How to Build Fulfilling Relationships

Be committed to building the circle of influence that you deserve in your life. At this stage of your life, you have to be conscientious about it. You got to get at it. Because when those people around you are living a life of impact and meaning and fulfillment, it lifts you up because sometimes you will drown in your own discouragement. And it is your circle of influence, the people around you, the people in your network, who can help draw you out of that faster. And that is something to be grateful for. Our job in our relationships is to create real, authentic, caring interactions. Real, authentic, caring. Write it down. Real, authentic, caring. Real means that we are being who we really are in that relationship, right? We are being real with that person. We're speaking our real thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires, needs. We understand and hear their real thoughts, feelings, desires, needs and dreams. We validate it. We appreciate it. We are acknowledging it. That's being real with one another, right? We're meeting each other as two people who are separate. We're coming together, creating a real connection based on actual honesty and trust that comes from sharing one another's real thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams, needs. That's real. Authentic. Authentic means, oh, this relationship is unique to us. So often we're taught in the modern world authenticity is about us. Because we all think of authenticity now as like social media. Am I showing up real in my social media? But in real life, in family dynamics or sociology, authenticity is about the relationship. It's I am authentic with myself, in relationship with my sister. We have an authentic relationship. And my relationship with my mom is different. We have an authentic relationship. An authentic relationship with my mother means different things than an authentic relationship with my sister. As an example, right? Each person, you have a team. You have a team. If you treat each person on the team exactly the same because you're always authentic, that's not an authentic relationship. An authentic relationship is that relationship with them is real and unique to them. It's authentic with that person. That's what we're talking about here. We've got to be able to have on top of this realness or this authenticity, this sense of that there's a depth or an intimacy in that relationship. Depth would be like, oh, I know things about this person. Intimacy could mean the same thing, but means there's a depth there that could be physical as well. But I think depth or intimacy in sharing with one another is really important. I think most people don't have fulfilling relationships because they don't have deep relationships. They're always talking about surface things. They're Talking about what's on tv, they're talking about the weather, they're talking about what's in the media, they're talking about comparison to other people, but they never talk about the meaning of life. I would say you barely know a person until you've talked about the meaning of life with someone, because what do you really know if you're not connected or understanding what their sense of purpose is or where they draw fulfillment or meaning from? So this whole conversation we're having today, if you had conversations like this with your family, think about how deeper those relationships would be. I know some of you are laughing right now because you can imagine never having this conversation with your family. I totally understand. But I think it's important that we say, okay, if I want to have a great relationships, they've got to be real, they've got to be trusting, they've got to be intimate, they've got to be deeper. And the more I would say this, I was talking with Denise, actually about this topic this morning, and she was like, when she thinks about meaning and fulfillment, her first go to is relationships. First go to, because, you know, if the people around you ever sense fulfillment, if the people around you don't imbue moments with meaning, then now you're left to do all the hard work. And if you haven't done personal development work before, what ends up happening is you kind of just take what's given to you. And I think it's important that we realize the people we surround ourselves with should be people who, who understand life's meaning, who are seeking it out, people who want to feel fulfilled, do good things, be role models, because those people lift us up. Those people. Recon. Has anyone had an interaction with somebody in the last year or two who reminded you about the blessings or the importance of life? And when you're around those people, everything changes. I was so blessed. My entire 20s I spent with a lot of older people, a generation above two, above mine. And so I was a volunteer. So I did a lot of volunteering. And I spent a lot of times with, like, with groups like, you know, Kiwanians or Rotary Club members, ymca. And, you know, most of those folks who I hung out with were like in their 60s and above. And they're always saying, kid, you don't realize how lucky you have it. You know, kid, make sure you drink. Take it all in, kid, you know what? Life is so precious. And they were always saying, I was around my entire 20s, people telling me about the value and the beauty and the Importance and the blessing of life all the time. All the time. I mean, constantly, every weekend, I'm volunteering all the time. And you know what? That's why I feel like, wow. I don't feel like I've had any disconnect from that for 20 years because I was around it so much. Because, remember, the people around you, they shape your meaning. Meaning, yes, it's individual. Yes, we can take control of it. Yes, we can define it. But you know what? No matter what some of those things get through, your environment shapes you because you're soaking in it. And so make sure the relationships you have are high quality. Now, this is everyone's like, but Brennan, you don't understand my spouse. Well, he's a doozy. It's like, it's. If you're around people who aren't like this, the job isn't to get rid of them and throw them away. The job is to go build that group somewhere else to find that, to find that, to build it. If you didn't get it right, you didn't just luckily fall into a group. I didn't have that. I grew up in a town that had been economically depressed for a century. I grew up in a town that it was so survival mindset, but also very aggressive and competitive. There wasn't a whole lot of talk about these things. And I had to go find and build it. I had to start going to personal development seminars. I had to engage with higher achievers. I had to look for people who had fulfillment in their lives no matter what they were doing, and I had to seek them out. And I made that a choice. I made that a decision. I said, I'm going to create an awesome group of people be around in my life. I don't know how, but I'm going to do networking. I'm going to do volunteering. I'm going to ask to be around people, and I'm going to get mentors. And I'm going to make sure that I surround myself with people who care about life, who want to live meaningful and fulfilling lives, who want to lead, who want to make a difference. And I can't think a single person at all in my entire life today after that was. That decision was 25 years ago for me. I can't think of a single person who I have a consistent or recurring communication with in my entire life who isn't like that. Now. Every person to a person, to a T, Every person I interact with has some sense of that or they don't get in my world. It doesn't mean I'm unfair or discount people. It just means I'm not going to let that stuff into my head. And I don't say that I'm perfect. I say it took me 20 years. Like I said, that's going to be a goal. I'm going to get there, and I want you to have that goal. Like, the people around you should be so fulfilled and so happy and grateful for their lives. And you got to find that, you got to lead that. You got to cultivate that. You got to talk about that. I think fulfillment should be a topic that people talk about every single month of their life. If you're in relationship with someone, ask your spouse or your partner, hey, do you feel fulfilled? And just hold that space. If they don't feel fulfilled, ask why. Get to know them. Understand what they're really looking for. Encourage them to go in the direction that will bring them that fulfillment. Encourage them at the end of a bad day, when you hear them say sentence after sentence of negative self talk or meaning after meaning, that's catastrophic, terrible, negative, awful. Be that encourager. Be that person who helps them maybe think about or become more aware of that self talk or those labels or that meaning. You can do it without judgment, but you can also be committed to building the circle of influence that you deserve in your life. At this stage of your life, you have to be conscientious about it. You got to get at it. Because when those people around you are living a life of impact and meaning and fulfillment, it lifts you up. I have down days, and then I talk to somebody in my circle and it's like, whoa. It just kind of resets my brain a little bit and I go, oh, I've been speaking negative. Oh, I've been thinking small and all right, okay. Yeah, I am lucky. I am blessed. Oh, my gosh, let's go, Brandon. And I get back on. Because sometimes you will drown in your own discouragement. And it is your circle of influence, the people around you, the people in your network who can help draw you out of that faster. And that is something to be grateful for.