Being nice doesn't mean being weak or spineless. The speaker argues that real niceness includes setting boundaries, holding opinions, and protecting yourself, not just agreeing with everyone.
"Oh, the nice guy never wins. Oh, look at that. The nice guy never wins." So let's just kind of define what we mean by "nice guy." Because there's some truth to it, but it's also complete nonsense. So for starters, when most people say "nice guy," what comes to mind is a man with no backbone, a guy who just kind of lets people walk all over him. He's kind of wishy-washy. Think of Charlie Brown. Someone who sets no boundaries and who has no ambition. This is what comes to mind when most people hear "nice guy." Someone who doesn't have their own thoughts and opinions. However, let's take a step back here. What actually makes someone nice? Can you be nice and set boundaries? Absolutely! Nice people protect other people, don't they? Well, of course, that's a very nice thing to do. And in order to protect other people and yourself, you need to set boundaries. Nice people care enough about themselves and the world to want to make it a better place. They want to have opinions and beliefs and standards. That's a pretty nice thing to do. So it's time to shift our definition of "nice."
