Here's How Great Players Communicate With Their Teammates

The first part I want to talk about is taking feedback well. And this is an area where a lot of players struggle with. A lot of them struggle with, is taking feedback well, taking coaching well. And we're going to talk about this from. We can talk about from really either perspective. But, you know, generally a teammate or a coach that you have, they're going to have relevance information to the situation that you're in. Like, they generally have an idea, an accurate idea of what's actually happening, right? They're in practice with you, they're in games with you. They see what's happening. So when they say something to you, they typically have at least some evidence for what they're saying, right? It's not as if there's some random person talking to you. So I'm talking specifically somebody who actually has relevant information, somebody who's with you in practice, with you in games, who sees all that sort of stuff. And also, they generally have a vested interest in you being better, you being as good as you can be. Because for a coach, the better you are, the better his team is, and. And the better he is as coach because he wins more games because his team is better. So you being better is in his best interest for your teammate, right? You being better is for their best interest. If they want to win, if they're a teammate who values winning, they want you to be the best you can be. So you have to understand that generally when you get feedback from your teammates and coaches, they first of all have an idea of what's actually the case, and they have relevant information. And two, they also are. They want you to be as successful as possible because that helps them. So you have to approach. Start. Start looking at feedback as a good thing. I mean, okay, if they're giving me feedback, that means that they actually care about me succeeding, right? And they want me to be the best that I can be. So you have to look at feedback through that lens, first of all. So don't be the player who can't accept feedback, especially criticism, because that's the sign of a very emotionally immature player, is players who can't accept criticism. And when you receive that feedback, right, when your coaches, your coach says to you, hey, like, you know, you're not doing a great job of, you know, getting to help. We need to be there. Like, you're getting there late. If you have a question on that, then ask the question on it, right? You don't have to just sit there and be like, oh, okay, and not know what they're talking about, you can ask them to elaborate a little bit if you need more of that. But regardless of that, when you receive that feedback, and you might not always agree with the feedback either. You might not always think like, oh, well, if your teammate tells you, like, hey, you know, you got to sprint harder in transition and you already feel like you are, you know, again, maybe that's a situation where you don't agree with them completely, but again, they're saying that because they want you to be better, because it helps them be better. You know what I mean? So when you receive feedback, thank them for their feedback, right? And I understand, like, you're not always gonna have a chance to say, oh, thank you for that. Like, but at the very least, be appreciative of them giving you feedback. First of all, if a coach is giving you feedback, that's a good thing, because generally it means that they actually, again, they care about you being better. If they. There. There are plenty of players coaches have who they don't even give feedback to because they know that player doesn't care or that player isn't going to help them. That player is not good enough to even, like, it doesn't even matter, right? So if they're giving you feedback, it's because they. They care about you and they want you to be successful, which is a great thing. And same thing with your teammates, too. So be appreciative of that feedback and start looking at it as a good thing instead of somebody attacking you, because generally it's not that. So then the second point I want to make with, with relationship management is on the other side of it, give clear and constructive feedback. So feedback is meant to address the problem, not the person, right? So you need to think about how does this person need to hear my message so that it's clear, direct, constructive, and respectful. Those things matter. You cannot just blurt out the first thing you want to say to somebody, because if it's not those things, then they're probably not going to get the message. And if you are actually concerned about fixing a problem, then you're not. You're not putting yourself in the best position to actually do that. So first of all, you know who you're talking to. Some people, some teammates you might have are very direct and they'll. They can be told things very directly and very bruntly, bluntly. And they, like, they can. They can handle that. Like, that's how they are. But you're also gonna have teammates who aren't that. Teammates who are a little bit more Sensitive teammates who maybe can't handle you being direct with them. So if you try and be direct with those sort of teammates, they're going to resent you. They're not going to listen to you. They're going to be defensive and not take what you have to say. And then at that point, what are we doing? We're not fixing any problems. You're probably creating more problems by being direct with that person. So what you can do, and generally I think this is a good habit to have, is use softening statements. So this can be like, you know, I think or I believe or, you know, this time or last time or sometimes, right? So, you know, you might say, instead of saying to somebody like, hey, you know, that was, you know, let's say you're on the court and your teammate takes a shot that you don't like. And instead of you saying like, hey, man, terrible shot. Pass the ball next time. Again, we talked about timing, right? If they just took a bad shot and they missed it, the ball went out of bounds, you walk up and say, that's a terrible shot. Pass the ball next time. How do you think they're going to take that? Probably not. Well, probably not going to look to pass you the ball because they're probably going to resent you for that. So how can we adjust that to make it a little bit softer so that they're more receptive to that? Well, one thing you can do is you can say, hey, man, it's all good. Next time, though, make sure you take a look to the corner because they're closing out hard to you, so I'll be wide open on that. And honestly, you'll probably get the ball back if I attack it right there. So you, you just said the same thing to them, which is, I didn't like that shot. Pass me the ball next time. But you said it in a way that wasn't going. Wasn't attacking them, wasn't calling them out, wasn't, you know, again, wasn't putting them on the defensive, because once somebody gets defensive, you're not going to. They're not going to be receptive. What you'd say. They're. They're going to put up a wall immediately, and anything you say to them is just going to bounce right off of that. So you. You were able to keep them away from being defensive about something, but you still get the same point across, which is, hey, next time, passing the ball. And then you know, that's going to be better for our team. That was essentially what you said, but they are going to. They're going to take it in a way. Is like, okay. Like, you know, he said, like, hey. He didn't come at me and say, that was terrible. He said, hey, make sure you pass the ball next time, because if I catch it and they close out hard, I'll be able to drive and probably kick it right back to you. So he's like, okay, yeah, I can do that. Next time you're going to get the ball passed to you. So the goal is to fix the problem, not to go at the person. The point is to fix what's wrong. And in that second scenario where you went out, where you said to them, hey, man, it's all good. Next time, though, is make sure you look corner, made that extra pass to me because they're closed. Not really hard to you. And if I get it and I drive, I'll probably hit it right back to you. Will be good. All right. That. That, like, you fixed the problem with that situation. The first one where you just went right up and said, hey, that was terrible shot. Pass the ball. You didn't fix anything. You just made things worse, Right? So the goal is to fix things. And when you put people on the defensive, you don't fix things. You make things worse. So you have to be able to kind of disarm your teammates by how you actually say things to them. Because how you say things is probably more. In fact, it is how you say things is more important than what you actually say. Because if you say something the wrong way, even if it's the right information, if you say it the wrong way, then they're going to put up a wall, they're going to resent you, and it's going to make the relationship worse, and it's going to make your team worse. That's where. Why we have a bunch of teammates who hate each other because they don't know how to communicate with each other, right? And we don't want that. We don't want that to be the case. So that's what. That's. That's what you guys have to understand about relationship management, is that how you do things matters more than what it is that you do, right? How you actually go about making sure people are receptive. What you have to say, what you do, that stuff matters when it comes to being a leader.