Your Big Three - Coffee With Chrystal #alittleQC

live event this weekend that is on the internet that is live. So I— we gonna have to fix— figure this out. And it's never done this before like this, so I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what— all I know is that my computer has been trying to teach me something for a while. That's what I know for sure. It's been trying to tell me, girl, we can't do all of this. So the music is back on. Okay, let me turn it off if I can. If I can even find it. There we go. I turned it off. Turn off the music. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. So here it is tired. Yes to updates. I have not upgraded my computer to Catalina because there's a particular software that doesn't work on Catalina. And so I was trying to not need that software before I upgraded. Maybe that's a part of it, but really y'all, it's the computer's 5 years old and live streaming takes a lot of energy. So that's the reality. But here's what I wanted to say before I, before I got off, before I got off, let's see here. Hold on one second. Me. Okay, um, okay, so here's the deal, y'all. I was trying to do something. That's why I'm also so very distracted today. You said go order that computer that you put in your cart. Oh, okay. Here's what I was going to say before I got interrupted. One of these things about this idea of the 3 things, one of the reasons why this is so important is because you, if you can do this for other people, it completely transforms your relationships. Do you understand what I'm saying? If you can find 3 things to celebrate about the people in your life daily or monthly, or, you know, maybe you and your husband go out on a date once a week. If you can say, hey, this month I really appreciate how you— if you're attentive to those things, um, it totally, totally, totally can change your relationship. Because if it changes you by recognizing what you're doing well, then, um, then you doing that for other people changes them. And in changing them in a positive way, when you are celebrating what they're doing right in their life or in your life, it changes your dynamic. It's the same principle of gratitude and of positivity and of optimism. It changes your perspective. You become a person who's like, oh my gosh, I didn't do anything today to saying, you know what, it's Saturday and I didn't do anything today, but look at all the things I've done all week and I deserved a day off. It changes your perspective. Yes, Chantel, paying attention to your life changes your perspective. So paying attention to the lives of other people can do the same thing. So I want to encourage you in closing, oh my gosh, and then I'll take some questions until it shuts me off again. Hopefully that doesn't happen, but until it shuts me off again, you know, we won't, we won't work on that. But I'm gonna ask you to do me a favor. I was trying to— I'll share something in my Insta Stories. I'll set it in my Insta Stories, so if y'all are on Facebook and YouTube, you'll see it later on today. There's something I want y'all to do. To help me wish my oldest son a happy birthday. And if you are on Instagram, I'll put it in my stories there too. So just look, we're working on a little secret email address so y'all can send him some happy birthday messages from the internet aunties. And then I'll maybe connect his email to one of my accounts for those of y'all who wanna send him some money with Zelle. Like not a lot of money, y'all, like a dollar or two, 5 bucks. Anyway, so that, you know, that way he'll feel a little celebrated. Anyway, turn the spa music off. I'm not moving off this hill. Okay, so questions about setting goals, about setting your Big 3, I mean really about anything but questions. And then what we'll do on Facebook is probably pull these videos down, stitch them together. In fact, one of my kids can do that. They've been learning Adobe Premiere. I'm gonna— okay, so Monique and Marissa, if y'all can just pull the videos down off of YouTube, hopefully we could get them, and then send me the files, then I will give them to the boys and let them stitch them together, and then we'll re-upload the whole thing. That's what we'll do. Okay, y'all are arguing about the spa music. Okay, question: how do I deal with racism? Okay, another question: did the Lord reveal to you the 3 big things you need to work on? Australian money. Okay, I don't, I don't know, I don't know. So I, I don't know, I don't know. Okay, did the Lord reveal to you the 3 big things that you needed to work on? I do believe that praying and asking God for direction is one of the ways that you get your big 3. That's one of the reasons why I've talked about before every morning getting up in the morning and saying to the Lord, what is important to you for me today? Like, that's one of the reasons why I asked that question, is because I want God to interrupt my plans and to say, well, actually, I know you had plans, but this is what I had planned for you. So I do think that's a part of it. I also think that you do that not just daily with your, you know, with the day, but, um, you know, yearly. But when you set your goals— let me set this back up here— when you set your goals, you should ask God about all that? Because what if he is thinking of bigger plans for you than you're thinking for yourself, which he always is, by the way. So yes, he does influence, but I don't think that asking God to tell me what my big 3 are in a day, in a week, or a month resolves me of my responsibility to do my work too, because he created me with a will and he created me with desires and he created me with passions. And it's my desire— it's my goal— it's my responsibility rather to tap into those things. So it's kind of a partnership. Must buy music. Maybe I'll share a link to that, Marissa, um, in the resources for today as well. Um, we can share a link to the planner. Well, no, we're not selling the planner right now because we're going to wait until we get the new version, right, for June 1st. Okay, so, um, but we still have some, some yearly ones we're trying to get rid of, so we can, we can put that link up. All right. And then how do I deal with racism? This is a humongous question. I hope you know that it's a humongous question to try to answer in this format here. However, I will say that there's, there's a couple of angles and it depends on the situation, of course. And it depends on who I'm dealing with. Cause some people that you want to educate or interrupt their thinking, Um, let me put this up higher so y'all can see it. They don't care. So wasting your, wasting your time trying to educate somebody or explain to them the importance of how they're treating you and they don't care. You know, the Bible says not to cast your pearls before swine. So it depends on who you're dealing with. That's the first thing I want to say. Um, the second thing is when people are close to me and they care, like I have a lot of white friends that when you start talking about institutional racism, and the systemic racism that has affected people of color for so many years. And so the starting place is just not the same. Um, you know, I, you, so I don't have a problem at all talking, like I have a friend who was writing something and then she came back and said to me, how does this hit you though? You know, as a woman of color, as a black girl, how does this hit you? And I said, honestly, the way that you said that takes into no consideration, this, this, that, and the other. But we have a relationship and so much of what we want to do relationally has everything to do with how we come at people. You know, it has everything to do with how we, um, how we engage with people in relationships that we already have. So I think you have to be aware that the conversation about racism, it depends on where you're at and who you're talking about and who you're talking to. Um, Okay, and then the third thing is, is doing things on a grander scale that make a difference. For example, Shaun King on Instagram. I follow Shaun King. He's doing a lot to help people, um, understand the plight, particularly of Blacks in America, but particularly of young men, young Black men, because it's a whole situation. And him just sharing the things, and sometimes, y'all, it's horrific to watch, Even I, as a Black woman, have had my eyes open to things that don't happen, that haven't happened to me, because you have to understand that in addition to racism, there's socioeconomic dividing lines. And when you talk about color and you talk about money and you talk about location, like these are all things that impact systemic racism for different folks. And so what he's taken on his— and y'all, it's hard. It's hard to watch. So let me just tell you that now. But if, but if you are like, I want to have my eyes opened, there are a lot of ways to open your own mind. And that's another thing is saying to people, hey, that are not looking for it, we're going to put these images up, these videos up, these photos up on social media because you don't want to know these things are happening, but you need to know, you need to know. Um, and so I think that it's a balance. It depends on who you're talking to. It depends on what you're trying to achieve and it depends on who you are and what you feel confident doing. I, as a woman of color, have had to even myself have some self-education and some things, but I don't, right? I don't think that every, when you ask me how I handle racism, I have to handle it my way. When somebody is being racist towards me, sometimes it means I stand my ground. Little things like people, sometimes it's so small, but people will expect me to move. If I'm walking down the sidewalk, they expect me to move. And I don't, because I have the right to be on the sidewalk just as much as you do. You know, sometimes it's acknowledging that the person is following me around the store and saying to them, hi, do you, do you need something from me? Because I'm actually fine shopping. It's calling it out. You know, there was a teacher that was in our co-op and he was asked to be relieved of his duties. Because of a comment that he made to two Black boys in the class. I personally would not have asked for him to be relieved of his duties. However, I do think calling him out and saying, hey, what you said is totally racist. And it is totally embarrassing for a Black boy to hear you speak to him in front of his classmates in that way. Here's why you would never, you would never have said this to a white boy in your class, but you said this to my Black son. And that's not, that's not cool. Calling, because here's the deal. Sometimes y'all, people don't even realize, they don't even realize that they're the way that they're operating is, is, you know, it's racist. And so, but I love that teacher and he has taught all of my kids. I would have pulled him aside and had a conversation with him. So I think we have to decide based on relationship, based on the situation, based on connection and based on responsiveness, what you do to deal with it. Um, I want you to know that Sometimes, um, I think we just have to call the elephant out in the room. Like, I have friends that I can say, I can say to them, girl, are you just inviting me to do this? Cause I'm your one black friend. You need, you know, you need more black friends, don't you? But like, that's relational. I can say to them, cause I love them and they love me. Do you need me to introduce you to some more black? I mean, I'm happy to come and serve with you. However, this probably shows you that you need more black people in your life. You know, I just think we just have to, we have to acknowledge that there are people out there who really don't want racism to be a thing, but they don't even know that it is a thing, you know? And that I have to acknowledge that there are some things that are happening in our society that are not part of my story, but does that absolve me of a woman, a Black woman, of helping to right the wrong? No, it doesn't absolve me. Does it mean I have to take, make it my platform? No, it doesn't mean it has to be my platform either. So sometimes just calling things out, saying it is what it is. You know, with my boys, I have to tell them, it is what it is. When you walk into this room, there are going to be people who have assumptions about you because of the color of your skin. And unfortunately, until you prove them wrong, they will hold the same assumption. Is it your responsibility to set the tone for all the Black men in America? No, I don't want to put that weight on you, but is it your responsibility to change the minds of some of the classmates that will see you as a certain way. Because listen, there are some people that, you know, color makes a difference, but socioeconomic status makes a bigger difference. And when I had a friend tell her son, listen, if you screw this up, if you screw this up, we don't have a plan B for you. But a lot of these kids that you're going to school with, because of the caliber of this school, you got a full ride here because of the caliber of this school. When those kids flunk out or get, get suspended because they got drunk, Their grandparents have a trust fund for them and can afford to have a plan B. They can make a phone call because they went to school here. Um, you know, that good old boy network, they can write a check and send them to some other school. She said, you need to understand, we don't have a plan B for you. And if you're hanging out with kids that do, their reality is not your reality. I mean, I think that this streak of just acknowledging it is what it is, make it better, but right now it is what it is.. And I have a white friend that said to me, she said to me, I, I'm not, I don't consider myself to be a racist person. However, there are viewpoints that I have that I didn't realize that because of the system that I had a way of looking at things that wasn't correct. And I feel horrible about that. And I said, girl, take your time and learn. Take, we'll learn together. Take your time and learn. And I, and for me, just her as my friend saying, listen, if I say something and I screw something up, Please know it's not my heart, you know. And if I say something and I need to understand that there's another, another way to look at this, please teach me. I'm here and I want to learn. See, half of the battle is elephant in the room. And then when you know better, and here's the key, to do better. Not just say, I'm so glad I know. Not to just say, that's so horrible. Not to just say that, oh, I didn't know that these things were happening. But as much as you can in your season of life and where you are to say, Okay, now what can I do? You know, who is fi— who are the people that are fighting these battles? How can I contribute to the work that they're doing? Who are the people who the travesties have happened? Is there a petition that I can sign? You know, like to say, I'm willing to do something. And listen, I know a lot of, a lot of Black people, if you ask them, what can I do? They don't even know how to answer the question. Do you understand what I'm saying? They, they couldn't even tell you what to do. So for some of us, like we're all learning together. I think that as we all know better, we can all do, and that's the key word, do better. And I think if we all can just acknowledge that it's a problem, it's a problem. It's been a problem for, for centuries. But now as different people who are passionate about making this their platform say, hey, listen, this is what I can do. This is what I want to do about it, but I need capital. I need funding. I need team. I need voices. I need people who are in high places who have connection to make a difference here. Then you can say, as those opportunities come to you or as you seek them out, hey, I'm here. Hey, I'm here. You, you hear that somebody's trying to show up for a court date for somebody and you know you got 500,000 miles in your American Airlines account, message them and say, can I help you get— can I help you get there? Like, that, that is how we— that is how we create a new network. That is how we create a new network. Um, one of the things I'm most proud of about the Sister Circle online event, y'all, is the color. And I had a girl email me and she said, what, no Latinas? I said, come on now, I got some white girls, I got some Asian girls, of course I got my black girls, I got an Indian girl. I mean, okay, I didn't do a Latina this time, okay, it ain't like I— I mean, but I got some Latina friends now. Okay, no estoy loco en mi cabeza. Okay, I have Latina friends, but my point is, is I'm very proud of that because I feel like that is actually a representation of my actual friends. Like, this is actually my life. I have a lot of friends of a lot of different nationalities, a lot of different colors, a lot of different socioeconomic statuses. And you know, and I, and you know why? And I'm going to say this and then I'll stop. And then y'all can put other questions down there. Here's why. Because I'm a Black girl who went to Black school in my neighborhood and I wasn't Black enough. And then I went to a white school that was 10 minutes down the street and I wasn't white enough. And then I went to a high school that was mixed race and I tried to get in with the Black kids and I talked too proper. And then the white kids, I hadn't been in, you know, I hadn't been friends with them. Since the third grade. So I wasn't included anywhere. Like I never fit. And then I realized that's because none of those things define who I am. None of those things. It's not about how I talk. It's not about what I look like. It's not about who my friends are. It's not about me being in the in-crowd. It's not about what the grades are that I make or how much money that I make. It is that I have been the one-income family person who is desperately teaching kids classes so that I can afford the classes that I need to pay for, for them. But I have also been the woman who has had to sustain or assist in a big way our family's finances because of my husband, my husband's health issues. And every— a lot of the things that I do right now are for that reason. It is because I'm, I gotta— I'm over here trying to make ends meet. So I've been the working mom, and I've been the single mom, and I've been the working woman, and I've been the woman who has a lot of money in the bank. And then I'm a woman who my stuff went red because I didn't have the money in the bank. And I have unemployed, and I have been, you know, all these different things. And I've been the homeschool mom, and I've been the, you know, so much of my life has been looking at the reality of my situation. So I've been the Black girl at the Black event that's super churchy, and I have been the Black girl at a totally white event, you know. And I'm conscious that how I come in those areas that I'm just bringing me. So I think racism is a big issue, but I also feel like y'all, we have to acknowledge that we are who we are and we're all doing the best we can. We should all grow. We should all call the elephants out in the room and then we need to know better. And when we know better, we do better. All right. My husband, uh, Nicole Guerrera. Yeah, Instagram froze again and I don't even know how to fix it, and I'm afraid to touch anything on my computer. I'm just like afraid to touch it. I just don't even know. Yeah, I don't even know. I see it freezing and I don't know. Okay. Hey, Latinas, you're showing up. You're showing up. Okay, so there were some other questions. Let me find them. Okay, somebody asked me what happened to my husband, and then I— oh, here it is. So I wrote about it a little bit in She's Still There, and basically he He is a series of things, but, um, you know, in 2010 he had a major health event and then there've just been a series of things since then. And so right now, um, you know, he's just, his, his primary job is being healthy. That's his primary job. And I'm glad that that's his primary job. Um, because him being healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually means that I have the freedom to be healthy too. But basically, he— in 2010, there was a, you know, a major health event, and, and that just led to a series of other things. So we— I can't, I can't remember what I've said about him. That's why I'm hesitant. I know I wrote about it, but I don't remember what I said. For those of you who actually read the book, can you tell me what I already said? I just don't want to say too much or too too little. Y'all can tell me and then I'll tell you what I already said in the, in the book. Okay, a couple of other questions. Sorry, I stumbled over that one because I was gonna talk about it, but then I was like, wait a minute, let me double check and make sure I can say what I want to say. The questions are going too fast. Have I watched The Chosen? If I haven't, watch it, please. Okay. So I'm going to put that up and then put it on my list. I've heard it's good. I've heard it's great, actually. All right. Looking for more questions. I saw that again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Stand by your man. Uh-huh. Little Tinas are showing up strong. Okay. Andrea Archibald says, when you're public and someone recognizes you and wants to say hello, Is that okay? 100% yes. 100% yes. But, um, here's the thing that happens to me often, y'all. I'm so not like ready. Like, some people come out in their makeup and they come out ready to be known. I come out looking crazy. And so when someone walks up to me in Costco and goes, hey, I follow you on social media and I've been watching all of your lives, I'm just— I'm always like this. Oh, hi! And contrary to popular belief, um, I am an introvert, so I, I'm always caught off guard when somebody does that, and it takes me a minute. So if you ever talk to me and I just kind of look at you like a deer in headlights, just give me a second. I'll warm up, and then I will probably ask you what your name is because I really want to know, and I will thank you for following me because I'm really grateful that you do. So yes, it's okay. Somebody said, "I knew it." Okay. How do you balance working outside the house? Ooh, and having a husband and small kids? Well, I mostly work in my house. Balance though looks like me having help in my house so that the kids can ask a question to somebody else with their homework if I'm not available. I also do things like this, get up early in the morning so that I can make sure that I am done with a lot of the things. I've been up since 4 this morning. So I sent some emails, I got some work done. I did some writing. I unclogged the toilet, a lot of things, but then, you know, my kids are still asleep. So Zoom groups sound like fun. That would be fun. Maybe, maybe. Okay. Marissa, here's an idea. Like having a large Zoom group. It would probably be too big. I think we only pay for like up to 1,000 right now. That might be a problem. I mean, hey, Oprah did it, so it's possible. Her Zoom group went up to 40,000, so there's that. Okay, I know I was— I'm, I'm being nice today with staying on longer because I know that y'all Y'all, this has been a whole situation. Have I ever visited Guyana? Guyana is where my mother is from. Yes, I have. I have. I have visited Guyana. Most of the time I wake up, um, Stephanie Alfonso on Facebook. Most of the time I wake up, um, about 5, between 5 and 6, um, but today my eyes opened and there were things I needed to do, so I got up. Um, Cheryl said, you make me feel so much better about myself. I, I'm assuming that's a compliment. Good for you, Ronde, for riding your bike for 2.5 miles. You've been up since 5 AM to watch my live. Mary, you've been getting your emails, but you haven't gotten anything from me in 3 days. That's because we haven't sent anything in 3 days, but there's something coming today. Okay. Any other questions? Uh, ooh, this is a big— where can you contact me directly? My email is chrystal@chrystalevanshurst.com. Uh, yes, I do podcast. So that means I'm not doing a good job, Shania, of telling you about my podcast. You can simply listen to podcasts by finding me, searching Chrystal Evans Hurst or Chrystal's Chronicles on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify, or you can go to chrystalevanshurst.com/blog and my writing and my, my, my talking is, is there. My podcasts are there as well. Okay, how did I get connected with Better Together? Um, Christine Kane, before they started, she was like, I'm putting together a list of names of women I think who'd be great on the show. Are you open to doing that? I was like, sure, sure. Um, the videos— well, Stephanie Jackson, the videos for She's Still There, they are currently online. You can go to Faith Gateway— Study Gateway— studygateway.com. That's where you can go get the videos. Of course they had DVDs and you can purchase those and have them sent to you, but if you just want to watch them online, studygateway.com is the way you want to do that. Okay, um, hmm, Heidi, you saying you couldn't find my first podcast? I don't know, they should be there. I haven't taken them down. Uh, Lanise, how did I know I wanted to speak and how did I get started? Well, basically I didn't want to speak, but I wrote a book with my dad and then people were like, oh, you speak? And I was like, I do? Yes, you do. You wrote a book. So I started speaking, but I've been watching my dad be an excellent speaker all of my life. So I just looked at him and did what he did. Do you have a cleaning schedule? So I have somebody who helps me clean my house. So that is my cleaning schedule right now. Um, she comes every other week to clean my whole house. That said, when I was cleaning my whole house by myself, um, I did have a cleaning schedule. Um, I did a rotation. I didn't do the whole house clean in one day because it was frustrating to me to spend the whole day cleaning it. And then in an hour of everybody getting home, it's messed up again. So I cleaned it on rotation and I created a rotation for deep cleaning my kitchen, deep cleaning the kids' rooms. And I did a little bit every day. Or, you know, 3 days a week. Um, and then, you know, some things of course every day, like sweeping the kitchen floor, but the deep cleaning, moving the furniture, vacuuming, um, once a week I would have my kids participate in the shared area cleaning. So while I may vacuum and deep vacuum a room, move a bed, move a chest, all that, then, um, once a week though, the kids would do that stuff. Does that help? Um, somewhere one of these days I'll go back through my control binder and start recreating all these systems that I used to have. Right now though, my best way to clean is to look around my house and realize what needs to be done, and I write it on the whiteboard. When the kids get up in the morning, here are the things that I noticed last night that are awry in our home, and fix them today. You— yeah, that's the accent that you heard from my mom from Guyana. Mm-hmm. Okay, how is your father, Mr. Evans? He's doing good, he's doing good. You know, we're all on the healing journey that will last the rest of our lives, but he's doing good. Okay, uh, when do I decide on my big 3 for the day? So this is referring to, um, our situation. And basically, um, if I'm gonna plan it ahead of time, then in theory I would do it the night before, but often I wake up in the morning and grab them then. So my daily big 3 I would say more realistically, I write them down in the morning and constantly I'm walking around with a notepad. And as I get things added to the page, if I need to switch my big 3 because life happens, I do. Oh yeah, y'all, I'm on Better Together all week this week, by the way. So if you're not watching, you should go to TBN, um, and look for Better Together because it's a great episode this week about mental health. Um, the Inner Circle again is— oh good, some stuff is that I ordered is arriving today. Um, the Inner Circle is an opportunity for people to get bonus content from me. There are levels. So the level that's available now gets extra content like this. When these, when we're done with quarantine, these will come down and go into their final resting place in the Inner Circle library. But there are other levels that get to do other things like 21-day journeys, 90-day journeys, hear content shared by speakers. Speakers year-round. So that's what it is, and you can go to chrystalhurst.com/innercircle. There it is on the screen. Um, when I go to celebrations, do I do line dances? One— yeah, girl, all of them! And some of them I still don't know, but, um, you know, dancing is fun. It's fun. So yes, I dance. I figure if David can dance before the Lord, I can dance before the Lord, and I can dance as long as it's not anti-Jesus. I can dance. Okay, let's see, any other questions? Yes, I have a fan mail address. If you go to my website, chrystalhurst.com, and click on Chrystal and then Contact Chrystal, you'll find it right there. Did I talk with my parents about my racial challenges? I didn't really, because my parents' thing was, you're not Black, you're not white, you're not— you know, I should say this— before you're Black, before you're white, before you're a girl, before you're a boy, before you're even an Evans member of our family, you are a Christian. God determines who you are and what you do. So So everything else. So we just kind of, we navigated it. Um, but it was always pointing towards faith. What should you do because of your faith in this scenario? You know, and if people don't expect anything from you because you're a Black girl, then you show them differently. It was like, don't waste time trying to convince people of things. And there wasn't the push culturally right now for change. It was just make sure you get in and get your scholarship and get out and prove everybody Okay, you know what, Tippies, you said, well, I would just— women over 50 having the courage to switch careers. I will just say that, listen, you only get to live once, and if you have to switch careers right now, or if you want to switch careers right now, you only get to live once. And the worst thing to die with, I've found, I've heard, I've read, is regret. So if you're gonna switch gears right now, do do it. There's a doctor who I know who in her 40s went to medical school because she had 2 children who were ill. And she went with the goal of learning the lingo so that she could talk to the doctors. And now she's a medical doctor who practices both traditional and alternative medicine, is extremely well-educated because so much of her education she gave herself in addition to what she learned in medical school. And she did that when she was over 40. So there are a lot of people who are doing things later in life, and so it's Only when you decide to lie down and say, I'm not living, that you stop living. But you can choose to live as long as you like. Um, active children, they need, DeAndrea, opportunity to go outside. Make them run, make them ride bikes. Um, let them, you know, a lot of us are like trying to calm down when really their God-given energy is just that, God-given. So take your kids and go out to the park, spray them down, wash them down, and sanitize them, and then bring them back home. But let them work it out. So my boys and I are doing a Couch to 5K program just for that reason. They are boys who need to get outside, who need to get outside. Okay. What do you use for my hair? Whatever I bought last. I'm not committed to a brand, but I like trying things. Okay. Raven Lambert says Spotify does have all of them. Just sort from oldest to newest. Yay, Mancubeg, you're watching from Nambia. That is awesome. Tiffany Butler says, "How do you overcome nervousness before speaking publicly?" You know what, the first time I spoke at my church, I was talking to a friend and she said, "You know, you're really good at one-on-one conversations, so I just need you to imagine that right now today you are having a gigantic conversation, but with one person at a time. Those one people just all are in the same room together." And I think that's one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten. Because the reality is you're really trying to reach one. Now you may do that in a scenario. And of course, talking to 300 people feels different than talking to one person. But if you can say, if that one person gets what I need here, then I win. It changes the way you see it. But the other thing is you just have to do it. And the more you do it, the more prepared you will feel and the more nervous you'll get. I don't feel like I'm not never nervous, I just know what it is to push through it and, and do what I have to do to move forward. How did you find the person cleaning your home, Millicent? Recommendation. I like literally texted people that I knew and said, do you know of anybody? Because if they're gonna come into my home, I got to have some personal reference. Okay, Michelle Gadsden said, if we are not a writer or a speaker and aspire or, um, but aspire to be both, can you participate in the summit? 100%, 100%. And the information about registering for that event, chrystalhurst.com/tsonline. Um, okay, I think I'm going to wind it up now. Um, you know what, for a long time, M, I used, um, on YouTube, I used Care Care products, you can get them now from Walmart. So they still, in fact, I may pick up, there's just one cream that I've never been able to actually replace, but I love Karen's Body Beautiful, I love, I love this one grease, but that it doesn't have any toxins in it, it's called Nature's Blessing, I love that, I love OGX, their shampoos are great, Their products are great, but I mean, y'all, really, I just try to keep my hair clean and rotate the products. Okay, you know what, Demarie Rivera, any advice for women over 40 still single? Well, advice for what? So it depends on what you're asking me, but I would say, and I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but oh my gosh, live, please live. Please do all the things you've ever wanted to do and don't wait to live until you get married or until that guy comes along. Live. Find some girls who have the same interests you do or maybe you're in the same socioeconomic bracket and take some trips together. See the world. Like whatever you'd want to do with your spouse, start. Start and just know that if it's the right man and you're the right woman that eventually y'all will run into each other. So without knowing the detail, oh, you want to find a godly husband. You know what? I literally was on the phone with a friend last night who said— was talking about introducing her to some godly men. And I— Jen Johnson of Bethel literally has a mixer and she invites godly men and godly women to meet. She said, why are we tripping right now? Y'all know y'all are looking for somebody and I know y'all. So I'm gonna put— string some lights up and give you some good food and some good drink and let y'all meet each other. And I was like, I should totally do that. I may be able in the next months to have a place where I could do that, and I could invite all my single friends and all my single, you know, invite my other married friends who have single friends to invite their friends and just have 50 people out there and let them meet each other. But go where the men are. I mean, if Ruth can lay down at Boaz's feet, go where the men are. But ultimately, you know, just live your life. Live your life. How's my heart today? My heart is good today. It's good today. My mom would be really, really happy about this online event for this weekend. She'd be happy about the teaching. She'd be happy about the attendance. She'd be happy about the lineup, and she would be proud of me for doing it anyway. So, um, so thinking about that is helpful. All right. Oh, invite Mandisa. I could totally invite Mandisa. Hmm, maybe I'll call her today. We'll see, we'll see. Um, thank y'all. I see your comments here. Okay, all right, I think that's it. So y'all look at my stories later today. Today I'm gonna put up a special way that you can say happy birthday to my son, and I want to thank you in advance for doing that so we can light up his inbox with all the fun things. Okay, bye, y'all. Have a great day. I'll see you tomorrow.