Your Big Three - Coffee With Chrystal #alittleQC

Y'all are like, what is going on? I think that because I've been trying to look something up and my computer then is trying to think about something else, it literally is saying, I cannot do that, Chrystal Hurst. I've been trying to tell you for a while that I cannot do multiple things and you keep acting like I can and I cannot. So, um, I'm just not going to to— we're just— I'm just going to stop touching my computer. That's what I'm going to do. Going to stop touching my computer. So I do have to go now and get Instagram back again, cuz that's a whole nother step. But then I'm not going to touch anything. I'm not going to touch anything because I— because yeah. So, um, let's see here. I'm not touching my computer. That's what I'm not gonna do. All right, so now I have to do this, I'm gonna have to do that to get Flash to come back so that it'll turn on the Instagram thing, y'all. Okay, and then I'm gonna have to run through my points. Oh my goodness. All right, let's reload that. Okay, so we were talking about— right, y'all are like, what's going on in here? Oh my goodness, my goodness, my goodness, my goodness. Okay, so while I get Instagram back, because that takes a second, um, the bottom line with the boys is that I just want to provide the bumpers You know, I mean, the goal for me is not for them to stay home and it's certainly not for me to always be in control. The goal is for them to understand what it looks like to live healthy with boundaries, because y'all, we, we all need boundaries. We all need boundaries in our lives or we're not healthy. You know, if we can do anything we want whenever we want, that's not, that's not a healthy way to live. Okay. So I think I have Instagram back online. I hope they should be online shortly. Okay. So anyway, but you know, somebody said I don't have kids yet, but here's the thing. This is a principle for living. You know, having boundaries is a principle for living. Oh, I have to press this button. I didn't press that button. Okay. Now I should be live. All right. Alright, so here's the thing, y'all. I wanted to talk to you today. Um, as soon as I get my Instagram people on here, um, I wanted to talk to you today about your big 3. So I'm going to jump into that so I don't continue to take tons of your time. Um, let's see here. Hey, I'm trying to figure out how to forward the email to his iCloud. Currently I can't figure it out yet. So that's what I'm trying to figure out. I don't know if you know how to do it faster. Okay. Let me see. Yeah. All the things I'm working on at the same time. I forgot even what I was doing. I picked up my phone to do something and now I can't remember what I was doing. What was I doing? Lord Jesus. I was going to talk to you about the big 3, your big 3. So one of the reasons why, um, one of the reasons why having a big 3 is super important and I have my big 3. In my planner, which is somewhere over here. But the planner that I made has a big 3. It has a big 3 for 90 days. It has a big 3 for your week. It has a— and for me, then I translate that into a big 3 for every day. One, because I want to be successful, and sometimes there's so many things going on in our lives that we don't feel successful because we had 20 things on our list and we didn't get any of them done. And so, um, the reality is that if you can just narrow things down to 3 things, then you probably can get those 3 things done and feel somewhat successful. Um, and success breeds more success. There's this saying that Sean Cannell said the other day that competence breeds confidence. And it's true. Once you can convince yourself that you are a person that— the intro music is playing. Ah, is it playing? See, and this is why I normally have it in my ear. Okay, it's not playing now. Okay, or you can call them the big rocks, right? I feel so discombobulated this morning. I'm so sorry, I'm like, uh Where am I and what am I doing? Okay. All right. So basically you want to think about what are the most important things. So let me just walk you through how to have big 3. I'm going to walk you, I'm going to walk you small to big and then big to small. Okay. Small to big is Starting with your day today, you can write out your list of 10 things that you got to get done, but then after that, pick the most important 3 things. Okay. Then in reverse, at the end of the week, after you've been doing that every day, you can say, okay, what are my, what are the biggest 3 things that I did this week that were important that I'm super proud of? Then after a series of weeks, you can do that by month. Okay, looking at all the most important things you did every day and after the month, what were the most, what were the 3 most important things that were more important, you know, that were most important for the month, then do that for the quarter. And then you will start to see that your little efforts add up to big things that you're able to accomplish. So let me give you an example. If you said this week, I want to make sure that I'm setting aside as a student, 2 hours of study time every day. At the end of the week, you'd say like, wow, I actually studied for this one class 12 hours. I put in 12 hours for this one class. At the end of a month, you would say, man, I have put in 50 hours studying for this class. At the end of 3 months, here's what you might say. You know what? By golly, I made an A. So my bigger goal of being a good student happened by the small things that I did every day. Now that's one way to look at, because today we know it's important. And sometimes for a lot of us, goal setting is hard because we're trying to think a year in advance. And then we're trying to figure out how do we make that work? And for many of us, that's overwhelming, but we know what's important today. You know what I mean? We know what's important today. And so the reality is, is that if you can think about what's important today and then say, if I were to keep doing this, here's where I'd be in 3 months. Don't try to think about 3 months or a year. Just think what's important today and go like that. Now, the opposite is also true. I believe that at the beginning of the year, uh, or the beginning of the next rolling 12 months, that if you— and this is all like in my planner, like I have a whole— I don't even know where it is. Is it online? See, I tried to clean up, y'all. That's what happens when you clean up. You move things, you move your cheese. Anyway, it's in the planner, and that's one of the things we do during the 90-day journey. And that'll be coming up for those of you all who are just joining, um, and you're trying to figure out what I'm talking about. You have to understand that my computer has frozen twice this morning, which has meant I've had to start over. This is my third time. But if you have no idea who I am or what I'm talking about, my name is Chrystal Evans Hurst. And what I'm talking about is a journey that we typically take in the Inner Circle, in the Inner Circle, where for 90 days we walk with you together to reach your goals. Okay. Right now we're doing this 21-day journey, which is getting to know who you are so that you can even create goals. But at the end of the day, what we're trying to do is help you know who you are so that you can do what's important so that you can move the needle in your life. So that's what we do when we do the 90-Day Journey. And there's a whole planner that we have and a whole setup for getting it done. But I want to go through it the other way with you. And this is the drive-by because really this is something that should take you a minute. But at the beginning of the year, I sit down and I write down, I just brain dump. What are all the things I'd love to do this year? Yes, I'd love to lose 50 pounds. Yes, I'd love to declutter my home. Yes, I would love to get a book written. Yes, I would, I I would love to create an organization or hire 3 people or make this much money or grow closer to my relationship with God. Like, just, just throw it all out there. What would you like to do? But then you say in the next 90 days, what 3 things can I do? Okay, so lose 50 pounds. I'll give you that as an example. Lose 50 pounds in the next 3 months. What's reasonable? Okay, so I'll call out a number, right? Then I break that down. If I'm going to do this over 3 months, how am I going to do that every month? Okay, so then every week and every day, there should be something that I'm doing that contributes to that goal.. But for 90 days, I only have 3 big goals. I would only say like my goals, and I walked everybody through this super slow when we did the 90-Day Journey. My goals are like, and 50 may not even be the number, but let's just say because 30 is easily divisible by 3, that I want to lose 30 pounds. That means I need to lose 10 pounds a month, right? So my big 3 for the quarter is to lose 10 pounds, but let, uh, for the quarter is to lose 30 pounds. But let's say I also want to, um, declutter my home. So in the next 3 months, I would like to declutter 3 rooms in my house. That's another big goal. Then the third big goal might be that I want to purchase some new camera equipment. So then I would break that down. Every month I need to lose 10 pounds. Um, um, every month I need to declutter one room and every month I need to save a third of the money that I need to have for the camera equipment that I want to buy. Well, then that affects what I do every month. And then that affects what I do every week and every day. So every day in order to lose 10 pounds, I got to keep my calories under a certain amount, or I've got to avoid the gluten or whatever the case may be. And so I praise myself every day for doing something that's important. If I want to get the camera equipment so that maybe I mean, that means I turn on, you know, I write a budget and then every day I'm checking my bank account. That would be one of my wins, right? So you're thinking about how can I take the big things, my whole year, break that down into my 3 things for the quarter, break that down into what I'm going to do every month. And then at some level, when I get to my daily planning, somewhere in my week, there should be a day or every day where what I'm doing contributes towards my monthly goal, which contributes towards my quarterly goal, which contributes towards my yearly goal. Do you understand what I'm saying? So you can do it forwards or backwards depending on what your brain can handle. Does that make sense? Hold on. Okay, she's leaving me messages. So, um, so that is the principle of the big 3, your big 3. And if every day— this is a mother friend of mine who actually is one of the presenters, the encouragers at, um, the event this weekend. She has raised 8 children, all of them. Well, she has 2 still at home. And her whole thing is at the end of every day, don't have a big to-do list. Just write down the things you got done and celebrate that. And if all you got done every day is, uh, 3 things and you have small children, you win. You win. Okay, somebody said something about my volume. Is my volume a problem? Let me know if it's a problem because I want to fix it, but y'all have to tell me. I got to read your comments in order to fix it. Okay, so my thing is, if every day you do— you, you hit a big 3, but you can hit it from a lot of angles. You can get to the end of the day and say, here's the big 3, I win. Okay. Or you can plan from your day. You know what? These are the 3 things I want to do today. And how are those things going to— what are those things going to look like? So you, every, every day you can say, what are the big 3 things I accomplished? At the end of the week, what were the 3 most important things I did? At the end of the month, what are the 3 things that I did with some consistency over, over this last month? Some consistency, and I feel really excited about it. And then you can look at that over the quarter, and then before you know it, the year will be over and you'll see what are the 3 biggest accomplishments that you have. Or you can work it the other way around, the other way around. Think about your whole year and then break that down into bite-sized chunks. You know, there's a lot of people that have goal-setting things, and, and all those things are great. I mean, Goodness, I'm one of them. I got a whole planner that has— helps you to reach your goals 90 days at a time. But what I'm telling you is you can do it in whatever way works for you. Do you understand what I'm saying? And that can be a daily thing that you do so that you're not stressed out. Because if you're stressed out, you won't reach your goals. You, you just won't, because you'll stop doing things before you ever keep going. You'll be like, I give up. I give up. I lose. I, I lose. So here we go. All right, all right. I was doing something. Big 3: build it daily and go out and go up to the year, or start from the year and build it back. But what I'm telling you is that every day— here's the most important principle of the Big 3. The most important principle of the Big 3 is that every day you give yourself a pat on the back for what you did. Every day you should look at your day. You should go to sleep and say, at the end of the day, this is— I did good today. And you know what? And if you didn't do good that day, say, you know what, I'll do better tomorrow. You got to learn to give yourself grace and to say Every day is a new opportunity to begin again. The Bible says that his mercies are new every morning. If the sun can rise the same no matter what you did yesterday, then guess what? You can get up today and start again. Stop giving yourself grief because you didn't do the thing that you set out to do. Stop giving yourself grief because you haven't been able to finish that project. Stop, stop talking to yourself negatively in your head because the resolution that you had in 2018 is the same one from 2019. That's the same one for 2020. Just give yourself a little grace, you know, and just say, today I'm gonna get up and do the 3 things. And another thing that is a principle that I teach is that there is so much power in confessing with your tongue what you're going to do. Because if you tell somebody, you don't want to have to ask them, tell them at the end of the day you didn't do it. So that may be your spouse, that may be your kids, that may be a friend, but say, okay, so listen, I'm just trying to be committed to my of things that I need to do in my life. So I just need to text you today and tell you what, what are the 3 things. No matter what, I'm gonna do my best to get these 3 things done today. You know, give yourself a little bit of accountability. Somebody says, I struggle with beating myself up. We all do, girl. I don't know, there are so few women that don't beat themselves up, it's ridiculous. It's a problem, which is why we have to be so intentional about celebrating, celebrating our 3 wins for today, celebrating our 3 wins for the week, celebrating our 3 wins for, um, the year. So, La Maestra, La Maestra, you said, did I have to adjust my Big 3 during quarantine? Did I have to adjust my Big 3 during quarantine? Um, yeah, one of my major goals I had to adjust. Major. Mostly because, um, I'm looking at you. Um, mostly because, you know, life has been different. Life has totally been different. And it's okay. It's okay. Um, there are a lot of things that have changed. Um, but it's okay. It's okay. One of the reasons why I say y'all, after this week, I cannot come on here live every day is because one of my adjustments was, uh, just dealing with all the stuff that happened and me having the space to write. I've got a book I'm working on and my normal pace, I could not keep up. Um, not just because of this, just because a lot of things that were happening, right? And so the reality is that I had to adjust my goals for that. Now, when I stopped doing these, One of the things that I'll be doing, thank you God, the world is opening back up, is getting to Starbucks at 5 o'clock in the morning. My husband is like, "That's so sad that you can't write at home." I'm like, "That's because y'all love me and want me to fix you breakfast. They want me to have conversations with y'all." And the mornings that I get up and think I'll be all to myself is the morning where some kid will get up early and want to talk to me. And I love y'all, but I need to go somewhere else so that I can get it done. So you have to be flexible, and if you can't be flexible, then you will always be losing. You will always be losing. Part of the best way to give yourself grace is to shrug your shoulders and to say, it's gonna be all right. Uh, Priscilla and I— and I've said this before when I, when I talk, when I, when I speak— one of the things Priscilla and I have said to each other since our cousin Winter died is just that: Winter died. We say that like if I'm fussing about something and freaking out about something and stressing out about something, she'll say, Chrystal, winter died. That is code for get your act together because it could totally be worse. You are still here. You still get to choose. Tomorrow's a new day. You can do it differently. You can try again. It's okay. It's, it's, it's y'all, it can always be worse. So you just have to give yourself grace and say, you know what? I, I