Ego-Driven Player vs. Task-Driven Player (Which Player Are You?) - Podcast Episode 28)

Foreign. Thank you guys. Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube, shout out to all of you guys. Gonna get into pretty deep topic today. I was going through a couple things that I have to do for the team that I coach. I take a couple courses and in one of the courses I had to take, there was a really, really interesting topic that reminded me of a couple of you guys that I've talked to about something kind of similar to this. And also a lot of what I see, it kind of just jogged my memory going through this course. And it was one of those things where it started off like, I'm sure if you guys have had a class in school or like maybe some course you had to take where it's like you start off with and you're like, oh, this is literally the dumbest thing I've ever done. And then like, there's some part of it where you're like, okay, this is actually kind of interesting. And like, this is kind of applicable. I, um. And that was what this course, this part of the course was, um, and so it inspired this, this podcast. I was taking notes on it and really the, the question that it made me think of is I've gotten this a couple of times where, you know, players will ask me like, hey, coach, how do I give the same effort when I'm losing by a lot? Like, my team is losing, my team's losing a lot of games. Like, we're having a rough time. Like, how do you maintain that same level of commitment and focus every single time you're on the court? And I think this can be broken down even more than that. I think we can look at it like, okay, how do you respond when something bad happens to you in a game, in a practice? Like, what is your response to that? Look, like, because there are players who are very, very talented, but because their response to negative things happening is so poor, they really self sabotage. And today's podcast is going to be all about that and all about how you can overcome that and ultimately how you can put yourself in a position to be a more consistent player and not only more consistent, but get yourself to a point where you can play at a higher level more consistently. Okay, how can we optimize the skills you have so that you can be at your best the most amount of time possible? That's our goal ultimately. Okay, that's why we go to the gym and work out. That's why we do all this. That's why you guys listen to my podcast. So you can be at your best as often as you possibly can be. Right? So that's the goal of today's podcast. So really, what it comes down to, the first question I want to ask you is, how do you define success? Okay. And let's talk even smaller than that, right? How do you define success in school? Okay, think about that for a second. Like, what would you consider if you were to tell somebody you're a successful student or someone to tell you they're a successful student to you? What is. What does that entail? What does that mean? Okay, maybe that means to you, like, oh, they got all A's or they have a 4.0 GPA or they're in all honors classes or whatever. Like, whatever might be for you. Okay, now let's talk about that in the context of basketball. Like, what is. What does a successful basketball player look like? Okay. If you tell somebody that you had a successful game, what exactly does that mean? If you tell somebody you had a successful practice, what does that mean? You tell somebody you had a successful season, what does that mean to you? Okay, that's really where we're gonna start off when it comes to this topic that we're gonna break down today. When you have that answer, I want you to hold on to that for a second, okay? There's been a lot of research that's been done that shows that the way an individual person perceives success, their definition of it is gonna have a major influence on the way that they behave, the way that they think, and the actual feeling that they get when they achieve something. Okay? That's why some players, when something bad happens, are going to respond differently than another player. Right? The same thing might happen to them. The ones are going to respond very, very differently to the other one. Okay? And I know you guys have seen that probably on your own teams, okay? And for the most part, people perceive success in two different ways, right? The first way is task based or task driven. Okay? And the second way is ego driven. Okay? So those are kind of two opposite ends. But for the most part, people either lean towards being task driven when they talk about their success, or ego driven when we talk about their success. And we're gonna talk about which one is better and which one you fall. But first of all, I want you to think about that answer you gave, right? When you talk about basketball, okay? Is your answer, when it comes to being successful, does that mean, oh, a successful season means that, you know, I average 25 a game and my team won every game and I never turned the ball over one time the whole year I never missed one shot the whole year. If that's your definition of success, that's what we call being ego driven. Because if that's the only way you view success, when that doesn't happen, when you do miss a shot, you're going to be severely affected because now you're going to feel like you can't achieve success and that's going to affect your effort the way that you approach the rest of the game. And ultimately it's going to make the game a lot less fun. Okay, so we talked about an ego driven player, right? What, like, what does that mean? Exactly. So typically an ego driven player is gonna be very, very focused on how their abilities match up to people around them, okay? So they're gonna be thinking, oh, am I better than my teammate? Am I better than that guy? Am I, do I look better than like, basically it's gonna be a major comparison trap, okay? At every moment it's about how can I compare myself and prove that I'm better than this person next to me, okay? And that might, that, that's not. That may be a good thing, but also can be at the detriment of yourself or your team, okay? And ultimately, when you're an ego driven player, okay, there's going to be a major correlation for you with success and winning, okay? Win. Winning equals success and losing equals failure. And that's how it is. There's no context, there's no whatever. You either win and you succeed or you lose and you fail. And there's absolutely no exceptions to that. That's how you do it, okay? And it's a very, very straightforward definition of success for you because basically you just look at the scoreboard and that's all that matters to you, okay? And oftentimes this person would prefer to win by giving. In the ideal situation, they can beat their opponent without having to try as hard and ultimately without having to prepare as much. Okay? So you would prefer to have to get to go play against a terrible team that you know you guys are going to beat by 60 because you know that you don't really have to bring it. You don't have to try that hard in practice the day before because you're going to win. Like those are the games that you love because you know you can go out and drop 30 against guys who are terrible, but you also know that you don't have to give your best effort, okay? And those are the situations that ego driven players seek out because again, all that matters is what does the school board say? Did I win or did I lose? That's all that matters to them. Okay. If their self confidence is really high, then they're going to tend to be focused on how to prove their ability to everybody else around them rather than focusing on improving that ability so that long term they become better. Okay? That's a ego driven player with a high self confidence. If we're talking about an ego driven player with a low self confidence, then they're going to be constantly comparing themselves to the guy next to them being, oh, am I good enough to beat that guy? Am I good enough to be here? Am I good enough to do that? Can I do this, can I do that? And it's going to be very, very internally focused the entire time. And that's really going to be what you're going to get from a player like that. Okay? So that's really an ego driven player. Kind of in a nutshell. An ego driven player is very, very, it's very, very easy for them to get derailed by, in the context of the game. And that can be by sort of nonsensical things like trash talk and all that stuff where stuff that isn't like a big deal can derail that player. Okay, I'm not saying trash talk is necessarily a bad thing all the time, but I'm saying this player is going to potentially, at the expense of themselves or the team basically get sucked into trash talk to the point where they're not able to produce as well. Right, right. They're going to get sucked into what the fans are saying to the point where they're not going to be able to produce as well because that's what they care about. They care about proving themselves to people instead of winning, actually winning the game. Okay? It's really a, it's really a false, it's a fault. They're putting up a front essentially that they're all about winning, but really it's all about proving themselves at any point possible. Okay? They're going to prioritize a scoreboard over actual excellence. Okay. Over actual improvement. And that may cause them to avoid situations that they might lose in. Okay. And we're going to go through a couple situations in a minute, but it's very, very detrimental to them. Okay? So there are some upsides to that, but there's a lot of downsides to being that ego driven player as well. That person who only defines success by the scoreboard, winning or losing, no context involved. A task driven player, on the other hand, is going to feel successful when they gain a skill or, or they improve at something, okay? So their definition of success is about how much can they improve? How much, like, did they play up to their potential that day? Okay, did they improve their capacity to produce going forward because they got better? That's the definition of success for someone who is task driven, okay? And this person is always going to try their best. They're always trying their hardest. They're always going the hardest. Even if they know that they're a lot better than somebody, they might not have to give their best effort. They might not have to work that hard in practice to beat somebody. They're going to do it anyway because again, their definition of success is did I give my best effort and did I play up to my potential every single day? And that's the way that they define success. If they didn't do it, even if they still won the game, they don't feel successful because they know they could have done better. And this person is focused on experiencing personal improvement. And instead of having to prove that they care about improving, okay, improving themselves rather than having to prove the ability that they already have. And they're able to focus on what they're doing in the moment, not those outside factors. So they don't get derailed by trash talk to the point where it affects them. They don't get derailed by the crowd or what people are saying to them. They are very, very focused on the task at hand, at winning the game, at doing things. They need to be successful on the court, and they primarily think about how to accomplish or get better at the task at hand. And if they are able to achieve that high level of focus and they feel that high level of purpose as well, then they're going to feel successful, okay? That's how they're going to judge themselves. That's how they're going to judge their success. And above all, they're fiercely competitive, not just with other people, but themselves, right? They want to be better than they were the day before. They want to. They want to be able to look at themselves, hey, you know what? A week ago, I wasn't as good as I am now, right? And guess what? In another week from now, I'm going to be even better than I am right now. That's the way they compete. They don't necessarily say, hey, you know, I'm better than that guy. I'm better than that guy. I'm not as good as that guy. I'm better than that. Their only competition really is themselves. Okay, you know what? How can I get Better this month, right? Am I better than I was last month? Did I improve at the, at the highest rate that I possibly could? Did I put in the. All the work that I could? Did I slack off in practice? Did I make the most of the time that I spent in the gym? That's how they define whether or not they're successful. And because, and the reason, because it's because they want to win. They want to put themselves in the best position to actually win. And this is a true desire to win. Not the front of proving that they're better than everybody or proving that they're this or that they're. That they want to win, actually. Okay? And that's why they are driven the way that they are, because they know that the way to win consistently long term is to become the best player they could possibly be. And you have to understand that the way to maximize winning in the long term is by trying hard. It's by getting uncomfortable and it's by choosing to take on challenges and showing persistence when you're faced with adversity. Okay? So that's again a task driven player in a nutshell right there. How do you know which one you are? Right? You might think yourself, hey, you know what? I kind of feel like I have factors of each or maybe I feel like I don't even know what you're talking about. How does it relate to me? So how can we figure out what you are? What category do you fall into or what characteristics do you show the most often? Okay, where do you tend to lean when it comes to this? And a, let's think about this situation right here, okay? And we'll think about it. For a task evolved player, so let's say you know, you're the starting point guard, right? Or you're whatever, okay? And you go out and you miss your first two or three shots of the game, right? First quarter, you miss your first three shots. They were good shots, they're open shots and you just missed them, okay? A task driven player is going to continue to maintain a high level of energy, high level of focus, high level intensity. They're going to try their best still, regardless of the misses, and they're going to take the next shot if they're given the opportunity to, right? If they're on the court expected to take shots and produce, they're going to continue to do that regardless of whether or not they miss a shot or two. Okay? And again, to remind you guys, you should know this, but there's going to be situations where you're going to do that. You're going to go through stretches where you're going to miss your first five shots in a game. It's going to happen sometimes. So they feel successful by continuing to maintain that high level of effort, by continuing to play up to their best, their best, their standard, right? Holding to a standard of excellence, and they're going to feel successful because you know what? I gave my best effort this entire game, regardless of whether or not the ball went in or didn't go in. This person is a valuable and consistent member of the team because the coaches and the players know, like, hey, you know what? Even if he misses some shots, like, he's going to continue to play hard on defense. He's going to encourage his teammates when they make shots, and he's ultimately the guy that you want to have on your team because he contributes to winning, okay? And they're going to make adjustments based on feedback from both those missed shots. Maybe they turn the ball over, they're going to make feed, they're going to be able to see feedback and receive it, and they're going to make adjustments based on that, okay? They're going to be able to take coaching well. They're going to be able to learn from their misses, and that's not going to affect their energy at all. It's going to stay at a very, very high level. And this person, this player is going to continue to persist until they. They win the game or the. The game ends. Right? But ultimately, it's not about the scoreboard. It's about, okay, I'm gonna give my best love, my best effort, regardless of the adversity or whatever I face. That doesn't matter to me, okay? I'm gonna judge success based on, did I go out there and do the best that I possibly could? Because I can't be expected to do more, right? If there's a level I'm not at yet, then I'm not expecting myself to do that. I'm just gonna go out there and do the best that I can right now, that that's how I'm going to be successful. Because eventually I'm going to get to a point where I'm going to put in the work and I'm going to improve my capacity. We think about it like this. Maybe at that point their capacity is this. It's really, really small. But then they work at it, they get better, and all of a sudden their capacity is this. So now they can handle more, they can produce more, and now they hold themselves to an even higher standard because they're better. Okay? That's how they define success. So that's a task of all players. So if you feel like you identify with that, that's a really good thing right there. We're going to get into why this has a lot of upsides to it. The ego driven player has a lot of downsides to it as well. But we talk about an ego involved player in the same situation. Let's say they make a shot or too early, they get out there and they hit their first two shots at that point usually becomes tunnel vision on launching the ball every single time. I don't care about what my teammates are doing, what my coaches tell me to do, I'm going to go out there and shoot whether or not it's going to be the best situation for the team. We all know players like this, who maybe you played against or you played with, where they, they hit a couple shots and then it's like, man, they're not passing the ball and they don't care if they got a guy open, if they're covered, whatever the play might be, they're going to shoot the basketball because that's what they feel like they should do. Okay? And part of that can be low basketball iq, but another part of that can be like, hey, you know what? I made my shots like now it's all about me. And if they miss two or three shots, conversely, they're going to start to become more passive offensively. They're going to start to shy away from taking shots. They're going to feel like, hey, you know what? Doesn't matter. Like they're going to start to give less effort all around. They're not going to try as hard to get open. They're not going to make cuts on offense anymore. And usually their defensive effort might waver a little bit as well. And they're just not going to try as hard in other aspects of the game. And then at that point, they're going to start blaming their teammates for why they aren't getting the ball, or they're going to blame their teammates for doing this, for not rebounding, for not playing defense, for not doing this or doing that. They're going to start finding some way to shift the blame from them to other people. They're going to blame the coach for calling the wrong plays, they're going to blame the officials for doing this, the defense for fouling them, whatever it's going to be. They're going to find a way to shell blame off of themselves and put onto somebody else because they know that their effort is decreasing and everybody can see it and they want to find an excuse for why that's acceptable. Okay? That's what the ego driven player is going to do. And again, I'm sure you guys know players like that. Hopefully that's not you, but if it is you, it's okay for that right now. Okay? Be able to admit that, be able to accept that, because that's the first step we're going to go through to be able to change that, okay? And at that point they're motivated by the fact that if I don't shoot the basketball, I can't miss, right? If I, I miss my first three shots, people might think I'm terrible, whatever. Now if I don't shoot the basketball, like I can't miss and no one else can, no one can think that I'm not good, right? Even if it means not being able to play up to their highest potential, they might have the ability to hit shots, but because they, they feel embarrassed because they missed or they feel like, you know, now someone's, oh, he's, he's a worse player than that guy because he missed those shots. Like that's, that's what's going through their mind. They're constantly, again, constantly comparing themselves to their teammates or to another guy or the other team or whatever instead of saying, you know, I'm just going to go up and play my best game. Now they're in their head about who's thinking what, who's doing what. And that's just not a good place to be, to be at all. And by not trying hard, they're going to have an excuse. Now they can say, hey, you know, I just, I didn't try like, I, like that's why I didn't play well. And that to them, that feels like a good enough excuse. So they're gonna start to feel down on themselves and ultimately they're gonna play below their level that they actually can play at all. Because of, mentally up here things just went crazy, right? That's, that's really the only reason why that happened to them. So before we get into the rest of this, I just wanted to read you guys a quick quote. You guys probably have all heard this, but it's from Michael Jordan where he says, I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games, 26 times. I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I failed over and over and over again. In my life and that is why I succeed. So the reason I wanted to read that quote is just because again, it solidifies what I'm talking about when it talks about a task driven player, A guy who's completely committed to getting better, completely committed to playing up to his highest potential, okay, where he's not going to care, like, you know what, I might have missed that shot, but I know that I can make the next one. So I'm going to keep on doing that, okay? Where this guy is saying, hey, you know what? We won that game, but I feel like we should have won that game by more because I feel like I could have played better, right? That's the type of guy that Michael Jordan is. And all the greats are like that. All the guys who are great are, are always focused on, on being better, right? If you listen to a lot of these guys talk after a game, you're gonna hear him say, like, you know what? We won, but we could have won by more. You listen to LeBron postgame, okay? Everyone's seen the quote of Kobe Bryant, right? Where, you know, he, after I forget which, which finals game it was, but the reporter asked him like, hey, you know, you guys won the game, like, how do you feel? And he's basically like, hey, job's not finished. And that was his. How was his answer, right? Because he knows, like, you know what, for a lot of guys, they wanted, if you win a game in the NBA Finals, you feel really good about yourself. But like, for me, like, I know we have another level that we need to get to. Like, we're not done yet. Like, we can be better, we can do better. And ultimately that's the sign of a task driven player. All about improvement, all about what can I do next to be better, to get better, to improve my ability to perform and, and what's the next level for me, for me to reach? I can't feel satisfied being where I'm at. I've got to get better. So clearly we can see that the ego driven player is at a disadvantage when it comes to performance, consistent performance especially. And despite the fact that the only metric that an ego driven player has for success is winning, despite that they're going to struggle to consistently win because of what the situation we just went through where they start to miss a couple shots and it's boom, checked out downhill from there. So despite the fact that they're like all about winning, they're not really all about winning because they're really mostly about proving themselves to people and if they feel like they can't do that, then they're not really about winning anymore. So because of this mindset, they're going to struggle to play consistently well, but also they're going to struggle to consistently contribute to a winning team. So you might have a guy who's a really good player, but his team is terrible and you feel like, oh man, those guys should be way better. Sometimes it can be because their best player or the best players are ego driven and they only play well when things are going well. When things are going well, they're great. But when things start to go wrong, when someone starts to challenge them, it's over for them, okay? So that's why we want to get away from being that sort of player. We don't want that. We want to be a task driven player. And long term development and success is much more likely to occur when a player. When you evaluate yourself based on factors that you control, okay, you do not control whether or not the ball goes in the basket. It doesn't matter how great you shoot the basketball, you do not control it, right? You might shoot the ball perfectly and you feel as soon as it goes off your hands, oh, that's, that's nothing but net, like that's going in and it still might roll around and go out, right? You might shoot a layup and you might have a defender come out of nowhere and block your shot. You didn't see him, right? You don't control the ball going in the basket. You don't do it. No matter how hard you try, the ball might still miss, okay? So you don't control that. You definitely don't control the scoreboard. You definitely don't control who scores for your team, who scores the other team. You definitely do not control that. You might play great defense and the offensive might throw up a backward shot without looking and the ball might go in, right? That can happen. So you don't control that. What you do control is.