Four Decisions Changed My Life

Hey guys, it's Brendon Burchard. And I'm filming today in Puerto Rico, which I'm so excited about. You can obviously tell it's an unbelievably beautiful place and it's really brought me back to some of the major decisions I've made in my life because as some of you know, my real journey in personal development began when I had a car accident in the Dominican Republic. Now I'm in Puerto Rico today. But for me that the magic of the Caribbean, the magic of the humidity of the beach, of the sand, of the ocean, it makes me really reflective and definitely appreciate about life because look at this. It's beautiful, right? So I thought I'd share with you today my four major decisions in my life that really shaped the quality of my life because we're always asked that, you know, you guys on Instagram, DM, on our Facebook, here on YouTube is questions like, okay, Brendon, like what made the difference for you in your own struggles, in your own life as you try to build your life and your brand and your career? And I'm always asked about that and I always say, you know, it comes basically down to the same four decisions. The first decision is to have reverence for your life every single day. I know that sounds very personal development hypey. But you know, my story began with what I call mortality motivation. And that is when I was a 19 year old kid, I had that car accident and that inspired me. Even though it was like terrifying and like very scary and upsetting in my life, it taught me that like, listen, hey kid, life is precious. You are not guaranteed tomorrow, you're not guaranteed next week. You're not guaranteed three months from now or three years from now. You don't get to pursue your dreams potentially for 10 or 20 or 50 years. Nothing is guaranteed. And if you understand life is precious, then you really want to drink from it, feel it, experience it, connect with it. And that was everything for me. That mortality motivation, the motivation to live life fully transformed my life. That decision to say, you know what, every morning I wake up, I'm going to have reverence for this. I'm going to appreciate and be grateful for this breath, for this day, for this moment, for the opportunities we all have every single day. I'm going to take that seriously. Sometimes when people hang out with me they're like, man, you're kind of serious. You're intense. I'm like, yeah, because you know what, I know I might only have today. I understand that. And some People, they avoid that. And then one day they're 90 years old and they're like, oh, my God, I didn't live my life. Or one day you get sick, or one day you lose a friend, and then you go, oh, my gosh, life is precious. And all I would encourage you to do is remind yourself of that every day. Like, don't wait for something negative or traumatic or some tragedy to strike before you say, you know what? So grateful to be alive. Because for me, operating my day with a reverence and connection to this blessed moment, a reverence and connection to life that we have, it makes me live each day in a more grateful and honoring place. And just imagine that. Imagine your Monday, your Tuesday, your Wednesday, your Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you began the day, more grateful, more respectful of the life that you have, and more willing to use your time intelligently. Because part of motivation mortality is, hey, I better use my time wisely. I tell people all the time, if you want to know if you appreciate your life, it's not just about the gratitude. Journal. At the end of the day, like, real reverence for life shows up in your time management. How are you really using your days on this earth? What did you really do last week? What did you do last month? Is the priorities you're setting in your life, like, real? Because what people do is they go through the motions or they react so much now they lived a decade, and it wasn't even their life. They were just doing what other people told them. They weren't on their own path. Because when you realize life is short, you say, I, I better walk my path. I only get this shot. This is a blessed day. I better take this time seriously. Reverence for life shows up in how you manage your time. And so that decision for me was, every day I'll have reverence for life. And part of that is that gratitude. Part of that is respecting it, and part of that is making sure I'm on my path and I'm living my day, my life, not somebody else's life. Second, big decision that sort of flowed from that and as serious, but maybe not as, like, intense, is the decision to bring the joy to life. A lot of people, they wait for positive emotion. You know, well, when I get that promotion or when I make that money or when the clients take me seriously or when I get that following, or when something happens when I have the kids or when the kids leave, it's like, someday I will be happy. Someday something will happen, and all of a sudden, life will be good. And a lot of people, they wait for some day, and that day never shows up. Because here's the dominant metaphor in my life that really shifted me, and that is the power plant doesn't have energy. It generates energy. And what I mean by that is a power plant, what it does is it takes energy from one source and it transforms it and stores it and then transmits it to a higher source. And so, yeah, maybe you are surrounded by negativity. Maybe you are surrounded by, you know, a lot of the vitriol of today's culture and the negativity and the hate and the people who don't support you. Maybe there is that energy. But your job is to take the energy of life that sometimes can seem negative and transform it. Ask yourself, how can I see this in a different perspective? How can I not take the energy they're giving me, but rather generate the energy I want to experience in life? You know, if you ever came over to my house or if I was throwing a party and you called up and said, hey, Brent, I'm coming to your house, what should I bring? And I will never be like, you know, bring wine or appetizers or something like that. I'm like, bring the joy. You show up to my house in a good attitude. I always tell people, be responsible for the energy you are projecting into this world. Because what most people are doing is they're being a reflection of the energy that they feel in the immediate moment or a reflection of the energy that other people have been giving them for days, weeks. A lot of people, their energy is the energy they felt because, you know, their parents treated them a certain way, and now they just, like, they reflect that. They're reflecting the energy that's been around them versus taking control of their own mind and saying, okay, what thoughts can I generate? What's my self talk? What are the intentions I want to have and what's the energy I want to create? I can't stand being around people who don't own their energy. You know, they get angry or upset about stupid little things, and you're like, hey, if life is short, you're gonna really care about your energy and the people around you. Listen, the kids, your family, your friends, they want to see you have great energy and stop pretending that that's not a choice. Your energy over the long term is choice. Your attitude is choice. It doesn't mean that, you know, something bad that happens today can't make you upset. That doesn't mean that you can't have the immediate emotion of you know, discouragement, disappointment, anger, sadness. That stuff can come up in reaction to a moment or a circumstance. But if it's still here tomorrow, that is a choice. Now, some. You can't say that's true, Brendan. And I can tell you it isn't true for some people. Right. If you have people with mental illness. Mental disorders, yeah. We can't go around saying, control your attitude because they have a mental illness. But if you don't have that, you have to realize, wait, I got a choice here. Because over the long term, we all can use our thoughts to create better energy. All of us, even those who have mental disorder, ultimately, when they have therapy, when they have training, when they. The whole approach is to help them make better decisions for themselves and improve their own thoughts. Isn't it true we're always trying to improve our own thoughts? And some people, yes, when there's major psychological challenge, disorder, upset, yes, they might need real support. Therapy, they might need real support, some biochemistry, alteration that will help them feel, good medication, sometimes I get all of that. But I'm here to say, for most of us, over the long term, a week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, your attitude, your choice, your mood, your choice, your temperament, your choice, your personality, your choice, your energy in life, your choice. And either that choice is being made with will and intention and discipline and consciousness, or you're just going through the motions and reacting like a dog. So hard to tell people that. But isn't it true that sometimes we can be little brats, we can react to something and we get so upset about it and later on, like, why did I let myself get so upset about that? And notice what you said. Why did I let myself get so upset about that? And so I want to let you know, nothing I've said has been judgmental. Because listen, I had a mental disorder. I had a brain injury, as many years ago, guys know, in 2011, I've been in parts of my life where I couldn't control my thoughts, my mind, my feelings. So I have no judgment to those who are really struggling with it because I needed support for it. And I'm that guy who's spent my entire career saying, if you need support and you're struggling, get it. Go get a therapist, go see a professional. Don't minimize that. We need to not have a stigma about getting support and help. I need to do that when I had my brain injury. But even through that process, you know what I learned? All you're ever going to be doing is working on mastering your mind. You can get all the support in the world, but you still got to do the hard work of mastering your mind. Say, what are my thoughts? How did I react to that? How should I in the future react to that? Because shouldn't it be true as we all mature and grow and get better in life, that we should become more masterful of our own emotions, our own mind, our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own energy? And so for me, the major decision was bring the joy. I'm going to be a person in any given situation who brings the positivity to that situation, Even if everyone else is upset, everyone's negative. I'm going to find some way to bring humor, make people feel comfortable, decrease people's stress, point out something beautiful. I'm going to be that person who, when you leave, like, that guy's pretty joyous. And some people say, well, Brendan, that's fake. You know, that's just fake. That's just not real. Well, you know what? Sometimes if you have to use your will and your mind to be happy, congratulations. Because, you know what is also not good is going through the motions in life and just feeling terrible all the time because you never made a choice to feel better. So if you've got to, like, stir in your heart, in your soul, that energy, that's better than where you are usually. And you want some people say, well, that's fake. I'm like, hey, that's called trying to be better. That's called giving effort to life versus just taking what lands on you. And I think that's really powerful for me personally, choosing to be a person who takes and brings joy from the small things of life. Not waiting for some big, huge thing. But bringing the joy also means to me, noticing, appreciating, being aware, being conscious of the beautiful moments we have. I mean, look at this view that I get to film here today with. Like, I'm so grateful for this opportunity because you all, most of you, I hope, know where I came from. You know, small kid from a small town in Montana, having really difficulty growing up, grew up with nothing. But I did grow up with two parents who loved us, who trying to raise us four kids and there was just blight and economic nothingness all around us. But my parents, I saw them try and I saw them try to make life fun for us. They brought the joy. And I forgot that at some stages in my life. And then after the brain injury, I thought, you know, I've got to take control of my own mind again and bring more joy in my life. So how can you bring more joy into your life? The third big, huge decision for me was to honor the struggle. That means as you're trying to climb that next mountain of success, it's going to be a harder journey than the first one was. But what most people do is they bemoan the struggle, they complain about the struggle, they hate the struggle. Every time there's a challenge, they're the person who's like, ugh. And they get discouraged by it and they quit. And they approach their day with dread because they have to do hard things. But successful people, because they have to do hard things, they honor that. They go, oh, that hard thing, that's going to make me better. This challenge I'm going through, that requires discipline and consistency. It's a struggle. But you know what? I will honor that because I know that will forge within me a better skillset, more mastery, more capability, a another new level of ability to serve other people. That's what comes from honoring the struggle. Because listen, so many people, they drive to work every day, right? They got to commute and after 10 years of commuting, they're still complaining about it. I'm like, if you have to do something every day and you are still complaining about that, that means you have not tapped into this thing called consciousness, right? You have to be a person who, when you got to do something you don't want to do, but it is necessary. You bring the joy to it or you honor it. You go, okay, it's not what I wanted, but I'm going to use it to make me better. And I don't pretend that's easy because some struggles are really difficult, really real. You know, I have to have the same mindset in very difficult circumstances as I coach some of the highest performing people in the world. They lose a parent, they lose a family member, they didn't win the gold medal, they got silver, you know, they didn't. Their business didn't sell for the value they wanted, they got made fun of on the Internet, their company crashed. Like the drama I deal with every day. And I see the difference. I see the difference that some people, when they really struggle, when something messes up, they get so angry. And other people, they go, alright, let me adopt like a learning mindset here. Let me not get disappointed or discouraged or, or hate it or complain or bemoan it or blame other people. Let me just ask, what did I learn that will make me better for this journey? Because life is a journey and it's going to get harder, especially if you want to give more, serve more, grow more, because the more ambitious you get to make a difference, obviously, that's a new mountaintop every single day as you're trying to climb it, people judge you, People hate on you. People will make fun of you. Your business will fail. Things won't work. If you can learn to honor that process. You don't quit if you hate the process. You quit, because anything that hate is applied to quickly dies. So do not hate your struggles. Do not hate your challenge. Do not hate your circumstances. Now. Recognize them as the very things that are forging in you the ability to serve at the next level. Honor the struggle. And the fourth big decision I made in my life was to adopt a role model mindset. When I was a kid, you know, 19, after my car accident, I decided, I want to make a difference in this world. My car accident told me, like, live. That's the mortality motivation stuff. It taught me to love because I realized I wanted to connect with other people. And it taught me to matter, to try and make a difference in my life. Because if life is short, I want to know I did something with that. I helped other people. And one of the things I did after that was I started studying leadership. And I would read about, like, you know, servant leadership from Robert Greenleaf and all these great theorists and great leaders of the past. I started reading biographies of the great people of life. And as I read these biographies, what became really clear to me was something was going on in their mindset were different than other people in some ways. And, like, what was that difference? And one of the differences was that in some way, at some point, not always their whole life, but at some point in their life when everything changed, they adopted a role model mindset. The role model mindset says, how can I deal with life as my highest self? And how can I do it in a way knowing that I'm an example for other people? You might not think of yourself this way, but you are an example right now. So what are you an example of? You know, are you an example of positivity? Are you an example of helping other people? Are you an example of someone who's committed to their dreams? Are you an example of somebody who's in good health? Are you an example of somebody who has compassion and empathy for other people? Are you being a role model for the kids, for the team, for the people who see you on social media? Are you a role model? Or are you just going through the motions? Because the ultimate killer of what we call the high Performance experience, like living life at a heightened level, like what that next level thing is, the ultimate killer of that is just going through the motions. But high performers, successful people, they don't go through the motions. They say, how can I do this with excellence? Because other people are going to see this, and I want to inspire other people. If you really want to inspire other people in your life, you must first adopt the role model mindset. It makes you filter your behavior through. Am I doing this well? Am I being a good example for them? Am I setting the tone? Is this the energy I'd love other people to adopt? When you're a role model, you're not a jerk. When you're a role model, you don't treat people bad. When you're thinking about being a role model, you spend more time with the kids, more time with the art, more time with other people. When you're trying to be a role model, you're thoughtful, you're intentional, you're joyous, you're grateful. Nothing about trying to be a role model is a jerk, right? It forces you to step into your highest and your best self. So think about your behavior over the last month. Have you been a role model for the kids, for the team, for the people around you? Or have you just been going through the motions? Because going through the motions is not going to give you your breakthrough. Trying to lead others, serve others, be an example of goodness in this world is important. As I'm filming this in Puerto rico in about 72 hours, some of my best friends in the world are flying in. They're all inspiring human beings. And my only request of them in bringing them here will be something simple. I always say to people, whatever you do in your life, double down on your goodness. Whatever you do that serves good to the world, do more of that. Because that's where your real role model ness comes into play, is when you're doing what you do and you're doing it well, but you know that it's contributing, it's good. Do more good work. Give more goodness to the world. Because that's how the role models are always thinking. Role models like, how do I do good? How do I do excellent? How do I do good for the world? So my request to you, if any of these four decisions helped you, the first decision, having reverence for life, taking life seriously, operating the day from a place of mortality, motivation, knowing life is short. So you show up. If this idea of bringing joy and being responsible for your energy and feeling joy, deciding to take joy in the small things in life and bring joy to your friends and your family and those you lead. If this idea of honoring your struggle instead of complaining about it, bemoaning it, or seeing it with dread, and honoring it as a process that make you better and this idea of being a role model, if that really serves you, if you can adopt that, I believe your life will change. And if it really does serve you, please just share this video with somebody today who you feel like needs some inspiration, who maybe if they made these decisions, their life might be different. Because I call you guys, if you're new to my world now, I call you all Team hpx. And HPX stands for the High Performance Experience is people who want to live life at that next level of experience, a higher level of experience, HPX High Performance Experience. And if you want to be part of this and you want to share this, then just use TeamHPX. So I can see you sharing this video and talking about it because I just feel like you've got some major decisions to make in your life too. And if the decisions that guided me or helped me or supported me can support you, then please share this video and be part of the community. Because listen, you know, if you've not yet seen the videos with me and my wife on Instagram Live, she always has a saying. She always says, you know, every day you get a choice and you can choose to be average or you can choose to be extraordinary. So go share this video, my friend, and today, go be extraordinary. It.