Secrets to Effective Communication: Why 99% of Leaders Get It Wrong

Hello, hello everyone and welcome to our conference today, The Secrets to Effective Communication: Why 99% of Leaders Get It Wrong. Crazy, crazy title but it really depicts what we're going to be talking about today. My name is Claire Hayek and some of you that know me, welcome back. And some that don't know me, I'm the founder and CEO of MSP Team Building and I'm a team leadership expert. So, We're very, very happy that you're joining us today. And if you're listening to this as a replay, happy to have you as well. I want to just start by introducing our guest today, our guest speaker, Amélie Fournier. She's a speech-language pathologist and entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience that specializes in listening and communication.

That's right.

We brought you the expert. She's a member of the Order of Speech-Language Pathologists and Audiologists of Quebec. And she has actually participated in both public and private sectors, currently manages her own clinic. In 2022, she did join the OOAQ as an inspector and advisor, further honing her skills in professional practice standards and public protection. Hello, bonjour, bonjour, Amélie.

Hey, hi Claire, thanks for having me. I'm good, I'm good.

Good, good, good. It's August. I mean, it can't go bad, right? I mean, everybody's still on, I think, either left on vacation or are back from vacation. So, it's all good.

It's chill.

It's a good month. I like August. So again, very happy that you're joining us. So, what we're going to be looking at everyone, we're going to be looking at the common pitfalls that leaders face when it comes to communication and the strategies. And we're going to help you overcome them. Of course, we only have 30 minutes. We don't want to overpromise here, but we definitely want to overdeliver and upserve you all this value. Okay. So this is the point of today's conference. And of course, as you all know, we're going to have a short Q&A session right at the end. However, please put in your questions throughout the whole conference. And a reminder that this conference and all our conferences are very interactive. So the more interaction, the better. We want to hear from you. Please use the chat. Don't be shy. This is the way that we can communicate with you. And speaking of using the chat and communicate in communication, how apropos. Why don't you tell us where you're joining us today from today? We'd love to know. I'm here from Montreal, actually Lorraine specifically. Amélie, where are you located at the moment?

Also like Greater Montreal, but in Terrebonne, North Shore.

North Shore. Okay. All right. So put in the chat, let us know where you're joining us from. Let's see. And, you know, before actually that we dive right into all of this, I do want to let you know that we have Connor on this I guess, conference or call, if you may call it, uh, name it. Um, Connor is part of our team, MSP Team Building. He's our marketing and social media specialist, and he's just wonderfully talented. He's our superstar. So Connor, uh, thank you also for joining us. So all this to say that Connor will be managing the chat and he's going to be sharing some links. So if you have anything or you want to share anything, please do reach out to Connor if you have any questions. So Let's get started. So, okay, Amélie. As we all know, there's a lot of leaders that struggle with communications. Okay, it's due to various reasons. It doesn't— it's not like a little box with this is the common things that leaders, pitfalls that leaders do. Some of us are better than others. And some, it comes easily to some people and some people, it's just a bit tougher. And it depends also on the situation you're in. What's going on with your team, the motivation, the different personalities, etc. So, all of these factors affect that, right? So, the lack of listening, active listening, overexplaining, and failure to tailor the message to the audience is the common struggle that we've heard about when it comes to leaders missing the point on communication. So, can you please share, Amélie, some insights on why these issues are so important and prevalent among leaders and how these actual issues impact the team dynamics and the leadership when it comes to leadership skills?

Yeah, yeah. Well, First, it starts with self-awareness. So, a lot of leaders think they're good listeners. And they're not aware that maybe they're not as good as they think they are. So, it starts with knowing if you're good at it or not. So, it comes with feedback, with what people is telling you about your communication styles, and knowing how you are as a person, as a communicator. So that's one thing. It's like you cannot change what you don't acknowledge. So once you acknowledge it, then you can take action and try to get better at it. The second thing, it's not taught. So there's a big lack of training in how to listen effectively or how to talk to people so people will listen. And teaching, I think that teaching these skills early in life in early school, they could lead to a lot of benefits later in life. So these are the 2 first things. And also when we talk about listening, well, it's not easy to pay attention. We've read about it that our attention spans, they have like shortened by 5 seconds. And I don't know, I think in the last 5 years, we're used to quick bite-sized information.

Right.

We're surrounded by distractions. So it's easy to get Right, right.

I bet you anything. And I think also, if we talk real talk, I think the whole virtual remote work kind of sped everything up. So, we're communicating while on screen. It doesn't mean we can't communicate well and be present and actively listen even when we're on screen. But what we tend to do is we're being distracted. So, because we're in front of a screen, we're not in front of a person just looking at their face and talking to them. We're actually in front of a screen. There's a lot of things going on. We have a tab that is open, Chrome, Slack, Teams, chat, you know, chat kind of blown up, etc., etc., right? So, a lot of distractions even now, more now than before, Amélie, in my opinion, right?

Yeah, we're bombarded with distraction. It's a notification. It's an email coming in. Somebody wants to talk to us. So it's hard to keep being a good communicator with all these channels to manage also.

But which makes even a stronger point about how important we need to be, how important communication listening are now post-COVID with a remote kind of system. even more now than ever, right? Because otherwise, if we don't hang on to these skills and develop them, I mean, we're really going to be off track. So, this is obviously very interesting. I was really excited that you were going to join us and tell us a bit more about all this stuff. But let me just ask a quick question here, a poll. I'm going to pull up a little questions here. So, we want to hear from you. Very easy. Yes or no. Okay. Have you faced challenges with communication in your leadership role? Yes or no? Please put it in the chat. We want to hear and kind of like survey the crowd here and make sure that we understand what the challenges are. And if you really got it right on and fixed and you have the tools or you're still struggling with that. So please do share it in the chat. And I will try to pull up a couple of the comments. Actually here, let's take a minute. It's always fun to share the chat and see what people are writing. We got Charles joining from Virginia. Charles, welcome. Connor, of course, always a pleasure. We got Howard joining from London. This is— I love this. This is great. International LinkedIn Live. How lovely, right? Elizabeth joining from Toronto and Howard saying yes. So I'm assuming here, let me pull back the little question. So again, have you ever faced challenges with communication in your leadership role? We got one yes.

Yeah.

Maybe we have more yeses or nos. I don't know. But please keep them coming. We're very interested to know what you think and what you've experienced. So moving on, Amélie. Should I say Amélie or is it Amélie?

Oh, you can say it in French. I just want to quickly say Howard wrote a book about listening in the organization. So it's a really interesting piece on how to implement good listening practices within organization.

So that's our Howard in this conference.

Yes, yes, yes. Howard that said yes.

That's amazing. Howard, what an honor. It's Howard Grace, is it?

Yes.

Did I say it right? Yeah. Thanks, Howard. Here, let's pull you up here. Howard, I think the challenges come for so many reasons: lack of competence, skill, lack of time, lack of understanding, and so on. Absolutely. We're speaking the same language here. And again, thanks for being with us. Thanks, Elizabeth, as well for your answer here. Elizabeth does agree that, you know, it's a yes when it comes to the challenges. Wonderful. I love this conference so far. I'm loving the interaction. So let's keep going. Let me just, you know, let's move on to the next question, Amélie. So Let's look at some strategies for effective communication. So, you've developed several strategies that you actually apply to help leaders improve their skills, listening, whether it's listening or speaking. So, we'll call it communication skills, right? So, can you elaborate on the importance of active listening? Because we always talk how do we communicate as if it's something coming out of us. But rarely we talk about I mean, we don't focus enough, in my opinion, about active listening. And can you please provide us with some tips, some practical things that we can literally after this conference apply with our teams, with our spouses, with our friends, our surrounding, in our daily interactions? And actually, there's a little bit of some research studies here that actually say that active listening is crucial for effective communication and can significantly enhance Team performance. So, they have linked with study and research the active listening to performance when it comes to team settings. Okay, Amélie, please do share the importance of active listening and some maybe practical tips that you can share with us right now.

Yeah, so you've talked about effective communication. And like, we have to remember that effective communication is not about talking more but communicating better. So, Through effective communication, that's how leaders lead. And with these good communication skills, that's how you get people to listen better to you. So to improve communication skills, well, there's a few strategies to consider. Like you've mentioned, Claire, active listening is one of them. But there's also empathy. Adaptability is a really important one here. And have, like, producing clear and concise messages. But let's talk a little bit about the importance of, um, effective listening, or any— because you can put a bunch of adjectives in front of listening, at the end it's listening, right?

Right.

So as a leader, well, it's really important to be effective at communication and listening because it's how you set your vision, it's how you align the goal, it's Inspire trust, influence, motivate, empower others. So leadership, I would say, is first the art of listening and then the art of talking. Because if you're, as a leader, if you're good at listening, that's how you gather your information. And that's how you connect. You build rapport with people. That's how you build trust and mutual respect.

Yeah.

It shows open-mindedness and curiosity, definitely reduce misunderstandings, and it helps promote problem-solving abilities or make better decisions. So there's also benefits for the team. Previously you were asking like how it impacts— bad communication impacts the team performance.

Yeah.

Yeah. So now there's a positive impact of being a good listener. Because when a leader listens, it makes the team and the people feel more valued, satisfied, which reduces turnover, or it enhances teamwork engagement. Everybody feels more effective at their job or more confident because the ideas or feedback that they are sharing are valued.

Yeah. You know, Amélie, as you're explaining this, what I'm visualizing is a scenario where the leader is speaking his team, whether it's a one-on-one or the whole team. Doesn't matter details. But the leader is listening, is really just quiet and listening to what people are saying and observing and taking it all in as opposed to interrupting, making their point across, repeating themselves, right? And what that does, if a leader is listening to me with full attention, The way I would feel is valued. I would feel recognized. I would feel seen, right? And I think that's a big one for people. And this is what establishes that safe space. You're like, wow, what I'm saying matters. He's actually listening or she's actually listening to me. You know, it's very— it's so subtle and simple. Yet, many, many of us miss it, right?

Yet, Not as easy as it seems, because there's a lot of things that comes in play when you try to listen. And like I said, it's a— we're— there's a lot of distraction. We don't have a lot of time. Leaders don't have a lot of time.

Yes, that's true.

And it's hard also to stop, to quiet down the brain. So it's hard to stop your judgments as the other person is Speaking and you're trying, you're listening, all kinds of ideas or responses, they come, they come up and it's hard to say, no, stop. I'm ignoring new ideas and I'm just being present for the speaker.

Right. I think, I think, I mean, it's one of the things that I am actually finishing a certification in neuroscience coaching. And we talk a lot about communication and learning and the, the, the, you know, the capacity of the brain To monitor everything, right? And that's a big one when it comes to listening because if we're not able to quiet the mind, it's like the mind is controlling. You're just controlling everything, you know. And you're not really listening. You're not there. You're actually not present. So, we talk a lot about mindfulness, being mindful. And that's not something you just say, I'm just gonna be mindful and focused now because somebody's talking. You know, you could be really— you can have the good intentions and like focus on the person. You're still not listening. So, it's all about practicing that, I'm assuming, and making sure that it's something that you keep practicing. You can get better at it. It's not something I think it just— some people are born with it. But most of us have to work on it because like we all know, leaders are all about, let me put my point across. I don't have time for this. Wrap it up. Let's go, right? So, Very interesting. Okay, great. So that's a great tip. Thank you so much. What about like any other tips when it comes to, you know, the aspect of communication that could really help an interaction, our interactions basically?

While communicating, like good communication in our daily interaction, it's to keep our audience in mind. Who am I talking to? What is it that they know? What is my intent? So that makes the message relevant to your interlocutors. So you have to again ask yourself, how does this information affect my audience? How may it help them with work? And once that's that you've established that aspect of it, well, then you communicate your message. And when you communicate your message, you try to be clear and to be concise, because like I said, attention spans have diminished, and we, we want— we don't want something to be said in 10 words when it can be said in one. So to reduce the amount of words we're using, to go to the point Because when we do that, well, the content is easier to understand and retain. And also you don't get your audience bored.

That is so true. That is so true. Sometimes we can just get easily— I mean, we're talking about outside distractions, but there's the inside distractions. And then when you're not using the right words, you're just going on and on about things and you're going off tangents and you're confusing everyone, that really doesn't help. So, Thank you for mentioning clarity and conciseness. That's so important when it comes to communication as well. So, there's the listening and how you're communicating, which is the clarity and conciseness. And I just pulled up a question here, a poll question to our wonderful audience today. Which aspect of communication do you find most challenging? Active listening, clarity, or conciseness? We're just going to limit it to these 3. If I can speak for myself, I think my biggest challenge, I am very clear. Claire is very, very high on clarity. And this is not a joke. People actually make jokes about it. It's like, Claire, you cannot be more clear right now. So, that's not— that's an easy one for me. Thank God.

Conciseness, maybe.

I tend to sometimes feel like if somebody is not nodding or listening or, you know, completely— there's no reaction. So I just repeat myself, like I'll keep repeating myself. And, you know, so that's one of my challenges anyway.

And, and it's good that you mentioned it because I was having a conversation yesterday with a researcher on listening, and that's what she was also saying, that it's— there's this tendency to over-explain because we go with our assumption. So we assume that the, the audience or the person we're talking to doesn't know. So we feel that we have to go overboard and over-explain or repeat ourselves. While we should just— because we say, oh, it's the— if we— if I do that, they will understand it, the message will get across. But you're just filling it with more words and more information, which makes it Less easy to retain at the end. So if you want to know if the people, the audience understood, ask them. So be clear, be concise, and then ask.

Stop, stop, ask.

That's it.

Are you with me? Do you have any questions?

Anything that I can add details?

Right. That's a very good tip. Thank you so much. I'm going to be doing that our next meeting on Monday. And I will definitely get back to you, Amélie, and let you know how it went. And I will try to remember. And Connor here from my team, please do remind me if I repeat myself. Just bring me back to stop and ask the question. We're very— we have a very open communication with our team and we're all about communication and just improving, right? Thank you so much for that, Amélie. So, I'm gonna just pop in here and look at the chat and see what's happening.

Interesting.

Yeah, active listening, right? The challenge is active listening. Is listening cultivated? Okay, here we got many managers here. Let me just pull this up. Many managers think they know how to listen but very few have ever been trained. Very, very good point. I mean, we don't learn this in school. This is not something they teach you. And I don't care what degree you have. You know, you might maybe touch on it a little bit. But if you're not practicing it, that's another thing, right? If you're not actually applying these tools. And the listening culture, and from Elizabeth again, and the listening culture built by manager. Is it a listening culture built by manager? Is it driven by organizations? Very good questions. I know we have the Q&A and we need to wrap up here. But can you touch on that quickly, Amélie?

Well, the managers, they do build the listening culture. And there's a lot of research or documentation about it that, yes, leaders, they play an important part in it. And then it is driven also by the organization, but also by the leader, the top leader, which is the CEO.

Right.

If we have The C-suite that is listening or feel that they are listening, well, it trickles down.

I guess it kind of, it's not one or the other. It's the whole culture. So, if the culture, the organization's culture, I'm assuming encourages open communication, good communication, and imposes it in a way, you know, this is very important for us. It's one of the things that we're going to be evaluating you on. Then I think it should be driven by the organizations and applied and put in practice by the managers. I see it kind of like a marriage, right?

But then the organization has to put the mechanism in place in order to effectively listen. Yes, because it's a big organization. It's not as easy as it seems.

Yeah. Connor says active listening. Connor, yes, yes, I totally agree. It's not very easy sometimes. We can just Wander. Howard, conciseness. Much easier to write a long note or say a lot rather than keep it concise. You know, my point earlier. 100%, Howard. Howard, again, how many conferences have we sat through when the speakers think things— I think he says things— they need to tell you everything they know rather than what you need to know? Love that one.

Love that one. Because that's something that I wanted to mention is when you're communicating, you have to understand that it's not about you. It's about them.

Exactly.

It's not about showing all that you know. It's about giving them what they need. And when listening, it's again, it's not, you're not listening with the intent to respond. It's not about you. You have to listen with the intent to understand the speaker. So if you remember that when you communicate, it's not about you. I think it will put good, you would use good communication skills. They will come in practice.

Yeah. That's a really good one there, Amélie. It's a gold nugget. So, it's not about you. It's about them. It's not about us, the person communicating. It's about the person you're communicating to. Write that down, people. Write that down. I'm writing it down in my head right now and I'll be writing it down on a piece of paper and put a little Post-it on my screen, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. So, Elizabeth, how many CEOs are good listeners? I wonder. I mean, you know, I've had a lot of experience working with CEOs, C-suite. As many of you already know, I have 20+ experience working as an engineer. I'm an engineer actually. Basically worked a lot in mining and construction. And it was all about communication. And it was all about project management when it comes to my responsibility and directing teams. And I find that It really depends. I'd hate to put all CEOs in a little box and say they're not great. Then, 90% are not great listeners. And I wonder if there are any surveys on that. I would love to know if anybody can share a link here. But in my experience, I can only speak of my experience. I find that it really depends. There are some CEOs. I mean, the whole, I am very busy. I don't have time. It's very cliché. Actually, I think there are some CEOs, C-suite that worked hard on that. And you'll be surprised of their amazing presence in a room. When they walk in, everybody turns around not because they look good and have a good suit or they're wearing a nice dress. Okay? Because they have that calmness to them and they're actually great listeners. And they will only say one word or two to add something. They have nothing to say. They will refrain. And that makes everybody uncomfortable because they kind of not want to know like what's going on. But the great thinkers and the great CEOs I've met, they actually were very great with communications. I think it's a skill that we need to work on as leaders. But again, I wouldn't put CEOs in a box and say, oh, they're all busy and they never listen and they have their ideas and they want to drive it through. I think there's a lot of truth to that. But I am a hopeful optimist. And I surely hope, Amélie, I don't know from your experience, how you feel about that. And, you know, if you agree with what I just said.

Yeah, it's an interesting question because I actually did my final paper on the listening skills of CEOs. And— Wow, I didn't know that.

That's amazing.

Yeah. So I interviewed 13 ex-CEOs or current CEOs. They all think they are good listeners. That's the thing. That's about— they think that the way they were talking, they think that they're good they're good at listening. But the stats, they show otherwise. I think it's from the Workplace Institute that they did a study. And while CEOs thought that they were good listeners, 84% or 83% of their employees thought differently, which is a— it's big, the gap. So there's a big gap there.

Interesting.

And that's that gap that we have to bridge. To bring awareness and to start or to give maybe to give feedback. But I mean, there is— That's a great relationship.

Yeah, I would love to learn more about your paper. And I'm not surprised. I think their heart is in the right place. And I think leaders lack the training to recognize what the definition is of good communication and good listening skills. But I think it's only— it can only go uphill from here. And this is why we're taking the time to talk about this because we really want to add value. We want to make sure that we're giving you the tools and helping you pull this off. Because I think this is where growth happens and starts is when you realize what you need to work on, right? We are running out of time. It's crazy. I think we can do this for 2 hours, Amélie. I'm just gonna throw a question out here. Another question. What do you think is the most critical factor in effective communication? Trust, empathy, or clarity? I think all 3 personally. But if we were to choose one, which one would you choose? Again, I'm very curious to see what people share in the chat. And while people are sharing in the chat, I wanted to wrap up quickly. It's already time. It's crazy how time flies by when you are enjoying each other's presence and you're talking about interesting things. I just want to mention quickly here, we just had our webinar last week. Actually, Emily was one of our guest speakers during our webinar talking about effective communication and listening. A lot of you reached out and apologized. You were on vacation. You even had the replay. But you really requested that we do this webinar again because August wasn't the ideal time. And, you know, you ask, we, you know, we just deliver. So the next webinar is scheduled for September 15th— sorry, 12th, Thursday at 3 PM EST, noon PST. We'll have tons of time to tell you about it, but it's going to be an hour and a half. Please do scan the QR code and register, block that date. You'll be back from vacation and ready to just put on your thinking hats and learning hats. So please do join in. And I also want to mention that August is the theme of communication when it comes to our LinkedIn Lives and actual lives period, because this streams live also, by the way, on YouTube, Facebook, and other social media channels. So the next event will be August 21st. It's also posted in LinkedIn. There'll be we post it on all platforms. And it's Why Humor Is Your Secret Leadership Weapon. So, this one is August 21st, 11:30 AM for the live. And finally, I just wanted to basically just go back to the chat here and see if we have any last-minute questions or comments and have Amélie as well comment on what you guys shared. Let's see here. Elizabeth, I have interviewed 40+ executives, business professors, MBA grads, and students, and listening is always a top 5 skill for them. But I can't find a single MBA program in Canada that teaches it.

That's one thing. And there's— I don't remember again my source, but there was one study made on it and they looked at the courses. of MBA programs, and I think in only 11% of them, listening was part of the description. And then we say it's the top skill that we need, yet nobody's teaching it. So let's, let's, uh, let's work on these MBA programs. And even before MBA programs, I believe it's a life skill. It's something you need in your— for everything. Absolutely.

Absolutely. And when we asked, what do you think is the most critical factor in effective communication. Going back to the chat here, Elizabeth said trust. Howard said trust. Very interesting.

And safety.

Connor, Connor, what'd you say? Gosh, trust to express things easily and without holding back and clarity to understand exactly what's happening. Love that. Thanks, Connor, for sharing. That definitely helps me as well, you being part of our team. So thank you all so much for sharing your comments and, uh, and, you know, being so great at interacting here. It's always a pleasure to, to have a conversation. This is not a one-way conversation. This is how we do things here at MSP Teambuilding. It's all about, you know, we kind of walking the talk. We, we don't— it's not a one-way. We love learning and implementing and hands-on training where people just bring their insights and their experience because the more we learn from each other, the better and the more effective. There's actually a whole chapter on that in my little neuroscience coaching program I'm following right now. So if you're interested in learning a bit more about this conference and the training when it comes to communication, effective communication, please type the word communication in the chat and please do reach out. You can tag me and I will share this information with you. And I also want to remind you that basically when you do join the webinar, I put up the QR code there again. We will be going over communication and we're also planning a bootcamp on team leadership in October where we dive deeper into all of this and we'll be able to really share skills hands-on and practice. during the training program. So again, thank you, Amélie, so much for joining us. Thank you for our audience. Thank you, Howard. Thank you, Elizabeth Connor, for joining us. We went over 5 minutes, but it was worth it. I hope. For me, it was. And wonderful to have you. August 21st. There's nothing next week, but there's one August 21st about humor and speech and leadership. So please do join us again and have a wonderful rest of your day. All right, bye now. Thanks, Amélie.

Thanks, bye.