Colin Sprake's family business collapsed in 2020, but he faked confidence until a dinner where he admitted the truth. His daughters responded with empathy instead of judgment, ending his isolation. He learned that vulnerability with loved ones creates stronger support than pretending everything is fine.
The performance at my front door before it opened was to make sure my family didn't see me for who I truly was. And I kept aiming to say, I need to show up to show them who I am. So when I walk through that front door, they'll be like, wow, how was your day, Dad? I'll be like, it was fabulous. It was magnificent. We crushed it. All those kind of things. When really deep inside, I was so lonely. I was like, I'm lying to my family. I'm fake. I'm false. Those things for me are really important. Now, one day, I sat down with my family and we were just having dinner together. And I said, you know what, I need to tell you the truth of everything that's going on. In 2020, when our business hit the wall and we lost the business pretty much because of COVID I said to them, things are changing. I need to be raw. I need to be real with you. I cried that day. My daughters looked at me like, wow, so sympathetic. In fact, they looked at me and said, Dad, it's okay. We understand that things might be tight financially, that things might be different for us right now. But most importantly, I think they really understood that me being raw, real, and vulnerable with them was something that I think they saw through, even when I came through the front door, they had their bullshit deflectors on and could read exactly what was going on, as opposed to me thinking, oh, I'm putting on this great performance for them. Guess what? They could see straight through it. But the day I was raw, real, and vulnerable with them and shared with them what was truly going on, I got the support I needed. I got the love that I needed. I got the understanding that I needed. And I didn't have to keep on faking it because I really didn't enjoy that. It made me feel lonely. It made me feel completely as an outsider in my own family. Think about this for yourself. What are you doing to really be transparent with your family about what's going on, I can promise you one thing, you'll always get more support.
