, mom, can you bring me some Five Guys? And I was like, I'm not at Five Guys. He says, yes, you are. Fine, my iPhone says you're at Five Guys. We know too much. We know too much. But he called me. My son called me and said, I'm going to DC. And I said, you know, I started in, who are you going with? Da da da da. But I ended up saying this to him, and this is what I want to say to you, so listen carefully. I said, listen, son, college is a great time. You should have as much fun as you can. But here's what I need you to remember. The Holy Spirit lives in you and everybody is not wise for you to be with. So I need you to think, is this person a person that you're trusting your life to because they're driving? Is this a person that based on the choices that they would make, you feel comfortable? Is this a person that you are okay with seeing what they see, hearing what they hear, and doing what they do? Because if you're in their car and they're driving, you are at their mercy. I trust the Holy Spirit in you. Choose wisely. And he said, yeah, I feel like this is good. He actually said, Mom, what you're saying is piercing my heart. Thank you for trusting me. But yes, I feel confident that this is okay for me to do. I said, well then, son, have a good time. He was in DC this weekend seeing museums, biking around the town, hanging out with friends. This is the stuff life is made of. But somehow, when you start your life, if you're not careful, you can let go of the things that life is made of. And what'll happen is you'll have dry rot. Too much work, not enough play. Too much play, not enough work. Too much of thinking in your own mind what's good and pleasant, not enough studying the word. Too much studying of the word where you are no earthly good. Balance. If you thought, cuz somebody told you that God did not want you to have fun, that he did not want you to enjoy your life, that he did not want you to laugh, that he did not want you to play, that he did not want you to have joy, that he did not want you to enjoy all the colors and try all the fruit. Somebody lied to you. So it's the second quarter, y'all, and it's April, and this is the time when you get to start thinking about what you gonna do this summer. You don't have to wait till the summer. Do something in April. You can start thinking about what do you want your life to look like, especially as the weather gets prettier, things warm up, as the days get longer. You get the opportunity to be intentional. And I'm not talking about Candy Crush fun. That ain't intentional. That's called a dopamine hit. I'm talking about the intentional joy that when you're 80 and you look back on your life, you'll be glad you did. 'Cause here's the deal. If you're not enjoying your life, there may be some things you can't control, but don't ever let what life has stolen from you dictate what you can add back. Why am I telling you that? Because my plant still has a little bit of life, y'all. And the lady at Cox Farms Nursery said, "As long as it's still fighting for life, we'll just keep amending the soil." As long as you're still alive, You get to choose.
