In this YouTube monologue, Christian dating coach Melannie Gregersen outlines a step‑by‑step framework for turning a texting interaction into a real‑world relationship. She begins by emphasizing that a man should never give his number; instead, he should ask for the woman’s number to signal masculine leadership and romantic intent. After obtaining her number, she advises texting within 24 hours with a friendly, confident opener, and immediately introducing light flirting to demonstrate interest and gauge her receptivity. The core timeline she recommends is to ask her out within the first week of getting her number, arguing that prolonged texting leads to the “friend zone” and erodes excitement. For men already stuck in a “texting buddies” phase, she suggests shifting the tone to more overtly masculine, attractive communication, possibly hinting at a date before directly asking. Once a date is secured, she stresses showing up as the best authentic version of oneself, choosing a talk‑focused activity that allows deep connection, and avoiding pretenses. Throughout, she frames the advice as “the science of attraction” from a wholesome, Christian perspective, repeatedly urging viewers to subscribe, join her free masterclass (coachmelannie.com/masterclass), and engage with comment prompts (“flirts”, “potato salad”). The video ends with a brief plug for a related video on signs she likes you as more than a friend.
Chapters
How to go from texting to actually dating her. What do you do when you meet a gorgeous woman, you start texting her, but it hasn't gone any further than that? Or maybe you've known each other for a while, you've been texting for a while, but you don't want to be texting buddies. You want to be more. She's fun, she's adorable, and you really want to be dating her. You know that if your connection stays exactly where it's at, you'll never be dating her. So it's time to learn what to do next. In this video, I'm going to be walking you through the steps you need to go from getting her number to actually be able to start dating. And if you've been texting each other for a while, don't worry, I'm going to cover what to do in that situation as well. As we dive in, do not forget to subscribe. You will never learn sleazy mind games or tricks. I only teach you the science of attraction from a Christian perspective. As a Christian coach, I only ever share the science, of attraction from a wholesome perspective. So if that's what you're looking for, if you want authentic love, make sure you subscribe. Okay, let's start from actually getting her number. Let's just begin there. The first thing you need to know is never ever ever give a woman your number. Instead, always ask for hers. You want to do this for a couple of reasons. One is that it shows that you are the masculine leader. It shows that you are a man she can respect. You're confident, you're capable, you're proactive. And feminine women really want that. They really respect that. They admire a man who can do that. Another reason why you want to do this, ask for her number instead of give her yours, is that it establishes from the very beginning that you don't want just a platonic relationship. This isn't just texting buddies. You are actually expressing you're expressing interest in a masculine way. It shows that this is a romantic interaction, not just a friendly one. So often the reason people end up in the friend zone or just being texting buddies is because they're not clear about their intentions from the start. You can be very respectful and very appropriate while still being clear that you are interested in a romantic way. And as a matter of fact, that's the best way to do it. That way there's no confusion. And as I mentioned earlier, it helps you present yourself as a very confident man. The second thing you need to know if you want to move from texting to actually dating her is that once you have her number, text her within 24 hours. There are a lot of people who talk about, "Oh, you know, make her wait, make her wonder." And the truth is that's a very immature approach, okay? That's a very immature approach. It's going to make her think, if we're talking about mature women, high-quality women, she's going to think you're kind of an airhead. Or she's going to think that you're not particularly interested. She's going to lose some respect for you and not really want to give you any of her time. So instead, show up as that confident masculine leader. Leaders do things in appropriate time. They don't wait around so she can wonder. So show respect to her and she will respect you. Text her within 24 hours. I certainly wouldn't push that towards the end of 24 for hours. Just text, send a text, "Hey, it was so fun to meet you at," wherever it was you met, "this is," and your name, so she knows who you are. Then maybe ask a question to get the conversation going. When a man pursues as a confident masculine man, it is so attractive to a woman. She loves that. She wants that. And so this is going to help prevent you becoming just a texting buddy. It again establishes that you're interested in a romantic way and you're a leader. My next tip for how to move from texting to actually dating is after you've initially started texting, make sure you flirt in the texts. Make sure that you don't make this feel like a platonic relationship. There are a couple of benefits to flirting over text. Now obviously you should never have an entire relationship over text, But you already know that because you want to move from texting to a relationship. But especially in the early stages of a relationship, it can be easier to flirt over text than in person. We don't feel quite as nervous sometimes if we're flirting over text. We can also, you know, think a little more clearly sometimes because we're not lost in their eyes or something like that. So you can kind of craft your reply. Another benefit to flirting while you're texting her before you've even asked her out is it helps her know that, yes, you are definitely interested in a romantic way. But you can also kind of gauge her reaction. You can gauge if she gets flirty too, if she just kind of is uncomfortable with that, if maybe she's not as interested as perhaps you thought she was. You can gauge those things before you actually set up a date. And it can just save you some time to know that up front. Ideally, she will be receptive and she'll send flirty emojis and she'll flirt back and she'll LOL and all those things indicating that she is being very receptive to that flirting. And I just want to pause here in case anyone watching this video feels incredibly overwhelmed and like you'll never understand women. If that's you, Don't worry, I've got your back. I'm here for you. I totally get it. Sometimes men and women are very confusing to each other. And that's why I'm here, to help translate. That's literally my job. So do you want to understand women better? You're going to love what you learn in my free masterclass. I'm going to explain so much about what women want, what they desire, what they need in order to trust you, to respect you, to admire you, to love you. For a lifelong relationship. And as always, no mind games, no tricks, just honest truth about high-quality women and what they want. So if you want a wholesome approach to love, if you're looking for lifelong love, go to coachmelannie.com/masterclass or check out the link in the description below. The next thing you need to know about texting her and how to move it to a relationship is to ask her out soon. You don't want to just start texting, even flirty texts, for an entire month before you actually ask her out. If you do that, the excitement's going to start to wear off. She's going to think, "This is really weird. Does he just wanna be texting buddies? Is he just flirtatious? Does he just text, like, 25 women and flirt with all of them?" It's going to make it more awkward the more time goes. So ask her out soon. Definitely within the first week of getting her number. Absolutely within the first week of getting her number. This will again demonstrate that you are a confident man who takes action. Women respect men like that. And honestly, you'll respect yourself better if you treat yourself like a leader. Remember, being a leader doesn't mean that you dominate, it doesn't mean you're a monarch, it doesn't mean you're possessive. It just means that you lead. Confidently, that you set the tone for what this relationship is. When you ask her out early on, it again demonstrates that you are not interested in being just friends, just texting buddies. It shows that you respect your time and hers. You're not here to waste a bunch of time. She will respect you more for asking her out sooner rather than later. So get to know each other a little bit, be fun to text, do a little flirting, and ask her out. Be transparent about the fact that you're talking to her because you're interested in her. So a question some of you might have is, what if you didn't just get her number? What if you've actually been texting each other for a while? Maybe you're kind of already in that texting buddies zone. What do you do at this point? How do you get out of the texting buddies zone? And how do you actually move into a potential relationship? If you haven't yet, it is time to let her know that you're an attractive man. And this isn't just about physical appearance. It's time for her to feel like a woman instead of just a buddy. So the way you text her needs to make her feel that way. It needs to be kind of that masculine, attractive leader rather than just a buddy. I've actually been thinking about creating a video for you guys on how to flirt. Is that something you'd be interested in? If it is, please comment "flirts" to let me know. It helps to have your feedback about that before I go to all the work to make the video. So if that's something you're interested in, please comment "flirts" to let me know. Basically, when you are texting her, as you flirt, as you pursue, as you demonstrate that you are a confident, driven, interesting man, it's going to start to help her not feel like this is a friend zone thing anymore. This is like a man she's interested in. Now let's say that you've been texting for a while and you have been flirting. Maybe you're getting, you know, she's really receptive to your flirting. That's great! What do you do now? You ask her out. At some point you're just gonna have to rip the bandaid off and and you're just going to have to ask her out. The longer you put it off, the worse it's going to get. Because there's room for confusion, there's room for miscommunication, there's room even for embarrassment and hurt feelings. She may start to think, "Wow, this guy is just— he's just here to flirt. He's not actually interested in me." At some point, nothing in life is guaranteed except the defeat we accept instead of fighting for what we want. You are going to have to take it to the next level if that's you want. You're going to have to show up as the confident masculine leader and just ask her out. Something you can do is maybe if, again, if you've been texting for a long time, maybe you've even been flirty with each other over text, but you still feel nervous about actually asking her out, hint about it first. Just kind of hint towards asking her out or what it would be like or something like that. And so and see how she reacts. If she is very receptive to that and seems to be open to that idea, then don't wait. Immediately ask her out. Like, the next text, ask her out. So we've established how to go through the texting process to get to the actually asking her out stage. So the next thing you need to do is connect with her on the date. If you want another date, you need the first date to go pretty well. That just makes logical sense. The honest truth is there is too much on this stage to cover in this video. This video would be very, very long if I tried to give you all my tips and insights into this. So for now, to sum up, on this date, be yourself. But be the best version of yourself. Make sure it's your best self that you're bringing to this date. I personally believe that you should never pretend to be someone you're not. As a coach in my Academy, my approach is always about showcasing your very best self. Because your dream woman wants the real authentic you. The best version of you. There are very authentic ways to connect with her on the deepest level so she just feels like she can't get enough of you. And I'll teach you more about those in the free training I mentioned earlier. As you're planning the date, choose an activity where you can really talk to each other, you can connect with each other. There are plenty of dates that are fun for later on in the relationship, but they don't give you a lot of opportunity to talk. So make sure you have time to just really connect with each other. Okay, secret end of the video club! I came prepared with a word, but it's actually two words. This one is potato salad. Why? Because when it's summertime, that is, like, my favorite, favorite food ever. I just love potato salad so much. So comment "potato salad." Bonus points if you tell me what your favorite summer food is, because I always enjoy reading your comments. I wish I could reply to all of them. I get too many. But thank you for leaving them. Never forget that you're amazing! If you enjoyed this video, you will also love this video, which is on signs that she likes you as more than a friend. Perfect one to watch in addition to this. I will link it here for you. Thank you so much again for watching, my amazing friends! Have an amazing day, and I will see you in the next one!
