Brendon explains how perfectionism breeds harsh self-criticism: you make one mistake and suddenly you're a failure. Instead, acknowledge what went wrong, describe the specific behavior, and skip the self-loathing. Write down reminders to be kinder to yourself.
You have unfair self criticism. You are being unfairly critical of yourself and notice of self, not the situation of self. Like, I screwed that up. I made a terrible mistake. I will never figure this out. Meaning you're using unfair unfair criticism. You could say, like, you know what? I didn't do my best there. I didn't do a good job. My behavior wasn't right. My behavior wasn't in line with my values. I made a mistake. Without harsh tones, self loathing, does that make sense? You can call a spade a spade without tearing up the entire deck, right? You, you can be honest and be like, oh, I'm being real. I'm facing the thing, but not the criticism that degrades who you are or distorts the situation. Do not be too harsh on yourself. Write it down. Don't be too harsh on myself. Don't be too harsh on myself. You need that reminder. If you're a perfectionist, you tend to be overly self critical and you tend to get harsh on yourself. And it's why sometimes perfectionism falls back into lower sense of self, self esteem.
