How to Believe in People Again

How can you believe in people again? You know, if you've been hurt or you've been dismissed, or people have judged you, or you've faced critics and cynics or mean people throughout parts of your lives, or you're facing that now, how do you deal with that? You know, how do you keep an optimistic and realistic understanding of what's out there when there's some people around you who just seem like they're always pushing you down or someone who's broken your heart or. Or somebody who walked away from you at an important time? Like, how do you keep your faith in humanity during the times when it seems like a few of them are messing it all up? Well, I think there's a few things that we always have to keep in mind. And I know it's about really just about perspective and about having presence with people again. But how do you get that back? How do you get that trust back with people? Well, first and foremost, you need to realize how important that is. If you are drowning in pools of pessimism about humanity because of just a few people's behavior, it's time to re evaluate that. We've got 7 billion people on this planet and we can know for sure that humanity's natural sort of nature, our impulse, our drive, our push, our natural bend is towards goodness and virtue and kindness. And if you don't believe that, you need to actually step out of your own pain or hurt and look at the facts. We're at a time in life right now on the planet where there's less war than there's ever been, ever. There's less faction fighting between villages, less killing between families all around the world. We have less global warfare going on. That says something. But look at the fact of the reality of this. We're in a place where, as mankind mastered the atom and the machinery of death, if humankind's natural impulses were to kill each other, or things were so terrible that we were so awful, we would have killed each other and blown up this planet a long time ago. That we have not is a miracle. But it is also an indication that you know what most people are out there. They are good, they are kind. They're doing their best to get through the day, just like you are. And you can't ever forget that. It's that old philosopher's statement, if we knew how difficult of a time our enemies had in dealing with their lives and their struggles, they would soon become our friends. And so, as you deal with difficult people, don't forget, never Let a few people's behavior sort of mess up your overall view of humanity. Because the overall view of humanity, you know what it is? It's like you. It's people just trying to get through the day, trying to believe in their dreams, trying to be themselves, trying to do creative acts that mean something to them, trying to make their difference, trying to support their family, trying to care for their kids. If you ever get in a place where you feel like you're so special and nobody else can understand you, you're in a different, deep, difficult, dark, potentially dangerous place. Look, don't ever be one of those people who says, well, they don't understand me. Because soon as you get there, that's being what we call. You're kind of trapped in the caged life. And what I mean by that is you're kind of like that animal resigned in the back of a cage at a zoo who just like points it over and goes, they don't understand me. And you gotta sit down in your own anger and frustration. And people who say that they don't understand me, they're often the ones who have the biggest ego. Because really, 7 billion people, thousands of years of human history recorded, and no one can understand you. It's important always to remember that your situation, your context, your frustrations and your challenges, they're not all that unique. And, gosh, that makes people angry when I say that. You know, I know it's so easy to say, oh, this kid doesn't understand me. Pause. Like, you could already hate me right now. You could post mean comments. But isn't it true? Look, a lot of billions of people have gone through this earth. They've gone through what you are going through. What makes you unique is not your circumstances. What makes you unique is not the context of the things you're fighting through in your life. What makes you unique is your own personal experience about it and how you are choosing to deal with it. And either you're choosing to deal with it in a positive way or negative way. Now, I know at this point you can say, well, Brendan, I wanted to watch this video because I wanted to learn how to deal with. With difficult people and get my belief in people again. And here you are berating me. And believe me, I'm not. I'm asking you not to wear the victim hat. I'm asking you to believe in yourself again, too. To realize that, yes, there are some people out there who you could lose some faith in. But the reality is, most people have faith just like you that you know Maybe tomorrow can be a better day. I just want you to reconnect with the reality that most people are struggling and they are doing their best. Don't detach from the world by saying they don't understand me. No, they do understand you. And they're a lot like you. They got the same beat, the same heart, the same desires for family, for wealth, for abundance, for good health. Don't forget that just because someone was an ass to you, just because somebody hurts your heart, just because something happened, because what it would be, it would be like, you know, if you got hurt in a relationship and so you decided to build up this big wall, you know, to protect yourself, you know, to take care of yourself, to keep yourself away from the bad guys. Well, sure, you build up that big wall and yeah, it keep the bad guys out, but who else would it keep out? The good guys. Sometimes in our own self protection, we block out the very thing we so desperately desire. We want more love and acceptance in our life, but we build up this big facade, put on this mask, build up this barricade to keep out the bad guys. The good guys can't get in and we can't experience the that higher quality of humanity. Those positive people, those cheerleaders for you, those people who believe in you and who just always have your back. They are there. They exist. Trust in that. Never forget that. Don't detach from humanity from a few people's behavior. Second, please don't ever forget that in silence we often find our suffering. What do you mean by that? It's like if someone did hurt you and you've lost your faith in humanity. The way to reconnect with humanity is to engage with it. The way to trust people again is to share your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs, your ambitions, your dreams with people again. Because you might be in a place where after a while, when you've had a lot of people hurt you or let you down, you know what you do, you stop sharing who you are with the world. And now the world feels less connected, it feels bland, it feels zestless. That's not happening because the world is that way. It's because the world doesn't know you, the world doesn't feel you or sense you. So they can't react and put positive things in there. You're just kind of going through the motions each day and they're not sensing who you truly are. The best way to reconnect with other people and to have faith in other people again is to show them who we are. And you'll find out the more people you show who you are, the more that on average, by far, most of them will let you go about your day. They won't bother you or criticize you. Most of them will cheer you on, most of them will connect with you. At least most of them will pay attention and say, oh, wow, there's an authentic, alive, vibrant, true human being. Look at that. I'd sure like to know them. Because most people are so caught up in their self protection that they've gotten away from that. And so everybody kind of looks like they're sometimes walking around like a bunch of sort of, you know, emotionless robots and vampires. You know, it's just like, where's the energy and the zest and the vibe and the passion? Bring that out of yourself again and watch who you attract, watch what ends up happening. And now you start to find, oh, wow, hey, you know, there's people are good, people are good. I'm not saying there's not some people out there who aren't negative. I'm not saying there aren't some people out there who, who are just so blocked or so struggling in their own space that they're not mean. There are a lot of mean people out there. There are a lot of oblivious people, no question. They're not the majority. Remember that. They're not the majority. So what can you do? I mean, what can you actually do? First, share more about how you think, how you feel, what you want, what your dreams are. Start sharing that with people, let them know who you are again. And then second, you know, if you've lost that connection, the best thing you can do is reconnect with some of your friends. Go out to lunch with them, go out to dinner with them. Spend more time with the people who are positive, who do love you, who have shown you care, be around them. And then here's the trick. Network with the people in their network. What do you mean by that? If everyone seems like a jerk, but you have one positive person who you work with at your job, you know what? Go out to lunch with them and then start talking with them and get to know their friends. Go out to lunch with their friends, go out to dinner with their friends. Because you know what? Positive people tend to attract other positive people. And soon as you reconnect with your friends who are positive, who do believe in people, who do believe in you, who do cheer you on, you start to access their network of other people like that. And suddenly you start to see all around you these supportive people who. Who believe in you, who want to engage with you, who you have enthusiasm to meet and see again, and then you have what we call the Charged life. Hey, everybody, it's Brendan. Did you enjoy this episode? If you did, would you do me a favor? Just share it with your family, your friends, your loved ones, someone that you care about, your co workers, someone you think could benefit from having this positive message in their life. And if you'd like to hear more from me, just go over to itunes and download my podcast. It's called the Charged Life. And you can also get my book for free@motivationmanifesto.com until I see you next time. Go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly, and make your difference. Today.