Girl Who Finds Her Voice, told by Brendon Burchard

You'd help us no matter what. And I said, sarah, why? I mean, at this point, you're gonna fail even if you do great. Like, you can just. The math isn't gonna work out. Like, why would you even want to do this? She's like, well, I just. I feel like I have to do this. And I keep bothering. I'm like, why do you wanna do this? Why do I. She's trying to, like, dodge and everything. And finally she's like, why do you wanna do this? She's like, cause if I don't do it now, I'll never speak. So you said you would help. So help. I just. I just. I have to do it. And he's like, oh, my God. So I said, it's not going to be easy. You're not going to do a great job because you haven't had the practice like all these other people. So, okay, here's what we're going to do. If you're. Are you really committed to this? She's like, yes. I said, okay, tell you what. Pull out my flip chart or my little class chart, wrote her name in. I said, you're going to go on the last day and you're going to be last and you're going to be awesome. And tell you what, every day between now and then, you have to come into this office every single day for two hours, and we're going to work on your speech and your performance. I'm trying to convince her not to do it. Like, who? Because I don't want to deal with this stuff right now. I should have said 30 minutes. I said two hours. She says, okay, like, oh, newbie teacher. So I hand her a stack of public speaking books. I say, you gotta read all of these. Every day. You're just reading all of these and you're coming in and we're gonna film you. We're going to make sure that you are awesome. You're gonna have to come in and get over your stuff. We're gonna do this every single day. She's like, yes. Like, ah. So she leaves. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Every day she comes in, every day she comes in with an outline. She's prepared to speak every day. And every day it was like this epic struggle for these two hours to get this girl out of her shell. Like, she's just terrified, terrified to speak. She's never ever been encouraged to share her voice. I mean, every day it was like taking her from emotional low to try and lifting her up because she was so terrified. This girl had a tough life. I mean, she'd been beaten up by life. And I don't mean that metaphorically. This girl had a tough life. So her voice had been suppressed her whole life. She was never allowed to share who she was. She had it tough. So every day it was like, we have to work through her. Just give her a little competency and then a little kick of confidence. A little competency, a little kick of confidence. A little competency, a little kick of confidence. The two magical pills to self esteem, right? Competence and confidence. Just give it a little bit, give it a little bit, give it a little bit. Give it a little further, get a little further, get a little further. And every day the same thing exactly happened. It was unbelievable. Same thing. She'd go from low single, start feeling good. She'd start talking. Everything's going pretty good. It's like pretty amazing to watch. And then she'd stick and she'd freeze because she'd forget what she was supposed to say. And she'd usually burst into tears or she'd freak out or something would go on. And I'd remind her, I'm like, look, I keep telling her my favorite quote of all time by Rosebeth Kubler Ross, which is, I said, you know what? You're going to forget what you have to say. You're going to forget what you're supposed to do. But you have to have faith. You have to. You have to have that faith in yourself that it will come how I said, and I told her the quote. The quote is, when you come to the edge of all the light that you know and you're about to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen for you. There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. So I tell her and I tell her, yeah, so I tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her. And you know, by the end of the time, working together the day before, I'm like, she's good to go. I was like, I was so excited. She's gonna blast these other students out of the water. They haven't heard her peep the entire semester. And she's gonna come in and deliver this unbelievable thing about volunteering. Like she's got this thing stacked to the deck that everyone's going on to change the world. When this girl talks, I'm like, stacked to the deck. I wake up that morning, I never forget. I got my bag, you know, I'm walking to class. It's like, if any teachers in the room, like, you've taught, real teaching, like, give yourself to the te, man. It's abysmal what we do in this country with our teachers. Abysmal how they're paid and how they're treated. And so I was like, walking. Like, there's like a cloud of contribution you're walking on when you're a teacher and you get to see them do stuff, you know, like, I'm gonna feel when I see you do stuff. It's just like, ah, it's elevating to see people do something and move the needle and, like, progress. I'm walking to class. I'm so excited. Get in class. Everyone's coming in. I get back there because I sit back and evaluate. I pull out my checklist, I pull out my forms, I pull out my calculator. I'm totally ready to, like, do everything. I'm looking around, check, there's John, there's Tim. Check, check, check, check, check. No. Sarah bails. And I was just like, ah. Class starts, we're in the first speech. I'm like, writing things. You know, I'm supposed to be assessing this person. I apologize to them later because I was just kind of like, where's Sarah? Marking up this guy's form. Because it's like, but I got it. You know, sometimes you give, you help, you serve, you teach, and your students don't do your stuff. It's fine. It happens. And I'm accepting that. I'm like, okay, get over it. She's not your responsibility. You did the best you could. You tried. You showed up. You know, deal with it, kid. And I'm just all emotional and upset about it and trying to thing. And the other guy gets up and he's going through his thing. He's doing a great job. And I'm listening to everything else in. The door creaks open and there's Sarah. And she's shaking and she's looking at me. And of course, you know, being the mentor, I'm like, get in here. She walks in. Same thing, man. She walks to her chair, and that girl just shrinks and into her chair. And everybody's looking around, looking at her like, it's amazing. The timing goes because the guy's finished up his speech as she's sitting down. So everyone's like, clapping for him, you know, but they're all looking back at her and then looking back at me in the back of the room. It was like, I'm slow motion. They're all, like, clapping wildly for him, because he's done. And we teach him to everyone, to give a standing ovation. Like, we suck in our culture about celebrating people's voices. So anytime you hear someone do anything, give him a standing ovation. Every time, just do it. Because do you agree? You just got to give it to them, right? So they're. They're giving a standing ovation, you know, for this guy. And they're all looking back at me and looking back at her, and it was like slow motion to look back, and they're like, is she going to speak? And I'm like, I don't know. Clap for him. Boom. He sits down. I go, sarah, you ready? She's like, yeah. She stands up. She walks over the podium. This is my makeshift podium for the day. It's mobile. So she walks up this podium just like we taught her, like, to find herself, find her center, to be peaceful, but be strong. She walks up to the thing, just totally cool, totally good to go. She's like, hi, my name's Sarah. And so she starts talking. She does a pretty good job. She. She's like, getting into it, and she's, like, talking, and she's warming up, and you can tell she hasn't done it before. And she's got some nervous little speaking tics that she's doing back there and everything. And she's kind of talking, and we're all like, oh, please do a good job. Please do a good job. And she's back there and she's talking, and she's kind of warm up. She has this weird tonality to her, though, because she's doing it. It kind of sounds like this. It's kind of like. And. But she starts getting into speech a little bit, and now her ticks, like, amplify. Because sometimes you get momentum behind something. Everything that doesn't work right. Amplify. So now it's like. Also, we got, like, the African rhythm beat going on. Boom. It happens. She forgets what she's supposed to say. Da, da, da, da, da, da, Boom. And there's a reason they say, like a deer caught in headlights, frozen at that moment. My class teaches me everything I ever need to know about leadership, Everything I need to know about supporting somebody. Because these people who had never talked to her, they don't know her. They're just like. They're frozen. We're all frozen for a second. And then someone in the front row is like, you got this, Sarah. Someone over there is like, yeah. They're like, you got it. Keep going. Just keep Talking. You're doing great, Sarah. You got this. You're doing so good. Just keep talking. You're totally. You've been nailing. Just keep going. You're totally good. Just keep going. And she's like, suck. And they're saying this, and she's like, click, click. Huh? It's like she came back and so she's listening to them. And I mic all my students because I want them to learn about the feedback, right? So they can hear the speaker. So there's a speaker under the table. And she kind of forgets she's mic'd right now because they're saying, you got this there. And she starts repeating it to herself. She's like, you got this, girl. You got this. You can do this. You can. Okay. Yeah. You got this. You've been doing great. Just keep. Keep going. I mean, everything's good. They kind. They like. You just keep talking. Just like Brendan said. And la la, la, la, la. And she gets done, and we're all, like, frozen. No one claps. No one gives her the standing ovation because we're all like. She talked. She walks out from behind the table. She walks out into the class. No one's clapping. No one's moving. We're all like, holy crap, she can talk. We're all just stunned by the whole African rhythm thing. I think she hypnotized us. I don't know. She's walking back and she starts seeing that no one's moving. We're all like this. And she starts walking back to her chair. And as she's walking back to her chair, she starts sinking, kinda like, what did I just do? And she starts getting back to her chair, and we all kind of like. Kind of like snap out of it. And we're like, oh, yeah. And she goes to sit down, and everyone stands up and they give this girl this standing ovation. You could not believe. You wouldn't believe it. You wouldn't believe it. They give her this huge standing ovation. The buzzer rings. People are, like, hugging her and grabbing onto her, and they're just so lit up. It's like an ABC After School Special, man. This is like. It's like, so unbelievable that she just did this. And I'll never forget because, you know, everyone's coming up to me and they're smacking me on the back. Good job. Good job. Oh, my God. You got her to speak. This is so freaking amazing. I can't believe this is happening. I'm like. I can't believe it either. Oh, my God, this is so awesome. I'm so excited about it. Everyone's hugging the buzz and things. I got a class to go teach afterwards and I'm like, I gotta get my stuff together. I have some grabbing my things and everything. I look up, everyone's gone, she's gone. And I didn't get to say congratulations. And so I'm, you know, putting my stuff away and I'm shoot, I wish I could have said something to her. I should have grabbed her. And I'm putting my stuff away and I'm just starting to, like, really emotional about it. Like, so awesome. Oh my God. So I'm getting all teary and putting my stuff away and I got to get my stuff together because I got to teach a class next. It really freaks them out when the teacher shows up crying, you know, so I'm like trying to get my, you know, get myself, trying to get myself together, put everything. And the door opens and her face is full with tears, but the good kind. And her face is red and she stands in full into the room, like, I've never seen her, like, boom. Whoo. And she says, this is why we're here. 19 year old girl says this to me, says, thank you, Brendan. I just wanted to come back and say thanks because nobody ever told me I had any potential. Thank you. She turned and she walked out. I was like, this is a 19 year old woman who has never been told she had any potential. Knocked me off my rocks. I just knocked me off my stability. I thought, how can there be people who have never ever been told they had any. It changed my whole world. It was like, how can no one. She's 19, she's been on the planet 19 years. Nobody ever told her she had any potential. Blew my mind. She's been through K through 12, she's been through almost four years of college. I'm like, nobody ever told her, how does that happen? How does that happen? But I saw the result and I was like, you know what? You can inspire people you don't even know. You're just helping. You're just doing your thing. You don't even know what they've heard, what they've been through. You have no clue about their psychology. But you know what? They've been through some stuff and maybe something you say can help them. I remember the next morning, I'm reading the school newspaper and there's a quote in there from Henry David Thoreau, and it said something about the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. And I remember thinking that's so not true. Because you know what? The desperation's not so quiet anymore. You listen to your family, you listen to the culture, you read the media. We don't have. There's no quiet desperation anymore. It is a mass calling for help, a mass calling for something more meaningful, something where we can tap into our potential and live at that level. It is a mind massive, massive need. And it is a thunderous cry for help. And you're going to show up, Sam.