3 Storytelling Techniques to Boost Leadership Skills

Again this week, and we're basically here today to talk about storytelling, a very exciting subject, with a very close friend of mine that is extremely talented. Today, the session is called 3 Storytelling Techniques to boost emotional intelligence and leadership skills. I'm Claire Hayek, founder and CEO of MSP Team Building and certified neuroscience coach. And joining me today is Marina Khoury, or as Lebanese people would say it, Marina Khoury, a film producer, creative coach, and accredited EI life coach with experience in emotional intelligence and storytelling. Hi, Marina! Hi, Claire!

Hello, hello, hello everyone. Hello to Claire's audience.

I'm glad to be here. How are you doing today?

Great. So excited. This is one of my favorite topics to talk about.

So this is awesome. I'm really, really happy that you were able to make this happen. It was kind of last minute and these are always, these make the best basically lives and podcasts. So when something just works out, So, without further ado, today we're going to talk about how storytelling can enhance leadership, improve emotional intelligence, and help leaders and their teams thrive. Okay. Now, before we start, you know the drill. If you're joining us for the first time, I'm always going to ask questions. I'm going to be sharing some questions in the poll. I really want to know where you're joining us from today. So, please do use the chat. And tell us where, which part of the world you're, you're joining us here today. So I'm going to be going back and forth on the chat to see and interact with you. So please do interact. Please do participate because this is the best way that we learn by integrating and by communicating. All right. And I want to say that we have Connor from our team that usually is here with us sharing links and sharing information in the chat. Hey Connor, there you are. Are you there? Oh, we got Ophelia. Hi Ophelia! Ophelia's from Montreal. She's also on our team actually. She's our new hire. We're very excited to have you, Ophelia. And hey Connor! All right. So, let me just dive right in here.

Okay.

So Marina, we often say that the best leaders are great at telling stories, right?

Yes.

Right? I mean, I've heard this so many times. And we know that storytelling is a very powerful tool for leaders, for managers, for communicators so they could convey their vision, inspire their teams, motivate, and establish those deep connections. So, Marina, you're a film producer. I mean, you've done so much in your career. We've actually worked together. Marina actually helped with one of my video clips back in the days, music videos. I mean, you're very thorough. You're very creative. And now, let me pick your brain today. So, from your experience and all the projects that you've worked on, creative projects you've worked on, what are some ways that leaders can actually use storytelling to boost their emotional intelligence and connect more deeply with their audience or with their teams?

Right, so I just want to make an introduction here quickly. We as a species, we communicate, right? So we evolved through storytelling and through sharing experiences, and this is what makes us bond as a tribe. So in order for us to continue evolving, we need to share those experiences further on. And, you know, like a good storyteller We are all a good storyteller. We were born like that. It is a skill, but it's also a way of thinking. Through my experiences, stories have an incredible power. This is what I've noticed. You know, you need to have a story in order to have a good script.

Absolutely.

So they not only entertain, educate, inspire, but they unite. And why they unite? Because they are based on the emotional connection. That creates a trusting atmosphere in a team.

Okay. Okay. All right. So I like what you said about we're all storytellers, that we're all— this is just innate in us, right? I guess the difference would be that we haven't maybe used that ability much or practiced it enough, or maybe we've underestimated the power of it. And this is why we're having this talk actually today. So I'm curious to know here in the audience if you currently use any storytelling as part of your leadership strategy. And again, we talk a lot about leaders and leaders is a big, big definition. I mean, a wide definition of who it could encompass. But whether you're a leader with a team or just an entrepreneur, a solopreneur, you can still be a leader. But somebody that has a vision that is basically interacting with colleagues, with partners, with their team members. That's our definition of a leader. And solopreneur is also a leader. They're leading their project. They're leading their baby. They're leading their business forward, right? So in a way, we're all— I see that we're all kind of leaders in our own ways. Even if we're a dad at home or a mom at home, we're leading the way because we are leading our kids forward. So very, very general and wide definition of a leader is. And again, here's the question. Do you currently use storytelling as part of your leadership strategy? Yes or no? Please do put it in the chat and we'll be going back to this. And by the way, we'll have some Q&As right at the end. But probably, if the chat starts blowing up and we have a lot of questions, I would love to kind of interact and go directly to the Q&A in between these questions. So, moving on here, Marina. So, We talk a lot about emotional intelligence and we say that leaders that have a high emotional intelligence are definitely more effective at managing people, at connecting with people and helping, kind of encouraging and improving collaboration. Can you explain to us, Marina, how emotional intelligence and storytelling can work hand in hand and how these elements actually come together to improve leadership or more strengthen leadership.

Right. So storytelling is a way of conveying the information through the stories. And what it does, it creates this emotional connection. Complex ideas are more easily assimilated when they are shown and spoke about in a story narrative. It makes it more memorable. So because our brain is wired that way, so we follow more a logical narrative, like when you tell a story once upon a time, you know, like it comes from our childhood memories. So it's especially important in leadership. And I want to just take a chance to tell you an example. Elon Musk actually is a great example because he knows what to say and how to say it without the old tech stuff. And I would recommend watching when he presents a project that he has, how he talks about it. He just shares his personal experiences. And so this is how he starts, by sharing what it does for him, why is it important, the values, and where the team is heading. So in order to have somebody follow you, Mm-hmm. you need to show them how the world will change with you. And this is particularly important in big leadership because when you put your personal experiences, your challenges, and everything that you lived through inside this vision that you are conveying to your team, it builds that kind of projection. They want to follow you because you inspire them, you motivate them to join you. In order to achieve that goal. Okay.

So, having that connection with, I guess, emotional intelligence in a way, it could be related to storytelling because when we're emotionally intelligent, we're in touch with our, you know, we're active listeners. We're good communicators. So, these kind of go hand in hand in the way that we use that emotional intelligence and that sensitivity that we have towards others and connecting with others and be able to inspire them in order to convey a message or motivate or inspire, right? Okay. This is— yeah, go ahead.

So, the important is actually to tell anyone, the audience, how the idea came about, what value it represents, And especially how it will change the clients' lives, the world's lives. And it's just more than information. This is an inspiring tool to gather the people and show them how the change is possible.

Okay.

So when you talk in images, it's more relatable to the audience. They bond better with you. They listen to you. And then you see the reactions. And so this is the second section of my talk.

Can't wait for the next section. But so I think what you said is really interesting when you talk or speak in images. And often, you know, we've seen that, you know, the great communicators are the ones that, or storytellers, are the ones that bring you literally with words into the scene. So you literally visualize what's happening when, you know, let's say they're telling a story about when they were in a specific situation, in a specific place, at a specific time. I'm not gonna go and give an example, but so, but here we are. They literally transport us in time to that room they were in. what it smelled like, how the lighting was. So, they're literally painting the image in front of you. And in a way, our brain is so fantastic and unbelievably extraordinary that is able to visualize and translate that into literally a movie in our mind, right? So, And so, I find that leaders maybe don't leverage this enough and don't use this enough as a tool in order to kind of like act like a magnet. You know, you're really drawing people to your message. You're drawing people to your vision and you're bringing them into the experience in order for them to feel what you're saying as opposed to just hear what you're saying, right? And see what you're saying as opposed to only, you know, hear what you're saying, right? So it's all kind of all these sensory levels are stimulated in that sense.

That's a good point that you are talking about, Claire. And because the story has a structure actually, and this is what makes a good storyteller from someone who doesn't know how to use those tools, right? So first you have the structure, you need to have a setup. And as you said, time and space and environment is very important. So you just project your, uh, your audience into that space that you are creating for them, right? And then you have the details. You add more details to what you're telling. And then the key component is the emotions. So those 3 are really necessary. The emotion makes it more lively. It's like food without salt or without spices. You know, you have to add—

Right.

it, to make it alive. And this is where the trigger is actually, because once you have this emotional connection with your audience, you are already magnetizing them, as you said, and you make them live that story with you. And it's the same, you know, in marketing, in customer service, you just attract them. And once you attract them with that trigger, you can do whatever you like. I mean, There's no boring storyteller. There's no mundane leader, or sometimes people think, oh, my life is so routine. I don't know how to start talking about something. But we are all, we have all these lives, right? You are unique. You have your own life. I have my own, and our stories are not identical. So whatever you're telling, this is new to me, and you can actually attract me with your story because this is personal to you, right? It enriches you and we, we don't know what it's about. So that's what's interesting. You need just to start and tell your story. And because we like to communicate and whatever you will tell us, it will bond. There's these 3 components that need to be there. And then you're, you're a key leader.

Right. I mean, it actually, it's simple. It's really simple. You just have to do it instead of kind of holding back because you're in more of a judgmental, self-judgment, or saying, it's not good enough. Who cares about what I have to say, etc.? Well, let the others judge. And the minute that you're really being genuine about your story and you're really feeling it and reliving whatever you're communicating, automatically, people will be drawn to it because we are wired that way from what I see. And, but I think authenticity and being genuine is— and feeling, you know, you cannot be like a robot telling a story. You really need to feel it. Just be human about it. Just be true to yourself and then everything flows from there. It doesn't have to be perfect. The words have to, you know— perfectly aligned in a perfect structure. Eventually, I guess we get better. But the key here is to start. This is extremely interesting. I'm loving this talk so far and I'm not surprised. So let me share another question here with the audience. So which emotional intelligence skill do you want to improve most in your leadership? And I've basically shared 3 options here just to simplify things: empathy, communication, or conflict resolution. So, what emotional intelligence skill do you want to improve most in your leadership? Empathy, communication, or conflict resolution? And this could definitely be improved with storytelling. This is what we're talking about here today. And this is why we're bringing this up because these are things and challenges that most leaders have when it comes to emotional intelligence. And sometimes, well, I think most of the time, if we can leverage storytelling, that could really help us along the way. I'm just gonna jump into the chat, Marina, and see if there's any activity there. Oh yes, there is. Sorry, I haven't been checking the chat. But we got Herman Ramos from New Jersey. We got John Antonucci. Hey, John from Greenville. And we got people from Atlanta. Thank you so much for joining again. Hernán here shared that he's mostly used to share examples. Right. That was the first question we asked. Like, how do you use storytelling to improve your leadership? And Hernán here says that he mostly uses it to share examples, which is a great way obviously to explain something or to connect with the audience and for them to understand the point you're trying to make. Thank you so much for sharing that. And we got Marcus here from Atlanta. So again, thanks for joining us, everyone. Let's move on to the next question here. So the actual session title is 3 Storytelling Techniques to Boost Leadership and Emotional Intelligence. So we're going to dive right into that. It's 11:47. So that leaves us just enough time to talk about this and maybe tackle on some Q&As. If you guys have any, please do share them in the chat in the meantime. So Marina, I'm gonna just hand it over to you here. So just let us know like what would be the 3 main— I'm sure there's a lot of techniques, okay? But we're narrowing down to 3 because, you know, too much information is just too much. So can you share with us those 3 techniques, storytelling techniques that can help leaders boost emotional intelligence and improve their skills as well, and how these techniques can actually help create more connected and engaged teams. All yours, Marina.

Right. So yeah, as you said, there's a lot of techniques, but we don't have much time to talk today, maybe another session. So the first one I would say is the most easiest one, and this is where we need to start is sharing personal stories. So I call it Story Circle. You can do that once a month during a special meeting where every team member, including the leaders, shares a personal story to a specific team, like overcoming some challenges they had in their past experiences and how they learned from their failures, and also sharing good experiences is where they felt gratitude, they felt supported, some things they need to have also. This is a time when they need to share what feelings they need to have more. Sorry, my camera is moving.

Welcome to the live surprises.

Right. These sessions actually, they build trust and understanding within the team and so everyone feels valued and feels they are being listened to and that they make, you know, they, they make a unity at the end of the day. And this is how there will be more connections because they would feel that they are a part of something, a part of the company. And basically when the boss shares his own feelings and his own experiences, you don't see him as a boss anymore. You see him as a human being, right? And you relate more to that and you feel more connected. At the end of the day, we want to feel like a family, you know, when we go to a job and we have a boss that actually inspires us and motivates us. So this is a good way to— where to start, personal story. The second one will be the same kind of format, but it's one-on-one. So it's called reflective listening exercises. when we pair teams together and actually listen to each other, we listen to our colleague, and then we paraphrase and reflect on what has been said. And so we also bond with that colleague because we learn— we might learn some, you know, things about his life that we don't know about. And this actually happens a lot at a job. You know, you go only to work, but then you don't connect really with your colleague. And so It builds deeper connections and improves the emotional intelligence of the team as well. So reflecting back, giving feedback is key actually, because, you know, storytelling is not just a monologue, it's a dialogue. And for that, you need the other intervention.

Okay.

And the 3rd technique would be the vision storytelling. We use it also in, in film, visualizing the story, how it's going to be. Here you can visualize the outcome of a project, of a creative perspective you are building, and you can ask the team to be involved with your vision. There could be interaction. What is going to be? Where are we going? Why is it important? What values we are sharing? What's the results you want to achieve? And everybody, you know, gives his own feedback. And so it's like a brainstorm visualization storytelling. And this fosters also ownership because you feel that you are also a part of making the vision come to life with your leader.

Okay.

Okay.

So, if I were to summarize, Personal stories. So, personal stories is basically sharing something about yourself as a leader, as a person. Instead of somebody seeing their boss as their boss, opening up and saying something personal about your, you know, maybe what you're living right now or what happened today. Or what just happened last week or what happened this weekend with your kids or with your Better half, etc. These things foster trust building and open communication and establish a safe space where people feel like, wow, if my boss is sharing what she thinks about what happened to her this weekend, maybe also it's okay. I feel like safe to actually maybe share something I'm experiencing. Did I get this right so far? Yes, because people actually—

people don't remember numbers, you know, they remember vivid emotions and vivid images. So, yeah. So the ability to listen also to other stories helps to understand them better. So you understand better your leader, and when you understand him, you can follow him.

Him, her, or they, right?

Yeah, sorry.

Let's just make sure we, you know, we're, we're, we're We're neutral here. So, second one, you said reflective stories. And if I understood this one correctly, is when we're sharing a story but we're also encouraging feedback. So, it's not a one-way thing but it's a two-way thing where there's— it includes actual emotional triggers. We talk about, you know, we inject emotions into the storytelling. And we're able to kind of converse between the communicator and the listener. So it's like a 2-way conversation as opposed to a one-way storytelling. Am I clear on that one?

Yeah, correct. This is a good way to resolve any conflict actually between colleagues we don't know, we might not know about, you know. They start talking, they see, oh, okay, this happened and that happened. You know, they can exchange why they did what they did, you know, and this This is, uh, it helps them understand better each other. Instead of just focusing on the tasks, they can focus on the feelings that were generated by whatever happened between them or on the task they were working on.

Right. Okay. So you, you inject the feeling into it while you're communicating or explaining or trying to, to open up. Uh, you know, I didn't— I felt ashamed, or I, I felt overwhelmed, or I felt Uh, extremely happy and proud when you said this, or— right, so putting those emotional triggers. Okay. And the third one is the, um, visualizations, right?

Right. Is to paint that picture of, of the future of the project, where you're heading.

This is why the vision, the vision, the future, the future.

Okay, okay, okay. This is great. I'm gonna add something actually when we're talking about the high emotionally intelligent leaders and what differentiates them from other leaders. It's just when you are very in tune to your body and your emotions, and you can identify what you're feeling, in exchange, you can identify what your team is feeling, and you can just read, you know, on their faces.

Yeah.

When you tell them a story, you can see whether they're nodding, they're smiling, they're frowning, And then you can adapt and maybe dig deeper to why this is happening. Is he feeling uncomfortable about what I'm saying? And this is where the dialogue starts. You can find out more about your team and how to tackle issues or whatever, whatnot, you know. So this is really important. You just don't perceive the information, you experience it emotionally with the team and you understand the various emotional states more deeply, right? Okay.

Okay. Very, very interesting. So as you have noticed, I shared a 3rd poll question here. So which storytelling technique would you like to start using in your leadership? Personal stories, future-oriented stories, or reflective stories? Please do put it in the chat. And we're going to open this up to maybe one or 2 questions. So I'm going to just go over to the chat here and see if we have any questions from the audience. We got some of the questions on the second poll. We got Hernán that mentioned conflict resolution, Conor communication, Ophelia as well communications. And the last question, which storytelling technique would you like to start using in your leadership? We got Conor sharing personal stories. And I definitely like that one. I think we don't I feel like we separate our personal lives from our professional lives because it's always been the norm. Do not bring your personal issues to work.

Yeah.

And I think as we move into, you know, I think there's a whole era of mental health awareness. I think more and more people are encouraged to share and open up. And leaders and workplaces are also, and company cultures are encouraged to actually open the conversation and create that safe space where people can communicate as opposed to not. And it's not, and it basically has nothing to do with gender. It has nothing to do with age. It has nothing to do with culture. It's just It's human. It's kind of like the new norm. And I'm excited about that. I think there's great benefits from that. And if we can leverage storytelling while we're doing all that, then I think it's a big win. So, we don't have a lot of questions here. But if you do have any and you had to run because you have another meeting, it's already 11:59. So, if you do have any questions, please do put them in the chat. We'll come back. and answer them. I'm very, very happy. Thank you so much, Marina, for joining us today and sharing your expertise. This is a rare occurrence to have a film producer join in and tell us about how we could be better leaders. And I think there's so much to learn from different expertise in different industries. Right? When it comes to being just the best version of ourselves that we could be. I think there's no rules. And I think the more we open up the conversation, the better it gets. I don't know if you agree, but I'd like to think so. Marina, did you want to say anything just before we move on to a couple of announcements here? Would you like to say a couple of words?

Yeah, just a little conclusion. So don't feel anxious about whether you don't know how to tell a story. Just, I always say, just start simple, you know, go about telling somebody at work about your day, how you woke up, you had a coffee, and just this kind of small example, you know, it builds up and makes you a good storyteller. What's important is that you share your own experiences because they are unique. And so you have to feel to feel confident about it because they make you who you are. And so this encourages bonding with other people and also it fosters your emotional response.

That's wonderful. Thank you so much, Marina. Keep it simple. Just keep it simple. You got this kind of thing. I love it. Thank you. Thank you so much again, Marina Khoury, for joining us today. I like to practice. I mean, communicate my— I don't get to say the a lot, so here we go. I want— I did put here in the ticker right at the bottom of the screen, if you do want to have more, get more information about learning about storytelling and emotional intelligence, and you want more information about this conference, please do reach out and send me a message whichever platform you're using, and I will send you more information. And just wanted to also share that the next live And the next basically podcast will be about failure, the secrets to success on November 6th with John Antonucci. And I'm really looking forward to that one. There's going to be a lot of storytelling on that one. So we're going to be applying a lot of what Marina taught us today. Next week, there won't be any, but we'll be definitely with you sooner than later. And finally, I also wanted to share, you see here a QR code on the top corner. Um, we did our information about our AI webinar last month, and we do have a boot camp coming up, and we've moved the boot camp to January. Some of you probably got the information, but if you, if you haven't, uh, basically just click on that QR code, scan it, you'll have a bit more information. Uh, but we're probably going to be doing some webinars, um, next month in December to talk a bit about that see where we're going to take AI productivity and how we're going to merge it with leadership. All right. So, we're done for today. Again, thanks so much for joining. And we'll see you next time on November 6th. Please do RSVP and stay in touch.

Thank you.

Bye, Marina.

Bye-bye. Bye, everyone. Thank you.