Your Brain Is Listening: How Your Words Program Your Reality

Hello everyone! Welcome to the NeuroLeadership Edge podcast, where brain science meets bold leadership, turning every challenge into a powerful edge. I'm your host, Claire Hayek. I'm a neuroleadership expert and the founder of Mind Soul Purpose Team Building. Welcome to our episode today. It's a solo episode and I'm gonna be shedding a light on something most people overlook. Your brain is listening and your words are programming your reality. I don't know if any of you are aware of this or if you've thought of that at all or you read a book on it. If you're interested at all in brain science, neuroscience, this is real. This is real and very overlooked. This is not mindset talk. We're not talking about mindset. This is literally measurable neuroscience and it's literally quietly shaping how you lead, how you show up, how you perform and make decisions every single day. Okay? So I really need you to hear this. Your thoughts and your words aren't just self-talk. You know, there's always this self-talk, right? But what you really think and believe, what's happening in your head, what you say out loud as well, It's literally instructions to your brain, and while your brain—it's obeying them, it's on. It's literally obeying them on autopilot. So this is neuroplasticity. It's it's explained by it's neuroscience. This is you know look it up, right? So it's exactly your RAS. Okay, that's your reticular activating system. So it's your brain's built-in reality filter and it's literally the rewiring. Okay, so you are not reacting to reality. You're— listen to this. I mean, you really need to listen to this and write it down because it could be a bit offsetting. So you're not really reacting to reality, you're reacting to the version of reality your brain has been trained to notice by you. Okay, let me repeat this. You're reacting to the version of reality your brain has been trained to notice by you. So you've trained your brain to notice a reality that you've created, a version of reality that you have created through your thoughts and through your words. So let me explain this further, so bear with me. Here's how it works, okay? So the RAS, the reticular activating system, is a filter for all the sensory information literally bombarding our brain. So Your brain is at all times bombarded by what you see, the sounds around you, the smells, your feelings, how you feel, your thoughts, etc. So it's deciding every second what's relevant, what can we ignore, and this is how it filters this information. So Your brain cannot consciously process all this data coming in literally every second. We're talking about being bombarded with approximately 11 million bits of information per second. 11 million bits of information per second. But our conscious brain can only process about 40— that's not much— 40 to 50 bits per second. So there's a lot of things being filtered out. Okay, so, um, so your brain is filtering all this data coming in every second, and the, the, the RAS filters, um, the filter of the RAS basically bases it on what it thinks matters most. Okay, and how does it decide what really matters most to you? Well, the RAS is programmed to know and recognize what matters most to you. That's programmed by your thoughts, your beliefs, and your repeated words, and your focus. Where are you putting your attention? Okay? So that's really how it works. I mean, it's not that complicated when you think about it. And I'll give you some examples. So the RAS, the reticular activating system, it acts as this filter, this editor, if you want to look at it that way, and it decides which tiny fraction of all that sensory input and information that we're getting every second is actually relevant enough to bring into your conscious awareness. Okay. So Let me give you an example. If you keep thinking, I'm not good enough, your RAS starts filtering the world to validate that belief. That is so huge. Think about that. If you keep repeating, I'm not good enough, your RAS will start filtering the world around you to validate that belief. Because that's what you're asking it to do. If you start, for instance, affirming, I'm limitless, I got this, I'm successful, I'm powerful, etc., well, guess what? Your RAS will start filtering that information from your reality. So it's going to start highlighting and bringing your attention more to examples, people, and opportunities that match that signal that I'm powerful, I got this, I'm constantly surrounded by opportunities, I am limitless. I mean, you know, the sky is the limit when it comes to positive affirmation. This is why a lot of people, successful entrepreneurs, successful leaders, successful people, period, artists, etc., They manifested their reality. They say it's manifestation. Well, in brain science language, they're literally reprogramming their brains with their words and what they're putting out there. So they are reorganizing and cleaning that filter, making sure that filter is working to their advantage. See that, how it works? I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. Would love for you to put it in the comment. Have you noticed like when you decide like, you know, I want to look for a red car, I want to, you know, I'm looking for a red car now, all of a sudden you see red cars everywhere? I don't know if this happened to you before. It happens to me all the time. It happens to all of us. We just probably haven't noticed or been like, oh my God, oh my God, I see all these red cars, all of those, or specific model of a car. Or if you're focusing, let's say you're renovating You're renovating your house and now you're looking at tiles or something like that. And you're looking for a specific type of tiles. All of a sudden, you know, you're seeing this everywhere. You see it in magazines or some people start talking about it. It's because your brain is really focusing on that. It's filtering the information. This is really what I'm interested in. That's what the information is going to filter. It's 11 million bits per second. There's a lot of information around us. I mean, now we are focusing on what we really want, what we really are thinking, right? So this is how it works. So because when you're focusing on a specific thing, you're basically telling your RAS, this is relevant to me, bring me that information. Okay, why are we talking about this and why does this matter? And why does it matter specifically for founders, leaders, solopreneurs? Why is it so important? Because your RAS literally influences what problems you notice, what patterns your brain is picking up, what you believe is possible and what's not possible, and how you subconsciously respond to stress and people. So if you're constantly speaking in fear, you know, I'm afraid this won't work, I'm afraid this, I'm afraid that, well, your RAS goes looking for more of that. It's that simple. If you start speaking in possibility and ownership, owning what's happening and clarity, being focused, well, your brain is going to follow that cue and it's going to feed you that. Say you keep saying, there's not enough time. My team doesn't get it. We're behind again. Well, that's a signal your RAS will lock into. And now it starts highlighting every missed deadline, every flaw in your team members maybe, or every stress factor that you have in your life, reinforcing the very thing You're trying to solve. How ironic, right? So if you start saying, I'm going to prioritize what matters, we're learning to work smarter, we're learning to work better together, then your brain starts letting in the evidence of that instead. Okay? So every time you think, I'm overwhelmed, I'm not ready, you're literally strengthening that neural pathway. Your brain becomes better and faster at proving that belief true. That's like, hey, yes, you are overwhelmed. Yes, you're not ready. No, you shouldn't do this. You're literally reinforcing those patterns. I mean, it's Hebb's Law. Neurons that fire together wire together. So, the more you're firing this signal, the more that we're wiring this pattern. And guess what happens? This is what's going to happen. This is why being self-aware and being Being conscious of what we're saying out there, what our thoughts and the energy that we're putting, the attention, where we're putting our attention and our focus is so crucial when you want to change your patterns or you want to transform your life or be this better version of yourself. Well, you need to— this is where you need to start. You need to rewire your, basically, your brain. By firing and wiring new neurons, new patterns, new thoughts to where you want to, where you want to, what you want to transform to or who you want to be moving forward. So simple. I mean, you know, it sounds like, what are you talking about? Really? Please do look it up. This is not, I'm not coming up with this. A lot of, you know, people that understand neuroscience and studied neuroscience. I'm not a neuroscientist. I mean, I'm a neuroscience certified coach But this is information that is out there. And I'm pretty sure that some of you listening here today can give me tons of examples of this. Or maybe if you pay attention to it moving forward, that you're going to find a lot of these examples in your day-to-day. So, I mean, I can give you an example that I practice. It's very silly. But you know when you go to Costco I don't know about you but I get really cold very fast and you walk into the dairy department, you know, that little room and it's freezing and I hate cold. I have no tolerance for it or you could walk into the vegetable little room or and you're literally walking into, it feels like you're walking into a freezer. Well, I consciously tell myself, It's hot in here. It's hot in here. I mean, I don't say it out loud, but I'm firing those thoughts in my brain. It's so hot in here. Oh my God! This is so refreshing. Oh, this is a breath of fresh air. And I just keep repeating and repeating and repeating it. And guess what? I do not feel the cold for like thirty seconds. That one minute I'm there, I do. I do. You know, admit that I go in and I want to get out fast. But It becomes more pleasant. I'm not in pain and freezing for that 30 seconds and 1 minute. And I'm actually enjoying looking at the different options and evaluating what I want to buy. Another one, for instance, if I'm doing a specific workout and I'm, you know, my cardio is shot and I don't have that oomph in me, that energy in me to keep going. For instance, you're, let's say you're biking and you're going up a hill and it's like, oh my God, you know, your legs are burning, etc. And so what I say is, I literally say it out loud because you know I need that affirmation. I literally say, "This is so easy. This is easy, easy, easy, easy." And you know I'm still in pain, but you know I'm not focusing on that. I'm just it just by the time I'm done, I didn't even feel it as much as you know saying, "This is so hard. I gotta get off this bike. Oh my God! I can't." I can't, you know, I can't breathe. Do you understand? So really, this is so important and so overlooked by a lot of people, especially in leadership positions. So, and the thing is, your brain will reward repetition and it will reward repetition very fast and very efficient, in a very efficient way. So if you're you're telling your brain or your thoughts are negative, well, you're really gonna spiral down. But if it's positive, you're spiraling up, you're lifting yourself up, and you are opening up doors that are literally there because there's millions of them, right? So let's move on. So I want to talk about some studies actually. And what's happening inside the brain when we, you know, with these verbal affirmations. So, studies by Cross and Liberman show that verbal affirmations like what I just gave you, the examples that I said when, you know, I'm biking or I'm at Costco, whatever, I'm cold, etc. So, studies show that verbal affirmations light up similar neural networks as physical experiences. So you're creating mental rehearsal. Your brain is literally preparing you for what you say is coming. So make sure that your brain is preparing you for something positive, that's something good in your life and not something that's gonna— is gonna put you down or limit you in any way. So You're not just— your thoughts and your words are not just describing your world, they're shaping how you experience things around you. So here's a very, very interesting fact: indigenous languages without past and future tenses experience time differently. Did you know this? And some cultures literally don't see certain colors because their language doesn't label them. Where they're able to see it. So your words are literally constructing your reality. You're either— think of it that way— you're either building like this fortress or digging a trap, right? So I want to give you another way to look at your RAS and understand the RAS. I think of it as like a brain internal algorithm. I mean, you've all been on social media, whether it's Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, whatever social media you're on. Have you noticed when you're on these platforms that the algorithm will show you more of what you interact with? So, you're scrolling, scrolling, scrolling and going that way. Details. And when you like certain types or when you like or react or comment or share or save a certain type of information post, well, the algorithm will show you more of it. So think of your RAS as the algorithm on social media that's just going to feed you the information that you're reacting with, that you're reinforcing. Okay, so your RAS will show you more of what you're actually focusing on. So keep engaging with stress, fear, and limitations while your RAS is going to push more. You remember, algorithm is going to push more of that into your awareness. So start interacting with gratitude, opportunity, and confidence. Well, guess what? Your RAS is going to start showing you more of that in your environment. Your RAS in your brain doesn't judge. It doesn't filter for truth, you know, good or bad. It doesn't. It just filters for relevance based on repetition. So if you keep saying, no one listens to me. No one's ever listened to me. Well, your RAS tunes into every moment you're ignored and it's gonna focus on that. So it's gonna filter out all the moments that you were heard. So it doesn't mean that you weren't, that you're never listened to. You just, your RAS is going to filter all the moments that you were actually listened to, that you were actually heard, but it's going to focus only on the moment that you're ignored because you're telling it no one listens to me. And if you shift to I communicate clearly, powerfully, I'm successful, etc., now your RAS starts noticing engagement and moments of clarity. It's really not rocket science. It's neuroscience. Okay? So again, your thoughts and words are like clicking like on specific content. So whatever you engage with the most, your brain shows you more of. The RAS is always working. It's constantly working. The only question is, what are you training it to see? Now that you know, please pay attention to this. What kind of mental algorithm are you training right now? And isn't is it giving you the feed that worth living in? The reality that you want to create for yourself? I'm curious to know what you guys think. If you're listening live, please put it in the comment. I'd love to. I'd love to really get your your two cents. And if you're if you're listening to the replay. Please do comment. I really want to know. All right, so I have a little micro challenge for you. Okay, so let me just share this on on the screen here. Okay, here's your challenge. I want to leave you with with something that will will help you practice. So for the next three days, track your most repeated thought or phrase about yourself. What do you keep telling yourself? Be aware of it, track it, write it down, and then ask, is this the kind of programming, is this the kind of programming of the reality I want? Is this serving me? Is this what I really want? If it's not, well, consciously replace it with one thought, just one, that is the opposite of— basically, it doesn't have to be the opposite but what you really want. Example, if you keep repeating, I can't keep up, Maybe try, I'm on top of things. I got this. Or if you keep saying, I hate managing people, or I hate this, or I hate that, and then just make it with a positive affirmation. I lead with— maybe if it's, I hate managing people, you can say, I lead with curiosity. And I love leading. I am amazing at managing people. If this is what you want to develop, right? Okay. So the important thing is that you say it but you mean it. You're not just saying, I love managing people. No, no, no, no, no. You really need to say it, mean it, and repeat it because your brain is listening. Every single second, every time it is listening. All right, I just want to wrap up here. We're already kind of almost at the end of the episode. So I really am curious to have basically your comments, what you think of this. How did this work for you, this micro challenge? Please do tag me in the comments. Reach out to me. You can DM me on all the social media out there. Actually, you can see the QR code in the corner here. If you scan it, then you'll have access to all my socials and you'll be able to subscribe to this podcast, to our newsletter, and you'll be able to send me a DM or just literally just comment directly on this stream. So again, please tell me what you've experienced and how did this help you. I can guarantee you this will change your life. This will change your life for the better. It's just by repetition though. You need to keep practicing it. Don't just do it once and forget about it because, you know, this is what happens because now you are telling your brain to act differently and say things that it's been trained to say for a long, long time and that's been firing and wiring together. So we need to kind of disconnect the firing and fire new neurons with new habits and new words and new thoughts to where you really want to go. And so in order to build those new neurons and these neural pathways and fire them, wire them together, it's again this new repetition that needs to happen. And the more of this happens, then guess what? The old patterns— what happens to the old patterns? Just stops wiring together and firing. Right? So, if you're a leader who keeps saying, this team is so reactive. We're always behind. Nothing ever goes as planned. You are training literally yourself and your team's nervous system to expect stress and scarcity. So again, be mindful of your words and start with, we're learning to work better together. We don't panic. We got We got this. We know how to prioritize. We create, we take a moment. We create that space to reflect before we react. This literally reconditions not just your mind but your team's emotional awareness. And that's where culture gets built. All right. So, I hope this episode was really helpful to you and these tips are going to serve you. Again, I really want to know what you've practiced, what you've applied, please do put it in the comment. And if anything I said today resonated with you, please do put it in the comment. Your feedback is important as I keep, you know, building podcasts and episodes and relevant subjects that people are interested in. So remember, you're always speaking your future into your brain. So ask yourself the question, what future Are you rehearsing right now? Change your words, change your wiring. Again, your brain is listening and it's building exactly what you keep saying to it. Okay, I'm gonna just invite you to again scan that code up there. Please do follow us on social media, subscribe to the podcast, Comment. There's always a newsletter that is published every couple of weeks. And do reach out. I really want to hear from you. Your support really is helpful and your feedback is even more helpful. So, if this really speaks to you, share this episode. Practice it. And if you're ready to transform how you lead, if you're ready to step up, if you're ready to play at a whole different level, And build a team and a life that reflects what you really want. Let's talk. Reach out to me. Okay? Have a wonderful rest of the day, everyone, and we'll see you next week on our guest leader series. I will be posting this soon. All right. Take care.