How To Achieve More Aliveness (1+ Hour Class!)

And if you're wondering who you're going to become, what's going to make you feel different, it's four things you're after. Four things. The best life is four things. It's just four things. Once you got it, you know, here's what everyone wants after they have, let's just say some sustenance or safety. Let's just. Can we assume those two things, right? You have a house or a place to stay and you have some food. Let's just start with that. But what we want is human beings. We want, as human beings after those things. The first thing we want is aliveness. Who's excited when you're talking about the vision of the future again? Gosh, I would love for you, if I could give you any gift, to see yourself in a more positive light, a more intentional light, a better best version of whatever you call it. Your highest, best self, your ultra best self, your superior best self, your future best self, your joyful best whatever it is for you. Your loving best self, whatever it is. I don't care what the words are. I just want you to make a connection with that every day as a disciplined practice. Just like I asked. Is there anyone who revs up their mind every day to serve and to be in a good place? So few people actually do it well. So few people have ever had that practice of identifying who they're going to become, seeing into the becoming versus landing on who you are. You understand? Did you ever wonder how your spouse landed on who they are? At one point you got together, you were so energized and excited for the future. You're dating the person, you're out with the person, somebody in your significant others. And like, you know, you're like, hey, they had ambition, they had energy and everything. And then a couple years later, you're like, what happened? Anyone in the room? Okay, yeah, yeah, some. Some people raising your hand very enthusiastically. Okay, it's kind of a bummer. Or you had. You had that child who had so much potential and you saw all the potential they had in middle school and high school and then they went to college and it was just like their esteem fell apart. And you just witnessed it and you thought, what happened? What happened? Often what happens is ourselves or the people we are around, they hold an image of us and we get caged in it, trapped in it. We think that's the thing again. And for so many kids, especially the youth today. Listen, I know a lot of older people bemoan the youth of today, but it's tough right now. This is a tough time to grow up. I mean it really. We gotta be nice to the kids, man. The kids, I know everybody. Oh, those kids are lazy. Your parents said that about you, and your grandparents said it about your parents. Every generation thinks the new generation is lucky, entitled, lazy. Every generation in history of human recorded history has said the same thing. All these new youth, you can go way back and find this literally 4,000 years ago in Hinduism already talking about, oh, the new generation, like, it's. It's a hard time. It's been a hard few years. There's a lot of division. And many of you, you know, myself included, were lucky not to grow up comparing ourselves. A hundred swipes a day. You know, that's some poison right there. You know, what people don't understand is the average person right now is spending over an hour and a half a day on Facebook or Instagram just by those two. Add TikTok, and now we're into two hours plus of what is called consumption. But the reality is when you're consuming those things, it does two things to you. The first thing, that you and you can't control either of them. And most people are doing two hours of it over about 1,500 exposures to. To two psychological things that happen immediately when you grab that phone and you go through it or you look, Instagram doesn't matter. TikTok, pick your poison. Whatever you go through, what most people don't understand is psychologically, two things immediately happen that you cannot control. First and foremost, you judge every swipe. You judge instantaneous training of judgment. Is this worthwhile? Is this relevant? Do I like it? Is it worth a. Like, is it worth a share? Is it worth a comment? So 1500 times you go, do I like it? Is it worth it? Should I share it? 1500 times a day? You've heard of Pavlovs dogs, right? If you do something repeatedly, that's just. You become automated about it. Well, we become automated about judgment. The reason there's so much divisiveness is because every day on our device, we are chair. We are conditioning ourselves to judge. The more you. Every swipe is a judgment. Isn't it worth saying on it or leaving judgment, judgment, judgment. 1500 times a day. Think about that. 1,500 judgments. Some of you are like, I don't know, how do have these high performers do it? Because they're not doing 1,500 decisions like that, like many other people are. Because you know what? That's mental allocation. That's your mental capital. Every judgment and decision. It's the same reason you hear all these guys in Silicon Valley who they always wear the same shirt or the same clothes because they want to take away that one extra judgment every day, one less decision, so their mind power can be fresh on other things. Well, if you spend 1,500 judgments a day, which is average, by the way, think about that. You're like, brennan, I'm so burnt out. Okay, let's go through some of your practices. The second thing it forces you to immediately do is compare. 1,500 comparisons. Two hours of comparison a day, two hours of comparison. You actually. You think, I don't compare. I love when people say, bren, I don't compare. When I look at social media, I'm evolved. I can look at it and stay centered. I know myself. I don't look at it like you do. And it's like, oh, need some neuroscience training. You can't help it. There's this thing called your mirror neurons. You can't control it. When you see another human doing something, your brain immediately wonders what it would look like for you to be doing it or experiencing it. It's how you develop and feel a sense of connection or empathy to things or how you can imagine yourself. You see a guy jumping off a thing and. And landing, and it's a scary, crazy jump and leap. You feel this adrenaline watching somebody else do it, and you're not even doing it. You're at the safety of your own home, and you see that guy jump off the cliff, and he's got the wing suit, and he's flying over Norway or some Scandinavian place, and you're like, wow. And you feel the adrenaline. Your palms are sweating. That's the mirror neurons. You can't control. It just happens for most people. So now what happens? Two hours a day judging, Two hours a day comparing. And you wonder why you don't have a fresh mental image of yourself, why you don't feel a vibrant connection with yourself, why sometimes when I do those activities, I know some of you in this room, like Brendan, when you told me to close my eyes and see my future self, I didn't see anything. Right, Exactly. And that's why you need to do this as a practice. Raise your hand if you follow. Exactly. For those of you, you're like, if I, Brendan, I struggled to see anything. Exactly. That's why you need to do that every day. Right. It's the same as saying, like, if I. If you're like, brendan, my biceps are so small. It's like, yeah, you, you don't use it, you don't see yourself and get enthusiastic about yourself and who you are becoming, can become and can achieve because you don't see it. You don't use that part of your brain. So now you draw a blank. When you ask to think about the future, you have to condition that. That's why everyone talks about, in good old personal development, that visualization, right? It's so important. I just want you to be conscious of it. Because if for some reason today we went through what we went through and you'd like, you're lacking that connection with your future self, you're not seeing or sensing the enthusiasm, you're probably in the comfortable life or in that caged part. And what happens in those two parts is you get disconnected from the best of who you are. You get disconnected from that vision. And so what's happening is you are always playing the immediate game, just right here, right now. Reaction, reaction, reaction, reaction, reaction, reaction, reaction, reaction. But what you're really doing is comparison, judgment, comparison, judgment, comparison, judge. So at the end of the day, you're mentally spent. Some people today, they are so mentally spent at the end of the day and you look at their actual workload and their actual responsibilities and it is not reflective of that burnout. They don't know what I mean. Like you go, oh, you're, you know, if we were back in a different era, before phones, we would say like doctors were like, well that's weird, you're that stressed and that mentally fatigued with this job. So there used to be occupational research studies that studied the stress of different occupations. Right. Many of those same occupations today measured are experiencing double digit increase in stress in a two decade span of time. What happened? The job didn't change, the occupation didn't change. It's that that same person is doing even the same work, even the same processes. When they study like specific things in engineering or specific things in construction, the same types of things be happening. The difference is they added 1,500 mentally exhausting comparisons and judgments who follows what I'm talking about. I want you to be so vily aware of this, so insanely aware about when you start consuming or you start using something, if you're consuming, it better be growing you up, it better be lighting you up, engaging you, making you excited. Otherwise, let me tell you what garbage in garbage. Yeah. A lot of people who are mentally drained, their jobs, occupations and realities, it's not there's they would feel so much better but they're mentally drained all the time. And I can tell you, traveling the world this last year, a lot of people mentally drained. But they're mentally drained doing very easy jobs. They're mentally drained when they're like, well, Brendan, you don't understand. I have one child. I'm like, my partner has eight children in one of my businesses. Eight children. He's vibrant because he's not doing the additional. Additional 1500 swipes. Who follows what I'm talking about? I really want you to be attentive to this right now. If today, when we talked about anything in your future, if you haven't found an enthusiasm yet in self or in future, I want to let you know either A, you're tired or B, you're out of practice seeing the best of who you are. I see it like Ed shared, he sees the best of. He literally can see the best. If you listen to Ed Mylett's podcast, you would think every guest in the world that he has on there is the best human being should win a Nobel Prize for just the most extraordinary, amazing. He just lavishes love and praise on people and some of them make fun of it. But, like, often you haven't got any of that praise for so long. Often you haven't visualized yourself for so long. And so you're playing small because you're in immediacy, you're in comparison, you're in judgment. I just want you to be really attentive to this today. Like when you sleep tonight and you're thinking about, like, wow, we were doing those activities. I didn't. I didn't feel the pop when he was talking about the pop. I didn't. I didn't feel that energy, that enthusiasm. I couldn't see, I couldn't relate. I couldn't connect. And. And don't get down on yourself and say, go, oh, I'm out of practice. Everyone say it with me. I'm out of practice. Everyone say it with me. I'm out of practice. If you don't feel joyful, it's not because joy doesn't exist in your heart and your soul. You forgot the power plant doesn't have energy. It generates. You got out of the practice of generating energy. Some of you got out of the practice of generating the vision of who you're going to become. You've been in survival mode, and in survival mode, you got comfortable there. And sometimes when you're in survival mode, when you're in the cage, it's very uncomfortable to try to imagine a Future dream. But I told you about how my dad did three tours in Vietnam. And there's these very famous psychological studies of Vietnam veterans who were encaptured and held hostage. And how did they manage to survive that? And some of them became well adjusted, successful people. It was like, how did that happen? And to a T. They talked about when they were captured, how they took themselves to a different mental place and connected with that and somehow were able to maintain a different attitude, a different mindset. Some of you guys recognize that as a pattern. If you ever read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, one of the most important books in all of personal development history, in my personal opinion, that the last of the human freedoms is the ability to choose one's own attitude. And he found out even in war camps that those who survived longer, he would note that they were more connected to a future new story, even, even after the terror, even after the difficulties. And we live in a culture right now where very few people are there. Instead, they're in their own imprisonment. They're in their own imprisonment. They've lacked that practice. I know it sounds so basic, but I say I'm out of practice. Because if your happiness is a 7.2. I think this group was 7.2. Yeah, that's right. No, I'm sorry. 7. I want to make sure. Right. Because this is your numbers. Oh, thank you. If you're at a 7.2 and a 7.4, I want to let you know you're out of practice. Say I'm out of practice. Right. When you're in practice, with happiness. When you're in practice, that's an easy 8 and 9. It doesn't mean every moment. It doesn't mean life is perfect. Notice this doesn't say perfect. And this doesn't say perfect. It says happy. What level of happiness are you in your life right now? What level of confidence do you have in facing things? So those things, I want you to improve them is practice. Everything in personal development comes down to practice. Not perfection, just practice. That visualization will change it. But I want to make sure I ended the night with two very simple things. One, what is the difference between the desires and the achievements of the charged life? The most successful life, the the highest performing, ultra successful people in the world. What? What's that? What's here? And I'll share with you. I've drawn this out on napkins. Literally sitting on someone's jet. I've drawn this out with sports teams. I've drawn this out for many of you who are in growth day, you've seen me draw this out before or talk this out. I'm going to give you these four desires so you understand, like, what's the difference and how are they applying it? And then I'll share with some of you towards the end of this night here about, like, what is growth day? Because I know everyone's like, some of you are like, what is your thing? I came to see the speaker. I came to see that thing. I'll share a little bit more about that, especially since Ed's involved now. I think it's really cool. Okay, so if you all could grab your notes. I just want you to draw life's answer since you've been looking so hard in all of your personal development. Okay? One picture is going to tell you everything that you want in your life. See, I thought, see, if I was at a seminar and something I'm gonna tell you everything you want in your life. I'd be like, tell me, anyone excited about tonight still? Are you out of gas? I hope you're not out of gas. I would have paid tens of millions of dollars for this if you could. Well, if I had tens of millions, let's be honest. But if I could have found this out in my teenage years, in my 20s, I would. I would have given the world to find this out. Many of you still don't know this. And you're 50, 60, 70, and 80, and you're still striving like, what is it? Where is it? What. What is that thing I'm looking for? And people always say, well, I don't know what my purpose is. Or, I don't know this. It's like, no, no, you're. You don't know what you're looking for yet. You haven't found that truth about our human seeking, our human desires. And once you tap into it, you're like, oh, I need to build practice. I need to build what practices around these four things. When you do life, a whole other level, it's the charge life, it's a whole different level. So what's the difference? Charged, comfortable, cage. What's. In all cases. And if you're like wondering who you're going to become, what's going to make you feel different? It's four things you're after. Four things. The best life is four things. It's just four things. Once you got it, you know it. Here's what everyone wants after they have, let's just say, some sustenance or safety. Let's Just can we assume those two things, right? You have a house or a place to stay and you have some food. Let's just start with that. But what we want is human beings. We want, as human beings after those things. The first thing we want is aliveness. And you heard this message throughout the day. It's why I had Ed talk about it today, especially the story of his father. That and I shared a phrase with you I'd love for you to write down and really get in your bones. What most successful people want that they don't know that they want is they just want to feel the day again. They want to feel that aliveness. You might use different words. Okay, so let's walk down some of these words. Okay, Maybe you say what I want, Brendan, I want vibrancy. Write that word down. What does aliveness mean? Some people say, Brennan, I want passion. Some people say, I want enthusiasm, I want excitement. Some people say, I want energized health. What is it for you but aliveness? There's something there. It's a mindset. It's a physical thing. It's a spiritual thing. You all know it. Sometimes you have too much caffeine and you're just flying and flowing. You feel great and then you crash later on, you know I'm talking about. Right? But aliveness, when you have it, it's like what Ed was talking about. When you're on that roller coaster and you're going up and you're excited at the top about the fall before you get scared that, like, woo. You know, that little pop. That's what I'm talking. It's the pop. Everyone said the pop. You want the pop. You want that. You want life to pop a little bit, you know, when it's too boring for too long. Now you get into those stories that they call it. Well, that's the midlife crisis he's having. No, he feels bored. Well, what's wrong with him? He had everything. He had all success. He had a woman who loved him. He had kids, he had a good job, he had a good career. He must have had a midlife crisis. He didn't have no crisis. There was no crisis. We think it's a crisis. No, it was a slow burn to boredom. It was a slow. If you don't call it boredom, that's okay. It was a slow burn. Disconnection. Let me tell the gentlemen in here or those with high masculine energy, if you get bored or you get detached too long, you'll burn it down. You will burn it down. You don't even know you're gonna burn. You will burn it down. It wasn't no midlife. You burned it down. You were bored and detached for too long. Maybe bored because you were highly competent and you were the biggest fish. You were the smartest game. You were the CEO. You didn't have anyone challenging you, so you got bored. No one around you was challenging. You got all these yes people you were paying. Ah, you got bored even though hard job, lots of employees, no one was pushing you anymore. There was no edge. Everyone say there was no edge. So you thought you were in the ultra successful, but the truth is you were playing a solo game. You thought you were the king, but you were the only person on the chessboard. So you weren't in the game anymore. And now you're bored. And if you're not bored, notice the other language I use, detached. Detached means you don't feel the day. You don't feel the connection with the other, with the partner or the spouse. You don't feel the energy or the emotion. You're just kind of like you might be high performing, but you're detached from it. You're distant from it. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? It's like you're going through the motions, but you're not there. There's a lack of presence or vibrancy or pop in the moment. There's aliveness. So some people, they seek. I can't feel it, Brent. So they seek aliveness through addiction, through alcohol, through drugs, through some type of thing that makes them feel alive again. Some of them, it's adventure. They got to jump off that cliff or ride those roller coasters. They need something to bring back life to them. And many people, because they don't have any personal development practices or spiritual practices to do that. What they do is they seek it out through things that are ultimately destructive. I want you to all be really aware. If you are a hard driving, assertive, aggressive, driven person, you need to pay attention when boredom or disconnection comes into your life. Because when those happen for too long, that energy gets pent up and it keeps building and you don't even know. And like a pipe, you're going to burst and everyone's going to say you went crazy. But it's a slow burn to that moment. And then bam. You don't even know it. And you do something irresponsible, you cheat, you cut a corner, you make that cheap deal you knew you should have sold there. You make a bad decision because you were Bored or disconnected. Is this helpful to anybody? I'm telling you, it explains so much in human behavior. And what you didn't know is you were just after aliveness, but you didn't know that's what it was called. You didn't know that. And a lot of people, especially guys like where I was raised, they never learned emotional vitality. You know, I grew up in a place. I don't know about you all. Did anyone grow up in a place where you didn't have a lot of like emotional intelligence and expression? Anyone? I always tell the joke. Like I grew up in a place where most dudes were like this. That's happy. And when they talk, they talk at you like this. Straight at you, talk at you. Uh huh. Yeah. All right. And if they raise this hand, if this hand comes above the belt, it means you're about to get smacked in the face, right? No, I mean, no, I mean, if that hand came up, you're getting punched. Where I grew up, grew up fighting my whole life. That's why I have two black belts. I had to learn how to take care of myself. Like I was growing up in a really tough place. But that's what happens. Many people grow up and they don't have emotional expression around them. And if they don't learn how to do it, then they get bored and they don't feel aliveness. There's no adventure or pop. Vibrancy, presence, enthusiasm. You call it whatever you want, passion. I don't care what you call it. If that is absent, that person who doesn't know how to express themselves emotionally, soon as that builds up too long, bam. They move. Bam. Cheat, Bam. Steal. Bam. Bad deal. And it was like that came out of nowhere. I mean, I can't believe he did that. She did that. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. They didn't know how important it was to build aliveness in along the way. Do you know if you build aliveness into your marriage, into your relationship on a consistent basis, as a practice, As a. You don't cheat as much. I'm talking about the research, not you specifically. Those who have personal development practices in committed relationships. Cheat less. Is that a better way to say it for y'? All? So think about it. It's like, but you think it has to be some big vacation or something. No, no, no. You gotta build that stuff in onto the daily. You gotta access something that makes you feel alive. This is what I'm telling you. The most successful people in the world. I work with they think they bring me in for one reason. And I go, oh, you don't feel life anymore? And they're like, yeah, that's it, man. Yeah. Wow. So I'm just giving you the answers in advance. The answers in advance is you want aliveness, so you gotta build that in. What's gonna make you come alive. I want you to write that down right now and throughout this weekend, right? What's going to make you feel like that sense of aliveness, that sense of pop, adventure, passion, hobby time break. Hanging around higher level people, getting around the energy you're experiencing here. Because who's having a good time at Growth Day? Ladies and gentlemen, aliveness. What's the word? Oh, you don't know how bad you need that until you date somebody dead. You know what I'm saying? You ever go on a date with someone and you're like, like afterwards, someone's like, how was he? Or she? Or they or whatever? And you're like, man, it was the worst. They were so boring. They were like dead. And. And every friend's like, that bad? And you're like, oh, it was awful. And a lot of the world is there right now because they're in resentment. And sometimes people in the back of the cage look really bored, but they're not, they're resentful and bitter and they feel alone. And so we gotta bring them back and we gotta rattle a little bit and we gotta get them around to different quality people. We gotta put them on a different chessboard. We gotta get around people like this. Like the person to your left or right, he's got a little pop, a little energy. And when you're around the right people and your community is like that, you're like, woohoo. It's like, how are you so energized, Brenda? I'm like, I don't have any jerks around me. The people around me, they got good energy. The people around me are like, you and you and you and you guys. I got so much joy. Like, how do you have so much joy? I'm like, I'm around joyful people. How are you so high performing? I'm like, I like high performing people. I gather them, we get in groups, we hang out, we do this kind of stuff, this kind of energy. Some people will make fun of this kind of energy. I'm like, go hang out with the opposite then and tell me what that's like. Because that's not what we're after. We're after. What's this word? What are Your practices, to feel it every day, every day. You got to find it in the simplest of things. Everything you do can improved by putting a practice in for aliveness. I work with a lot of athletes who are infinitely, infinitely healthier than I am. I mean, they're like amazing. I mean, these. I mean, they're professionals. They're the best in the world. And you know what? Sometimes they hit a plateau in their career. They're just. I mean, they're the best in the world. They work with the best in the world. And then they bring me in, right? And I'm there, the scrawny kid. And I'm supposed to help this person who's like, jacked and breaking world records, literally. And I'm supposed to help them. And they look at me like, what are you gonna help me do? I'm like, oh, I'm not your physical coach. And that's what they do. They always laugh. Am I that diminutive? I don't know what happens. They always laugh. I said, I'm not your physical coach. You know, it reminds me. It's like when I was growing up and I was in college, my little sister, I was like her big brother. I was like her hero, right? So she ended up coming to the same college I was at a couple years behind me. And I think I was like, maybe. Yeah, I think I was a junior, and she's a freshman. She came in and. And she was like on the, you know, the. The dance squad and the cheer squad kind of stuff. And so she was always trying to connect me with her friends. And she would line us up on, like, blind dates. And she would say to them, she's like, oh, yeah, you got my brother, he's so amazing, and everything else like this. And they would come to the door, and I would open the door, and I would always notice this weird energy right? When they opened the door. And I didn't. I was like, why is this. And it took me a while. I said, sis, what are you saying to these people? Like, what's the. Like, what are you saying to them? Because I noticed when they opened the door, there's kind of like this weird, like, measuring me up thing going on. And I was like, how are you? Tell me how you describe me to other people. And she's going on and on and on and on. And then she said. I was like, ah. Cause she was telling all her friends, he looks like Tom Cruise. So the girl would open the door, she'd be like, oh, oh, my God. That's what Happens when I show up with the Olympians or the NFL guys or the NHL guys. I show up and they're like, you. I love it so much. And then what's happening is they're plateauing. Hey, listen, for those who've earned your money, and you've been at same level of earning the same money for three, four, five years, you're not growing. For those of you who you're in the gym, you're doing the same reps, same routines, you're not. There's just no breakthrough happening for you. You need to put aliveness into that process a little bit. Something that makes you feel, like, alive. I was running a sprinter, and she was, you know, world champion. She was trying to figure out she plateaued, like, three or four races in a row. And, I mean, they had all the means in the world to help this person work through. And so I just followed her for two and a half days with permission. It wasn't weird. And so I followed her and I watched her do the workouts. And I was just watching her face as she was doing the workouts, and I was just watching. I was watching, watching. And then one day she did something a little different, and I saw her face light up a little bit. And for her, it was this particular type of sprint that she was doing that she really enjoyed. And I was like, oh. So I pulled her. I said. I said, I have this wild idea. I noticed when you do this, you really like. Is that a thing you like? She goes, oh, I love it. I said, why do you like it? She's like, oh, just the way that I move through the air. And she starts describing all this amazing stuff that she's doing biomechanically. I didn't understand at all. I was like, I think she likes it. And I was like, when you do that, you look different. She's like, oh, I really love it. I'm like, I need you to do that every practice. She's like, no, these are on my 2A days, and I only do it on this. And she had this whole complex, you know, thing that they had built for her. I mean, she was a machine following these coachings and everything. Well, no, I don't, because of this and that, and I might. Whatever. I'm like, yeah, yeah, just do this every time. This is what I get paid a million dollars for. Just so you know. This is really complex stuff. I'm telling you. It was really. Common sense is not always common. Needed new practice. I said, put that into every workout for the next 12 weeks. Some of you know the end of that story. World champion, world record breaking gold medal and gold medal, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. After she plateaued for three years. Why? Well, most of it was mindset first. She had plateaued in the very thing I did with you guys earlier. Didn't see herself escalating anymore, didn't see herself becoming. She lost that connection of that winner, that connection of that person who was just like flying through the air because now she was famous. So because she's famous, she had all these new obligations. So she stopped visualizing and dreaming. Because sometimes when you visualize in your dream and you get what you want now, you have all the responsibilities to handle and you stop visualizing and dreaming the next level. And so you are disconnected. I work with another Olympian who famously, all over the tabloids, started doing a bunch of drugs and why? Success. Success. Visualization. Visualization. Visualization. And now got disconnected from the future vision of where this person could go. And in disconnection, you will tear it down. So started getting in trouble, started doing drugs. And everyone's like, oh, must be his character. Must be this or that. And it's like, he's tearing it down, doesn't feel alive anymore. Is this too much for day one? Yeah, this is this stuff. So what do you do in your career when you were crushing it and you were growing? What was the thing that you're doing that made that feel like there's energy there, even if it was stressful? Because, listen, so many people misunderstand that. It feels like, oh, the charge. Life just feels great and it's flowing all the time. Oh, no. There's tension to it. There's what I call performance edge. There's an edge. A lot of people think they have anxiety and stress. I'm like, oh, no, no. That's readiness. You just didn't know what to label it yet because it's a little uncomfortable. That is the appropriate amount of adrenaline and cortisol to handle something. You're not experiencing anxiety. You labeled it anxiety. You're experiencing the body going, ooh, I need to be on right now. Right when you're backstage and you feel those things, you can either say, that's terrifying feelings and emotions. I start sweating and I get all weird. And I'm like, no, that's your body going, hey, you're gonna go out to serve. Level it up. Pay attention. Let's draw some attention. Let's drop some hormones on you so that you are here and you are alert. That's performance Edge. There is attention to it. For those of you who have a partner who you think is tense all the time, but they're high performing and they're killing it, and they're happy at it. Don't try to take that away from them. If you're a partner and you try to remove performance edge from your spouse or your partner, you're gonna remove yourself from that marriage pretty dang quick. A lot of partners kill the drive and the drive. If there is happiness and confidence and contribution there, don't try to break that edge. If you break that edge, you understand that's important to them now. Okay, they're gonna placate you. They're gonna placate you. They're not gonna drive as hard, and after three or four years, they're gonna feel bored. They're gonna get a little disconnected. And you thought you domesticated them or you put them in the cage. All right? But you put them in a cage long enough, and they get bored back there. They get disconnected from the future. And they had been that free animal before. They'd been allowed to hunt. They'd been allowed to hunt. They'd been allowed to hunt, and now they can't hunt anymore in their way. And now they're in that cage. Ooh, they're gonna rattle that thing. They're gonna break it. They're gon down. Please be conscious. We need to support other people's drive for aliveness, even when it's different than ours. My wife thinks I'm crazy. In so many. This would be her nightmare. I feel alive now. Imagine if she projected her style of aliveness onto me and said, you know what? I don't like those events. You do. They're kind of risky. You know, you're always tired afterwards. It takes so much from you. I see you hurt. Hurt. I see. Have to do these ice baths, and those are awful and terrible. Never let your spouse walk in on you doing an ice bath because you know, there's no way to look amazing at it. And she's like. And she's like, oh, my God. You go through so much pain to serve these people. I'm like, I love it. So if I placated. Yeah, I don't want you to see me in pain and do this. I won't take this risk anymore because it's not your style of risk. My aliveness would be gone, and I would break that relationship. Who follows what I'm talking about? This is so powerful in our lives. You want aliveness, and here's my Ask for you. I need you to find that for yourself. Insert that practice. If you've plateaued weightlifting, you need to find something that you love to do and insert it again. Put that thing right. Even if it's off program. Please listen. Even if it's off program, put that thing back in. You got to keep that joy in there. You got to keep building that aliveness in there. This is why you got to do those date nights. Even when you don't feel like it, when you got to take that break in that vacation, even when you feel like it, even if your partner's like, I want to go ride horses, and you're like, I hate horses. Go ride the horse. You are either adding to their aliveness or you are deadening it. And you better be conscious. Can I get an amen on a Thursday? If you don't want to ride the horse, let them ride the horse. You don't have to go walk along the horse. Pat the horse in the ass. Let it go faster, but don't tell them they can't get on the horse. That's how you kill the charged life from somebody. That's what we're doing as a society. We're not letting people explore and adventure and try. And every time they feel joyous, we're like, what do you. You aren't. You drink the Kool Aid when you see someone alive, just like, what's wrong with you? That's what they did to me in college. I came back from my accident and I was spiritually alive. And people are like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, what's wrong with you now? You're so alive. I'm like, why are you so dead? Aliveness. You're after it. Build it in. Who loves this? Oh, my God. Keep doing personal development. Keep listening to motivational speakers. Keep. If you need to do it, talk out to a microphone. Talk into your phone. Like, get into the action of sounding alive, and you will feel so different. It's amazing. Talk with people who are alive. Be around people who are alive. Hire people who are alive. And when you do that, you're like, ooh, now I know some of you go, well, I hired an alive son of a. I hired a person who was alive, and they stole all my things. Like, oh, no, no, no. We're not talking about not having character. We're talking about the human desires. Okay, the other piece. We all want connection. Connection. Now, we want connection on usually on three different levels. We want connection with ourself, like, the human Drive to know thyself is legendary. We want to connect with others and we want to connect with something bigger. Presence, universe, God, spirit, something like that. Whether scientists staring off into the stars and the universes to try to understand our place in it, whether it's physics or spirituality at the same thing. There's something for all of us beyond in some way. And so as we try to understand those things, it's important to know that's really important. And most people don't understand how huge this is in personal development. On the relationship side, we want deep, meaningful relationships. Deep, meaningful. Let me add it. Alive, authentic relationships. And you have to build those. You have to what? Build those. You got to build them. Oh my gosh. Do you have to build them if you don't have five amazing friends, five great friends. I want you to do the best gift yourself ever. We showed all, all access with Growth day. And I want you to go to the learn section. I'll show it to you tomorrow, I'm sure. And I want you to go. If you didn't know, you can go to the learn section and you can sort by coach or sort by topic. The past classes. We have 200 classes in there from literally the best in the world, the best teachers in the world. And I want you to go and sort by friendship. I know it sounds so crazy, but it was one of our most popular months we ever did on how as adults to make great friends. Because many people don't have any new great friends after college. Many people have one friend and they have no deep, meaningful, alive, authentic friendship groups. Do you know we used to say friendship groups? Did you know that in the research pre 1960s it was friendship groups was a big concern of sociology and study. Like you remember, used to say peer groups. Y' all heard that phrase, no one says it anymore in research. Now it's a friend. It's bowling alone. It's single experiences of life now. It's a headset where you're imagining other people there and there's other people in the other rooms around you to go talk to. We've lost that real connection. But I hope, if anything here, I hope you meet somebody awesome here at Growth who's met somebody awesome at Groethe already. Would you keep in touch with each other? I hope you will. I want you to challenge yourself. Everyone's like, oh, Brendan's selling something. I am. I am selling challenge. If you want to know what I'm selling here, I'm selling challenge. I want you to challenge yourself again. I want you to get back in the charge of. I want you to be more conscious. I want you to get in that called zone. I want you to feel so much different. And my challenge to you is to dramatically improve your relationships. I mean, to put that aliveness and that authenticity and that depth in. It's not about having 10 more. It's about deeper, real fun, engaging, heartfelt, loving relationships. I want you to have those. I want you to. And here, listen. Some of you have money goals, and you never set a goal for that. I hope I have a partner. I hope I found a spouse. I'm like, oh, no, no, no. See, maybe it's because I'm a small town. When I came to the big city, San Francisco, California, which is another story. And it's super funny. When I came, because I was so young and naive and dumb, and I showed up in San Francisco, I was like, oh, my goodness. And my mom and I showed up. We pulled off on that famous Mission Boulevard. And we pulled off and we went down to Main Street, Market street, and there were just. I mean, there were hundreds of thousands of people all around. And I was in a. I think I was in a Van or a U Haul, and she's in the Honda behind me. And we had walkie talkies because we're from Montana. And. And. Or a cell phone that was like a walkie talkie. I can't remember what the heck that thing was. And. And. And. And we. And we envisioned. We ended up pulling in, we go to town, and it was so crazy. And we went down to this area where the realtor was, and it was. It was in the Castro area. And what happened is when we pulled off, I was like, whoa, San Francisco is alive. This is crazy. There's people walking around. They're naked all around. Everything's going on. We didn't know. We showed up during Pride Week, and Pride Week in San Francisco used to be a hundred thousand people down on Market Street. We pulled right off the highway, right into the middle of it, and I was like, whoa, San Francisco's different. I was like, whoa, this is a party. I was like, she's like, oh. And she was like, what's happening here? Where's my son? What's happening? And we had no idea the whole weekend. It was hilarious. I mean, we were just so dumb, and we had the best time, met so many amazing people. And I share the story because what ended up happening is I remember getting there and thinking in my mind, I don't know a soul in the city. By the time I leave this city, I'm going to have so many friends here. What I found out was, no, no, I am going to make so many friends in this town. People are going to be. I'm just every town I go to. And, you know, I got that from my dad. My dad who worked at DMV and was in the military. My dad, everywhere he went, he made friends. He would always make a joke. He'd ask about your kids, he'd get to know you. When we wheeled him out of the hospital after he had fought his second fight with chemo, when he got acute myeloid leukemia and we wheeled him out, the nurses cried because they knew he was going home to die. And he made him laugh every day. Every day as he's. Literally, life is draining out of him. For weeks on end, they cried. Your dad was amazing. He was so fun. He always made us laugh. Everywhere he went, he made friends. It was something to see. And also, when I was a kid, it felt so uncomfortable because he just talked to the person in the elevator. I'm like, dad. Oh, God. But it was hilarious. He always commented. He always did that. And I said, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna be that person. I'm gonna make friends everywhere I go. Some of you, you haven't had that as a goal for a while. You just got into adulthood and you were doing the adulting thing with the job and the career and the kids and everything. And. And you have casual acquaintances, right? You go walking the. The thing with. With kids and the mom and everybody else. You got the. You know, you got the. You got the crew from the neighborhood. You meet at the Starbucks once in a while, and you're kind of casual about it. Hey, you're cool. You're cool. We know each other. Our kids hang out. They're kind of friends or whatever, and it's so surf that you're wondering, what the hell is life about. You need friends who are alive and authentic and deep and engaging with you. You need, like, you know, I call ultra friends all the time. It's like he's like my friend. You met my friends. I mean, they are ultra. They are funny. They're up in your grill. They are. I mean, none of them are in my industry, like my closest friends. Like, I met them long time ago in San Francisco or in college. They are funny. My current friends in the industry, some of you guys see it on social media. Like, everybody in my industry, we. We're friends. We get together just to be together. I mean, the rooms that we get together. I'm just like, how do you do that? I'm like, oh, everyone thinks it's a trick. I'm like, no. Amazing people want to be with amazing people. That's why we are all here in Austin. Can I get a hell yes connection? You're dying for it. Find it, build it. But please listen to me. I'm sharing something with you. Please listen. Because we think that the most successful, happy people in the world are doing crazy things. These are practices for them. They're what? And they're how often you got it. Daily practices to connect. This is why I send out three voice messages to three different people every single day, praising them, often telling a joke, recounting an old story, rekindling that relationship, saying thank you, cheering them on. I saw you got this going on online. I hope you're being great. I'm praying for you. You know, and I've generated that so many times with so many people that even at this event, I got so many texts from people who I haven't heard from or seen in years, writing me these long. Brennan, I'm praying for you to have the strength and the energy to serve your people. I know how hard that is for that many hours. And just these beautiful notes cheering me on because I sent it to them. Even people I haven't talked to for a while. I'm that guy who shows up in your life, and we haven't talked for five years. I still remember everything. We have this great time together. I want you to be that for other people. Like, we have all these goals to become the millionaire and the billionaire now, and no one has any friends. And you think I'm kidding? You know how many really successful people. I mean, really successful people who. They forgot that part? And I had mentorship. I didn't find this out, you know, by myself. Like, everything I'm teaching you here, I had the blessing. I came up, you know, seeking out psychologists and personal development people and history people and business people, and, I mean, I learned from all the best. And. And I. I remember one time, Brian Tracy. You remember Brian Tracy? Oh, Brian, he's so amazing. And he taught me this. He said, you know how Brent, he said, brendan, you know how some people say it's lonely at the top? I said, yeah. He goes, if you're lonely at the top, you did it wrong. I was like, I love that you should never be lonely. We live in a lonely epidemic. And, you know, we blame loneliness. Have you seen the media vilify Loneliness. As if loneliness is a problem. There's this whole thing called cause and effect, right? Loneliness is not a problem. Loneliness is a consequence of practices. That's all it is. Loneliness is not a disorder. It's a symptom of bad practices. And no one wants to say that today because that sounds rude. I'm like, wait, no, no, loneliness doesn't happen to somebody. Like, we forget to being response able for our relationships. I want you to have vibrant relationships. I want you to go home. Here's you know what, I'm one of the few guys in the industry that the spouse is like, because you know what? I. I want you to go home and have amazing sex. Yeah. Oh, too early for the first day. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Some of you like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, go. I mean, go home and just have like the most amazing connection with your spouse ever. I'll talk a lot about that on Saturday about how to do that in your relationships. Unbelievable. Have unbelievable, deep, connected, intimate, loving, physical relationships with your spouse or your partner. Have incredible, authentic, alive, fun, joyful relationships and conversations with your friends. Can we make that a goal? Yes. I promise you. I promise you. I just changed your life because so few people have a goal for that. So few people, they just go through the motions. They go through the motions in bed, they go through the motions at the breakfast table. They go through the motions with their old buddy who still talks about the high school win of the last time and haven't updated their stories together and gone on adventure. None. Anything to alive. Oh my God. What else? Okay, I know, I know. I'm going off. I'm getting fired up over here. Meaning, whoops. Meaningful pursuits. Oh yeah, we got some growth day people in here who know that answer. Woo. Listen to this one. High performers. Everyone gets this wrong in personal development. They just haven't done the work they tell you you want. Meaning that's how you know a beginner in personal development versus the pros. I know a lot of people who have meaning in their life. They have a great job, they got two great kids, they have amazing spouse or partner. They're doing something. Some of you guys know, I actually started my first seminars for nonprofit leaders, if you didn't know. My first, like, real seminars were teaching nonprofits how to partner with entrepreneurs to raise more money and entrepreneurs how to partner with nonprofits to spread a message or be part of a mission. Those are my first seminars working with nonprofits. Do you know how many nonprofit leaders around this world still call me every single Week. They're non profit leaders and they're unhappy. They're saving lives in other countries and they're unhappy. And when we get into it, like, what's going on there, There's a difference between meaning, having meaning or generating meaning and meaningful pursuits. If. Let me tell you this. If you lost the pursuit in your life, that's the difference between the comfortable life and the charged life. The pursuit, the pursuit of something greater or harder. The challenge, the push. That part where you have to extend yourself beyond the comfort into the demand. It makes you feel alive. It makes you find flow and challenge and difficulty of contribution. If contribution is too easy for you, the meaning will never make you feel fulfilled. Say it again. If your contribution is too easy for you, the meaning that you could have there will never make you feel fulfilled. You always wonder, why am I not fulfilled? Because you're doing something that is too easy for you. The human psyche drives for competence and the development of that competence, as we will talk about in a moment. So I know amazing people, they don't feel fulfilled because they lost the hunt. That's what we call it in Montana. I don't know other metaphors. Someone help me. I don't. The hunt, the pursuit, right? You're not driving for something anymore. You're doing something, but you're not driving for something that matters to you. Live, love, matter. You got to drive something that matters to you. If it doesn't matter to you, it could be so meaningful and you could be doing something meaningful. But if you're not stretching, if there's no pursuit, we lost the edge. And as soon as we lost the edge, we're back in the comfortable life and we don't know why. And then we're bored and then we're disconnected. And then we're in the cage. And then we resentful, and then we're bitter. And then we think those bastards don't understand and we're the animal in the back of the cage. Whoa, this is so important. What's the pursuit? What's that contribution you're going to go after? It might be a little outside your comfort zone. It might be a little bit much. And I know people get really hooked about the contribution word. Does that mean I need to change the world? I'm like, no, no. What's the contribution? Listen, there can be creative contribution. Making art is a contribution, right? Giving, serving. Yeah, you can write checks, you can volunteer. But volunteerism isn't the only way of contributing. Contributing sometimes being an unbelievable mom. Contributing sometimes means getting Involved locally again, contributing sometimes being a great leader at work where you stop just doing your work and you see the other people at work and you work together and you're pursuing something that drive that. A lot of companies when I work with them are like, oh, you all lost your pursuit. You became an organizational stagnant company. There's no pursuit, there's no edge there anymore. We got to get that performance edge back in the culture. And all of a sudden people are like, woo. They're alive again. Meaningful pursuits. What are your pursuits? We're gonna work on that this week and then right in the middle, we're gonna continue work on that fourth big desire. Growth. Growth. Growth, growth, Growth. Competence. As we develop more competence, we develop more confidence. As we become more competent and confident, we contribute more. It's like a cycle. When you grab this and you rev it up, this revs up, this revs up and this revs up. If you have this and you dial it backwards, this dies, this dies and this dies. Who understands? You got to grab this. Everyone. Grab your heart and crank it up. Yeah. When you do that, that's different. When you turn back on your personal development. That's why we're. Who's feeling pretty alive right now? Yeah. Who had a good day one so far at Grote. Yeah, we gotta get you back. We gotta get you back. In these conversations, we got you thinking like this. Some of you haven't had the time to think like this for a while. You've been so busy and you got disconnected. Even if you're hard driving just sometimes that extra level of growth and the way I'm going to input a lot of growth to you this weekend is one. Just some of the mindset stuff we've talked about. I hope you've learned some good mindset ideas today. I hope we've shifted your thinking. I hope you opened some awareness for you myself or Ed. We've got so many speakers coming the way the next couple days to continue opening the awareness, continue helping you find that. But I hope that for one word if I could give you today is challenge. Challenge. Yeah. Those who already got. You're already the A player. Don't make sure you make sure you're not the only king on the chessboard, if you know what I'm saying. Make sure you got people leveling you up, playing a harder game because otherwise you get bored or disconnected. What I want to say is like if your relationship is dull, I'm not the guy and I never have been the guy. I'm Not. I know a lot of people are very flippant in my industry, and they're like, oh, she's negative. Leave her. Oh, he was mean to you one time. Divorce him. I'm not the leave a person quickly guy. I'm like, challenge yourself to work for them. Challenge yourself to level up together. Challenge yourself to honor the relationship. Challenge yourself to go deeper. Challenge yourself. We lost that commitment to challenge ourselves. When it gets hard to stay in it. When it gets hard, we bow out. Now we quit. We leave, we stop. And I'm here to say maybe this is the time you challenge yourself to stay in it. When it's uncomfortable. Maybe today for some of you, something's been uncomfortable. I get it. You know, I know today that I might not be your guy, right? You might. I know inevitably some of you, like, he ain't Tom Cruise. I'm not everybody's guy. That's why we've got Ed and Jamie and Lori and trucks and all these other people who are going to come and serve you who are here from Growth Day. I know it. I know it. I might not be your guy, but that's why we have Growth Day. That's why we have everyone serving you. That's what we want to do with you. And we just want you to stay in what we call the Growth loop. In what? The Growth loop. If we can help you with Growth Day, the software to do that and our platform, the let's do that. If we can do it just the next two, three days together, let's do that. But I want you to understand what we're doing here at Growth Day. Cause this is my meaningful pursuit and this is my hardest area of growth. Tomorrow, I really want to tell you the story of Growth Day. I know some of you use it, but you don't know the story and how brutal it has been to pull this all together for you so hard. And I'm so happy we stayed in it because who had a good day so far today? Here's my meaningful pursuit. If you guys go to the slide, I want to show you just a couple slides, if you don't mind. I want you to know the context you're coming into tomorrow. For those who don't know Growth Day well yet, I believe that people are ambitious, but often discouraged, exhausted and stressed. They're struggling to tap into motivation, to summon confidence, to stay focused and disciplined and make real life progress. But they don't know how to keep a positive attitude, keep productive, keep growing through difficulty. They don't know how to consistently change. What's the word? It's spelled wrong on there. That's why I'm making sure you're saying it. They don't know how to consistently change and level up their lives and mindsets and then go win at work. In life and Growth Day, we solve that. We solve that. It was like, how do you do it if you don't know the whole story about Growth Day? Growth Day is a system, It's a platform. It's something that I built and was born out of the pandemic. When I saw so many people lose their aliveness and, and their energy and their hope and their ambition and their connection to the world, they lost it. And I was watching it in droves in not just the us, in cultures around the world, because that's what I'm connected to. We have clients in 190 countries around the world. So I'm watching this happen and the feedback all around the world, people were losing it. I was like, we gotta do something. We gotta do something different. We gotta make this easier, more vibrant. So if you're wondering why you're here and what I'm trying to do, we're trying to be the number one personal development platform in the world. But our goal, our drive is how do we make self improvement a way of life? I want you to hear what I just said. Make self improvement a way of life. That's what I want for you. Cause you need daily practices to do that. So Growth Day has all of your journaling, all of your habit tracking, all of your goal setting. And the way that we explain it casually to people who are new to the industry is imagine if the world's number one coaches in mindset and performance success productivity helped you every week stay more motivated and confident and productive every week, all year. And even me, if you didn't know in growth today, if you enjoy today, I leave a daily message in Growth Day. Every day. That's only in Growth Day. And it disappears every day. Every day I record it and every day it's gone. Every day coaching you. So if you like today's kind of messages from me, imagine if I did that for you all year. So These are all 50 or $100,000 keynote speakers. They're live for you every Wednesday. And if you ever miss, you get the replays. And if you didn't know. Also, one thing that we are doing a better job of telling the story is when you're in Growth Day all access, you have literally $5,000 of courses in there. Actually that first one, that Wayne Dyer seminar, that's a five hour Wayne Dyer seminar. Now, if you didn't know Wayne passed, and if you didn't know, Wayne was a great friend and mentor to me. And I learned a lot from Wayne, one of my very favorite teachers of all time. And Hay House Publishing gave me that course to share with you. That was literally a five hour seminar he did. I would give $10,000 for that course. I've listened to that thing. I don't even. 20 times. 20 times. Growth Day, All Access is literally a cup of coffee a day. It's 500 bucks a year. That's 40 bucks a month, something like that. 40, 45. 50 bucks a month. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. But we unlock courses. Larry King, we got to do a course with them about how he communicated all those years, became the most successful interviewer all time. If you're a podcaster, buy Growth Day just for that. To hear him talk about how he interviewed the most successful people for 30 years in a five hour communication class, it will boggle your mind. We sold that for a thousand dollars separately. You get that in All Access plus everyone live. So I just want to give you an idea of what's in there. I know you already get it. These are all the different topics we've talked about in Growth Day in the last 18 months. And the reason you see blue and red, this is specific to you, so tune in. Those blue things are the things you struggle with as an audience. When you filled out the surveys or we tracked your data, you're struggling with motivation, confidence, resilience, productivity, growth, mindset, high performance, communication mastery, discipline, managing your finances and staying committed. Those are the highest level ones. You can go into Growth Day and select those and watch nine different teachers, diverse teachers from different walks of life, all millionaires. All what? All millionaires. Doing an hour keynote on each of those topics. Nine different millionaires talking about those topics for 50 bucks a month or something like this, guys. So I'm not going to belabor the point. I hope that at some point you'll go all in with us. When you think about your personal growth, you know, when you really think about it, it's like for those who don't, that's the context of Growth Day for some of you, you use it all the time. Some of you, you're just getting exposed to it. You maybe are. You're new. Our encouragement is to go in, right? 500 bucks a year. How many would pay $500 a year to hear Ed Mylett every Monday? I mean, I don't even know how to quantify that for you. And pretty quick that's gonna become a thousand dollar a month program. Not kidding. So you guys can get in now. 500 bucks and you get Ed for a year every Monday. You get me for a year every day. And then you get all the other speakers you're going to hear up here who teach in growth day. Because at some point in our lives we just go all in on our growth. For some of you, this event is it. But my hope for you is this is not the end of the line. I know. It's so simple. That's it. That's my big pitch for the weekend. You're all good with that? That's it. So simple. Cuz my invitation to you is this. I have no hook to it at all. My feeling this. You guys should get with slides. Here's my thought right here with me, with somebody else, with a teacher, with anybody. Go deeper, go deeper. Right here. Go deeper. Put your hand back on your chest, crank it up and go. Go deeper. You. This is the unlock to all of this. And when this goes down, these die. Hey, it's Brent. I just want to thank you for watching my channel. There's so many other teachings and trainings on this channel, so please enjoy. Thanks for being here. Also for those who want to go to another level, I have an upcoming Certified High Performance Coach Certification week. This is where I teach you and certify you to become a world class life coach. We call them Certified High Performance coaches. You can click the link in the description right now to apply and to learn about our upcoming certification week. If you want to go to another level as a life coach and you want me to certify you and help you, make sure you click that link and take advantage of it right now. Enrollment is open today.