Research shows women who pursue men using masculine behaviors feel less safe and sacrifice femininity, which makes men feel less masculine. Both partners end up unfulfilled. The speaker argues that telling women to ask men out ignores what actually makes relationships work.
Research shows that it makes her feel more masculine when she tries to pursue you in a more masculine way. Kind of makes sense when you stop and think about it, right? What happens is she stops feeling safe. When a woman feels safe, she's safe to feel feminine. When she doesn't feel safe, she tends to take on some of those masculine traits in order to feel safe because there's not a man in her life doing that for her. When this happens, she literally has to sacrifice some of her femininity in order to take on that masculinity. When this happens, it actually kind of forces you to be less masculine as well. So there's really no way this scenario works. It's not fulfilling for either of you. That's why when so many people say, "Well, why doesn't she just man up and, you know, ask me out?" It's like, well, do you really want her to man up? Do you really want that from a girl?
