What Real Leaders Do When Things Go Wrong (and Why It Changes Everything) with Diego Camacho

Think about the last time something went wrong at work. It might have been a missed target, a client issue, or just a tense conversation. In moments like that, most leaders instinctively look for who is responsible. Maybe we're pointing fingers here. Today's episode is about a leader who did the opposite and how that single decision reshaped the way people around him Showed up under pressure. Welcome to the NeuroLeadership Edge. I'm Claire Hayek. I'm a neuroleadership expert, TEDx speaker, founder of Mind Soul Purpose Team Building. And my work focuses on one thing. Pressure breaks leadership and team performance. And I designed the systems that prevent it. This show is about what actually happens in your brain when the stakes are high and how to stay clear, grounded, and effective when it matters most. In this episode, we're talking about leadership when things go wrong. You're going to hear what happens to teams when leaders lead through blame versus protection, why psychological safety changes performance under pressure, And how staying human actually strengthens authority instead of weakening it. My guest today is Diego Camacho. Diego is head of his division in the digital advertising industry with over 11 years of experience across multinational companies in consumer goods, pharma, and tech, working across Mexico and Latin America. What stood out to me about Diego isn't just his role or his results. It's how intentional he is about leading people, especially under pressure. Diego, how are you?

Hey, Clare. I'm doing great. Thanks for having me.

Yes. Well, we're really happy to, to have you on the show. It's been a long time waiting, but here we are. So that's cool. All right, Diego, let's dive right in. Can you walk us through that experience with the client? That meeting that went wrong and what happened when you went back to the office?

Yeah. So I want to talk about this experience in particular because it changed the way that I thought of leadership, right? So I had, at this point in my career, I was managing an account. It was rather early on and I was a bit direct with the client. I used to be pretty straightforward, not managing. What I said or when I said it or to whom I was saying it. And in this case, I came out quite rude, I think. I didn't measure what I was thinking and how to explain it. So everything came out like if I was talking to, not to a client, basically. After this, the client obviously didn't like my attitude and they said that this was going to be a big problem and that they'd rather not work with me anymore.

Hmm.

So obviously after all, after the confrontation and everything, and I'm going back to the office. Expecting my boss to tell me something, to let me know how I messed up or all the things that went wrong because of how I acted. And instead, he was the first person that said, hey, you know what? The client called me. I stood up for you. I don't know what happened. I don't care, but I know you. So I took the hit for this one because my job is precisely that. My job is to be The one that fights for you, to be the one to take the hits, the bad guy when we need a bad guy in the situation. And you have the you're the one that needs to be there for the client. So never be afraid to ask for my support instead of trying to take everything on your own. And it was the first time that I had a boss that did that did this. Like in the past, it was a complete opposite types of bosses who just told you what to do and to be focused and to be every step of the way like challenging and be aggressive and everything. And this was the first time where I. I saw someone that I respected and had a successful career, but was taking a different approach to leadership than the ones that I was used to. So this truly had an impact on how I saw things from that moment on regarding leadership.

Right. I bet. I mean, it's not really the reaction you might've expected because obviously you're somebody that's very responsible. You probably, and you said it right at the beginning, you felt that You know, maybe I was a bit out of line or maybe I said something I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have put the filter a bit more, maybe dosed it down a little bit. But what's really powerful about this is this moment basically is what didn't happen. So, your boss at the time didn't look for someone to blame. He didn't throw you under the bus. He actually absorbed the pressure. And from a brain perspective, that really is important more than people realize. This is not about not having your team members take responsibility for their actions. It's not about that and always taking the blame. That's not what we're saying. But what's important from a brain perspective is when a leader steps in like that and has your back, what it tells your brain, basically the employee brain, is that I'm safe. And safety is what allows the brain to stay online under pressure, under stress. So, he really helped ground you even though you're probably stressed out and everything. He was able to just calm you down instantly by absorbing a bit of that pressure and saying, listen, you're safe here. You made a mistake maybe. I got you. And this is really important. I really am glad we're having this talk because I think people don't realize this. But let's keep going. I want to unpack this a bit more. So, when your boss said, my job is to fight for you, how did that change the way you showed up after that moment as a leader, as an employee, as an ambitious person? How did that shape you?

That's a really good question. It made me think of this, something similar to what happens in friend groups or in families. Families, it made me it made me see things where where you need to where you need to think more of what can you do for the group or what can you do to improve the others the other people's let's say lives or the other people's confidence or the other person's trust in in them and which which I think brings out the best version of people because as you said before. Once you stop being worried about the difficulties, once you stop being worried about being challenged or being scolded or whatever, you truly believe that what you say, what you do has the back— has back— has enough—

Support. Yeah, that's the word. Yeah.

To, let's call it, to try different things, to try and being yourself, to try and do things differently to get a different result than what's traditionally expected. So by doing this, I shifted completely the way that I think of towards that type of leadership that this boss of mine had to fight for my team, to fight for the people that are there, because in the end, if I make sure that they're, they have the resources, they have the capabilities to deliver, then they can do their job well. And by them doing their job well, then I also do my job well. So I think that instead of approaching this on a high stakes, high pressure, high motivation, like this traditional tech culture that has been predominant for the past years, I think that by doing this, you also get exceptional results, but without the burnout that sometimes the other types of leadership bring. Because in the end, yeah, you can always ask for 100% from someone until you can't, until there's not enough or there's nothing left for them to give. So in this case, I think that it has allowed me to be there for them, which in turn makes them be able to deliver and feel safe.

So this is exactly what we're talking about. So the brain is— this is the— this is what's going on. The brain is always asking me one question: am I safe? Or is there a threat? Do I run for my life? Or I'm okay, I can relax, right? So, when you start blaming people, it pushes them into protection mode. Like they have to protect themselves. They have to stay safe, right? And but when you support them, it pulls them back into focus. It gets them to relax. And this is where performance is when pressure is not taken away from your focus, right? They're calm, they're focused, and they're doing what they're supposed to do, which they're great at, right? So—

Yeah.

This is why teams don't perform better under fear, under toxic environments, under threat. It's just normal. And I think a lot of leaders unfortunately, I'm not saying everybody's like that. But when we are under pressure as a leader, so we are now in fight or flight. We're trying to stay alive. And then, we project that as well onto our team because you're not able to regulate our own pressure. We're not able to Bring it back to our prefrontal cortex where we are managing with calm. We are bringing it back to clear decisions, focus, alignment. We cannot regulate our own thing. So, how do you want us to support others when we are not solid? This is why pressure-proof performance is something that is practiced and is learned and is trained. It doesn't automatically— nobody teaches us at school When you're in fight or flight and you're freaking out, how to bring it back to your prefrontal cortex. Nobody teaches you that. They do teach us breathe, which is great and it helps. But there's way more than that, especially for leaders. So anyway, it's great to see that this experience was kind of a gift for you because it really puts you back onto that focus on, oh, so that's how it works. This is how he made me feel. So, I'm going to change the way I—

Yeah.

react towards my people. Which brings me to my next question. You did mention to me once something really important about remembering that everybody is different. So, how did that— when you realize that, how did it change the way you lead your team daily? When you're like looking at your people going, they're all different. They can't all be in one box. How did that change your leadership and how you dealt with the day-to-day with your team?

I think that was another thing that had a big impact on how I did things, not only when I became a leader, but even from before, when I started being like a person of trust of my boss in another company, I started to notice that, yes, I know how to do things. I know how to deliver. I know how to perform.

Right.

The way that I do. But at the same time, there are other ways of doing the same thing and delivering. So this started to become like, it sounds so obvious, but it started to become noticeable. I started to notice this when another person that I was working with started to also deliver results, also was a high performer and everything. And I noticed that the types of work that we did, the way that we approached the different tasks that we had to do was quite different. So I started thinking, okay, I know my way works, but it's not the only way of things working. And then as I continued to develop, I liked to take different courses about leadership, about both psychological topics, me being a person with ADHD and everything. So you start to get a lot of different tools, a lot of different, let's say, information that helps you evolve both personally and that you can then start to reflect on. Maybe this is something that somebody else is also going through, or they are going through their own battles. So this mix of, okay, there are different ways of doing things that are not my way of doing things, but still deliver.

Right.

And people are going through different things or have gone through different experiences in their life, which shaped them differently than what and who I am. It's rather, I'm not finding the word for it.

Empowering?

No, the other way. It would be presumptuous of me to think that everybody can do it.

Oh, when you're not. Okay. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. So I started to notice this and it's like, okay, me as a leader, now I have a say on how people will be working and I can be the person that I would have liked to have in the past. Remembering that people are different. They approach things differently. They have different backgrounds, different experiences, different triggers, different expertise. They are obviously individuals. So if I try to manage everyone the same way, I may be a good leader for some, but a terrible leader for others. The type of leader that I had in the past, I had both good leaders and bad leaders. And the difference I think between them was how they approached my way of doing things, my way of being an employee, my way of performing.

Right.

So once I worked with someone that started to notice the opportunities that I have, but also the strengths that I have, I was able to take the next step. I was able to truly become a better performer. So that is the type of thing that I want to do. Obviously, there are certain profiles or there are different types of people that I get along better, but at the same time, that shouldn't be the reason why I try to be a good leader for them. Like, okay, maybe we won't be friends, but I'm for sure going to do the best thing, the best that I can to give you the resources and to be the type of boss that you need, be it a more involved or a less involved, being the someone that's more emotionally engaged or let them process their own things. But at the same time, I'm going to make sure that I give them the resources and that I give them the opportunities to continue developing themselves.

Yeah. So, I mean, this is one of the biggest blind spots in leadership that we see, unfortunately, that we see a lot. That's it. Same role. It doesn't mean the same brain. Same title doesn't mean it's the same triggers, same patterns, same way of doing things. And when leaders like you, like what you mentioned, when leaders adapt to the person instead of forcing the person to adapt to the system, The engagement changes completely. And it's a huge blind spot, especially with leaders that have very— they score very high on self-sabotage when it comes to control. They are not able to flex enough in order to see another way of doing things because their brain is resisting. It doesn't want— that means it's out of control. If I let them do it their way, then this might not go well. And then, you know, then it goes into that fight or flight.

Yeah.

Survival mode. So, it puts pressure on them. So, but when you see that blind spot and what that is doing and allowing people just to breathe around you, and actually is extremely good for the leader. Now, you are tapping into their full potential, getting them engaged, and you get to relax. You get to learn a little thing or two. And you get to grow. And you said it, you have to work on yourself.

Yeah.

To be able to anticipate that. And anyway, but you know what? A lot of leaders think they're actually alone in wanting to do things differently. And I'm actually curious to know, what would you say to someone maybe listening right now who feels the pressure to try too hard? You know, that's trying too hard, that feels that pressure to be tough, to be distant, or just results-driven, purely 100% results-driven. In order to gain that respect or be taken seriously. What would you say to someone like that feels that pressure or putting the pressure on themselves, really?

It's a tough place and it's tough to say the first time that you do it, but you have to take a chance in the end. If you think that the only way of earning respect is by continuously doing what you think is the way of doing things and always trying to make people bend to your will and always Asking for more, demanding more, trying to be even more, only thinking results, results, results. It's not sustainable. It's if you see it from both professional, a professional viewpoint and from a personal viewpoint, it's unsustainable in the end professionally. What happens when you just can't? Because there comes a time there, like there are certain situations that no matter how strong your will is. They just won't happen. And if the only thing that you have going for yourself is that you have your determination and your will, and you are going to plow through everything. When something like that happens, when something that no matter how much you do, it won't change. It's life-altering. It's, it's so complex because it's not only limiting what you are asking for. It's also limiting the perception that you have of yourself. So I think that, and this is where it shifts, it shifts to the personal part, because I understand that being vulnerable, this is being vulnerable.

Yeah.

Accepting that you don't have all the answers, accepting that you have to bend, that you have to shape yourself in certain situations to a way that you're not used to. It is scary. But once you do that, once you start trying to be more flexible, once you start trying to understand the others and maybe changing a little bit, you get amazing results. And you notice that certain situations where you were the one that was handling all the pressure, that was trying to get everyone on board on the topic, and that things were just not getting there, sometimes you see that the only thing that was happening is that you were the one that was blocking.

Yes, absolutely. I couldn't agree more with what you're saying, Diego. And thanks for really sharing because what I see again and again is that being human, it doesn't take away from your authority as a leader. And I always talk about calm authority. You don't have to be pushy, tough, hard to get respect or to claim that authority, right? And it's not about When I say authority is being grounded, that's what I mean. That's what I talk about, calm authority. That respect, it's something that you just— it usually, you can feel it around somebody. It's not what I say to you that's gonna let you respect me more. It's how I act, how I walk, how I speak, how I respect, how I listen to you. You know how I support you. That's what gains respect. This is what stabilizes the room. That's what stabilizes the team. And when the leader— this is why I always say, when you regulate yourself, you're going to regulate the team. It automatically will regulate the team without you trying anything. It's just because you're in control of who you are. You're being the best version of who you are. And that literally inspires everybody to follow. So, when the leader kind of diffuses the pressure instead of passing it down, which is push, push, push, teams just don't feel better. They think better. They're just so empowered. And that is a huge tool that unfortunately, a lot of leaders think that I need to push them, that I'm just pushing them, encouraging them. No, just calm down and then leave the room. for people, whether they make a mistake or excel, just give them time to breathe and give yourself, right, room to breathe. Anyway, very interesting conversation.

Sorry, before, before— go ahead. Just this one part of this one, this one last thing that you said about letting them do things, even if it's a mistake.

Failure. Yes. Learn from failure.

People are so scared of failure, failure. And I think that is because We've created a stigma around failing that we think of failure as something definitive, which it's not. Failure is an opportunity to learn. Failure is an opportunity to understand what went wrong and how can you prevent future failures. So, once you also let your teams fail, once you also let them do the wrong thing, let them try the wrong way, even if you know the answer.

Yes, it's hard.

It helps them develop their own Knowledge, because that's the other thing. I don't want to be there telling them what to do all the time. There's not enough time in my day to be there telling everyone what to do. I want them to learn. I want them to be someone that can solve things for themselves and then come and ask maybe for support or whatever. But once they learn that they can fail without being afraid of losing their job, of being reprimanded, of being screamed at or whatever, They understand that, okay, I'm gonna try this and I may fail. But if I fail, it's not the end of the world. And if I succeed, it's because I was able to take this risk.

Yes. And if I fail, it's not the end of the world. And I'm gonna learn a thing or two. That's where it changes. Like, okay, I failed. But I learned this. Have I not failed, I wouldn't have learned that. And I feel much better now because I learned. I'm better. I have better skills now. So again, I mean, this is such a conversation that keeps coming back on this podcast, the fear of failure. Don't be afraid to fail. So you ready for the rapid-fire questions? I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions, very short answers, and we're gonna run through them. Ready?

I hope I am.

Oh, you are. You are. All right. So if you can share with us a book, an idea, a conference, a podcast that really reshaped how you think about leadership, what would it be?

Okay. In this case, I think there are 2 different books that I like, and they're not necessarily related to leadership, but it shifted the way that I think of things. So one of them, I actually do have them here. I like to read. I like to see topics, different topics. So one of them is Scattered Minds by Gabor Maté. He's a psychologist. And one of the things that I like about him is he has ADHD and he started approaching it and understanding it from a different way of how it was seen in the past as an issue to be tackled, as a problem to be solved. But he started seeing things more of how can I do different things in my life to improve my, the opportunities I have to succeed? To prevent issues that affect me before they happen, even knowing all the challenges that, that we have. So I like a lot the way that he focuses on this and how he presents it, having this issue himself. And this is one of the things that made me truly think of, okay, I need to go one step further. And the other one, it's called What Got You Here Won't Get You There. I like this book a lot, and this one shifted the way that I saw myself as a leader because I used to think that to be a successful leader also, you had to be the best at what you're doing. Like, you have to continue doing what you did before. You had to continue doing all the, like, all the tasks, all the analysis, telling everyone what to do and showing them and whatever. So this book helped me Take a step back and be confident on the approach that I was taking on the more human, let's call it more human approach. And I did to be successful. And the things that helped me achieve this position of leadership were now not meaningless, but they were in the past. I wasn't going to be the best boss because I was the best salesperson or the best account person.

Okay.

If I'm going to be the best boss, I need to have the tools to be the best boss or the best leader. I have to have The knowledge, the resources, the skills to be there and to be better at this new stage in my life.

Yeah. And you need to have the right foundations. And I think you mentioned that earlier in the podcast that you really took time to work on yourself. And working on ourselves as leaders is part of the job. And by the way, it doesn't stop.

Okay.

Spoiler alert. If you're not working on yourself, daily, you are not mastering your craft. You're not mastering yourself. And the master of the self, that's what makes us a leader. And again, I always mention this. Leadership doesn't mean that you are in a power position. You could be a leader with a very regular job, regular responsibility. Leadership is innate. It's not defined by the title because I meet sometimes people with the big titles and I feel they don't even fit the definition of a leader. My 2 cents. But I like to normalize leadership. And a lot of people are sometimes uncomfortable saying, I'm not a leader, really. I'm not a VP. I'm not a CEO. I'm like, nope, has nothing to do with the title. It's how you're being and how you show up in your day-to-day, even with your family, with your kids, with your parents, with your partner. But anyway, let's— we took a bit too long on that first question. So, let's run through that quickly through the next 2 ones.

Yeah.

But that was a good one. And thanks for sharing those books. I appreciate it. Okay. What helps you reset when pressure is high? What keeps you grounded when you're really high pressure? What do you do? What's the quick go-to thing to do?

The quick go-to thing. I think that either, either my family, it's like a cliché answer, but one of those is my family because in the end with my family, I'm just me. Yeah, I'm not the boss. I'm not the leader. I'm not the employee. I'm just me. So it helps me like take a step back. And the other thing would be either reading. It helps me stop talking, stop thinking, stop being everywhere else and just be in the letters, in the words, in the pages. Or I like to play drones.

So. There you go. There you go. You have to do, you have to find the thing that calms you down, right? And recenters you.

It recenters you because you have to be doing that. You can't be thinking of next quarter. You can't be thinking of the results. You can't be thinking on the strategy. No, you're thinking of not crashing.

So you're in the present, you're in the present moment.

Yeah.

Yeah. And Diego, actually, this is proven in research is that when you're feeling high pressure, what really grounds you very quickly and brings you back to your prefrontal cortex is just anchoring in the present moment. Whatever you do, whatever you're doing, whether you just get up and, or do squats, it's like, I'm doing squats right now. That's just present moment. Snap it back. Focus right now. So if you're flying a drone, exactly, it's basically what you're doing is focusing. Or you're reading a book, you're slowing down your brainwaves. You're being just completely slowing it down to a flow because you need to be focused to be reading and really absorbing. So from a neuroscience point of view, 100% makes sense. And I love your answers. Thanks so much for sharing this. We're already at the end of the episode. And I just want to say something. What stayed with me from this conversation is just how powerful it is when leaders choose responsibility over blame. And what really also learning how to grow and how to read the room and be inspirational just by being more— invest more in yourself and your own growth. This is what pressure-proof leadership. And that's what I'm always talking about. Diego, thank you so much for agreeing to come on the show and for sharing this experience. Any last quick words you want to part with?

No. Also, thank you very much for having me, Claire. It took some time, but we were able to finally make it. We did.

It was really great having you. Everybody listening, as I always mention, if you enjoyed the show, if you find that this show added a lot of value to you, please click the subscribe and follow button. Share this episode with somebody that needs to hear it because sometimes, you know, maybe it doesn't speak to us directly, but you can think of somebody who's like, oh my God, this is going to help. So do please share it. And you can scan the code here. I always have resources that I share. Do reach out if you have any questions. And as always, lead boldly, stay human, and turn every challenge or every failure into a gift. See you all next time and have a wonderful rest of the day. Bye.