Melannie Gregersen explains why aggressive workplace pursuit backfires. Sending gifts or confessing feelings too fast, before real emotional connection exists, will freak her out and damage your working relationship.
far too often, one of the main things that causes a coworker situation to go wrong is that you freak her out. Like, you scare her to death. It's not that she wants to get you in trouble, it's that she's terrified. An example of this is just pursuing too aggressively or acting like there's emotional closeness when there isn't any there yet. Some examples would be sending her gifts when you've never even been on a date, or confessing that you have feelings for her when you've never even been on a date. Those are things that you should never do unless you've been going out for a while. There needs to be that emotional closeness there as well. So often what happens is a guy will, you know, notice a girl and think she's cute. And then he'll notice signs that maybe she thinks he's cute as well. And then he will say something or do something that terrifies her. And that's what gets him in trouble.
